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Tech Stories Archives - December 2000

21. Isn't that what I said?
I knew this was going to be a bad call after the greeting. Me: *Company Name* Tech Support can I help you? Customer: Is this tech support? Me: Yes Customer: Is this *Company Name* Me: Yes! Customer: I need some help. 2000-12-20 By:my_*relative here*_is_a_computer_expert
[By: Shamun / 2000-12-20]
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22. Inspired by 'relative-here'...
Not my story, but worth sharing.... If you think the "[company] Tech" "is this company? is this tech?" is amusing, try this: My best friend was stationed at an Army base, and the conversation went like this: SPECIALIST - "You have reached the US Army[battallion name] of [corp name] at [base name], this is [rank and name], this line is unsecure; how may I help you, sir or ma'am?" (I know I'm forgetting a few words here, it was a looong shpeal) ... GRANDMA - "Is this the Army?" 2000-12-20 By:mushroom
[By: mushroom / 2000-12-20]
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23. Prank calls to AOL
Me: AOL tech support can I get your name please...skip info getting part. Me: How can I help you this evening. Cust: Yes, For some reason or another when I click on "Sign-On" a message pops up and it says that it is performing a low level format. This went on for maybe another 4 minutes until I figured out that he had no Network adapters for AOL and that ment he wasn't using AOL I transfered him back into the que so another poor soul that does this God-awful job for AOL could have a laugh once in a while. 2000-12-21 By:Ccomp5950
[By: Ccomp5950 / 2000-12-21]
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24. "Registration code?"
i just got this call. Me- (greeting) Cust- "Your installation program is pretty inexplanitory! I put in the registration code but it says that it's bad." Me- "Uhmm, sir i've another registration code that you can..." Cust- "Now, do I need to use the letters in the registration code also?" Me- (trying not to laugh as i go to the mute button to share this piece of pure genius with my co-workers) Cust- "It shows on the example there that it's a 10 digit number." Me- (after i've calmed down from the laughter) "Sir, youe'll need to use the whole registration code." Cust- "Even though it's more than 10 digits?" Me- "Yes, sir." this was a first ever for me. 2000-12-22 By:Anais210
[By: Anais210 / 2000-12-22]
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25. Amazingly stupid
I work in the 24/7 cust help line at the cable company. A customer calls in saying his cable has been out for a week and he wants a credit, he wants a tech on site asap, he is going to sue us, and calling me an idiot because I said we had no outages in his area, especially not for over a week. After he ranted for 10 minutes, with me agreeing every time he insulted me and the company which of course further angered him, I got him to troubleshoot a bit. I asked him to press the power button on his cable box. He calls me names, insisting hes already done that. Hes actually turning the power on and off on his tv. When I finally explain to him the difference between our box and his set he presses the power button and viola! it magically works. He hangs up on me, Im sure since he has to feel like a complete retard. Which he was. So to further embarass him, I call him back, polite as ever, saying Im sorry we lost the connection. He hung up on me again. I called 3 more times. I hope this guy doesnt operate any heavy machinery. 2000-12-25 By:cyrus360
[By: cyrus360 / 2000-12-25]
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26. Waiting for the expert.
A while back I used to work at a large retail home electronic store. No, not Radio Shack. =P I approached a old couple and asked if they needed help finding the right system for them. They said, "oh no, were waiting for our friend. hes a computer expert." So I kept an eye on them waiting for their expert to show. In walks another old guy to join them. They peruse the aisles a bit. The "expert" suddenly finds one to his liking. He yells over to the old couple "Hey Marge! Get this one! Its got speakers and a color tv with it!" I respect a man who knows the value and rarity of a computer WITH speakers and a color tv. 2000-12-25 By:cyrus360
[By: cyrus360 / 2000-12-25]
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27. Auto cupholder
Cstr calls and informs me that her "automatic cupholder (on the computer) is broken". I asked her "your what?". She informed me again that her "automatic cupholder is broken". Found that she had thought that cd-rom drawer was a cupholder and that it had broken in half. What a Bubba! 2000-12-26 By:techdoe
[By: techdoe / 2000-12-26]
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28. Friends,
I lug the computer over to a LAN party hoping for some good wholesome killing, expecting the usuall bickering over games and such. The others attending were all self proclaimed 'Computer Experts' one of them even managed to drop <*caugh Kicked*> out of Devry! To discover: 1 person arrived without a NIC, 2 people arrived without the required software, 1 person decided that that thick black cable that connects to the power supply wasnt really all that important. After that was resolved one of them still had issues with their monitor, said i broke it (i drive kinda fast), hmm mayhapps if we plug it in, right side up, 'Oh i thought it was kinda hard. Later that mounth another "friend" also managed to plug their monitor in, but you see he explaimed, its not our fault, its the companys, we have the same case! (Same case, different video card in different slots, someone got in the gene pool when the lifeguard wasnt looking). I dont talk to them anymore. 2000-12-26 By:pktloss
[By: pktloss / 2000-12-26]
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29. I want your Browser!
I work at a major xDSL ISP. One the other supervisors there got an escalation call from a lady wanting a supervisor. After listening to her yelling and screaming, and overall frustration...That took 20 minutes....That supervisor finally found out what she wanted---OUR INTERNET BROWSER....She didn't want to use Internet Explorer or Netscape(which we provide on our install CD), she wanted our browser. It seems as though she thought every ISP provided the they're own browser to surf the internet--you know like AOL (well we all know it's integerated into IE, but she couldn't figure that out) That supervisor tried his best to explain to her that we don't provide our "own" browser, that it was up to the customer. We provide the service, it was up to the customer to figure out how to surf. She felt as though this was something all ISP's did--NOT! Needless to say everyone had a good laugh over it. 2000-12-27 By:striker069
[By: striker069 / 2000-12-27]
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30. We screwed up his browser!
Had a customer call in mad as helel that we somehow got into his computer and changed his browser. Pulled up his account, saw that he was a new install from yesterday. After talking for about 15 minutes I finally reallized that our home page was different and he was mad about it. It appears we should have never hired an online editor to do our site, and this guy must be mad everytime someone updates their website. 2000-12-27 By:Mykll
[By: Mykll / 2000-12-27]
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31. Virus on the cable box!
I really wish I could be making this one up. I wuold hate to think some of our users are really this damn dumb. We provide cable internet access as well as cable TV service. Got a customer call in, claims he had a virus on his computer, so he decided to go buy a new computer. Hmm... But it gets better. He hasn't hooked up the new computer online yet. He has a splitter going to his TV and computer, so our cable modem and cable box were on the same line. He wanted to know if his cable box could have gotten a virus from his computer. And if so, how to get rid of it. Told him he was safe, but on afterthought I should have asked him his TV brand name. Then tell him that there is a known problem with that brand getting a virus from a cable modem. He better call the manufacturer and download a virus program to his TV. 2000-12-27 By:Mykll
[By: Mykll / 2000-12-27]
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32. floppy wont fit...
This story takes place at a television station down in Waco Tx. Woman calls into our tech support line and says that the update disks that we had mailed down to her wouldnt fit inside the server. I ask her to doublecheck to make sure that there is not already a disk in the machine. No. She even pushed the eject button. Cool. I ask her to confirm that the slideguard on the floppy is not messed up or loose. No. At this point since we were located remotely, I told her to talk to the station chief engineer (usually the only person at a tv station who is computer literate, but not always) to crack the case and just see if maybe something is blocking the 3.5' drive. He calls me back 15minutes later to inform me that 2 out of the 3 disks we mailed had been CRAMMED into the floppy encasement. He had to pry them out with plyers... 2000-12-28 By:Quayludious
[By: Quayludious / 2000-12-28]
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33. broken machine woes
Story takes place at a TV station in Salinas Cal. Arrived at the station after a hell flight from Chicago. All the equipment was due to be onsite when I arrived, and the station was using an outside contractor to setup the network server and workstations. Cool. All I have to do is install the software on the server/clients, etc. I called the day before and talked to the chief engineer out there and he said that there was a 'small' problem with the server but that it would be taken care of by my arrival. Cool. The 'small' problem was that the server box (a DEC Venturis slimline case {was a while ago}) had fallen off of a truck at the UPS loading bays and was ran over by a fork lift. It was literally bowed in the middle. Not only did UPS still deliver it, but the chief engineer didnt think this was an issue for my installation... 2000-12-28 By:Quayludious
[By: Quayludious / 2000-12-28]
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34. Been there, hated that.
Ever had to go out to a customer site and your boss forgot to tell you something? or the sales person made some promise that they were SURE the installer could handle. TV station in San Diego. Simple NT network install, 4 workstations, 1 printer. Didn't know anything about the required SNA Gateway that needed to be installed. Dont know JACK about how to install or configure SNA Gateway or how to get those 200yr old TN3280 cards to work. I call my immediate boss asking WTF. He tells me to make the best of it and if I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it. Well, hell, end of year performance reviews were coming up. I simply called Microsoft Support. I gave them my bosses credit card # (like any good techy you keep a little book full of numbers you trip across for just such an emergency, right?) and I talked to a very helpful young lady at MS who literally walked me thru the entire process even how to configure the old cards. It was probably the best experience I've ever had to date with MS support, and it only took 3hrs. 2000-12-28 By:Quayludious
[By: Quayludious / 2000-12-28]
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35. Been there, hated that (pt 2)
So my old job used to have travel. One of our customers was AFRTS (Armed Forces Radio/Television services). 2 locations, 1 in California and 1 in Frankfurt. I lucked out and got both. I was psyched. Never traveled to europe and now I was doing it on someone elses bill. Cool. Little background info: This was about 4yrs ago when we still had a database application capable of running on a DOS-based machine. 486/25 with 16mb+ and we were happy. Ok... so I get to the site get introduced to the station engineer. He shows me this sweet looking full rackmount Compaq system. Top of the line for its time (Think it was a duel P200 w/256mb) I ask him where the machine I'm going to be working on is located at.... Thats it. I stare at him blankly for a moment and then ask him why such a large configuration. He tells me thats what our salesperson told him.... I checked my paperwork and it was slated for a machine with a min P200 cpu and 32mb of memory. He tells me well he figured that since MS SQL can use that memory and the speed that it would be better... Salesperson had made mention of MSSQL somewhere in the conversation... its a DOS-based database application I tell him that can run on a 486/25. His jaw drops... his department spent roughly 30000dm (about $15,000 american) on the system. Have I told you that I hate salespeople? 2000-12-28 By:Quayludious
[By: Quayludious / 2000-12-28]
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36. Been there, hated that (pt 3)
have I told you that I hate salespeople? Salespeople internal to the company who if they dont like the answer they like from you will check with someone else to see if they get one they do like? Salespeople who will promise the customer the earth, moon and sky to make a sale and then let the poor developers or techs sort it out? So I was in Frankfurt, Germany. I get called on the last day of my less than smooth install from my boss. They just signed a deal with The Weather Channel, or in German 'Der Wetter Kanal'. They wanted me to go from Frankfurt to Dussledorf, do the install, change my airline tickets and return from Dussledorf. Simple NT network install, server and software installation on 3-4 workstations. Cake. I get to Dussledorf, make my way to the brand new building that housed the station. Impressive site... TWC spent close to 3million dollars to give a cable weather service to a part of the country where 75% of the population DOESNT have cable. I get the tour of the facility and I ask where the machines are. I get pointed to an impressive computer room, with racks of computer and television equipment, and 1 lone Novell server. Did I mention I didnt know JACK about Novell? I ask him where the NT server was that I was supposed to do my install on. Oh... that... it never came in, but your salesperson said that you can run under Novell. Grrrrrr..... 2000-12-28 By:Quayludious
[By: Quayludious / 2000-12-28]
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37. Is The power On?
The User Calls up and says he cannot get online. I have him look at his cable modem, and he has no lights Here's the text of the actual ticket that i made: Flip light switch...now have lights. check online...OK The customer was wondering whe those outlets under the Light switch weren't working. Thank God for elephant tranquilizers. 2000-12-30 By:Myrkul
[By: Myrkul / 2000-12-30]
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