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Tech Stories Archives - June 2001

21. How did I know I'd get you again #2
Ahh the relay call. Deaf person types to a person that tells you what their typing, then types what you tell them back. These will come along when your talk time are doing just great and blow them all to shit. Got one from Oregon awhile back. After 7 minutes I determined that yes the client did in fact have an account with us. She then types that she has a hearing friend with her. Can she have her friend call back and continue the call? I say yes. She ask if they should ask for me. I explain that we can't do person specific transfers and anyone they get should be able to help. I then automatically KNEW that I'd get that call again. That's the way my luck runs. So when her friend calls back in it's verification time. We usually ask for a secret word and suggest using the mothers maiden name. Well they didn't use that. After I got the Cred Card Numb., the e-mail address, home address, and home phone numb her firend ask if I could tell her waht the verification word is. Why yes I can, it happens to sapho. S-A-P-H-O. Did you know that you can actually hear a person blush over the phone? Well up til that point neither did I. I know better now. She starts stammering and stumbling and trying to timidly ask if they could change that. It's brief beautiful moments like those, that make the job all worthwhile. 2001-06-06 By:Lord Savaunt
[By: Lord Savaunt / 2001-06-06]
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22. Can I get anything off?
I had already left for the day when I received a call from Robin saying her computer had crashed and had some "disk check" running. I told her to leave it alone and I would get to it first thing in the morning. When I went to look at it she explained everthing that she and another person had done to it AFTER I said to leave it alone. She then said that she had her fan sitting on the CPU and it had fallen over and wondered if that could have damamged the hard drive. I quickly determined that her hard drive was damaged and we would have to replace it. When I looked under her desk I saw her tower was laying on it's side. When I asked her why she said, "I wanted to put my feet up so I'm using it as a foot rest." When she asked me if I thought she could get anything off her old hard drive I told her she could get her *&^* feet off it. 2001-06-06 By:Joscar
[By: Joscar / 2001-06-06]
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23. EU line of the day:
"I can't run System File Checker, I only have one line." 2001-06-06 By:mushroom
[By: mushroom / 2001-06-06]
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24. Phrase of the day from EU
This 'dancing computer animation' has ruined my life. 2001-06-07 By:shooric
[By: shooric / 2001-06-07]
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25. Phrase of the day from EU
What do you use a PC or MAC? EU: ...hm... GATEWAY! 2001-06-07 By:shooric
[By: shooric / 2001-06-07]
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26. Phrase of the day from EU
My computer tastes like metal. 2001-06-07 By:shooric
[By: shooric / 2001-06-07]
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27. Error 633
I reinstalled the modem and ask guy to try connecting ... modem grabed the line and started to dial... guy yelled "honey! I am on the phone", then "I AM on the PHONE" and "Hangup! Dammit!" 2001-06-07 By:shooric
[By: shooric / 2001-06-07]
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28. It was a dark rainy day
Had this call today ---> EU: I am so tired of this, <beep> I am unable to connect <beep> to the Internet <beep>. I am also unable to check my business email <beep>. I am losing business! <beep> And I cant connect to my company's Intranet <beep>. And now my phone battery is going da ... *click* 2001-06-07 By:shooric
[By: shooric / 2001-06-07]
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Comments

  • I spent about an hour and a half with a guy who had a beepy phone. Two beeps every 30 seconds. I almost climbed a clock tower with a high-powered rifle. -ShutUpAndHangUp

  • 29. EU words of the day
    "I turn on my computer, and now my monitor is all pinky. As time goes by, it goes to normal. I can't read my email or the browser because it's all pinky. Do you think it's the monitor, it's maybe seven years old. Because it's all pinky when I start up." 2001-06-07 By:mushroom
    [By: mushroom / 2001-06-07]
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    30. EU words of the day (forgot this part)
    "...Because it's all pinky when I start up. My monitor is old like me." 2001-06-07 By:mushroom
    [By: mushroom / 2001-06-07]
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    31. what are you wearing?
    When asking a client to get a cotton or lint free towel to clean a cd the following conversation just took place. I asked her to get a towel to wipe off a disk she says "I don't have a lint free towel!" I asked "how about a clean cotton T shirt." She says, "I guess I should go get one since I don't have a shirt on." I said nothing just "blink blink." If you remember the show Facts of Life she talked like Jerry from that show. 2001-06-08 By:zims011
    [By: zims011 / 2001-06-08]
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    32. Formatting Server Drives
    I won’t bore you with all the details here. I’ll just say that I am the only techno clued in person in a bank’s marketing department. One day, one thing led to another and we needed the bank wide internet cache cleared on our proxy server. Sounds simple enough. So I go over to IT and ask the server admin to clear the internet cache on the proxy server. With no hesitation at all he said “We’re not supposed to do low level formats on server drives anymore.” I don’t know what part of that sentence scares me the most. I work for a bank, your money is safe with us! 2001-06-08 By:MrZero
    [By: MrZero / 2001-06-08]
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    Comments

  • Move all of your Money to a different Bank - NOW !!! ;) -Wonko The Sane

  • 33. El Mucho Grande Cajones
    So this customer sends me a request for a refund on a piece of hardware that he purchased from us (an extremely large and well known modem manufacturer). Can you believe that, along with the receipt for the modem, he sends me an invoice for the 5.1 hours @$180 per hour of HIS time trying to get his modem to work? Ya - like we're gonna give you a hundred bak on your modem, and 900 more on the side... Lay down the crack pipe beore you fax me again.... 2001-06-08 By:derangedlunatech
    [By: derangedlunatech / 2001-06-08]
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    34. Somehoe this is our fault
    We started troubleshooting her modem over 2 weeks ago. We told her it was a hardware problem, the modem would have to be replaced. She refused. She continued calling for 2 WEEKS (and being told the same exact thing by countless other techs)before reaching me. In this time, through faxes, support emails, and numerous techs she tried convincing us that we just needed to troubleshoot some more, write her new drivers (ya, I'll get right on that!) whatever - short of replacing it. I finally convinced her that her modem needed to be replaced. Some of her comments: "You should give me"<blah blah blah>"for all the difficulty and expense I've been through...and the hundreds of dollars in phone calls over the past 2 weeks..." - even tho we told you the same thing 2 weeks ago and you refused to listen - it's our fault you called us just to hear us tell you the same thing 10 times per day? "I can't be without my modem for that long..." even tho your would have had the replacement by now? "None of the other techs gave me the right answers..." even tho I told you the exact same things? The fun ending? She's going to write to the CEO. As the Customer Relations Manager, guess who gets all those letters? 2001-06-08 By:derangedlunatech
    [By: derangedlunatech / 2001-06-08]
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    35. RTFM
    Just had a woman call trying to install her printer. She didnt bother to read the instructions that came with it, but called immediately because the cd didnt start when she put it in the drive. First step in the instructions: Click Start/Run/Browse. Select cd-rom drive. Click Setup. Click open. Click OK. DUH!! 2001-06-09 By:grembo
    [By: grembo / 2001-06-09]
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    36. You did what with that Knife? Part 1
    I work for ESP, and I work over night (when the weirdos come out) this guy calls in and says he needs a tech to come out, I look and he is not covered by on-site service. I explain that he will need to take it in. He agrues that he is a lawyer and that it does not state it is carry in (it is a generic plan) and that it is not enforcable if it does not state it full purpose. He then says that I need to show him where it states that. I began (I had 4 years of pre- law and can argue till he blue in the face). I finally find out what the issue is- No Power, I try to reset the supply, yadda yadda yadda, and no power, ok sir you must take in the store. He says that he cannot carrying it in because the "monitor cable it stuck" I ask how this happens, "the screws are threaded" I start to sy something when he cuts in " I opened up the back and tried to cut the cable off with a Sharp Knife (yes he said sharp), but it is steel and could not get through" I then said that the he has caused damage and that he should not cut the cable off with a knife.... 2001-06-09 By:raven_illusion
    [By: raven_illusion / 2001-06-09]
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    37. You did what with that Knife? Part 1
    I work for ESP, and I work over night (when the weirdos come out) this guy calls in and says he needs a tech to come out, I look and he is not covered by on-site service. I explain that he will need to take it in. He agrues that he is a lawyer and that it does not state it is carry in (it is a generic plan) and that it is not enforcable if it does not state it full purpose. He then says that I need to show him where it states that. I began (I had 4 years of pre- law and can argue till he blue in the face). I finally find out what the issue is- No Power, I try to reset the supply, yadda yadda yadda, and no power, ok sir you must take in the store. He says that he cannot carrying it in because the "monitor cable it stuck" I ask how this happens, "the screws are threaded" I start to sy something when he cuts in " I opened up the back and tried to cut the cable off with a Sharp Knife (yes he said sharp), but it is steel and could not get through" I then said that the he has caused damage and that he should not cut the cable off with a knife.... 2001-06-09 By:raven_illusion
    [By: raven_illusion / 2001-06-09]
    Comment on Story

    38. You did what with that Knife? Part 1
    I work for ESP, and I work over night (when the weirdos come out) this guy calls in and says he needs a tech to come out, I look and he is not covered by on-site service. I explain that he will need to take it in. He agrues that he is a lawyer and that it does not state it is carry in (it is a generic plan) and that it is not enforcable if it does not state it full purpose. He then says that I need to show him where it states that. I began (I had 4 years of pre- law and can argue till he blue in the face). I finally find out what the issue is- No Power, I try to reset the supply, yadda yadda yadda, and no power, ok sir you must take in the store. He says that he cannot carrying it in because the "monitor cable it stuck" I ask how this happens, "the screws are threaded" I start to sy something when he cuts in " I opened up the back and tried to cut the cable off with a Sharp Knife (yes he said sharp), but it is steel and could not get through" I then said that the he has caused damage and that he should not cut the cable off with a knife.... 2001-06-09 By:raven_illusion
    [By: raven_illusion / 2001-06-09]
    Comment on Story

    39. You did what with that Knife? Part 1
    I work for ESP, and I work over night (when the weirdos come out) this guy calls in and says he needs a tech to come out, I look and he is not covered by on-site service. I explain that he will need to take it in. He agrues that he is a lawyer and that it does not state it is carry in (it is a generic plan) and that it is not enforcable if it does not state it full purpose. He then says that I need to show him where it states that. I began (I had 4 years of pre- law and can argue till he blue in the face). I finally find out what the issue is- No Power, I try to reset the supply, yadda yadda yadda, and no power, ok sir you must take in the store. He says that he cannot carrying it in because the "monitor cable it stuck" I ask how this happens, "the screws are threaded" I start to sy something when he cuts in " I opened up the back and tried to cut the cable off with a Sharp Knife (yes he said sharp), but it is steel and could not get through" I then said that the he has caused damage and that he should not cut the cable off with a knife.... 2001-06-09 By:raven_illusion
    [By: raven_illusion / 2001-06-09]
    Comment on Story

    40. You did what with that Knife? Part 1
    I work for ESP, and I work over night (when the weirdos come out) this guy calls in and says he needs a tech to come out, I look and he is not covered by on-site service. I explain that he will need to take it in. He agrues that he is a lawyer and that it does not state it is carry in (it is a generic plan) and that it is not enforcable if it does not state it full purpose. He then says that I need to show him where it states that. I began (I had 4 years of pre- law and can argue till he blue in the face). I finally find out what the issue is- No Power, I try to reset the supply, yadda yadda yadda, and no power, ok sir you must take in the store. He says that he cannot carrying it in because the "monitor cable it stuck" I ask how this happens, "the screws are threaded" I start to sy something when he cuts in " I opened up the back and tried to cut the cable off with a Sharp Knife (yes he said sharp), but it is steel and could not get through" I then said that the he has caused damage and that he should not cut the cable off with a knife.... 2001-06-09 By:raven_illusion
    [By: raven_illusion / 2001-06-09]
    Comment on Story

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