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Tech Stories (past 2 days)
Welcome to the heart of Tech Support Comedy the tech stories pages. Here
you will find it all, the most craziest tech stories you have ever heard,
and just when you read one that you think is the worst, you read another
one that tops that. TSC is probably one of the largest repositories on the
Internet for tech humor and that is because of all the loyal members we have,
thank you for your support and all the stories you submit to TSC. Currently
we have over 38857 different stories!.
Do you enjoy reading these stories? Then help support TSC, become a star member .
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1.
SEVEN SECONDS!!
The boss asked me to sign off on a call review in the scorekeeping system and after I did a popup came up onscreen saying YOUR AVERAGE HANDLE TIME IS 357 SECONDS - COMPANY EXPECTATION IS 350 SECONDS - LEVEL ONE WARNING. I was like "wtf?" I turned to him and pointed, and he laughed and said it was weird people get that 'warning' since company expection is actually about a minute more, and I have one of the lowest handle times on my team.[By: Mushroom
/ 2010-09-02 Do not spill the buckets of stupid!]
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I'll see your Level One Warning and raise it with a Level Five Take-Your-Seven-Seconds-And-Shove-Them-Up-Your-Pale-White-Executive-Ass Alert -RiffRaff
i'll see that warning and raise you a Dangerouse Eyebrowe, a whithering look and an uncomfortable slience that goes on for a few seconds longer then it should, followed by a "I see". My own TL's generally left me alone.. other TL's trying to step in and do some " good" for the company and " help" got the Vetinary treatment -Harm
I'm assuming they dropped the warning. If not, the call review system team needs a warning -McSmiley
I am having talks for my handle time for being to low. Still miss the mark for dead air. -DarkRookie
I am so happy that ACD is not one of our KPIs. We look at it, but there is no set policy on what it is supposed to be. Makes the job of running the desk much nicer. Our KPI is Customer Sat, and if the customer is happy you win. -torgo
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2.
Work Chat o' the Day 2
Sup: if you copy from Kaspersky and use it before it's been tested, you could wax a machine
Me: Been lucky then
CW: wax on wax off lol
Sup: and get written up in the process for using unapproved tool
Me: I mean good thing I didn't do that
CW: LOL[By: Jack
/ 2010-09-02 ]
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3.
NO. NO NO NO NO NO. NO.
No. I will NOT support your USB TYPEWRITER. NO. I may have to support your credit card machines, your faxes and your copiers and all your other devices that plug into an electrical circuit, including your GD'd shredder, but I swear to god, I will NOT support a USB typewriter.
Offsite Link[By: MrsCheezil / 2010-09-02]
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What does USB need with a typewriter? </mangled Kirk quote> -VFox
As a geek toy, those a pretty fucking cool. For the average user, pain in the ass. -AmazingKreskin
cool - and i can see SOME use to it... but notb a keyoard replacment... -Harm
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4.
Maybe she can give him lessons...
As I'm going through old notes from long-gone sales reps, I found a real gem of irony. The client is in Turkey, and the last note given about the client says "She speaks well English".[By: ActingUpAgain / 2010-09-01]
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The return of George. -AmazingKreskin
Are havening George issues again? -Captain Trips
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5.
Goodbye, Ubuntu - It Was Fun For A While
Looks like we will be switching from Ubuntu to OpenSUSE here at Peyton Place. Ubuntu was great until they hit version 9.10, and since then it's just been more work to get things running than what I want to deal with. Just tried OpenSUSE 11.3 on a test system here, and everything worked out of the box, except for one network printer that I had to manually download and install the driver for.
I'll be switching my laptop and $CFO's laptop this weekend, then purchasing new quad-core desktops for Accounting and installing OpenSUSE on them as well. I'll let the backup servers and file servers continue with Ubuntu until the next time I have to reinstall the OS, then switch them. Other workstations throughout the company will be migrated gradually as time and circumstances allow.
A part of me will miss Ubuntu; it's the first Linux distro I used and cut my teeth on. I learned a lot. But I look forward to more stability and less hacking to get stuff to work properly.
[By: RiffRaff
/ 2010-09-01 Oversized Kewpie Doll since 2003]
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I'm the other way 'round - SuSE was the first one I tried, and later went over to Kubuntu. (I get paid to ne a Windows admin now, so I've lost touch with Linux) -TheCyberwolfe
What counts is that it's still linux! -Grue
So true grue. Now you might want to try Slackware. --- Runs to lart shelter
-kennz
haters - please don't hate, but I've never got involved with Linux. Slightly concerned by "the next time I have to reinstall the OS" - Um WTH? why? -SoldierJedi
SJ: Usually only happens when a drive fails or I have to switch a server over to a different machine. At Peyton Place, most of my servers are the oldest machines in the company, simply because the task they're performing doesn't require a lot in the way of resources. Looks great on my budget. But the downside is a higher rate of hardware repairs. -RiffRaff
I'm currently experimenting with Fedora 13 myself... -JoeLugian
Half of the issues I had with installing Ubuntu 10.4 were with third-party software (like the Amazon mp3 downloader) not updating their @(*$% dependencies. -Seamyst
I tired Mint 9 for a while. Fun until I lost around 60GB of HDD space and had no idea where it went to. The music, videos, and pron were all accounted for. -DarkRookie
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6.
PSSST ... Need a job in the DC Area?
Posted in the Break Area: TSC Link[By: Necros / 2010-09-01]
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how does someone live on <50K year in DC? Just curious. -figglywig
Live in Virginia or Maryland and commute. Commute a LOT. -Mer
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7.
You win, Mr. Lucas.
So there's been an update to the story I posted about George Lucas and his cry of foul against a company named "Jedi Mind Inc." Apparently, they have suddenly dropped all affiliation with the name "Jedi." I'm guessing Lucas threatened to send Jar-Jar Binks after them.
Offsite Link[By: KrazerKap
/ 2010-09-01 We are the Techs. Lower your shields, and surrender your 'fish. We will add our biological and technological distinctiveness to your own. Your culture will adapt to be as smart as us. Resistance is futile. ]
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Other than the word Jedi, I see no correlation between the company and Mr Lucas' cash-cow... er... franchise. Congratulations George, you've just tied with Steve Jobs in the title for the world's biggest douche. -Wraith556
I'm with George on this one, they were definitely going for a star wars thing with Jedi Mind. -Icelator
Control-sa. Alt-sa. Delete-sa. Game over. And all the lawyers get their pound of flesh. -vacuumtubes
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8.
Addiction=Lawsuit WIN?
Okay so some guy in Hawaii decided to get Lineage II, and became addicted to it. He logs more than 20,000 hours into it and somehow from that is suffering from severe emotional distress and depression. He decides to blame the game company that created it. They quote the EULA, but apparently there's something in the states of TX and HI that nullifies parts of it, to where they are now liable for this man's mental health problems. I'm sorry to inform you, fishy, but if you are having mental problems from a game, SHUT IT OFF!!!!
Offsite Link
[By: KrazerKap
/ 2010-09-01 We are the Techs. Lower your shields, and surrender your 'fish. We will add our biological and technological distinctiveness to your own. Your culture will adapt to be as smart as us. Resistance is futile. ]
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mental problems from lack of responsibility and stupidity -srteach
Already being discussed in the break room: TSC Link . Obviously the person needs to get a life and take responsibility for themselves. -Wraith556
I read that to counteract "addiction" FF14 will reduce the experience and loot earned by players who are logged in more than 8hrs/wk. I've never had enough bandwidth or a high enough data cap to get into on-line play and have this be a problem. -AussieFoot
O-Crack. 'Nuff said. -RiffRaff
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