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Tech Stories Archives - June 2004
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1.
You mean you want me to WHAT?!?
Customer's SysAdmin calls in, and complains that our software isn't printing correctly to their new network printer.
Naturally, I ask him to call up some version info from our software, and he says "I'm not in front of the terminal right now, can't you just guess?"
My immediate knee-jerk reaction is to say "Can't you just GUESS what your bank balance is?" but alas, 'twas not to be. I ended up having to explain why he had to be at the terminal to obtain the information, as well as apply ANY changes I might suggest.
My job would be great, if there were no customers. ;)[By: miketheman / 2004-06-01]
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Y'know, once I would be surprised of that from a 'sysadmin'... -namor
Sysadmin = The real admin once asked me to reboot a server. Server = The computer under my desk. -scooby111
"I _guess_ the problem is the Sysadmin has an IQ that makes rocks look smart." -maciarc
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2.
Tales from the north
A good friend of mine works in a local independant computer shop (a very very good one up in the North of england) and had a classic customer come in the other day - I will post the story here for you as he sent it to me
She was irate, beyond irate - she looked at me as though I had just shot her in the foot and then pissed in the open wound. This lady wanted compensation for her computer. Does the computer work? Oh yes. Not seeing what the problem was with the PC I told her that I would have to know the reason before I accepted a return. She didn't want to return the computer, she just wanted compensation for whatever it was that was pissing her off so much.
Being that I had started my day with a nice big bowl of dumbass flakes I decided to try and get the full story off this woman who looked and acted like someone thrown off the cast of Eastenders for being too ugly and too thick. She wanted compensation because her daughter had failed her exams due to having a 'computer addiction'.
I asked her where the PC was kept. 'In my daughter's room of course!', ahhh said I, we can only process claims of compensation if the computer is kept in a communual area.
Customer accepted this, and left. [By: CommanderData / 2004-06-01]
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HOLY - FUCKING - SHIT. This woman IS a dumbass flake! Evidently it's been passed onto her daughter... - teivrann
Judas Priest, what's wrong with these people.. -Warrick
Sounds like the daughter has bigger problems than an internet addiction...her mother, for one! -snowcrash
lucky you are across the pond CD...that would probably qualify as a legit lawsuit here in the states. -leonine
I'm still trying to picture someone trying to piss in a foot wound. Male or Female? -scooby111
"someone thrown off the cast of Eastenders for being too ugly and too thick" - BWAHAAHAAHAAAAAA!!!!! -hkypipe
being thrown of the cast of easties for being to dumb or thick.... IS THAT POSSIBLE????? -BoxOfFrogs
I'm tired of idiot parents who won't take responsibility for the "non-rearing" of their kids. It's your fucking job lady to raise your kid, not the PC tech. Get the hell out of my shop now! -mccallister
I think these are the same people who sue McDonalds for "making them fat." Yeah . . . heads up, skinny people - Ronald McDonald is going to FIND YOU and force-feed you. -valkyrja
Jesus H... The translation is that they are too stupid/lazy to take care of their kid and wants the computer to babysit and once she finds that it was a very bad idea its the computers fault. -rockytech
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3.
Weird username
On the phone currently with a user with a username of 'laycock.'[By: kman52000 / 2004-06-01]
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we had someone with an email "wellhung"
-Bunglehawk069
Believe it or not, it's a fairly common surname in the UK (!) -Gromit
One of our customers has a userid of 'madcock'. -pixel
gromit beat me to it. -BoxOfFrogs
I had one call in whos email wasn't working the log in that was having trouble was "lickmyballs" I had fun with this caller, I kept making him spell it put. LOL -THETECHFROMHELL
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4.
Tech support Filk
Some tech related songs from a Filk site. http://www.prometheus-music.com/audio/techsupt.mp3 Also try this one for you LISP programmers. http://www.prometheus-music.com/audio/eternalflame.mp3[By: Year9595 / 2004-06-01]
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LMAO at techsupport... hilarious!!! -srteach
That was too funny!!!
I want K1W1 to record the mouse song!!!! -THETECHFROMHELL
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5.
Weekly roundup...
Interesting stories this week:
Some geeks have rebuilt the Colossus code breaker:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/3754887.stm
when I saw the headline I was thinking either Forbin Project or Rhodes)
Richard Biggs died:
http://www.b5tv.com/greatmaker/articles/288/
Bubba Ho-tep released to DVD: http://www.bubbahotep.com (looks like it will be available at Wal-Mart soon) [By: LaserGuru / 2004-06-01]
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I'm just stunned over the death of Rick Biggs. -sassicatz
He was a good actor. Three years younger than me- he just got out of bed and died. -LaserGuru
43..... Good health, just farking died. Holy fark! -scooby111
I know, I just about cried (it's a pregnancy thing) because he was my third favorite actor on that show. -Dragones
Yee Har - Colossus rebuilt! Maybe I'll hear no more of this "ENIAC was the 1st computer used in WWII crap anymore!"
Tom Flowers lived in the next town to me. http://www.hodgy.net/computer_history/page_1/page_1b.htm for more info -lineswine
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6.
this had to be the worst....
Leo: what operating system are you running?
SF: what running system are we running?
Leo: no what OPERATING system
SF: roadrunner?
Leo: NO
SF: AOL?
Leo: NO! what version of windows?
SF: Microsoft?
Leo: but what version of microsoft?
SF: windows?
Leo: yes, and the version
SF: 9.0?
< 5 minuites later >
Leo: let's just reboot and read what comes up on the screen then.....[By: leonine / 2004-06-01]
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start->run->"winver" -CarbonTetra
START -> RUN -> winver
Saves a LOT of time. -ShutUpAndHangUp
I think we posted that at the exact same time! hehehe -ShutUpAndHangUp
Only if the starfish can find the Start button, click on it, find Run, click on it, correctly spell "winver", and locate the enter key or click OK. -thx1138
yea...trust me, rebooting was a lot safer with this starfish. We would have spent another 5 minuites looking for the start button most likely. Anyway we don't have the same guidelines as the CSR's. They don't even know what our times "should" be so we are pretty much given a blank check with our talk times. I can take the opprotunity to frustrate and further confuse the fishies if I like, lol. This call may have been painfull for me, but it was TONS more painfull for the SF. -leonine
Windows & Pause/Break? -satanstech
Yeah, thanks sparky. Just throw out randon numbers and words and hope that I'll latch on to something that makes some sort of sense. Never mind if it's right. I'm only asking to fill up the time. It's not like it's important or anything. -scooby111
rt click "my computer" click properties, or get them to system. Lotsa times just having them read me their "start" list will give me a clue. It's always a guessing game. -MamaTech
SF: Write 'click' on my computer? Hold on whilst I get a magic marker... -flapjackboy
"What colour is the start button?" followed by "Press CTRL, ALT, DEL and does it now say on screen?" -Waylander
thanks satanstech, didn't know that shortcut before -Wiser
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7.
Priviledge Rant
I go through all the trouble to get a DSL router switched out by one of our techs, and while on site, I ask him to bring in his laptop to test it... to do so, as the LAN side will have some hard-coded public IPs, I need to have him change his laptop's IP info. Normally no problem. Their laptops are *there* for testing. However, enter W2K security lockdown. Can't even touch the LAN connection properties. Freaking moronic security policies... now I have to get his supervisor out there to see if *he* can make sense of it... grrr... all to prove that a CPE PIX setup is messed. <sigh> Okay, I'm done.[By: namor / 2004-06-01]
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Locking down interface settings on a laptop? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of even having a laptop? NExt they'll glue the things to the desk. -scooby111
Nah, scoob, that's professors that glue them to desks. -Tekkie
tekkie - not true, my aunt used 2pt epoxy when she got her new thinkpad. her grandson had knocked the old presario down onto tile. -omegawolf
I was alluding to a Digital Dogcow story: http://tinyurl.com/2qhw5 #76. -Tekkie
As was I. -scooby111
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8.
Arrrrghhhhhh!!
Ok, have any of you suddenly had 'When Johnny Comes marching home?' or a similarly patriotic song pop into your head in the middle of a shift? Especially when it's right after you heard one of your colleagues whistling the Battle Hymn of the Republic? GGAAAAGHH!!!!!! (PS, yes I'm going insane today)[By: Warrick / 2004-06-01]
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Personally, I play a whole collection of songs of the Civil War, just to get me in the mindframe to pick up the phone. -miketheman
no but for some odd reason i now have chorus for the eagles - johnny come lately, LOOPED!!! over and over and over and over and thanx ALOT!!! -omegawolf
The Bugle Charge from the Charge of the Light Brigade - reminds me that I'm in a hopeless situation.
http://www.nps.gov/edis/documentary.htm
Also: "Hey Mr. Custer! What Am I Doing Here?" -satanstech
Only after watching Die Hard 16. -LaserGuru
"Here comes johnny with his Pecker in his hand, he's a one armed man, I'm off to the rodeo..." -Bobsentme
<sigh> ... unrelated, but I've got Talking in Your Sleep looping over and over in my head... no reason. And I just realized that's what it was. Damn. -namor
I made the mistake of listening to The Minibosses right before my game last week....had MegaMan 2 music floating around in my head for the rest of the night. Made it VERY hard to focus. -leonine
LOL@ miketheman -RTFM
No, but I do now... -scooby111
BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOMBADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER does that help? <ducks incoming african snake larts> -neuman1812
http://www.hamsterdance.com Cure or Kill. -Foyle
Not work safe! Same tune, different rodent: http://www.commkey.net/ns/ -Tekkie
It could be worse. I managed to drive my friends completely insane by singing the chorus to "Blame it on the Rain" one day. They were still singing it the next day. -csatguru
http://www.discosquirrels.com/ -teivrann
<sings> , get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get, get, get, on your nerves </sings> -lineswine
<sings>This is the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friend...</sings> -ThirdOfFive
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9.
new apartment and stolen parts
so, i moved into my new apt over the wkend and goto get 2 of my sys out of storage. my server's been gutted and has 2 functioning dvd drives [wtf?] but NOTHING else. while my secondary sys is missing the hdd, 1024mb and the dvd r/w!!! i had this stored in my 'friends' warehouse for the last 6-8 months. the problem w/ tracking down the culprit is that he's 1 of 5 people w/ the key. the warehouse is a storage facility for a parts store, but i don't know who took what. - on the flip side the new apt is great, $550 10 min from the beach and rt in downtown hollywood fla. housewarming party on sunday.
[By: omegawolf / 2004-06-01]
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That's really shitty omegawolf! (You're sure it wasn't the mouse that did it?) -BritishBunny
TacLART on standby, wolf. -flapjackboy
WTF??!? You left your computer equipment in a warehouse?!? Brave man. -scooby111
Methinks you need to find some new friends. Have you ever thought about Omaha? Luck on finding the right friend who "borrowed" the stuff. Give'em one from me. -Rabbitt
My honey brought his brand new digital camera to work. He'd just spent $300 on it (after my manager-friend gave me his discount) on a very nice camera. Within a day, it was stolen. I'm just glad he removed the memory card that still had some, eh, private, pictures on it, *before* he brought it to work. -csatguru
sucks about the stolen parts. I left some parts at my sisters house during a move once and when I went to retrieve them she had them sitting on her front porch. I was pissed. Probably $1,000.00 worth of stuff ruined. And about th house warming, if theres beer, I'm there. -Dcadiman
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10.
I did it just like you said.
Got the starfish to the command prompt. ME: We need to see if you can get out. At the prompt type ping<space>www.blah.com<enter> and what happened. SF: Nothing. ME: Nothing? Did the cursor move to the next line? SF: Nope. It is sitting right there after the R. ME: What R. SF: In the word Enter.[By: LordObsidian / 2004-06-01]
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and I'll bet you thought you were being clear in your instructions... -srteach
Yep, srteach. Silly me. -LordObsidian
I have a number of stock phrases: 'on the printer control panel', 'press the x key', 'what does the printer display show', 'what is the current problem', 'that parts catalog is on our website', etc. -LaserGuru
LO, that's nothing. Wait until you get the guy who will type E-N-T-E-R *each and every time*, forcing you to say "and then hit the enter key" each time and hold your breath, hoping he doesn't type A-N-D-T-H-E-N-H-I-T-T-H-E-E-N-T-E-R-K-E-Y. -QuinTech
*blink* <shakes head> Nobody's that stupid. Nobody. I don't want to know... <puts fingers in ears> Llalalalalalalall lala lalla.. <walks away> -scooby111
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11.
My Mom, The Ex-Starfish
I stepped out for a bit on Sunday, and I left my cell phone at home. When I get back, I see I missed a call from home. NOTE: I recently built a system for her, so I'm guessing this is trouble.
So I give her a ring, and it turns out that her video went all "screwy" on her, and she picked up the phone to dial me BUT:
- Decided to attempt to correct the problem on her own
- Looked in "Display Properties" to see what it said
- Rebooted the computer, thereby correcting the problem
I'm so proud. BTW, if that had failed, my 12-year-old niece was there, so I was covered...[By: hkypipe / 2004-06-01]
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Sounds like my cousin. She MSN'd me about a Wi-Fi problem, but when I asked her what she had done, she had gone through all the troubleshooting I was going to recommend and already had plausible diagnosis. And suddenly the problem was solved! I'm so glad that there's another woman in my family who can help herself! :D -Zentar
Zentar - you of all people should know that tech ability is no respecter of gender, race, creed sexual orientation etc. - all that matters is a logical mind. </soapbox> -lineswine
nononono - technical diagnostic ability is directly linked to the ability to think ILLOGICALLY in the correct fashion. There's NO way you can t/s M$ by thinking LOGICALLY - it just won't work! -Grue
i don't think she was making a generalization about all women, lineswine, she was talking about her family. -csatguru
csatguru - read your whiteboard. -lineswine
lineswine: I was actually referring to my family, not my gender. Trust me, I'm the same old feminist I always was! LOL It's just my cousin is a few years younger and in college and all her roomates were so quick to give up and call Sympatico, but she was smart enough to try to fix it herself -- oh, and btw, she got it working. I'm just so PROUD of her!! -Zentar
lineswine: I was actually referring to my family, not my gender. Trust me, I'm the same old feminist I always was! LOL It's just my cousin is a few years younger and in college and all her roomates were so quick to give up and call Sympatico, but she was smart enough to try to fix it herself -- oh, and btw, she got it working. I'm just so PROUD of her!! -Zentar
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12.
Include Me Out
Last Thursday I started getting trouble tickets because people couldn't reach a third-party that takes electronic payments for us. I checked it out. True, when I dialed the speed dial to reach them, it disconnected. When I tried the same number on my cell phone, it disconnected. So the problem is not our switch, it's on the other end. I let one of the managers from the complaining department know.This morning she starts neeping at me in e-mail, wanting me to fix it (nnnnnooooowwwwww). So I told her I didn't know who to contact, or even who might know who to contact (since I was never included in setting this up, and only set up a speed dial to a number I was given).Then she finally rememberd that, oh, yeah, she has their tech support number; so she put in a trouble ticket. Meanwhile, the Admin Services boss (possibly the biggest baby in the company) neeps at me to fix it because the operator is complaining that she can't transfer people to this number, even though I explained to the operator on Thursday that there's nothing I can do.How do these people survive in the world? Oh, wait, because some of us tell them every move to make. We should just forget to tell them to breathe and let them die off![By: sassicatz / 2004-06-01]
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Many of these people have notes taped to their dressers at home: "Put you socks on your feet. Do not put them on your hands. Do not put them on your ears. Do not put them on your cat. Put them on your feet, and only on your feet. Did you do that? Good, now let's try your shows..." -QuinTech
I mean SHOES. Dammit, maybe Quintech should have a note on his keyboard: Put your finger on the 'e'. Not the 'w', the 'e'." -QuinTech
Yeah, I get calls all the time of people telling me that so-and-so can't send us email. I'm sorry, I can't fix so-and-so's server for him. -scooby111
"The Marching Morons" by CM Kornbluth - the Non-Morons tried leaving the Morons alone, but the piles of Dead got to stinking too bad - even at the North Pole -satanstech
yeah, our spam server blocks IPs of known servers who do not stop spammers using their service. THEN we get calls, gripe-gripe, cause Meemaw can't get emails from little Johnny. What you want us to un-block the spam? NO just Johnny's mail. Yeah, right, Johnny's probably the spammer. -MamaTech
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13.
RSVP
Okay, folks! The TSC BBQ (Indianapolis) is only a month away. What Magenta and I need at this point is a fairly accurate idea of how many people to expect, so this is the official "RSVP" post. Here is what we need:
If you're not planning on coming, please do not comment to this post, as it will only confuse me more than I already am. If you have any intention of coming to the BBQ whatsoever, even if you're not sure you can make it yet, please comment here with the following information:
Total number of people attending with you
What time you think you'll be arriving in Indianapolis on Saturday
If you will be staying in Indy until Sunday night to attend the fireworks display downtown with us
If you will be needing a place to stay overnight
Any special requirements (food allergies, pet allergies, Macintosh allergies, etc.)
Any other miscellaneous information you think we need to know about
Detailed information about what to bring with you can be found here: http://www.techcomedy.com/bbq.php (thanks, Hawk!), or you can e-mail/whiteboard me with questions. At this point it looks like we will have a two-way webcam link with DarthLuke's BBQ in the Pacific Northwest, and there will of course be ample opportunity for pictures, so if you have a TSC shirt, GFY mug, or even a red Swingline stapler, you should bring it with you for picture taking. We will probably have a volleyball net set up in our backyard, so a change of clothes might also be advisable. We will also have some board games, as well as the ultimate requirement of a LAN for network gaming, although we do intend on spending most of the time outdoors, weather permitting. We're also planning on giving away a few door prizes (nothing fancy or expensive; just fun stuff, along with a few gag gifts).
If anyone has any ideas or suggestions of other things they would like to do while in Indy, please let me know. Again, this will be the "official" guest list that Magenta and I will be using to plan the amount of food we need, so even if you've already said you're coming, please post it again here.
Thanks, and we hope to see as many of you as possible July 3rd!
-Riff & Magenta
[By: RiffRaff / 2004-06-01]
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My wife and I are lanning on attending. We are thinking about coming up 7/2 so that we can spend most of the day before returning home the evening of 7/3. (family plans on the 4th preclude us from staying up in Indy on the 4th) Looking forward to a fun time! :) -rokitt
Planning....We are planning on attending...but there might BE some LANning!:p -rokitt
95% chance we are coming and will need a place to crash. air beds allowed (we would need a power point close to pump it up? -madonnac
My husband, John, and I are coming. - figglywig (Gail) -figglywig
burrkiss & wifey.....Noonish.....probably not.....Macs suck..... -burrkiss
I wish I could be there, but will be pre-occupied... kids, and double-time work pay -HappyCrappy
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14.
See you in the Priory
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3765821.stm
[By: RTFM / 2004-06-01]
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I got 8 out ten!! -RTFM
I got 6 -CommanderData
I got 5, but what do I know about cell phones in the UK? -Tekkie
6. I guessed a lot. -namor
I suck I only got 3 -drachen
I got 7, but I sell phones (in Louisiana) for a living -Answerboy
2- #8 (read the news article) and #9 (it hadd be true) -LaserGuru
I got 7, a few were guesses and a few of them I'd read stories about. -Starfury
I got 6. I should have gone with my first reaction on two, though. No, I'm not a cell addict. I'm in charge of all the cell phones for my company (in California). -sassicatz
I got a 5, but I remember the comment on toothing about a month ago, so that helped.
-jard
1 .... 2 .... kicked out at 2
GO TAMPA GO -Dangermouse
I also got 5. Haven't owned a mobile phone since 1999. -snowcrash
CiscoJones pulls in a 7!!! -CiscoJones
8 - a few guesses and memories of articles I read helped -CSurfer
4. For me a mobile is tool, not entertainment... -chazz
Amen, Chazz -srteach
0-3: Hello, is anyone there?...... Better than the -5 I was expecting to get. -Rabbitt
heh...7,scary:) but i dont text much - i just guessed/remembered articles, i read bbc news a fair bit;) -timelady
6, some (OK, most) were guesses, some were knowledge. I'm actually pretty new to mobiles, I've only had one for about 3 weeks now. -Splunge
hmmm, did that comment just go to a vodafone email account? -Splunge
5 i mostly guessed... -Waylander
6, guessing a lot. -MamaTech
6 for me too. Some I knew, some I guessed. -teivrann
Wow, I got 9, and I'm not even in the same hemisphere. Must be pure dumb luck. -LadySharky
Uh-oh... I got 9 right. But on the other hand, I worked at the mobile [entertainment] industry before. And I *am* addicted to SMSes! -NordicPT
2--I stoped reading the questions after 5...the 2 I got right were after question 5. -Slatavus
9 - I got the ring tone question wrong... (My mobile is a Nokia 5110!) -Wonko The Sane
I don't even OWN a Cell Phone. Don't want a call disrupting my Star Wars Galaxies Session. -YellowDart
7, and I guessed all of them. Why such luck never happened for my course exams? -jhuang
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15.
No Oxygen Up There?
Do once-technical people lose all their brain cells as they move up the ladder? Do they get brain damage from lack of oxygen? The IT DIRECTOR of one of our companies had an XP virtual machine on his system that had no anti-virus installed and no Windows updates (not even SP1)! Then he is surprised when I turn up to clean the damn Blaster off it!!!
(Note to Self – never volunteer! Couple of weeks ago I had voluntarily helped out another department with worm infestation but now the network group seems to think I have dominion over all things wormy! This IT Director is not my responsibility but they sent me the message “Omaha host name12345 is generating large amounts of "worm-ish" traffic -- please disinfect.” Well, ok - I do get paid by the Corporate IT department and I am brainwashed with the “we’re all one company” BS, and the techs for this operating company obviously don’t know what to do about “worm-ish traffic”, but still . . . I do have my own people to support!)[By: BritishBunny / 2004-06-01]
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What makes you think the IT director was ever a good tech? in my experience, IT managers and especially directors are hired for their 'management abilities' and not at all for their 'tech ability'. -scooby111
Those who cannot tech (and therefore cannot teach), become managers...heh. -hkypipe
Had a guy start out in Tier 1 here... then got the manager position, now he's moving on up to another manager position... he's got an inkling, still of those things internet, but seems to have lost his grasp on simpler issues. -namor
Just connect it to that router over there with the bird-ish traffic and everything will be fine. -maciarc
Yes - When a Tech is disfigured to Management, they perform a kind of Egyptian Mummification Ritual. The Brain is extracted thru the Ears, and discarded. This leaves the Skull totally empty, so everything you tell them "goes in one ear & out the other" this does, unfortunately, leave the month intact, but with no control, so it just babbles away. -satanstech
Be vewwwy, vewwwy careful, Bunny. Having responsibility for dealing with Worm Issues thrust upon you can easily turn into being the designated scapegoat if one of them gets out of hand. Sounds like you need to do a little CYA and document your 'generous cross-divisional support' and at the same time suggest that an Incident Response Team be given the responsibilty (and the training [$$$]) for this. With luck, you might leverage this into a Computer Security post. And we know what kind of money *they* make! -Foyle
I think, after promotion to management, they get brain cored out... removal of common sense, empathy, sympathy, etc... -HappyCrappy
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17.
Impressive Signature
I had a sales rep escalate an issue with a shipment of notebooks that a customer received a couple of weeks ago. The sales rep forwarded the email from her customer on to me.
Easy fix, I just needed him to enable a couple of services and he would be working fine. I go to give him a call, and I see his signature at the bottom of the email. It is in this format:
FName LName CCNA, MCSE 2000, CCA, Server+, Network+, A+
Business Name
So I call him back and give him the info – and guess what he asked?!
“How do I manually start a service in Windows XP?” When I replied that it is under Admin tools – services he exclaims “I don’t have admin tools” and I then had to walk him through going to the control panel to find it.
I know we all have known a paper MCSE, but this shocked me big time. I wonder if he is lying. [By: jard / 2004-06-01]
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Bet he'd been "starting the service" by rebooting. Continually. -smellystudent
Net stop and Net start? -Bobsentme
What an impressive idiot! He ought to add a sig too "Sodomy Non Sapiens" (Buggered if I know /Pratchett) -BritishBunny
Hell, I can type CCNA and CCIE on the end of my name too. That doesn't mean I know squat about routers. -scooby111
I think I'm going to put "President of the World" on my next business card. -mccallister
I can't eat any thing. I have big soars all over my throught, two more biig ones right on the crest of my tongue. my tongue hurts on contact with anything and swallowing has been excrutiating. I can drink water. Oh and eat jello. I have been able to force myself to eat a hod dog these past two days. The weiner's consistancy seems to be just right to glide over my tongue without much pain. No bad jokes please. I am a guy and I know what was said:( -0110110
oops wrong post. -0110110
I've had a few really stupid Written Idiocies from supposed Cert Holders - always wondered if it would do any good to copy them to the Cert Authority. -satanstech
I'd call the salesdroids' bluff & ask him to show me his certs. If he comes up with the goods, fine...if he can't tell him exactly what a lying, lowlife scumbag he really is. I'm surprised you helped him - if he is as tech competent as he claims he can do it himself! -lineswine
I think that this is actually not the salesdroid's incompetence, but the customer's admin's. I don't know if this makes it better or worse though. -DavidHM
I think that this is actually not the salesdroid's incompetence, but the customer's admin's. I don't know if this makes it better or worse though. -DavidHM
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18.
sick (off-topic)
I'm sick today. have been since last wednesday. Had to use all of my sick leave Thursday and Friday. I also have to work extra hours all week to boot because when I was out Friday, I became unqualified for holiday pay Monday. Haven't eaten in four days. Getting weak. must stop ranting. </end rant>[By: 0110110 / 2004-06-01]
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Awwww. *hug* -snowcrash
*hands 0110110 a sandwich* Eat up. -PaseoGuy
That's why I always pack a few extra pounds around my middle. I'm better equiped for a prolonged fast that way. ;) -scooby111
Um, a few extra pounds consisting of beer and Doritos isn't gonna last you all that long, Scoob. <g> -RiffRaff
now he tells me... -flapjackboy
You need some chicken soup sweetie -BritishBunny
I can't eat any thing. I have big soars all over my throught, two more biig ones right on the crest of my tongue. my tongue hurts on contact with anything and swallowing has been excrutiating. I can drink water. Oh and eat jello. I have been able to force myself to eat a hod dog these past two days. The weiner's consistancy seems to be just right to glide over my tongue without much pain. No bad jokes please. I am a guy and I know what was said:( -0110110
*hugs* When I'm nauseous and can't keep anything down, I can always eat hot dogs. I don't know why either... Try a Fudgsicle. Seriously. It's health food, the cold will soothe your throat [like ice cream], and it's chocolate. Popsicles will keep liquid in you. Hope you feel better soon. -Fireflower
crush up a multi-vitamin (or two) and put it in your water. the water will taste like shit but at least you'll get some nutrients in your starving body. echanecia (sp?) is a great immune system booster...tea with honey might help your throat. -csatguru
Go see a doctor if you can. Any number of scary things popped into my head given your descriptions. Until you can get to a Doc, if it's not too painful, try gargling/rinsing with salt water. Good luck!! -virtualchoirboy
I always had good luck with chocolate milk. (Wolfie singing the Stones "Brown Sugar") -Wolffarmer
I've always had good luck with diluted Gatorade (or other sports drink of choice). Mix it 50/50 with water. Or do the same thing with fruit juice. -pixel
Thank you all for the wonderfull suggestions! -0110110
If you go to a doctor, ask for promethazine. I think the brand name is Phenergan. It's not really abused, so you can ask for it by name. It really helps with the nausia. -Phssstpok
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19.
Whose problem?
Just had a prolonged issue with a luser who wanted an account on our extranet FTP site so he could chare files with his customer contact. Customer can't get to FTP server. Customer wants US to fix problem. Customer will not contact his OWN tech support folks because it's OUR server he's trying to reach. Finally, I get hold of customer's tech support who says, incredulously, "Ah, we block FTP at the firewall." Two weeks this took. Two friggin' weeks.[By: Foyle / 2004-06-01]
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Somebody gave me a suggestion I REALLY like. It will only work with small service providers, though. When a customer pressures you into working on a problem, and it turns out to be outside the normal scope of support, send them an invoice for a ridiculous service fee, and mark it "payment waived." Gets the point across real quick. -CyBear
Telnet www.someftpserver.com 21 : What's that? Connect failed? Call your IT department. <click> -scooby111
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20.
Personal Designations (part 1)
I read a story in the archives that reminded me of an experience I had when working tech support. I expect certain things to cause problems for starfish computer users: knowing exactly what operating system they have, remembering their username and passwords, knowing the difference between a computer tower and a hard-disk. But certain things come as a surprise, even though deep down inside, I know they shouldn't. Witness a call I once received from a co-workers perspective (let's call him Randy). Randy was sitting at his PC, quietly sipping on coffee and browsing the web when I got a call. When it works like it should, our systems auto populates the screen with all the customers' important information, like it did on this call, so of course Randy heard me go through the opening spiel like we normally do so many times a day.[By: dhaelis / 2004-06-01]
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