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Tech Stories Archives - December 2004
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1.
What's the problem?
The phone rang. I answered it. I will regret this action in 3.425173859 seconds.
SF:"Yeah, why can't I get on my computer?"
ME:"What's the problem?"
SF:"Well...."*click* (the call just disappears...I think he hung up)
Silence falls upon my headset, a bemused smirk drifts across my face. Peace and harmony become one in the universe. And the little fishie never tried to call back.
That was my first call of the day.
This is gonna be a good day! :) [By: rokitt / 2004-12-01]
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"Yeah, why can't I get on my computer?" "Is this multiple choice, or do I just get one guess?" - teivrann
<ok, recloak the anti-starfish cannon and return to normal orbit...> -TeamWolfguard
I was nowhere near the grassy knoll, I have witnesses. -Digital Dogcow
I was nowhere near the Texas Cheesecake depositary. <looks at the sky, whistling> -Armakuni
I have mental image of starfish trying to climb onto the computer. -THETECHFROMHELL
If you can't use a phone properly, WTF makes you think you can navigate a computer? -billybien
Come on, be accurate was it 3.4251738589, 3.4251738590 or 3.4251738591 seconds... ;) -Wonko The Sane
Sweet the sentient obital defence platform is FANALY configured properly! -Harm
No dammit! It was 3.14 or whatever PI is. -mccallister
"That's no moon, that's a space station!" -Jay911
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2.
database fun
So a call comes in around 3:40 yesterday evening for a customer that needs to restore a backup, but its not really a backup - its a sql filegroup. So I says - well if you can get on the internet I can connect to your machine and do it for you. 15 minutes later (earthlink - go figure) it turns out that his isp connection doesn't work. So he says well can't you talk me over the phone on how to do it? I think hmmm.... I enjoy a challenge and I don't see why I couldn't do it. An hour and a half later - success! But let me put this in perspective. To attach the filegroup as an actual database I had to talk a person who has a hard time typing in the first place into detaching the existing sample database and type in a rather complex command like this,
exec sp_attach_db @dbname = N'"database name"',
@filename1 = N'"path to data"',
@filename2 = N'"path to transaction log"'
Usually this only takes me like 10 minutes if that.[By: Yuri / 2004-12-01]
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O_O It's hard enough get then to type ipconfig -modeski
Yeah so I basically promised myself that I wouldn't do something like that again. I gave into sf peer pressure :(. -Yuri
Holy shit. I've had to do that a few times myself but I have never had to walk a complete novice through it...*shudders* -CommanderData
"If you learn something from it, and it doesn't kill you in the process, it's never a total loss..." - my dad -hkypipe
It's hard enough to get them to type DIR or VER. -AmazingKreskin
just trying to get them to write MSCONFIG can be a bitch....let alone as soon as you tell them what you are doing in msconfig...they freak out and think you are deleting programs from there computer -thepianoman
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4.
Sad but true
My mom went berzerk yesterday while I was at school and had the cable disconnected. I no longer have online at home. I will try to see if I can get it back and have my own account with Time Warner/ RoadRunner.[By: UnderLord / 2004-12-01]
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Ouch, what did you do? Good luck with getting reconnected. -Armakuni
Gee, and WoW just came out. Pisser. -Owie
She must've pissed off a CSR! -billybien
....or got pissed off by a CSR (or mabey even spoke to me....I've had that effect on people at times) -leonine
You had Adelphia? -LaserGuru
OUCH! ok thats just sux hard man. good luck and hopefully you have a credit card. -Harm
Ah, you screwed up like my son did and got internet disabled on his computer due to bad grades? -mccallister
K... Let me clarify: (1)I am in College. I have really good grades (B+ min.) in my A+ Cert. courses. (2)I have Time Warner Cable (which is Road Runner cable internet). (3) My mom is really messed up in the head. She does things (with my PC, Wi-Fi router, etc) and blames it on the housekeeper, which is bogus cuz she knows better. (4) She doesn't understand things mentioned in #3 and yet persists to move my CDs, DVDs, paperwork, PC documentation, etc. and again blame the housekeeper (even on days that she did not come to clean the house). I need an electric fence around my desk and electronics. -UnderLord
A padlock on your door? -sassicatz
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5.
Interview
Hey all, I have an interview Friday with another state agency. It would be a lateral move, but at a higher pay rate. Plus, I wouldn't have to talk to complete idiots all day. The only calls I would be taking would be from the likes of us! Yipee! My boss has written me a wonderful letter of recommendation, and advised me of a promotion that will be coming available soon. However, I would still probably take the move, even if the pay is less than the promotional pay. Anyway, just wanted to let y'all know about it![By: kman52000 / 2004-12-01]
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Congrats and good luck! -ecoli
Good luck! Good news from our fellow tech always puts a ray of hope in the rest of our hearts! -CyBear
ummm, why would people like us call tech support? Unless maybe you're gonna deal with hardware issues all day. Either way, congrats! -LiQUidICicle
Congrats! -VictorWong
Liquid: It's the Office of Telecommunications Management. If the agency helpdesk isolates the problem to a network issue, it will sometimes go to OTM. That is when we would call them. -kman52000
Sweet. Congrats! -hkypipe
Congratulations and best of luck! -sassicatz
Congrats -ltu1542hvy
Good luck m8, hope it all goes well. -Armakuni
mmmm.... you can almost touch the karma here. All the best. -Criptonite
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6.
Catch you on the flipside.
Ok, everyone has had a call where someone called in with an unsupported issue that was not really related to the service who, when told that their issue was not supported, said that they would switch to an alternate service, right? Well, I just got to catch one of those calls on the flipside. Our genious non-customer calls and rambles about windows 95 for a couple of minutes. My handle time is golden for the month and I don't really care, so I just let him run on until he starts demanding attention. You know, "Hello? Hello?! Is anyone there?", whiny berk. So then I ask what his actual beef is. Surprise surprise! His OS is no longer supported by another ISP so he's calling us. Of course, he doesn't HAVE service with my ISP and I'm not in sales and he would have needed to navigate an IVR to get to me, but this doesn't dissuade him in asking me for help. Of course, I start off by letting him know that without our service I will be unable to do anything for him and furthermore, his OS is supported by precious few people at this time, among whom we are not. He then gets angry at ME because HIS OS is 9 years old. I suggest that perhaps upgrading to an OS from this millenium might not be a bad idea if he wants to interact with other people through it. Then I cold transfer him to our sales department. I think that's where he meant to be in the first place anyway. If I can ask for a little feedback, do people prefer a synopsis of a call or the back and forth dialogue-style post? Or is it better to have a nice mix? The synopsis-style is easier to remember and format, but I feel like the dialogue-style is easier to read and generally funnier. Any opinions?[By: Shazzai / 2004-12-01]
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depends...sometime our calls last over an hour (with the real bad people) so quoting everything is just a bad Idea. I like a nice mix of the two, because we do have quite a few talented story tellers here and reading there stuff is always a joy. -xtc46
Each call is unique, as is each poster's writing style. Do your own thing. -thx1138
as far as post style....it changes as my moods change. BTW....don't send him to sales if you can help it, they arent going to care what OS he has and will not only sign him up, but tell him that you *will* support is POS OS (if they are anything like our sales team). -leonine
What xtc said... -hkypipe
I think I prefer dialogue-type. Get involved. -namor
Meh - they'll sign him up - get the install fee's out of him, then tech support will say he's not supported and he'll switch but isp will keep the money :). Isn't that how its supposed to work? -Yuri
yeah, but when he lies and says that he was told we would support it, there are notes indicating he was told that his OS was out of date and no longer supported. -Shazzai
Mixa, mixa, mixa <Blues Clues> -TechOgre
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8.
Is it wrong?
It is wrong to feel joy when telling a starfish their software (usually old DOS sh!t) will not work with virtual serial ports (e.g. USB to serial adaptors, network serial servers, PCI based serial ports, etc.). I almost hate to admit it, but it makes me feel giddy!! Crushing their hopes and shortening the call are both good reasons to love it! This is one guilty pleasure I allow myself (and get paid to do). 8-)[By: TechOgre / 2004-12-01]
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I always loved telling customers that they couldn't get their 21" CRT to do 1600x1200, 32 bit color, and 85hz refresh with a W 98 system that had a 2mb video card they'd scavened from their old Dos system. -Starfury
We feel your pain. And we like it ! -RTFM
Why can't I run Doom III on this Vesa Video card - it was state of the art when I got it.... -Wonko The Sane
...the only thing better than getting to LART starfish with the truth is when they want to argue with you about it (think MPFC argument skit) -leonine
Nope. I too delight in this. Why just today I got to tell a little old lady that it would be impossible to upgrade her 166 mhz system (with 16mb of ram) running windows 95 to windows xp. Now if I can just track down the dink who put the idea in her head. -Mathias
If it's a little old lady, just tell her to go ahead and put Windows XP on that P166 system. It will make it run as slow as she prolly is -ltu1542hvy
No, no it is not wrong. I cherish these sorts of calls myself, because I'm a sadistic bitch. -pixel
Sadly I support that old dos software and usually end up telling them the same thing. -Yuri
Wonko, it's going to be more likely on Dec26/27 "Why won't my new HELL PC run DoomIII or Half-Life2? It does have Intel EXTRE-E-E-ME graphics" (Extemely CRAP graphics). -Wraith556
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9.
Mail settings for idiots
Hello all! I hope you all had a nice KTHXGiving (for those of us that are 'Mericans) and a happy end-of-november for the rest... anyway.
I think I read a similar story here once, but I have to tell it (again?) because the sheer stupidity of it makes my brain hurt.
My friend works night-audit at a hotel. They have an office computer for the employees to use with XP installed. On an almost daily basis, my friend logs in to discover a certain employee that works evenings has been using his account and somehow or another gotten some spyware installed on it, necesitating spybot and adaware execution almost daily. A few days the little "You have one message in your inbox" thing was under his login icon. Having never even touched outlook on the machine, he became filled with a murderous rage. It was simply the "Welcome to outlook" message upon investigation, but the fact remained that his cow-irker had been messing around with his account.
But, lo and behold, upon closing outlook it prompted him about the unsent message in the outbox! Further investigation showed that this message was from this starfish employee to one of his college buddies (there's a campus here) about some insanely hilarious picture from collegehumor.com, with text to the likes of "CHECK THIS OUT MAN LOL!" undoubtedly.
This sort of idiocy isn't really surprising from most people; we've grown to expect it, though we still shake our heads in disgust and chuckle about it. Since we both know this person has only the most basic knowledge of computers - the sort of "turn it on, click stuff, look at things" mentality which is horribly akin to the "put gas in it and it goes" mentality a lot of people have about cars - I asked him how he set up outlook, if he tried to use the university's mail servers. Nope. The server settings?
SMTP Server: smtp
POP3 Server: pop3
I guess, even though I've read almost all the archives here and have known of similar and stupider things done, to experience things like this first-hand is like a kick to the head.[By: innacsai / 2004-12-01]
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...tell your friend to change his password so farktard can't get into his account? -NightSteel
or kill the guy. -xtc46
Nightsteel: my first thought, too. -sassicatz
Sadly, they're not allowed to have passwords, for no reason that we can figure out... since this the ass has gotten his own account created, so it's a bit better than before. -innacsai
Innacsai, perhaps your friend could pull a "practical joke" with their own account? Someone else here posted a link to http://www.rjlsoftware.com/software/entertainment/ in response to a practical joke thread, which includes annoying computer behavior which you can disable with a certain key combination or mouseclick. It should annoy the culprit into not using your friend's account, if he continues to do so anyways. -HidariMak
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10.
How do they breathe on their own?
I work for a small ISP in PA. Been doing tech support for a while, third company (the second, which rhymes with Firthstink, closed)
So I'm walking someone through putting an init string in for a modem...
ME: Put in a lower case "n" like Nancy
HER: How do I do that?
ME: Hit the "n" on your keyboard.
HER: But the "n" on my keyboard is upper case!
Honest to God, how do some of these people function?[By: cosmo2004 / 2004-12-01]
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1) Because it's illegal to kill them. 2) The laws of this world work in very mysterious awards. 3) Take satisfaction in knowing you are smarter than they are 4) Eventually, they will reward themselves with a Darwin Award -Bunglehawk069
Breathing is easy because it's automatic. It's thinking that doesn't come naturally. -snowcrash
Well, yeah... they don't put *both* cases on the keyboard keys because it would CONFUSE PEOPLE! At that point I'd be shouting into the phone in bemused outrage. -namor
What would these people do with a fairly advanced (in their eyes) keyboard like mine? (a Logitech Elite) It has the "Ctrl" functions printed on the front of the keys, so the "F" key also has "Find" printed on the front of it. And even more SF-befuddling, it also has the "Apple" logo on the "Alt" keys. Not sure, since I didn't read that deep into the manual, but my guess would be that since it's a USB keyboard, it can be used with Windows or MAC? (please be gentle, I'm not a computer tech) -missourimule
yeah, many USB keyboards are XP/Mac compatible. I'm typing this on a Mac keyboard attached to my XP box... -caspian
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11.
Uh-Oh
After several stressful days and an uber-stressful morning that almost caused me to hyperventilate, i finally exploded on the phone after asking someone to type "cd winnt" and they couldn't do it. QT:"IT'S FIVE FUCKING CHARACTERS, WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD?" Well-deserved, in my opinion; nevertheless, bad news for me. We'll see what comes of it...[By: QuinTech / 2004-12-01]
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Uh, can you remember what their excuse was? Just curious to see how much they warrented that LARTing... Anyway, sounds like you need all the Karma you can get. <Straps a rocket to Tux's back, hands him a large box of Karma, and points him to the east> Good luck. -LinuXtreme
ack...Sending a bucket of good luck your way. -drachen
LinuXtreme: No excuse, just "cee-dee-space-double-u-what?" I usually pause for 2 seconds between each letter to allow their tiny brains to process, but as i said, i was feeling a little agitated. -QuinTech
Good luck! Did this starfish complain? - impressively direct LART though! -trs998
Just... wow. How badly did they take it? Hope it all works out alright for you! -LinuXtreme
Technically they were typing 8 characters. *bfeg* *runs to lart shelter knowing I'll never make it** -JH
You've got good karma coming from me. Many a time I have wanted to say something like that. -steveO77
you are my new fucking Hero! your name will ever be whipered with awe in the halls of the great satan isp -GefahrMaus
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12.
NT Question
Who would win in an all out brawl? Yoda, Xena, Merlin, or The Incredible Hulk[By: MaskedMarauder / 2004-12-01]
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Yoda, did you see him against doku? -Armakuni
The one i've never heard an answer for is Postman Pat vs Windy Miller (maybe just UK only this one) -Armakuni
I vote for this guy http://www.darwinawards.com/slush/200402/pending20040204-150948.html -lacentrix
I'd put my money on Yoda, what with his Force grandmaster status and all. -Firthy2002
Merlin - no question ( thinking in terms of D&D 2ed ED and 3rd ed spell list and casting) -Harm
I'll bite. Hulk. Get him riled enuf, he throws mountains. The only one I'd worry about is Yoda. -Chipsterian
Merlin Wins the google war, so i'll go with merlin. -Lehk
My wife "The fantasy encyclopedia" is ready to crown merlin as the winner due to his endless supply of magic. -ch41nbr8kr
I put my money on Commander Data. Nuff Said. I just earned boobie points!! -beatmewithstick
Hulk swat puny flying Yoda from sky. Hulk smash puny wizard before him finish casting first spell. Hulk take Xena back to his place, cook nice meal, turn lights down. Hulk get Hulk's groove on.... -Shaede
Reminds me of an interview with Kevin Sorb I read back in the day. Q: You would win in a fight, Hercules or Xena? KS: Hercules, because he's a demigod. But in real life Lucy Lawless could kick my ass. -thx1138
hey beatmewithastick, Wouldn't it be nice to be able to cash those point in? -srteach
None of the above - Gandolf the White. -kman52000
ROFL @ lacentrix....I hadn't seen that one yet. -leonine
Yoda. -CommanderData
Yeah....I'm thinking Yoda. -VIPERsssss
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13.
How to save the day
I took the last call of the night. SF had been on queue for 37 minutes and was (rightfully) a little annoyed. Neeped that the router looses it’s settings every time he powers it down and it has to be replaced NOW. That router is stupid in the sence that you have to save the settings separetly, just clicking apply doesn’t save them to flash memory. However, the _printed_ quick installation guide says that very clearly, twice, and gives step-by-step instructions how to do it. ME: ”OK, did you save the settings as instructed in the QIG?” SF: ”Of course I read the guide and followed it”. So, off we go to test the router. Changed some settings, guided user through saving settings (could hear from his voice that he had never seen that part of config program), powercycled the unit and lo and behold! settings were there. I had a quick look to clock, saw I had 10 minutes of shift left so.... ME: ”Sir, we need to check one thing more. Do you have the QIG there?” SF (quite tamed): ”Oh yes, it’s right next to the screen.” ME: ”Right, would you please open page 6 and read to me what it says in the middle of the page, the sentence which has a lot of white space around it?” SF: ”Hmm... it says here You have to separetly save the settings as instructed on page 9, otherwise your settings will get lost if the unit looses po...” <click> goes he. That one saved my day![By: NordicPT / 2004-12-01]
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What a LART! Nice one Nordic! -touchedTech
Beautiful LART Nordic! -DazZler
I always enjoyed having the user open the PRINTED user guide provided and have them turn to the page that gave explicit instructions or descriptions. Usually about 2 pages of a 10 page manual covered 99% of the problems/questions. -Starfury
Woot! Great job! -hkypipe
Very very nice. They probably did not even know they were being LARTed.. -rockytech
Pardon my newbiness, but what does LART stand for? -ch41nbr8kr
ch41nbr8kr, check out the lexicon in the Members Area: http://tinyurl.com/32xn8 Chazz started it, we've added to it & it's essential reading for site members. -Tekkie
Nothing finer than being able to refer a luser to the manual. nice touch doing it after 37 mins hold and a walkthrough though :) -modeski
Seriously sweet LART, beautifully executed...well done! -lineswine
Fan-freakin-tastic! Love it when someone does that! -sassicatz
What Lineswine said - squared! -Gromit
Brings a tear to my eye -jard
When Mrs. TechOgre was doing tech support, she had a guy call in saying he had page 5 and 7, but no page 6... -TechOgre
Wouldn't that be called a blindlart? -STJ
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14.
electricity goes "zap"
Background: Our office is moving over the weekend.
Last night, electricians were working on moving our large generator, and were making changes to the electrical systems. They didn't bother to tell us lowly techs this would be happening since they figured going around and turning off all of the computers would keep anything from going wrong.
This morning, I walk in and can smell fried electronics. Turns out they somehow sent current through the lines and fried all the computers on one of the circuts, including mine. Since I am the person with the latest shift that sits on that circut, all the spare power supplies had already been used to repair the other computers. So I have no computer at work and have to use whoever's not there at the time.
There is a nice burnt smell in the air at work though. And I've gotten to make fun of them for zapping everything. [By: JH / 2004-12-01]
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Burn, baby Burn! -CyBear
Whoop, whoop, 'Magic smoke' detected! -lineswine
You can't do your job and it's someone else's fault? I'm not seeing the problem here. -thx1138
I told you that sending 440 through that line would smoke those computers. -TeamWolfguard
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15.
Even when the information...
...is right in front of them!<br>Paraphrased:<br>SF: "I was wondering if a network computer is in the room I want to book." <br> ME:"Yes, that information is in the booking system." <br> SF:"Oh yeah, there it is, I didn't read it!" <br> Yes, you've been here 12 months, you've been using that system for as long, you've been in THAT room countless times, and you still have to ask a DUMBASS question! Get out of the gene pool, fugly idiot! Sorry about the <BR>'s, I'll get a fat ass one day.[By: DazZler / 2004-12-01]
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16.
Its too bad that stupidity isn't painful
When I started with my current isp I took calls directly from customers. I have since (about a week ago) recived a promotion where I mainly give others direction, and all to frequiently, take "supervisor" escalations. Any time a tier 1 has a request for a supervisor, they call us, (tier 2) tell us what is happening, and bring the customer on the line. If a customer calls in and asks for a supervisor we have to take the call. (Even if it is a billing issue, when for my ISP, tech support cannot even see the bill)
The tier 1 explained the issue, and brings the customer on the line. Cx: That guy wouldn't listen, if you can't help me get my email setup, I'm going to cancel! Me: What is the address of the email acct your having trouble with ? (me already knowing it's a third party, whose servers are unknown to me) Cx: XXXXX@[Third party isp].com Me: Ok, I see where the problem is, this is [ISP] we help you setup the [cx nick]@[ISP] email address, if you're having trouble with your [third party] email, you should contact them, or try to find help online. Cx: So you're refusing to help me too?!? Me: I can't help you, every email server has a diffrent address, I don't know what the address is for [third party]. Cx: Well lets just set it up using [ISP] address then. Me: That won't work. If you'd like I can give you the number for [third party (thanks google)]. Cx: I don't want them to help, I want you to help! Me: But I can't help you with this! I don't have the information, [third party] does! (It's worth noting that at my ISP we cannot disconnect a call unless the customer is being verbally abusive, if we do, it is grounds for dismisal) Is there anything else I can do for you? Cx: Help me setup my [Third party] Email. Me: As I've said, I cannot assit with that, is there anything I can do to help you? Cx: Neep neep neep (2-3 min) Me: Is there anything I can help you with? Cx: (Now yelling)Help me setup my [third party] email. (not quite abusive, but we're getting close). Me: If you'd like I can transfer you to [third party], other than that, unless there is something else, I cannot help you. Cx: Let me talk to your supervisor. Me: I can do that, but let me first menton this... [Cx interupts] DON'T THREATEN ME! [CLICK] Me: (finishing my statement)... My supervisor will also be telling you the same as the person before me, that we cannot help setup any third party email...[By: touchedTech / 2004-12-01]
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"I am Cornholio...Are you threatening me?" -billybien
Im sorry, but stupidity IS painful...The supidity of others brings me pain. -xtc46
Would this have been a good analogy time? You know, like, "Sir, what you are asking is like asking a bicycle store to help you fix your car. Just like a bicycle isn't a car, we are not [third party]." -Captain Trips
It's our job to *make* stupidity painful. -smellystudent
Remember Rule #1: Starfish Lie. SF in this case said "that guy wouldn't listen." This translates to "I refuse to listen." -kman52000
A co worker has a sign on his wall that says "Stupidiy should be painful" and it's clearly visible from the walkway. -Starfury
"When I told God that stupidity should be painful, and He said Okay, I forgot to add.. painful for the stupid people!" -concept14
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17.
PUT OFF... (Not entirely SFW)
Okay, so the title's not a play on words. Sue me. Last call of the day... and a good thing it was... Grandma Kettle calls up. "I need a referral for... what do you call it... a colon-scopy? A colonasscopy?" "A colonoscopy, ma'am?" (Cue sound effects from the Psycho shower scene...) "That's it." "You need to call your health plan for that, your plan with us covers chiropractic, acupuncture, and massage only. Have a nice day." OMG... The images... burned into my brain! The horror! THE HORROR!!! Need... mental floss... MENTAL FLOSS!!! (Cue Sam...) AH! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
(If that dones't cure your anal fixation...)
[By: MadJack / 2004-12-01]
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Stepson went in for one earlier this year. I can now say I've seen the inside of a young boy's colon... -namor
Thanks A LOT! Now I need to change my gaming name to something BESIDES spastic colon. -Bobsentme
Not something to brag about, either. Believe me, they are one of the most uncomfortable procedures you can undergo. Been there, done that, don't want to have to go through another one as long as I live! -Captain Trips
It brings a whole new meaning to the term "wash & brush up". -lineswine
hey tyhats nothing.I was at a conference last week, one of the papers was on colorectal cancer...with pictures O_O -modeski
when i was in nursing school i had to spend 3 days assisting in the colonoscopy lab....not fun -GefahrMaus
colonASScopy - a operation for duplicating butts? Oh god what have I done. I do NOT want that in my head! pass that sulphuric acid... -Criptonite
Please hold while we contact your primary care provider... Ms. Kettle? We just contacted your doctor and he confirmed that you needed a head CT scan but since you have your head tucked that far up your ass that you should have the colonoscopy done at the same time. -TeamWolfguard
I know people that have had this done. First you eat chicken broth/jello for days, take industrial strength laxatives that will knock the sh*t out of you. Then on the day of the procedure they insert a very long tube in you and take pictures. I hope NEVER to have one. -Starfury
At least Bill Gates will never need one - God made him a perfect asshole... -Gromit
Jeez, I guess a bunch of you are hoping to die young. I just turned 50 and will be getting a colonoscopy soon just to make sure nothing has gone haywire in there. Never again for the rest of my life? They recommend it again 10 years later -- I hope to live that long! </old fart> -concept14
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19.
Got what they deserved
This was told by one of my friends who works in a tall office building. There is a narrow alleyway between two office buildings and a cable company work truck was making it's way down it when a BMW turned in going the opposite direction. The cable truck was two thirds of the way down the alleyway, so the BMW should have waited and let it pass, but of course it didn't. The car's driver squeezed by the truck, but the truck's mirror scratched the BMW's roof. So the car stopped, three thugs in expensive suits got out, walked to the tuck's cab, opened the door, pulled the driver out and began beating him. Then the rear of the truck opened and a bunch of electric company employees with their tools got out and proceeded to give the thugs a royal beating....... I was on the floor when he was telling me this, because it reminded me of a similar situation: I was in a bus going down a little street when a pickup truck pulled in. The pickup truck's driver refused to back up and let the bus go through, so the bus driver had to call New Jersey Transit police and we all waited till they got there and made the truck move. I don't know whether the driver got arrested, but I hope he did.[By: ch41nbr8kr
/ 2004-12-01 ]
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what is it with people who drive bmw's? they think they own the world or something. (no offense to any tsc bmw owners, im talking about the starfish ones). -boxcar
I love it when thugs like that get what they deserve. Reminds me of a time that I heard of that the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) was having a party and the Hell's Angels decided to crash. Well, the Angels came in with their chains and switchblades drawn. All the knights and other warriors of the SCA simply went "Cool, let's party!" They then grabbed their swords, pikestaves, shields, and whatnot and came at the Angels ready to have fun. Ever see Hell's Angels run away with their tails between their legs? They did that day! -Captain Trips
aaah CT, they might have thought it was a SCPCA rally. Easy nuff mistake. Maybe the HA joined up to the SCA. got a webiste for them? -beatmewithstick
oops SPCA -beatmewithstick
nj transit police, i love nj, grew up there hence my nature to kill -postal tech
<rant> Ahhh, a subject close to my heart...arrogant 'beamer boys' getting a farkin' good kicking. These are the fuckwits (along with Audi/Merc/Volvo/4x4 drivers) that are guaranteed to chop you up, try to push in a queue of traffic, skip over lanes like a maniac (signal, we don' need no steenkin' signal) & generally act like a complete tosspot. Somehow this acts like these are typical of management - the people who qualify to have these as company cars. </rant> -lineswine
Reminds me of a story told me by a friend: He was sitting in traffic when he heard a Fire Engine approaching, so all the traffic struggles to move out of the way. Fire Engines zooms past, closely followed by a car whose driver has decided to make use of this gap in the traffic. cue angry beeps etc. Suddenly, Fire Engine slams to a halt, car behind just stops in time. Four huge firemen jump out, pull open the car door, remove his keys, frop them down a drain, jump back in the truck, and drive... what a superb LART -Shaede
Boxcar: You seriously think there is a tech on the planet who gets paid enough to own a BMW??? -RiffRaff
LOL @ the Captain and Shaede! -sassicatz
about onec a month i get to see "fucktard in BMW" VS "Dimwit in SUV" on 95 in philly. There have been some truly glorous wrecks with $100k worth of cars reduced to cube-stock. -TeamWolfguard
I love BMW drivers...on my way home, traffic is the usual. Female passes on the right in her 725i yakking on her phone, cuts me off and leaves me stranded in the middle of the intersection. The sad thing is she never got more than 3-4 car lengths ahead of me the entire way across the bridge. -Starfury
Reminds me of a party I crashed one night. I was out and about one night and noticed that teh new comic shope was still open at like 9:30pm (this is Ohio. We have some all night stuff, but most places close down around 8-10)I popped in and started browseing, then realized no one in there were really customers. There were guys talking and a few watching Monty Python and the quest for the Holy Grail, but no shoppers. I had crashed a party. they were nice enough about it and asked me to hang out. After a while we niticed the people outside the house nextdoor were getting a wee bit loud. Someone asked them to keep it down a bit and they rampaged over to the sidewalk outside the storefront and began threatening us. One ripped off his hirt (exposeing the temporary tattoo on his scrawny chest) and pulled an axe handle fro mthe back of his saggy jeans. At that point one of the party goesr broke out a collection of medievil weapons, including a mace, a weird metal glove-thingie staff, Sai.... and we just grinned. No fights, but it was a fun night. -Mathias
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20.
Longest call ever
Well Charles called me up and wanted some help with various things...and after about an hour with him wanted to talk with my supervisor about how good of a technician i was compared to all the others he ever had to deal with.....anyway we continued little did i know that i was taking on a big project. It turned out that he hada meeting that evening and he asked if i could call him back the next day....so i called back the next day and did all the windows updates ON THE PHONE, he had very slow connections so i sat there for hours...More problems occured and i was on the ohone with him the next day....so 2-3 full days with this guy.....wow..i hope i atleast got everything sorted out[By: thepianoman / 2004-12-01]
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That beats me I had a 6 hour call with a starfish and his 'puter... -Z0nker
My (pathetic) longest call was just over an hour. All I was doing was getting a customer to install monitor .inf files and then adjust refresh and screen settings. 5 min call and RTFM to fix, not this guy. -Starfury
3 hours for a NIC driver reinstalation. -Harm
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