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Tech Stories (past 2 days)

Welcome to the heart of Tech Support Comedy the tech stories pages. Here you will find it all, the most craziest tech stories you have ever heard, and just when you read one that you think is the worst, you read another one that tops that. TSC is probably one of the largest repositories on the Internet for tech humor and that is because of all the loyal members we have, thank you for your support and all the stories you submit to TSC. Currently we have over 35411 different stories!.

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1. It's that time of year again!
July 25th, 2008 is Sysadmin Appreciation Day! mark your calendars and remind everyone you work with! Offsite Link
[By: JoeLugian / 2008-07-03]
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Comments

  • Hey that is also my Day of Birth -LowLevelFormat
  • Forwarded to $CFO, with a note that gifts aren't necessary, but I'll accept a gold plaque. *bfeg* -RiffRaff
  • I know what I'm getting this year, and that is the same thing I got in the past two years and that was an increased workload. This time it appears to be permanent. -cecil36

  • 2. Need assistance... NT/OT
    I'm trying to help out a family member get a US$10k personal loan with crap credit and no collateral. I've been hitting places online for a couple of days with no success for him. Anyone stateside have one they'd recommend or that they've used in the past?
    [By: TechnoTherapist / 2008-07-03]
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    Comments

  • Good luck with that. You can try American General Finance. They take higher risk loans at high interest rates, but the no collateral part is going to make it rough. -RiffRaff
  • Fair warning: don't co-sign. If they default, you're on the hook, and don't even have the benefit of whatever they bought with the 10K. (BTDT) -chazz
  • Hey, I know dis guy named Vinny.... -Stryker One
  • not gonna happen without collateral, even at a loanshark. -frprinterwiz
  • If they don't mind getting reamed more than by a bank but less than a payday lender, try Beneficial. Their rates are definitely or so I avoid them like the Serbian plague. -Darkridr
  • You could try Prosper.com. I've been reading that many people are both lending and borrowing through Prosper.com. Your interest rate is based on your credit score, but I believe you'll do better than going through a bank or commercial finance company. I would tell your family member to make repayment of the loan a top priority, only for the sake of helping his/her credit score. -cecil36
  • but with american general finance and cit-financial you're going to get a 24% loan. on $10k that's $2500 a year in interest. it would be difficult to pay that off. Try to find someone who can loan the money and go for a private loan. -areatech
  • Here's what you do: Get As many credit cards as you can, doesn't matter about the interest rates. Spend all of it on Gold bars. Not gold certificates, Real gold, or Diamonds if you want an easier time doin it. Then, Report the Gold "Stolen" and bury it in your friends backyard. Now declare bankruptcy. All the debt is gone. Then have some one vaugley evil looking put the gold in a bag, and throw it at you from a moving vehichle.. Film it for proof that this wasn't at all a planned scheme, and act very confused. Sell the gold in 9 chunks of random size, at various places. to avert sucpision. Then, PROFIT!!!!!/Halfbaked80's movieplot -PeterGibons

  • 3. Just enough to be a pain in the........

    So it looks like I have a new victim. She was just hired two weeks ago and joined the payroll department (two other people). Fortunately, she's not the payroll dept. that signs my checks.

    It started out with little things. First, she wanted her keyboard tray removed from her desk because she's an amazon and needed the leg space. Annoying, but understandable. You can't help your size (I should know). Nevertheless, I polite and humble request is always preferred over an "I need this done," statement. Especially to the IT guy you just met.

    Next, however, she decides to up the ante. We had created a new folder for the department and the only people that had access to it were those three, the manager and myself. I get an email from her the next day asking why everyone had access to it when only the 4 of them were supposed to. Turns out, she had misread the permissions on the folder and thought everyone had access. If she had tried to access it from someone else's account, she would have seen that they couldn't get in. But that's not the type of EU she's going to be apparently.

    Next up, he station was scheduled to be replaced. So I told her a couple of minutes beforehand, to shut down the system and I'll be down with her new computer. We use terminal sessions, so she wasn't going to lose any work or anything. I said I'd be back down in a minute with her new system. Something kept me upstairs for about 5 minutes instead. When I came down, I heard her say, "That was alot longer than a minute." To which I joked, "Hmm, it seems like all the computers here aren't working, I might have to take them all in for repairs." Obviously I was wrong in thinking she'd get the idea, because she responds with, "There are three of us, I think we could take you."

    She's obviously forgotten that there is one guy you don't screw with at any company: the IT guy. Therefore, I open the floor to LART suggestions. Ladies and Gentlemen (and I use those terms loosely). Do your worst (without getting me caught).

    [By: YourLastHope / 2008-07-03 ]
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    Comments

  • Without getting you caught? Well there goes explosives.I gotta tell ya I think that anything, whether you cause it or not, happens to her or her equipment while she's working ther, she'll want to blame you anyhow, just guessing that's the kind of person she is. No suggestions at the moment but no suggestions at the moment unfortunately, let my evil brian reboot a bit, it's using windows 98. -CallmeBob
  • Why are you thinking that last one wasn't her attempt to joke with you? -maven
  • Tone of voice indicated her disposition. -YourLastHope
  • Proper response to the (L)user's comment: "ohhh yeah!" -CyBear
  • apply a small piece of tape to the underside of the mouse? -McSmiley
  • Patience, friend. An opportunity will present itself. -clockkingfl
  • How much control over the network traffic do you have? If you can, start monitoring what sites she visits when not performing work related activities, then start blocking those sites from her machine as being in violation of the company's IT/Security policy. -MatrixMole
  • Remote mouse block is always good. -Iren
  • Disable USB sticks, set the maximum memory in the Boot.ini file to something just above what the PC can handle, use the taskkill command to remotely shutdown applications(especially media player typed apps)(use a local admin account or something that doesn't trace back to you), Set her login times to all sorts of weird times like cutting out 15 minute blocks here and there, I once wrote a script that would run on startup and randomly send keys to from the keyboard depending on a time interval- sent things like ALT F4, ENTER, CTRL ALT DEL, ESC- setting it for 6 seconds made the PC unusable and had to be powered down to stop it. Just a few. gpedit.msc is your friend. -Slartarama
  • I'm not going to even say that I'm the devil's advocate, here, but unless the tone of voice used by the user for the drawer and folder issues was just horrible, I'd say that they are both non-issues. And as for your threat to take down the three-person department that signs the checks that keep the employees coming in to work? Yeah, that doesn't sound like a appropriate thing to joke about, so her response sounds entirely justified from this end of the internet. - Don't be Nick Burns: Offsite Link -LoTech
  • Easy there. First, look after *yourself*. C_Y_A_ and wait for the right opportunity. Also, remember that anything she can possibly blame on you may well be delivered to your back via Express-O-Dagger, like so often happens. Opportunity. Impact. Deniability. Satisfaction. Save up and get the whole set. -32KofRAM
  • Easy there. First, look after *yourself*. C_Y_A_ and wait for the right opportunity. Also, remember that anything she can possibly blame on you may well be delivered to your back via Express-O-Dagger, like so often happens. Opportunity. Impact. Deniability. Satisfaction. Save up and get the whole set. -32KofRAM
  • Gee, two for the price of one! Who'd a thought it? Duh. -32KofRAM
  • Set her screen saver to the blue screen of death. Turn on the "Content advisor" for her browsing, make it an extremely annoying password to enter, like 10763KaZaMMzor_Z. Also, Set the PC to power efficency mode, so that it goes to sleep after 5 minutes of inactivity. -PeterGibons

  • 4. WarGames: the sequel?!
    Would love to have bumped the link of the day but it's pretty good.

    Okay, in a continued effort by Hollywood to shit and piss all over our precious memories, we have... WarGames 2: The Dead Code.

    wikipedia:
    Offsite Link

    imdb:
    Offsite Link

    Direct to video (and pirated to BitTorrent last month) for a reason.

    [By: Mushroom / 2008-07-03 Do not spill the buckets of stupid!]
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    Comments

  • Also available at alt.binaries.matrix. -Stryker One

  • 5. Message Board Question
    So, I got a star from someone(Loon, always give credit where credit is due) and I have been able to view/post with all the star bennies, but I cannot access the message board are. Well, I can go there from the member's area and when I login it tells me the username specified doesn't exist, it when I click return to index I can see the message board, but can't post.

    Am I supposed to have access or is this something that I shouldn't have access to? Just wondering since I am a star member via donation. I just don't see anywhere to sign up or whatever and figured that this would be the same username that I have. Anyway, just wondering if it's a bug or I need to do something more. Thanks guys.[By: Slartarama / 2008-07-03 Ian Kaskan: "The only reason your cat doesn't kill you in your sleep is because then there'd be nobody to feed it. But it wants to."]
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    Comments

  • I was able to access the boards just by being registered (no need for a star for that), so I'd say bug. -TheDeathOfRats
  • I agree. I've been a member for 7 years, just recently paid for my star. No diff in members area other than the tech calls recordings and access to the in-site java based irc content. -Grembo
  • You don't need a star to access the message board... however, I've learnt from experience that the username field is case-sensitive - could this be the problem? -Shaede
  • case sensitive and password has a limit of 8 characters. -frprinterwiz
  • I'm using the same password/username as the one for the main, is this correct? -Slartarama
  • Yes, that is correct. -chazz

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