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Interesting Links - 2007

[2007] [2006] [2005] [2004] [2003] [2002] [2001] [2000]

Zombie RPG - Release date "not in 2010" but keep your eyes open. [By: AussieFoot / 2010-08-30]
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  • Don't forget to Double Tap. And come to think of it, a lot of these rules, if not all, can apply to Fishies too. Welcome to Fishieland. -KrazerKap
  • Release date: 2012. It's a LARP, and it plays for keeps, one game only... -VFox
  • ALCOHOLIC WHIPPED CREAM!! - I don't care if the web is dead/dying; this ROCKS!! [By: unrenowned / 2010-08-20]
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  • "Please enjoy cream responsibly"...They should have told a few of the girls I went to high school this... -0gr3
  • As a baker and a producer of various whipped fillings/toppings for cakes at work, I can tell you that making stuff like this is simple and cheap... These people might have found a nice niche market to focus on. If so, bravo! -exzyle2k
  • Hmm. Whippit addicts rejoice? -LDFeral
  • Whip it good! -chazz
  • Yeah, but "Give Me Cream-dot-com"? Site is SFW, but url is not!!! -Captain Trips
  • Just about any good liqueur added to whipping cream, and whisk/whip it up yourself. Certainly the product's smart, but it's nothing new. The downside to these ready-made things is the ingredients are usually very low-grade. -AlanSmithee
  • The Web Is Dead - A very good read about the death of the Web (not the internet) Read and Enjoy [By: DarkRookie / 2010-08-17]
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  • I tried _very hard_ not to TL;DR the article, but the bisected WALLOFTEXT format is a pain to get through. It makes a few good points though. -Seamus
  • I believe there is an option to do five pages of text, but my browser at work seems not to like that to much, so I have to do the wall of text option. -DarkRookie
  • The Web Is Dead - Great article on wired about the death of the web. Good read. Warning it does have alot of text and only one picture. (Reposted the link to the 5 page style instead of the one giant text page.) [By: DarkRookie / 2010-08-17]
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  • Basically, people are lazy and they want everything handed to them or for someone else to do all the work for them. I don't believe this is a surprising new concept here at TSC. -Stryker One
  • Interesting take on things but I don't take it seriously. The sheep will flock to the newest incarnation of AOL-life they can find. Those of us who don't thing the internet is just for Facebook will still find interesting things outside of the "apps" that the authors claim the Web has lost ground to. -Tekkie
  • Meh, I can't be bothered reading this. Can someone give me a summary . . . with pie charts! (mmmmm, piieeee) -AussieFoot
  • tl;dr ;-) -chazz
  • OMG WTF TEXTING ACRONYM! Prince (the artist again known as?) was right!? Aiee! -LDFeral
  • Jaguar XJ SuperSport won't boot/run.... - I wonder if Microsoft had anything to do with the coding in this car.... [By: Grue / 2010-08-14]
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  • It said in the article it was (at least partially) a linux-powered computer system. -Bynar
  • It said that the entertainment system was Linux-based... but said nothing about the rest of the car. -chazz
  • I jusr skimmed, but I'm fairly certain Ford/Jaguar uses Windows and Linux. And as much as I love tech advances, I have mixed feelings about them in cars. When my new car doesnt start, I just head over to my '85 Pontiac with booster cables and a screwdriver and I'm up and running in 3 minutes. -ThinTheHerd
  • We're all thinking it. - The software gets to say what we're all thinking. [By: Stryker One / 2010-08-12]
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    The return of Clippy! - Looks like you can make Clippy be even more annoying as a prank to clueless people. (Clippy=the annoying paperclip that used to be in Office.) Anyone daring enough to install that and tick someone off? [By: tech4alltrades / 2010-08-05]
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  • Oh, that's cute! But the people I'd want to bug with this would just bug me back. :( -Tekkie
  • Oh, I can think of several people that are going to find that installed on their PCs next April 1st. -AmazingKreskin
  • hahaha! I love it! -AdmiralLaurie
  • I wonder if you could get a mac version... -cyberblade3001
  • What I wouldn't give to be able to install that on a couple of the Android based cell phones in my office... *BFEG* -unrenowned
  • Ohhhhh man. I know several people that I will give headaches with this! Grazie! -KrazerKap
  • in the worlds of Peter Griffin: "That is AWESOME!" -AlanSmithee
  • Happy SysAdmin's Day!! - Happy SysAdmin's day yall!!! [By: Armakuni / 2010-07-30]
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  • like my lusers are going to accknowledge it... -AdmiralLaurie
  • Thanks, Army! I'm an actual SysAdmin and I got nothin' from my boss, users or even my subordinates. As usual. -Tekkie
  • heheheh my user tried to give me a cigarette. I opted for a cup of joe and a slice of very good cheesecake. -AdmiralLaurie
  • forgive me AL, but exactly what are you a sysadmin of? -virusjtg
  • -virus: I am considered the sysadmin of the small network that I run, but I'm also the goto person if anything breaks, computer or otherwise. -AdmiralLaurie
  • Thanks much, Armakuni! I was worse off than Charlie Brown at Halloween - didn't even get a rock... -PTSTech
  • I'm not a SysAdmin now, but I know that I will most likely be in the future, yet I still feel appreciated a little today from this. Even if the 'fish don't. -KrazerKap
  • Klingon tourism - I always thought they were a bit strange up there. The Jenolen caves have added another language to the audio tour guides, Klingon! [By: AussieFoot / 2010-07-27]
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  • wejpuH. :) -Tekkie
  • Bless you. -Mer
  • Big butt pun, tech style - I wonder if the author reads TSC? [By: AussieFoot / 2010-07-15]
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  • Dang! I saw that and was going to throw it up here :( Beat me to it you did... -0gr3
  • My fiancee has tried to ban me from this site. I, however, look at it whilst she's not paying attention, which is most of the time when I'm on the putie and not looking at facebook. -PoglaTheGrate
  • VuvuzelaButton? - Has anyone noticed that Youtube has added a vuvuzela button to their videos? I was using it last night and giggling like a schoolgirl [By: PoglaTheGrate / 2010-06-24]
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  • Vuvuzela--the perfect dumbass klaxon horn. Anytime someone says something stupid, one of them should be sounded in response to the dumbass remark. Can you hear it in your mind? Bzraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap...... -vacuumtubes
  • Or if you need to have that on any particular website. http://www.vuvuzela-time.co.uk/ I am afeared of what would happen if you mixed the two. Would it both blow, and suck? -LDFeral
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXPPyjtw5WU -- I think this is a better use of it.. -NightSteel
  • i'm not seeing the button on youtube, did they get rid of it already? -razmann
  • ras its the soccer ball button on the right hand side of the video screen http://media2.myfoxdc.com//photo/2010/06/24/youtubevuvzela_20100624095517_640_480.JPG -starfishmagnet
  • Seems they done tooked it down they did :( -0gr3
  • i see it now. apparently they don't do it for all videos. not sure what videos they don't do it for, but it seems to be random, at least to me -razmann
  • I'd guess that YouTube is a batch of server farms, and the vvz button is a spot of private enterprise that has not migrated to all farms. Whether you get the button or not depends on which farm you're pulling the video from, I'd wager... which means that you can get it sometimes, and not on the same video other times. -chazz
  • I'm still seeing it on most videos, footie related or otherwise. -Chromatix
  • i seem to have a knack for finding related cartoons: http://www.thenoobcomic.com/index.php?pos=382 -Erictheblue
  • Or this one - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B2LPxggvqY&feature=player_embedded - that came up on Fark yesterday... -chazz
  • Freakin' amateurs... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KHFA6ZuFTE -unrenowned
  • I saw it just last night. Annoying, I will admit. -KrazerKap
  • M thru F - a Cheezburger production - LOL-office. [By: Mushroom / 2010-06-22]
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  • Nice, Mushy. I got nuthin' done all afternoon because of you. ;) -Tekkie
  • I Love the different letters they put in. I saw one today that was totally awesome. A wall of monitors and old towers. ^_^ -KrazerKap
  • Good one, love it! -PTSTech
  • This warmed my heart - Video of an eight month old deaf baby's cochlear implant activation, puts things into perspective when you are feeling shite [By: starfishmagnet / 2010-06-09]
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  • What a cutie. I miss holding a baby. -vacuumtubes
  • One of the little girls at my nursery has these implants. She had them fitted not that long ago. She is just learning to use them now but she is making good progress. It's amazing watching her develop. She is 4 now. If she had had them fitted at 8 months she would be well away now. -LadyLineswine
  • The pacifier falling out is just adorable. -AnneBWalsh
  • That's so heart wrecking (ina good way)! Even watching some of the adults hear for the first time made me tear up. Thanks for sharing that with us SFM! -RA
  • Unfortunately, there are those in the deaf community that would see this as a travesty -- they feel "They are trying to make us more like THEM!" It seems they want to stay deaf, and keep their culture pure. (I'm not joking about this -- I have never felt so discriminated against as when I attended a Deaf Expo with my wife, and was pretty much ignored or worse because I was not deaf!) Seriously, if I had the opportunity to be given a new sense that I hadn't had before, I'd jump on it -- even if I had to become a little Borgish to do so! -Captain Trips
  • 'Even if?' Especially! Zap! Pre-ow! Laser eyes and scanner-style head exploding here we come! On a more related note- the expression is amazing. -LDFeral
  • The infamous HP Tech Support Call - After a long absence, I had to upload the tech call where an HP customer wigs out and smashes his equipment with a hammer! [By: vacuumtubes / 2010-05-27]
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  • Ironically, this is the video where I received my first negative review! -vacuumtubes
  • I actually sat a few cubes down from the agent who took that call. It was a pretty interesting experience (the floor sup was actually on the phone with the police in the customer's area) -Bynar
  • This sounds like my Brother in law.. -beatmewithstick
  • I don't know if it's as funny as the Dell 'little girl' one, but always entertaining. My cousin had one where the guy holed his compy with a shotgun (whilst on the phone) after being asked 'what's wrong with it.' I guess the birdshot. Oddly, something about the warrnty covered it, I guess. <shrug> -LDFeral
  • I am frightened for the people in the store... But seriously props to the HP guy. -LazyLemming
  • I love the line "I always wondered what was in one of these things..." -0gr3
  • I have had no less than TWO customers claim to SHOOT their computers. Scary thing is, these people are out walking the streets... -udoshan
  • Was Elvis one of them? :-) -vacuumtubes
  • Thanks for my first laugh of the day. -THETECHFROMHELL
  • Hey slapnutz! Nobody is going to come out and clean up the glass; you are going to do it yourself! Holy sh*t!! He's crying on the phone?! Your options are, go outside, put the barrel in your mouth and get the heck out of the gene pool! -unrenowned
  • Dear $deity, why are people like this allowed to live? -unrenowned
  • OMG. I couldn't listen to more than the first little bit. That poor kid. -HackerMagnet
  • Words fail me. -linuxmatt
  • "Well. Is there anything else I can help you with today?" -Mushroom
  • Sorry, but immediately after he laid into the printer all attempts at empathy and call-flow are fucking OFF. I would have calmly told the shitcock that he's completely fucked himself, wished him a nice day and re-fucking-leased the call. If my sup would write me up, I'd laugh my arse off and pointed at my notes. -Seamus
  • "I've been up for three days trying to fix this..." Yeah, because amphetamine psychosis is the perfect frame of mind for performing analytical work. Go back to hanging drywall, Zippy. -MeanDean
  • I need to remember not to try to listen to anything posted on this site when my 8 yr old Autistic son is sitting next to me.... -jwinc7
  • Yeah, I can't say kudos to the tech, this has to be one of the best examples of failure to control the call. If they had acted properly and within guidelines, the guy might not even have trashed as much stuff as he did. He had a million chances to end the call but didn't. Not that it wasn't funny, in its own scary way. -AlanSmithee
  • The 2012 Olympics Mascot - is, apparently, a giant penis. [By: smellystudent / 2010-05-19]
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  • Why am I reminded of The Residents? -chazz
  • Wrong. So very, very wrong! WRONG ME!! WRONG ME!! er... sorry... I think I was channeling Burrkiss for a second. -unrenowned
  • Can't be the Residents, chazz - no top hats or tuxes! -SalParadise
  • Just continuing the trend.. http://currentconfig.com/images/ogc_flip.gif -NightSteel
  • All of a sudden, Springy the Springfield Spring seems a lot more plausible. -Trillian
  • When I saw them, I thought of binomials from Reboot. -evolvedstarfish
  • That seems sort of appropriate, since the 2012 logo is Lisa Simpson giveing a BJ: http://prismreptilerobot.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/2012_logo_white_385x450.jpg -rurwin
  • I thought they were in London in 2012, not Tokyo. -DarkRookie
  • So the Olympics will be played by the teletubbies then? I assume Barney will win the most annoying gold metal. Will we need to summon the power rangers? -Olorin
  • Those are the One Eyed Trouser Snake. I will admit, I have one stored away, but it AINT 6' tall. -burrkiss
  • You're just being modest, Burrkiss. Those costumes made me think of the Moon Mice from Worlds Fair '62. -Mushroom
  • I knew they looked familiar from somewhere; day of the tentacle anyone? http://archived.ryanjohnwilliams.com/v2.ryansgoblog.com/images/dottcosplay.jpg I guess they just put the tentacles in space suits and hoped no one would notice. -LDFeral
  • I think bad Power Ranger villans. -Phylok
  • Reminds me of the school mascot on "Community" - the human being -ActingUpAgain
  • I wonder if they'll get David Tenant to light the flame in 2012. -Stryker One
  • Stryker - surely you mean Matt Smith? And I thought they looked vaguely like the Aliens from the Simpsons... -Shaede
  • Ahhh! Sporn has infiltrated the olympics! -PeterGibons
  • No, I mean David Tenant. Make the episode Fear Her historically "accurate". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_Her -Stryker One
  • Tech Calls vol 3 - nuff said [By: vacuumtubes / 2010-05-18]
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  • Which ones are Riff? -exzyle2k
  • I'm on calls 1,3,5,6,8 and 9. Riff is on calls 2,4,and 7. -vacuumtubes
  • Sloppy Seconds!! I think I leaked a little on those last few calls I was laughing so hard! -unrenowned
  • Thanks for posting these I am always amused by them and have been patiently awaiting some fresh material -THETECHFROMHELL
  • Fucknuggets abound! -SalParadise
  • Fucknuggets keep us annoyed and employed -THETECHFROMHELL
  • AAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! - THIS is why you will find VT passed out drunk every evening, and me sitting at my computer typing, "All work and no play makes Riff a dull boy," over and over and over and over and over and over.... [By: RiffRaff / 2010-05-15]
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  • Bwahahah! Dancing with the Starfish!! -exzyle2k
  • I'm going to need more ammo. A lot more ammo. -virusjtg
  • Nuke it from orbit, just to be safe. -unrenowned
  • So then all of these starfish take the short bus to and from school. -THETECHFROMHELL
  • My god....it's full of tards. -vacuumtubes
  • Old school core dump - CD also has no wi-fi in her home (as Nightrain laments), it was only running out of cable that stopped me doing this :p [By: CommanderData / 2010-05-09]
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  • Doesn't everyone do that? I mean, if you have to install 100BT by the throne, that at least is a neat installation... though I think I would have used a weatherproof box, it gets humid in there. -chazz
  • If you're in the khazi long enough to suffer symptoms of net withdrawal, you have a problem! Either see a proctologist or a psychologist. (starfish of course can choose either specialist for either affliction due to cranio-rectal inversion) -AussieFoot
  • The explanation that it was in a hotel toilet made it click to me. Back in the 80's and 90's, before cell phones, many hotels had phones in the bathrooms for their business-related clientele. What's that, you say? "But it's an RJ-45 jack!" Just so -- many digital phones of the era did use 8-conductor silver satin cabling, thus needed the size of an RJ-45 jack, an RJ-11 just wouldn't cut it. (Of course, it could still be used for Internet - dial up was the latest and fastest thing then -- although very few had laptops then. -Captain Trips
  • I haven't gone that far yet..but I did pay my kids $20 each to run a cable under the house for me. -Starfury
  • Even better: http://thereifixedit.com/2010/05/05/epic-kludge-photo-more-power-igor/ -Stryker One
  • I can see the Ventrilo conversations now. "Okay melee's HRRNNGGHH off the boss. Mages HRRRNNGGGH nuke the adds." -LazyLemming
  • Inside an imploding stadium - "When the Dallas Cowboys blew up Texas Stadium this week—punting accident—they had the good sense to put in a 3D camera rig inside. Click and drag to move the camera around. And turn up the sound. Boom!" Saw this and thought it was pretty cool [By: starfishmagnet / 2010-05-06]
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  • and then the lights went out! -ecoli
  • That's freaking awesome. Nice link! -LazyLemming
  • Got to see the implosion live (online) from the outside, but that's even better. Still, that was a sad day in Irving... -MadJack
  • What it doesn't show is all the work of gutting/weakening the structure & the rigging of the explosives before the blow-down. That takes ages to do. -lineswine
  • What exactly happened? I'm confused! -AdmiralLaurie
  • w00t -virusjtg
  • They imploded the stadium to make clearing it out easier and put in a camera to record and share the event on the web. -spectreoflife
  • Seattle Hacker Catches Cops - I know this shows up on the latest Slashdot news stories, but I felt it was worth giving some extra attention to. I'd recommend reading the whole article as opposed to dismissing it with TL;DR. Anybody in the Seattle area hear anything more on this? I'd like to keep appraised of the situation and see what else Mr. Rachner manages to uncover. [By: AdeptusMechanis / 2010-04-23]
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  • Re: the comments - My god, it's full of sheeple! -Seamus
  • Heck, who needs Styrofoam? Come on down to Arizona, we'll arrest you for talking funny. -AngrySup
  • Why is this surprising? The cops ONLY want the video evidence when it helps them. Have you ever had a video camera in your car when you get pulled over? Your told to turn it off, and its illegal. Its illegal since they cannot erase the tape if it will harm their case. -burrkiss
  • My local force were just exonerated for beating a man to death, laughing. Official cause of death: cocaine toxicity. NOBODY has your back. -ThinTheHerd
  • Cops breaking the law, violating constitutional rights & then lying to cover their collective arses? Who'd a thunk? -lineswine
  • I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. Yes there are bad cops, but stop making it out like every cop is out with a vendetta against civil rights. 95+% of cops are people just doing a job, and like, sick and fucking tired of the losers they have to deal with. "Well I saw a cop do X" or "I've read about cops do Y". Yeah well I've read about a black man killing a liquor store owner, should I consider them all criminals? In the situation in link, the cop had every right to request ID, he was investigating what was originally an assault call involving a large group of intoxicated individuals. NOT, as most folks are saying, randomly stopping a person and demanding ID. As for the lie about the video, that's wrong and disciplinary action should be taken against the officers involved in denial of the video. But it's also not actually a common occurence for the video to "magically disappear", so stop making it out like it is. -LazyLemming
  • I question your math. My lawyer and my parole officer agree that more than 95% are bad. The good ones quit, or get real jobs. I have had dozens of dealings with 6 different forces. They were all the same. Nothing- NOTHING any one can say will change my mind. I have scars to back up my claims. What do you have? A warm fuzzy safe feeling? It's just an illusion. Swap the kevlar vests for denim H.A. colors. Same shit. -ThinTheHerd
  • Lazy Lemming - You say "the cop had every right to request ID", but he guy had every right to refuse. That is NOT a crime & so cannot be arrested for it. (That's pretty much the crux of the whole matter. The subsequent cover-up just highlights how the shitty coppers get away with hiding behind their uniforms) -lineswine
  • Probably no surprise here, but I'm coming down on LazyLemming's side. I've known many, many, good officers, and I've also seen their frustration when one of their fellow officers is doing something stupid, and they are also painted with the same broad brush as the idiots who abused their position. Yes, there are many bad cops if you take it in total. However, according to the information I just googled, between federal, state, municipal, and other sworn positions, such as university police, there are over 800,000 police officers in the United States. What percentage of cops are bad? More than zero, but nowhere near 95%! The news today regarding the Arizona immigration law changes include one of the first lawsuits being filed coming from a Phoenix, AZ police officer, on the grounds that the politicians made the law too vague, and it doesn't give officers proper grounds to be able to make legitimate cases without leaving allegations of discrimination. And, one of the most vocal opponents to the new law in the last day has been the police chief of Phoenix. Not exactly the expected reactions of a bunch of people who are only out to exert power over a bunch of innocent citizens! If your only experience with police officers has been as negative as you've described, then I do apologize for the fact that you haven't had a chance to know the good ones. -Voz
  • LS- as the officer is investigating an incident, yes, you are entitled to refuse to show identification. However, if there is probable cause, it gives them the right to detain you until they can establish your identity to assure that they can locate you again if you were involved in the crime. Is a specific charge for a failure to identify yourself entirely legal? Probably not. Do you have to file such a charge to detain someone for investigating the crime? Not usually. -Voz
  • Sometimes even the good cops are bad: http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=5185711 I knew this officer from my time as a convenience store clerk, years before the events at Trolley Square where his heroic actions -off-duty and outside of his jurisdiction- saved lives. -OgdenTechGuy
  • Anybody else in this same boat? - I'm not a sys admin, but... [By: Stryker One / 2010-04-17]
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  • Here's what's scary -- I follow the link, and scrolling down, what do I see on the left but an ad for my company! "Yes, you too can join and pay only $20 to lose 20 pounds in ten weeks!" (We make our profit on the food!) -Captain Trips
  • Same issue here, but imma help desk jockey -DarkRookie
  • Captain Trips - You see ads? -Divinar
  • Divinar - I thought the exact same thing... -VWFtech
  • We should form a support group or something. -desseb
  • Yes, I do. Just tried again, and it's a Ford Trucks ad. -Captain Trips
  • Divinar, VWFTech: I deliberately have not installed any ad blockers, because I know that for a lot of people, the ad revenue is the only way they keep their site alive, and it's real easy to ignore most ads... it's a cheap way to help them pay for it. -chazz
  • Wow. That's much more altruistic than me. I just like looking at the bright lights and flashing colours. -LDFeral
  • Well, that too, LDFeral... -chazz
  • How CD does tech support (NSFW) - Gentlemen, you may start your engines :p [By: CommanderData / 2010-04-12]
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  • I'm about as fully dressed when I'm doing any maintenance on my systems. Of course, pink is not my colour. (I see a hint of side boob!) -teivrann
  • She's got a bra on, T. Leave your's in the wash? ;) -LDFeral
  • CD, if that's you, I regret not living in the UK! ;) -AussieFoot
  • Now THAT would be an on-site tech I'd like to see. -Stryker One
  • That can't be CD. The hair is wrong. -chazz
  • No boots.... no leather... no whip.... That's not the CD *I* know and love.. *bfeg* -RiffRaff
  • Lucky Fuzzyom! (Even if *that* picture isn't he actual CD, his wife posts it for our amusement!) -Divinar
  • funny, i was wearing that exact same outfit this morning while fixing my computer... -razmann
  • Me too! -Bioguy
  • "I hate it when I get a nipple caught in the chip fan. Ergo the bra." -Mushroom
  • Chip is not a fan either. -Chipsterian
  • Hot chick leaning over a Mac Pro. Porn for geeks at it's finest. -linkv
  • This is not Sparta! - Students trying to live the life of Roman gladiators. No girlfriends, showers or washing machines allowed. Without the showers and washing machines I think the girlfriends would be quite happy not to see their guys until the experiment is over. [By: AussieFoot / 2010-03-31]
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  • read about that... Funny I'd like to do it. -Hellion
  • doesn't sound any more difficult than boot camp -Hellion
  • Do they realize that Romans also played the field... often... -unrenowned
  • Do they realize that Romans also played the field... often... -unrenowned
  • Bloody double-post key... -unrenowned
  • Gladiators had luxurious baths and rubdowns with oil, though. Also, you can wash clothes quite adequately in a washtub. People have been using washtubs for thousands of years before the invention of washing machines. -pixel
  • But are rich women gonna pay to have sex with them???? (just like the gladiators) -duckhead
  • Et Tu Brute? -Biosynthetic
  • myth busters and thermite - because thermite and mythbusters just kick ass. [By: virusjtg / 2010-03-19]
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  • And the best part about thermite is you can make it yourself from stuff in your local scrapyard. -exzyle2k
  • Aluminum and iron oxide, IIRC. -Seamus
  • Yup... So basically it's made out of gutters and rust. -exzyle2k
  • Or Hindenburg paint. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEQ6xvjvvE0 -AnneBWalsh
  • The best one is where thermite is sitting on blocks of ice. Result BOOOM! -Wraith556
  • There was a british show that did this a few years ago. I never get tired of seeing this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdCsbZf1_Ng&mode=related&search= -LDFeral
  • You know LD, that may be my new favorite link EVER! -virusjtg
  • Mythbusters - Same episode, thermite vs ice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw1xhRt9GvU -redevil34
  • See... This is the stuff we need to broadcast into space... Not some 70s poetry or music... Make the aliens WANT to come here. 'Cause let's face it, explosions and fireballs are friends to all. -exzyle2k
  • I like that, but my favorite is always going to be is when they made a cement truck DISAPPEAR. -DarkRookie
  • Tiny Ship - Wow, they are either really talented or really bored scientists. [By: RoadDemon / 2010-03-17]
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  • Likely both. -Seamus
  • On a related note http://itmademyday.com/2010/03/15/funny-win-story-peka/ -AussieFoot
  • Yeah. Both -DarkRookie
  • Watch out for fake Intel i7s! - Newegg got duped by some very convincing and well-executed fakes. These boxes look 100% legit even compared side by side with the real ones, save for few tiny, tiny typos. Rumor has it the guys who made these fakes are probably dumping more fakes on other retailers. [By: linuxmatt / 2010-03-09]
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  • According to the consumerist, link here http://consumerist.com/2010/03/newegg-drops-supplier-after-selling-fake-intel-processors.html Newegg is fully aware of the issue and has both dropped the supplier of the phony procs and contacted anyone potentially affected by the mix up. Way to go Newegg. -AdeptusMechanis
  • Whoops, not sure why I posted the link again. xD I haven't slept since Sunday night so I apologize for stupidly posting already available information. -AdeptusMechanis
  • WTF? Dropping their supplier? Shouldn't their 1 supplier be Intel? -Stryker One
  • Other people have said the same thing... but in fact, no. NewEgg, big as they are, order in 1000- and 2000-chip lots, Intel likes to ship in hundreds of thousands. If you work out the math, 2000 processors is like one pallet. Intel would prefer to ship a 40-foot container. -chazz
  • Ubisoft DRM Crack. - I find this amusing. I thought it would last a month at least. Guess I was wrong, but in less than a day. [By: DarkRookie / 2010-03-05]
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  • The more you tighten your grip, Ubisoft, the more gamers will slip through your fingers. -RiffRaff
  • And THAT, my friends, is why I don't touch anything by UbiSoft. -udoshan
  • Oh, it's worse than that. On March 7, the authentication servers went down. So now people who use the games legally couldn't play it. The only ones who could play were the one who cracked it. -MisterCommon
  • idiot steels wifi - An idiot woman steels wifi and then calls in when it disappears. [By: virusjtg / 2010-03-02]
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  • The comments totally make this thread amusing. You know PA really hit the nail on the head with their GIFT theory. http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/ -AdeptusMechanis
  • I'm of two minds about this (and I don't use/steal WiFi). On one hand, using a connection without permission is in fact stealing but on the other, unwittingly leaving your connection open is (unlike an unlocked door) BEGGING for a wardriver. Secure your fscking network! If you're deliberately leaving it open, name your gateway accordingly. -Seamus
  • After a year and a half of emailing over unsecure wi-fi behind her 'secured' firewall, maybe she'll get a stupid tax in the form of a hacked bank account. -teivrann
  • After being accused by a jerkass that I was stealing his internet connection, to the point he called the police, I am not very charitable to leachers. The cops came, took one look at my network setup, realised I had NO wireless capable network equipment and even checked the cable from the modem, to the splitter/filter, and to the wall jack. The cops went to his door and told him that it wasn't me stealing hit internet service because I had no equipment capable of doing so, and he should take steps to secure his network. -Wraith556
  • I used to get nuggets that complained to me about it all the time. Said neighbor cuts the connection, luser comes to visit me at the store, luser bitches at my boss about me not telling them how to get past neighbor's encryption/password... But the good part was where said boss would loudly (I mean LOUD with a capital L) announce that they were stealing and it was illegal. Nothing like watching a nugget run!! -unrenowned
  • My mind has finally summed up the argument that has been bothering me all day: People keep comparing unsecured WiFi to leaving your door unlocked. This is incorrect. An unsecured WiFi network is the network equivalent handing copies of your housekey to anyone and everyone who comes within a 5-mile radius of you. -Seamus
  • Seamus is correct. Someone has to try your door to know that it is unlocked. If you personally hand him the key, he knows it. My computer shows me that you have given it the key to your door when I am simply trying to open my own. -chazz
  • For my 2 cents, the unsecured wifi is actually broadcasting into the other locations. Stretching the analogy a bit too far, it's as if he said "Let me hand you my unlocked house". -MisterCommon
  • A friend of mine has a wireless network and until I went over one day and secured it, her neighbour had been leeching it. 20 minutes after I secured it there was a knock on the door from her neighbour complaining that she had shut off 'his' internet and he needed it back NOW because his children had homework to do. I told him to buy his own internet service. -CommanderData
  • While I don't think that someone should depend on a neighbor's wireless like that, I don't have a problem with borrowing access... Whenever I travel and don't have internet for whatever reason I'll go wardriving and check email and such. I used a neighbor's wireless for a few days last time I moved as well, until I got my wireless set up. My setup has SSID broadcast off, and WPA2. My parents have open wifi in their home, knowing that people will sometimes borrow it (my dad was/is a sysadmin as well). Anyways a year and a half I have issues with-the principle? Not so much. -cyberblade3001
  • Does that mean in the U.S. Internet download/upload rates are typically unlimited? In Australia, you get a certain allocation per month (depending on your plan), and then either charged extra for any excess, or your bandwidth is severely limited until the next billing month. Leaching is theft in Australia, pure and simple. They are using up the resources that you are paying for, and potentially forcing you over your limit and then paying exorbitant excess fees. I'm not saying "Don't secure your network", but if you find a wallet in the street (not under lock and key) with 10x $10 bills in it, are you allowed to take one of the bills because you're leaving the wallet behind, and MOST of what's left inside? -JohnAdriaan
  • It depends on your ISP and state. Where I live and with my ISP I pay one rate for all the data I want. -virusjtg
  • Does that mean in the U.S. Internet download/upload rates are typically unlimited? In Australia, you get a certain allocation per month (depending on your plan), and then either charged extra for any excess, or your bandwidth is severely limited until the next billing month. Leaching is theft in Australia, pure and simple. They are using up the resources that you are paying for, and potentially forcing you over your limit and then paying exorbitant excess fees. I'm not saying "Don't secure your network", but if you find a wallet in the street (not under lock and key) with 10x $10 bills in it, are you allowed to take one of the bills because you're leaving the wallet behind, and MOST of what's left inside? -JohnAdriaan
  • Actually, the "unlocked house" analogy is pretty good - when you take into account that leaving a house unlocked does not remove the criminality of theft from said house! (In other words, just because my house is unlocked does NOT mean it's okay for you to come in and take what you want. Taking an item without permission, whether or not said item is secured, is still theft. Using a Wi-Fi connection without permission is still theft, by the same analogy! -Captain Trips
  • Not too put too fine a point on it. By law, using some one else's wifi connection, secured or not, with out their expressed consent, is a crime. At least according to the FCC. That stated, you can debate all day long about the stupid tax, I'm not expressing an opinion there one way or another. If you have seen some of my LARTes you know where I fall, but as of this moment I make no comment there. -virusjtg
  • JohnAdriaan: not unlimited, but very high. Here in this corner of Canada, I am nominally capped at 60GB/month... but that seems to be the point at which limiters, not overdraft fees, kick in. -chazz
  • JA- broadband services in the US are typically marketed as unlimited, but some ISPs are "testing" (trying to see if there's not too big of an outcry about it) caps on individual connections. -BayouTech
  • From what I understand, there's a big difference between CAN/US laws on this, due to previous broadcasting laws. Canuck law sez: if it goes past your property line- it ain't your property no more. Same goes for cattle, unless you can secure it again. Yankee law sez: You kids get the 'f' off my lawn. -LDFeral
  • I also take the viewpoint that yeah, stealing a wi-fi signal from an unsecured home router is still theft of services, but if you're stupid enough to fail to secure the router, you deserve what happens. That having been said, if you're dumb enough to steal a wi-fi signal and it gets secured, don't go crying about it, it just makes the "L" on your forehead all that much more visible to everyone. *gryn* -VoiceOfSanity
  • The brits get something right - Makes a change :P [By: starfishmagnet / 2010-02-26]
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  • Hehehe... Unfortunately, there are fishies who will complain to their ISP that they haven't received this questionnaire yet, and are wondering if they can take a picture of it, get it developed, scan it onto their computer to email to the ISP to get their license. -exzyle2k
  • This is a good first step. Now if they could only tie this in with breeding licenses, and anyone who fails is automatically sterilized - could make a good start at cleaning up the gene pool. -PCRaevyn
  • Pretty good idea - the virtual equivalent of "You must be this smart to use the internet." However, this may just consolidate all the phishing attacks into a single type. "Your internet licence is about to expire! Please click on this link: thereal.gov.uk.really.notascam.net/passwordcollector.cgi?dumbassid=nhCEO78o"... -teivrann
  • oh how I prayed that this was real... -Tarantulus
  • The cow goes moo. The Otis goes... - I don't know if I'd "hit it" per-say... [By: Stryker One / 2010-02-22]
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  • OMG I didn't realize that cow lives in MY state. EWWW I mean MOOOO -THETECHFROMHELL
  • So much trash, so little time. -vacuumtubes
  • You know, I would hit that, with an axe. -ZombieBear
  • I don't think I would... it might splash, I might get some on me. "The stupid, it burns..." -chazz
  • See, the misconception is that the S was supposed to be at the beginning of the word.... the problem is that OTIS only delivered one TINK, not multiple. -Grembo
  • ... at Wal-Mart, none the less -srteach
  • Awesome & Spooky All At The Same Time - Script to make Ubuntu Linux look like Windows XP. I've run it on a test system, and it is amazing. One of the best possibilities of converting someone to Linux I've ever seen. [By: RiffRaff / 2010-02-17]
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  • Not sure myself, I've had the sterotyped OAP granny pottering around in regular Gnome with no real issue. They're usually more receptive to an alternative once XP's blown up in their faces a few times though I'll grant you. -fearmyroot
  • I actually have this exact same thing running on my laptop, which is being used as my parent's machine right now. There are a few twitches on it, but overall it's suiting their needs just fine. Now, if only that had a kewpie doll theme, I know someone who'd be all over that. -exzyle2k
  • Can you say Bullshit Artist? - And of course, it requires, a BS degree. [By: Stryker One / 2010-02-16]
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  • Terminologist? It's that also called a "Thesaurus" ??... -unrenowned
  • Surprised it doesn't say "Candidates must show exemplitude in wordification"... -Diptera
  • Doesn't seem like a very cromulent position to me... -teivrann
  • looking at the posting its not a job in BS, its a job at doing bitch work in 2+ languages. -ZombieBear
  • facetard hilarity - Read the comments [By: ThinTheHerd / 2010-02-13]
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  • "By March, Facebook will be out of business, and RWW will have 400 million users. You'll have to build a datacenter just to host this comment thread" It's going viral. -ThinTheHerd
  • Sweet mother of all that's holy, those comments are the vast majority of facebook users. 400 million starfish are on their computers, with internet access everyday, doing shit like this. I almost want to cry, if you need me I'll be in the LART shelter, drinking heavily. -AdeptusMechanis
  • Interesting article on it... http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2010/02/12/google_de_facto_internet_gateway/ It's scary how much control google has, and how stupid people are... Though neither of those are new fears. -cyberblade3001
  • I cannot understand how people can't understand looking for something. Yes it's changed but when I see a site layout's been changed I take the time to look around and explore it! I don't suddenly start bitching that I don't know how to use it! -AdmiralLaurie
  • So, I only got onto facebook recently, and it changed soon afterward. So what? The only constant in life is change. (Except for this site - Hawk knows we don't need more bells and whistles! And if he gives them to us, he also welcomes feedback!) -Captain Trips
  • Actually, it seems that the FB webmaster(s) just change the interface/layout once a month or so simply to justify their jearb. It changed about four weeks ago or so, then as soon as we got used to it, this latest change came in. No, really. the new layout SUCKS. While I'm sure there's still a method to omit the myriad "[$name] has [$achievement] in [$FBGame]" updates, I haven't found where they hid that setting this time. -Seamus
  • That is, however, not the point. The point is that people are so stupid that they don't recognize the difference between Facebook itself, and an article about Facebook, and complain in the comments because they can't log in to the article. -chazz
  • Actually, maybe, thinking about it, that is sort of the point... could it be the repeated FB redesigns that is addling the poor fishies' handful of neurons to the point that they can no longer tell the difference? -chazz
  • Okay, it's time for a car analogy. If I were driving to Wal-Mart, and on the way there was a detour (not my fault), and somehow I wound up at Borders, then even if there was a book about Wal-Mart on the bestsellers table, I still wouldn't complain about how Wal-Mart reorganized everything and why can't I use my Wal-Mart credit card. -concept14
  • These poor people can only count to Snow Pea and that's if they take a Annex course. -Biosynthetic
  • For for the Star Wars fans - Steady, Chewie! [By: lineswine / 2010-02-12]
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  • Yeesh! Such language! I mean really, what do Wookiees know about tentacle rape anime anyway? -Biosynthetic
  • You'd be surprised... -Captain Trips
  • 1st comment on this link was about a wookie's porn viewing habits. Is this some sorta weird appendage to Rule 34? -AdeptusMechanis
  • Rule 34 is all about appendages. -Calydor
  • Printers in a nutshell - Not much to say here. The Oatmeal has described printers perfectly, this guy deserves a medal for putting into words and pictures how we all feel about printers. [By: AdeptusMechanis / 2010-02-10]
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  • nice! -rosemetal
  • I hate printers... so much... flames, flames around my head.... -linkv
  • Laptop + Battery Malfunction - We've all heard about the recent Dell laptops having problems with their batteries overheating and catching on fire. So PC Pitstop has put together this demonstration showing what happens when a battery overheats. It's so bad it requires a class 4 fire extinguisher to put out. NOw imagine if you had that resting on your lap. Warning: Do not watch this vid if you ever use a laptop on or near your person. [By: AdeptusMechanis / 2010-01-27]
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  • What? Again? I remember when I had to deal with... I mean when my FRIEND had to deal with the flood of people calling in trying (because they regularly slaughtered the english language) to find out if their compy was going to melt. -LDFeral
  • They had to overload the battery (probably short it) in order to start the reaction. Lithium boils at 2448F. -srteach
  • This video isn't recent, it's from 2006... -JoeLugian
  • Computer over. Fires = very yes. -teivrann
  • It seems I was misled about the date of the video, the Dell laptop battery issue however is more recent. -AdeptusMechanis
  • I recently had a Gateway laptop fry. The battery had not been charged in a while, then fully charged and the laptop was turned off. About 4 hours later there was a hint of scorched pan, I checked the stove first! Then a wisp of smoke, I took it outside and watched as the battery melted and started glowing. I was able to remove it from the laptop before too much damage. I left the battery out in the rain for a couple of days to be sure. Lithium is pretty energetic! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • the issue wasn't just with dells, but with certain Sony batteries sold to other pc mfrs. dell was simply the first one to admit it and implement a recall. -goblin69
  • Good concept and it appears to work - Ever want to definitively prove to your mom/friend/clueless total stranger that awesomegame.zip file they downloaded is pure digital evil? Upload it to this site and it will run a gauntlet of 41 different antivirus and antimalware apps on it. Once Virustotal has analyzed your file, it'll spit back a detailed results page showing you what virus/malware scanners flagged the file, if any, and what exactly it is they were reported to have found. You can save the URL of this report for future viewing. [By: AdeptusMechanis / 2010-01-24]
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  • Nice! -beatmewithstick
  • AM: I took the liberty of adding the link to the sticky list of tools (with credit to you). -ThinTheHerd
  • Hey Thanks TTH, I didn't even thnk of posting it there. -AdeptusMechanis
  • o_O - I can't stop laughing. (SFW, audio required, sort of) [By: ThinTheHerd / 2010-01-15]
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  • Tuts My BarrEEHH! -SpiderRider3
  • Ken Lee Bulgarian Idol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RgL2MKfWTo *snirk* -Dr Jerkyl
  • ... -RiffRaff
  • I thought the girl singing phonetically was bad. Then I found the original. The Korean lady was more amusing. -Divinar
  • Not as good as the French Erotic Film http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbFjELbqnh4 (As SFW as the first) -Divinar
  • Pass the bleach? -unrenowned
  • Attention: Would someone PLEASE take the corncob out of the poor cat's ass? Thank you!! -vacuumtubes
  • Nobody can hold a candle to Wing. http://www.wingmusic.co.nz/ I am not responsible for any bleeding from the ears you may suffer if you choose to listen to the samples. In the spirit of offering Mr Creosote a wafer-thin mint, might I suggest "Wing sings AC/DC"? http://www.wingmusic.co.nz/player/cd13.html -SalParadise
  • I paused techno for this? -ZombieBear
  • I am under the impression, after watching music evolve over the years, that our kid's kid's kids will be dancing (or having a fit on the floor foaming at the mouth) to the tune of 4 or more people bashing trash cans together while the lead singer screams relentlessly into the mic until the streaming spit makes an electrical connection to their mouth. Granted that's a worst-case scenario, it could just be localized to just the future version of Punk Rock. -Biosynthetic
  • Bio, they have that now... Ever hear "Lamb of God"? -exzyle2k
  • Strangely enough bio, looking at the avant guard music coming out it looks like the 20's and the 60's got drunk and have a love child they both want to ignore. -ZombieBear
  • I knew it! - I knew this had to happen eventually :) We'll see how this reboot pans out [By: elcapitane / 2010-01-13]
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  • I just finished burning season 1 of the original series a few hours ago. Freaky. -ThinTheHerd
  • Liek all of us who saw the series on TV back in the day, I have my doubts. (I also heard Mr. T. was involved with the writing, but it's not in the IMBD credits. You'da thunk he'd learn from Sly writing 'Rocky Balboa' (and listing to Weird Al while he was writing it, at that ;P) -MadJack
  • From my understanding UFC President Dana White was truly livid with Rampage Jackson, because Jackson was set for a big PPV fight, and pulled out of it at the last second to do this movie. White all but cursed him out the last time they talked. -elcapitane
  • This video has been deleted by the original uploader. -MasterOfNone
  • *shrugs* It doesn't have Mr. T. -unrenowned
  • That's cuz Mr. T is now a "Night Elf Mohawk..." :-| -vacuumtubes
  • Still here http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi14943257/ -Divinar
  • Try this one: http://www.nukethefridge.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2508:new-a-team-trailer-does-not-ntf&catid=17:trailers-and-videos&Itemid=44 -Biosynthetic
  • Dumbest. Idea. Ever. -BarmanVarn
  • Liam Neeson looks to do well as Hannable, but Quinton Jackson is a fail B.A. Course anyone not Mr. T is a fail B.A., but Jackson's pretty shitty, he doesn't seem to have any flair like Mr. T did that made it fun. -LazyLemming
  • Logical Argument for Critical Thinking - This video is perhaps the best logical argument for critical thinking and the difference between open-minded and closed-minded. [By: RiffRaff / 2010-01-03]
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  • Crazy people ask me if I believe in UFOs. "Of course", I answer. They jump to the conclusion that I believe the same thing they do. "What does UFO stand for?" I ask. "Unidentified..." - "Stop right there. I believe they are Unidentified." -Gerund
  • This is a double-egded sword IMHO. I, a believer in the supernatural (up to a point) would be classified as "Close-Minded, according to the Narrator, despite being open to consider skepticism. One who does NOT believe in the Supernatural is not "Close-Minded" until he/she declares such view-points as nonsense. I guess what I'm TRYING to say is, Open-Mindedness is a TWO way Street; believe in what you think is right, BUT always consider the possibilty that you could be wrong. -udoshan
  • The narrator does indicate more than once that re-evaluating your beliefs when presented with new evidence is key to being open-minded. For instance, my stance on supernatural ranges from neutral to disbelief. However, should science ever come up with a method of detecting "ghosts" or some other form of spiritual presence, I wouldn't disregard that. -RiffRaff
  • I use that all the time. "What's that ?" "Where?" "Up in the sky" "I don't know. It's up in the air, I can see it, and I don't know what it is. It is therefore, technically, a UFO." -Spyder19
  • I've known a few people who thought that having relatives with a different skin color or neighbors from another religion made them "accepting" and "open-minded", yet these same people were as closed-minded as could be if it came to differing ideas. A lot of people never grow out of the stage where disagreeing with someone's idea equates to disagreeing with their very existence. -linkv
  • You're just wrong!!! -boxxertrumps
  • You're just wrong!!! -boxxertrumps
  • Catharsis Theater--Daddy's Curses - Every time something fell apart at my Mom's house, I took solace in this recording. It could easily be adapted to coping with clueless fucknuggets who can't right-click their way out of a colostomy bag. [By: vacuumtubes / 2009-12-30]
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  • BTW, if you read thru it, you'll know it's NSFW. -vacuumtubes
  • Wow. A litte schizophrenic there. "F*cking piece of sh*t! Gosh darn it!" "Gosh Dammit". Sir, step away from the coffee pot, NOW! -Grembo
  • I think the best line in there was "Bullshit. Double bullshit!" -exzyle2k
  • "Well, double dumbass on you!" </oblig.> -teivrann
  • So familiar. Sounds like my maternal grandpa. Every time without fail when installing or fixing something he would cuss it out, throw things, lose what he'd thrown and invariably it'd be important! and then finally get it put togetherr. -AdmiralLaurie
  • This is what I imagine is going on while my various engineers (Telecom, network, web) are on mute and 'working the problem'. -AngrySup
  • uh, VT, you wouldn't WANT someone to click their way out of a colostomy bag -- you don't want ANYTHING getting out of one. If you'd ever smelled it, you'd agree. (My brother has had one for the past 30 years. And you thought SHIT stunk bad?) -Captain Trips
  • My father swears more than that just having his morning pee. -ThinTheHerd
  • TTH: don't they have a pill for that?? -unrenowned
  • Did anyone else think of "A Christmas Story" while listening to this? The various times Darrin McGavin went into the basement to do battle with the furnace. Almost like the Director's Cut. -exzyle2k
  • It's official! -

    I don't even know where to start with this one...

    [By: Gromit / 2009-12-28]
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  • If this were done in the US, there would still be some self-important harpy who took up two spots. -NightSteel
  • I've been noticing this common misconception that 1 meter = 3ft. A meter != a yard. -Seamus
  • A meter is 3 feet 3 (and almost 3/8) inches. Due to the inexactitude of the conversion many people convert one meter into 3 feet to simplify it for those among us who do not use the metric system. Many of the starfish we deal with on a daily basis don't even know what a ruler is but most of them see yard sticks in various retail establishments. It is meant to give them the general idea of the distance of a meter. -Olorin
  • Its close since 1 meter ≈ 3.28 ft -Zod
  • If this were even proposed in the US, some cuntnugget would sue under charges of sexism or discrimination. Hamburgers and Lawsuits, they're the American Way.... -vacuumtubes
  • If this bill were drawn up anywhere in the western hemisphere, the ink wouldn't even have time to dry before someone would be out picketing for equality between genders, or suing for being discriminated against. Wouldn't matter whether it was Canada or America. -AdeptusMechanis
  • Right! that seems to significantly cut down on the available parking spaces in said lot. soo more parking lots needed? frak.. if you can't park just have the lot attendant do it for you! there! more jobs created! -Harm
  • People in the US can't park properly regardless of gender. That's why I park as far out as possible, and in an end spot where possible, so some asshat doesn't ding my truck because they don't know how to park and leave themselves enough room to get out. Also, 1 meter = 1 yard for estimation purposes. It's not exact, but it's close enough for government work. -RiffRaff
  • Thank you know who for my handicapped permit. My 3 year old car is almost undinged. -atomicbill
  • Posted by Grue, via Fark in #tsc - The text is NSFW, but DAMN, the brother LART from HELL. One of the best cases of "all is known" I've ever seen. [By: virusjtg / 2009-12-23]
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    Posted via Fark in #tsc - The text is NSFW, but DAMN, the brother LART from HELL. One of the best cases of "all is known" I've ever seen. [By: virusjtg / 2009-12-23]
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  • Oh. My. Gawd. </Janice> -Divinar
  • This is perhaps the most epic sibling LART I've ever seen. I must have posted it in the break room around the same time it got posted here. The comments are comedy gold.. -NightSteel
  • "That's no moon, that's payback. Betch!" -teivrann
  • buhwhahahahhha! lmao! thoroughly richer than goose liver... -AdmiralLaurie
  • Man, that is so, just.. Wow. I wonder how much universal karma got used up to produce an epic LART like that? But damn if that wasn't awesome. -AdeptusMechanis
  • This is exactly why you should never trust siblings... :) -Diptera
  • Epic LART FTW -elcapitane
  • That last line in the comments, what a great sig it'd be: "I love Facebook as much as you love cock." LOL! -vacuumtubes
  • She should have thought about it BEFORE dobbing in her brother. Tough shit, 'cos what goes around, comes around. -lineswine
  • More fun on the shooting range - A couple of weeks back I posted a vid of a server getting shot by various firearms. And now we have this. How many hard drives would it take to stop a .50 cal bullet? Nothing says fun AND educational like computers+firearms. [By: AdeptusMechanis / 2009-12-14]
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  • I know from personal experience that a .45 when directly contacting a 60GB HDD will launch the HDD 15' feet (5 meters UKers) That was a interesting way to prove equal and opposite reactions. -burrkiss
  • Burr that's transfer of kinetic energy, you know like the bouncing balls on a string... -Dr Jerkyl
  • ahh AM you allways find us the best violence happening to computers. -ZombieBear
  • If a hard drive is gonna die, it might as well go out in a blaze of bullet riddled glory. -AdeptusMechanis
  • So why hasn't BlindTech chimed in on this or at least taken a couple of shots himself ? <GRIN> -Necros
  • ...why are my staff hiding all the spare hard drives after seeing this? -CommanderData
  • More fun on the shooting range - A couple of weeks back I posted a vid of a server getting shot by various firearms. And now we have this. How many hard drives would it take to stop a .50 cal bullet? Watch the vid for the answer. [By: AdeptusMechanis / 2009-12-08]
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    WTF are Disney on? - Apparently out of all the towns in the UK, Disney selects Swindon to be twinned with Disney World. I'd love to see the room when that decision was made [By: CommanderData / 2009-12-08]
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  • I've never been to Swindon, but have been to London and Gloucester (Stayed at the Puckrup Hall Hotel in Tewkesbury and Park Lane Hotel on Piccadilly). England is a beautiful country, I can't wait to see it again.... Do you think this Reg article is real? -JoeLugian
  • Um, yeah....You're going to need to explain the joke to the rest of us across the pond. -BarmanVarn
  • I *have* been to Swindon, and other than a Chinese restaurant that served the best Peking duck I've ever had, there's not much to recommend it. There's only 2 good things that have ever come out of Swindon: the band XTC and Billie Piper. If the 2 guys in XTC didn't still live there, I'd say it could be paved over and nobody would miss it. -SalParadise
  • CD, aren't you from there? that's enough to recommend it right there! *starts running* -AdmiralLaurie
  • I agree. It needs a sign outside of town. "Welcome to Swindon. Home of CD and ZGB." -teivrann
  • Yum... Billie Piper... /me goes to his happy place. -TechnoTherapist
  • For our US chums - Swindon is a town in the UK with almost zero charm or character. -CommanderData
  • Which is why CD was uniquely able to come up with the concept of ZGB... after living in Swindon, nothing is unthinkable. (/me dashes off to LART shelter) -chazz
  • Been a while since being stationed UK. Swindon alsohas a crazy indoor water park to if I remember correctly. Shrugs. -StarFishHearder
  • Yum... Billie Piper... /me goes to his happy place. -TechnoTherapist
  • Yum... Billie Piper... /me goes to his happy place. -TechnoTherapist
  • What in the name of Edsel Ford is that traffic monstrosity? All I can hear now is "Look kids Big Ben, Parliament!" -edventure
  • I think the chaps at disney got confused when they asked for an opinion of swindon and got told "it's full of muppets and has a magic roundabout" -Tarantulus
  • What sort of bullshit PR swindle pulled this off? -Seamus
  • El Reg dirty PC pictures - The Register has published some pictures of PCs that have accumulated... dust, and stuff... to almost rival some of the horrible things we've seen elsewhere. 6 pages, but my favorite is the last... [By: chazz / 2009-12-04]
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  • I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. /Ripley -AdeptusMechanis
  • I wish I'd taken pics of mine when I opened it for the first time since owning it. It was absolutely abominable! -AdmiralLaurie
  • Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do... -exzyle2k
  • wow those need a literal nuke and pave. -ZombieBear
  • I'm suddenly feeling the urge to go clean my system out. It accumulates large clods of dust really quickly because it moves a LOT of air through it. I may have to take some pictures as evidence... -teivrann
  • Seems if you could get the air velocity high enough, dust wouldn't be able to accumulate. http://www.dresser-rand.com/PortableVentilators/ventair.asp -Stryker One
  • StrykerOne's fan looks like it would blow the chips right off the mainboard. Or embed the dust into the epoxy... -chazz
  • ...or blow the 1's and 0's apart! -Voz
  • I put up a picture of perhaps the dirtiest keyboard anyobody's ever seen. The lady who used this keyboard was a case study in what not to do, both personally and hygenically. I'd be surprised if she was under 400 pounds, and in a desk that can best be described as damn near condemnable, she had over 25 64-ounce containers of food, in various percentages of emptiness. She ate constantly even her boss refused to go near her desk, it was so filthy. One inident that made me throw up a little involved her popping open a new Family Size bag of Doritos, shoveling them in by the handful, then proclaiming she was going to Wendy's for lunch because she was "starving." And yet she wonderd why her keyboard & mouse refused to work. Probably because of how much food was clogged into it. -elcapitane
  • My mother is a trust officer who used to have to go to client's houses to gather up personal affects. On one particular outing she brought me along (For the LOLs, though we wouldn't use that term at the time). The houses she had to deal with were incredible in terms of filth, I was in charge of cleaning the fridge and I think I found one of the Old Ones living inside. Quite the ordeal. -AdeptusMechanis
  • @elcapitane: yuck. We had one like that at our place, whose chair was left alone by the rest of the team due to 'hygiene issues' (read: technically a biohazard). These are the ones who will blame it on a glandular disorder, but the 'gland' in question is only preventing their skulls from collapsing. -teivrann
  • For only $.12 a day, you can save these towers with the clean a pc foundation. lol. -KrazerKap
  • 8-) http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cress_keyboard-3_sprouting.jpg -AussieFoot
  • Strange CD found in California - Not really noteworthy, but simultaneously freaky and interesting. Especially the "music" on the disc, and the way it was packaged. [By: linuxmatt / 2009-12-03]
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  • It is cute packaging... but internal evidence would suggest that it is a scam, a way for the writer to get some publicity for his own music. Check the comments... -chazz
  • I agree with Chazz. And they suck. -Grembo
  • That's alright, there's a strange CD to be found in Swindon, too <runs> -lineswine
  • *incoming projectile LART* -CommanderData
  • Screens I want - I want, 2880 x 900 quad-DLP display, I just WANT! [By: virusjtg / 2009-11-24]
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  • If you will excuse me I have some money i need to make. -ZombieBear
  • Heh. Me too. -virusjtg
  • huh.. umm.. i'l just take a couple projectors... Kinda like a hawt stripper - LOOKs awsome.. even sexyer when buzzed, but the lights come up, you sober up and you just spent HOW MUCH?!?! -Harm
  • only 900 vertical rez? My 17" screen on my 2005 laptop is 1600x1200! -JoeLugian
  • Vir, pass teh napkins please? And $18k. -RA
  • Come to think of it now that I really look at it... for that much money, why am I buying a dlp display? why is it only 2880 * 900? and what can I do with that that i can not do with 5 46in 1080p sony tvs (tiger direct pricing)? now that would be awesome. -ZombieBear
  • Come to think of it now that I really look at it... for that much money, why am I buying a dlp display? why is it only 2880 * 900? and what can I do with that that i can not do with 5 46in 1080p sony tvs (tiger direct pricing)? now that would be awesome. -ZombieBear
  • Come to think of it now that I really look at it... for that much money, why am I buying a dlp display? why is it only 2880 * 900? and what can I do with that that i can not do with 5 46in 1080p sony tvs (tiger direct pricing)? now that would be awesome. -ZombieBear
  • ooops. my apologies, pc crashed on me. -ZombieBear
  • *infects ZombieBear, paralyzes his hands, sends him after the brains of law students.* -virusjtg
  • I can hook you up with 7680 X 1600 for the same price if you don't mind the bezels... -ThinTheHerd
  • I just ordered a 30" widescreen LG monitor this morning. 2560x1600 res, 5ms response, and other sweet stats ;) -elcapitane
  • +1 To Joe's comment. I'll stick with my 4660x1680 - even if it is across three screens. -Geminii
  • Actually I'm working on building a custom one similar to that using the eyefinity on ATI's new graphics cards. Hoping to have the bezels about a quarter inch thick between screens. -LazyLemming
  • The importance of data backup - Yup, totally a double post of this vid. Don't know why I submitted it to the section I originally did. It's early morning and I haven't had my usual caffeine intake, let's blame it on that. Anyway, destroying a server with multiple weapons ending in an explosion. Awesome vid. [By: AdeptusMechanis / 2009-11-19]
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  • I can just imagine a bunch of disgruntled techs taking out their frustrations on this poor server. Lol! -AdmiralLaurie
  • I would have liked to see Thermite used on it! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • AL: You've never been to a TSC BBQ >:-) -Necros
  • -necros: the day someone hosts one in San Antonio, Austin or Seguin, I'm coming! -AdmiralLaurie
  • TieDye I found an easy recipe. A few etcha sketches for aluminum. A bit of muriatic acid and copper wire. Put the wire and acid in a spray bottle for a week. Now spray it on steel. Mass amounts of rust. You now have Lots of rust and aluminum. Mix it. Make into a paste. Torch it and RUNNNNN!!! -0gr3
  • Why etch a sketches? Aren't soda cans all aluminum nowadays? -VFox
  • Finely powdered aluminum is much preferred for Thermite! An etch-a-sketch is apparently a very good source of powdered aluminium. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • ahh nerds. is there anything that brings us togeather faster then making fire more fun? -ZombieBear
  • Only thing cooler than thermite? Thermite and ice. Anne wants big boom! -AnneBWalsh
  • me, fourth of July celebration on a farm out in the middle of soybean ville. Dad, Aunt Teresa and I are sort of the pyromaniacs of the family. So we're sitting round eating smores when my dad says something I can't hear to Teresa. I was enjoying the show, being as close as was safely possible. They had one of those sixty tiny missile launchers, and supposedly aimed it right at me, although I doubt it very much. One of the tiny little bastards landed right near my leg. My dad laughed himself stupid saying "she looks like a nam vet! she looks like a nam vet!". Oh, I got my revenge. Sparklers are great fun.... -AdmiralLaurie
  • I think Anne's been watching a little too much Mythbusters! So I reject her reality and substitute my own! -Captain Trips
  • "Too-much-Mythbusters"? I do not understand this thing of which you speak! -Voz
  • Women love your 'big box of cables' - I have an enormous box of random cables. No wonder the ladies love me. [By: cianw / 2009-11-17]
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  • "My big box of cables brings all the girls to the yard! My box... is better than yours! My Box.. is better than yours!" -JoeLugian
  • Ok, it SHOULD be: "My big box of cables brings all the girls to the yard! And their like, It s bigger than yours! Damn right, it's bigger than yours! I could teach you but I'd have to charge!" -JoeLugian
  • Remember, the connector goes in the FRONT! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • It works the other way too... my boyfriend was impressed with my big box of cables. When we moved in together we combined boxes. <3 -FlyingGrype
  • Train company buses employees to meeting - Sounds like something that one of our members here may have experience with. The fact that rail fares on their own system are more than ten times the bus fares for the same trip doesn't raise any warning flags? [By: chazz / 2009-11-11]
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  • CD's going to just LOVE this... -Gromit
  • CD already knows about this :) -CommanderData
  • Yup, that was the first thing I thought of when I saw it too.. how ass-backwards does a company have to be to deny their own employees access to the trains they run in the course of business?? -NightSteel
  • And in a further @$$-about-face way, what's the bet the buses will only pick up from ONE location, which the employees will have to take a train trip to (and from) anyway? -Wraith556
  • Ermmm, we don't actually run any trains y'know -CommanderData
  • Oh. Well my mistake then! -NightSteel
  • Secret Knock Detecting Lock - I have to admit that this is a pretty cool idea. [By: BarmanVarn / 2009-11-09]
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  • That is pretty cool... Except for the fact that we all have that asshole friend who is going to change the beat while you're in the bathroom. -exzyle2k
  • Hmmmmmmm, sounds nice... -AdmiralLaurie
  • "The more they overtech the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain." -Scotty -Biosynthetic
  • Ghost, can you check in please? -

    I don't want to sound alarmist, but our very own tech-apparition and guardian of the LART-shelter is in the middle of that lot. Vaya con dios, old spectre.

    [By: Gromit / 2009-11-08]
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  • Yeep! -virusjtg
  • Wow, Ghost, hope you are alright. -NightSteel
  • Judging by the pic, I'm not sure he COULD check in if he wanted to (downed lines). We're all pullin' for ya, y'old phantasm. -Seamus
  • Unfortunately, I'm still alive. .... er.... wait.... <?> Now, seriously, thanks for your concern. The incidents were bad, and sadly lives were lost; but they were just isolated landslides; the country is standing and pretty much normal. All activities are up and the sun is shining strong as ever this morning; so, we go on. I'll make a post in the break room with more news. -TheGhost
  • The First Wireless Remote Control Radio - ...and I made the battery for the remote! [By: vacuumtubes / 2009-11-04]
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  • Hmmmmmmm, sounds lovely! I wish I had my old Timex alarm clock/radio/xm radio/mp3 player hookup. I loved that damned thing, and the sound quality was superb. I should be getting it whenever my parental unit decides to ship that box. -AdmiralLaurie
  • Awesome! And allow me to thank you publicly for the schematics on my antique radio. http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee238/Grembo/PHTO0047.jpg -Grembo
  • BRAAAAAAIINNS! - Take a look at the gallery, esp. the one pic featuring a zombie with long hair, wearing a blood-stained white shirt....I'm SO proud of my son! More info here:- http://www.examiner.co.uk/videos-pics/2009/11/02/huddersfield-zombie-slouch-2009-86081-25070193/ [By: lineswine / 2009-11-02]
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    BRAAAAAINS! - Huddersfield zombie Slouch 2009 - look in the gallery for the kid in the blood-stained white shirt& long hair...I'm SO proud of my son! [By: lineswine / 2009-11-02]
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  • If I could see him, I'd say awwwww! but I bet you folks had fun, and that's what matters. -AdmiralLaurie
  • Awww - he takes after his Dad....poor sod. ;-) -Gromit
  • Datamation tech comics - Tech-Comics from Datamation magazine [By: TieDyedDinosaur / 2009-10-30]
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    How to tell mother what your IT job is - "Internet Entrepreneur’s Mother Still Assumes He ‘Fixes Computers’ For Living" LOL [By: cianw / 2009-10-27]
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  • You don't. you really, really don't. my grandmother couldn't understand my job unless I broke it down into it's constituent parts and fed it to her one crumb at a time, and even then it'd be too much. -AdmiralLaurie
  • That was funny. I am still early enough in my career that if I had a job it would be fixing computers. -DarkRookie
  • so what do the mothers of porn site admins think? -drachen
  • Porn sites have admins? They must be mere shells of their former selves, and all they can parrot is: "all the free $pr0n you can handle, we just need your credit card to verify your age, oh, that charge is to check the validity of the card, I'm sorry sir but that charge is for you being a dumba$$" -AdmiralLaurie
  • I got so tired of things like that, when people ask me I tell them I work at McDonald's -LowLevelFormat
  • "Don't tell my Mom I work in IT, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse." -ralphp1024
  • Kinda reminds me of when ppl ask me what I do, I tell them I support a NOC in a hospital and the conversation invariably veers towards an expectation of me evaluating HPs vs Dells. -Tuswole
  • "I shove information up idiots all day." -Geminii
  • 8 legged starfish - One of Riff's? [By: smellystudent / 2009-10-24]
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  • No I think this is more aligned with the stories I have heard of his. http://bash.org/?904758 -DarkRookie
  • Nah.. All of Riff's and VT's are 2-legged... And if it's Riff's, it comes armed with food stamps to pay for computer repairs. -exzyle2k
  • They consider 8 a record? It isn't unusual for Crown Of Thorns to have a dozen legs and there are other species just as prolific. Must be a slow news week. -AussieFoot
  • Um, it states clearly that foodstamps are to be used for food purchased in a store, however, that is not hot, etc. How the hell can someone think it's usable for computer repair? -AdmiralLaurie
  • AL - That's the type of "special" that Indiana is saturated with. -exzyle2k
  • That's really pathetic.... -AdmiralLaurie
  • Another octomom in the making -THETECHFROMHELL
  • Tanker Truck Explosion NE Side of Indy - This happened a couple of miles from where we live and where I work. Probably would have heard it had I been outdoors at the time. [By: RiffRaff / 2009-10-22]
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  • I-69 ... Too easy to comment. Glad you and the Mrs. are okay. -Necros
  • BIG Bada boom! </Leeloo Minai Lekarariba-Laminai-Tchai Ekbat De Sebat> -Captain Trips
  • Riff - the FIRST thing I thought of was a recent exercise we've discussed previously. Eerie. -Grue
  • awwww, Capt Trips stole my line :) still, glad you're all OK mate. -rosemetal
  • I was 1.7 Kms from the Cairns BLEVE in 1987. The shock wave rattled our back door and rattled our roof where I worked. -Gerund
  • Security Expert Says Don't Use Windows - Apologies in advance for a blatant cross-post, but this is significant: Security expert/columnist for the Washington Post basically says if you want to stay safe while performing tasks such as online banking, don't use Windows. That's pretty ballsy. [By: RiffRaff / 2009-10-14]
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  • Or the users could figure out how to protect themselves by using current AV, and not downloading and clicking on every single link they see. Of course this is coming from WSJ that also published the end of email: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB20001424052970203803904574431151489408372.html -Olorin
  • Opps wrong newspaper but the same journalistic level. -Olorin
  • Yet sadly, I know a few banks that ONLY support Windows/IE for their online transactions. -linkv
  • Yup - up to a few months ago Santander's online banking system would detect the use of any non-IE browser at the login page and prevent the login. So much for security then. -Gromit
  • Worse, although now rectified, an Aussie bank that would only allow IE6. -AussieFoot
  • to the less wary, yes windows is about as secure as leaving your huse unlocked with a inventory of what you own taped to unlocked front door. as a person that has had their cc info stolene once - i may not run an AV on vista, but avoid the standart pitfalls. FF with an online scan weekly. BUT i'm tek savey. and have a copy of knoppix on a secandary machine. plus check sensitive info on a govment network. banking - work. pron and warez - home. -Harm
  • and i have asystem that just runs on a knoppix live cd. paranoia pays off occationaly. -Harm
  • The inherent problem I can see with this is that 90% of people are just barely clearing the jump to operate windows, what do you really think will happen if people start using linux distros that are't supported by anyone? That is the day I build the rocket to mars to start a new colony. -Tuswole
  • As much as I support a comment like this, is basically comes down to which OS is popular. The more mainstream it is the more of a target it becomes, so it's kind of a vicious cycle -kumenchi
  • While I agree with Kumenchi, by and large, I have to point out that the best available security, running your OS off an unwriteable medium like CD-ROM, is not available for Windows and is for Linux. If there was a Windows LiveCD available, that could be equally safe, as then you are always booting and working off a clean OS. As Windows does not have that option, though, we are left with Linux as your top-security choice. -chazz
  • Capt. Obvious' take: If you want to stay safe while performing tasks, such as banking, walk to the #$@%@#$ bank! -Biosynthetic
  • Doesn't that depend on the neighborhood you're walking through? -Voz
  • That's why I have my trusty Gatling Taser....and if that don't do the trick, there's always...Footmouse! -Biosynthetic
  • You mean this Gatling Taser? http://wsheep.blogspot.com/2005/05/110000-volt-gatling-taser-gun.html -unrenowned
  • Kinda like that. Picture a cross between two of those attached to the exoskeleton in Aliens 2. -Biosynthetic
  • Actually, it IS possible to boot windows from a cd. Check out Hirem's Boot CD, it's got a mini XP installation on it. -garwain
  • Ric Romero? -drachen
  • pages that require IE would be the reason I use something like User Agent Switcher on firefox. It fools microsoft's web page, and the US gov page for college aid. -rhiannon
  • Want. Gatling. Taser. Gun. -LazyLemming
  • IT LIVES! -

    Yes folks, the Dogcow has been spotted! He is believed to be living in a disused treacle mine in the fallout-ridden industrial desert north of Watford, surviving on a diet of homebrewed vodka strained through a pair of his Mum's old bloomers. You can run, DD, but you can't hide...

    Thanks for finding him, Virusjtg - though I dread to think what you were searching for when you fell over him.

    [By: Gromit / 2009-10-01]
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  • SWEET!!!!! -redevil34
  • er, it only brings up a page with the title, and nothing more. even with the homepage of http://www.moofburger.blogspot.com -AdmiralLaurie
  • AdmiralLaurie: try it without the leading www. Link: http://moofburger.blogspot.com -chazz
  • -chazz: no joy. -AdmiralLaurie
  • doesn't work for me either :( -rosemetal
  • I do get a content warning; perhaps there are filters on AL's and Rosemetal's MSIE installs? -chazz
  • With FF3.5 I had no trouble, the link goes to a content warning page that you have to click through to get to the blog. -AussieFoot
  • I've just tried it again with both Firefox 3.5 and IE6 - no problems at all. Just click through the content warning - it's SFW apart from the odd bit of colourful language. -Gromit
  • nice... just what I've been missing since Coy quit writing... maybe DD can do a daily post? Probably not, but one can hope :) -cyberblade3001
  • Virus if you are in town I owe you a beer. -Olorin
  • ah, had to use Jaws mouse immulation to see it. VJTG, I owe you a round of drinks.... thank you! -AdmiralLaurie
  • Yep, that reads like the dogcow we all know. Seems to post fairly often, too. -MadJack
  • Thanks again, virus. And Gromit, you got a mention in the Oct 3 post. :) -Tekkie
  • What? I thought Dowcows always WERE spotted! (heh, I get semi-namecheck on his post for introducing him to Twitter...) -lineswine
  • It's gotta be him, just read this one and there's no way to dismiss it as a copy cat.... http://moofburger.blogspot.com/2009/10/bridget-joness-larceny.html -unrenowned
  • Error Haiku page -

    Just a bit of prose
    Not an error solution
    No answer exists

    [By: AussieFoot / 2009-09-23]
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  • laughs! I've seen some of those, but not all of them. I'd be tempted to use them on some of the morons I support. -AdmiralLaurie
  • In Soviet Russia . . . - Russians create new 8-bit holiday. [By: AussieFoot / 2009-09-13]
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  • quoth does Jaws, 404 -AdmiralLaurie
  • funny, it comes up for me just fine -- slashdot link. -chazz
  • Hmmm, in looking at the url, there's a mbash at the end of it. Let's see. I'm not trying to be contradictory, it's just what I've noticed. -AdmiralLaurie
  • Yead, and there's more text following the place where the word "mdash" is spelled out. Could something be interpreting " - m d a s h - " as an actual mdash? -chazz
  • [Via Google Translate: Russia's President Dmitry Medvedev issued a decree established a professional holiday - Day of the programmer, which is celebrated on Sept. 13 if a leap year - September 12, the press office of head of state. Unofficially Programmer's Day celebrated in the world for many years at the 256 th day of each year. The number 256 is chosen because it is the number of integers that can be expressed using a single eight-byte, and also is the maximum degree of 2, which is less than 365. September 13 has long been an informal celebratory date for programmers, recalled in the ministry. Ordinance approval Minkomsvyazi feast was prepared after consultation with trade unions and industry associations and submitted to the Government in July 2009.] Russia leads the way again.... -Grembo
  • It didn't come up the first time for me <Firefox>, tried a few things, above is the article. -Grembo
  • It came up fine for me, first try (Firefox on Ubuntu 9.04 Jaunty). The Russians have an awful lot of holidays and commemorative days. I wonder how many of them are paid time off days, though. -Tekkie
  • You should complain to HR that your job description didn't include [drumroll] DEBUGGER! [runs for the lart shelter] -EngieViral
  • Carrier Pigeon faster than ISP... - A carrier pigeon transferred data 50 miles faster than the ISP... [By: BobP / 2009-09-10]
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  • Ooops -- sorry! This was reported yesterday. -BobP
  • I calculated the pigeon's speed to be equivalent to 4.77 Mbps. -Ichiro
  • Were they using IPoAC? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IP_over_Avian_Carriers -Captain Trips
  • Apple Owners have 'Augmented Reality' - I knew it! [By: cianw / 2009-09-04]
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  • Reminds me of an old UK magazine that did a tongue-in-cheek article about Actual Reality Sensory Environment (A.R.S.E.). Hmm, with VoIP this could explain people talking out of their AR... -AussieFoot
  • Photonic Computing - And also http://www.cudos.org.au/cudos/research/photonic_chips.php
    A bit of interesting reading for some of us. [By: AussieFoot / 2009-09-02]
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  • Pretty cool. -unrenowned
  • "How many lights?" -stiffarm
  • Orlando Jones unavailable for comment. -NightSteel
  • We Now Have a Graph - guys, this is to inform your wives/SO's. I take no responsibility. [By: HappyCrappy / 2009-08-28]
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  • The GRAPH is fine, but don't scroll down on the work computer! -Divinar
  • ALERT! Exploding iPhones -

    I never liked the bloody things anyway.

    Be afraid. Be very afraid...

    [By: Gromit / 2009-08-26]
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  • Apple just makes me love my G1 more and more. -LazyLemming
  • Lithium Ion batteries, no surprise there... -vacuumtubes
  • Lots of things have lithium ion batteries. As far as I know, Apple is the only one that puts them behind a glass faceplate. -chazz
  • Bah. iPhones explode because they are so full of themselves that they burst out. -TheGhost
  • First exploding iPods, now exploding iPhones. If you've got an iBook, keep it the HELL away from me... -udoshan
  • This is what happens when you buy the brand, not the product, you get crap. -PeterGibons
  • Hopefully this happens to the customers I have who shoved their iPhones at me and said 'Here. Make it work.' Including one who didn't want to have to enter a password to access any of his company resources. Ever. -NightSteel
  • Tech Support Flowchart - Isn't this basically what we all do when we meet some new program and need to do something? [By: ralphp1024 / 2009-08-24]
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  • Hey, that's what I've been doing! They're giving away my secret process! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • We Engineers do it better. If a machine doesn't work, we start pushing random buttons, or unplugging/pluggin random cables. Sometime it works, sometime it doesn't and we put a concerned look and go "hmm... that's odd." Sometimes it causes unexpected consequences and the problem doesn't matter anymore. -TheGhost
  • Printed, stuck on wall in customer area. I don't want to turn away business but I do want ppl to at least try before they call us. I suspect nothing will change -Bloke
  • I stick it to my door with a magnet everytime I leave the office. So far, doesn't appear to work. -LazyLemming
  • I stick it to my door with a magnet everytime I leave the office. So far, doesn't appear to work. -LazyLemming
  • It's ok to love your care, but.... - NT/OT This was too funny to pass up. [By: BarmanVarn / 2009-08-19]
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  • Meant "car", not "care" (typing sucks today) -BarmanVarn
  • I hope that that's a spoofed story and not real? -AdmiralLaurie
  • That's Awesome! "Look, man, I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!" -Biosynthetic
  • The man in question may have behaved like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5sOCEUpGZI -Darkridr
  • It brings a WHOLE new meaning to "I can't make it to work today, my car's fucked" -lineswine
  • Id need a car with a 3" tailpipe. Thats wide not long you pervs. -burrkiss
  • Time for a full-body helmet - Reason 1 not to go trail biking in the desert. [By: AussieFoot / 2009-08-17]
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  • another nice one :) http: //www. safetycenter.navy.mil/photo/archive/archive_251-300/photo287.asp -Bloke
  • OUCH! and Bloke, it took me many many tries to fix your link :p -evolvedstarfish
  • I've been a fan of the NSC page for a long time. As if I need more reminders of how 'fishy people can be! -SalParadise
  • Ah yes, jumping cholla. Fun stuff! And yes, it hurts every bit as much as you think it does, if not more. (Rule of desert hiking: carry pliers, cos you're not getting it out by hand.) -MeanDean
  • Smooth move there, shipmate! -MadJack
  • It appears that the USAF actually train to kill British troops on the ground...do you think Matty Hulls' widow should be informed? http://www.safetycenter.navy.mil/photo/archive/archive_251-300/photo297.asp -lineswine
  • Linux Genuine Advantage -

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    [By: Gromit / 2009-08-09]
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  • I particularly like the fact that their mascot is an albatross. -chazz
  • Now I can organise my crap with a smile on my face! -AdmiralLaurie
  • Click the link that says View Source Code; it's a trip! -unrenowned
  • ROFL -RiffRaff
  • Bloody brilliant, that is. -SalParadise
  • VERY amusing! -Grue
  • "It's totally awesome!" is a benefit? Sign me up! -Biosynthetic
  • When i click on the link for the crack on pirate bay it times out someone help me!!!!! -starfishmagnet
  • The crack is a virus, do not use!!1!!11 -LazyLemming
  • Yeah, but is it a LINUX virus? After all, surely no one running Windoze would be dumb enough to run a Linux patch. -RA
  • There's a link to the information about the crack at the bottom of the page. I love it, it makes this completely useless script useless! -SalParadise
  • I love it, it makes me feel more at home in my new Linux OS -rhiannon
  • System admin day! - Happy System admin day every one. We few, we grumpy few. And TSC is chop full of us, yay! Thanks again Hawk. [By: virusjtg / 2009-07-31]
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  • A day when users are a little less grumpy to you.....or maybe not ;) -Armakuni
  • I got a huge bouquet of sunflowers from a user! They have teeny green bugs on them, which are taking over my desk but I still appreciate the gesture. :) -Tekkie
  • Send a cheezy card : http://www.spiceworks.com/itcards/ ... Pi$$ off your mail admin! :) -Necros
  • Hey, I AM the mail admin..... -virusjtg
  • Nothing from any of my users, of course. -RiffRaff
  • I got a hug. But at least it was something. -virusjtg
  • Lunch from the Indian restaurant! Mmm... vindaloo... -chazz
  • "I got a rock..." -vacuumtubes
  • A phone call complaining that I couldn't create what the boss wanted from what he left on my desk. So nothing special. -Divinar
  • Woot! -PTSTech
  • I got breakfast in bed and a soda. Woot! -AdmiralLaurie
  • 2009's Best Software (mostly free) - From G4TV's website, a roundup of 2009's most useful(ymmv) utilities etc., mostly free. [By: ThinTheHerd / 2009-07-22]
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  • Already knew about alot of those, but found a few diamonds in the coal pile I'm gonna try out. Thanks for the link. -Grembo
  • That list is awesome. Thanks, TTH! -Seamus
  • Good info. Something tells me that most - if not all - of that list will be in our own thread: http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?t=6985 Still, TTH, you should add this link to the thread. It'll be great to have it handy. -TheGhost
  • added to my bookmarks. Thanks! -AdmiralLaurie
  • I added it to the thread- thanks -ThinTheHerd
  • Interesting "ass" = "***". -Stryker One
  • Visual guide to computer hardware. - Found thing on the front page of Digg, Not only do i intend to make this into a poster and put it up in my office, I'm going to use it next time i need to explain what a monitor cable looks like. [By: Ratfor / 2009-07-19]
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  • I'm going through the hi-res version and figuring out which ones *haven't* appeared in a computer I own. I've certainly seen DIL memory chips, but not SIP ones... -Chromatix
  • I know it's still fairly new, but I'm disapoined there is no pci-e x32 on here. -Ratfor
  • @Ratfor - Eighth from the top in the Desktop Card Slots section. -AussieFoot
  • Ratfor was looking for a PCIe 32x, not a PCIx. -ralphp1024
  • They're missing MCA slots, but that's OK, I'm sure none of the rest of us are missing them very much. IBM: The Original PS/2! -AmazingKreskin
  • @ralph - Tsk, tsk, you were looking in the Peripheral Cards section. Read my previous comment. -AussieFoot
  • I didn't see IBM's proprietary PS/2 card or slot listed. Probably because it's hard to fond an old PS/2. Also MIDI ports are missing. -edventure
  • Edventure, that's the MCA slot that AmazingKreskin was talking about. Luckily for us, the MicroChannel Architecture was never very popular; I seem to recall seeing only about three companies apart from IBM that ever made anything for it. -chazz
  • @Chazz, I didn't notice his post until after I submitted mine. We had to do product presentations in a marketing class back when I was in college. One girl in the class made hers IBM PS/2's and their fantastic Micro Channel Architecture. (Yes, I'm that old!) I think my lip was bleeding after stifling all the giggles. -edventure
  • Rap/Web 2.0 songs - pretty funny list of titles if Internet companies recorded rap songs [By: cianw / 2009-07-15]
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    Simon Travaglia's Webpage - Go to the Kiwi Blokes section. You won't be disappointed. :) [By: Tekkie / 2009-07-13]
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  • Good Grief. They'll put anything on the Internet these days ;-) -Necros
  • People like this... - People like this should be summarily executed. They're a waste of space. If I was that librarian I would have been hard pressed to keep my cool while telling the patron in no uncertain terms that he is not welcome in my library now or ever again. [By: OgdenTechGuy / 2009-07-01]
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  • I want to kill something. So I'm supposed to be ignorant, with a limited vocab, just because I can't see well? I learned most of the synonyms I use from books, not the fscking vocab lists we slaved over in school. That guy needs to go back to wherever he came from and never ever patronise that building again. -AdmiralLaurie
  • BTW, should anyone be interested, I'm trying to break into the voice-over business. If anyone knows of someone hiring for recording audio books, point them to http://billcademy.yolasite.com </cheap plug> -Captain Trips
  • How many do you have? - 6 New Personality Disorders Caused by the Internet, from cracked so is sfw [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-07-01]
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  • none ... no, really ... I said NONE, asshat. I'm sorry, my cat just hacked up a fork, it was awful ... -srteach
  • sadly I know a few morons with Munchausen by internet. <cough>$programmer-I-dislike</cough> -AdmiralLaurie
  • I'm watching the comments here for any spelling, punctuation or grammar mistakes. So look out, or there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth! -robbor
  • "But unlike a kid, a quick smack to the back of the head won't shut this guy up." Well, maybe with Otis this might be true! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Go $)*%(%*$(&^&$&$&$*$*^&&*(^*%&^)&*$^%#!!!!! TooooT tooot... Tooot. Tooot.. Tooot. WTF *%(!)_(*!(*%!&!(^!*%!!!! -kennz
  • - Sips tea on the background while knitting. --- I'm off to the LART Shelter now. Ahihihi -kennz
  • I like this one better: http://www.cracked.com/article_17206_10-most-perverted-old-school-video-games.html -unrenowned
  • I like the link to the "If everything was made by Microsoft" http://www.cracked.com/article_17323_if-everything-was-made-by-microsoft.html #s 3 and 1 in particular. -Wraith556
  • While reading the M$ ones, I got a BSOD. Seriously. And I just finished telling my visitors that my Vista 64 install had run flawlessly for 4 months. Murphy has one hell of a sense of humor. -ThinTheHerd
  • Sand Sculptures - My sister found this and frankly I think some of these will end up finding places on our walls.... [By: unrenowned / 2009-06-27]
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  • Wish I could see those, they sound intriguing. But yes, I think the skeptical, watchful, purposeful and perturbed ones would be on my wall. -AdmiralLaurie
  • That was amazing. Great share. -dc70380
  • Tech calls on my Youtube Channel - I put up a few of my favorite calls Riff and I had taken over the years. And it ends with my "Fucknugget" rant... :-) [By: vacuumtubes / 2009-06-12]
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  • That rant is epic. Thank you, VT! -Seamus
  • I love the penalty reboot, and pretending that the user is on a crappy phone when shes not. That rant at the end IS epic! Hope you don't get in shit for it. -Caboose447
  • We crave mooooooore. -Icelator
  • And that's exactly why I'm getting out of the retail field... Do you have any idea what it's like meeting them in the flesh?! -unrenowned
  • Something tells me your into transistor radios. -Stryker One
  • A close relative (on the phone to me) "Why won't {website} accept my password? I've put in the correct one. It says Roboform - This password cannot open passcard {website}" I answered, "You have your capslock on" She said "How did you know that?" -Gerund
  • oh that was good< thanks for posting it... -NerfHerder
  • My favorite is Riff's call with the crickle-crackle lady. Trying to establish a DUN connection with a crap line, then say it's our fault--yeah, good luck with that....LOL!! -vacuumtubes
  • I just want to know... How many "genuine, dyed-in-the-wool, Muncie-bred fucknugget" rants you've had. -exzyle2k
  • A few--certainly after the customer hung up, and if the tape was still rolling.... -vacuumtubes
  • vt, I want to work with you. Was the rapidfire thumping head/fist meets desk? I've done that before with morons over the phone. -AdmiralLaurie
  • Fist meeting desk. However, I'm in the Prozac Generation now, so I don't have near as much frustration. -vacuumtubes
  • ZOMFG, that SO made my day! Thank you! "... get out of the pool." Classic! -RA
  • Volume II is now on the channel.... -vacuumtubes
  • O...M...F...G! That had me pounding the desk and everyone around me wanted the link! I want that on my Ipod so I can listen over and over again! -Biosynthetic
  • I SERIOUSLY miss the VT/RR calls from $ISP. Those works of art have a permanent place on my iPod. *G* -linkv
  • LET'S FIND VOLUME 2.... -AdmiralLaurie
  • Link to volume 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jGfXFwvoyw&feature=channel -chazz
  • Call Six is PRICELESS!! -unrenowned
  • I do NOT know how you held your composure on call #7... -unrenowned
  • That was amazing...I am glad I don't work helpdesk anymore, but now I have to deal with these id10ts face to face. Sometimes I wish I was still doing helpdesk just because of the magic "Oops, the call was dropped" button :) -dc70380
  • I was kinda bummed out about being unemployed, and considered going back to work at a call center...and then I heard that...Ahhhh I feeeel SOOOO much better. TY! -MacDaddy
  • Calls like this are EXACTLY why I keep asking for a punching bag for my birthday! -udoshan
  • How the HELL do you two keep your cool? -CommanderData
  • For me now, it's Prozac. My favorite don't-give-a-fuck drug. Not sure what Riff takes... :-) -vacuumtubes
  • Hehehehehehe, and peopple think I'm nuts? -AdmiralLaurie
  • Replacement for Otis - In the popular game of Wak-A-Starfish this might work like a duck-call, the wind whistling through the vents would sound like the wind whistling through a potential mates head. The alloy construction should make it extra durable. [By: AussieFoot / 2009-06-09]
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  • I still prefer the M134. -Stryker One
  • @Stryker - I assume you mean one of these http://www.montysminiguns.com/RealityPage.htm but they're fixed mount. -AussieFoot
  • @Aussie--Holy shades of 1995, Batman! How old is that website? -charred
  • good lord I love the miniguns.... I keep dreaming of mounting one to my vehicle someday... *sigh* -cyberblade3001
  • More like Robo-Otis... -vacuumtubes
  • I kinda like the deathstick 24" http://www.deadonstore.com/tools.htm -McSmiley
  • I kinda like the deathstick 24" http://ep.yimg.com/ip/I/yhst-15879359145117_2058_12406500 -McSmiley
  • Sign me up for the Annihilator... -unrenowned
  • Actually, this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbXDmiqo6a4 or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=403aklHwL9g is what I had in mind. -Stryker One
  • Or this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RbL4PwTDsQ&feature=fvw -Stryker One
  • UK IT workers top three in alcohol use - Hmmmm, think they found out about the TSC BBQ? [By: CTYankee / 2009-05-27]
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  • I agree, cos I'm one. now where did I put that beer down...glug -bumblingalong
  • Number 2?! You're not trying hard enough, I want you number 1 next year. -AussieFoot
  • You mean that the House Of Commons wasn't #1? I demand a recount! -Seamus
  • *hic* -Stryker One
  • <slurred drunken reflex> Who ya callin a hick! </slurred drunken reflex> -AussieFoot
  • Oh fer krissakes, we can't even be No.1 at bloody drinking! I'm doing me best... <THUD!> -Gromit
  • The problem is that in Russia the drinking is compulsory! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Seamus: The Commons probably got disqualified because they didn't pay for any of it themselves :) -Armakuni
  • I wonder where the American Tech workers stand. I give us 5th at best. -DarkRookie
  • "WE'RE GOING TO VEGAS!!!!!!!" <Passes out> -Necros
  • I *knew* we needed to move to the UK!! If we bring you more of our Americanisms, you'll drink more and we'll be #1!! -TechMama
  • Blame Canada... Imean starfish. -ZombieBear
  • Dashed uncivilised, should of course be cups of tea for us sophisticated Brtis. -CommanderData
  • I'm thinking instead that it is pints of best bitter... -chazz
  • http://hypem.com/track/776036 -unrenowned
  • Whisky in the bottle/Bottle in my hand/Trying to beat a login page that I just don't understand/All the while not knowin' that the admin's got me banned/Whisky, what you done to me? -fearnothing
  • Geek Squad Fail - Geek Squad fail to diagnose an unplugged hard drive cable in a test to see who's shop is ripping you off. [By: Dragones / 2009-05-22]
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  • Not a huge suprise, the geek squad used to help our customers set up their internect connections and would have to call in for tech support as they were not even able to check simple tcp/ip settings. I would tell them to call thier supv for assistance that is what they are paid for. -THETECHFROMHELL
  • As to be expected, a shop is only as good as its techs. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I loved that letter of apathy from the DM. It's the classic "we proudly try to rip everyone off equally (and we're sorry that we got caught)" statement. -Seamus
  • Obviously their quality of service is improving. The G.S. at the mall across the street sends people to our store when they can't figure it out -Spyder19
  • that "pc paramedix" place got a lot of free advertising, there. seems like they were a sharp bunch, though. -illiterate
  • I acn forgive them for simply missing the HD cable, BUT to "diagnose" a virus and charge $580 for new HD? DUMB!!!! -udoshan
  • We don't have that store in the UK, but PC World is WELL known for being unable to diagnose anything but charging you nearly £100 for a drive scan.. -CommanderData
  • I haven't been happy with gs since winter of 05, when my cd drive went thud. I didn't know how to isntall a new one, had never done it, so to be safe we took it to gs, and they charged over $120 for a simple install. that's not including the cost of the drive, oh and the install took 45 minutes. -AdmiralLaurie
  • Not surprised at all. Most items sold there for some reason do not work. I used to pick up phones and people where complaining about the items they bought. I always ask then where they bought it. They would always say Best Buy. I try to TS, if it does not work. I ask them to go get it replaced or ask their money back. -kennz
  • I love how at the end the reporter tells you how they hide their bbb f ratings in that region. -Icelator
  • Star Trek movie - rewritten - *Contains spoilers* This is what happens when geeks have too much time on their hands... [By: lineswine / 2009-05-21]
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  • "I'm James T. Kirk, bitch!!" -vacuumtubes
  • "Live long and prosper", I just KNEW that was the Vulcan way to say 'Bite Me!' -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Enterprise: DO NOT WANT. -AmazingKreskin
  • Now THIS is how you run a NOC (NSFW) - This link is not even *close* to being safe for work. Nevertheless, it is *technically* tech-related, and I would be a poor friend indeed if I did not share this. Enjoy, but not at work. ;~} [By: RiffRaff / 2009-05-20]
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  • Why not at work? ... They are (at work) BEFG. -Gerund
  • I WANT A NEEEEEWWW JOOOOOBB!! -unrenowned
  • Sorry but i'm not sure i see the NOC. Perhaps I am distracted. -MrJay67
  • Those of you running Win7... - ...will want to read this. [By: Tekkie / 2009-05-13]
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  • Doesn't affect me, running the 64bit version. -flapjackboy
  • And this is why it's only RC-1. But it's still looking better than Vista was after SP1! -Divinar
  • Hey, it's still in testing, so it still has lots of bugs. I haven't found any on my system though, since I'm testing the 64-bit edition. IIRC though, one of the beta builds had some strange bug that caused some hard disks to permanently kick the bucket at some point in hibernation (somehow fried the HDD's firmware I think). I don't understand how it happened, but a lot of users complained their HDDs no longer being usable (wouldn't even show up in the BIOS) after hibernating the beta. -linuxmatt
  • Thanks m'dear - I'm just ordering a new box to trial Win7 on. <makes mental note on bit of paper - First, update...> -Gromit
  • I'm not going to use Win 7 until I'm damned sure it will work with Jaws. It's currently being tested and I think developed for. -AdmiralLaurie
  • When I came out of hibernation, I got a blue screen, then it had to chkdisk. I think I'll avoid it sleeping from now on... -evolvedstarfish
  • Since I'm running 64-bit, I'm safe, and I'm with the others. What I've seen so far is already bigger, better, and faster than Vista. -elcapitane
  • Wee. Doesn't effect me. Got the 64-bit version on mine. -DarkRookie
  • I'm posting this from Windows 7 RC 32-bit - so far no problems. -Gromit
  • Fred Code - Here's one way to get around a numerical issue in code the hard way... pardons if this has shown up here before. [By: Mushroom / 2009-05-07]
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  • Wow, that looks a lot like some of the legacy code I have to support here. Still, at least it looks pretty on the page! -Shaede
  • The fact I can look at that and name at least 2 people in our firm who write code like it no longer frightens me.. -CommanderData
  • We have some code similar here. About 25 nested if statements used to move data files, archive, then delete. I've looked at attempting to redo it several times (so has SalParadise). Just simpler to let it continue. It works. Not sure who coded it. Was here before me, but DAMN, it's ugly. -TubPorsche
  • Holy crap! Folks, let this be a lesson to not code AND do drugs at the SAME time... -unrenowned
  • butbutbut.. There's builtin functionality for padding with fixed amount of zeroes and everything.. ahhh. my fragile little mind.. -shayera
  • .. and for padding *to* a fixed amount of ciphers/zeroes too.. blehh.. :) -shayera
  • Unless the number input happens to be 0. Or longer than 9 digits. Whatever happened to "%09.9d"? -chazz
  • I've written some rather ugly code, http://ryan.thetank.biz/source/qbi2poser.py but... damn... -boxxertrumps
  • @unrenowned come on, it is not a coincidnece both LSD and Unix originate fro Berkley! -Ara
  • This reminds me of some old Fortran code I once worked with. Hollerith data type was four ebcdic characters in one variable. Same weird nesting checks and conversions but with powers of 16. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • The Hunt for Gollum - This looks cool. [By: Hawk / 2009-05-04]
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  • you sir, are correct that was not bad at all, quite interesting -NerfHerder
  • I just watched it with my son, it was pretty good for a low budget film, watch out Peter Jackson! -Hawk
  • Thanks, Hawk, for bringing this to our attention -- it was quite good, especially well done for a "fan film." (And thanks once again for being our favorite webmaster for bringing us things like this!) -Captain Trips
  • - This is sooooooo appropriate for us.... [By: maciarc / 2009-04-30]
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    - This is so appropriate for us... http://otisgun.com/ [By: maciarc / 2009-04-30]
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    I found Otis! - This is so appropriate for us. [By: maciarc / 2009-04-30]
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  • A far better "OTIS" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCnumxfr_YM -Stryker One
  • That should be named either Buzz or Sting... -vacuumtubes
  • I guess, Buzz, or maybe Zippy. As Tolkien has taken Sting. -Stryker One
  • I'll take something i would like to see, - For 500 Alex. IBM system to compete on Jeopardy [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-04-27]
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  • Kinda reminds me of this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXa9tXcMhXQ ( What is KraftWerk - The Robots ) ;-) -Necros
  • Would be hilarious if Jeopardy! is secretly planning to bring Ken Jennings out of retirement for the test! -MasterOfNone
  • NERD RAGE! - Actually, I kind of sympathize with this comic; there is no reason to assume that anyone who is good at Guitar Hero can sing AND play guitar in a real rock band nor would I ever want to sit through an episode of them trying.... [By: unrenowned / 2009-04-26]
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  • URU Live. Best game I've ever played, nothing since has come close. -Stryker One
  • A Damning Parody - What could have happened if the likes of Filmation, Hanna-Barbera and Ruby Spears got hold of the Watchmen franchise. So vintage-looking, it hurts! [By: vacuumtubes / 2009-04-25]
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  • Ok, I swear this has been posted here before. Am I wrong? -Stryker One
  • I don't recall seeing it before, but the video has 11k comments so it's been around for a while at least, meaning it's possible. -OgdenTechGuy
  • I think it got posted in the Watchmen thread in the Break Room, back around when the movie came out. -Grue
  • It could only happen in Ireland - part X -

    Oh, shit.... :-)

    [By: Gromit / 2009-04-22]
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  • The user needs to be flushed! -unrenowned
  • "An' th' piss turned BLUE! An' I said, "Holy Jesus, Holy Jesus!" Cuz I ain't never seen no blue piss!" </Richard Pryor> -vacuumtubes
  • ..I am so glad I am not a local :P -Ara
  • Christ on a tractor goin off a cliff! -starfishmagnet
  • THIS IS FRUITA!!! http://notalwaysright.com/no-one-ever-said-it-would-be-boring/1832 -Stryker One
  • Alright Stryker - you got my attention with that one. But only because there is a town close to me that is named Fruita. -NotaTech
  • Command line is illegal - Person arrested for doing illegal activities because he was seen using a command line interface which obviously denotes illegal 'hacking'.... [By: CommanderData / 2009-04-15]
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  • Jesus, just Jesus -starfishmagnet
  • WTF Batman!!!! -Crai
  • Fuck the police. -ThinTheHerd
  • sudo apt-get insta.... "HANDS UP TERRORIST SCUM!" -neodemi
  • Well I guess that means that network admins can't do their jobs any longer. Vacation time folks, we can't use a command line cause we might be hacking. -Olorin
  • So, some former Circuit City employees became campus cops... -vacuumtubes
  • I guess if command line use is hacking now, I won't switch to 'nix. Windows is the greatest. BFEG. Joking. -DarkRookie
  • Wha? Huh? uh, no. Howinhell is that possible? -AdmiralLaurie
  • You may want to read a copy of the actual warrant, it looks like the Officer in question also has other evidence like dns records, dhcp logs, and complaints that the perp in question has also been installing unlicensed software on peoples computers. The cli is just one f the things listed just to show that he knows how to use more than just the gui. -McSmiley
  • I did read the warrant, and it seems that it was justified. They have connection records and personal testimony of what the suspect is accused of doing, and need to investigate further on these claims. It was NOT just based on his using the CLI, but on various other factors as well. Yeah, let's not judge based on only partial evidence, which the EFF article is doing. Normally I support their efforts, but this time they are off-base. -Captain Trips
  • Overall the warrant may be valid, but just the fact that they cited the use of the CLI, shows a staggering level of ignorance. -Stryker One
  • note CLI != hacking, However it does denote a person who is more likely to be adept at computing. Also, for all we know he actually had a vm that was cli only. How else would you describe a cli based vm to a non-technical judge? (a secondary os, black and white screen text only) -McSmiley
  • on reading the warrant, it looks like all the accusations are hearsay based on a disgrunted ex-roommate. i can't believe they went this far based on pure hearsay from someone who obviously had a bone to pick with the accusee (which was being dealt with by the college anyway) -rosemetal
  • At $hitty programming limited, I faced instant dismissal for "any activities considered to be hacking" by the admin staff, which in reality was anything they didn't understand. This included: editing HTML in notepad, editing ANYTHING in notepad, using DOS prompts to format diskettes, copy diskettes, FTP sessions to the HP-UX box in my work area, and even the command prompt on the HP-UX box to duplicate software for customers. And this was all covered in my job description and work instructions. A lot of work was done after hours to avoid those clueless berks. -Wraith556
  • Plastic Coppers, you got to luv 'em :( -Armakuni
  • After reading the warrant, I took away that 2 people were fighting, it went online by the accusee creating a fake profile on a website. So far, these are civil issues. The issue that he has been seen with many different laptops on campus is irrelevant. Under that criteria, most of us that repair computers should be under arrest for theft. Stating that a disgruntled calooege pal is a credible witness and seems to be the only person to have heard the "hacking confessions" is highly suspect as well. The claim that this "L33T ahcker" installed software on his system is highly suspect as well. If he could pull that off, couldnt he obscure his own MAC address to access the web site? -techinator
  • I once had a clueless boss say that she didn't want to see me using the command line again, because she didn't understand it. So I turned my desk around. -Geminii
  • I once had a clueless boss say that she didn't want to see me using the command line again, because she didn't understand it. So I turned my desk around. -Geminii
  • You stupid bitch - No words can describe the stupidity, news site is sfw [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-04-12]
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  • I see stuff like this and a sound clip comes to mind; Cletus from The Simpsons saying "are you some kind of mo-ron?" -OgdenTechGuy
  • uh.... thud. why would you jump into a bear's enclosure while it's being fed? -AdmiralLaurie
  • Why would you jump into a bear's enclosure at all? Thank you Disney for teaching the world's idiots that bears are cute and cuddly... and thank you (not!) hospital system for keeping this sort of idiot alive to reproduce. -chazz
  • should have let the bears rip her apart, and any children she's bred. it would have been natural selection in action. -drachen
  • I read about that woman and thought of this: http://www.bash.org/?628630 -Cyan
  • Pat, I'd like to solve the puzzle in two words: Stupid. Fuck. In three words: Stupid. Stupid. Fuck. -vacuumtubes
  • Sad thing is, some people probably got mad at the bear... -udoshan
  • Couldn't she read the 'Do not feed the bears' sign? The bears probably thought she was a seal. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I think she missed her failboat ride, and was trying to catch it. >.> -Torinir
  • Yet more proof Darwin was wrong. -Deadagent
  • I agree with Deadagent. If Darwin were still alive, he's say, "Never mind, I take it back. They're just turtles." Meanwhile, my theory of Evolution goes that EVERYTHING was evolved from chickens. Too many things taste like them. -Biosynthetic
  • Just goes to show you where people are on the food chain when tossed into the polar bear cage. -Starfury
  • @TDD "thought she was a seal", no, seals are sleek and graceful in the water not gelatinous & awkward. If they thought she was a seal it must have been because she acted like she'd been clubbed in the head one too many times. -AussieFoot
  • recovering after surgery? Darwin DENIED? pity, shoulda let the bear eat her dumb a**. -HappyCrappy
  • she's lucky she got out of there at all, polar bears in the wild are notoriusly aggressive. from the picture i thing the bear bit her because it was afraid of the crazy woman. she swam right up to him.. TIM TIMMAH! -putahtek
  • The Website is Down - As suggested by Angrysup here: http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=79215 [By: OgdenTechGuy / 2009-04-09]
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  • He rebooted a webserver at the request of a sales drone? I have no sympathy for him. -SalParadise
  • Never EVER reboot anything a sales drone asks, unless of course you are rebooting the sales drone. -virusjtg
  • The second video's a scream. -vacuumtubes
  • Either i had too much blood in my cafeeine and Tylenol stream, but it didn't load for me. maybe it's just I'm not patient enough. I'll try again. -AdmiralLaurie
  • I dunno, maybe it's just me but I dont find either funny (or real) -Caboose447
  • I love that they now have had someone write a program to allow "arrange by penis" -SillyGirl
  • BADGERS! - badger badger badger [By: virusjtg / 2009-04-05]
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  • Look, we've seen the damned badger thing... STOP IT -Spyder19
  • wow I spent five minutes on that, can I have them back please... -NerfHerder
  • Oh, FFS... -Gromit
  • I say we throw virus out of the LART shelter and sic CD on him. >.< -Torinir
  • I’m only doing what any good pathogen does. Infecting your brains with the most insidious thing I could find. -virusjtg
  • Badgers? BADGERS? We don't need no steenkin' badgers! -SalParadise
  • GAAH! Why is the LART shelter full of badgers? Virusjtg! What did we talk about badgers, hamsters and goats in the LART shelter? -TheGhost
  • Oh, it's memes you want.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw&feature=PlayList&p=9811D7E9B6CECDBF&index=0&playnext=1 -Biosynthetic
  • Trance badgers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxD7vV3QdZ4 (video, sound warning of course) -chazz
  • http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/yatta -veaudaux
  • Time for an Antivirus.. we have Nhourtons, McAffree, EeeZee and many many others.. all in NON back side FRIENDLY format! Wide, Rectagular with lots of edges! -Harm
  • I just want a link to the original Hamster Dance. (without stupid software) -AngrySup
  • AngrySup: I don't think you REALLY want it - trust me. <shudder> -Gromit
  • For AngrySup. http://www.webhamster.com/ The original hamster dance. -DarkRookie
  • Hey Veaudaux, you've seen the original, right? :D :D :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW6M8D41ZWU <Warning: Video, may be NSFW since it has very disturbing near full frontal nudity of weird men.> -TheGhost
  • -the ghost... O.o that sounded wrong, the guy can't sing and I'm glad I can't see the video. I want those minutes of my sanity back. :P -AdmiralLaurie
  • Gary Brolsma for teh win!! http://uploads.ungrounded.net/206000/206373_numanuma.swf -unrenowned
  • Surprised this one hasn't surfaced yet... http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama -exzyle2k
  • Thanks...I'm going to be singing that ALL day. -persephone
  • BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!! -

    Oh, if only it were true - everyone from President Obama downwards would be queueing up to tel Ballmer to fuck off.

    [By: Gromit / 2009-04-02]
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    BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!! -

    Oh, if only it were true - everyone from President Obama downwards would be queueing up to tell Ballmer to fuck off.

    [By: Gromit / 2009-04-02]
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  • Entity makes LOTS of bad moves, gets into serious financial trouble, asks govt to bail its ass out......why am i gettin a deja vu????? ;) -starfishmagnet
  • I tell MS to fuck off every chance I get. I'm MS-free at home, and if I ever happened to meet Ballmer in an airport, I'd ask him why, with billions at their disposal, they can't do what many have done before (and after MS) - write an OS that doesn't go down as often as a $2 hooker. -SalParadise
  • If only it were truek, I'd be praying for m$hit to fall, crash and burn burn burn baby burn! bwahahahahahahahahaaaa! -AdmiralLaurie
  • That was great. I hate to say it, but, I have to hand it to Microsoft. Not many companies would make fun of the current administration. How long do you guys think there will be before there is legislation that allows the government to take over Microsoft? -adarklite
  • adarklite - What would be the difference if the gov't ran M$? Overpriced crappy products, bloat, mismanagement and corruption....already there. -redevil34
  • Well, that's what I am afraid of. Just because we can't see how it can be worse doesn't mean nothing worse can happen. Governments always mess things up. If you don't believe me look at social security, medicare, and our economy. -adarklite
  • Looks like a April fools joke to me. Its not on the AP, not on the MS home page that I could find and even el reg hasn't picked it up yet. -virusjtg
  • <respectfully points VirusJTG to footnote at bottom of article - the bit that says "April fool"> ;-) -Gromit
  • Actually Gromit, it's on the first line of the article as an editor's note -Spyder19
  • Wanna chat to total strangers? - (From the site itself)"Omegle is a brand-new service for meeting new friends. When you use Omegle, we pick another user at random and let you have a one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous, although there is nothing to stop you from revealing personal details if you would like." Wonder how many "busty blondes" will be on it, and thats just burrkiss..... [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-03-30]
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  • Nicknamed 'meet a pervert'. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Ah the internet ... where men are men, boys are men and little girls are police officers. -Gerund
  • I hate people ! Why would I want to install software so that MORE of them can find me ? -Spyder19
  • All Chris Hanson....All the time! -vacuumtubes
  • Oh what I need - another way to get bombarded by internet morons. It's like irc, the people you WANT to talk to will be in a real minority -CommanderData
  • t3h 'tubes: Where the men are men, the women are men, the sheep are scared, and the preteen girls are 40-year-old men! -DarkRookie
  • Here's the *nix man page for LART! - FINALLY, we have an authoritative definition! *bfeg* Many other *nix humor items at this site.... [By: Grue / 2009-03-27]
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    Just when we were getting a handle on it - Great, just freaking great... Guys figure out how to inject code into flash ROM chips gaining control over a system's BIOS (sorry Linux, your not safe either). Code infects system at "Ring Zero" and if you don't understand the phrase, you haven't been schooled in "Old School" yet... No cure... Guess what they are trying to create now? A rootkit to drop the payload. I understand that this is for the Black Hat convention, but COMMMON!! How much of this is going to now end up in the hands of the authors of that AV360 crap... [By: unrenowned / 2009-03-23]
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  • And another that aims itself at OpenWRT and DD-WRT routers... http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=09/03/23/2257252 -chazz
  • RTFA before you spread your fear mongering: "Sacco and Ortega stressed that in order to execute the attacks, you need either root privileges or physical access to the machine in question, which limits the scope" -NoneProvided
  • I'm not fear-mongering. If you read the rest of the article, they state: <quote>"We can patch a driver to drop a fully working rootkit. We even have a little code that can remove or disable antivirus," Ortega said.</quote> Which means that while the original means of infection developed in 2007 have been highly expanded upon to be able to deliver a full payload by means of tricking someone into a simple driver download. Now you tell me, how many people end up getting extreme infections due to downloading a simple "codec" hmm?? I'll tell you; at least 65% of the infected machines that come through my door have been infected in such a manner. Fear-mongering? I call it reality. -unrenowned
  • We're all doomed.... DOOMED, I TELL YOU! -Gromit
  • *switches back to pen & paper* -ThinTheHerd
  • Pen and paper is no solution, TTH! Some diabolical monster came up with malware called "Fyre". It will completely destory that paper and all the data on it! We've got to go back to chisels and stone! OMG! -CyBear
  • CyBear: but even chisel and stone is vulnerable to the "drop document off high building" attack... -rdwells
  • friend ran into this, he said the only recourse was to send it back to the plant and have them fix it. that or, as vt loves to say, "smash it with a hammer!" -AdmiralLaurie
  • Guess my Macs are safe from this one. Mac admins don't have root access unless they intentionally turn root on, and to do that they usually know what they are doing, and are smart enough to re-lock it after. -Lokiz
  • Guess my Macs are safe from this one. Mac admins don't have root access unless they intentionally turn root on, and to do that they usually know what they are doing, and are smart enough to re-lock it after. -Lokiz
  • lokiz: don't count on that. If you can have sufficient privilege to install a driver, you can bet a virus will find a way to do it; and from that privilege you can install this BIOS virus. -chazz
  • I guess I just don't understand programming enough to understand how something running at the BIOS level can get into Windows and do damage. Can someone explain it to me? -JoeLugian
  • The whole key is this: BIOS can load a ring0 (kernel privilege) piece of code that can do anything, including hiding itself from the kernel, and creating a virtual machine for Windows to run in. It then has control of all data streams coming in and out of Windows into the hardware. Need I say more? -chazz
  • isnt this just another example of something you all knew would happen. we make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. -rhiannon
  • No, this is clearly malice. Idiocy won't do this sort of research. -chazz
  • What is worse is that now many mobos can have their BIOS flashed from within Windows. How long is it before someone makes a program to look for existing BIOS flash programs and burn the payload with that at some quiet time of the night? -Darkridr
  • This is why mobos should have hardware BIOS lockouts. -Geminii
  • I'm having troubles digesting all of this. So the BIOS is OS aware? Also there is enough room on the ROM for a VM capable of running a full blown OS? -ShiftedBeef
  • ShiftedBeef: No, but it doesn't need to be... much. And yes, if you cut a few corners. You can fake most of the functionality by simply passing through to hardware and only trap what you need to reproduce. -chazz
  • Chazz, Unrenowned: Open a thread for this in the "I know something" section of the forum; this looks like something we might all want to know more about. -TheGhost
  • Agreed, and another question that comes to mind is that wouldn't PatchGuard prevent this? -ShiftedBeef
  • At Ghost's request, now moved to the forum under "I know something you should know": http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?t=9756 -chazz
  • I need to find me a twin........ - Saved by their indistinguishable DNA, identical twins suspected in a massive jewelry heist have been set free. Neither could be exclusively linked to the DNA evidence. [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-03-19]
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  • I'm your evil twin, the police will be around shortly to take you in, for the crimes I did, but left your DNA.... -Wonko The Sane
  • There was an even more bizarre case with conjoined twins. One was convicted of murder but released because they couldn't execute or imprison him without doing the same to his innocent brother. -AussieFoot
  • Reasonable doubt for the lose -DarkRookie
  • The Space shuttle had a hitchhiker... - No word yet on the fate of that poor little sucker (no pun intended), but smart money is on needing some seasoning & barbecuse sauce at this point... [By: elcapitane / 2009-03-18]
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  • The poor little thing shouldn't have left its towel behind. -Gromit
  • Or one of those diapers. My guess is, shortly before it passed, it made a pretty big download of guano... -elcapitane
  • Elcapitane: you mean it was batshit crazy? -Gromit
  • When witnessing it's imminent demise, it wouldn't surprise me if a little insanity was involved on the part of little Bartok... -elcapitane
  • Five bucks says he tastes like chicken. Superheated, ashified chicken... -PTSTech
  • Needs garlic... -unrenowned
  • "QUICK! To the Bat-Shuttle..." -Voz
  • hmm... closer inspection of the picture seems to indicate he was "tied" to the shuttle. And there seems to be a guy with some white makeup and a painted green smile laughing maniacally in the background... -TheGhost
  • To all of my Irish friends on TSC - Here's wishing you a fun St. Patrick's Day! Remember, this is the one day of the year that if our urine turns from yellow to green, it's okay! [By: unrenowned / 2009-03-17]
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  • Ummm. what about yellow to an off-shade of puce? -Biosynthetic
  • Finger Me. - At least he'll never be without his porn collection. [By: Stryker One / 2009-03-17]
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  • But can he upgrade from the 2 gig to a larger one? -atomicbill
  • I would hope so. 2 gigs is only so much pron he can put on there. >:D -DarkRookie
  • beats losing it beecause it's attached to your keys and you're always losing 'em.... but still, I don't know how I'd react to that if I saw that. -AdmiralLaurie
  • Sex with Cleaner = 'Fair use policy' - lol - "Man claims having sex with cleaner is part of his ‘fair use policy’" [By: cianw / 2009-03-15]
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  • Clinton should have used that line. :P -Torinir
  • But it didn't inhale. Only one that can claim that is Dyson. -vacuumtubes
  • Sounds like a good clean-living individual to me. ;-) -Gromit
  • See, the way I see it is: Who the fsck cares? -Seamus
  • I don't quite know what to make of this. Clearly it is comedy, equally clearly it is fiction, but it is also a comedic slam against the Fair Use doctrine. Could it have originated with the mafIAA? -chazz
  • It may be Fair Use, but you gotta watch for those viruses. -Biosynthetic
  • Today's CAD - "The customer is not always right. Most of the time, the customer is a clueless moron. If this sign upsets you, your are this moron." [By: smellystudent / 2009-03-13]
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  • Every shop needs one of those signs. -flapjackboy
  • That sign needs to be everywhere. -r3tude
  • Anyone else think there might be some Gord-like adventures here? -redevil34
  • Maybe the Magoo version of Gord - remember, this is Ethan we're talking about. :D -OgdenTechGuy
  • Yeah, I just can't imagine Ethan as Gord. Lucas would be a much likelier candidate, imo. -NightSteel
  • I think I need to work there. -RandalGraves
  • I seem to recall that Lucas actually works in a computer store run by a Gord clone... http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20030530 -chazz
  • Yeah. His boss' name is Mickey. http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20040315 http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20060407 and there's another one where an apple user comes in for repair and they chase him out because they don't do Apples, but I can't find that one. Comedy gold.. -NightSteel
  • Three others, including the Apple one, from Lucas' boss: http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20040719 http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20050608 http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20070207 -chazz
  • Would love to see this implemented here - "A Finnish millionaire Jari Bär, the former owner of the Iisalmi’s company Finnritilä was handed a fine of 111,888 euros (141,661 dollars) for doing 82 km/h (51 mph) in a 60 km/h (37 mph) zone on January in Siilijärvi, Finland." Read the rest of the story, how many road deaths would be avoided with this in place? [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-03-10]
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  • Think of the fluffy kittens! If you're not offered a fixed penalty notice here, your fine is still based on your take-home income. This is simply an extreme case as the guy was loaded. Without seeing the road in question and knowing the prevailing conditions it's impossible to say if the excess speed was dangerous or not, but my experience of Finnish roads is that limits tend to be set much lower than equivalent UK roads anyway. Educating drivers to a higher standard (like they do in, say, Finland!) would be a far more effective way of reducing deaths and serious injuries on the roads, but wouldn't make Her Majesties Government as much money. -smellystudent
  • Finland, Finland, Finland The country where I want to be Pony trekking or camping Or just watching TV Finland, Finland, Finland It's the country for me. -Biosynthetic
  • Compare this with Mr. Gates beating a traffic fine by siccing lawyers on the city. He made an illegal left hand turn and escaped any legal punishment by demanding that the city do an expensive analysis of the traffic to see how many other drivers got away with what he was charged with. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I would have to disagree to some extent, it just gives all the out-of-work rednecks and gangstas an excuse to drive even worse than they do now... -oar
  • If you're on welfare does that mean that the city pays you for traffic tickets? -Darkridr
  • The fine-based-on-income system just means the uber rich and uber poor can ignore the law, while the rest of us get shafted. -Stryker One
  • Taco Neepage Deux - Just when you think it couldn't happen again.... [By: vacuumtubes / 2009-03-04]
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  • she's ... a real nugget -srteach
  • Stupidity on all ends here. Woman shall be in the ranks along with the other woman who called 911 about Burger King http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ12Ry-hD6I . But also, if you went into NaldsMcDo http://failblog.org/2009/02/13/mcdonalds-sign-fail/ and were offered McCowEyes or something, you might do something fail too on the spur of the moment. -Biosynthetic
  • C'mon, let's not let the idiot cachier off the hook completely, either. If the customer wants a refund because you don't have what she already paid for, you give her a refund. -rdwells
  • Did it ever occur to her there's more than one McDonald's in the US. I used to live in the area, and every day to and from work, I'd pass several. -elcapitane
  • See now, if the cashier refuses a legitimate refund, I would have asked for a manager. If the manager had also refused, then I would have called the district office. Failing there, I would have contacted my attorney for one heck of a lawsuit. -unrenowned
  • Especially if there is NOT a sign stating that "all sales are final. No refunds." -unrenowned
  • Calling 911 was OTT, but damn, why didn't they just give her her refund? I did however find it amusing the linked page has a poll 'would you dial 911 if you couldn't get a refund' (or similar) and 23% of respondents said YES (2% said 'no opinion). Damn, just damn... -rosemetal
  • Just to be Devils Advocate here, but in my state, bait and switch is illegal in the criminal sense. The 3 calls was incessant and abusive. I formally worked for EMS and this is prolly one of the least abusive issues I have seen. There is a frequent flyer who uses the ambulance to go see her boyfriend who lioves near the hospital. -techinator
  • As a quick update, I read a news article on the local paper's site (http://www.wpbf.com/cnn-news/18856490/detail.html), saying the lady was embarrased and was receiving threatening phone calls. A person at the dispatch office was saying that McNuggets didn't constitute an emergency, so unless the lady was threatened or something to that effect, police would've likely not been sent out. -elcapitane
  • Whoops a ), got tacked onto the url, so here it is again... http://www.wpbf.com/cnn-news/18856490/detail.html -elcapitane
  • Okay, taking payment on a product they ran out of and refusing the refund may be illegal -- but 911 is NOT for reporting illegal activity. It's for life-or-limb threatening situations. "They refuse to give me a refund" isn't, but "they are threatening to kill me because I asked for a refund" is. -Captain Trips
  • Damn. Both the lady AND the cashier need a sound beating. -Seamus
  • you deserve a brick today -stiffarm
  • I don't really speak ghetto, but I'll give it a go ..."Shaniqua, STFU bitch!" -lineswine
  • How about this angle. You call the police if someone steals from you right? How it this not 5th degree theft? She gave them $ and nothing was given back. -burrkiss
  • Burrkiss, no one ever said this was not theft. Yeah, it was, of a form. But theft is NOT a 911 situation. Whose life was endangered? -Captain Trips
  • I "could" see her calling the police about theft. But there are two points to look at here, 1. it was over 2$ and 2. On all three calls and while be arrested, she stressed that she wanted the Mcnuggets, she even stated it was a McNugget emergency. If she stressed the THEFT, this might not have gotten this big. -neuman1812
  • Severance Package -

    Come on! How may of you are just dying to say this?

    Warning: Kinda NSFW.

    [By: Stryker One / 2009-02-28]
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  • Do you like ice cream? <tink tink> -kennz
  • So say we all... -RiffRaff
  • "Kinda" NSFW? Foamy is never "kinda" NSFW. Sound warning... it's SFW only if you have headphones. -chazz
  • Thanks for the early morning laugh I needed that! -THETECHFROMHELL
  • ...and the horse you rode in on! -SalParadise
  • God I love Foamy -burrkiss
  • is it the foamy with the spoken rant/? or the written one? -AdmiralLaurie
  • AJ - this most recent one is a spoken rant, not by Foamy but by the Smell representative he calls... -chazz
  • It could only happen in england - After the uproar of a baby's 13 year old father alfie it turns out there may be as many as two other teenage fathers to the baby, jeremy kyle (english version of jerry springer) must be drooling :) [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-02-23]
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  • And only an Irishman could mess up the link :P -smellystudent
  • It could only happen in england - After the uproar of a baby's 13 year old father alfie it turns out there may be as many as two other teenage fathers to the baby, jeremy kyle (english version of jerry springer) must be drooling :) (oh and i didnt balls it up there seems to be a max url length i didnt notice) [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-02-23]
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  • Why is this girl so famous? It's not uncommon, so why is she getting so much attention? -AdmiralLaurie
  • It's not so much the girl, who as a 15-year old muum isn't that unusual nowadays. It's the 13-year old (alleged) father that is causing the fuss -Shaede
  • In America,All these children would be arrested for some sort of sex crime and be forced to register as a Sex offender for life. -neuman1812
  • next hot news will be this girl turns out to be his cousin or something :-P -r3tude
  • Eastbourne is an unlikely place for 'em, but can anyone else hear banjos? -Gromit
  • neuman...what? Not in the south it wouldn't! -lineswine
  • Neuman1812: In West Virginia, They call those people " kinfolk " . ;-) </Runs> -Necros
  • Happy Birthday Uncle Dad.... -vacuumtubes
  • This is why parents need to resume beating their children. When I was 13 and/or 15, my parents would have killed me for having sex with "Up to 8 possible teenage boys". Or even one for that matter. And unlike so many of my classmates, I've managed to stay not pregnant at age 24... -LazyLemming
  • It could only happen in Ireland (again!) -

    Y'know, if I'd told this story without posting proof, no-one would EVER believe me...

    [By: Gromit / 2009-02-19]
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  • Them oul culchie garda cant be expected to have intelligence you know! Would hamper their violent streak! -starfishmagnet
  • What does that say about Polish drivers? -Seamus
  • "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is License... Drivers License!" -Voz
  • Hehe... El Reg had a decent write up about this too. Worth a good chuckle. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/02/19/prawo_jazdy/ -cyberblade3001
  • Personally, I found it almost more humorous that the BBC story was accompanied by a map of Poland rather than Ireland. -rdwells
  • Nuther T Shirt Idea - Says it all, especially after my last post. [By: vacuumtubes / 2009-02-12]
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  • That is great. Simple yet to the point. :) -conundrum
  • Linux 101 Hacks - free ebook -

    Yup, another Linux book on free download.

    Will the fun never end? :-)

    [By: Gromit / 2009-02-12]
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  • Buuuuttt... requiring a registration / email address? Hmmm... I'm not liking that idea, personally. (Don't get me wrong - thanks! Just... "Free" should be FREE to me, issall.) -ShujinTribble
  • No, yer daft Yank, just scroll down to the Download link, the password is needed to access the page but there's NO REGISTRATION. I dunno what you've been sniffing, 'tribble, but I wish you'd hand it round... :-) -Gromit
  • Thanks, Gromit! That one's fairly comprehensive and certainly fits my budget. :) -Tekkie
  • I created a new email and "club" persona on hotmail for just such things. Apple.com has had that email address for years. Stupid iTunes. -Biosynthetic
  • I just like the fact that I didn't need to register or give an e-mail address, there was an easy-to-use download link with the password right by it. *bfeg* -Grue
  • I can only plead pain and lack of sleep... Sorry and thank you. -ShujinTribble
  • Would you (or anyone else) mind posting the old link to the other Linux eBook? I formatted, and forgot to put it my "saves". Please, please, please? -ThinTheHerd
  • I feel silly- never noticed the "more links" link, hiding in plain sight. It's all good now. -ThinTheHerd
  • TechChuff - good UK tech satire and news site ; kinda like the Onion of TechCrunch or visa-versa. [By: cianw / 2009-02-05]
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    Hear Christian bale ROAR!!!! - The audio of the recently publicised meltdown/tirade by bale, WARNING it is NSFW unless you have headphones as there are more curse words then a drunken sailor concert! [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-02-04]
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    T Shirt Idea - Who'd like to see this on a T shirt? :-) [By: vacuumtubes / 2009-02-02]
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  • Try again, bad day--http://users.mw.net/~bmorris/epicfailrecordlogo.jpg -vacuumtubes
  • I'd like to see it as a small sticker used as the new "kick me" to put on the lusers' backs.... -Grue
  • i think the first link makes what you are trying to post very funny :) -gashach
  • I would rather see some text from a cup my company bought us a while back: Please wash all parts in warm soapy water before use. I like that one. -Freshwreckage
  • the logo for my (useless) vista repair disk! -stiffarm
  • Excellent Ubuntu book on free download -

    It's the Ubuntu Pocket Guide - comprehensive, ideal for anyone thinking of trying Linux. My kind of price, too...

    [By: Gromit / 2009-01-27]
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  • awesome - that will make for some nice light reading at work! -frprinterwiz
  • Excellent! Thanks for the link! -RiffRaff
  • “Microsoft has a majority market share in the new desktop PC marketplace. This is a bug, which Ubuntu is designed to fix." Best. First. Bug. Report. EVAH! -ShujinTribble
  • awesome! I'll add this to my "Beginning Ubuntu by Kier Thomas. I recommend anything he written for Linux.. -JoeLugian
  • Gnabbed - thanks, Claypooch! -Grue
  • Passed it round, made a few people happier. -AussieFoot
  • ...and on the same day my O'Reilly Ubuntu Hacks book arrived :) -smellystudent
  • Danged download URL resolves out to an IP address, which Websense promptly blocks. So much for at-work reading. Now I impatient wait out the rest of the day. Maybe it's the word 'download' in the URL that Websense pounced on .... -emdeebee
  • emdeebee - you've got mail! -Grue
  • Might actually persuade me to try my hand at linux again.... -CommanderData
  • Thanks! I've been needing a good (free!) guide, as I've been trying to teach a few technologically disinclined people... even if it's above their level, it's easier to translate it to Starfish. -DarthIndy
  • Redneck Sh*t - If true, one can only assume a disgruntled customer craftily resealed and returned a copy of Madden with a personal commentary of Walmart's client-base... [By: Animortal / 2009-01-26]
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  • Not to bash his mother, but how can you not notice if there's scotch tape on a package? Just wondering, but ya, someone needs to stop breathing, or have a chance encounter with mr. chucky boy.... -AdmiralLaurie
  • From the looks of it, it was re-sealed so well the staff, the customer, everyone was taken in. Tho, there's nothing to say it's not the customer just tryin' for a lawsuit (or free stuff) I guess. -rosemetal
  • My favorite comment on the story was "This is amazing because I actually bought a copy of "Redneck Shit" a few weeks ago and inside it the disc was Madden '09. I was a little bummed because The Cracker Barrel wouldn't replace it for me." Muahahahhaa!!! -Animortal
  • OMG! The kid got a prototype copy of Madden X. "Redneck Shit" is the pseudo-name given to it so people wouldn't steal it. -Biosynthetic
  • When it has to be done yesterday - When it has to be done yesterday, warn them that will involve the purchase of special equipment and they will be charged the full cost. [By: AussieFoot / 2009-01-22]
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  • Some of the comments were pretty funny. -Gunpe
  • I want one. Can anyone spare any change? <Heads for lart shelter> -kennz
  • I see.... -AdmiralLaurie
  • I paid for this three weeks from now. Why hasn't it been delivered yet? -MisterCommon
  • Unfortunately, there still be starfish. - Sounds dreamy, but consider that you'll still be surrounded by starfish. Among other marine species, though. [By: TheGhost / 2009-01-13]
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  • Aaugh! I can't swim!! dammit -Tekkie
  • But Ghost, think of the possibilities! These starfish don't call asking for a new mouse daily ... of course, the stinging is a different story altogether. :D -PCChaos
  • "they can't be too shy and they'll have to love the sea, the sun, the outdoors" OK, honestly people, how my of us do these requirement eliminate. -Stryker One
  • There's no point in you applying, old wraith - you wouldn't have a ghost of a chance. :-) -Gromit
  • considering it feels like about -50 this morning where I am, sign me up. I can deal with the starfish. -persephone
  • Whoever succeeds in this endeavor needs to restrain their natural tendencies. Mutilated starfish can regrow from the bits. A flamethrower would be a handy accoutrement! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • TDD - Considering all the water around them, wouldn't a certain element that reacts violently with it be FAR more... 'entertaining'?</High School Chemistry, anyone?> -ShujinTribble
  • ST- "So... dee, uhmmm..." element would react with the water and create unholy chaos for any starfish caught nearby! </more HS Chem. lab> -Voz
  • Looks great, except for the whole sun thing. I'll stick to the dark, thanks. The day star is trying to kill me. -TechnoTherapist
  • I live in Florida. I have all the requirements needed. I even talk to the people. -DarkRookie
  • No way, no how. Not gonna go near weather like that. -Divinar
  • No way, no how. Not gonna go near weather like that. -Divinar
  • Pretty cool little game - Totally sfw, plu it teaches you a thing or two about global locations but beware do not use unless you are really bored :) [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-01-07]
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  • I've done this game and I really enjoy it. There is a version on Facebook too. Ann -LadyLineswine
  • I actually did worse in my own country (USA) than on the international questions, in the early rounds. -OgdenTechGuy
  • Yay! 404 - The Flash game. I remember playing this on the Intellivision! -Biosynthetic
  • Did anyone find Carmen Sandiego? -lineswine
  • She's on the run from the FBI with Waldo/Wally. -flapjackboy
  • She's on the run from the FBI with Waldo/Wally. -flapjackboy
  • Yeah, Asian countries that were NOT China or Japan did me in! -udoshan
  • For Lineswine - I've already started running... [By: CommanderData / 2009-01-04]
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  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02exfOzdQOI the chorus says it all... (NO, it ain't anything Rick Astley-related Ulfgaard!) -lineswine
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHRuBIMKbCo Right back atcha, LS! -Ulfgaard
  • ...this one really is for CD! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhcflDSUMvc -lineswine
  • Jib-Jab rings in the new year! - Oh nuts! [By: unrenowned / 2009-01-02]
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    30GB Zunes failing all over the globe! - 30GB Zunes all over the planet rebooted around 2AM this morning, and have refused to boot up since! Oddly enough, it seems to be only 30GB 1st gen Zunes, and only those with the newest firmware. The incident has been informally labeled the Z2k9 bug. [By: linuxmatt / 2008-12-31]
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  • Sounds like '09 is going to start out with epic suckage for those that have to support Zunes. -Stryker One
  • BWAHAHAA! -unrenowned
  • I own a brick. A brick autographed by the Japanese rock band MUCC, but still, a brick. It's not that funny. -Paisley
  • As you probably already know, it's a Day 366 bug -- that particular Zune firmware can't handle a 366-day year. MS advises that you let the battery drain down, then reconnect the Zune to power after 1200 UTC 01/01/09. http://www.zune.net/en-us/support/zune30.htm -Robster2001
  • I have to agree with unreknowned, it sucks for those who own one, but it's still funny. -frprinterwiz
  • Whoopsie, Nice one M$ -CommanderData
  • A Micro$oft product with buggy software? Who'd a thunk? -lineswine
  • So, Microsoft's advice is to go 24 hours without this Microsoft item. I wonder if they'll continue that advice for other Microsoft items that have buggy software? -MisterCommon
  • Maybe the Zunes are following Dell's lead by taking a unpaid vacation... -teivrann
  • Ha! I sold mine to my ex a couple months ago when I got an iPod. I still hate Apple, but at least I can still listen to my music. -DarthIndy
  • My Creative Zen Micro may only have 6GB of storage, but the thing has been solid since the day I bought it 2 years ago. -TheCyberwolfe
  • Mac vs. PC - The ultimate showdown truly begins... [By: unrenowned / 2008-12-30]
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  • Oh I like this I like it! -RandalGraves
  • "pwnage.exe" -ThinTheHerd
  • Good gravy, that was awesome! I can't imagine the amount of work that went into that. :) -Tekkie
  • CAGE-MATCH!! -vacuumtubes
  • AH! I remember dis vun.... eet vas rendered on an Amiga by a leetle old lady from King-of-Prussia!</Chekov, Amiga Mavin> -ShujinTribble
  • Oh yeah... -RiffRaff
  • "Zomg! My robo balls!" <cries>. -Kiddingme
  • The smallest computer in the world.... - Now in Nano! [By: unrenowned / 2008-12-20]
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  • Ah Ah Choo!!! - OK now did anyone see where the Nano went ? -Wonko The Sane
  • *CRUNCH!* I found it!! -unrenowned
  • Isn't that how the Borg start your assumilation? -ShujinTribble
  • Nano? Did I hear Nano? :-) Season's Greetings all. Still lurking. -NanoGeek
  • It could only happen in Indiana... -

    Riff, VacuumTubes - if this is an example of the locals you guys have to deal with....MOVE.

    [By: Gromit / 2008-12-15]
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  • "Well, it works with toothpaste!" -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I wonder if they asked for tartan paint as well. -flapjackboy
  • Reminds me of sending a probie out for some 4-inch Stripe Paint, back in the F.D. days. *grin* -Grue
  • Gromit - don't leave me out! I'm here, too! -figglywig
  • "Striper, no striping....Striper, no striping....STRIPER, NO STRIPING!!<Pregnant pause>Awwww, MAAAAAAAANN!" (If you don't have kids, this'll go over your heads--just look up Dora the Explorer) -vacuumtubes
  • Gromit: These nuggets are everywhere; might was well stay here. -RiffRaff
  • Oh yes, vt, I got my fill of dora the deported..... Shudders. I need a drink -AdmiralLaurie
  • My response: "Yes Ma'am, but it only comes in red and white, and we are only authorized to sell it to some guy that lives up North at Christmastime." -ActingUpAgain
  • Actually, I've been thinking of remodeling the LART shelter. Do they have polka dot paint? -TheGhost
  • Ghost - If you talk to the woman in the yellow bikini, I'm sure you can get some. -ShujinTribble
  • VT, I probably shouldn't admit I know this but, it's Swiper, not Striper. -Jeckler
  • GET TO THE CHOPPA!! - Coolest thing ever.. [By: Animortal / 2008-12-12]
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  • If only there wasn't any screaming then it'd be pretty good! -Caboose447
  • If it bleeds we can kill it! -Gerund
  • Uhhh ... sorry, starfish don't bleed. -Gerund
  • Damn, I was thinking it was just gonna be silly, but it crushes! -udoshan
  • Happy Birthday! - After 40 years, I only have one thing to say: I WAAANNNAAAA NNNEEEEEWWWW MMMMMOOOOOUUUUUSSSEEE!!!!!! This one is getting tired! [By: evolvedstarfish / 2008-12-09]
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  • Aww... Haooppy Birdy, Mousie! You don;t look a day over 'Senile'! -ShujinTribble
  • I'm 43 and still haven't kissed a girl. -billybien
  • P.S. 'appy birthday! -billybien
  • happy birthday -compbrat
  • ...and to think, the previous commenters might be thinking that is OUR mousie with the birthday, not the mouse they used to click "Post Comment".... -Grue
  • That's funny, Mousie doesn't look a day over 39! <Taxi!> -lineswine
  • Left for ... Bed? - Left for Dead game teaches us not to trust Bill.... Do not play this file at work, its inappropriate! No bad pictures, it's the audio that'll get you into trouble. :) [By: unrenowned / 2008-11-25]
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  • That's some crazy editing they did. :) -Tekkie
  • oh man, who to send that to first. strangely enough, i think my boss would get the biggest laugh out of it -razmann
  • Now all we need are some precogs. - Tom Cruise is optional. [By: TheGhost / 2008-11-21]
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  • Yeah, but will it play Doom? -flapjackboy
  • Cooooooool interface. But getting my boss to buy me 42" or bigger plasma monitors might be a bit difficult... -Divinar
  • Someone found a new use for all those Nintendo Powergloves. -AmazingKreskin
  • Sweeeeeeeet. -RandalGraves
  • oh gods, can you imagine the new ts calls? sf: I keep waving but it just scrolls.... headdesk -AdmiralLaurie
  • Interactive porn anyone? -evolvedstarfish
  • Oh, I just imagine having to help frustrated older users in my computer lab with this thing. "My arthritis won't let me move my hand the way this thing wants me to!" -NetOwl
  • Its cool and the games would be sweet but its not practical in this day and age. Be interesting to see the hardware and the software that this system requires. LOL -Crai
  • Cool ! Now we can be just like all those "hackers" in the movies fighting viruses by waving your arms around like Joe Cocker having an epileptic fit -Spyder19
  • Hey, return of Gorilla Arm syndrome. -Geminii
  • To quote from them, "...predicated on universal human expertise...". Well, there's the flaw, right there. :-D -ThinTheHerd
  • Problem, we're not fit enough to stand there and flail like a drunken monkey all day. Doesn't work, you'd need to retrain everyone, and them get them used to the monkey flailing movement, which would lead to sore muscles etc until folks adjusted. Cannot see this ever being anything but a Hollywood pipe dream and script kiddie fantasy. -NightRain
  • Uh Oh! Here come the Hentai games! -Biosynthetic
  • I just want to play star craft 2 on it one time. -SwizzleStix
  • I am an Operating Thetan...all your interfaces are belong to me! -lineswine
  • You don't F with Tech Support... - I know not everybody follows the same webcomics as I do, but I thought this was a great one that you could print out and add to your collection ... *you know you have one* [By: unrenowned / 2008-11-20]
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  • Probably a good idea to read the back issues of that one so you know who Binky is... http://www.ubersoft.net -chazz
  • Sony Bio Battery power from grape juice - I wonder what they'd do on Red Bull? :) [By: Tekkie / 2008-11-19]
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  • With Red Bull? Why, it will give it wings, of course! :P <drinks a Red Bull and flies to the LART shelter> -TheGhost
  • China Leading the way again - Wish the rest of the world would follow suit but I doubt it :)

    [By: Armakuni / 2008-11-17]
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  • This portion of China football brought to you by, Melamine. The best in industrial proteins. -Biosynthetic
  • Now, if we could just get rid of it everywhere else (both kinds of football) -Divinar
  • Any "sport" that is allowed to end in a tie, isn't a sport. <Let the flames commence> -Stryker One
  • I wouldn't watch this commercial! - although, it does bring memories.... (Click on the submitter's link to watch the rest.) [By: TheGhost / 2008-11-16]
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  • @$#&% I'm old... -RiffRaff
  • I <3 John Cleese!! Thanks, TheGhost. :) -Tekkie
  • Gromit's newest adventure - It looks like it's going to have as many bad puns as our own Gromit. :) [By: Tekkie / 2008-11-11]
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  • MMMMmmm... Master Loaf Gaaahhhhggghh! *drool* -billybien
  • "‘who-doughnut’ mystery" oh jesus :) -starfishmagnet
  • Albatross ! < Running and Giggling > -Necros
  • Well, it keeps the dough coming in. I've done some flaky things but this takes the biscuit. Still, that's the way the cookie crumbles - I'm still in work so that's a small crumb of comfort... ;-) -Gromit
  • Bravo good sir, bravo :) -starfishmagnet
  • And hopefully Wallace will determine if "Piella Bakewell" likes cheese from the beginning this time.... -Divinar
  • For your consideration.... - I figure this may help with the recent political situation! [By: Grue / 2008-11-06]
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  • Thanks! It just needs a flowers and unicorn background. (Okay, is there a lart shelter around here somewhere?) -concept14
  • I prefer this one, personally... http://www.aprilwinchell.com/2008/11/05/tuesday/ -NightSteel
  • um, why the fsck have a pic of text? w.t.f!?? -AdmiralLaurie
  • Thanks Grue - just what was needed here. -Gromit
  • A pic with text ? I knew AL was faking it! < LART Shelter! GO! > -Necros
  • Damned inconsiderate, really - the least they could have done would have been to use a Braille font... (Move over Necros, I'm comin' in!) -Gromit
  • <enters the lart shelter> allright, which one of you said that? :P -AdmiralLaurie
  • Seems alot like the "end of the internet page" minus the big red button. -Grembo
  • RiffRaff... er... Obama, 44th President - You tried your best Riff; for now, let's see how this guy does. Heck, we can always vote him out right? ... Right? ... [By: unrenowned / 2008-11-05]
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  • To be completely honest, if he surrounds himself with capable people, he'll be a fantastic president. If he doesn't fill in his own weaknesses with the strengths of others, we'll have at least another 4 years of our current catastrophe. -exzyle2k
  • The Large Hadron Collider works. We're living in a parallel universe. And we are SOO screwed... -Spyder19
  • Welcome to 4 years of socialism. Not that I think McCain is any better but he just scares me less. -Crai
  • I'm very disappointed. I was SO counting on a massive, nationwide write-in campaign to keep both those fatheads out of the White House. -charred
  • I just hope that half of what I heard about obama is false. -compbrat
  • <flame war warning> I'm with Carlos mencia on this. I'm glad he won, because the next person of african-american decend that tells me that racisim is alive, I'll just pull out Obama 's picture. -neuman1812
  • It's still Bush's fault.... :-) -vacuumtubes
  • Why is everybody so down on socialism? It beats a dictatorship. (note-I am not agreeing or disagreeing on whether Obama is socialist, I'm just saying what's the big deal about socialism) -SillyGirl
  • as long as we keep our basic freedoms -compbrat
  • Heck, I'm glad he won. He's a lot better looking than McCain and not as brainless as Palin :p -CommanderData
  • The electoral college is a funny thing - because my state went with McCain, my vote didn't matter, yet the guy I voted for won anyway. Meh, like I've mentioned on another site, I focus on the state and local elections so I don't get upset - at least there my vote counts! -ActingUpAgain
  • Hey, I'm just gonna cling to my Guns and My Religion. Hopefully Biden will prevent Obama from trying to take my guns from me as I really don't want to start having to practice hitting a moving target from the roof of my house with a CROSSBOW - although I'm sure Sarah Palin would have no trouble at all there, I mean it must be much harder to hit a damn Caribou from a helo. -GoblinKing
  • I voted for Obama. Mrs. udoshan voted for McCain. If we'd BOTH stayed home, NOTHING would have changed. Then again, if MANY people stayed home...well, lets just ay RiffRaff would've had a better chance. -udoshan
  • Any rumors that Bush is trying to claim squatters rights to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, and is going to have the locks changed are to be denied... (It's nothing against Obama, it's just Bush does not want to leave...) -Wonko The Sane
  • I'm glad he won, just because now when I move back to Detroit, when I hear someone say "The white man holds us down." I get a fair excuse for punching em in the nose. -LazyLemming
  • Just noticed I made that joke on another post. Damn. -LazyLemming
  • Pfft. Cries of "Racism!" aren't going to lessen now that Obama's been elected. The same idiots will be hollering it every time any member of Congress disagrees with him! -charred
  • Couldn't they have just lit up Rhode Isalnd Gold? You know.. for ME? Maybe? I mean.. What's one little dinkey Electoral College vote? C'MON! GIMME A GOLD DAMNIT! -ShujinTribble
  • Obama is either going to be seen as the man who continued Bush's legacy or allowed the middle east to become glass. Unfortunately, I can't predict which course he would choose. -adarklite
  • From what I know, obama is going to pull us out of iraq and continue apligizing for them blowing us up. -compbrat
  • Let's assume Obama is able to do everything he says he is going to do. It's going to take a minimum of 1 year to start digging this country out of the hole it's in. Even then it's going to take another 4 to 6 to really stabilize this country and that's thinking positively. Frankly, I hope he can do half the good he preached about. -unrenowned
  • at least we now have a chance. -AdmiralLaurie
  • LazyLemming; I won't give a White-Man-Holds-Us-Down speech if you don't pretend that racism is COMPLETELY dead. (NOTE: I didn't say OVERCOME...) Yes, this proves that a Black man (okay, HALF-Black Man) can be a viable candidate and WIN the Presidency. Heaven help him however, if he really WAS a Muslim! In all fairness, I agree that frivolous claims of racism ARE annoying; to me, they're embarrassing! -udoshan
  • The Dems can have mu Gun one Bullet at a time. Then they can pry it from my cold dead hand. As a military man I will be dammed if im allowing anyone to take my rights. I swore to defend my country against all threats foreign or domestic. -Crai
  • Republican, Democrat... They're both fucking stupid and should be abolished. I'm sorta thinking this whole "two-party" thing stopped working back in the 1980's. We just haven't realized it yet. -Seamus
  • Skin color? That's so 20th century, feh. Call me aging and cranky (but at your own risk), but Obama is just too damned YOUNG and SKINNY, if you ask me. On the other hand, McCain was too OLD and Palin too much like my younger sister (who I would never want anywhere NEAR the White House, yet alone potentially occupy it should her predecessor suddenly keep over, or potentially become the first President to develop Alzheimer's DURING his administration.) Therefore, young and skinny, both of which will be taken care of in due time by the Stress of the Office (I'm sure) is acceptable. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop grumbling in envy, mind you (young? I was young--once. Skinny? Last time was about age ... six. Mumblety-mumble YEARS ago.). but I'm just saying .... -emdeebee
  • I'm sick of hearing that Obama is a socialist. He is a centerist constitutional scholar! Remember when Clinton was Prez? Everyone was making money, our budget had a surplus, and no one had to go to war for two years straight! Obama will surround himself with those same people and fix this fk'd up country. -billybien
  • If anything this just proves that the average black person in America is much more racist than the average white person. Obama will hardly govern from the center. He has the most liberal voting record of any senator. He's voted to take away guns every time it comes up. He's proposed nationalizing the Oil industry, the healthcare industry, and the banking industry. He ran on a populist message that people who have 'too much money' should have it taken from them and given to those who have less. Even though he's a 'constitutional scholar', he's been quoted as saying that the supreme court should reinterpret the constitution to all for redistribution of wealth. One of our most basic freedoms is that you get to keep what you earn. Well, not any more. His policies will drive rich people and corporations out of this country. What do you think that'll do for jobs? He's been quoted as saying that he wants to institute a 'cap in trade' system with the goal of bankrupting the coal industry. We're already going to have energy shortages across the US this year, what happens when the coal industry can't build any new plants to meet demand? He's anti-nuclear, anti-drilling, and anti-coal. Where are we going to get the energy that we need? From the rays of sunshine that fly out of his butt? Add on top of that the fact that he wants to significantly reduce out military in a time when China and the USSR and starting to flex their muscles and you have a recipe for disaster. Oh yeah, those 500 billion in new programs that he's proposed? Isn't our debt high enough. Either Obama was lying about most of that, or he's lying about governing from the center. Either way, we have a proven liar in the office of president and he hasn't even taken office yet. -scooby111
  • Oh and for the people who he surrounds himself with argument... Here's his chief of staff. http://www.theagitator.com/2008/11/06/rahm-emanuels-universe/ -scooby111
  • I'm with crai... I too am a military man and my guns ARE my religion. *Starts quoting Ezekiel 25:17 while topping off all three mags of his Glock, seating one firmly in place, chambering a round and checking sights* Here at our *church* in times of trouble we have readings from the gospels according to Colt, Glock, Beretta, Smith & Wesson, H&K, and Sigsauer; Chapters 9, 40, 45. In dire circumstances we can even turn to the words of St. Mossberg and Remington - or take solace in the comfort of the 357th psalm in the book of Magnum. -GoblinKing
  • Billy, we were also attacked from terrorists yearly if i remember correctly -compbrat
  • Gee, scoob. That's a lot of FUD. I'm not partisan, myself - though I shouldn't be surprised that every time a Democrat gets elected everyone screams "OMGTHEYSTAKIN'MAHGUNS!" You do have a say in the matter. I'm all for the 2nd Amendment; I learned to responsibly handle and use a firearm at the age of 12, but the extremists - ON BOTH SIDES of the gun control debate - need to shut the fuck up. -Seamus
  • On that note, the AWB was a /BAD/ idea. The anti-gun crowd should take note of that. -Seamus
  • It could only happen in Wales... -

    Attention all sheep-lovers (ahem) - let the comments begin!

    [By: Gromit / 2008-10-10]
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  • Where was it that an entire herd of 14 cattle were recently shot to death for threatening to get on a highway? Oh thats right, here in Toronto. I think the kid would have been more 'horrified' if they witnessed that than a single sheep shocked. -evolvedstarfish
  • Now gromit dont be so insensitive you know damn well thats welsh foreplay!!! <BFEG> -starfishmagnet
  • Don't taze me Baaa! -Tarantulus
  • ...somehow I just can't picture the sheep rioting over police brutality. -TheGhost
  • They all sound like those delusional PETA folks. -OgdenTechGuy
  • Hey the sheep should count itself lucky. My dad's buddy drives a silverado and intentionally runs over any edible animal he finds in the road. -LazyLemming
  • What? Haven't seen the movie Black Sheep? -MaskedMarauder
  • RiffRaff for President Official Website - It's not much, but I hope to add to it and tweak a few things. I'll be adding an e-mail address, of course. I'm open to suggestions from my TSC brethren and sistern. Special thanks to Lineswine for registering the domain for me! [By: RiffRaff / 2008-10-10]
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  • So how are we going to keep Putin from rearing his head in Alaska if Mmmmkayn isn't elected? -billybien
  • *stands up and claps* Too bad I can't vote for you. I have my own voting to do on Tuesday. -evolvedstarfish
  • I can't vote for you, I live in Oz. -Gerund
  • Already making progress http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=379346&altf=Sjgg&altl=Sbgg -Divinar
  • I can't vote for you either, but I can and will ensure that your first Presidential visit to the UK will be turned into one hell of a party. ;-) -Gromit
  • Sorry, Boss, I've already chosen my vote and slogan: "Screw the other two - I'm voting LIBERTARIAN!" -ShujinTribble
  • I'm thinking maybe we should vote in a popular porn actress. At least when the country gets screwed, it'll be with a contented smile and a whole lot more relaxed! -unrenowned
  • I'd vote for you, but first I need to know your platform. For example, what is your position in a gay relationship? <BEG> <Locks the LART shelter and activates all defenses> -TheGhost
  • Ah, if only the Libertarian Party had nominated an actual libertarian this year. -concept14
  • Would that be between you and Riff, Ghost ? Or are you just speaking generically ? And what would Magenta say? For that matter, what would Cyan say ? That's not even taking into consideration what Yellow would say... -Spyder19
  • Ghost: My position in a gay relationship is usually watching with great interest from the sidelines, assuming they're both female, of course. *bfeg* -RiffRaff
  • Can I be head of the CIA? I'll share some good surveillance video with you if you appoint me. :) -clockkingfl
  • I wanna have a position that's so far above top secret that even *I* don't know what it is that I do, oh, wait... -Spyder19
  • Don't get me wrong, I don't have a position that's top secret, I just don't know what it is that I do -Spyder19
  • I am tempted to vote for ya just to see if it makes the news. I was thinking of writing in noneof theabove, and then changing my name. Its just really bad when our choices are old shit and really bad shit. (i dont mind the age thing it just concerns me that he might not make it. Well at least we could stare at a hot VP ;) ). -MrJay67
  • And here in Hoserland, we get to vote Tuesday between Mr. Meany, Mr. Doofus, Mr. I-don't-understand-the-economy, Ms. Environment-Single-Issue, and Mr. Separatist. Oh, joy. -chazz
  • Riff your take on the 10th amendment is EXACTLY my sentiment. We've become "America" instead of the "UNITED STATES of America." -LazyLemming
  • I'm totally writing you in and taking pictures. Hell, I'd give out photocopies to everyone else in line if I was allowed. -RA
  • sweet, now I don't have to write in Santa -pSyche
  • You've got my vote. -TechnoTherapist
  • I want a shirt. The front would say "Riffraff for President". The back side would say "Oh, like you really think we're gonna get anything but riffraff anyhow...?" (Of course, the starfish would never get the idea that the whole thing was case-sensitive, but that's fish for you. As M. Lackey says, you can't live with 'em; can't change the operating system.) -lowlyte
  • Updated with e-mail link now. :~} -RiffRaff
  • can i be minister of defense,homeland security and high excutioner? -postal tech
  • I want to be head of the Department of Tech Support. I envision an army of 10,000 Shockey Monkeys to do my bidding. I got your "Any Key"! -Biosynthetic
  • Um.. you know we can't just write RiffRaff on the ballot. We need a real name. -unrenowned
  • I disagree. "RiffRaff for President" is making a statement as well as voting. There are enough people who know my alter-ego is RiffRaff that validating it shouldn't be a problem. -RiffRaff
  • I have video evidence of everyone calling you RiffRaff (or just Riff)if you need it :) -evolvedstarfish
  • ...just as long as Burrkiss doesn't get included in the supporting evidence. "Riffy-Poo" just won't help the identity issue at ALL! *bfeg* -Grue
  • This is all well and good, but in the end we'll still be stuck choosing between a Socialist masquerading as a Democrat and a Democrat pretending to be a Republican. *sigh* -charred
  • Does no one know what a socialist actually is, or what a socialist government looks like? ProTip: Check out the history of Soviet Russia. They weren't communists. -Darkridr
  • Lineswine for PM! -CommanderData
  • Some questions for the pres: 1. What is your stance on relations with the UK? (should we for instance have to engage our forces everytime the US goes to battle). 2. What is your stance on whether Roe V Wade should be overturned? -CommanderData
  • Darkridr, socialism is an economic theory that marks a transitional phase from capitalism to communism. Where socialism would be "from each according to their ability, to each according to their deeds," communism would be "from each according to their ability to each according to their needs." While the USSR was constitutionally socialist, the government was essentially indistinguishable from the KPSS, or Communist Party of the Soviet Union, for most of its history. Therefore, while the USSR was economically socialist, it was politically communist. -charred
  • Riff-Raff. What is your policy on starfish contraception and abortion? -formatCdrive
  • Riff-Raff. What is your policy on starfish contraception and abortion? -formatCdrive
  • Well, the Constitution is pretty vague on the rights of echinoderms, but if we start enforcing contraception and abortions for starfish, isn't that starting down the slippery slope? -RiffRaff
  • There is an alternative solution to the contraception/abortion Riff, just revoke all blindingly obvious labels like "Warning contents are hot" on coffee etc, and let natural selection clean out the gene pool. -PID1
  • *wipes eyes* yes! yes! yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm voting for you this November! -AdmiralLaurie
  • As they say "Vote early and vote often" -SillyGirl
  • Sorry, Riff, but I had to vote for someone I thought might actually win. I like your platform, but until third party candidates become viable, I've got to vote for the lesser of two evils, lest the greater of them take office. -NightSteel
  • PETA is at it again - Now they are going after Ben And Jerry's for abusing those poor cows... [By: garwain / 2008-10-01]
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  • So, are Ben and Jerry going to invite 'em over for a Bar-B-Que to talk it over ? <GRIN> -Necros
  • Hmmm, are they going to be hiring more milkers? I'd sign up! -SalParadise
  • This tripe has been around for a week or so, now. Ben & Jerry's response: "Ewww!" Plus, human breast milk doesn't have the right fat content for ice cream. -Seamus
  • So forceably milking cows is 'badddddd' but forceably milking human women is fine? Who's in charge of that campaign? Burkiss?? -CommanderData
  • PETA=People Eating Tasty Animals! -atomicbill
  • Amazin art video - Amazin is the only word i can come up with wont even describe the vid watch for yourself, i will say it is sfw though [By: starfishmagnet / 2008-10-01]
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  • I'd seen an exerpt of that before, but that whole video is trippy. -DedSysOp
  • For Katinahat and all other mac fangirls - I wouldn't play with if you are at work and others can see your screens, nothing overt, but in conservative environments it may be considered questionable. The perfect toy for mac fangirls. [By: virusjtg / 2008-09-30]
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  • *laughing* I saw this video awhile ago, remembered it just from the title (and closed it before it could play, could very easily be considered NSFW). Just remember, as a rule, Apple devices do not have user replaceable batteries, and a replacement from Apple will cost you almost as much as a new device.. -NightSteel
  • We SOOOO know you have these in at least 3 colors yourself Virus! Bwahaha! -RA
  • Eh, I'm merried, don't need it. -virusjtg
  • Then you're doing it WRONG! -RA
  • Hey, I haven't seen anything from Kat of late (or am I blind?). She doing okay? -Seamus
  • The Case of the Missing "t" - According to The Register, Cisco's UK site was unexplainably missing all of it's lowercase letter t's last Thursday. Since they've been unable to get a response from Cisco as to the cause of the problem, they've created a contest for the best (or funniest) explanation that can be provided by us readers. I consider you to be some of the wittiest people I know, so I thought you may want to have a go at winning the contest. Good luck! [By: BarmanVarn / 2008-09-29]
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  • Because they can't pronounce the letter "b"? -Tekkie
  • because all the t had been thrown into Boston Harbor? -figglywig
  • Medical acronyms & LART equivalents -

    Nice to know we're not the only profession that does this...

    [By: Gromit / 2008-09-26]
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  • Pumpkin positive. LOL. -adarklite
  • They missed the term for young motor bike riders - Organ Donors. -Gerund
  • "Dr Fox is keen to point out that neither he, nor the other authors of the paper, published in the journal Ethics and Behavior, actually advocate using any of the terms." We believe ya d.o.c (dumbass on-record coward) -starfishmagnet
  • I worked in a hospital for MANY years. And we did do this a lot. -Starfury
  • i just started working in an IT dept for a medical care provider. i'm interested to see how many of these i'll see. -razmann
  • I like the term ART used by paramedics to describe the recently deceased. It stands for Approaching Room Temperature. -atomicbill
  • Wow, it's amazing how close that is: CTD - Circling the Drain vs. CTD - Crash to Desktop. -Biosynthetic
  • As a former EMT (Extraordinary Masochistic Tendencies), I could go on for hours with these. For example, there's the crinkly (old) Bounceback (person who keeps returning to the hospital for the same condition) Pxs (patients) who are in PBS (pretty bad shape) and FTD (fixin' to die) because their MUH (messed up heart) went Code Blue (cardiac arrest) again. Everyone BMWs (bitch, moan and whine) about these runs (emergency response), in part because the Px is almost always a Reeker (smelly Px) that's gone Code Yellow (pisses themself) -- and sometimes Code Brown (figure it out yourself, it forms a pattern) -- which befouls the VBA (valuable breathing air) in the trauma twinkie (Euro-style ambulance) and is particularly unpleasant for the Code Surfer (person who straddles the gurney to provide chest compressions while transporting the Px), but also because the HIBGIA (had it before, got it again) is often RTL (running towards the light, or dying), which makes the run either FPO (for practice only) or a WOFTAM (waste of f***ing time and money) when the Px is too old to be GPO (good for parts only). These BUNDYs (but unfortunately not dead yet) are worse than a Code Purple (call to dead body) because the Px's family often still has hope, so one has to make an effort for their sake, whereas on a Purple Run (again, figure it out) one can only MFB, CFD (measure for box, call for dirt). -charred
  • Oddly enough, a lot of the acronyms Charred listed we also used at a haunted house I worked a few years ago - especially the "Codes Yellow" and "Brown" -ActingUpAgain
  • Do ya think that UBI would work well in both fields? "Unexplained Beer Injury" is a very flexible term, after all. -Voz
  • Voz, UBIs were, unfortunately, extremely common. -charred
  • for a more complete list :) http://www.messybeast.com/dragonqueen/medical-acronyms.htm -razmann
  • I remember one from my college days in while studying for my healthcare degree (yep, I work in medical offices): GTMJACB. Translation: Gone To Meet Jesus, Ain't Coming Back. Written down by EMT's while transporting patient back to hospital in ambulance. Wouldn't you know that there was a wrongful death suit. And guess what happened to the EMT who had to testify to its meaning. -PCChaos
  • From a patient chart: POF until condition improves. POF = pillow over face. That would solve a great many problems in the world of Windows tech support. -clockkingfl
  • Bring Your Own PC to Work? Not! - I'm sorry, but this has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of.....The company states "the workers essentially take on the company's technology purchasing and maintenance responsibilities". Yeah right, we all know that as soon as the PC crashed, it's up to IT to fix it. And all of the different harward configurations have to be a pain. [By: BarmanVarn / 2008-09-25]
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  • Are they on crack? -Slartarama
  • In the Citrix situation mentioned where they are heavily leveraging virtualization, it does make sense. For most of my clients, however, this would not work. -TheCyberwolfe
  • Ding dong the witch is dead! - The mean ol' witch! The wicked witch! [By: unrenowned / 2008-09-25]
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    Flash game - In order to get rid of this drama about the previous link here is a sfw (as far as i can gauge) flash game try lookin at the girl without her noticing you lookin, Milwaukee's best beer based flash game [By: starfishmagnet / 2008-09-21]
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  • If you can't check out a woman without being so damned obvious, they maybe you NEED a giant can dropped on your head, Monty Python style! -udoshan
  • I must have missed that drama, what was it? -Tarantulus
  • Tarantulus, you're better off not knowing. Trust me. -Seamus
  • Seamus you can click "more links" and find out =) -LowLevelFormat
  • To do a little good. - This website was sent to me by our own Lineswine, who got it from ITNaziChick. It allows you to use Yahoo or MSN to send people virtual gifts. Every ten you send saves 1 square foot of rainforest. [By: halfstarfish / 2008-09-20]
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  • WARNING - it's a e-mail password harvester scam! By entering your password for the e-mail account you use to send the invitation or "gift", you're handing GoodTree a known-valid e-mail account AND the password used for it, AND the e-mail address for another person. Imagine how much spam and other crap will flood to others, if you give GoodTree the keys to your e-mail account and the related address book, as well as handing them all the data you've ever sent / stored / received through that account.... -Grue
  • Getting a little paranoid these days aren't we? Who are you working for again, Grue? Ahhh yes...those paragons of altruism, the U.S. govt.! -lineswine
  • Unfortunately, in this day and age, there's a chance Grue is right. More imporantly, the site is NOT run by the US Gov't - it's run by a private firm. If you feel perfectly safe handing over your password to a private entity that you've barely heard of before, go right ahead. Personally, I don't, so I won't, no matter how good the cause. I'd rather make a contribution somewhere and fill out the requisite form to get my company to match dollar for dollar. -virtualchoirboy
  • I received an email notification from them (possibly sent by a TSC member) and Googled it before following it up. It's looking horribly like a harvester scam and hell's going to freeze over before I hand them email access. LS, even paranoids have enemies, y'know. ;-) -Gromit
  • I just use the facebook application that does the same without requiring anything but, well, adding it on your facebook. -Ara
  • Beware of geeks bearing gifts.... -vacuumtubes
  • Halfstarfish: alright, we get the point that most *fish will do anything if it says free, but we are "professionals" *cough cough hack cough hack cough cough cough hack spit!* and we typically don't fall for this sort of thing. Would you please stop trying to test us? ;-) -unrenowned
  • To borrow from Babbage: "I cannot comprehend the confusion of ideas that could make one think my employer has a bearing on my opinion of this matter." I see a site that wants me to input a password for an unrelated site, it's automatically a scam. End of line. -Grue
  • In addition - Halfstarfish, Lineswine, and ITNaziChick were apparently acting in the best of interests. It's not a credit to ANYONE to slam any of these people in regards to this. Stuff happens, folks - suck it up and move along. -Grue
  • Okay, so.. why is this link still here, if it could be malicious? Wouldn't we all be better served if it were replaced ASAP? -NightSteel
  • Oooooohh.. Harevster scam! The terrorists must be behind it! Anyone with half a brain has several email addys anyway... their real one... and the crap ones they use to sign up sites and stuff... including THIS one. -Animortal
  • Just to prove the point, I've already begun to receive spam from this site into an email address I've only ever used for TSC. They've obviously harvested it from a member's address book. -Gromit
  • Knight Rider GPS - I am .. loving .. this... too much ... ((orgasm)) [By: LowLevelFormat / 2008-09-17]
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  • He sounds a little more, um, brittish(?) than I remember from the 80's - but I almost wish I hadn't bought ours last year. -Divinar
  • Ahhh, where would we men be without our toys? :-) -vacuumtubes
  • When this was first announced, I really, really wanted it. But it doesn't speak street names or work as a Bluetooth hands-free unit for a cell phone. You can get a GPS that does do these things for around the same price, and in this case, I have to choose functionality over form. -NightSteel
  • Large Hadron Collider webcam - For everyone to have a look at it and see it running i thought it was really interesting, and of course sfw [By: starfishmagnet / 2008-09-16]
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  • Someone gave me that link. Very cool! :) -Tekkie
  • I actually freaked a little when I saw that. -WalNut
  • How it works/what it does: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j50ZssEojtM and how they will stop it: http://www.spectrum.ieee.org/aug08/6558 (both SFW) -redevil34
  • Finishing Moves You May Not Remember - NT/OT but this had me cracking up. For all of you who loved and mastered the finishing moves in Mortal Kombat, heres a "video" of some moves you may not remember. Trust me, it's hilarious. [By: BarmanVarn / 2008-09-11]
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  • I guess even the great Shao Kon needs whackoff material.... -vacuumtubes
  • I loved Mortal Combat. Don't remember this one, lol. -FixitWench
  • "Well, uh.... **Finish Me**?" -Mushroom
  • Flawless Victory - Denied -Hawk
  • Uh, I'd be glad to take Sub-Zero's place. Oh, yeah. :) -Tekkie
  • Great... ALL my childhood memories have officially been perverted... So... What's next? -unrenowned
  • *Shakes fist.* Curse you, Rule 34!! -charred
  • Red Swingline Shirt - This site promotes a new shirt design every day, and then after the day is over the shirt is gone for good....cool idea. Today they are doing a "Red Swingline Stapler" shirt! [By: Hawk / 2008-09-10]
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  • Sweet, just ordered mine. -BarmanVarn
  • Some of you will hate me for this - Others like myself will enjoy it, great way to waste time for the engineering minds and is sfw [By: starfishmagnet / 2008-09-01]
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  • You're right... I hate you for this -srteach
  • http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=1210309 This is my favorite of my contraptions. I think mainly because the second flinger wheel on top was out of desperation, and worked purely through luck. -veaudaux
  • Thats the next flash game that gets to be blocked at work. It's going to be interesting how my coworkers will react. -adarklite
  • work? whats that? I have Engineers telling me what to do here! -neuman1812
  • NightSteel started a thread on this in the forum. Finished them all a couple of weeks ago. I posted some of my favorites there. -ActingUpAgain
  • Thats very reminiscent of the old game "the incredible machine". Hope I am not showing too much of my age. -RoadDemon
  • Thank you vx - I was bashing my brain on that one at lunch. I had built a conveyor belt out of stick fragments, but one kept getting stuck. -TheCyberwolfe
  • Damn you thrice to the same level of hell as my productivity has just fallen! :-) -SoldierJedi
  • The best design I've come up with: http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=881045 -Darth
  • I got a conveyor belt to work for a level, but then I decided I wanted to try something more elaborate. I can't believe I actually got this design to work: http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=1346494 -SillyGirl
  • This is my favourite solution... took me a while to get this working! http://FantasticContraption.com/?designId=1016266 -Smegger68
  • Ok...now I know what I can do to occupy all of my spare time...I'm in big trouble. -persephone
  • The differences between us - The difference between optimists, pessimists and tech support :) [By: CommanderData / 2008-08-29]
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  • What was in the glass? Scotch? Hallucinogen? The world will never know. MUAHAHAHAHAHA </evil laugh> -formatCdrive
  • What happened to my urine sample?! It was sitting right here! -Biosynthetic
  • The middle frame is wrong. An engineer? "The glass is too big." -chazz
  • Why is there liquid in the glass? -unrenowned
  • The Giant's Drink, man. Its the Giant's Drink. -adarklite
  • Absinthe. -vacuumtubes
  • adarklite: Reading Ender's Game are we? *knowing grin* -unrenowned
  • Always so concerned, with whats in the glass and how much of it, and how big hte glass... all miss the point. All that matters is that the glass is there, and it is our own. And so long as we have our glass, we determine what goes in, how much of it, and how/when it goes out. Be happy you have a glass, fill it often, and share it with others. -iamscoop
  • unrenowned-I've read it 5 times since I was 12. -adarklite
  • the geek - Time to upgrade the glass to allow for future expansion -madonnac
  • I think the glass would be 100% full: 50% with liquid, 50% with air. -MisterCommon
  • Do not try to fill the glass; that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no glass. -DrAardvarkian
  • The Customer Support Rep.: "Okay now hold the glass under the faucet. No.. UNDER the faucet. The faucet. The thing in your kitchen that water comes out of." *Headdesk* -LazyLemming
  • This calls for The ArachnoLART! -

    "They identified the spider using the internet," she said.

    It must be one pisser of a spider to be able to move the mouse around...

    [By: Gromit / 2008-08-28]
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  • You know, I haven't had a full cup of coffee yet, so it took me a moment to get what you were saying. It's not surprising that it could use the web. :) -Tekkie
  • It's easy for me... -Spyder19
  • it's really a friendly spider, it was just searching for keywords. -Ratfor
  • spiddy porn -neuman1812
  • It is in training for work at Google! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I hate spiders. And one THAT big in my house would freak me out. -Starfury
  • Rodney you plonker! -starfishmagnet
  • I thought it was a hobo spider at first. I'll have to look that critter up. -Seamus
  • Ah, here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solifugae It's an arachnid, but not an actual spider. -Seamus
  • Herpex - , 3 out of 5 doctors agree, it's a pill. [By: Gunpe / 2008-08-27]
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  • So, when the difficult questions arise about herpes, you just teleport away! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Ugh. I don't like the way they make Herpes seem like it's no big deal. It is. -Chromatix
  • Website is Down - Not sure if this has been posted here before, but it's definitely Main Page worthy... I'd rate this NSFW due to language and the image if a penis made from desktop icons. [By: exzyle2k / 2008-08-27]
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  • I've lost count how many times this has been posted! -Caboose447
  • Oh dear, oh dear... -

    Y'know, I'm REALLY beginning to worry about Wallace...

    [By: Gromit / 2008-08-26]
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  • Paging Mr. Park... Mr. Park, to Ward 7... You gotz some 'splainin' 'a do. -Seamus
  • I like your new scarf... -Wonko The Sane
  • and your new sunglasses! -Gunpe
  • Sigh.... - Behold, these are my customers.... [By: vacuumtubes / 2008-08-26]
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  • http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=33143 Let's try this again.... -vacuumtubes
  • Well, fuck it. I'm a memory. Forget me.... -vacuumtubes
  • The flaming skater? http://view.break.com/560709 -Ghaleon
  • apparently those guys didn't remember stop drop and roll, though i'm not sure if that still works if you SOAK YOURSELF IN GASOLINE FIRST! what a moron! -razmann
  • Has anyone heard anything about a bypass - And I don't even have my towel at the ready. [By: Stryker One / 2008-08-25]
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    Just making it easier for the terrorists - "I'm sure that in 1985 plutonium is available in every corner drugstore, but in 1955 it's a little hard to come by. " [By: Stryker One / 2008-08-23]
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  • eh http://www.unitednuclear.com/isotopes.htm has more choices. Usefull if you ever feel the need to build one of these http://www.fourmilab.ch/hotbits/ . -Amerefelie
  • 1200 counts per minute is pretty low-grade stuff. I suspect you could get a higher CPM for less money by buying canary-yellow paint (colored with uranium oxide). -chazz
  • cute poem in the comments... -srteach
  • *Quietly makes several thousand orders* -RandalGraves
  • About 1987 part of I-5 North was closed by a hazardous material spill. Someone dropped a 50 lb bag of iron odide. One of the guys I was working with said" I've got more iron oxide that that on my truck." This uranium ore is less dangerous that that iron oxide. -atomicbill
  • Uhm.. Beggin' the 'Bill's pardon, but.. Aint "Iron Oxide" commonly called, "Rust"? -ShujinTribble
  • Yes Shujin rust is iron oxide. But when you dump 50 lbs of the stuff on the freeway it is a breathing hazard. -atomicbill
  • I love what it says underneath. "What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?" Forbidden legos, gta 4, and of course, stink bombs(box of 36) -RoadDemon
  • This is great! I can finally get my time machine working. Now, if I could just get that bloody DeLorean to start... -TheGhost
  • Crafty Mythbusters - Warning: Toys may blow crap up while you sleep. [By: halfstarfish / 2008-08-22]
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  • Want! Just to have crap blow up while I sleep. -RandalGraves
  • Too cute. If the crochet pattern can be adapted to knitting, I know what I'm going to ask my mom for as a birthday present :) -Dreamstalker
  • Porno tech - See tsc through the eyes of a depraved mind (did burkiss write this?) i esp LOVE the post from gromit about his star, the url for the main page is http://www.pornolize.com/ and it is sfw [By: starfishmagnet / 2008-08-21]
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  • Definitely NOT SFW! And who knew that about Gromit huh? -FreakyFerret
  • The link (the main page one) is sfw, what comes out isnt obviously -starfishmagnet
  • Listen sunshine - what I do in the privacy of my own kennel is no-one's business but mine (and the bitch I entice therein). ;-) -Gromit
  • "Enticement." So *that's* what British canines are calling it. <bfeg> -RiffRaff
  • try clicking on this link in the pornalized site....it gets recursive! -gashach
  • I just left a pornolized version of cbc.ca on a workstation. I wonder how long it will be before someone notices 0-o. -formatCdrive
  • After clicking the same link in the translated version, I got this gem: "Welcome to Tech "Bitch" Support...". More followed but thought id spare the rest of the language. Im not sure it knew how appropriate that is sometimes. -MrJay67
  • LOL I had to stop at 13x reloading the page through the porno link. Too funny! -Caboose447
  • I guess I'm not a true geek - I haven't read any of these. [By: Stryker One / 2008-08-20]
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  • "Service Temporarily Unavailable The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to maintenance downtime or capacity problems. Please try again later." OOOOO! TSC = /.!!! -Ulfgaard
  • Working now. -Stryker One
  • Works for me, and I've only read 4 of the books (but I'm not into some of the classic sci-fi). Amusingly, I even have one of those books in my cube (Where Wizards Stay Up Late, good book too). -harrellj
  • I've read 10 of them... And I want to read some more of those novels-but all the non-fiction ones that I haven't read I don't really care about. I highly recommend history of the command line and the cathedral and the bazaar... -cyberblade3001
  • Owned on a massive scale! - "Microsoft's newer operating system, Vista, was not chosen.
    Lenovo chairman, Yang Yuanqing, was quoted as saying that because of the complexity of the IT functions at the Games, it was decided to not use the the more recent operating system. "If it's not stable, it could have some problems," he said. ".

    BWWAAAHHHAAAAHHAAAA!! [By: unrenowned / 2008-08-12]
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  • If they *really* wanted stability, they could have used this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Flag_Linux But then we wouldn't have had the great Gates pwnage of a BSoD during the opening ceremonies! -SalParadise
  • And for more opening ceremony scandals, the "girl in the red dress" was lip-synching to another girl's voice (who was considered by the Chinese Politburo to be too ugly) and the fireworks were digitally enhanced for the television audience. -Wraith556
  • screw china, I mean really, how are they any better than iraq, or korea? yet nobody boycotts the olympics. -Tarantulus
  • they're not better, just bigger - no one wants to piss them off... -Shaede
  • Tarantulus: sorry, not true. In 1980, a little country called "The United States of America" boycotted the Moscow Olympics in reaction to the U.S.S.R.'s invasion of Afghanistan. (If I may remind you, a group of "freedom fighters" was being backed in Afghanistan by the U.S. This group went by the name "the Taliban." To show our support for these "freedom fighters", we refused to take part in that year's Olympics.) In retaliation, the U.S.S.R. boycotted the 1984 Olympics. -Captain Trips
  • Actually I think it was the Mujahideen back in the 80s, which included many groups, the taliban amongst them. Also, I seem to recall that Britain and the US fought a war against each other once... people and politics change. -Learyban
  • Learyban -- all quite true. But my original point is still valid -- there ARE boycotts of the Olympics. -Captain Trips
  • Actually the fireworks scandal was dumb, several parts were considered too dangerous to have a chopper capture the shot, so they digitally recreated them. -LazyLemming
  • The best way to do this is to compete and totally humiliate the chinese. The biggest moral victory in the Olympics was in 1936 when Jesse Owens competed against and won humiliating victories against Hitler's Aryan athletes. Hitler was said to have stormed out of the stadium after refusing to shake Owen's hand. -adarklite
  • Actually the best and most lasting 'victory' over China is to help them raise their standard of living to the point where they want to enjoy the fruits of their successes. That, historically, has proven to be the most effective challenge to communism. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • From the "No shit, Sherlock" department. -

    Micro$haft are still lying in their teeth about how "successful" Vista is, claiming a Vista sale for every machine that gets "downgraded" to XP. The truth is, XP is STILL outselling Vista by a large margin. Surprise...

    [By: Gromit / 2008-08-11]
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  • But it's not Vista....it's new Mojave...<TINK!!> -vacuumtubes
  • Funny you say that. Just this weekend I "downgraded" (sic) two laptops and a desktop to XP. Even we the lowly ones are doing it. Hey M$! Get your head out of your a$$ and open your eyes! -TheGhost
  • Haha. This makes me remember reading somewhere that it was labeled as "returning to the familiarity of XP" or something like that. Come to think of it, I may have read it on a satirical site, but either way, BWAHAHA. Never admit mistakes, just release service packs. -beerman
  • Vista Security compromised? - LAS VEGAS -- Two security researchers have developed a new technique that essentially bypasses all of the memory protection safeguards in the Windows Vista operating system, an advance that many in the security community say will have far-reaching implications not only for Microsoft, but also on how the entire technology industry thinks about attacks.

    Anyone know if this is legit or full of shit? [By: Grayhawk / 2008-08-08]
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  • Slashdot seems to believe it... http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/08/08/1155208 -Gromit
  • Vista security. ... Vista, security... vista... security... ... nope, I just can't put it together. -TheGhost
  • When putting together an installation package it is possible to bypass or "trick" the OS when deploying. I worked with a couple of programmers a while back when we got the first MS SDK for Fister and I remember them doing it. I'll ask them. -formatCdrive
  • Great, just FREAKING GREAT! Now I have to fix MORE fscking computers! That's it! I quit! -unrenowned
  • All in the Fun World of Measures/Countermeasures... -vacuumtubes
  • LOl, just LOL - Sometimes when I am tired at work, I daydream of this. [By: formatCdrive / 2008-08-06]
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  • It would've been much cooler if the stick jumped onto the LINUX partition and battled TUX! -billybien
  • Thanks for sharing that! Very funny. :) -Tekkie
  • This was the first one of those I saw... http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=MUaSxZf35O8&feature=related -exzyle2k
  • The truth of why we haven't been visited - I guess we really need to get that fully realized AI up and running. [By: Stryker One / 2008-08-05]
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  • Greetings Earthlings. Take us to your meat head. What? Oh, you mean George Bush? -robbor
  • I dunno who wrote it - but I wanna have their man-babies. Right after I learn to breathe again! :) -Seamus
  • Boy, that text is RICH! -billybien
  • "YOU ... are a Meat Head." -- A. Bunker -Necros
  • "Who wants to meet, Meat.." CLASSIC!!! -neuman1812
  • So very, very, scary - This woman is totally batshit crazy. Take religion, paranoia & sheer lunacy & mix into a website SO WEIRD, it will take years of therapy to remove its' effects on your psyche. [By: lineswine / 2008-08-04]
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  • Good Lord! Oh, wait... I bet she's great in bed, that usually goes along with bat-shiat crazy, but there's no way she'd get my real name of phone number! -SalParadise
  • From just a quick look at the main page... it looks like the world's longest personal ad? -K9Insanity
  • She stares into me like the hypno-toad! Must do crackpot's bidding! -Divinar
  • Holy crap! Took forever for that page to load, and no wonder. 44 something MEGS of life stories, endless blather, and something...Wow... -Cyan
  • she looks deranged. she sounds deranged. you be the judge -compbrat
  • Ohhhhhhhhkaaaayyy now... SOMEbody's off of their medication! -Voz
  • Can I get a NSFW? And NSF eyes? And NSF sanity? -Rissa
  • "Looks like someone's got a case of the <Sundays>" /Office Space in some odd, wrong universe. -AngrySup
  • "It's a M*A*N, baby!" -billybien
  • The late great George Carlin would "pencil this person in for a visit from the angel of death" and real soon. -atomicbill
  • Ladies and Gentlemen, we have the winner of the "1st Annual Timothy Leary Memorial How Many Drugs Can You Be On At One Time" Contest. Our esteemed winner, Dr/Judge F(reakazoid) M(oron) Angel, has managed to successfully blend and consume a fascinating mix of Peyote, LSD, Jolt Cola, Spanish Fly, Lemon Juice, Cannabis, Mad Dog 20/20, Crystal Meth, Psilocybin, and Lemon Pledge. After downing this witch's brew, our winner then proceeded to bang out this website in a marathon 57 hour non-stop coding session, completely without sleep or food. Her heroic efforts are now presented here for your viewing pleasure. -TechnoVampire
  • Or you could be this person http://www.geocities.com/redmondrose/index.htm (WARNING!! Wear sunglasses when reading the webpage, the background gave me a headache) -formatCdrive
  • Over here she'd be known as Dagenham - 2 stops up from Barking. :-) -Gromit
  • At last! A female Mekbib! But will there be video of her consummating her marriage?! LOL! http://www.hebraist.us/M&PAdgehs.html -vacuumtubes
  • This might be the rare instance where siccing some site-jackers on it would be a net benefit to society! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Belfry? BELFRY?! This bat hasn't even worked out how to get out from under the friggin' BELL yet! -Seamus
  • She should get together with Jonathon Sharkey. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathon_Sharkey Wait, no she shouldn't. I think that's the Seventh Seal. -Biosynthetic
  • I couldn't stop reading... like a train wreck... only MORE horrible... keep the brain bleach... just give me the jackhammer... I won't be needing this pink, useless mass anymore. -TechnoTherapist
  • the death of the Free(as in freedom) net - Canadian ISP's are going to begin limiting the websites you can visit as if they are channels on a cable tv system, and if you visit a site not on your channels list, they charge you a fee. this is worse than Switzerland eavesdropping on every piece of data that passes physically through it's borders. [By: drachen / 2008-08-01]
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  • this one has been running around the intarwebz for a while. Until I see it, I don't think I can believe it. If it does happen, we do have choices... apart from the few big providers, there are a lot of small players which we can tap into. Also, it would require unilaterally changing contract terms, which I think would end up being legal material. -chazz
  • While I understand what the author is saying, he's wrong on one point. The internet isn't free (and never has been). Someone is paying the bill for the connection. We all pay our ISPs a monthly charge for the connection. That being said, it's an "all-inclusive" connection. I'm also crossing my fingers that since my ISP wasn't named (Shaw), hopefully it'll see a huge influx in subscribers when these other ISPs turn on this plan? -Bynar
  • I'm also going to mention this: http://arstechnica.com/articles/culture/customer-owned-fiber.ars which is also happening in Canada and has the potential to make it a lot easier to choose an ISP who hasn't bought into this limited-surf plan. -chazz
  • OMFG, I needed a good laugh, that site is hilarious.. Serious... *LOLOLOLOL* okay, seriously, this would cause everyone that already doesn't like Telus and those that don't care to go to Rogers and Shaw and everyone else etc in response. Good bye Telus/Bell if they ever tried it.. LOLOLOLOLOLOL -spectreoflife
  • Fail, i'd be in the streets protesting, and in the mean time the only way to effectivly track what sites you check (unless they feel like registering Every single IP for your allowed sites) is through their DNS. FreeDNS is around for a reason. -Ratfor
  • Wow, not just USA then. Is everyone else massively paranoid about what they look at online? The Golden Age of the Internet is long past. -Slartarama
  • are you Defending this Slart? -Ratfor
  • they really check everything that goes through?....that has to suck for the guys..=D -Gingy
  • Easy solution. Bore them with bullshit. Fill an external HD with game mods, free games from retro-remakes, Fanfilms, pictures of your children, holiday photos, whatever. But it must be fully legal material. And think of the poor sap who has to verify every last byte in a 500+Gb HD. -Wraith556
  • NSFW - pr0n for the blind - I hesitated to post this, as my intent is not to insult any of my sight-challenged brethren. I hope that everyone finds this as amusing as I did (amusing as in the narrations, not the service it provides), and I apologize in advance for any unintentional offense. The basis of this sight is that it provides (very detailed) audio descriptions of various pr0n seens found on various websites. On a side note: If you are interested you can actually sign up to be a contributor (of audio, not video, you pervs). Enjoy! [By: BarmanVarn / 2008-07-25]
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  • Wonder how NSFW that site might be - but I'm not gonna check now ;-) -Divinar
  • Their treatment of 2 Girls 1 Cup is a scream -- the guy is trying so hard not to break out laughing. (And those are SLASHES, not BACKSLASHES, you n00b!) http://www.pornfortheblind.org/audio/girlscupcom.mp3 directly. -Mushroom
  • "The basis of this sight" - I nominate this for best Freudian slip of the year! -Treker
  • Treker, i was SO laughing when I read that too! There's half chewed waffle all over my lap and desk now :( -RA
  • I guess Mom was right about masturbation making you go blind.... -Cogeno
  • But at least now we know where BT gets his pr0n. ;-) And there is hope for burrkiss ... < LART Shelter! ... ahh forget it. I'd only die tired. > -Necros
  • War Games 25th Anniversary Showing - One night only, Thursday July 24, special showing of the original "War Games" movie, plus interviews and sneak-peak at the so-called sequel. A must-attend event for the elder geek generation! [By: RiffRaff / 2008-07-23]
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  • "sneak peek" of something that's been available for download for a month now... :) -Mushroom
  • Interesting. Just yesterday, I scored as David Lightman on a "which hollywood hacker are you?" quiz. How about a nice game of chess? -Seamus
  • PHB "System down" switch ;-) - This is for all you who maintain a network or somesuch ;-) [By: NordicPT / 2008-07-18]
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  • *snicker* Sent to all the execs at Peyton Place. *bfeg* -RiffRaff
  • copied > printed > Posted on managers desk -neuman1812
  • For some odd reason, the WP took down the strip entirely from their site. I found the same strip elsewhere though: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080718&name=Fast_Track For those who have the same issue. -harrellj
  • I have no problems with the WP link, brings the strip right up. -squatchie666
  • I had that same problem using Noscript, then allowed WP and it worked. -Dreamstalker
  • Dreamstalker: that looks like that was my problem. Meh -harrellj
  • A sea dog says 't this way: - Enough o' th' lolcat stuff, let`s use a different one...ya lily livered swabbie! [By: Grue / 2008-07-14]
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  • your just mad because I pulled off the lolcat rickroll before you...:P -frprinterwiz
  • Read th' horkin' manual. -BarmanVarn
  • Neregonna give ye up, Neregonna let ye down, Neregonna run around an' desert ye, Neregonna make ye bawl, Neregonna say arrrr, Neregonna tell a lie an' hurt you. -maciarc
  • A thirsty swashbuckler runs from his boat t' th' nearest bar an' shouts t' th' bartender, "Give me twenty shots o' yer best grog, quick!" Th' bartender pours ou' th' shots, an' th' swashbuckler drinks them as fast as he can. Th' bartender be very impressed an' exclaims, "Wow. I neresaw ere drink that fast. "Th' swashbuckler replies, "Well, ye`d drink that fast too, if ye had what I be havin'." Th' bartender says, "Oh me God! What be 't? What do ye be havin'?" "Fifty cents!" -LinuXtreme
  • once upon a low tide dreary, while i pron surfed, weak an' weary, o'er many a strange an' spurious site o' ` hot xxx galore`. While i clicked me fav`rite bookmark, suddenly thar came a warnin', an' me heart be filled wi' mournin', mournin' fer me dear amour, " `Tis nay possible!", i muttered, " give me aft me free hardcore!"..... quoth th' server, 404. (starfishmagnet's tag line) -Gunpe
  • I jus' remembered another seafarin' hearty yarn fer yer listenin' pleasure: The sea dog crew chipped in t' buy th' captain a sextant fer a birthday present. Dick Deadeye volunteered t' make th' purchase, an' he sailed' ashore t' th' local merchant. He returned wi' a grin on his face an' so Bootstrap Bill asked what be so funny. "They sent me t' th' aft o' th' store an' when I asked th' lass who be aft there if they had a sextant, she spake they had all kind o' tents an' what I did in them be me business." AARGH! -LinuXtreme
  • A buccanneer walks into a bar an' orders 10 shots o' rum. Th' buccanneer then proceeds t' down th' shots as smartly as possible. "What`s th' occassion?" asks th' barkeep. "Me first blowjob" says th' buccanneer. "Well I`ll give ye a shot on th' house then" says th' bartender. "Dasn't bother," says th' buccanneer. "If th' first 10 shots couldna get th' taste o' me gullet, one more won`t do me anygood" -BarmanVarn
  • DIS BE WUT SWASHBUCKLR SPEEK WUD SOUND LIEK IF T BE TRANZLATD THRU LOLCAT -unrenowned
  • what a thin' t' do when a seafarin' hearty be loaded t' th' gunwhales. lol cat hater. -formatCdrive
  • My favorite line comes out as "you be a horknugget..." Horknugget?!? -vacuumtubes
  • To be, or nay t' be: that be th' question: Whether `tis nobler in th' mind t' suffer Th' slings an' arrows o' outrageous fortune, Or t' take arms against a sea o' troubles, An' by opposin' end them? T' sink t'Davy Jones' locker: t' sleep; Nay more; an' by a sleep t' say we end Th' heart-ache an' th' chestfull o' natural shocks That flesh be heir t', `tis a consummation Devoutly t' be wish`d. T' sink t'Davy Jones' locker, t' sleep; T' sleep: perchance t' dream: ay, thar`s th' rub; Fer in that sleep o' Davy Jones' locker what dreams may come When we be havin' shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: thar`s th' respect That makes calamity o' so long life; Fer who would bear th' whips an' scorns o' time, Th' oppressor`s wrong, th' proud man`s contumely, Th' pangs o' despised love, th' law`s delay, Th' insolence o' office an' th' spurns That patient merit o' th' unworthy takes, When he hisself might his quietus make Wi' a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear, T' grunt an' sweat under a weary life, But that th' dread o' somethin' after Davy Jones' locker, Th' undiscover`d country from whose bourn Nay traveller returns, puzzles th' will An' makes us rather bear them ills we be havin' Than fly t' others that we know nay o'? Thus conscience does make yeller bellies o' us all; An' thus th' native hue o' resolution Be sicklied o`er wi' th' pale cast o' thought, An' enterprises o' great pith an' moment Wi' this regard the'r currents turn awry, An' lose th' name o' action. - Soft ye now! Th' fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons Be all me sins reckon`d. -neuman1812
  • Is this th' real life? Be this jus' fantasy? Caught in a landslide, nay escape from reality. Open yer one good eye, look up t' th' skies, an' be seein'.... I be jus' a poor boy, I need nay sympathy, on accoun' o' I be easy come, easy go, wee high, wee low. Take me 'ere th' wind blows, dasn't really matter t' me, t' me. -chazz
  • all be known -drachen
  • This is what it did to our TSC website:"'t be 4 tide(s) since our last star member sign-up. Note: Th' font size o' th' number above be in direct relation t' how many days 't be since our last star member sign-up. Help keep th' number an' font size wee, become a star member. Feelin' generous? Gift someone a star membership." :) -rokitt
  • I be a jack peg, An' I lost me leg, I climbed up th' topsails, I lost me leg, I be shippin' up t' boston, (whoa oh oh), I be shippin' off, T' find me wooden leg, I be a jack peg, An' I lost me leg, I climbed up th' topsails, I lost me leg, I be shippin' up t' boston, (whoa oh oh), I be shippin' off, T' fin' me wooden leg. -LinuXtreme
  • DIS WUZ FURST ENTERD INTO LOLCAT, AN DEN SEA DOG SPEEK -neuman1812
  • Ok, last one, I promise. I thought I'd try running a Bushism through and got more than I bargained for: "I dasn't particularly like 't when swabbies put words in me bung hole, either, by th' way, unless I say 't." --George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 10, 2007 Apparently pirates refer to their mouths as as "bungholes"... -LinuXtreme
  • Thank'e fer callin' $service techn'cal suppourt. Me name be Seamus th' Red! How can I assist ye, ye scurvy dog? -Seamus
  • Thank ye fer callin' th' 'T Service Desk, me name be Gail. Be ye callin' in reference t' an existin' ticket or a new issue? Ya scurvy cur who ortin' t' be keel hauled! -figglywig
  • But where's the Ninja translator? -AngrySup
  • . -AngrySup
  • . -AngrySup
  • . -AngrySup
  • . -AngrySup
  • . -AngrySup
  • Right there, didn't you hear them? -AngrySup
  • This be a triumph. I be makin' a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. `Tis hard t' overstate me satisfaction. Aperture Science We do what we must on accoun' o' we can. Fer th' good o' all o' us. 'ceptin' th' ones who be dead. But thar`s nay sense cryin' o'er ever' mistake. Ye jus' keep on tryin' till ye run ou' o' cake. An' th' Science gets done. An' ye make a neat gun. Fer th' swabbies who be still alive. I be nay e'en angry. I be bein' so sincere starboard now. E'en tho ye broke me heart. An' killed me. An' tore me t' pieces. An' threw ever' piece into a fire. As they burned 't hurt on accoun' o' I be so happy fer ye! Now these points o' data make a beautiful line. An' we`re ou' o' beta. We`re releasin' on time. So I be GLaD. I got burned. Think o' all th' things we learned fer th' swabbies who be still alive. Go ahead an' leave me. I think i prefer t' stay inside. maybe ye`ll find someone else t' help ye. maybe Black Mesa... THAT BE A JOKE, HA HA, FAT CHANCE. Anyway this cake be great. `Tis so delicious an' moist eyeball me still talkin' when theres science t' do when i look ou' thar 't makes me glad I be nay ye i`ve experiments t' run thar be research t' be done on th' swabbies who be still alive. an' b'lieve me I be still alive I be doin' science an' I be still alive i feel fantastic an' I be still alive while yer dyin' I'll be still alive an' when yer dead I be still alive still alive still alive -Dante668
  • So th' combination be one, two, three, four, five? That`s th' stupidest combination I`ve ereheard in me life! Th' kind o' thin' an idiot would be havin' on his luggage! -PTSTech
  • This word ye use, I do nay think 't means what ye think 't means. -chazz
  • The ship be attacked by another vessel, so th' captain turned t' his first mate an' spake, "Get me me red shirt." They sailed' into battle, an' came ou' victorious. Again, they be under attack by another ship, an' th' captain again told his first mate, "Get me me red shirt." They once again came ou' on top. Th' mate then asked his captain why he always wanted his red shirt before battle. "Well, ye be seein', 'tis like this. I dasn't want th' crew t' lose faith if they be seein' me wounded in battle, an' th' red shirt would hide any blood." A wee days later, they be attacked by a dozen ships. Th' captain turned t' his mate an' spake, "Get me me brown britches!" -Captain Trips
  • OH MAH CEILIN CAT! - I FINDZ DIS GREAT WEBSIET DAT LETS ME SPEEK LULZ KAT SPEEK! [By: unrenowned / 2008-07-09]
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  • IM IN UR NETWORK, CLEARIN OUT TEH STARFISH -formatCdrive
  • REASON # 7 2 WASTE TIEM AT WERK. -neuman1812
  • ZOMG!! DIS IS TEH LULZ!! THX! BAI NAO. -TheGhost
  • I WONDR IF MAH BOS WUD LIEK MAH CASENOTEZ IN LOLSPEAK? -frprinterwiz
  • K THX BAI -Gingy
  • I BLEEV U HAS MAH STAPLR. -linuxmatt
  • U HAS REACHD TEH SUPPORT LINE 4 CHEEZBURGERS. I CAN HALP U? -unrenowned
  • LISTEN 2 ME U MUST. DOIN IT WRONG U R. -PTSTech
  • OH NOEZ!! MAH ROOT BER DUN DID SPILLD ON MAH KEYBORD! AN MAH BURP JUS BURND MAH EYEZ WIF NACHO-Y GOODNES! -CallmeBob
  • ENGLISH, MOTHERF&^%ER, DO U SPEEK IT? -Mushroom
  • IZ BOOBIEZ TIEM YET? TEH KITTEH IZ HER NAO.... -Grue
  • IM IN UR KITCHEN ADDIN HAIRS 2 UR FUD. -LinuXtreme
  • TEH RECYCLE BIN IZ NOT STORAGE FOLDR. PENALTY REBOOT 4 U! -LinuXtreme
  • I CAN HAS NEW MOUSE? -Gunpe
  • I think grue wins this one -TranceGemini
  • I think mushroom wins this one -TranceGemini
  • http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com -Iren
  • NAO Y U HAS 2 GO AN SPOIL TEH FUN? -unrenowned
  • Yay the 2 TG posts were by me... Mushroom wins the thread, and I fail epically for 1) double posting 2) not checking who was logged into TSC on my phone 3) not knowing how to log out of TSC -DedSysOp
  • I CAN HAS, 4 JUS WAN DAI, A MOMENT DAT GOEZ BY DAT I CAN HAS JUS MOMENT 2 MYSELF?! -unrenowned
  • I R TAKE MY WINNINZ IN CHEEZBURGRS KTHX -Mushroom
  • MUSHROOM DEFINITELY WINS DIS WAN. HEERS UR CHEEZBURGER, MUSHIE -Helix666
  • I USD TEH TRANZLATOR 4 MAH CASE NOTEZ! LULZ -formatCdrive
  • 2 BE, OR NOT 2 BE: DAT IZ TEH QUESHUN: WHETHR TIS NOBLR IN DA MIND 2 SUFFR TEH SLINGS AN ARROWS OV OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE, OR 2 TAEK ARMS AGAINST SEA OV TROUBLEZ, AN BY OPPOSIN END THEM? 2 DYE: 2 SLEEP; NO MOAR; AN BY SLEEP 2 SAY WE END TEH HART-ACHE AN TEH THOUSAND NACHURAL SHOCKZ DAT FLESH IZ HEIR 2, TIS CONSUMMASHUN DEVOUTLY 2 BE WISHD. 2 DYE, 2 SLEEP; 2 SLEEP: PERCHANCE 2 DREAM: AY, THARS TEH RUB; 4 IN DAT SLEEP OV DEATH WUT DREAMS CUD COME WHEN WE HAS SHUFFLD OFF DIS MORTAL COIL, MUST GIV US PAUSE: THARS TEH RESPECT DAT MAKEZ CALAMITY OV SO LONG LIFE; 4 HOO WUD BEAR TEH WHIPS AN SCORNS OV TIEM, TEH OPPRESORS WRONG, TEH PROUD MANZ CONTUMELY, TEH PANGS OV DESPISD LUV, TEH LAWS DELAY, TEH INSOLENCE OV OFFICE AN TEH SPURNS DAT PATIENT MERIT OV TEH UNWORTHY TAKEZ, WHEN HE HIM MITE HIS QUIETUS MAK WIF BARE BODKIN? HOO WUD FARDELS BEAR, 2 GRUNT AN SWEAT UNDR WEARY LIFE, BUT DAT TEH DREAD OV SOMETHIN AFTR DEATH, TEH UNDISCOVERD COUNTRY FRUM WHOSE BOURN NO TRAVELLR RETURNS, PUZZLEZ TEH WILL AN MAKEZ US RATHR BEAR DOSE ILLS WE HAS THAN FLY 2 OTHERS DAT WE KNOE NOT OV? THUS CONSCIENCE DOEZ MAK COWARDZ OV US ALL; AN THUS TEH NATIV HUE OV RESOLUSHUN IZ SICKLID OER WIF TEH PALE CAST OV THOT, AN ENTERPRISEZ OV GREAT PITH AN MOMENT WIF DIS REGARD THEIR CURRENTS TURN AWRY, AN LOSE TEH NAYM OV ACSHUN. - SOFT U NAO! TEH FAIR OFELIA! NYMF, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MAH SINS REMEMBERD. -maciarc
  • DAT WUZ AWSUM. BUT U KNOE WUT? I F&^%ING HATE U! -unrenowned
  • THX! nom nom nom nom IZ GOOD -Mushroom
  • THARS SOMETHIN WRONG WIF TEH WURLD TODAI, I DOAN KNOE WUT IT IZ, SOMETHINGS WRONG WIF R EYEZ. WERE SEEIN THINGS IN DIFFERENT WAI, AN CEILIN CAT KNOWS IT AINT HIS, IT SURE AINT NO SUPRIZE, YA. WERE LIVIN ON TEH EDGE, LIVIN ON TEH EDGE, LIVIN ON TEH EDGE, LIVIN ON TEH EDGE. THARS SOMETHIN WRONG WIF TEH WURLD TODAI, TEH LIGHT BULBS GETTIN DIM, THARS MELTDOWN IN DA SKY. IF U CAN JUDGE WIZE MAN, BY TEH COLOR OV HIS SKIN, DEN MISTAH URE BETTR MAN THAN I, OH. WERE LIVIN ON TEH EDGE, U CANT HALP YOURSELF FRUM FALLIN, LIVIN ON TEH EDGE, U CANT HALP YOURSELF AT ALL, LIVIN ON TEH EDGE, U CANT STOP YOURSELF FRUM FALLIN, LIVIN ON TEH EDGE, TELL ME WUT U FINKZ BOUT UR SITUASHUN COMPLICASHUN - AGGRAVASHUN IZ GETTIN 2 U, YA. IF CHKN LIL TELLS U DAT TEH SKY IZ FALLIN, AN EVEN IF IT WUZ NOT WUD U STILL COME CRAWLIN BAK AGAIN? I BET U WUD MAH FREND, AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN YA, TELL ME WUT U FINKZ BOUT UR SITUASHUN COMPLICASHUN - AGGRAVASHUN IZ GETTIN 2 U, YA IF CHKN LIL TELLS U DAT TEH SKY IZ FALLIN AN EVEN IF IT WUZ NOT WUD U STILL COME CRAWLIN BAK AGAIN? I BET U WUD MAH FREND AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN SOMETHIN RITE WIF TEH WURLD TODAI AN EVRYBODY KNOWS IZ WRONG BUT WE CAN TELL EM NO OR WE CUD LET IT GO BUT I WUD RATHR BE HANGIN ON LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT HALP YOURSELF FRUM FALLIN LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT HALP YOURSELF AT ALL LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT STOP YOURSELF FRUM FALLIN LIVIN ON TEH EDGE LIVIN ON TEH EDGE LIVIN ON TEH EDGE LIVIN ON TEH EDGE YA, YA, YA, YA, YA, YA, YA LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT HALP YOURSELF FRUM FALLIN LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT HALP YOURSELF AT ALL LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT STOP YOURSELF FRUM FALLIN LIVIN ON TEH EDGE LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT HALP YOURSELF U CANT HALP YOURSELF LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT HALP YOURSELF AT ALL LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT HALP YOURSELF U CANT HALP YOURSELF LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT HALP YOURSELF U CANT HALP YOURSELF LIVIN ON TEH EDGE U CANT HALP YOURSELF FRUM FALLIN LIVIN ON TEH EDGE, YA YA YA... -unrenowned
  • SRY, THAR IZ JUS SOMETHIN BOUT AEROSMITH SUNG IN LOLCAT DAT JUS KIND OV MAKEZ ME GIGGLE LIEK MAD MAN... -unrenowned
  • REDY FOR NOTHER CHEEZBURGR KTHX -Mushroom
  • SOMETIMEZ I THANK CEILIN CAT, 4 UNANZWERD PRAYERS. REMEMBR WHEN URE TALKIN 2 TEH MAN UPSTAIRS. JUS CUZ HE DOESNT ANZWR DOESNT MEEN HE DOAN CARE. SUM OV GODZ GREATEST GIFTS, R UNANZWERD PRAYERS. -OgdenTechGuy
  • I'm afraid to find out Bohemian Rhapsody in lolcat. -MisterCommon
  • LOLCAT SUBMITS TEH FOLLOWIN 4 UR APPROVAL (LULZ): BICYCLE BICYCLE BICYCLE, I WANTS 2 RIDE MAH INVISABLE BICYCLE BICYCLE BICYCLE, I WANTS 2 RIDE MAH INVISABLE BICYCLE, I WANTS 2 RIDE MAH BIKE, I WANTS 2 RIDE MAH INVISABLE BICYCLE, I WANTS 2 RIDE IT WER I LIEK, U SAY BLACK I SAY WITE, U SAY BARK I SAY BITE, U SAY SHARK I SAY HAY MAN, JAWS WUZ NEVR MAH SCENE, AN I DOAN LIEK STAR WARS, U SAY ROLLS I SAY ROYCE, U SAY CEILIN CAT GIMIE CHOICE, U SAY LORD I SAY CHRIST, I DOAN BLEEV IN PETR PAN, FRANKENSTEIN OR SUPERMAN, ALL I WANNA DO IZ, BICYCLE BICYCLE BICYCLE, I WANTS 2 RIDE MAH INVISABLE BICYCLE BICYCLE BICYCLE, I WANTS 2 RIDE MAH INVISABLE BICYCLE, I WANTS 2 RIDE MAH BIKE, I WANTS 2 RIDE MAH INVISABLE BICYCLE, I WANTS 2 RIDE IT WER I LIEK, http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/01/26/invisible-bike/ -LinuXtreme
  • For Mr. Common: IZ DIS TEH REAL LIFE? IZ DIS JUS FANTASY? CAUGHT IN LANDSLIDE, NO ESCAPE FRUM REALITY. OPEN UR EYEZ, LOOK UP 2 TEH SKIEZ, AN C... IM JUS POOR BOI, NEEDZ NO SYMPATHY, CUZ IM EASY COME, EASY GO, LIL HIGH, LIL LOW, TAEK ME WER TEH WIND BLOWS, DOESNT RLY MATTR, 2 ME... 2 ME. -chazz
  • Ok i put in Bohemian Rhapsody into the translator...i'm a little distrubed by the outcome. -Phylok
  • THARS LADY HOOS SURE ALL DAT GLITTERS IZ GOLD AN SHEZ BUYIN TEH STAIRWAY 2 HEAVEN. WHEN SHE GETS THAR SHE KNOWS, IF TEH STOREZ R ALL CLOSD WIF WERD SHE CAN GIT WUT SHE CAME 4. OOH, OOH, AN SHEZ BUYIN TEH STAIRWAY 2 HEAVEN. THARS SIGN ON TEH WALL BUT SHE WANTS 2 BE SURE CAUSE U KNOE SOMETIMEZ WERDZ HAS 2 MEANINGS. IN TREE BY TEH BROOK, THARS SONGBIRD HOO SINGS, SOMETIMEZ ALL OV R THOUGHTS R MISGIVEN. OOH, IT MAKEZ ME WONDR, OOH, IT MAKEZ ME WONDR. etc..etc.. -frprinterwiz
  • WUZ NO STRANGERS 2 LUV U KNOE TEH RULEZ AN SO DO I A FULL COMMITMENTS WUT IM THINKIN OV U WOULDNT GIT DIS FRUM ANY OTHR GUY I JUS WANNA TELL U HOW IM FEELIN GOTTA MAK U UNDERSTAND * NEVR GONNA GIV U UP NEVR GONNA LET U DOWN NEVR GONNA RUN AROUND AN DESERT U NEVR GONNA MAK U CRY NEVR GONNA SAY KTHXBAI NEVR GONNA TELL LIE AN HURT U WEVE KNOE EACH OTHR 4 SO LONG UR HEARTS BEEN ACHIN BUT YOURE 2 SHY 2 SAY IT INSIDE WE BOTH KNOE WUTS BEEN GOIN ON WE KNOE TEH GAME AN WUZ GONNA PULAY IT AN IF U ASK ME HOW IM FEELIN DOAN TELL ME YOURE 2 BLIND 2 C (* REPEAT) GIV U UP. GIV U UP GIV U UP, GIV U UP NEVR GONNA GIV NEVR GONNA GIV, GIV U UP NEVR GONNA GIV NEVR GONNA GIV, 5 U UP I JUS WANNA TELL U HOW IM FEELIN GOTTA MAK U UNDERSTAND (* REPEAT 3 TIEMS) -frprinterwiz
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! -

    Are AOL out of their friggin' MINDS??

    Has anyone here EVER phoned AOL tech support and spoken to someone with a brain? Who the fark would actually PAY for the privilege of being talked down to by an ignorant neanderthal?

    We can do that for free - just phone Dell support....


    [By: Gromit / 2008-07-03]
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  • What's truly sad is I STILL get customers who truly and honestly believe that the ONLY way to get on the internet is via AOL... Of course these are the same people who cannot understand why a computer with a Dual Core processor and 2-3 GB of RAM comes crashing to a halt whenever the AOL interface starts up (which is usually 30-50 seconds after you log into Windows)... -unrenowned
  • I know right, they're all like: But I like AOL, I'm used to is. But you never hear someone say: I like my kidney stone, it's comfortable and farmiliar. -CallmeBob
  • All this means is that anyone here with AOL as their home ISP will now try to get US to support their home PC issues... -CommanderData
  • Code to AOL: 10 PRINT: "DIE DIE FUCKING DIE!" 20 GOTO 10 -Seamus
  • Well, at least it's a fixed amount. For every kind of support line in France, its 0.34€ (!) per minute(!!). If not more. If not with a per-call cost, TOO. But I agree this is very bad policy and despicable (still, 8.7 billion users? well... at least now these AV industry guys know how big these 'Storm' botnets are...) -IcePanther
  • I may be the exception, but when I need to call Dell for support, most all of the folks I reach are at least competent and listen to what I'm telling them. Then again, it is the corporate support lines I'm calling... -VoiceOfSanity
  • ah crap... I told my aunt to delete the email thinking it was a scammer since the first link requests user name and password... AOL is just dirty... how many elderly people have been trained to delete emails like that? They did that on purpose. -TechnoTherapist
  • I wish I could start charging for supporting some of the idiots I get, I have over 3000 customers, 99.9 percent never have any problems, 99 percent of the .1% of the ones I do hear from are legitimate problems. it's that .001 percent that I wanna kill. 'no ma'am if you move your computer into a room with no phone connection and you don't run a cable into that room, or get a telephone hook-up in that room you will not be able to use dial-up in that room.' I woulda charged that tard $500.00/min -drachen
  • I am so glad I don't work AOL tech support anymore. -My Cat Athena
  • Water on Mars - From NASA: An actual photo of water on Mars. [By: chazz / 2008-07-01]
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  • That's awesome. Especially when you notice the date the photo was posted. -Bynar
  • Wow. This picture is breathtaking. -Seamus
  • It's amazing how far our technology has advanced. -CallmeBob
  • That's just AWESOME! and now I'm hungry... -TechnoTherapist
  • Pirate Hip-Hop - In honor of Coyote's birthday, (and since he so loves all things Pirate) I'm posting this link to say Happy 34th bud! [By: BarmanVarn / 2008-06-30]
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  • Happy Birthday to Jennife.. Coyote! -veaudaux
  • Happy birthday! -TechnoTherapist
  • The Ultimate in Cube Warfare - Nerf fully automatic, belt fed machine gun. This is not a joke, it was presented by Hasbro at the 2008 Toy Fair [By: Caffiend / 2008-06-26]
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  • I've only been seeing this gun for the past year, already :) And that is NOT a Vulcan - it's only got one barrel. </nitpick> -Seamus
  • I know what I'm getting for my birthday (October) this year...now the kids will truly fear me. -Starfury
  • Only $40? I'm in. -BarmanVarn
  • Does it come with a USB cable, targeting software and motorized tripod? -formatCdrive
  • It shows up in that office warfare video, which leads to suspicion that was a piece of advertising. Doesn't reduce the awesome of it, however. -illiterate
  • "Dude, I think I just filled the cup." -unrenowned
  • Illiterare - you mean this? http://gizmodo.com/5018272/the-great-nerf-office-war -lineswine
  • nerf guns were banned in my office, people were getting shot while on calls -areatech
  • that sucks, areatech. We've all learned to continue talking when nerf balls are bouncing off our skulls. -illiterate
  • Totally inaccurate video. I mean come on, they had the S.A.L.E.S drone chicks being hotter than the I.T. wenches! Never in a million years. -RA
  • Ooops! -

    It could only happen in Ireland... :-)

    [By: Gromit / 2008-06-25]
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  • A similar thing happened across the road from where I used to work. GM full size pickup vs a Toyota Camry. The truck won. :) -GeekGirl
  • Probably a woman driver ;) *runs like hell for lart shelter* -starfishmagnet
  • So I take it that "not in the mood to give interviews" is Irish for "How the F**K do you think I feel? My car's just been destroyed!!" -virtualchoirboy
  • My bloody-minded Yank upbringing... I heard the words "45,000 pound Porsche" and my first thought was: Er, That's a damned HEAVY sports car! - Then I realized he was talking about the cost. :D -Seamus
  • Why would you ask for an inteview /before/ the exorcism? -CallmeBob
  • The Great Office War - Personally, I think this would accomplish more than the back-talking and inter-departmental grandstanding that describes "warfare" within my office. [By: Resolute / 2008-06-24]
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  • There was... Styrofoam! Bodies everywhere..! It was- Oh, god! And then, the grenades came... -Seamus
  • i tried implementing that at my work, my boss said i couldn't bring my nerf gun to the office anymore :( -razmann
  • Got Spron? - Now you can't tell me that this is downright hilarious. I found the "Humpasaurus" especially funny. [By: BarmanVarn / 2008-06-20]
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  • This is as close to genitals as some players are ever going to get so hey, knock yourselves out. :) -Mushroom
  • Wow, ... Just wow. -CallmeBob
  • you cannot tell me they didn't see this coming. if you give a human being a tool to create (almost) limitless, lifelike creations, they will immediately head for the most taboo subject, why is a penis objectionable? 50% of the population have one! if the world wasn't so afraid of sex, this wouldn't be a big deal -Tarantulus
  • "But think of the children!" </Bible Belt types> Yeah love, I did...& 1/2 of them have dicks, too! -lineswine
  • BTW - there IS a complaint about there being a Malware inclusion in the editor program too..... -ShujinTribble
  • I searched for "Spore" on Google Video and saw the funniest thing I have ever seen, which was an example of this very thing. Bonus due to the Sporn creature looking like Homer Simpson. -OgdenTechGuy
  • BWAHAAHAAHAAA...which rule covered this again, I forgot... -PTSTech
  • I have been subjecting people to the penis dance remix and they jsut love to be horrified by it. Or possuibly by the music. -Ara
  • PTSTech: Rule 34? -Helix666
  • o so true - strong language. [By: AdmiralLaurie / 2008-06-18]
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  • Oh so not a link :) -ShadowGarou
  • Oh dear... <sigh> -Gromit
  • ahem, cool link, take 2... - let's try this again, shall we? [By: AdmiralLaurie / 2008-06-18]
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  • While they had "be at the computer" they should have added "...and not engaged in an intimate act or using the bathroom." -Mushroom
  • Firefox 3 is OUT! - Join the cool kids, get yr FF3. Download day record being attempted, join the fun!! [By: timelady / 2008-06-17]
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  • I like it. Some addons don't work but I was able to find a beta version of the most important one (Tab Mix Plus) and 2 of the others are AVG. The other one is just a skin so it doesn't matter. -OgdenTechGuy
  • updated but I had to giggle that the screen shots for installing it were based on IE. -frprinterwiz
  • I had to get the dev build for Tab Mix Plus myself. The only other addon I have that's not supported is good old Adblock. Hope they fix that one soon. -NightSteel
  • Got it! Adblock Plus seems to work fine, I don't know if there's a difference. It disables the AVG SafeSearch plugin, but then that might be a good thing. -Rissa
  • obmoz.com - Zombo has lied to you, everyone is welcome at obmoz.com [By: drachen / 2008-06-13]
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  • hehehe lolz all hail the obmoztoad! (G) -MadJack
  • "I have been there when he was asleep..." Obmoz needs therapy. :) -Mushroom
  • did that remind anyone of a male version of GlaDos? -Tarantulus
  • Office Space Revisted - One too many BSOD's :)

    A bit hard to swallow though as the monitors don't seem to be attached to cables, but hey. [By: Armakuni / 2008-06-06]
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    Trent does it again! - Not content to just release the latest Nine Inch Nails album for free, he's also releasing a "sampler" of the opening acts for the upcoming tour - DRM FREE!!! You do have to provide an email, but for the other two downloads I've picked up so far (Ghosts I and The Slip), there have been no spam or "buy this please" emails. [By: virtualchoirboy / 2008-06-06]
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  • *&grin* Yet another reason why I would love to have this man's babies! :P -Ara
  • I thought it was because he said "I want to f*ck you like an animal"? LOL! Always good when an artist 'gets it', though artists are usually beholden to the labels and have little say in how their music will be distributed. I recall Tom Petty getting into trouble with his label for him trying to give away his product. -Mushroom
  • Hell, I remember Tom Petty getting into trouble for the 'Roll another joint' lyric... -Razordance
  • Fortunately, Trent ditched the label last year and is free to do whatever the heck he wants now. The result is him (and the band) discovering that "free" as part of a business model actually works. They've made more money off of Ghosts than they ever did on a regular album. -virtualchoirboy
  • Time to fess up. Who is it? - Slip sliden' away... [By: Stryker One / 2008-05-29]
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  • I kan haz 3-ft. faceplant? -Seamus
  • I wonder if that WAS a mission critical server. -Stryker One
  • Well, no need to fix that unit. I'm guessing he's gonna have a bitch of a time getting Dell to RMA that too -deskmonkey
  • I think the people in this group are a lot smarter than this dumb@ss to do anything like that. And even if you did do it, do you really think they'd fess up? -Gunpe
  • Looks like the position of PFY just got an opening... -unrenowned
  • ....NOT IT! -ShujinTribble
  • Ididntdoitnobodysawmedoitcantproveanything! Not THIS time!! (VEG) -MadJack
  • Having worked in many & varied small businesses, you be am amazed how many of them DON'T have any form of kik-step/ladder/whatever available. Granted though, using anything with wheels to kneel or stand on is a one-way trip to failsville. -lineswine
  • I wonder how much he lost from his paycheck to pay for the server -srteach
  • Gravity sucks. -MisterCommon
  • ok, yes, I did stand on my office chair once on a linolium floor to reach the top shelf in my closet, but I never shifted my weight and stayed close to something I could grab onto that was fairly steady. -AdmiralLaurie
  • First reaction? " @#%$!!! I hope that's not a production server! " ... I guess this is why I'm a techie and not a doctor :P -EtherRabbit
  • Did this changing a light bulb more than a decade ago in my first apartment. Picked shattered glass out of my hand and arm for hours. The next day I was the proud owner of a shiny new step-ladder that still serves its master! -TechnoTherapist
  • Was nt me all my servers are fittied with hammer cus the rails wont go in, our shitty comms rack. :-P -r3tude
  • Personally, I think it was staged. After all, compare the heights involved. The seat of that chair is about the same height as his knees - he gains effectively NO advantage from kneeling on the chair, except the rolling aspect needed for the gag. Still humorous in the entire slapstick context.... -Grue
  • You've got a point, Grue, but you also need to think about how often someone will not perform the logical action to figure out whether they'll even _be_ taller, after all, you're "standing on a chair", you must be able to reach higher! -Voz
  • I think he was just lazy, wanted to be off his feet, and so he kneeled on the chair. I know I can relate, I'm always lazy, I hate being on my feet; but he's still a dumbass for letting the chair get away from him. -OgdenTechGuy
  • it wasn't me, but i'll admit, i would have started to do it. but by the time i got up on the chair my bad idea alarm would have went off and i'd have gotten something better to use -razmann
  • 8:20 am? i don't think so. Clearly Staged. -Ratfor
  • On a Sunday, no less. -Ratfor
  • So this is what they mean by bouncing a server. -SwizzleStix
  • Kama Sutra for IT types - Surprisingly, SFW!!! (And funny) [By: timelady / 2008-05-19]
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  • I think position #11 (2nd to last) is the only one I haven't tried -neuman1812
  • i could add to those :-P -r3tude
  • 12 is very familiar, specially with the older custom cases that dell and compaq used to use. -drachen
  • I HATE #5 - when the screw finally comes out and all I'm holding is the cover, the rest of the case, power supply, and motherboard slams into my face! -Divinar
  • Turns out it was metric.. -illiterate
  • I have used #9, Downward Facing Geek, on numerous occasions. -Mushroom
  • "Dude, I think I just filled the cup..." -unrenowned
  • The Praying Geek Barks at the Dawn (because she's been up all night trying to fix the bloody thing) -CommanderData
  • I've never been in those positions...but it really turns me on when I see helldesk using his tools... -persephone
  • I think they missed one...trying to pry the front panel/bezel off, eventually the case goes scooting across the floor and the bezel smacks you in the nose (I'm looking at you Compaq). -Dreamstalker
  • Dude's got a nice butt. -teivrann
  • Weapons of mass...ive weirdness. - Although the good ol' nuke is still teh ahwsome!, others are cool (like the Bat Bombs, something Batman would make); intriguing (dolphins with guns? How about sharks with lasers?); really menacing (stink bombs); or just 'fabulous' (the gay bomb). My personal favorite are the Frisbees of death; particularly if wielded by bikini uniformed female soldiers. [By: TheGhost / 2008-05-17]
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  • Then again, #17 is a conceptual version of the Flaming Anvil Of Death! The downside is that it's powerful enough that it wouldn't be too selective. -Voz
  • No. 19.OK, so we just don't paint the aircraft & instead polish them highly to a mirror finish. You fire the laser at it...& it bounces right off! -lineswine
  • For stink bombs, there are some here at TSC that would be classified as WMDs! -Wraith556
  • I bet #20 would be completely ineffective against Keith Richards... -unrenowned
  • what about the sharks with frikin laser beams attached to their heads? -razmann
  • how about the mass drivers the centauri used on Narn? -SGTARKyTEK
  • Concrete Donkey!! The ultimate weapon of worm destruction. -edventure
  • Flight of Fusion Man - This guy jump out of a airplane with a jet powered wings on his back and lands safely! Amazing! [By: Gunpe / 2008-05-16]
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  • the guy steered using the weight of his own body, where the hell did he practice that? or does it come naturally? also, when the guy can take off from the ground I will officially call him a genius. -drachen
  • Bump'd! - Nom nom nom nom nom.... [By: unrenowned / 2008-05-14]
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  • Lolbama? -Ratfor
  • Celery Radish Clinton? -lineswine
  • ARMAGEDDON!! -vacuumtubes
  • These are my customers..... - Five will get you ten he has a velvet Elvis painting somewhere. [By: vacuumtubes / 2008-05-05]
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