Tech Stories Archives - January 2005
New Years Resolutions...
Now that New Years is here... What are the techs here going to vow to do for this year?
I, personally, am going to look even harder for a new mouse^H^H^H^H^H job. 8*))
[By: DoctorTech / 2005-01-01]
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Start thinking about a career instead of just a job. Socialize more. Get my finances straight. Is that enough, do you think? -LoTech
I like LoTech's answer. Add my vote to his. -NightSteel
my resolution is to quit this job -slappyslomo
The last resolution I ever made was years ago. No more New Year's resolutions. I'll change what I think needs to be changed at whatever time of the year I think of it. Damn calendar trying to rule my schedule! *grin* -teivrann
I resolve to stop making pornos. I also resolve to get that penial reduction surgery, cant keep tearing open the missus can I? -burrkiss
Eat better, study Buddhist philosophy, and be nice to my shiny new fiance. Oh, and get a new job and start school. And exercise. (I've got a lot of good intentions to pave with.) :) -snowcrash
Am I the only person that understood the ^H to be backspace on an old terminal? -EagleEye
I think my New Year's Resolution should be 1600 x 1200, since 1024 x 768 is just soooo 2003! -ltu1542hvy
I resolve to be less tolerant of stupidity, to point out mistakes with more sarcasm, to make sure that anyone who does something stupid knows that they are a waste of protoplasm, to....Oh, never mind. I do all that already. -Hastur
Nope, Eagle, I got it right away. We must be old farts, then. -dogmu
dogmu, I'm not *old*, I'm more seasoned! And I got the ^H as well. -Tekkie
I haven't hit 30 yet and even I got it. Depends on what you started working on/with...let's just say I can still read and write JCL fluently. -snowcrash
Yeah, Eagle, I got it as well... but I make no bones about it, I am an old fart. -chazz
I still have to occasionally reconfigure a VT-100 for that here & there.... -Grue
I got ^H ...I'm 19 ;) -Mango
New Years Resolution for me: I will double your dues if you argue with me that your slow ass connection isn't because of the porn dialers and freebie casinos installed on your comp. Capiche? -exzyle2k
i resole to stop laughing at burrkiss
Hmmm ... Maybe I had better withdrawl that application for Webmaster and Onsite Tech Support for the Playboy Mansion ;-) -Necros
I making the same resolution as last 6 years "Not to kill the stupid people" As it kept me outta the institution since the "incident". Just as a side note, the jury doesn't really like the "It's a public service" defense, but, it did keep me outta jail. -Oblivious
Update on CommanderData
Hi all, just got off the phone with our beloved CD. She is tired, sore but basically OK. She has been on some serious pain meds & said she felt 'a bit out of it'. She won't be near a PC for a day or two (bed rest for you, young lady!), but Fuzzyom is taking good care of her. Updates will follow as soon as she feels fit enough to do so.[By: lineswine / 2005-01-01]
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wahey! good news. Ah well, with the painkillers, CD's bringing in the new year as out of it as many of us :P -modeski
good to hear that....hope everything turns out ok. Keep us posted. -leonine
Yeah Fuzzy, take good care of OUR woman. Been there before, and trust me, let her sleep as much as she wants. Ignore the crazy shit she says as some of those 'good' painkillers fuck your shit up. Get well sugga. -burrkiss
Thanks for the update, lineswine. CD, rest up! -Tekkie
Thanks, lineswine. Please pass along our well wishes to her if you get the chance. -RiffRaff
Thanks for the update. Pass also my Get Well -wishes if you get the change! -NordicPT
Thanks for the update and send a hug to CD from me. -THETECHFROMHELL
Sending lots of hugs and love and happiness to CD - you rock our world *grin* -teivrann
CD, may '05 be better for you than '04. Cheers! -MadJack
althought I have no clue what happened to our beloved CD, I wish her all the best in a fast speedy recovery -Bunglehawk069
http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?t=1624 for the backstory to all this -lineswine
Very good news. Send her my good wishes, if you get a chance. -Amiga5000
Excellent news! Best wishes for a speedy recovery CD! (HELM - LART Shelter, EMERGENCY WARP!) -Grue
Thanks for the update. Send CD my best the next time you talk to her! -DreadPirate
Clever, Grue! -Tekkie
Best Wishes for a Speedy Recovery! (Also for winning the lottery, so CD can start a starfish assassination firm <BFEG>) -CTYankee
Not really a story - just sitting here at work on a holiday (4 1/2 hours and counting) waiting for the little starfishies to validate their data so I can go home and watch the Hawks and try to salvage part of the day. I'm so incredibly bored and the starfish are so incredibly slow! Insert heavy sigh here...[By: CathyV / 2005-01-01]
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<Inset On>Heavy Sigh<Inset off> - Ok Done.... ;) -Wonko The Sane
Heavy thighs? You talkin' about me? -robbor
I always get a touch nervious when SF go on a rant like this. I get an unnerving feeling that they might go to some manager and file a complaint. Mind you, it's not the SF that makes me nervious, it's the supervisor siding with them even though I know I havn't done anything wrong. Anyway, this happened after my asking 6 (yes 6!) times what OS the SF was running (including asking for the color of the start button, which they didn't know, and attempting to get them to "winver"). I openly admit that after reasking the same question for a 3rd time my tone becomes very condesending and I am unable to conceal any frustration I may experiance.
SF: "You ought to be nice to me, you know that. I'm 66 years old after all and you can't be more than 30. No one has ever asked me these questions when I have called in and I don't see why I should have to answer them for you. I have no idea what your talking about and you will need to just be patient with me and ask again. If you can't deal with people like me then you should just quit. You have no buisness being on the phone talking to people like they are stupid."[By: leonine / 2005-01-01]
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"You, on the other hand, have no business trying to use a computer/phone/cable/whatever the hell your problem is when you ARE stupid. But I'm not complaining about that one am I?" -karlata
Just another one of their excuses to get us to heel. If they can't shut up and listen, they should get the fark off the phone until they can. Let them try doing our job and see how long they last. -MadJack
I have the same problem when I have to repeat myself a 3rd, 4th or 5th time. If any human on earth can tolerate this without getting frustrated then I think they must be a robot. -steveO77
Excue me, sir. I didn't realize you are 66. When your computer understands that you are a senior citizen, it should just automatically fix itself. -concept14
"Your computer doesn't care how old you are or what you think about the questions I'm asking you. Getting your computer working depends on the answers to those questions. I want very much to help you, but if you can't follow simple instructions, I can't help you, and that frustrates me. It would frustrate anyone." -NightSteel
Ok, I quit. *click* -itwasntme
I'm sorry you feel that way, sir. However, you must understand that I find it hilarious that a grown man cannot read or recognize simple shapes and colors. Give me your computer and I will throw it away for you. You are obviously too incompetent to even do that. -PhilosopherTek
"And you, sir, have no business committing DWS (Dialing While Stupid). Your breathing license is now subject to revocation." -Grue
My standard comment is "Well, if you can't tell me what version of Windows you are running, then I can't help you. Perhaps you should call back later when you are sure." They either call back or shut up and do what I say, either is good. -caspian
Normally on a holiday we get just a few calls. On Christmas in 7 1/2 hrs I got only 8 calls. But today it's 1 friggin call after another. It doesn't help that the PHB's are now overflowing tier1 calls to tier2. That helps my call times as the tier1 calls are easy and fast but I wanna watch football. Why can't these analistic personalities get a life and leave me alone? [By: atomicbill / 2005-01-01]
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It could be worse. The starfish could be breeding instead of using their computers and calling you. -HidariMak
Haven't had a call all day...dead quiet. I'm going to go hide under a rock in the Lart Shelter now so that no one can shunt calls to me. :p -Darth
You got only 8 calls on Christmas? When every SF is setting up their new PC? Dude, you got lucky. I wonder what the Vid/Tel que was like... btw: do you know if OC has EOD yet? (j/k!) -MadJack
Oh, the possibilities!!
Let them eat starfish!
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/12/27/explorers.ecobot/index.html[By: viennasausage / 2005-01-01]
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It always sort of freaks me out to see technology from SF books appear in reality. -Tekkie
Then there's no hope for you
My supervisor and I were trying to get my boss, who's also my father, to become just a bit comptuer literate. After years of desperate efforts, my supervisor bought him the Video Professor series. We inserted the CD into his computer, and we made sure it played. 30 seconds into the program my father says, "Its too technical." This was just in the introduction, where they talk about what a computer does, what a keyboard does, etc. He didn't even make it to how to use a mouse, etc. I almost killed him.[By: mdver / 2005-01-01]
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O_o eep! -firebird2k2
"OK, Dad - I'll go trade your car and microwave oven for a horse and a toaster oven. After all, since computers are too technical for you, computerized gadgets like those must be too hard for you to figure out!" -Grue
I WANNA NEW FATHER!!!!!! -Veinor
How about a budget first?
We had a LAN of Windows 98 computers served by an NT 4.0 server. We constantly had crashes. My supervisor damanded that I find out exactly why a computer would crash, and what it would take to make sure it would never crash again. I responded that Windows 98 is a buggy operating system, and that there were alternatives available, like NT 4.0 workstation, that didn't crash as often. He responde, "Well, in the comptuers never crash." My response: "Well, we could use Norton Ghost and reimage the comptuers every day." HE responded, "What's Ghost?" I explained it to him. He told me that we couldn't do that because the other users wouldn't be able to save their preferences from day to day. These preferences included backgrounds and viruses. This was before spyware was a major thing.[By: mdver / 2005-01-01]
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Security? What's that?
I was head of IT for a company that tested new drugs on animals to make sure they were safe. The Food and Drug Administration has stringent regulation regarding computers in this regard. So, I read up on the regulations. Of course, I found that my supervisor, who was responsible for installing the LAN, violated just about every regulation that was relevant. Particularly, there was this concept called Access Control, which means that you don't let every idiot install any POS software on the computers that they want. I explained to the boss the concept of internal security, and how we would have to put on passwords. (Background: the LAN came with Windows 98 and NT 4.0 server. Everyone was given the same user name and password, and there was no mandatory access control established or logging set up, meaning any idiot could delete everything on the LAN, including safety and financial data, and noone would be able to determine who did what.) He responded that he trusted all the employees. I told him that 80% of all corporate hacks were done internally. It didn't faze him. I went over his head and was allowed to set up user names and passwods for everyone. However, they still wouldn't change the OS on the computers, so I would literally have to go into the dunguen (a very poorly lit closet under the main stairwell where the server was kept, which by the way, had the electricity wired against all legal electrical codes (and served as my office)) and hand out passwords to everyone. According to FDA regulations, I wasn't allowed to know other people's passwords, but Windows 98 doesn't allow people to change their server passwords like the NT series does, which we should have in the first place if my supervisor had known what he was doing. I kept repeating every few months to anyone in authority about how we were in violation of Federal law. Finally, a couple years go by and we get inspected by FDA. They called me in to explain the computer systems. I told them the truth because I didn't want to do IT work in prison. At the end of the inspection, the inspectors called everyone in, including myself, to explain their findings. They told management to do every single thing I had been telling management to do for the last couple of years. A couple of months later we got Windows 2000 server, Windows XP Pro, a real firewall (to be explained in another story), and a real password policy.[By: mdver / 2005-01-01]
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This just proves the old saying: Document, document, DOCUMENT. -Calydor
no, not document, CYA! -RandalGraves
Oh whee. FDA computer validation. been there - don't want to go back. I'm surpised they let you off so lightly, they gave me shit upon shit on a Unix system. Which was about as secure as a Unix system can get (though we couldn't prove C2 security because of the workstations ) -jedidiahstott
Damn... great story.. one lil tiny bone to pick... you have a star, (and the "HUGE ASS" it causes) so please, FORMAT -HappyCrappy
mdver probably got the star after this post. I noticed that stars show up on old posts. -linuxmatt
Happy New Year
Starts out slow, picks up later in convo, I love my job
ME: opening bs
SF: i talked to someone and they told me to buy a network card since my cd was not letting me instal service, and i bought one and its still giving me the same error
ME: did you run the cd instalation of the network card
SF: no, it came with a floppy disk
ME: ok, lets go to device manager
ME: read down the list for me
<SF reading, me not hearing anything about network card, and no yellow! or redX>
ME: Sir, did you put the network card in your computer?
ME: could you go ahead and do that please
<SF putting card in computer>
ME: did anything come up on the screen?
SF: new hardware wizard
ME: ok, lets let windows find the driver, and make sure you check the box that says floppy
SF: ok, it says could not instal new hardware, should i have put that floppy disk in the drive
ME: Yeah, you probably should do that, and go ahead and hit back
SF: ok, it says ready to install
as soon as i finish writing this, i am gonna go smoke a cig, i need it
Happy New Year everyone, GOOD LUCK!!! [By: darkemotion / 2005-01-01]
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Yes, I have this car but it doesn't run. I was told it needed gas. I put gas in, but it still doesn't run. Should I do something with this key-thingy? -Captain Trips
Ye gods, you don't know how lucky you were. I didn't see you tell him to turn his computer off... and I know many SF would simply pop the covers and insert the net card in a running PC... and then blame the tech because the tech had not told them to turn it off!!! -chazz
AOL is the cure!
Me: I'm sorry, but when you have 20 users on a single dial-up connection, things are going to be slow. However, for a measly $35.00 a month, we can get DSL.
SF: Why don't we just get 5 AOL accounts? That would speed things up on the modem, wouldn't it?[By: mdver / 2005-01-01]
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Wouldn't a starfish joining AOL be its own LART though? -HidariMak
ban that Luser from all computers and euthanize his poor computer... -RandalGraves
If that computer is still running it's worth keeping. Euthanize the starfish. -itwasntme
Use "bean-counter logic" this way: 5 AOL accounts at $24.95 a month, or 1 DSL account at $35.00 a month. Which is cheaper -- $124.75 or $35? -Captain Trips
This is from last night.
Get a call from our first line help desk 2 minutes before I leave. Seems Site V is having a problem with their End of Period process (kinda like an end of day, but run at the end of the month).
I'm told that the process has hung & several reports have not printed. So I dial in and root around the system for about 20 minutes looking for the problem. Everything looks fine, so I get the site info and get down to the phone number & am given a 505 area code. Weird thing is, my records show a 580 area code. So, I ask if it has been changed.
The other tech checks with the site to be certain and returns with, "This is Site K!"
"Yeah, heh, sorry 'bout that!"
Must. Control. Rage. Contract. Under. Review...
So then, I dial in to the correct site, find the problem and it takes me another hour and a half to get it fixed.
So, I'm at work an hour & 45mins past what I should be & it's New Year's Eve. Super.
[By: Darth / 2005-01-01]
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Dude. I hear ya on that one. Only my particular hell is populated with "editors" and "writers" and "publishing teams". If there's a holiday, I can be assured of not receiving a full night's sleep, as one of these groups WILL escalate their issue to me, and I WILL be paged. I suppose it also comes as no surprise that I've been applying for anything that looks like I might have a snowball's chance in hell at being hired for. -snowcrash
Hey everyone, I'm kind of new to this site, as well as to the internet call center world in general...I've figured most of it out, but I'll be damned if I know what LART means. Could someone please explicate?[By: PhilosopherTek / 2005-01-01]
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For elucidation, grasshopper, read the BOFH archives at http://www.theregister.co.uk . But for now, it's a Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool. And remember, "The 'L' in 'Luser' is silent!" -ralphp1024
It IS?! Gee, that explains a lot! -Mango
welcome to the dark side of the force... -RandalGraves
For further elucidation, especially on terminology particluar to TSC check out http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?t=425 -K1W1
and read Digital Dogcow's posts, never laffed so hard in my life, especally the one titled "Special guest LART: Stan Laurel" story 10, currently, almost needed a ventilator after that one :) Welcome to your new home m8. -Armakuni
Welcome to the site... any questions, whiteboard me -HappyCrappy
Moron or idiot? Yes.
Me: [opening spiel] Are you calling about a new or an existing issue?
Me: Let's try that again. Have you called us about this issue recently, or is this your first time contacting us about it?
Me: Yes, you have contacted us about this matter recently already? Or yes, this is the first time you're phoning us about this?
In hindsight, I should have just asked "So do you have nothing to discuss, or should I hang up anyways?" It's too early in my shift for this.[By: HidariMak / 2005-01-01]
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"Are you going to shoot yourself, or just commit suicide?" -namor
The asians do this. Yes means "Yes I hear you asking a question" not "The answer to your question is yes". Westerners get very confused when this happens (and angry too). -Gerund
I've had that. Charming chaps from abroad who have been taught that saing "no" or "I don't understand" is so terribly terrbily rude. So you get "yes" everytime you ask them a question. *headdesk* -Watfordian
To a lot of SF, it also means "Yes, I understand you; but I'm not going to answer your supposed question unless you ask me directly, because I'm just that kind of asshole." -MadJack
Hey, at least it's in English! Too often I have calls like this: Me-So, what happens when you turn on the register? Manager- Jess. Me-Yes? The screen says the word "Yes?" Manager-It no work, you fix? -Captain Trips
Shrek and Computers
Seems to me that even those of us who have been doing tech support for a long time are just losing patience with the ingnorance of the SF that are just now getting computers for the first time.
Here's how a typical call is now going at our call center (for the overnight shift anyway)
Tech: Thanks for calling how may I help you?
SF: I just got me a new cumputter and it isn't working.
Tech: Is this computer connected to the DSL box?
Tech: And there are no routers between the PC and DSL?
...50 minutes later...
SF: Oh we just got this new wireless router. Would that make it not connect?
Tech: [mute]GROAN YES YOU MORON![/mute] Yes please unplug that and then plug it back in. And when I asked you at the beginning of this call you said the PC was plugged directly into the DSL. When you call in please tell us there is a router on it!
SF: It is working [click]
Tech: Please just shoot me now!
And when we determine it is an issue we don't support. Believe us! And don't even think of trying to shop for a newbie tech at night! Since we all sit within a small area and actually talk about this stuff between calls!
And how does Shrek fit into this post?
Tech: I am not an ogre!
[By: DoctorTech / 2005-01-02]
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No DT, you're not an ogre - you're an ogre in training... Wreque is the one true ogre. We should all be taking lessons from him on Shrekiness. ;-P -Pax
You guys will miss me when you get me "FIRED!!" Now that you have the big guys attention.. I swear, if I'm on a call and I happen to stand up.. He's at the door watching me.. (paranoia strikes).. -imawreque
The Big guy just loves your entertainment value! 8*)) -DoctorTech
Now, now Doctor, your ire is misdirected. It would be far better to shoot the (l)user and thus prevent further irritation and assault charges from other techs. -Mathias
"Ogres?! Hey, I got an Orge-slaying Knife, it's got a +9 against Ogres!!" </dead alewives> -AmazingKreskin
How big IS it?
Ok, still waiting on the financing to come back from the bank... I didn't lie in answer to any of the questions that they asked, and the paperwork is just proof that I told the truth, so why does it take multiple weeks to get the paperwork done? *cry* I WANNA NEW HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE!
Shaz: Once I was the King of Spain, Now I take trouble calls...
EU: My scanner is broken!
Shaz: Hm, I see. This is technical support for your internet connection. Would you like me to provide the contact number for your scanner?
EU: They told me to call you.
Shaz: *sits in silence for 20 seconds waiting for the customer to offer some kind of excuse for their existence... Realize that they aren't going to* Sooo, why did they refer you to us?
EU: How should I know? I don't do tech support for a living.
Shaz: Well, since I don't provide tech support for scanners for a living either, we're at somewhat of an impasse unless you can describe what issue is occurring or at least hint at why the people who should be supporting your hardware have instructed you to contact me.
EU: Honey, I didn't understand half of what you just said.
Shaz: *I hate when they call me honey, but it is nice to be reminded that I can speak in English and make them think I'm speaking Latin* All right, what is it doing?
EU: It won't send a document that I scanned.
Shaz: Ah, so the scanner won't send the document as an attachment on email?
EU: Yeah, it won't send.
Shaz: *I don't think the EU actually understood what I asked, but they uttered an affirmative, so on we go* Ok, is that scanning software launching outlook or outlook express?
EU: My email.
Shaz: *I'm bored with this person, and I'm pretty sure I know the issue, so I don't care* and what error message is it giving.
Shaz: It just hangs?
Shaz: It just sits there trying to send the message and never gives you an error message?
Shaz: Hmm, how big is the document you are trying to send?
EU: Just a couplathree pages or so.
Shaz: Ok, so how big is the file you're trying to send?
EU: just a few pages.
Shaz: Is it bigger than 5 megs?
EU: No, it's only 4 pages.
Shaz: Ok, I understand how many pages you have said the document is. *well aware that the EU is lying about that as well* How big is the FILE that you are trying to send to our mail servers?
EU: 4 pages.
Shaz: Ok, how big is the file that contains those 4 scanned in pages?
EU: I don't know. It's just 4 pages. I just want to send them so I can get devorced!
Shaz: Well, I'd love to help you *less chance of breeding if you're single...* How big is the file you're trying to send?
EU: I don't know, how big is one page?
Shaz: I don't know either, I don't support scanners, so I don't have that information. Do you think the file might be more than 5 megs in size?
EU: Is 4 pages more than 5 mags?
Shaz: Potentially, it depends on the quality that you use to scan it.
EU: These are legal documents, so I used the highest quality it would let me.
Shaz: Well, there's the problem, the files you are trying to attach are too large. Try reducing the size of the files and then sending them.
EU: How do I do that?
Shaz: Sorry, I can't provide technical support in that field. I would suggest looking online, possibly using a search engine or looking in forums.
EU: Can you tell me when the file is small enough to send?
Shaz: *knowing full well that she is asking me to stay on the phone while she screws around with her scanner* Our mail servers will accept anything up to 5 megs at once. You would need to look at the file when you attach it to see how big it is.
EU: Jeeze, this is too hard, I'm just gonna mail these.
Shaz: You do that. *starts humming "Istanbul"*
From what band/song is the opening here coined? =P [By: Shazzai / 2005-01-02]
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hmmm, they mention <spelling flame wall erected>Constantinople</spelling flame wall erected> in that song somewhere, but as far as band or song name, ya got me. -gr4p34p3
Furious Moxy, King of spain. http://www.lyricsbox.com/fruvous-moxy-lyrics-king-of-spain-tv3kncq.html -madonnac
Actually the group is called Moxy Fruvous. From Toronto. -ProfessorFrink
A4 Page = 11.5 * 8 inches = 92 sqr inches -Wonko The Sane
at 9600 dpi 1 Sqp inch = 9600 * 9600 * 3 (Full colour) bytes. = 276,480,000 -Wonko The Sane
276,480,000 * 96 = 25.135 GB per page -Wonko The Sane
oops - maybe I should copy and paste.... and the size? 92 sq in,*2400dpi (advertised resolution of most scanners)=505Mb per page -madonnac
4 Pages = 98.87 GBytes - a little over your 5 Mb limit, and will 'lockup' Outlook for quite a while just to convert it into mime format - a 40Mb test at work took 5 mins just to convert to Mime format before trying to sent to the exchange server... -Wonko The Sane
Yes the optical of most scanners is 2400, but a starfish will set it to the highest possible, and most offer 9600, some offer higher.... -Wonko The Sane
Wouldn't be "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" by They Might Be Giants, would it? -ElPolloDiablo
<Starfish>Naw, It couldn't be....That's too odvious.</Starfish> and it makes sense, you were using an abbreviation for a word that overflows the input buffer of most starfish (Megabyte is about4 letters not related to food or drink too long.). -Twike
"*less chance of breeding if you're single...*" -- Don't count on that! She and her husband were probably too bored or hostile with each other to have sex, but now she'll be playing the field. -concept14
Hang in there with the house deal. It took about 30 days for me and my wife to close on the house we bought. There's a lot of paperwork that needs to be done by the real estate agent, mortgage broker, and attorney handling the closing of the sale between buyer and seller. -cecil36
(add MF back into my work playlist) Too bad the band broke up; they were lot's of fun in concert. ;) -docbrown01
And let's not forget about makeup sex or the nights when ex wife is lonely/drunk/horny and ex husband is...well, a guy. -Mathias
except that for techs, the second line should be "...now I *SERVE* Humble Pie!" Cool music, and clever. Could piss off those of a more conservative nature, though -CTYankee
Shazz, great to see another Moxy Fruvous fan here! -SalParadise
A New Record
This has to be a new record! Yesterday I was cleaning up my old computer that I had given to my sister after she began complaining that is was so slow and wouldn't run some programs. After deleting no less than 8 toolbars I downloaded and ran Ad Aware, it found 1213 Critical Objects. I couldn't believe it when she hit 350, but 1213 left me sitting there with my mouth open.
Have I set a record or does anyone have a higher number?[By: Noncenx / 2005-01-02]
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the answer is no. -kennz
Highest I've seen in person was around 950. Though, I'd not be surprised if someone on TSC has seen much higher. -firebird2k2
Hmmm.... I haven't ever seen that high. I think my best mark was a bank pc I teched that as around 800 or so found by Ad-Aware. Spybot did find another 100 after that though. -gr4p34p3
I didn't see it personally, but our tech support department has a screenshot of one that's over 4000, IIRC. -NightSteel
Over 4000? Wow, I only have had 2500 ... and that machine was crawling along! Pfft, teenagers should not be allowed to use computers :P -Mysty
One computer that is used by a business had over 1500 objects detected. Sometimes the fishies should be told to leave computers alone until they know and understand the consequences of using the Internet. -cecil36
i have a screen shot from my schools computer rounding 1200 before finishing..forgot the total -neuman1812
I've seen (well heard) 4000. Had a coworker who had to direct the caller to run adaware from the command line but the machine would not load the gui. The hard drive was literally full of spyware. The scan results? 36,000.
Of course a lot of that was cookies. -drbtx1
11,000 (eleven thoursand) on my brother's PC. Many toolbars and other crud. IE Cache was set at 1gb and full of 'stuff'. Took hours to fix. -Starfury
3500++ once, on a Hell computer :) -slowANDeasy
Ad aware counts tracking cookies as "critical objects" -Lehk
22573. And yes ... the PC was still crawling along. The user was on Dial-Up so he didnt know the difference. -Necros
Contact Guiness, I think we have a new record! -Jonos
On my sister's 6 month old DELL, Between AVG antivirus, Spybot S&D and Ad-Aware I found over 3500 spyware objects and 127 virii and trojans.. and yes she had 4 different search bars.. and she wondered why her DSL modem was so hot.... It was basically transfering data constantly. And even with AOL's <quote>Spwyare Protection</quote> installed on there... -kryliss
Our shop record's 2000 - And i thought that was excessive! -trs998
I had a 5200 winner once. I wanted to take a screen shot, but there was no way Paint was going to open to save it out. -RePo
Our shop record is 15,000. I can't believe there are folks who have seen more than that. Why are these machines running at all? -Mathias
Over 12000 on a WinMe machine a few months ago. -ch41nbr8kr
1500 on an older laptop using a dialup connection, the thing was slow to begin with and it slowed to a crawl online and then dropped the connection. -Flexo
LOL thats nothing, Friend of a friend is a porn freak, Calls me because his system is taking 10 minutes to boot. After finally booting in to XP and managing to access his ISP after multiple login attempts we d/l and run Adaware. It found 3397. Most I've ever seen, Adaware kept locking up when trying to quarantine the entries. Ended up having to wipe and reinstall. :( Gotta love sf's. -HellTekk
Record I've seen is 2700+. I'm amazed the box ran. -CTYankee
At my last company we had a record with Adaware 6 of 37925 items ... out of 82000 items scanned. -Inphinity
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