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Tech Stories Archives - October 2004

1. Customer Service Week 2004 (part 1)
Oj joy. This should be fun...

National Customer Service Week is always the first full week of October. This year, it's October 4 - 8, 2004. Started by the International Customer Service Association in 1988, it has become a national event as proclaimed by the U.S. Congress in 1992. According to the ICSA, the purpose of National Customer Service Week is "to create a positive message that lasts all year long and to provide a productive opportunity to generate an even stronger commitment to customer service excellence."
[By: Vermiis / 2004-10-01]
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  • Its too bad this isn't publicized more, because I think we definately deserve the respect. -Yuri
  • It might actually mean something if they made it a week-long paid holiday or earned double time for working it or something. -OhioTech
  • This doesn't sound to me like it's for the benefit of anyone PROVIDING customer service; it sounds like "eat even more shit from customers and management" week. Buzzwords get my cynicism gland going early. -Owie
  • Is anyone's company actually doing anything for it? Our management is planning games and team-building activities, along with prizes in some contests (gift certificates and the like). I don't see it being the type of fun we'll actually enjoy, especially since we'll be told to take time off the phones to join the fun, but the second a caller waits too long and complains, we'll all be reprimanded. -CelticSkyhawk
  • http://www.customerserviceweek.com/ -LaserGuru
  • LG, that link just made me sick...thanks. Anyone that "TREASURES their customers" without the use of a burried chest should be shot. -Bobsentme
  • I rescind my earlier comment. I didn't know you could get a paperclip dispenser. -Owie
  • I WANT THE SLINKY!!!!!! -Mathias
  • Jeez that is sickening LG! How dare this asshole suggest companies make their CSRs say things like "At (company name), we treasure our customers! How may I help you?". Someone needs a clue-by-four inserted sideways! -BritishBunny
  • as far as I know, my company is doing what they do all the time: Working us like dogs and yelling at us when we do our job, but don't hound other management-level employees for doing theirs. NEVER A DAY OF BOREDOM HERE AT ******Broad Band!! -CarbonTetra

  • 2. Customer Service Week 2004 (part 2)
    Monday - Pajama Day
    Techs can come in dressed up in their favorite PJ’s (appropriate attire only).The person with the most outrageous/impressive outfit will win a prize.TSG will provide bagels with cream cheese and butter all day, as well as juice and coffee.

    Tuesday - Sif-Fi Day
    Techs can come in dressed up as their favorite Sci-Fi character. Prizes for best costume will be handed out. Quake will be setup for techs to play on the computers in the portal. Treats will be given out during the day. September birthdays will be celebrated as well as Silver Star Awards will be handed out.

    Wednsday - Dessert Day/Sports Day

    All techs will be requested to bring in a dessert such as cakes, cookies, pies etc… TSG will provide the plates, utensils, coffee, tea and juices. TSG will also supply Ice Cream. Techs may come dressed in their favorite teams attire. Prizes will be given out.

    Thursday - Favorite Decades Day
    Techs will dress up in outfits from their favorite decade (60’s, 70’s, 80’s, etc…)Prizes will be given out for the best outfit for each decade. TSG will hand out fresh popcorn, chips and other bagged munchies.

    Friday - Crazy Hats and Shades Day
    Techs will dress in their favorite cool shades and hats. Prizes will be given out for the most creative outfit. Cotton Candy and Ice Cream will be supplied by TSG.
    [By: Vermiis / 2004-10-01]
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    Comments

  • Note - TSG = Technical Support Group. Not my company ;) -Vermiis
  • "Oh, and next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day... so, you know, if you want to you can go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans." - Lumbergh -teivrann
  • Is it just me, or are "most outrageous" and "appropriate attire only" mutually exclusive? -karlata
  • ....I don't think my coworkers would appreciate me strolling in on Wed wearing my smelly hockey gear, lol -leonine
  • And the minimum is 14 pieces of flair </Stan> -RedSwingline
  • So the leather PJs are out for monday? -TeamWolfguard
  • say your favorite decade is the one in progress, and dress normal. if you usually cant wear jeans, wear them. -rhiannon
  • Make your favorite decade the 90s. The 1590s. Dress like Shakespeare. -Jay911
  • If they don't pre-pend the actual century, say it's '90, and wear your sheets. -namor
  • what if you sleep in the buff? -neuman1812
  • LMAO, leo, I was already pondering coming in wearing full gear. But being a goalie, I don't think I want to sit behind a desk like that. Maybe I'll wear my helmet for 'crazy hats' day. -Vermiis
  • Hawaiian Shirt Friday didnt last very long here... -LaFiamma
  • LOL at Jay911 -- Aye, m'lord, an' which outfit would ye have me wearing? (As I am into Ren Faires, I have several outfits circa 1600 I could wear.) -Captain Trips

  • 3. Another stupid commercial...
    I didn't remember this until tonight, but I encountered this early this morning while coming home from a call. (Besides working at 911, I am a volunteer firefighter/medic for my local department.) Anyway, this was an ad for a temp agency (I don't know who they thought they'd have listening at 4:10am, but whatever)... specializing in "Microsoft Office Specialists in Excel". Isn't that being a little too specialized? How hard can you focus on Excel?
    [By: Jay911 / 2004-10-01]
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    Comments

  • I had a Microsoft Office course in college. The Excel portion was half a week. The course, like all courses at that college, lasted 4 weeks, with each class held for 4 hours a day - so the entire Excel portion was covered in 10 hours. As a contrast, Access lasted 80 hours (2 weeks). IIRC; it's been a couple years now. -OgdenTechGuy
  • Ha well, the announcer was sleepy at 4-10am and missed out the "lence" -Zoomer
  • They have Microsoft Office Specialist exams for Word Core, Word Expert, Excel Core, Excel Expert, PowerPoint, Outlook, Access, and Project. The core tests demonstrate proficiency with the software. The Expert tests demonstrate mastery of the software. -TrainingGod
  • "They have Microsoft Office Specialist exams for... PowerPoint" - <deity> help us all!! "Too stupid to put your bullet points on a slide by yourself? Hire one of our PowerPoint specialists!" -SalParadise
  • Ah, but, you see, the commercial is for AccountTemps so they want prospective employers for their "accountants" to think they're getting something extra. -sassicatz
  • woo hoo Voulenteer FD/ FA -wazntme
  • Back when I was teaching we had three excell class levels, "Beginners" "Intermediate" and "Advanced". Each class was supposed to last for eight hours, however, "Beginners" Usually flew by in three. Once you get into formulas, you can actually spend some time there, but you can only do so much algebra before your head explodes, and then I have to go get the mop bucket.... -Mathias
  • "Department of redundancy department, how can I help?" -flapjackboy
  • Some of our bean counters use Excel to the max! Way over my head with their formulas. They'd ace the Excel expert test. -BritishBunny
  • My ex took a required Microsoft Office course in college. We'd both been users of Microsoft products for years and when I heard, I basically rolled my eyes and nothing else. They taught her how to do things in Office that I didn't even know existed. I was impressed. Dunno when I'd ever use any of the material, but I was nonetheless impressed. -Mango
  • When I was looking for a job and was down and out, I took a job as a temp doing secretarial work... they were amazed that I aced the excel test, the word test, the access test, and typed 93 wpm... they were like "wow, you know a lot!" -EagleEye

  • 4. Ticket Update (OT)
    For anyone who read my previous post about getting a ticket for speeding, here's the update.

    One thing I neglected to mention in the other post is that my stepfather is a cop. Well, was, he just retired a few months ago. The cop saw my patch and my PBA card and STILL gave me a ticket.

    So I hear today that my stepfather tried to get it taken care of, but it turns out the cop that gave me the ticket is a fucktard and would give his own damned mother a ticket. He's going to try one more route, but he says I'm prolly stuck with it... So now I fight it and see what happens, thanks for all the suggestions btw. :)

    Oh, and just a sidenote. On my drive home today, CREEPING along at 50-55mph, I happened to pass my officer friends again. Same car, same spot, same cops. They had some guy in a van pulled over.
    [By: Vermiis / 2004-10-01]
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    Comments

  • have you read Kevin Mitnick's The Art of Deception? he mentions how to get out of a traffic ticket. -p3bk4c
  • I sympathize with you, on the other hand I don't think relatives of cops should get special treatment. And yes, I drove 80 on the way to work this morning. -thx1138
  • at least you did not get a ticket, a $500 ticket, for passing in the break down lane and wreckless driving... While your car is overheating and you are parked on the side of the road trying to feed it water... Thank god for the digital camera. We took pictures that showed the fact that there was gallons of water on the road and a hole in the radiator. Had a statement from the lady we got the water from and the recipt from the pep boys 1/10 of a mile up the road for the stop leak. I hate idiot cops that are trying to make quota. -TeamWolfguard
  • Here's one: you are required to give emergency vehicles the right of way, but you have to do it in a way that does not endanger others. If you had to speed up to allow him room, then any ticket is entrapment. -technaround
  • I just hope you don't get one of these judges: "Were you speeding?" "Yes, Your Honor. But--" "Guilty. Get out of my courtoom." -NightSteel
  • TeamWolfguard, Some Cops. A buddy of mine’s Firebird engine caught fire. He stopped in the middle of an intersection, and put the fire out with his jacket. Cop wrote him tickets for blocking traffic and littering. Judge through out the litter when the cop admitted the jacket was still smoking and too hot to pick up. -Year9595
  • If I were a cop and somebody did the "I KNOW A COP EVERYBODY IN MY FAMILY IS A COP" would get the biggest ticket I could write even if I was just going to give a warning or pulling you over to give you $1000. -Yaos
  • Last time my brother in law (he's a cop) got pulled over, he didn't get a ticket. What the cop DID do, was make him sit there for 45 minutes while the cop did his paperwork. So, at least he got some punishment. -TechieSidhe
  • the story in "the art of deception" doesnt work in most states becasue in traffic court they give cops two or three chancs to make an appearance. After that they will dismiss the case. -xtc46

  • 5. Digital Dogcow photographed at last?
    Just saw this today, and had to wonder if the elusive Digital Dogcow had been immortalized on film... Picture can be found at http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/599.html
    [By: DreadPirate / 2004-10-01]
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  • Anyone playing catchup here?. See my whiteboard! <eg> -Digital Dogcow
  • Ketchup? Not very good on Dogcows, I hear... ;) -snowcrash
  • Aww, you're cute DD! Want to be my pet? ;-) -CommanderData
  • "Moof" ....rofl -leonine
  • *grabs back plushie* This is my special plush dogcow, and it's so cute, and I made it myself, and...and...I love my plushie! I'm going to name it Dogcow! *hugs plushie* -snowcrash
  • Hey! I'm kinda plushie! -LaserGuru
  • DDC ? Naw ... It says 'MAC' LUsers ... ;-) -Necros
  • first off- a hearty "MOOF" to DD, and that is an old link, yet funny, and Necros- I've said it before- my BEST times were doing MAC support- 2:38 AHT. MEH to you, I say, MEH! -HappyCrappy
  • I don't do Mac support, but have heard that the rule is: "It's either easy or impossible" any truth to that? -CTYankee

  • 6. Disaster Prediction Fulfilled
    So one of my myriad duties is to manage the corporate anti-spam filter program. Since it can ban or quarrantine attachments, it's pretty useful as an anti-virus filter as well. But of course, any filter is going to occasionally have false positives, and this one, since we make our own rules, gets a lot. Therefore most rules are made to send email into quarrantine for review, and later made to reject once we are sure they are "safe".

    So the boss and his wife use the corporate email for their personal email (strike one!). And that leads to a higher incidence of false positives in quarrantine. Soooo, the boss made me set some addresses to bypass the filters (strike two!)

    So this morning I discovered most of our computers have a virus. And I traced it to one of those addresses that bypass our filters (strike three!). And it got loose because the Anti-Virus Update server is blocked from the Internet by a bad firewall rule (Foul! How do I get a foul after the third strike?????).

    I told them it was not a good idea! So, should I point this BFG9000 at myself, or at the boss?
    [By: CyBear / 2004-10-01]
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    Comments

  • LART barrel should always point AWAY from you... -TechieSidhe
  • Put the boss on a separate firewall with no filters. -LaserGuru
  • Either that or just put your boss outside the firewall. -NightSteel
  • Just set fire to the boss and burry him in a wall... -TeamWolfguard
  • Hey, the knob told you to do it, and he signs the paychecks. No-brainer for me. Him, too, apparently. -Owie
  • LART them all and let *deity* sort 'em out. -maciarc
  • If you have a policy that dictates how e-mail/spam filtering works stick to it and don't let the boss change it to make it convienient for him to chat with the wife. -Starfury
  • <boss mode> BUT I NEEEEED MY Pr0n...errr I mean wife </boss> -xtc46
  • Do they make a "Double-dong" BFG-9000? That way blame is spread to both parties.... :-) -vacuumtubes
  • Hopefully, you documented or otherwise tracked his stupidity an obeyed the first rule- CYA, CYA,CYA.... -HappyCrappy

  • 7. Two Quickies
    Customer 1 : "I need a new hard drive for my system. They told me to see if you had a 10 gigabit or 20 gigabit drive." Mathias : I'm sorry, we don't carry either of those. we do have a 40 Gigabyte drive... Customer 1 :"Is that bigger or smaller than the 20?" *time passes* Customer 2 : "I have an Hp, and it's trying to start in DOS mode" Mathias : Okay, what version of windows are you tryng to run? (I always hafta ask this. Sometimes it's windows 3.11, sometimes it's not even windows.) Customer 2 : "Windows 98" Mathias : Okay, is there a floppy disk in the disk drive? Customer 2 : "I don't know"
    [By: Mathias / 2004-10-01]
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  • *blink* -LaFiamma
  • <Q>Is the 40 bigger or smaller than 20 ? <Ans> No, they are both the same physical size... ;) -Wonko The Sane
  • Then try to explain AWG- American Wire Guage. -LaserGuru

  • 8. Oh, yeah, one more quickie
    Customer 3 brings in a system complaining that it powers on but gets no video. Opened up, no RAM is installed. Okay I'm going home now.
    [By: Mathias / 2004-10-01]
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    9. Lart away... Stupid me...
    I have not idea what happened, but I just turned on my palm pilot today, and it started up as fresh as the day I purchased it! Every bit of data was gone! Luckily I hotsync from time to time (like a couple days a month) so it wasn't like i really lost any data (except 3 weeks of travel logs and gas mileage stats) The only other data I lost was how much money my girlfriend has liberated from my wallet, but then I might be better off not knowing... I think I'm going to have to start backing up more often... and while I'm at it I should probably back up my accounting data on my home PC...
    [By: garwain / 2004-10-01]
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  • I had a bunch of stuff in my iPaq main memory like a chump and left it in my bag over a 3 day weekend. All that data was long gone when the main and backup batteries drained. Oops. -DarthLuke
  • Does your girlfriend know how to reset a palm piolet? -mellowfellow
  • I thought having a gf meant you didn't have to PalmPilot. -AngrySup
  • And why is your girlfriend taking money from your wallet? Wife/kids I can understand (happens to me all the time) -Starfury
  • I've got 2 extra Hi-Cap batteries for my Ipaq, and I still let it drain every couple of weeks -satanstech
  • A good Freware file sync program is SyncBack from http://www.2brightsparks.com/freeware/freeware-hub.html I like it's so simple even a Starfish can use it . . . well maybe no THAT simple, but easy for us. -AniMaL
  • just put the old Visor on to recharge. Thanks for reminding me. If I had lost all of those gam... I mean, that data, I would be upset! -ecoli
  • I've seen some PalmPilots that have a security feature that will erase all date after X number of incorrect password entry attempts. I know a few people that have had it in a bag, and lost all the data from stuff in the bag hitting keys on it somehow. -JH
  • Don't keep your mobile phone next to your Palm - it happened to my wife a few times, till Palm got back and said beware of mobile phones next to the Palm - problem fixed. -CSurfer

  • 10. BlackBerry
    DO NOT REQUEST A BLACKBERRY FROM ME, 10 MINUTES BEFORE YOUR OH SO VERY IMPORTANT TRIP. YOU WAIT TILL THE LAST MINUTE YOU DO NOT GET THE DEVICE. SHUT UP GO AWAY YOU WORTHLESS INGRATE SPINLESS STARFISH. TY I FEEL BETTER 3 HOURS TO GO
    [By: Dangermouse / 2004-10-01]
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  • <post nazi> Caps lock man, caps lock.</post nazi> PS. I hope your day gets better. -Bobsentme
  • C'mon, he's very anrgy. -Galandar
  • CAPS WHAT? -DarthLuke
  • *opens his suitcase and starts unpacking in the LART shelter* Yeah, I'll be here a while. -Bobsentme
  • Wow. I had this exact request two days ago. He got the blackberry... It wasn't set up, so it was just a fancy cell phone, but he got it with instructions that he needs 24 hours notice to get all features. -Evan
  • So yeah...can I get a Blackberry? <Move over in the LART shelter, folks!> -T23M
  • I have a rasberry for you... -maciarc

  • 11. huh...

    SF: "I ain't goin' wivout my phone 'cause I be 'specktin important phone calls and I cant' be wivout service"
    and later on..... "could you have it did today."

    ...I wonder what kind of "important calls he be 'specktin"
    [By: leonine / 2004-10-01]
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    Comments

  • that guy lives in my apartment complex, and drives a hummer H2 (500 dollar a month apartment, 50k car in front of it) -rhiannon
  • Whoa...flash back to my days below the bible belt. Damn, now my head hurts. -Bobsentme
  • "I'm sorry, Sir, but I won't repair your service until you can repeat that sentence in proper English." Gods, I hate people who speak that way in public. What about that do they think makes anything they say remotely credible or makes them look intelligent? I hope these calls are about ESL (English as a Second Language) classes, because someone seems to need them badly. -TechieSidhe
  • Was in SF and asked a kid on the street where the closest Mcdonalds was. He told us "You go down dere and to dat way." We figured out dere = straight ahead, dat = left, and guessed dis = right. -Starfury
  • You live in my neighborhood, rhiannon? ;) -bracketmonkey
  • jon't writly know watch o dem dar impotant telyphone calls hed be expectin' -techpeon
  • The people from Hooked on Phoenics were supposed to be calling him. -chefque
  • He be 'specktin' a call from dem good ol' boys down to Ni-ger-e-uh. Dey's done promized him a 'hole mess of cash just from his helping them outta a jam with them bad ole' revinoors down thar. -TechnoVampire
  • "Proper English? I dun did dat! Don chu?" Let's see, important phone calls, must be certain "deals" going down. -Captain Trips

  • 12. Customer unable to fax...
    5 mintues into the call: Me: "Let's check your settings...are you set to fax through the internal mode?" Idiot: "Yes" 45 minutes later...Idiot: "This is set to fax through the Bluetooth modem. Should I be doing that?"
    [By: LaFiamma / 2004-10-01]
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    Comments

  • yes bluetooth can do that just aim it at your television and you know when its done when you moss starts growing over your keyboard. -techpeon

  • 13. Holy Spyware Batman
    Gees...........here I am running SpySweeper on an EU's machine. It detected:

    1. Spyware Found - 29
    2. Traces found - 29,534

    I won't even COUNT the amount of times Ad-Aware and SpyBot have found the same crap over and over again. My god, her machine is really fuxored.
    [By: Bunglehawk069 / 2004-10-01]
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    Comments

  • "But the purple ape told me that I need to download this XXX.exe file!" -billybien
  • Same spyware popping up again and again? Might be the dreaded VX2. Ugh. -Amiga5000
  • try www.pestscan.com on it, and clean up what it finds (less cookies, at least I don't). Might allow it to stay clean for a while -CTYankee

  • 14. This is not tech.

    Weep all ye male techs, CD is now off the market.

    Fuzzyom asked me to marry him and I've accepted. Wanted to share the great news with you guys! Hopefully, we should be getting hitched next year.

    We will now return you to the regular schedule of tech ranting and I apologise for posting a non-tech story...

    [By: CommanderData / 2004-10-01]
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  • Congrats! -GothKat
  • ::sniffle sniffle:: Oh, well, I was on the wrong side of the pond, anyway. -FredKlein
  • Congrats :) -Bunglehawk069
  • Congratulations, and good luck! You were too old for me anyway <dives for LART shelter> -trs998
  • Having been the one lucky "yank" to meet CD, I have to say Fuzzyom is getting very lucky here. Best of wishes to the both of them! -DreadPirate
  • *Throws rice at CD* HURRAH!! Oh...I guess I should have taken it out of the box, huh? Wow, I didn't know someone could pick up an ICBL, I thought it was much to heavy to**KLANNNNGGGGGG!!!** Ow....*collapses* -Darth
  • W0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000hooooooo!!! :D -mousie
  • Congrats! May you enjoy many happy years...in bed,the kitchen table,the floor...anywhere ya want!!!! :D<dives for the LART shelter>"Wolfprince!!! Open this dorr RIGHT NOW!!!" BAM!BAM!BAM! -rokitt
  • Congrats! I am sooo happy! May you have many years bereft of Starfishies! -TechieSidhe
  • *scratches CD's name off of list* There goes another one. Oh yeah, CONGRATS!!! :P -Bobsentme
  • Congratulations. May it be the best decision you ever make. It was for me (and I hope my wife agrees). -Owie
  • Congrats to both you and Fuzzy. :) -pcmacman
  • Whats the going rate for a Hitman????... (All the Best CD) ;) -Wonko The Sane
  • yaaaaaaaaaay! -VIPERsssss
  • Congrats! I, the missus, and the as-yet-unborn spawn wish you all the best in your life together! -soccerdude
  • Congratulations to the both of you! That's wonderful, I'm sure I join everyone here in wishing the two of you a long and joyful time together. -NightSteel
  • Congrats CD!!! -GeekGirl
  • Many congrats to the both of you! I'll sacrifice a PHB to make sure the wedding day goes off without a hitch! Other than the two of you getting hitched, that is! -SwedishChef
  • So, uh, this will *delay* the posting of NSFW pics, I understand, but... :) Congrats! -namor
  • Yay! Best wishes! :) -bracketmonkey
  • Congrats and best wishes to you both!!! -hkypipe
  • Congratulations!! Will there be a webcam? Will the cake be chocolate?? I want to see the Tazmanian Devil in a veil!! (runs for LART-shelter) -Answerboy
  • Congrats! (Saaaaayyyyy...how did you produce these results? Maybe I can copy the technique... ;) ) Seriously, congrats again! OK, Casa de Crash expects at least a suggestion for a wedding gift for the two of you! -snowcrash
  • Congratulations! But I don't see how this is non-tech. It gives hope and incentive to the rest of us out here in tech land. We need happy endings... and happy beginnings! Best wishes! -Paisley
  • You have my most heartfelt congradulations of this blessed event! Might I offer a suggestion? I remember you posting about the torture your sister put you through for her wedding.... it may be time for vengence... Is it going to be a Goth wedding? put her in the wedding, make her wear a goth dress. <BFEG> -wolfprince
  • Just read TSC today. Congratulations! :) -NightRain
  • Congratulations to the both of you, all the best for the future and long may it last -StuffT
  • So is there a ring involved? Do we get to see the ring? I wanna see the ring! -snowcrash
  • Congrats to the both of you! May your future years be happier (if that is possible) than the ones I have with my wife (stop looking over my shoulder dear!). -ecoli
  • Congratulations! (I'm not envious, no I'm not.) -Tekkie
  • Congratulations CD. May you both have years of happiness -PID1
  • Congrats! :) -ReDon
  • May the road rise to meet you, may the wind always be at your back, and may all your ups and downs be between the sheets. Congratulations! -EvilOtto
  • Congratulations!!! I Agree, when do we get to see the shiny bobble? -BunnieTechBabe
  • Tell fuzzy to remember this key info. No man is complete until he's married. Then he's finished. Congrats -mccallister
  • not to burst your bubble but spain now allows homosexuall marriage....its not special anymore :p -SGTARKyTEK
  • I join the chorus: congratulations! May your partnership be happy and fulfilling! -NordicPT
  • Many congratulations! -teivrann
  • Congratulations to both of you! Hope you have many happy years together. -sassicatz
  • Congratulations and the best of Health, Wealth and Happiness to you both -Zoomer
  • Congratulations! I wish you both the utmost happiness together. It's always heartening to say two techs get together. Now please have lots of mini-CDs who will learn to LART like their mother! :P -modeski
  • Congrats to you both! -BritishBunny
  • Congrats, m'dear. Now I understand the delay in my little project for you. No problemo; it's waited this long, a little longer isn't going to kill anybody. Live long and prosper. \V/, -RiffRaff
  • i was trying to figure out why the sky was grey today and the neighborhood dogs were hiding -postal tech
  • Little fuzzycds on the way ! -Deadagent
  • OOOO! Congrats CD! When do we get to see pictures of the ring? :) <wonders off to whimper at the other half>. -fearmyroot
  • Congrats! More techs need to join forces against the starfish. . . -valkyrja
  • Congrats! =) -ThreeBucks
  • On behalf of myself, I hereby bestow congrat...actually, let's make it simpler. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! -Mango
  • Woohoo! Grats! When do we get to see the ring?! -pixel
  • My most heartfelt congratulations, CD! Live long and prosper, the two of you together! -chazz
  • "Yes, dear" begins here.... -vacuumtubes
  • Congrats! Married life is wonderful. -MrsQuadrinaro
  • Congrats CD ! I love a day when lots of good things happen !! -Spyder19
  • Best of luck to you both! (Hey, who says marriage [or engagement] takes one "off the market?" Okay, maybe "not for sale," but I am still "for rent!") -Captain Trips
  • Congratulations to both of you! I'll set the bat choir to learning the Wedding March for the ceremony, and a few rather more risque tunes for the honeymoon. -TechnoVampire
  • Many congratulations to you *bows* -Lehk
  • WTG! Congrats! -Zayda
  • Congratulations CD. -Dcadiman
  • Congrats to the both of y'all! -Grue
  • Congrats and many happy years to you and Fuzzyom!!! Best of luck and I will sacrifice any stray SF/PHB's I can find to help ensure smooth events. -virtualchoirboy
  • Congratulations!!! With all you've been through with MCB, your ex-boss, and everything else, I hope this marriage provides the balance to average things out. Best of wishes to you and Fuzzyom. -HidariMak
  • Congratulations, good luck, and may the force be with you. -RandalGraves
  • Congrats and best wishes for a long and happy life together!!!!! -redevil34
  • Congratulations, Hope your marriage is as happy as this Kiwi and her fellow tech hubby. -K1W1
  • Yes, what they all said, X2... -HappyCrappy
  • Congrats!!! Congrats to both of you. -rockytech
  • Welcome to the world that is committed relationships where you only have sex with one person again ever (unless you become swingers). It's a fun place. Just remember that when you spawn, you'll be bringing on the anti-christ so take many cute photos of the burnings and pillaging and such. -Dragones
  • little behind but ya..^^^ what they all said..and does this mean no Bikini pics? -neuman1812
  • Just caught up with TSC - many congrats both! -Witchfinder
  • Waaaaaahhhh!!!! i've been away too long!!!! :( anyways congratulations CD hope you enjoy your years of wedded bliss till the end of your battery life :P -CrystalMare
  • Congratulations! -Firthy2002
  • Congratulations! We're all invited to the wedding, right? *finishes comment before GF sees post and demands engagement ring. Again.* -Bioguy
  • Congratulations from the bald dwarf! May you (both) live as long as you wish, and Love as long as you live! -CTYankee
  • late congrats to the both of you. (Damn, now I'll have to find a new dream woman) -srteach
  • somewhat late, but congratulations!!!!!!!!! -Mahal
  • Congrats my British Butterfly. Fuzzymom is a lucky Brit.......DAMMMIT I LOST MY CYBERGIRLFRIEND!!!!! *kicks virtual chair* -burrkiss
  • Congrats CD - (Tell Iain it is about bloody time!). When is the handfasting? Are you webcasting it? -lineswine
  • Here's my veeery late congrats to you! So, congrats! -ShiftedBeef
  • Had to be off-lined for three days the a/n you posted. Belated congergitaions! -MadJack
  • Best of luck to both of you, may you be more happy than you ever imagined! -AmdInside
  • Sorry I failed to send you a congrats! I was unable to read TSC on a regualr basis. Welcome to the happy techie love-love club!! -TechOgre

  • 15. cram your peachtree
    this lady is the stupidest person that i have to deal with on a regular basis. it took 3 weeks for her to learn how to burn a cd, calling me every other day to ask the same question. even though i had left a detailed instruction sheet on her desktop. now the new one is peachtree ( i hate this software as is ) if you are running an older version (2002) you must upgrade to 2005 for the new tax updates to work. now she HAS done all this before. HOWEVER now she has a choice, she can have me do it then blame me and make my life hell with a million peachtree questions. I am NOT peachtree support. i use it to bill my labor for dealing with fucktards like you, i don't know the forms setup, i don't know the tax setup crap, i don't know peachtree. leave me the hell alone and find someone who knows it or pony up some cash to the phone support that's going to be cheaper than me helping you in the long run.
    [By: n0ize / 2004-10-01]
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    Comments

  • Tell her she's barking up the wrong tree. -Rabbitt

  • 16. Simple instructions...
    Are not so simple it seems. I've lost count of how many times I've run SFs through Disk Cleanup: Me: "Ok, put a check in everything and hit OK." SF: "Temporary Files?" Me: "A check in everything and hit OK." SF: "Temporary Files?" Me: "Check everything and hit OK." SF: "Downloaded Program Files?" Me: "Check everything and hit OK." Then when they finally hit OK... SF: "Do I want to delete these files?" Me: "Hit Yes." SF: "You mean OK?" Me: "Yes. Hit OK." SF: "You want me to hit OK, then?" Me: "Yes. Hit OK." SF: "Are you sure?" Me: "Yes. Hit OK." SF: *still not sure* "Alriiiight... I hit OK." Me: "Let me know when it exits out to the desktop." SF: "Alright." Time passes. And passes. Me: "Is it still going?" SF: "Is what still going?" Me: "The Disk Cleanup program. Is it stil running?" SF: "How do I tell?" Me: "Do you see if on the screen?" SF: "No I just see my screensaver." Me: "Do you mean the desktop?" SF: "The picture of my kids, and all the little icons." Me: "That's what we want." SF: "What did we just do?" *bang bang*
    [By: AmazingKreskin / 2004-10-01]
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  • I'm sure I've seen mousemats with a target and "Bang head here". Problem is, they're neophrene, and I prefer hard plastic (a Ratpadz ATM) -trs998
  • On XP I'm careful what I choose for disk cleanuo options. Once I noticed over 4 gigs in "compressed old files" on a drive with 40 gigs of data on it. So, you're going to delete 10% of my data? No thanks. -DarthLuke
  • Hey, the only thing wrong is that you said "hit" OK, I used to do that until I found out some of my sf's would HIT the ok or "turn off" the pc, instead of powering down...... Yeah...it's Friday -PoohBear
  • DarthLuke: It doesn't delete those files... read it more carefully. It says "COMPRESS" not "Compressed". What it's offering to do is compress "old files" (files that haven't been accessed or used in a long time) to save disk space. -- Also, you don't want to check everything in disk cleanup. You want to leave "Office Setup Files" unchecked, or the user will have to put in their Office setup CD when office needs to install a new feature. -EagleEye
  • I always copy the CD's to a directory and install from there. For some reason, Office refuses to install everything as 'Run from my computer' for me. -maciarc

  • 17. WOW!!
    We just recently had a meeting to tell us about how our numbers are going to be measured for the next year. Wonder of wonders we are moving over to a new model that is much more fair. On top of that we (already) get time most days to process non-phone work or do follow-ups. Now if we don't need that 30 min a day we're just supposed to take it as EXTRA break time!!!

    This was presented from the highest level to us this week. Woohoo!! Extra breaks rock!! On top of that I found out what my raise for this year is going to be. (does happy dance)
    [By: DarthLuke / 2004-10-01]
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    Comments

  • Congrats! CD's getting married, you're getting a raise and better working conditions...dang! :) -snowcrash
  • Oh, and I almost forgot I'm doing a bunch of off-the-phone work several hours a day so less time dealing with starfish! -DarthLuke
  • DarthLuke! Wakeup! It was just a dream! Wakeup! <I can't get him to wake up! And look at that smile on his face!> -CyBear
  • *Gets the paddles out of the shelter closet* CLEAR! -Bobsentme
  • na Let him dream abit longer, then wake him up to the nightmare -Deadagent
  • ...followed by five words: ".....and then you wake up." -vacuumtubes

  • 18. Recording Calls (question)
    Ok, as far as I know, there is no way for me to personally record calls. I can hit a button that will send it to mu supervisor, but that's about all. Any suggestions as to how I might be able to nab a few calls here and there? I'd love to get some of these lusers on tape, hehe.
    [By: Vermiis / 2004-10-01]
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  • We record our calls (for training purposes) by having a adaptor between the headset and phone which has a normal tape recorder mic jack on it. Then it's just matter of using a small tape recorded (our sound cards mic input) to record ;-) -NordicPT
  • I need a more discriet way to do that. I don't think I'm actually 'allowed' to do it. -Vermiis
  • Perhaps a suggestion to the powers that be for recording for "training" purposes? -Rabbitt
  • Radioshack makes a device that makes recording calls a piece of cake. If you wire all the cables behind your phone most stoopervisors won't notice. -Yuri
  • They are recorded by a 3rd party company, and our supervisors can pull them up. And they're in friggin .wav or .mp3 format! I just don't have access to them, bah! -Vermiis
  • if you can secretly install a dialup modem in your computer, then split the phone line with one line going to the modem. then you just have to download software that records calls. I've used software called "callcorder". it works ok -LiQUidICicle
  • Step 1: Buy a digital audio recorder. Step 2: Get adapter/splitter that sends audio to digital audio recorder. Step 3: Make sure splitter is hidden, or it looks like part of headset contraption. :) -EagleEye
  • LoL, well if you can show me something that I might be able to get away with, please send links! The problem is that I'm right out in the open, it's an open floor. Everyone can see, so I need something quick and easy and something you couldn't even notice if you sat in my chair. -Vermiis
  • step 1) Dont farking do it, do you really want to risk getting fired from your job just to have some funny recordings. really not worth it at all, unless you REALLY hate your job. -Lehk

  • 19. Revenge is sweet
    Its been a while since I told a call story :) - most of my calls are pretty routine, but today it was like a full moon was out or something. We do some limited network/hardware support over the phone for our customers - its usually best effort. A lot of issues we refer to a consultant.

    Today I had a customer call back who had already been refered to a consultant who told him "everything was fine, and whatever was wrong was something WE did" and he was pretty pissed off. He was so mad that he put his csr on the phone and I helped her solve it - probably took about an hour. The problem? The machine had two nics in it - only one was being used and it had the wrong network address, and the cable was disconnected (remember the original tech said everything was fine?). Most of the time I spent trying to figure out what network adapter was connected - after that have her connect the cable back to the network switch.

    When the shop owner came back to the phone I told him something along the lines of "you know that consultant that charged you 200$ to tell you everything was fine - truth be known he could have fixed that in five minutes if he knew what he was doing". All he could say was he was sorry for the way he talked to me earlier and he would have a chat with the onsite tech. BTW - I rarely attack consultants/technicians unless they are dangerous (I had one ask me how to format a disk once) or blame things on me.

    If the tech who did this is reading you should think twice before crossing Yuri :).[By: Yuri / 2004-10-01]
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  • Just imagine what you'd be making as a consultant. ;) -namor

  • 20. Woot! New PFY
    It's official, I got an e-mail from my PHB today! I have a new PFY arriving on Oct 11th. Only one more week with no help! Yaaaaay *does happy dance*

    Not only that - they hired the guy I asked them to! WTF - the PHB listened to me about this guy's skills, personality, and all around usefulness. I didn't just sit in on the interviews for no reason!

    Not only that - as long as he stays at least 90 days (which I'm sure he will) I get a finder's fee for referring him! *even more hop hop bunny happy dance*
    [By: BritishBunny / 2004-10-01]
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  • CONGRATS!!!! but it took them long enough. -wolfprince
  • <dances the happy dance with britishbunny and wolfprince in the forest of "good times"> Congrats! :) -rokitt
  • <Hugs BBunny & joins the dance> I'm so glad for you! Hopefully that will give you some time to spend at TSC again. (Missed ya!) -Tekkie
  • Are you going to turture him and poke him with a sharp stick? This is usually what you do with PFYs. -robbor
  • I wish they'd give me a PFT. /am the PFY -Coward
  • coward @ pft = pert/perky female tech? ;) -NightRain
  • Pretty Fine Tooshie? -burrkiss
  • But is the PFY cute? (notice I'm not necessarily being gender specific???) -CyBear

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