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Tech Stories Archives - December 2003
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2.
BIG HUGE NEWS!!
BIG NEWS!!
Today, the 1st of December 2003 I am pleased to announce that....(insert fanfare) MISS CRYBABY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!! Yes, she has been fired. For 'job incompetence and creating a hostile work atmosphere'...her appeal against the decision failed and she has GONE! FOREVER!! Yey!!!!!! [By: CommanderData / 2003-12-01]
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My god you must be happy , time for a few celebratory drinks at lunchtime ! -Westgate
What - The Managment cannot do this to us - We all look forward to the 'MISS CRY-BABY' Stories - Hawk, demand a recount, Have the votes counted in Florida, .... (Wow, CD, most of the stress at work has just left - what took them so long to work out how bad she was????) - Wonko The Sane
This needs to be on the the front page of the site :-) . Whilst I agree that the ammunition will need to come from somewhere else for CD's stories, at least the powers that be have at long last seen sense.... good for you CD.... hope this now turns even better in your favour.. -Windy Miller
Woo hoo! My only fear now is that she'll start working somewhere near me. -smellystudent
Grats to you CD, X-mas came early for you - enjoy it while you can u never know who they will get in to replace her, maybe me or one of your freinds in TSC who have enjoyed the storys :)) -s0nix
Just as long as she stays in the UK. Hava a happy day! -LaserGuru
Congrats! What was her reaction? Really now, we all know you hung around and watched. :) -Jay911
One has to wonder about the "Devil you know" principle. I hope she doesn't end up somewhere that she can cause more trouble. But congratulations and my condolences for the loss to your company. Hah! -Quinn
Let us all join CD in celebration. Then, let us all be on the lookout: The evil in the tech universe will find a new minion through which to express itself - now that it's been recognized and defeated at CD's job site, it will manifest somewhere else, in some other guise. Watch the skies. And the eyes off all new hires - for that tell-tale Chuckie-like glint of predatory awareness. -Skylark
Niiiice. Now we'll all have to come over and celebrate properly with you. =) -techiegoddess
Like I said - she appealed against the decision, but after consulting with the union she realised she didn't have a leg to stand on and left. In tears. Although there are plenty of morons left here, none are as bad as that BITCH. -CommanderData
Today just gets better and better :) Congrats CD -Chewdini
We all know about her incompetence and hostile environment, but what finally convinced the powers that be? I feel like I've missed an important episode of a soap opera (if that isn't an oxymoron)! Details, please, details! For now I'll content myself in raising a glass to your fortune. -ladysethos
Congrats, CD! The tech gods have smiled on you this once. Let us hope she is not replaced with somebody even more incompentent. (Memo to Hawk: You can cancel the additional 50 MB of storage space you were planning for additional MCB posts next year.) -RiffRaff
According to my reckoning, you still have two wishes left. (CONGRATS!!!) -snowcrash
Apparently....she scored so badly in her recent job apprasial, and they had warned her twice to pick up her performance - 3 strikes and yerrout! Mind you - what am I going to post about??? -CommanderData
<Bob> So we just went a ahead and fixed the glitch. </Bob>
<Lumbergh> Yaaaaa Greeeeaaaat.</Lumbergh>
-RedSwingline
<cue Special Ed> Yaaay, MCB got fired, yaaaaayyyy!</cue Special Ed> -hkypipe
The TechOgre household is very happy for you. I saw this before taking the 4yr old to school, and even he said, "The nice lady in England got rid of the bad lady? Yaaay!!". -TechOgre
Sending Good Holiday Spirits your way.. Congrats..now go find someone else to post about...does this mean the MCB website does not need to go up? -neuman1812
Hurray!!! I am so happy for you CD. However, while I would not like to inflict MCB on anyone else, I can see where our story quotient will go down. Good Luck!!! Hopefully they won't fill her position with another brainless, neeping droid! -ecoli
Congrats to you, CD, it's a nice Xmas present. However, on the human side, I do feel sorry for her a bit. Getting canned just before Xmas really sucks. I speak from experience, from when Symantec closed down it's Canadian call centre just in time for Xmas of 2001. But, none-the-less, I'm glad your stress level has just plummeted. -SwedishChef
Hooya!! This is a great day in the neighborhood!!! I hope she cried her freekin eyes out. -rockytech
CONGRADULATIONS!!! (i'm still offline, just stoped at a friends today and decided to check in.) that's the best news i've heard in a long time. -wolfprince
I'll be raising a pint to your fortune, CD! -CelticSkyhawk
*busts in to chorus of...* DING DONG THE WITCH IS GONE... -Zentar
I'm thinkig now is about the right time to turn MCB on to TSC </icing on the cake> ;] -tekazoid
As much as I'm going to miss the Miss CB stories, I'm happy you got that dolt out of there while you still had hair on your head. =-) -Techromancer
wohooo! -kennz
Wow, I can't imagine how happy people everywhere are to hear that... such a beautiful sound -mulder416
I'm glad for you - let's just hope that you won't get worse from there. Y'now WYSIWYG... -Dr Jerkyl
While I am very happy for you CD, it is the end of a TSC era. No more Miss Crybaby Stories!!! I don't know whether to sing the Hallelujah Chorus or to play Taps. -TheSingingTech
You'll have to post more stories of 'Self Abuse' - (Anyone who uses a Lipstick like that...) - How about older stories of Miss Cry-Baby - the ones you think no-one will believe... -Wonko The Sane
"Do a little dance, make a little love, get DOWN TONIGHT"....sing it SingingTech -burrkiss
*joins Zentar in the chorus* Any time you lose out on a source of amusing stories is a loss, true; but hey, imagine how much longer your life is going to be without her stressing you out! *grin* -teivrann
Woohoo! A celebration is in order. Have a Scotch on me. -pixel
Happy for you. Unhappy for us, no more mcb stories. . . . Now you just need to hope you don't wake up. -nm
WOO HOO!!!! Special brownies on me!!! -phsspok
Since she'd been fired are they going to fill her position? Just think of the irony if you got her old job...
-Starfury
and since we are on that topic > who gets to fill up her old job ? starfish or not ? -kennz
Justice is sweet! -Alternatech
Now we can anticipate 'Miss CB would have done/said...' stories from CD. :) -maciarc
Final score (after extra time) - Commander Data 1, Neeping Luser Crybaby Starfish Bitch 0 (as in zero job at HWWs place from now on...)
Well done you! I hope you put your two pennyworth in with regard to her general uselessness where it would do most good - HR Droid central or Moron Exec. towers.
One thing springs to mind though - there will be more monitors & keyboards ruined as CD switches to posting stories about lipsticks, tic-tacs etc. inserted into bodily orifices & the disasterous effects of sugar & artificial sweeteners on her biochemistry (gibber, bounce, prrrrp). -lineswine
<liberal rant> that's just horrible to fire someone a few weeks before christmas, Oh wait did I say christmas I mean winter break</liberal rant off> I'm glad to get that out of my system, I could feel my IQ points drop just typing it -SGTARKyTEK
"It's the end of an era as we know it, and I feel fine!" Condolences on your recent loss of posting material, and congratulations on your new stress-lowered life, CD. -TechnoVampire
Oh the pure happiness of all happy days. I will miss the lowering of my IQ by reading the saga that was MCB, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make to better CD's life. Hope her replacement is a true non starfish. -MightyMouse
Free drinks for everyone. Party by proxy to celebrate. Just make sure she doesn't end up working with one of the rest of us. Postal, you think you can make sure of that? CD, what are you going to do without a consistant source of hilarity for the rest of us? -Disallowed
Easy, I start posting the stuff from the Mis CB archives. Consider that I have a back load of over 30 messages in my 'to be posted to TSC' folder at work...... -CommanderData
you could also post some unwritten facts about miss cry baby . -kennz
My turn to congratulate you in your workplace becoming more tolerable (and less tattle-able, NOW what will you talk about?? heh heh!). I have a friend with a MCB at her office, the person who covers her when she's at lunch. Dead ringer for the ex-crier at your place. -Mushroom
(plays FF victory theme) WoohoO! (raises a Dr. Pepper) Congratulations CD, you're free from the evil evil Miss CB. I'd offer ya a drink, but being across the pond.. -Warrick
Congrats CD! =0) <sacrifices chicken/cow/goat to the Tech gods in humble praise> -ThreeBucks
That letter to santa paid off :> -RTFM
w00t! Miss CB gone, CD happy... and thirty MCB stories yet to read! Woohoo! That sounds like Merry Christmas all around! Yay HWW! -chazz
is there a new mcb in the wings waiting to come out? -postal tech
Farkin A. Much as I hate for anyone to lose their job before Christmas its not like she hadn't had the warning. Our Christmas wish was granted recently too with the Useless Manager from Hell resigning due to performance issues. -K1W1
I'm sorry to tell you all this but miss crybabies are like cockroaches. Kill one and 2 more take it's place -atomicbill
Congrats CD! It's about time management somewhere stopped breathing methane. On a side note, this has got to be one of the most replied to posts ever on TSC. -Grembo
Congratulations! That's great news. Now just tell me she's not heading North. We have two offices in striking distance. -rurwin
WOW!!! Looks like an early Christmas to you. Congrats! (...and condolances to the TSC members on their loss of juicy reading material) -leonine
Congrats. Your workload has just been decreased by 200%. But, what will WE read about now? ;) -QOL
*GASP*.. I haven't had my TSC fix for a couple of weeks and came back to see Miss Crybaby is gone! WOO HOO! Congrats CD! -StarLight
Many Congrats to you, CD! May your stress levels be greatly reduced!!! *does the dance of joy* -da5ve
Some little village has just regained its idiot. -Wraith556
Well whadda ya know? Sometimes a good deed DOES go unpunished. I just hope none of her offspring ever need your insistance, although it would make for more good stores. -kman52000
Why does everything good happen on my day off? Everything else has already been said, so I'll just say "CONGRATULATIONS!" -Bobsentme
Suddenly I feel a chill. Hell HAS frozen over now. I submit this day as a national holiday. -suprtechy26
dude!! what great news to come back to. ;) -mousie
Man, I missed something in my absence! The only downside is that she could probably find a job in India... -Clavenater
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3.
I got great service!
Just want to say that I called Sympatico tech support, and I got great service. I also introduced an agent to TSC! If you're reading this, thanks for the help! Got me to tier 3 in less than 10 minutes! Good job guys!![By: TechOgre / 2003-12-01]
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Sympatico? You must be out east... must say I've never had that sort of result in talking to them, and I work for an affiliate... -namor
I usually get good service from them as well. Of course there are a few idiots working there, but I have usually managed to get a competent tech on the line. Mr. Sympatico tech, I salute you! -garwain
I had to deal with them once. They guy who installed my NIC, it was fubared. it kept crashing my PC totally(couldn't even use my mouse). So I call them up, and complain it. Mention that I will switch if this problem isn't resolved as it's a NIC they provided. Sure enough, they refused, once the threat, next day my NIc was there and worked fine :) -Bunglehawk069
ive usually have the problem fixed up or a work round in place, by the time ive heard the same elevator musak song 2x. -Harm
Their call center's maybe a mile from mine. lol I got a couple friends there, and I've heard some wonderful stories... One guy's got a list of EUPOTD's that takes up something like 7 pages in Word. -RCNitro
I agree. Had to call last week cause everything being sent to my mail account was bouncing back due to "mailbox over quota". Did the normal, telnet in to make sure it wasn't full (completely empty, no one loves me) and then checked with webmail. Nothing there. Called, waited a grand total of 25seconds on hold, explained what was going on, he whacked the account, recreated it and away I went. Very polite, didn't dispute anything I said and even sent me a test message from his personal email. Needless to say, gonna keep that address and name just in case I need help again. 2 thumbs way way up for Sympatico techs. -Axiom
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4.
Snapped
Last week, a company memo came out to advise everyone that had to work the day after Thanksgiving to take off today (Monday) since that Friday was considered a company holiday. Of course, does this rule apply to support? Hell no. Not only did I have to work a full day Friday (scheduled off, but on call), I had to work a full day Saturday and part of Sunday. I come in today because my manager was out and I needed to get approval to take the day off and they are refusing me. As for time with the company in support, I am one of the most senior people here, I've worked almost every holiday for every year, and I'm tired of getting a headset repeatedly shoved up my ass! I can't take this crap anymore. The other tech for my dept hasn't been at his desk in the last two hours and nobody will say shit to him about it. I think I'm going to vomit the next time the phone rings. Here we go![By: CelticSkyhawk / 2003-12-01]
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<gets Skyhawk a bucket> Document, document, document. Shove papers under some HR drones nose & ask firmly for an explanation. Ask if they understand the word "Discrimination." -Tekkie
I wish I could say they choose you to work on such days because your so much better, but personally I'm with you. I like to have MY TIME more than I do a paycheck some times. Though with the holidays, I'd just assume have more pay than time with family. Thats another story though. -MaskedMarauder
<HR person> "You techie people have families? No sh*t! I thought computers were your friends? </HR person> -Zentar
Tekkie is bang on the nail on this one - what does your colleage have over management/HR/whoever that makes you get the shitty end of the stick all the time? Is he/she more *ahem* "assertive" when dealing with drone etc? (e.g do they bring a heavy duty LART everytime there is a scheduling meeting?)
Maybe it is time to get assertive/sneaky/good blackmail evidence too. -lineswine
Celt man, that's grievously messed up. HR sounds like the best bet (along with maybe throttling the HELL out of the one tech) -Warrick
Celt man, that's grievously messed up. HR sounds like the best bet (along with maybe throttling the HELL out of the one tech) -Warrick
Dude - have you got a copy of your employment agreement - if you do is there a section there that says you are a slave? If there isn't tell to f#$^ off and take some time dude -PsychoTecMonkey
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5.
a box
As i was unpacking 6 Dell Monitors, i noticed that there were instructions printed on the box as to how to open it. I pictured someone staring at a box, studying it intensly as the wondered how to remove the contents. The tape holding the flaps close mystifying them. I hope its not just me that thinks if you are too stupid to open the fucking box, you shouldnt own or install a computer. Even better yet, if dell had to put instructions on it, that means people have CALLED IN asking how to open the box! I mean, really. It has a picture of a box, then a knife cutting open the box, then of someone opening the box, then of pulling off the foam, then of someone pulling out the monitor. Gah! [By: crackshot / 2003-12-01]
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<Devil's Advocate> Probably not because they couldn't figure it out - but because they broke the monitor taking it out incorrectly. </Devil's Advocate> That said, still a distressing lack of sense displayed, yes. -namor
I considered that, but the keywords are they broke it taking it out, which brings us back to the fack they are too stupid to open the box :-p. But i see your point -crackshot
Or someone took a rather large ass knife to it and cut themselves up... on second thought.. -rockytech
Sometimes its tougher to put things back in the box than taking it out. Perhaps the diagram is on there also for RMA purposes? <Devil's Advocate> -MaskedMarauder
What makes you think anyone too stupid to put the monitor back in the box the way it came is smart enough to keep the original box? -maciarc
Magenta was hanging a blind over our living room window last night. The final instruction read, I kid you not, "If another blind is needed, get another blind." -RiffRaff
I can't speak for anyone else, but I've found with big monitors etc. the easy way of removing them from the box is to slit the tape, bend the flaps right back & the roll the box so that the open side is now at the bottom. Now is it a simple matter of lifting the (much lighter) box up from the monitor & not the potentially back-straining act of lifting a heavy monitor out of a box, given that you can't get your centre of gravity under you as you lift the bloody heavy item out of the box! -lineswine
I'm with you on this one, lineswine. Some of the moster monitors I've unpacked have those instructions on the box & it's sooo much easier to uncrate them that way. -Tekkie
me too ! -Spyder19
Having done Dell support for 2 years (thankfully in the past) it doesn't surprise me in the least that instructions are printed on the box. -Grembo
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6.
Phone Service
I got a monster bill for my cell phone. I thought I was double billed. Turns out I was way 9over my monthly minutes. So I dreaded calling in as I had a bit of a run around before with their support.
I was very happy that it was less then a hassle to switch plans. The Rep on the phone was very helpful and nice. Got me set up pretty quick. Sucks ass that I have to pay a huge bill but oh well... I just wanted to say thanks and that I had my doubts about T-Mobile but now I am very happy with them [By: rockytech / 2003-12-01]
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For fear of the huge bills, I started off with a plan that had a good bit more time that I need. The only bill that has scared the crap out of me was after I spent 4 days in the states, and had to make a few calls. 14 minutes talk time cost me $25 in roaming and long distance fees! -garwain
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7.
just when I thought It was happy time
I came in early , then there was celebration ! the phonelines were down. WOOOHOOO. or so I thought ! It was down half a day , all skills <1,2,3,4,5> were zero, zilch, nada,......... 20 mins later all the calls came barging in from HQ. ahhhhhhh. just I thought I was going easy this day and they all come and barge in ... [By: kennz / 2003-12-01]
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8.
"Misalligned"?
Sub calls up. " Umm, uhh I uhh need a tech". So far I have no account information, and the number he's dialing from doesn't match any accounts. "Alright, so are you getting no picture?" ... "No I got a picture, uhh, it's just misalligned." Me: "Er, ok, so the pitcure isn't centered on the screen?" Sub: "Hmmm, er... uhh no, it's misalligned it doesn't match the channels on the box". Ok I'm lost. Me: "Is this happening on more than one tv?". Sub (somewhat flustered): "No, I only have one tv. It's misalligned from the box. Let me get Mary, maybe she knows better"... *muffled noise* Mary (in background sounding somewhat irritated): "What? Who you talkin' to?" Sub: "The <company> Lady." Mary: "Why? I got it fixed. It's working now." Sub: "Oh. ummm.. uhhh, it's working now Mary fixed it... uhhh thanks". Me *blank stare into space : "Er, ok thanks for calling <company>". !?!?!?! [By: Zentar / 2003-12-01]
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Ah... I get it; his two neurons were mis-aligned and not firing properly... -namor
Actually, I think I know what this is. Likely it's an older analog cable box. I've discovered that some of those boxes work by beating frequencies together to change the tuning of the channels; so if the box is set to channel 3 and the TV is set to channel 4, a number of channels will appear one position away from where the TV guide says they ought to be. Mary, I guess, is smart enough to reset the TV to the channel it was suppsed to be on... -chazz
Chazz - I hadn't thought of that (mostly because I've never encountered that). That's interesting. If I had been able to bring up his account, perhaps I'd be able to see if he had an SAB or a different box. Thanks though! :) -Zentar
Chazz - that is the clearest description of superhetrodyning I've heard in a long time! -lineswine
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9.
Aol idiots
Ok, I know we have beaten the idea that AOL has thousands of idiots doing tech support to death. The very select few you browse here being the exceptions.
The customers PC freezes up only when he opens your POS software and it's one of your programs in device manager that is non responding. How do your rationalize having the customer try pinging out and then when it doesn't work tell them to call their ISP. (side note this customer has cable inet and still using AOL)
I still can't find out how the AOL tech got the customer to show "request timed out" unless you were trying to ping while your shity software had frozen the PC. His cable connection is perfect, can use IE until blue in the face. Open AOL and nothing works. [By: MightyMouse / 2003-12-01]
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<AOL Script Monkey>That would be a hardware issue with your modem, you need to call your hardware manufacturer</AOL Script Monkey> -TechnoVampire
Yes, I work for the Canadian version of the aformentioned craphole of an ISP... The worst of it is knowing how to fix the problem and not being allowed to. I can get fired for going beyond that retarded script... How's that for customer service, kids? God, I hate working for Satan. -RCNitro
I second that. When I worked at AOL, I can't tell you the number of times I was called over by my supe after he listened to one of my calls where I actually fixed someone, but went against what was supposed to be done. -boognish
trust me if that was anyone working under me it would end up they way crybaby has - also thanks for add - "The very select few you browse here being the exceptions." :) -s0nix
I saecond s0nix cheers for the selct few comments but you would be surpised at some of the people here actually believe the scripts -freakclown
the entire worl is world is run by large business who doesn t have a clue or care to make it easy. The just know statistic and the profit rate. I troublleshoot for the customer not the business. S.S. -ss
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10.
Bad power supply...
Recently had a guy come in who figured his psu was dead, try to turn system on and nothing happens. I noticed a faint buzzing coming from inside the psu when I tried powering it up, figured I'd try swapping in a new one. Still no power, so I'm leaning over the system peering at the mobo to see if there's a smoked cap or something, and I notice this smell. I think, "yeah, that's got to be the problem," and try to see where it's coming from. Then I notice a small air current coming out of the psu, turn to look, notice the smell got REALLY strong, SNAP-POW, sparks and smoke, about 2 inches from my face. After I got the ticker pumping normally again, I figure something is shorting on the mobo. After looking at it for a few minutes, notice it doesn't seem to be mounted right...................................
NO STANDOFFS!!! There were only 3 screws holding it in, it was floating at about the right height in the middle because all the ports were stuck in the faceplate at the back, but at each side the board is bent down with screws tightening it right to the metal plate. Then I notice, old mobo & cpu, fancy new tower......somebody trying to do their own upgrade?! All I heard when I told him was, "uhhh." I actually felt sorry for the guy, either he was trying to learn to do it himself, or he got a buddy to do it for him, now it's hooped.[By: jydez / 2003-12-01]
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I made that mistake once when I was young and foolish... The PC worked fine, but I every time I touched the case I got a shock, and the pc rebooted. -RCNitro
RCNitro: I could have some fun with a setup like that... <bfeg> -RiffRaff
I fried a mobo once plugging in a NIC. (NIC was also fried). I was replacing it inside of a college access lab machine that was super dusty. Well, I had used an air compressor to get the dust out, but it seems that some of those tiny metal shards from the cheap casing got into the slot.. and well.. nice, loud, pop noise when I powered up. -Zentar
Zentar:
Air compressor? Or compressed (canned) air? If the former, maybe it was the condensed moisture. -Grembo
No, compressor or compressed air. I've seen systems so dusty that the use of air just moves it all around. Thus the dust, fillings, shavings, what ever just gets moved about to another spot. This turns out to be a wonderous little catastrophy in the possible making. Especially should the dust end up in the power supply. This has about the same effect as setting fire to a harvester on a farm thats full of grain. Nice big, blazing fire. Hot dogs anyone? I like to use a vaccuum instead. -MaskedMarauder
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11.
sympathy for dell techs
had to call dell today to get a replacement hard drive for a laptop today. nothing terribly stupid about it, except it was so cold in their place that i could hear the guy's teeth chattering over the phone. so if anyone reading this is management over there, do my brother-in-arms a favor and turn up the heat![By: afflictionwisp / 2003-12-01]
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I have several friends that are Dell techs, and the company they work for doesn't care about it's employees.... maybe we could route some of the starfish calls to their management!!!!! -duckhead
When I worked in retail, to turn the heat or air up and down, it had to be routed to Minneapolis. There were no in-store controls for those systems. They checked out the sensors in the store, and if it wasn't hot in one area, but was in another, they wouldn't change it...unless there was a major difference. -ThatDevilTech
Thinks of mickey mouse version of "A Christmas Carol"... with poor mickey trying to use one little piece of coal... -Zentar
i called a dell tech support got an english speaking person. sent the motherboard today and getting the tech to install it tomorrow. dell laptop gave up the ghost -SGTARKyTEK
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12.
not a story but - oh happy day!
i'm finally gainfully employed again! i've been out of work since we moved in september so this is really something to make me happy.
also it looks like we are finally getting rid of the lease for our other apartment so thats less $$$ getting shipped off. :)
had to share the good news.[By: marionette / 2003-12-01]
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Congrats!
-crackshot
Congratulations... looks like a day for blessed news in general.
-Warrick
congrats ! -kennz
*cries* now if only I could get through college and get more pay and get out of my parents house.... *cries* Life sucks... -MaskedMarauder
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13.
too good for the offsite link area
ok this was too good for the offsite link area. how would you like to be the tech who supports this new device?
http://edition.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/11/26/offbeat.health.orgasm.reut/index.html
[By: postal tech / 2003-12-01]
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And Christmas is just around the corner! Oh yeah, baby! -Tekkie
That, would be intriguing... -Warrick
man I would rely like that ! drools ..
wiping slobber over my face ... -kennz
This is soooo sad: "The married woman who tested the machine, dubbed an orgasmatron, had not had an orgasm for four years. " Men are going to be obsolete unless they learn some "skills" ;) -Zentar
What skills? You mean like my alphabet method? ;~} -RiffRaff
Riff- You have been watching too much damn Sam Kinnison! ROTFL! -LaserGuru
When your extra talented like me, you learn to do the alphabet backwards and do shapes, numbers, and seeing if she can guess what I am writing!! :-P -MightyMouse
i will sell ther peoples SOULS to get that job.... and be able to keep a strait face.. -Harm
It isn't that you can do the alphabet, it's that you figure out that she likes "W" over and over again. ;) -mhesseltine
Actually, when I *really* want to drive Magenta wild, I switch to the Chinese alphabet. <G> -RiffRaff
I use the time to write a letter to Santa....the longer the letter, the better presents I get....This year I already know im getting a ATI 9600 Pro 256MB vid card....hard work DOES pay off. <BMFG> -burrkiss
i like to slurp my alphabet soup..</ducks lart> -neuman1812
Hey Riff, can you do this Chinese Character? http://www.formosa-translation.com/chinese/l/ll64.html -Disallowed
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14.
Question
NOt a question, but can any of you give me a list of online places to buy computer parts beside the normal priceline and tigerdirect?[By: DataSolutions
/ 2003-12-01 ]
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www.newegg.com -Zaxtan
If you are in Canada, you can always try www.a-power.com -Grifter
http://www.nextdaypc.com/nd0065431 -Tekkie
I've had good dealings with Comp-U-Plus ==> http://www.compuplus.com/ -RedSwingline
www.wintergreensys.com - A local company here in Indiana, but they'll ship nationwide and probably to Canada, although you'd have to ask to be sure. I know the owner and have been getting most of my parts from him if time is not an issue. Very reputable, easy to work with, and he knows what he's doing. -RiffRaff
www.pricewatch.com -bothra
I like www.enuinc.com -obie099
www.newegg.com is best place, build 2 pcs for me and 2 for my dad from here, they have a+ customer service and their prices are always in the low end of pricewatch, or better. -burrkiss
If you're not using newegg.com, you're a fool. -HotGreenMeat
Suuuuuuuuuurrrrvery says-----------> DINGDIGNDING "newegg.com" -burrkiss
I agree with Newegg.com, I ordered a drawing tablet for my wife from there on a Friday, had it by Monday. -Cuedain
I usually use Axiontech.com -Wolffarmer
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15.
Almost got unemployed
There was a screaming man up at the front counter who was arguing with the supervisor on duty about the 6 adult ppv that were ordered. It was getting kinda loud, so I took myself off the phone to lend my body size (6'2" 210) to the company presence there. I began to walk over to the other front desk lady and pretend to have a conversation, but when I walked thru the door I got a "What are you looking at?"
I have not got the slightest clue as to WHY I said this in front of my dept supe, but I answered his question.
Me: "A man trying to preserve his marriage by denying that he ordered adult PPV and taking out on us."
The man cursed right into my steady gaze and I was half afraid he was going to try and jump the counter and try kicking my butt. He ended up calling me a VERY unique name and storming out.
Now I just wanted to crawl into a hole and not have to look my dept supe in the eyes, but in a very quiet voice she said
"very effective...my office now"
I wanted to cry, I have never felt so stupid in my life, one sentance was going to cost me my job. I ended up getting a verbal thrashing of a life time and took it all without question, which probably saved my job. I apologized to her told her I was just trying to lend my presence to avoid a problem if he got outta hand, but I forgot to bite my tounge. She said she knows but still has to give me a verbal warning but will 'forget' to file it.
SOMEONE up there likes me.[By: burrkiss
/ 2003-12-01 ]
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In both situations I think you and your Supe did the right thing. Thankfully we don't have any problems like that (being as we don't do face to face here) :) However, if they did, my high pitched voice is attached to a 300lb+ frame which is 6'0" :) Yeah I am overweight but would you really REALLY wanna argue with someone that big if you could avoid it?
-Warrick
" I'm not overweight, I'm under-tall." (of course, I'd have to be in the neighborhood of 11'8" to be HWP, but...) -obie099
I'm not big or bulging with muscles, but I do have the advantage of my federal "sabbatical" experience. The correct facial expression and proper control of voice can intimidate the uninitiated just as effectively as muscle bulk. Magenta will tell you that I won't hesitate to fall into that mode if I feel the need to do so. -RiffRaff
pure "non-expression" works well, with the proper gaze of "i dont want to kill you and eat your liver today, dont make me" -burrkiss
Exactly, burkiss. Also, speaking very softly and matter-of-factly is much more effective than screaming death threats. -RiffRaff
One's voice can be a very effective tool in plying the weak willed, I agree. :)
-Warrick
I think this supe deserves a *very* special present this Xmas, if company policy doesn't forbid it.
-CTYankee
Wouldnt it be great if we could be that truthful to all those customers that deserve it? -firebird2k2
Wouldnt it be great if we could be that truthful to all those customers that deserve it? -firebird2k2
I stare them down, and say nothing. Makes you look like a maniac -CommanderData
Fair play on both your parts - your supe had to "toe the company line", but she did manage to bend the said line a bit in your favour. As for you? Well, it did get rid of a tosser cleanly, swiftly & with no loss of blood. I'd call that a good outcome myself. -lineswine
We turn unruly customers over to Pam, a mid-50's lady who is about 5' and maybe 95 lbs on a damp day. Heaven help the customer who crosses Pam. -Grembo
I tend to go with the expressionless stare. Of course, the fact that I'm 6'5", 250 lbs., and routinely go to the gym helps a little bit. <bfeg> -ThirdOfFive
Close one, Burrkiss. Gotta admit, I've been there too. My nickname "Bear" came for a reason. When we get an irate male onsite, I like exit out back, and walk in the front door and step in behind them. Close. With my arms crossed. And a big frown on my face. Calmes them right down... usually. And if they mouth off, I just look at them. Mean like. In all my life, it only failed once. And that guy only got one hit in before he experienced a bear hug he will never forget. -CyBear
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16.
Starfish are everywhere
First off, long time reader, first time submitter. Second, this isn't really a tech story, but the starfish is evident...
Driving home from work on a 4 lane highway, I'm being tailgated by said starfish...brights on, too...I'm in the lane that becomes an exit. There are several large signs leading up to it that proclaim EXIT ONLY! So I'm thinking, "Great, (s)he's going to be on my @$$ for awhile!" Well, just before we both exit, they slip into the other lane and speed past me. What was the point of tailgating me in an exit only lane if you weren't going to exit?? They're everywhere I tells ya![By: Darth / 2003-12-01]
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Back in my younger foolish days I had two of those high-intensity driving lights mounted underneath my rear bumper. Their official purpose was for additional lighting while camping or fishing. But they made nice LARTs if somebody behind me had their high-beams on. <g> Welcome to TSC! -RiffRaff
Knew a guy when I was in the air force who had a baja bug. Had a light bar with 8 high intensity lights on it. He use it for nailing oncoming vehicles with brights on. Worked flawlessly til that one night the oncoming vehicle was a cop car.... LOL -Grembo
When I was a delivery driver, I had a 2,000,000 candlepower spotlight to find the house numbers when the fuktards were too stupid to turn on the porch light. I found out that this works REALLY well for the highbeam dillhole that is behind you. Just rest on your right shoulder, aim backwards and flip the switch. Works 100% of the time. -burrkiss
I see this daily. 3 EXIT ONLY signs and they don't change lanes until they're going off the highway. Then they scare the life out of everyone by suddenly sailing across the shoulder in a panic and cutting in. -clockkingfl
Welcome to TSC dude - man that picture on your bio is SCARY! It looks like every starfishes idea what the nice tech at the other end of the phone looks like. -lineswine
disturbing pic. -burrkiss
They were probably drunk and didnt notice they were an exit-only lane until the last second.... You were lucky they didnt follow you all the way into your driveway. -Brf
man ! I got goosebumps all over just viewing the picture ! scary stuff duff -kennz
<trembling> woooooo</trembling> hehehe -kennz
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17.
Starfish, starfish, everywhere
I'm not even done my training and taking calls yet, and there are weirdos everywhere.
Okay, smack me for sounding surprised, but in reality I'm not very.
I was catching the bus home today, and the bus I caught got to the first stop after I got on and broke down. No big deal; one comes by every 15 minutes at that time of day. It's one of the city's electric buses, overhead lines, pickup rods, and when they asked us to take the next bus they were muttering something about the electrical system in the bus itself; hey, it happens. I'm not worried.
So we get onto the next bus, only the bus driver on that bus was waving his hands frantically saying, "You can't get on this bus! Until they take down the rods, I can't get by." Um ... and you expect this to be the way things are FOREVER? Not likely.
That was only topped by this little old lady who boarded the bus before me and demanded in a surly tone ...
(Yes, you all know what's coming ... avert your eyes now)
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT BUS?"
I just shook my head and gave her a really strange look behind her. The bus driver and I shared a glance over that, and he smiled knowingly. I wasn't about to tell him that he wasn't far behind her in needing a serious LART.
[By: teivrann / 2003-12-02]
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<offers a double sided katana 'lart'> -burrkiss
Yaay, gotta love people who cannot pay attention.. or even comprehend what's going on.
-Warrick
Um...nothhing Ma'am, but could you grab that sparking rod for me? *ZAP* Ah, more oxygen for those using it! -Bobsentme
Teivrann -- you're in Van? -chazz
<offers a double sided katana 'lart'> -burrkiss
Where do you get one of those? Mine is only single edged. -PsychoKittyB
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18.
By popular demand
For all you techs sufferring from MCB withdrawl - here is a little tale from the archives - The day MCB asked me to make a copy of the MS Access software on my PC - for her own personal use because she didn't want to pay for software that was shit. When asked why she wanted it anyway she didn't know - just that she 'needed it' and it was 'very important'. Asking again what she needed a pirated copy of company software for she was a bit taken aback - 'Company software?' she said 'It's not company software - if it's on your computer it's yours not the company's' she said in a 'you must be too stupid to understand this' tone of voice.
After I had let her know that copying company software for your own use was against company policy (and shown her the document that said so) she went off in a fit of dispair (and near tears). Later I found she'd gone down to the server room to demand the disks that 'Her' software was on but they wouldn't unlock the door to let her in........ [By: CommanderData / 2003-12-02]
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Thanks CD, I needed that. Do you think this could be a regular feature on TSC? i.e. "Tales from the crypt" -RedSwingline
I knew that was the reason that the software was so crappy if it was 'her' software :P -rockytech
I think we should put together a CD containing all of the MCB stories you've posted, complete with resulting comments, and mail it to her. I'll even pony up the CDRW and overseas postage. <g> -RiffRaff
Oh RiffRaff... You assume she has the brain power to use such an item. Bad RiffRaff! <DAD Voice> This earns you a time out mister! </DAD Voice> -TechOgre
Nice idea RIff! If I had her forwarding address, which I don't. Apparently she was talking in the pub last night about going back to her home country where they treat people nicer - New Zealand.... -CommanderData
Forget about a Miss Crybaby web site - This is a BOOK, with movie rights sold to Hollywood!! :) -tekazoid
Oh, New Zealand. Yeah, the people are much nicer to dumb animals there. <Ducks LART from K1W1> -RiffRaff
I have often wondered what such a pathetic example of human advancement looks like. The book/website/comic strip? should have a nice characature drawing. What actress could play MCB in a movie? -ladysethos
Chris Barrie (Rimmer from Red Dwarf) in drag. She looked like a man in drag anyway.... -CommanderData
Roseanne Barr would be my choice. She is the most annoying actress I know. -TheSingingTech
Can you say Office Space II, The Attack of the Cry Baby's!!!!! -BunnieTechBabe
Hey CB - now that it is all over, do you have a picture of this bag of genetic effluent a.k.a. MCB for us all here to laugh at, and/or at least a first name...my guess is something o the lines or Raelene if se is from NZ. Does she have the antipodean habit of the pitch of the voice rising at the end of each spoken sentence? (See Neighbours, Home & Away etc. for details) -lineswine
Yeaaaaaaaah, Im going to have to ask you to.......fill the paper tray in the printer.........and could you take care of the roach problem too? Thad be greaaaaaaaat <end Office Space II> -burrkiss
This would be an awesome characture in Dilbert... -Zentar
Hey, go easy on us Antipodeans! Us Aussies view Kiwis much like Americans view Canadians. Still, I almost feel ashamed that MCB is a Kiwi, being that they are just across the pond from me and half of them live here anyway! -robbor
Right... someone needs to stop her before she gets to K1W1 territory..
-Warrick
Yes Warrick, let's stop her before she gets to NZ. Let's see, the most direct route on this map shows flying across Central America. Not Central United States, that's Central America, like Mexico and Panama and Margaritaville. Now she can't go any other way, because she will fall off the edge. See, no way North or East. Right. So we contact Rufio, my Columbian hit man, and ......... -CyBear
Aaaargh, she can't be from here. Mind you we do export a lot of beef from here to UK so maybe she is an old cow? Get me a picture and I'll notify customs and quarantine, shes' probably got BSE by now. -K1W1
Ooh here's a thought, maybe she's an Orc who thinks it is safe to return to Middle Earth now Gandalf's left. -K1W1
I wonder what career she'll have in NZ? The only one I can think of involves a mandatory full-body hair cut several times every year. Think of species bovidae and shearing. -Wraith556
Aww man... despite how lacking in the brain dept. MCB is , I seriously doubt she is a sheep.... Cow however isn't too far out of the picture.
-Warrick
New web site: ChroniclesofCB.nanc.com... -Disallowed
Shes from NZ?!?!? CD, on behalf of my entire country, I am SO SORRY. -Otaraboy
Congratulations, glad you lost the headache -McSmiley
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19.
ultrasound
Guys, just wanted to say that today my fiance and I are going in to look at our baby for the first time. I'm really excited after waiting 5 months (?) we finally get to see him/her! Just, wanted to tell the family of the good news...=-)[By: Techromancer / 2003-12-02]
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Congrats! :~} -RiffRaff
Congrats!!!!!! Another techie on the way. -MightyMouse
Excellent! Parenthood is one of the best experiences you can have. Enjoy it! -TechOgre
11-26-3 was the ultrasound we just had. FYI when they play the babies heartbeat, it sounds like the alien spaceship from Star Trek 4. wahwahwwahwhawh -burrkiss
congratulations -Bunglehawk069
Nice one- enjoy the moments as they come, because kids grow up ever so quickly. Maybe I should register my son on here....lineswine Jr? -lineswine
i forgot the congrats....Congratulations on the new addition to the family. -burrkiss
congrats, I know just how you feel. My wife and I are going in on friday for the ultra sound. -drachen
Congrats. Got a 3 year old myself, and now a 2 week old nephew. Kids are a blessing and a curse. :) More a blessing, but there are times you want to curse them. :) -SwedishChef
I showed my son's Ultra Sound pictures to EVERYONE when he was born. It was pretty appearent he was a boy, and I was so damn proud!</proud pappa> Congrats on the Pre-PFY! -Bobsentme
Time to get those computers off the ground. I suggest lockable cabinets! Congrats, and hope that's not just his umbilical your seeing ;)! -GargoyleTS
Congratulations old boy :)
-Warrick
Update: It's a boy! =-) *dances* ...a very proud boy to boot -Techromancer
Congrats Techromancer! -CiscoJones
congrats - i was so excited when i saw my babies (four girls and my bonus surprise boy!) enjoy - its(parenting) the best thing you'll ever do:) -timelady
Congrats to both of you. I know that when I was born the Doc came out, shook my dads hand and said "Congratulations, it's a baby!" -atomicbill
Congratulations, TR. Mine are 17 and 19, :S rnjoy their young years, 'cause they fly by quickly. -itsnotmyrouter
buying a new computer? -postal tech
Congrats to you and the missus! Mine are, umm, uhh, older now and I really miss their younger years. (We forget the bad things like peanut butter sandwiches in the VCR, honey in the carpet). Great luck to you! -ecoli
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20.
Worst spam I've ever seen
EU called up to complain about some spam. I checked it out and I couldn't believe what I was looking at. The e-mail claimed that they had already shipped a CD of child porn to his home and that his credit card would be billed. This thing was awfully graphic and convincing. It scared the bejeezus out of the poor guy. I went ahead and forwarded it to our abuse dept. Chances are that nothing was shipped or billed and it was just a ploy to get him to reply, confirming his e-mail address. But I've never seen anything going to those lengths before. Scary stuff.[By: letsgoflyers81 / 2003-12-02]
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Yeah, I've had emails telling me that, because I'd already subscribed to the site, they were sending me the new URL. I just stripped the email header and reported it on the ASCAP site. -lilguy43uk
ASCAP site? -CommanderData
All Spam Cantbe All Porn -burrkiss
It's part of the Minmail-L variant. If it can't properly propegate from an infected machine, it sends that message to the machine that it infected, trying to spook the user. Nothing has been billed or sent. This link contains information. Halfway down is the part about the porn e-mail.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/56/34299.html -SwedishChef
I've found a variant that takes you to a website where they ask for the credit card number as a "validator" in order to remove your order from their system. -Vulture
Thanks guys. I called the EU back to confirm with him it was just a run of the mill spam. He had called his CC company and was ready to change his CC number. Yeah, I was a good little tech that followed up... -letsgoflyers81
Just read a article that this spam is also aa attack on an anti-spam site. It has links to Spam Haus, and the intent is to inundate that anti-spam company with complaints. -CyBear
Many of the mimail variants are designed to do a DDOS attack on the spamfighting sites. This one, mimail.l, targets spamhaus, spews (of departed memory), and Spamcop among others. Info on the Symatec pages -- look at http://www.sarc.com for W32.Mimail.L -chazz
It looks like a un-holy alliance has formed between spammers and virus writers. I'd class this in the same league as drug-dealers and terrorists. -Wraith556
Dude he got the new fundraising email from the us rupblician party. -postal tech
PT - Republican party? Thought that was the Clinton campaign fund? -redevil34
Oops, dyslexic fingers. That should have said ASACP (Adult Sites Against Child Porn)It was the first to come up on Google and I have reported several CP sites that dropped into my mailbox and it seems to work. The sites go. The emailers They said that they had my credit card number. Yeah, right. I've never had a credit card -lilguy43uk
Just to beat a dead horse: http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=03/12/03/1423258 -miharu
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