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Tech Stories Archives - March 2005
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1.
I'm tired
Once a month, I do an overnight shift where we do our end of month. Mind you, I'm normally a 7 - 4 person, and right now, my body is pretty sure I should be asleep at home curled up next to my handsome Southern gentleman. (It's 1:18 am here in Tampa) I'm trying to keep myself awake, and hopefully, I'll only be here another hour. But I'm not looking forward to the 45 minute drive home. [By: TechieSidhe / 2005-03-01]
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Well, at least you don't have snow to drive through! You don't get snow in Florida, right? -robbor
Thank $DEITY no! I'd end up pulling up a patch of floor here at the office. - TechieSidhe
robbor, You don't get snow in Florida, right, but we consider it an even trade becasue we don't get sunshine in Manchester!......hey!....wait....... -Digital Dogcow
Digi two words "sky plow" -virusjtg
DD what is this sunshine of which you speak, surely you do not mean the white elephant called natural light, nay tis just a myth, we don't get that in the North :) -Armakuni
DD & Arma, there used to be a TV show here that involved a cop being transferred to a remote northern outpost. He found his predecessor's notebook and saw the info "9:02 - 2:51" and such. "What's this?" he asked. People told him, "Sunrise and sunset times. He had a thing for that. Never could get the hang of so much darkness." -Jay911
Well here in South England we got no snow and no sunshine either - rain, now, rain we got. -CommanderData
In Wisconsin we got Sun AND Snow, but I would be happy if it was warm enough to rain (right now its 25 degrees F) -Flexo
Go Go Gadget Global Warming. This is so far a very mild winther here in the South East USA, and I'm loving it. Now the tree pollen in Febuary on the other hand I could do with out. -virusjtg
winter not winther. Back to school for spelling classes I guess -virusjtg
We're having an unreasonably warm and dry winter, here in traditionally-rainy Portland. (The one on the left coast, thanks.) It probably means severe water rationing come summer, though... bah. I wanna new rainstorm! (Or something.) -GreyDuck
San Diego! Need I say more? -atomicbill
The man from Phoenix asks..."What is this snow you speak of??" -sajwaite
The man from Casa Grande who got stuck in the north says: "Snow sucks!" -Amiga5000
Damn, no sun--almost all rain? Sounds like here...wait...is Seattle now part of the UK? -snowcrash
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2.
So a baby seal walks into a club...
Well... that 'monster' snow storm in the northeast last night panicked upper management into reserving a block of $180 a night rooms at the hotel next door last night. The morning shift workers were asked to pull a double yesterday to cover the night people that called out. The night people get to work the double this morning covering the day people who called out today.
All this for the 3 inches of monster snow storm we got. At least my manager bought me a few drinks last night.
[By: torgo / 2005-03-01]
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All this excitement over three inches. I don't see the point, for snow or for anything else. -teivrann
LOL @ teivrann! I'd almost think you'd met my first husband. ;) -Tekkie
Tekkie: You are in violation of the Too Much Information Act of 1976. Please step away from the keyboard and keep your hands visible. BOTH OF THEM! -EvilOtto
Met my wife's ex one time early on. He (being the consunmate jerk) asked how I liked that used stuff. I told him it was great once you got past that inch of "used". That boy had a real short fuse! -ecoli
So Tekkie, does that mean your ex walks both sides of the fence? - There go the demographics! lol -teivrann
If we got 3 inches of snow down here, the whole city would shut down. Heck, screw that. If we got ONE inch of snow, the whole city would shut down. Afterall, we only get snow about once a decade here. -kman52000
ecoli--"real short fuse"--heh heheheheheh -Owie
kman, 2 words: Christmas 2004. -Answerboy
Snow? What's that? Here in Sandy Eggo, the only snow we see is in small lines, and disappears up someone's nose as soon as it is seen. -Captain Trips
3 inches of snow is nothing....nothing, business as usual, but then again, i do live in the great white north and do not freak out and close nearly everything when a few inches fall! -RandalGraves
Try delivering pizza in 9 inches of snow for 12 hours... I'd rather 9 inches than 3... cuz with 9 inches, NO ONE ELSE is on the road. With 3 inches, people are still driving like it's fucking June. -EagleEye
Someone give ecoli the "I Rock!" award for the day. -Amiga5000
Here in MA you dont cancel nuthin' till 12" fall -neuman1812
ecoli: Nice one! (Puts me in mind of a George Carlin moment: "Have a good one!" "I already have a good one; now I'm looking for a /longer/ one!") -GreyDuck
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3.
Feel sorry for M$ support
Seriosly, I feel currently sorry for ppl working in M$ Support. All our public email inboxes have been hit by an email with spoofed sender: support@microsoft.com. Mail says there is a security issue with Windows, causing a possible loss of all data in hard disk. Issue is fixed if you install the patch in the attached file. However, the file is nothing but a virus which - if I have understood right - will wipe your h/d. Our virusprotection software naturally cought that, but I'm just thinking off all the SFs out there running the "patch".. and then they call MS raising hell. [By: NordicPT / 2005-03-01]
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Yeah, we've been getting that one here as well. I've reminded my users that Microsoft doesn't know the email address of every Windows user in the world and never, ever emails patches cuz it's up to us to use Windows Update. Some get it, some are clueless as normal but so far no one has clicked on it. -Tekkie
I haven't see this one, but I wouldn't warn my users ahead of time for anything in the world. As soon as I say don't do something, it's the first thing they do. -sassicatz
Several of us had an email this morning showing as "System Administrator" with Subject: "Undeliverable" and even in Outlook it has the icon that appears that you had something kicked back. I ALMOST fell for it... except that I hadn't sent any email in about 14 hours and it was showing a time stamp of 1 am. Checked the headers and even that was EXTREMELY close to my actual email address. Even with that, the message still appeared to have come from inside our network. Our anti-virus had caught the attachment and nuked it, but did not notify us or anything. -CelticSkyhawk
Y'know, sometimes I wonder if the VXers could get away with just a link that reads "Click here if you're a fucking retard". -Digital Dogcow
But there IS a security problem with Windoze! -Veinor
Windows is a security problem all by itself. -Torinir
There is that FBI one too...getting calls on that are fun. "No sir, the FBI isn't monitoring your connection. Yes, tin foil is very 'sporty.'" *click* -Psudo
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4.
Law of chance repealed! (NT/OT)
WARNING: Before reading the rest of this story, put down any food or drinks you may have.
These all happened in the SAME game of indoor kickball:- One of the players kicks the ball. It hits the basketball backboard, jumps up almost vertically, and goes IN the hoop.
- Another player, A.A. (his real initials!), kicks the ball, and it lands wedged between the exposed ductwork and the ceiling.
- The same player A.A. is also running, and the ball is flying towards him. So he ducks and trips, and the ball goes right where his head was.
- Finally, one of the players is running, and almost at the home base, when a ball hits the wall, hits her, hits the wall, etc., until she hits the wall, at which point the ball is wedged between her and the wall
Note my use of my star powers![By: Veinor / 2005-03-01]
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Crazy. We were chatting in the office one day when someone dropped a 50 pence piece. It rolled along the floor, turned exactly 90 degrees and disappeared into a crack in the skirting so tight that we couldn't get it out. -rurwin
i hate balls. it always goes straight to my face. no amount of ducking helps. -saentkil
Wicked use of star powers. It's only the constant exercise of said powers that prevents our stellar butts from expanding to unmanageable proportions. -teivrann
For those of us across the lake: skirting? -Veinor
"i hate balls. it always goes straight to my face. no amount of ducking helps." Can I PLEASE comments on this??? -burrkiss
burrkiss, you can comment on that one but not a word about the coin that rolled into the skirt(ing) and disappeared in a tight crack. -Tekkie
Yeah, the "skirting/tight crack" comment belongs to me! Ha! Okay, here we go: rurwin, can you get me that girl's number? :) -Amiga5000
Skirting == baseboards. What do I win? -LoTech
DEFINITION: Skirting - horizontal timber strip covering the joint between wall and floor. Kind of like coving but at floor level. Kerrist knows what you colonials call it.... -Gromit
Now you know, Gromit! -LoTech
...and knowing is Half The Battle! </G.I. Joooooeee!!!!> -Amiga5000
WARNING: Raw sewage detected in the minds of Burkiss and Amiga. :-p -Torinir
Dammit, burrkiss! Getcher own raw sewage! It doesn't grow on trees, you know. Sheesh. -Amiga5000
Gromit - Baseboards = skirting. -Harm
<adds new entry to american-english dictionary> Thanks guys. Now, could someone tell me what the hell kickball is? From context, I gather it's sort of baseball, but you kick the ball - Am i right? -Shaede
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5.
Mac creator dies
For those who haven't heard, Jef Raskin, the creator of the first Apple Mac, has passed on. From the BBC: ( http://tinyurl.com/55hox )[By: missourimule / 2005-03-01]
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I am so going to get nailed for this one. But, as some one firmly in the anti Apple camp, any news on Mr. Jobbs' health? *He breaces for his LARTing* -virusjtg
I've never used a Mac myself, although some of my first computer classes back in Middle School were on Apple IIc's and IIe's. (My first class used Atari 400's.) Oh, and it's Jo*b*'s with one "b". :D -missourimule
Actually its a little misleading to call him the creator of the first Mac, his input was considerable, but the Mac truly was a team effort. Although he definitely was responsible for much of the pioneering work developed by Apple from the ashes of XPARC that lead directly to the GUI's we ALL use today, irrespective of platform. I've often thought it very sad that Raskin never got the credit he deserved. Along with Steve 'The Woz' Wozniak, I rate him as one of the greatest pioneers and forward thinkers of our age. (and its no coincidence that both of these guys were IMHO shit on by Steve Jobs from an almighty hight!). -Digital Dogcow
and I stand corrected, Thank you -virusjtg
I was about to say ... 1/2 of the apple development team ( Raskin / Woz )is gone ... but the fscking MAC continum only recognizes their fscking sales guy --- Steve Jobs -Necros
Kinda like the U.S.A. celebrating Independance Day on July fourth (the day that the PRESS RELEASE was signed) instead of July second (the day that the vote actually took place.) -LoTech
The creator of the first true GUI gone.... -CommanderData
Well, LoTech, the fourth is the day we *announced* our independance from Britain. Signing some document (even one as important as this one) in private means nothing if you don't let the party it's directed to/against know about it. We could have decided the second we landed on what is now American soil that we are an independant nation, but until we notified Britian, as far the world was concerned, we were still a British colony. The fourth is the day we officially declared our independance by telling Britian and the world about it, and that is what we're celebrating, IMHO. -missourimule
the WIMP environment was in use on XPARC's system....Steve "the robber" Jobs ripped the idea wholesale from there. -lineswine
Nah, Nice flamebait Micky, but Jef Raskin himself told a far different story. http://tinyurl.com/46xub -Digital Dogcow
not to mention the Declaration actually wasn't signed until MONTHS after July 4th... -MuppetCoat
Doh! wrong page but Raskins reply to Bruce Horn is linked at the bottom of that page. They're both well worth reading -Digital Dogcow
Also anti-Apple but with good cause having been a pro 3rd party programmer on the Apple ][ platform and gotten the telephone pole schtupping without the reacharound. However that being said, it is unfortunate that this man is gone. It will be bleaker still when Woz passes. It could not be anything but happy happy joy joy when Jobs kicks the bitbucket. -suitepotato
I'm sorry to hear of Jef's passing, but (he says, strapping his LART Shelter Rocket Pack onto his back) for the record: Jay Miner could kick his ass in a fight. :-P -Amiga5000
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6.
and I didn't even take this call
My bud Pat took a call and the customer wanted to know if instant messanges he would send with AIM are more expensive them the ones he would send in the US.[By: wildchild / 2005-03-01]
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Yes, cost is inversely proportional to the number of IQ points of the user. -teivrann
step AWAY from the keyboard, sir. You have been found to be too stupid to propigate, stand still and it'll be over in a second. *click* <pls, no commnets on teh spleling.> -Psudo
*BLAM* -Psudo
Yes, although the value of AOL IM's have decreased in recent years. In England I believe five pounds can buy nine IM's. -TheJman
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7.
Cats land on their feet...
...but fish tend to flop around gasping for water until they make it into a pond. At least, that's what happened to me.
Thanks to the anonymous person who donated the star, it makes my tailfin look big, but it's worth it. After my truly awful day at the call-mill, I came to a few realizations:
1) Good customer support and enforced call times are mutually exclusive.
2) If I cannot help the end user for any reason (call times, user is a blithering mollusk, etc.) My stress levels go through the roof.
3) I like generic diet cola.
So I quit the next day, and began looking for new employment, hence my absense from this site. Hither! Yon! Even further than Yon!
I managed to flop into a job at a video game store, who couldn't wait to hire me. It's a really great job, lots of fun, great coworkers and my boss is awesome. Pay's not that great, but, it's enough to sustain while I continue searching for a better place to swim.
Thanks everyone for being here, and special thanks to Phuq and that anonymous someone that helped make my crappy day into a really damn good one after all.[By: CarbonTetra / 2005-03-01]
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Well you went back to my old job, wait till u get the bratty kids and yuppie parents, good luck. -RandalGraves
Good luck on the search!! -Psudo
Study the video game rental bible: http://www.actsofgord.com -maciarc
Hey DDUUDDEE!! Do you like Counter-Strike? Cause I love Counter-Strike. </rob from ctrl-alt-del> -jard
Generic cola rocks! I don't feel bad for drinking eight to 12 cans a day, when I'm only paying $4.00 a flat for it... :) -Amiga5000
Do I spot a new Gord? -CommanderData
Nice arse. Omg Gord II - The Wrath of CarbonTetra! -modeski
You're welcome. Glad it helped and welcome back. Don't be a stranger. -A4e4f4e
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming <Finding Nemo> -K1W1
As to point number 1, remember NASA's lesson: "Faster, Better, Cheaper: pick two!" -Captain Trips
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8.
Where's Blindtech?
Hi All, I, and a few other people have been wondering what has happened to Blindtech as he hasn't posted much in a while. Well I whiteboarded him and here is his reponse:
"really? i haven't been doing much. i've been busting my ass for a tech job and that is where all my conssintration is going. let the site know i'm around and read from time to time, but just can't make it out as much. I miss my tech fam and hope to be back soon. thanks for checking on me."
blindtech
Glad your still with us BT :) [By: Armakuni / 2005-03-01]
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Armakuni, you are a dear for checking on BT & giving us an update. Thank you! -Tekkie
That's cool. Ifiguredthatsomebodymadeacommentlikethisanditfriedhiscomputer. <BFEG> -RiffRaff
canwehaveakitten canwehaveakitten canwehaveakitten <BFEG> -VIPERsssss
Hey Riff, have you still got that recording? -Tekkie
That's cool. IfiguredthatsomebodymadeacommentlikethisanditfriedBlindTech. <divesforLARTshelter> -Ulfgaard
Viper, you got it wrong. It goes like this: Can wedge attack a Tiffany? Can wedge attack a Tiffany? Can wedge attack a Tiffany? -Mango
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10.
The joys of email – Part II
Having cleared the 500+ emails and stopped the mailserver I analysed the input and discovered that some cretin at one of their suppliers had sent out a product bulletin by mistake to their entire mailing list. OK, oooops but no big deal. BUT most of the recipients promptly REPLIED to it with a WTF, without looking closely at the way the email was sent. This meant that ALL recipients received EVERY reply from EVERYONE that replied! Then it got really silly…. The perpetrator of the outrage then sent out an apology USING THE SAME METHOD (!) but with a receipt request attached. Yup, you’ve guessed it – another fucking deluge of emails to every recipient. By the time I’d cleared my customers Inbox and mail queues, set up a rule to dump all emails with a certain keyword in the subject, and phoned the aforementioned cretin and told her (it had to be, didn’t it!) to STOP SENDING ANY MORE FUCKING APOLOGIES it was 2 hours later. Ah, well – it’s a living….
[By: Gromit
/ 2005-03-01 ]
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Did you offer to demonstrate the problem to the supplier <eg> experience, best teacher et al -Armakuni
You sure we don't work in the same place Gromit? We had someone hose the server earlier doing something similar. -CommanderData
When I was in college, some idiot decided to send out a mass email using the college's server. Apparently he never heard of the BCC: header. I was unlucky enough to be on this list. I was deluged with people complaining to the entire list that they didn't subscribe, and wanted off. Of course, everyone was replying to everyone. I sent my own mail to the IT admins (without everyone's addresses) asking them to turn off SMTP relay. They promptly did. I was happy that the admins acted quickly, but was dismayed that most of the people in my college, which at the time ranked in the top 50 in the U.S. News and World Report's college rankings, were Starfish. -mdver
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11.
The joys of email – Part I
A call came into Mission Control yesterday morning from one of my regulars: “Help! We’re being inundated with emails and they’re clogging our system up!” Being unable to get any more sense out of her (no change there, then) I agreed to get to her ASAP, put the phone down and looked out of the window. Bugger – 4 inches of white shit covering everything and my neighbours struggling to clear a way out of the cul-de-sac wherein Gromit Towers is situated. No problem – Gromit resorts to the Kenco method of snow-clearance…. DEFINITION: the Kenco Method – say “Fuck it”, make a fresh brew of coffee, sit back and catch up on TSC whilst drinking it and wait for the neighbours to clear all the snow from the road. Works every time… An hour later I drive serenely off (Saab in Winter mode, smug bastard at the wheel) and arrive at the customer’s offices to find the most ludicrous email situation I’ve ever encountered… [By: Gromit
/ 2005-03-01 ]
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"Kenco Method" That one is going in the excuse book :) Nice one Gromit. -Armakuni
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12.
Luser Manager
Don't know if this was mentioned before but I was cleaning a virus off a win xp machine and one of the steps required going into winnt/system32 and deleting 2 files. So I find the file and the file directly next to it is LUSRMGR.MSC after a long day at work and then to put up with this starfish's neeping I just started laughing hysterically when I saw this on the screen. Local User Manager, I wonder if microsoft abbreviated it this way on purpouse.[By: DAKE / 2005-03-01]
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I'll give my right nut for a decent Luser Manager *spies Clue x 4 under desk* Oops! Nevermind. Got one right here... -Amiga5000
I'll give his left nut for a decent Luser Manager! -Tekkie
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13.
Our company
dont have a lot of time for commentary, but this happened to our company : http://www.timesdaily.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050226/NEWS/502260330&SearchID=73200650576506 . Damn.[By: Phssstpok / 2005-03-01]
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regisration? registration? we dont need no stinkin registration!!! whats up with that? -ViciousPenguin
They will never have my details BWAHAHAH -Armakuni
Shit--that's tough! Any prospects for work in your future? -vacuumtubes
http://www.mailinator.com -LaserGuru
www.bugmenot.com
-jard
... I hope that wasn't your company - if it was then good luck with the job search. I hope everyone will be able to get their pay. -jard
... and by re-reading the title it looks like it is. I guess I should read the WHOLE post before replying -jard
Fuck that! I aint signing up there, item 6.5 in the Subscriber agreement is "You are now a conscript of the Northwest Alabama Millitia! -Digital Dogcow
Eesh! Good luck, dude.... -Grue
Sorry about the registration page, but you can forge the whole thing and it'll work. No need to receive a confirmation email to activate the account. Basically, the 45 people that work at our location were terminated with no notice literally overnight. People with a truck came in the night and removed the computers and the phones. I'd been there 4 years, 1 month, and 5 days. I really liked that job <sob>. -Phssstpok
Thanks for the synopsis, Phssstpok. So sorry to hear that aliens beamed up your workplace. Is anyone still around to approve your unemployment benefits? It's nice that you liked your job but think about how scary it is that you worked for a place that disappeared overnight, literally! P.S. Were you able to retrieve any personal effects you had in the building? -Tekkie
I can't believe that a company would go Baltimore Colts on you. Best wishes P. -TheJman
Oh man! that blows. Fuckers. I hope whoever signed off on that shafting gets exactly whats coming to 'em. I hope things pick up for you soon! -Digital Dogcow
ScrewYou@Mailinator.COM - p/w wirehead . Use this if you want to check. BTW - Thanks for the Mailinator link! -ralphp1024
That really sucks, Phssstpok. Good luck with your job search. -sassicatz
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14.
it's dead jim....it's DEAD
Lady was xfered to have me check her machine out. She just renewed her dialup account and she has not been able to get mail for, oh - 4 months.
I guess the renewal made her want to see if there was anything good piled up in her mail box.
I am talking her through checking her OE settings when POOF.
The PC SHUTS DOWN.
I am not talking virus infection, I am talking it shutdown. The power strip shows power. The breaker has not been tripped. She moved the pc power cord to another jack - dead. She plugged and replugged everything back in - dead.
She wanted to know if we're having a problem with the connection. No, she really didn't ask that, but she had a major problem with the possibility her old win98 machine kicked the bucket.
I did enjoy quoting Cleese to her as I am doing my diag. "Did you check the power...yea, this machine is no more....cease to be. Right, it sounds like it has gone to meet it's maker. Right - COMPAQ."
[By: wildchild / 2005-03-01]
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Joined the choir invisible? -lineswine
And the choir rejoiced at the salvation of that lady's soul from the damnation that is COMPAQ. >:P -Torinir
Welcome to TSC - good first post!
-lineswine
<hugs Compaq laptop> It's ok baby, they don't mean it. -DarthLuke
was it wearing a red shirt, thats all i want to know. -RandalGraves
Turn off, unplug power, wait for 30 sec. - should get status light flash, plug back in, else, you may have High-Protein PopCorn (cockroaches) -satanstech
LOL @ RandalGraves! -Tekkie
It's not pining, it's passed on! Bereft of life, it is no more. It has ceased to be and gone to meet it's maker. THIS IS AN EX-PC! -Captain Trips
"It's only sleeping!" </yet another obligatory Monty ref> -missourimule
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15.
Wheee! I've renewed my star again
I thought it was about time I sprung for a new shirt - the old ones have not quite fallen apart, but are looking,. let's just say "lived in".
OK, I may or may not have been a donor of a star or two...it just makes the ppl who have beewn gifted a star wonder if it was me that did it....gee, ain't I a stinker!
The irony is that my side jobs with the local fishies lets me do such things - so in effect, the fishies paid for the stars, not me![By: lineswine / 2005-03-01]
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meh! so your T-shirts look lived in?, least they match your face! <YES! Revenge !!!!!!!!! buhwa ha ha ha> -Digital Dogcow
Will you two get a room???? -CommanderData
OK, the gloves are now officially off - Digital Bitchcow! -lineswine
Uhwww Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight, reminds me of playground days -Armakuni
<Sets up caged ring and cons CommanderData into walking around in minimal clothing and high heels carrying signs with the current round number> -RiffRaff
Guys I will sacrifice our entire beancounter department if you make this match go the distance. <dusts of digital camera> -Armakuni
Lineswine V Digital Dogcow Round 1 -CommanderData
Hang on they're not ready yet, keep walking around the ring with that board CD :) -Armakuni
oooooooh! Get Her! "Digital Bitchcow!", well you did say "I'm sure you'll get chance to get me back sooner rather than later" Duckie!. </best Lilly Savage Voice>. I suppose thats my lift to the next TSC UK BBQ fucked then? <BFEG> -Digital Dogcow
I just realized, all the American's are gonna google "Lilly Savage" now and become very very disturbed! <snigger!> -Digital Dogcow
LOL good point DD -Armakuni
I now have the image of Tina Turner in my head as Aunt Entity doing the "Thunderdome" opening speach and then all the rest of us here at TSC chanting "Two techs enter, one tech leaves! Two techs enter, one tech leaves!" as DD and Lineswine face off inside Thunderdome. -JH
/me doesn't care about the fight, and is just watching CD in her RiffRaff provided costume -madonnac
Will somebody turn that bright light out. Damn big arsed brit star butts anyway. Oh. Oops. Hey Linswine, nice star. -Rabbitt
Double oops. That's lineswine. -Rabbitt
<googles "Lilly Savage" hoping for hot female porn star. Reads related information on "Lilly Savage"> "OH, DEAR GOD, NO!!!" <drinks brain bleach and lays down in fetal position mumbling to self, "that's just not right! Nobody's hair looks like THAT!"> -rokitt
I'll see your Lilly Savage and raise you a Jan Crouch - queen of the flowing mascara. -VIPERsssss
Yeah, thanks for that google suggestion DD...please pass the brain bleach!! -sajwaite
I did a google of that and found DD's mum!! <runs down the ramp, grabs a chair and smacks DD upside the head> "Two on one beyatch!!!!".....Huh? Match didnt start yet? Oh, umm here, have a bandaid DD. -burrkiss
If one of the spectators at this fight has purple hair and tattoos everywhere, don't let her jump into the ring. Just tell my sister-out-law that her husband is looking at other women, and she'll hurry home.
-concept14
Er, when you two are done fighting... >:) ...lineswine, y'all still coming out to the Pacific NW at the end of the month? -snowcrash
Riff - I *must* compliment you on your fashion design skills! I didn't realize that 2 Band-aids and a cork were such high fashion! <Ties bandana around eyes, lights cigarette, and waits for the volley of CD-LARTs that's on the way> -Ulfgaard
Snowcrash: We are defintely still coming to the West Coast of the USA. Starting out from Heathrow, arrive in San Francisco 25/3/05. Drive to Sonora 26/3/05 to see friends. Back to San Francisco 30/3/05. Fly to Seattle 31/03/05 & depart back to San Francisco 04/04/05. Fly back to the UK 08/04/05.
If anyone in the Bay area fancies a meet-up sometime during 04-08/03/05 , whiteboard me. As far as I know, Starfury is up for it. -lineswine
DD: Handbags at 5 paces? (no bricks stuffed in the handbags, OK?) -lineswine
Snowcrash: You said you'd sort of asked a few of the Sea/Tac TSCers for a meet-up. We are still keen to do this, if you & they are... -lineswine
But, Riff, why'd you choose "Barney" band-aids? What do you mean nobody else noticed there *was* a desing on them? -missourimule
Ok, the bandaids I get... Butt where does the cork go? -Shazzai
LS, I'll host a get together in your honour if it kills me! >:) -snowcrash
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16.
Help me help you.
Ok, so I am on the phone with a customer last week who could not send/receive email. I remote to their computer and start to dig around and after some poking Outlook for a while I get it to start receiving email. The user is elated and tells me thanks and that she has to get back to work. While the user is rambling on, about to hang up, I keep trying to tell them that they may not be able to send email since I had not made it to that point yet. They mutter something like “we’ll call back later when that is more important than downloading my 100 messages of spam that makes me feel like I still exist even though I am a brainless maniac” and I close the ticket. Flash forward to today and they call in. What is their problem…That’s right, they can’t send email.[By: mellowfellow / 2005-03-01]
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Starfish priorities. You can get the same result by chasing a herd of goats. It's called "no-attention-span-minimal-effort-problem-avoidance". Chase them and they run reflexively only as long as you are chasing them. By doing so, you can amuse yourself for hours making them run figure-8's in the pasture. -teivrann
So Teivrann, would you know what to do with a goat when you caught one? <Regular lart shelter is full, so I'm diving into the extra fortified one under Burrkiss's house.>
-concept14
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17.
The Computer LART
Today has been the day from hell for me. I think that all of my worst customers have called today added to the fact that last night my girlfriend woke me up saying I was whimpering in my sleep (I was having a nightmare about work). So anyway after a particular painful call ended I get a chat session just as I was about to go for a break. It was one of our worst customers, a real pain who happens to be a Psychiatrist (in the medical support world they are the worst) who cannot log in. So I get her info, she doesn’t even have the user name correct. So I use our remote to take a look and see the user name list and ask her what username she wanted to use. She tries to respond and this is where the computer decided to take measures upon itself. She starts to type “<insert username>” but it comes out as a95se34 or something like that. I immediately know what the problem is but the user starts to go wild trying to type in the chat window (the whole time with me watching) and every other key is a number. In my mind I see a panicky Shrink trying to type, thinking she is going mad wondering why her alpha keys are printing numbers. I call all my co-works over and they too know what the trouble is and just about everyone in the office is dieing with laughter. People are putting callers on hold and coming to my desk…its Bedlam around here for a good five minutes before I finally fill the customer in! Turns out our (webex like) support sometimes will flip the NumLock on when a user is connecting with a laptop. After I explain to the user what to do, and let them know that it will not start working again until we disconnect, they finally say respond “62” which I assumed was OK :)[By: mellowfellow / 2005-03-01]
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I hear your shitty day, i had a real shocker too, felt suicidal when i got home except mine didn't have a good ending like that one. -Armakuni
"Yeah, we see that a lot from people in the early stages of homicidal schitzophrenia. Do you have a good therapist. What, you are a therapist? Uh-oh." -VIPERsssss
Would a therapist with schitzophrenia be able to cure himself? -JH
...and would he charge himself group rates, or give a discount for being a familly member? -Digital Dogcow
Which chair would he sit in? -Armakuni
...and would he reply 'Are you taking the piss?" After asking himself "Tell me about your mother". -Digital Dogcow
Armakuni you get suicidal tendancies?? I just look up the name and see how close to my house they are. I get homicidal tendancies./me grabs his LART -Slycat
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19.
These people have no clue.
Just got a psuedo-promotion at work handling business DSL accounts. Less calls, more money.
Then they dropped this bomb on us: "Effective immediately: All breaks are now ten minutes long instead of 15. Failure to comply will result in disciplinary action."
Then, not ten minutes later, after the riot, they came by to see if we wanted to refer anyone to come work for us, as they want to hire 400 new TS agents.[By: Docster / 2005-03-01]
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Do you get at least a 40-minute lunch-break, as well? If not, I believe that you may be looking at an OSHA guidelines violation (one hour of break time for every eight hours of work time.) -LoTech
be careful on that lotech as it is a GUIDELINE. My states law is 2 ten minute breaks and a 30 min lunch for an 8 hour shift. -PolarCoyote
Where? -satanstech
Part of what has kept me in my current job for 15 years is the flexitime. As long as the work gets done, I can start when I want, finish when I want, and have as long as I want for lunch. In other news, sources say that a tonne of tomatoes and rotten eggs have mysteriously started to rain down on Australia. Eyewitnesses say that the rogue food items are labelled 'LART'. -LadySharky
I'm glad I work for my employer. Our IT director doesn't care if you start at 8 or at 11. As long as the work gets done and the customers are happy. I'm supposed to be there at 8 but I usually show up aboutt 8:25. I introduced this "flex time" concept when I was in the military and my flight commander almost threw an ape shit over it. I told him, "What difference does it make when people start working as long as the work gets done? Happier workers equal better productivity!" He didn't have a good response to that. He neeped and I pretended to obey, but I let the folks work hours that suited their schedules. Yeah, the work got done and productivity increased. No harm done. -mccallister
I sort of have that kind of deal. I quit one day at lunch. Walked out without saying a word. 10 min. later, my boss is on the phone asking me to come back. I held him off for 3 months until they hired 3 more people to do the work I was doing alone before I came back. Since then, if I get there late, no-one says anything even if I put down the time I was supposed to be there on my time card. {BFEG} -maciarc
I have my own version of flex time. I work alone and unsupervised for the first 6 hours of my shift. The only way to tell what time I show up and how long my breaks are would be to check the security camera tapes. -thx1138
In our state, it's the same as for PolarCoyote. To be exact: 10 minutes break for every four hours worked, or major portion thereove (meaning if you worked 2 hours=no break, 2.5 hours=break.) Minimum of 1/2 hour unpaid lunch. Total minimum paid break: 20 min. Minimum unpaid: 30 min. I once got a company in trouble over this -- their policy was: one 10 minute break, one 30 minute (paid) lunch per 8 hour day. (I was a temp there.) I always took the legally required two 10 minute breaks until the one day my supervisor said "you've already taken your one break, get back to work." The next day, I complained to my temp agency, and by that evening's shift, the word came down: Everyone is entitled to 2 breaks, by law! (But it was 10 minutes, not 15. So your company, although being dicks about a measley 10 minutes total, is within the letter of the law -- depending on your state laws, of course.) -Captain Trips
WI doesn't require breaks outside of lunch but they are recommended. We used to have paid 10 minute morning and afternoon breaks with an unpaid 1/2 lunch. The owner changed that last fall to no official breaks (we're still allowed to get a snack or cig once every 2 hours, tho) and now lunch is 1/2 unpaid & 15 minutes paid. How the fark is that helping? -Tekkie
AFter years of similar corporate dickery, I now have the best hours ever - 9-4.45 mon-thu, 9-4 fri, 2x15mins paid break and 1hr unpaid daily. Mind you, I'm out of the office a lot anyway and travelling to clients so I usually just take breaks as and when I can. No bosses around so noone really cares. -modeski
After much digging and searching, the only thing I can find for Texas state law is that if breaks are offered, then no work can be done on them. No mention about minimum times or even anything about lunches. So, apparently they're within their right to kill all breaks and not offer a lunch and we'd just have to take it if we wanted to continue paying rent. Made all the better since Texas is an anti-union state. -Docster
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20.
It never rains but it pours..(Kinda N/T)
A little background: I'm currently doing helpdesk for a large medical group. I've been there for 15 months and am getting bored. No chance for promotion/transfer. During that time I completed my Bachelors degree and have been sometimes putting out my resume to potential other jobs. So far silence until last week.I've had 1 phone interview last week (passed on job, same pay, longer commute), have an in-person interview Wednesday at 1:30pm with a drug company, phone interview with Accenture at 4pm, and have put in for a transfer to a PC tech job with an affiliate of my current company. Why is it that instead of these things coming in one at a time they all happen at once? I think that God is playing some HUGE practical joke on me....or that maybe some random karma has come my direction.[By: Starfury / 2005-03-01]
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I'd look at it as karma. It's always better to have several choices outside what you're doing now. If it was just the one offer and you took it just for the change, you might miss a great opportunity that came along later. A handful at once gives you better odds of finding something more rewarding or makes what you do now more practical. -Tekkie
Funny how they don't want you, don't want you, you get yourself a shiny piece of paper of any sort (though I'm not saying that to be mean--I do honestly mean to congratulate you!), and sixteen companies crawl out of the woodwork and suddenly have time for you! With your new luck, you'll be able to pick the one you want. :) Congrats!!!! -snowcrash
Accenture? Oh, yeah, the company that took my employer for 12 megabucks (and thus prevented them from giving us raises that year -- the money came out of the funds set aside for "merit increases." Our COO quit when he was told to lie to his people about that.) Oh, and their final recommendation after getting 12 mil? "Keep doing what you have been, it's good." No wonder the company went bankrupt! I would reconsider working for them -- they don't seem to have any ethics. -Captain Trips
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