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Tech Stories Archives - April 2001
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1.
NT Admin? for real?
9PM EST, I get a call from west coast tech support. An NT Admin was brought on the line. He was setting up a training lab and says, "I need help with a problem I haven't seen before." ME "Sure, what's goin' on?" NT Admin "The administrator account is missing from User Manager." I pause. ME "Let's open the User Manager." NT Admin "OK" ME "Tell me everything you see there." NT Admin "Everything but Administrator". Pause. ME (mute button) To tech next to me who is truly an NT expert, I ask "Is it possible to remove the administrator account from NT?" Jim says no, then pauses, thinks for a second and lets out a BUAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH so loud other techs had to mute their calls too .... Finally, Jim says "Ask him if he went into the registry." I ask. NT Admin "Well, yes I had to, to delete the Administrator, but now I can't get it back and I need it on this machine." Jim is still laughing. NT Admin asks if he's laughing at him. I say no, that someone told a joke. Jim is busting blood vessels trying to laugh quietly. I ask NT Admin why the Administrator account had to be removed. NT Admin says they did this on all the machines. I ask how many machines. NT Admin says 9 and they all have to be up and running 7am sharp PST for a class. Long pause. NT Admin asks if I can help. I had to let him know that 1st level didn't have the ability to push OS installs over the network and that he needed to reinstall to get Administrator back. NT Admin "But I was supposed to leave in 10 minutes." oh well ...... 2001-04-01 By:whosfroggy[By: whosfroggy / 2001-04-01]
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2.
same NT Admin next day
... calls and asks for password for NT lab machines he spent all night re-setting up - forgot Administrator password. 2001-04-01 By:whosfroggy[By: whosfroggy / 2001-04-01]
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3.
just in case ....
An analyst on our helpdesk received a call from an extremely rude co-worker/customer who demanded a vendor be dispatched because scandisk ran after shutting down with the power button. Analyst attempted to explain this was a normal function of Windows, that scandisk was supposed to run after an improper shutdown. She demanded to speak to a supervisor ... long story short: vendor was dispatched because scandisk ran after an improper shutdown. 2001-04-01 By:whosfroggy[By: whosfroggy / 2001-04-01]
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4.
Hilarious!!! =D - mousie
It still needs spelling errors and grammar errors to seem genuine, both as a 419 scam and as correspondance from George \"Dubya\". -HidariMak
i dunno ... \"not met neither\" -goblin69
So, how soon until nightline investigates this like they investigated his \"draft dodging\" -STJ
[By: whosfroggy / 2001-04-01]
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5.
uhhhmmm, no?
After hours call from customer/mom at home .... "My son put a virus on my home PC (not work PC) and now it won't connect. Can you fix it?" 2001-04-01 By:whosfroggy[By: whosfroggy / 2001-04-01]
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6.
space was the problem?
Caller was getting "out of memory" errors so he copied C:WindowsSystem to a shared network drive, deleted as much as Windows would allow him too (after FINALLY figuring out how to show all files), then rebooted .... 2001-04-01 By:whosfroggy[By: whosfroggy / 2001-04-01]
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7.
how do they get their jobs????? how do they KEEEEEP their jobs?????
A LAN Admin from our London, England site called (us/1st level) to say they needed a server, with the same name as one he'd just set up, removed from the network. After checking that server name, there was not only 1 other server w/the same name, but a second as well, for a total of 3 servers with the same name. The server w/seniority for the name had had the name for 5 years and later it was found out that though the server was not currently in use, it was expected to be soon. The server second in seniority was a lab experiment and eventually I found out they just picked a random name (this incident took 3 weeks to resolve) and didn't care what name was used, but the person in charge was on vacation. Meanwhile the LAN Admin for the new server, last in senority, stated this was an emergency and since it was a production server, it had priority over the first two - didn't matter who had the name first. Explained registering of server names which he ignored. 1 week after the initial call, I found a 2nd ticket opened by that LAN Admin in which it was stated there was "no WINS resolution" and that he recommended "checking the event log to diagnose the problem" ... wtf? Problem was eventually resolved by person responsible for registration of server names within the company when about 3 weeks had gone by, because even they decided a 1st level tech couldn't possible know what was going on and chose to completely ignore information clearly and properly stated in the original ticket. 2001-04-01 By:whosfroggy[By: whosfroggy / 2001-04-01]
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8.
you called the tech support #, right?
Ask caller for info to bring him up in ticket tracking system. He ignores this and instead asks to speak to someone with a technical background. ME "Ok, what's the problem?" CALLER "Well, it is pretty complicated, I might need to speak to someone with more techincal experience." ME mute, roll eyes, deep breath "Can you describe the problem for me. I'll forward that information to someone else and transfer the call if I'm unable to assist you." CALLER "Ok." ME 2-3 questions, new remote access setup/never connected ... checked configuration, changed host name. CALLER "Wow, it worked!" ME release button 2001-04-01 By:whosfroggy[By: whosfroggy / 2001-04-01]
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9.
password lockout
Caller has a bonafide lockout on Novell account, confirmed by the password reset utility. Worked that morning before he left for an appointment, used same password for 2 months - not due to change for another 30 days, only user on that PC, password is lowercase, caps lock is off and he's at the correct login screen. Caller kept got a lockout on every 3rd try so I confirmed w/Info Security (w/o caller's knowledge) that nothing had been changed (relating to security/being fired, etc.) with caller's account. After 10 minutes of 20 questions, retyping password several times and making sure userid and password are in the correct fields .... I jokingly commented someone must be playing a trick on him. Pause. Caller says, "You, know there are a couple of guys who sit behind me laughing really hard about something, so you might be right. I had the caller open notepad, then type userid and password ... caller didn't use homerow to type with - used 2 fingers/pecked at keyboard and hadn't noticed the "l" and "k" keys had been switched on his keyboard .... retyped password with the keys reversed and he logged in w/no problem. Even when I'd had him reread his userid back to me earlier, he hadn't noticed the "l" and "k" were in opposite places. 2001-04-01 By:whosfroggy[By: whosfroggy / 2001-04-01]
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10.
ya sure, right away
Caller says server is down and a router caused it so we (1st level) needs to call and have router checked, then server rebooted. No one else in caller's area is affected, confirmed with a co-worker and supervisor that they were also on the same subnet. Asked caller when PC last worked. Caller said everything worked fine before PC was replaced that afternoon. 2001-04-01 By:whosfroggy[By: whosfroggy / 2001-04-01]
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11.
The glass is clean.
I just got a call from a guy who sprayed Windex in the ventallation holes at the back of his monitor.
"I was trying to get it nice and clean."
Very clean : Yes
Very functional : No
The moral of the story is:
When the bottle says for use on glass only, USE ON GLASS ONLY.
2001-04-02 By:Crazyhun[By: Crazyhun / 2001-04-02]
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12.
DEAF EU'S
(Note: For the systems I support, there is a special Key Sequence you can use in order for the serial number to pop up on the screen)
(L)User: I tried to get that number up and it isn't coming up.
ME: Okay, sir let's try that again, it's Control, Alt, S as in Sam and it should come up ok in front of you.
(L)User: F as in Frank??
ME: No, sir, S as in Sam
(L)User: Not F??
Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! 2001-04-02 By:FormatRecover[By: FormatRecover / 2001-04-02]
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13.
Aother Deaf EU
I had a call the other day from an eu who was so deaf...
I was taking an eu through msconfig to clear up a bunch of startup items and was at the Open File Dialog Box. I usually spell out each letter with accompanying words for the eus.
ME: M as in Mary, S as in Sam,...
(L)User: F?
ME: No, S as in Sam,..
(L)User: Oh, okay... m... s... okay..??
ME: C as in Cat, F as in Frank...
(L)User: whoa! K as in Kat??
ME: No, C as in CAT (who would spell cat with a K??)
(L)User: oh, okay CCeeee......
Crap! What did I do in a previous life to deserve this?? 2001-04-02 By:FormatRecover[By: FormatRecover / 2001-04-02]
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14.
of course im right
i work for an isp and get an extremely agitated lady calling in because both of her computers are giving her hardware failures. i checked the modem diagnostics on both of them and they both have modems that are not responding. I explain to her that the problem is her modems arent working and refered her to the modem OEM. She wants nothing to do with this and promptly explains to me that both of her computers wroked fine last week, and that she can take her laptop into work right now and itll connect just fine on her network there. i told her i had no doubt it would work because she doesnt use a modem to connect to her network at work. but the fact remains that the modems arent responding and shes "KNOWS" our software did it. When I explain I can no longer help her until her modems are working she hangs up. By some huge improbable odds( the tech gods were smiling down on me), i get the same lady the next day. Her only answer to my question of what did the modem OEM say, is GET THIS GODDAM SOFTWARE OFF MY COMPUTER. i show her add/remove programs and she hangs up on me. looks like she finally realized she had no clue what she was talking about and was pissed cuz i snagged her on it...damn it feels good 2001-04-02 By:the-bastard[By: the-bastard / 2001-04-02]
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15.
Ever hear of upgrading?
Once upon a time, I worked at the church of St. Ream. At the church, I provided luser assistance on very old cable modem network. One frightening evening, while working the mentor line, I receive upon me an escallation. "He wishes to speakith to thou supervisor," the technician recites to me. I take the luser's call. "Why doth you not support my software?!?!?!?" the luser utters. I askith, "For what software you speak of?" "Netscape," the luser replies. The very old cable modem network was in the process of upgrading from Netscape to Internet Explorer, so confusion spread amoungst the technicians. I sayeth to the luser, "For certainly sir, I may troubleshoot your Netscape. What seems to beith the trouble?" "I receive at start a proxy error," speak the luser. "O kind sir, we have turned off the proxy, we must vanquish it from Netscape. What version do you runith?" I say. The luser response, typical, "I dont knowith." "Will thou please click on Help, then contiune to About Netscape...." I say. We discover that ye old luser be using Netscape 2.0! "I am sorry kind sir, not even Netscape supports 2.0," I say. He replies, "But this be your software." "But sir, we havent given Netscape 2.0 for many moons, did you not receiveith our emails about upgrading?" I reply. "I do not useith your email," says the luser. "What beith the paper correspondance with the postal service?" says I. "I do not readith my mail." says the luser. I promptly recite the church of St. Ream's tome of "Support Boundries and obsolence." The luser promtly then spews forth obcenities not heard in the church of St. Ream before or after. I promtly three srike his ass to Mr. Tone. 2001-04-02 By:PSX_Defector[By: PSX_Defector / 2001-04-02]
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16.
Whiner
Aug 28 2000 Problem: Can't get to certain sites. Not in a good mood. Action Taken: Traceroutes to networksolutions, from outside our network and from our email server both die outside of our network. I explained that we couldn't do anything because it is outside our network and we have no control over what happens outside our network. This then degraded into how ISP does a horrible job and how we need to put up a specific link on the webpage for when there are backbone problems. Also he said we need to get redundancy in the backbone connections. I passed the call to Supervisor, who also got an earful as to how we know nothing. Sep 1 2000 Problem: Can't access networksolutions again. Action Taken: Traceroutes show that netsol is dropping routes, I again explained that this is outside of our network and we can't do anything about it. His ignorance shines through again as he only wants to complain about what he does not understand, so instead of being berated for something that's completely out of my control I passed the call to Level 2. LEVEL 2 Tech: Problem: This guy is a total ass... He wants to complain and will not listen. Action Taken: What can I do for you today... He has no answer... He says it is OUR problem that he can not get to networksolutions and audiologyjournal.com on a daily basis. Says it must be our bandwidth and wants this investigated. Why aren't we willing to fix this? Notes: I told him I would investigate and get back to him - Yeah, right... 2001-04-02 By:CAPSLOCK[By: CAPSLOCK / 2001-04-02]
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17.
Maintenance for 50,000+
I do TS for an ISP, and all the techs are connected through IRC: <Level 1 tech> Did we send out an email to customers about an update and some maintenance? <Level 2 tech> not sure Level 1 tech <Level 2 tech> why? <CAPSLOCK> Level 1 tech: I got one from our CEO at home, yeah. Oct 4, 4-6am <Level 1 tech> Yeah that’s the one, I just had a caller thought we would be maintaining HER computer and wanted to know what all we would be fixing on it? <CAPSLOCK> LOL! Umm...sure lady... <Level 1 tech> exactly <Level 2 tech> tell her she should leave her doors unlocked at night as that way we can sneak into her house and 'fix' the computer <CAPSLOCK> "set your alarm for 3:30 and have coffee ready" <Level 2 tech> and a box of doughnuts 2001-04-02 By:CAPSLOCK[By: CAPSLOCK / 2001-04-02]
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18.
So thats what you want me to do...
Simple story with a simple ending. ME: Opening script. Cust: Fix it.
ME: Pardon? Cust: Fix it. ME: Fix what? Cust: Fix it. (Each time the
demand grew louder)One more "fix it" request, and I was going to
lose it. ME: Listen, if you don't tell me what you need fixed, I
can't help you. Cust: FIX IT! ME: Ok....I like guessing games, I'm
going to guess your dial tone doesn't work, lets test it out. *Release*
2001-04-03 By:sweetessence[By: sweetessence / 2001-04-03]
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Comments
LMFAO -DrLecter
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19.
Double-click for godsake!!
Problem: Trying to connect with our software, and it won't - no error. Action Taken: No email waiting on the server. Nothing in the logfiles. Had him close our software with the "X", and he says it "turned blue"!?! Close Program box didn't have anything "not responding" - figured out he meant the ICON had turned blue... Had him fire up our software and try to connect after we hungup: didn't see him connect. Called back: "it's still blue". Told him "after we hangup double-click the icon really fast, our program will popup, and then you should hear it dial out." Took awhile but he eventually connected... 2001-04-03 By:CAPSLOCK[By: CAPSLOCK / 2001-04-03]
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20.
tableturner: In Need Of Work?
This one happened inside the firewall. The person managing my team for the day said, "I got this email I'm going to forward you, do you know anything about this?" I looked at her screen: someone from the Help Desk had been investigating some issue for a customer and came across notes I'd left which he didn't feel were adequate, and mailed the supervisors to report such. Which is nice and all since some people leave horrendous notes, but this one really freaking irked me: Yes, I left four words, but how much more do you need to say about a network outage? The thing that really struck me about this was that said notes A) had nothing to do with the issue he was investigating and b) were left NINE MONTHS PRIOR. I stormed over to ask what gives, and he said he was just doing his job, the notes didn't tell him anything (except everything that needed to be said!), blah blah. My only response, which was sent back to the same chain of people he'd complained about my notes to, was "Don't you have anything more important or current to do? If any action was taken, it would have been in the notes." I think he was concerned about my verbiage; I'd said "<networkname> bites." 2001-04-03 By:mushroom[By: mushroom / 2001-04-03]
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