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Tech Stories Archives - April 2005
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4.
She just doesn't understand me (2/2)
The mother-in-law and I trudge upstairs and we both "coo" at the new shiny thing (what she need's with 120Gb HDD I'll never know). </p> Curiousity sets in... <ME:> "Show what was wrong with the old one?" <M-I-L:> "It was going really slow, and (some crap techie) came to look at it. He couldn't work out why GAIN was using all my CPU time or something like that, so he recommended dumping that computer and sold me this new one" </p> Hang on a sec. If he didn't know what was wrong with it, why has your new computer got both Ad-aware and Spybot installed! Here's me telling a story of how Mr. Istanbul-Shoe-Shine ("Best shoe-shine in Turkey. I father 10 Children") ripped me off for 15 YTL (new Turkish Lira, about £6), I come home and you tell me how you've been ripped off for the best part of £1000! <ME:> "If you let me look at it I might be able to do something with it." <M-I-L:> "No, I quite happy with this one now. Do you think the old is still useful? You can have it if you want." 0_0 <ME:> *feigned reluctance* "Well... I'll just go and talk to your daughter." [2 minutes later] <"WIFE":> "What d'yer need a more computer crap for?! You got a room full of it already!" <ME:> "But that CPU's better than mine, and I can take out the..." <"WIFE"> "NO!" <ME:> "Bu..." <"WIFE"> "I said 'NO!'". Cue 3 hours of sulking and fruitless persuasion on my part. What is a techie to do? She just doesn't understand me... [By: Criptonite / 2005-04-01]
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Get her trained, thats what I did now the "other half" snags more stuff from her work than I do from mine. -nightwalker21
Tell her you will sell the computer and she can buy new shoes from the money (or part of it). She will understand. -B2382F29
Hey, forget sulking. You want it, M-I-L is giving it to you take it. Wife has no say, yes it will start a fight, but ALWAYS stand up for yourself, cause noone else will. - burrkiss
I agree with Burkiss. Jeez man, it's a computer, not a(nother) mistress. -Jeckler
With enough pr0n it could become another mistress! <g> -ecoli
Just take the damn thing. Forgiveness is generally easier to obtain than permission. You lost points just by admitting that you were considering such a heinous action anyway, so you might as well get the goods. -Owie
You techie guys REALLY need to start hooking up with the few techie ladies around... This arguement would NEVER happen in my house! *looks at dual screen flat panel monitors Djshaun wanted* -Zentar
"Clean up on aisle three! Clean up on aisle three! We have an emasculated man bleeding from the groin in aisle three!" <runs like hell for the LART Shelter> -SwedishChef
Take the PC system unit anyway, swap the cases about and voila! you get the faster bits & 'er indoors is non
the wiser. My bet is that she thought you were after the whole kit - monitor, speakers, etc. If she no likee you having extra PC hardware, tell her no more clothes buying, after all she has plenty already! (See how fast she tells you "That's different!" & you reply "No, no it isn't - I no get, you no get). -lineswine
Wow. I have to agree with Burrkiss on this one. Go get the dang thing (make your peace with the couch first, though, in case she _really_ has a tantrum about it), and then show her exactly what you're doing with those spare parts. Lock in the room with you and tolerate her boredom because you can then prove to her exactly why spare aprts are around. Either that, or do as lineswine suggested and tell her no more if you can't have more. Or refuse to let her se the comptuer at all... -taieena
LOL @ SwedishChef, you made me spew on the keyboasddubfdufada/.>?<?>, -Psudo
You guys make me laugh. Nightwalker has the right idea. I took me years to break the husband from jewelry and watches as gifts. I knew I succeeded the day he came home many moons ago with a used 21-inch monitor and said, “The guy made me a deal, and if you don’t want it he’ll take it back.” I was using a 14 inch monitor at the time, he made a great deal and has been working his magic ever since. He brings home more stuff than I do and happily, he has our son trained to do the same. -DizzyDan
First, grab the comp & bring it home ANYWAY. When you get bitched at, mention that it's either that, or she gives you the money to buy the uprated parts you're going to scavenge from it. -Grue
Sounds like my wife, I got the go ahead to build my Athlon 64 System but had to sell my 900mhz system as part of the deal. I cant wait until I have a basement. -Flexo
I'll pay shipping. Need my address? :) -maciarc
Yeah, forgiveness is easier to obtain than permission. Grab the guts, swap 'em out, you have a new system. -teivrann
Oh Holy-Heck-No! If I decide that a new computer is warranted, I will get the dang thing. -ThreeBucks
Yup, forgiveness is easier to get than permission. And it's not like it'll cost any money. -sassicatz
Sneak over there one day while she's at work and you're off, or she's out shopping, grab it and go. Tell the M-I-L that you decided that someone you know could use it, and you're going to fix it up a bit before gifting it off. Make sure you say gifting, otherwise she'll want the money, and you're SOL because you're gifting it to yourself. See... You do know someone who can use it (yourself), so it's not a lie. -exzyle2k
Take the thing and take the flak, mate. If she fights you down to the wire and says 'It's me or the computer' call her bluff. It's not as if you were risking anything IMPORTANT, is it? <glances over shoulder to check that Mrs. Gromit isn't lurking in the vicinity> Your missus needs retraining, by the way... <THWAPPP!!!> Oh, hello dear, I didn't <THWAPPP!!!> hear you come in. That's a nice new <THWAPPP!!!> handbag you've got there dear..<THWAPPP!!!> -Gromit
Wait till she's gone and sneak it in. Sounds like she won't notice if another showed up. -unrunt
*sigh* what's the world coming too when a tech can't walk the streets without being given free hardware! I was walking down to the shopping center a week ago and my next door neighbour stopped me and gave me 2 printers and a PC (minus HDD)! -Splunge
I don't think having a tech SO for this story would have made it any less of an argument. Instead of fighting over taking the machine or not, it would be a fight over who gets it. So etiher way, you loose out, cause you still have that fight. -JH
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5.
She just doesn't understand me (1/2)
We land back at dear old blighty after an extremely hectic, stressful, and therefore most enjoyable trip to Istanbul. First thing "Mrs Criptonite" does of course is call her mother to let her know that, once again, the Islamic extremists missed us and she won't be getting any part of our estate just yet. </p> An hour later, we're at "mother-in-law's" house and after the usual chat about our non-near-death experiences with Mr. Istanbul-Shoe-Shine ("I father 10 Children. Best shoe-shine in Turkey"), I hear the line "Ooo, come and look at my new computer."[By: Criptonite / 2005-04-01]
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6.
License plate (not tech related)
Saw this license plate on a nice new Lincoln while on the way to work this morning: "TW1T". I think all lusers should have this branded on their foreheads.[By: Bradford / 2005-04-01]
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I wonder if that's in reference to Monty Python's "Upperclass Twit of the Year" sketch? -Zentar
EUs could learn from that sketch, in particular from the twit who runs himself over. -Bradford
I think that'd be more like 'TW4T'. -NightSteel
The most intriguing plate that I have seen recently - RUXPRNCD - Sounds like someone is looking for a PRO! -TieDyedDinosaur
Best plate I've ever seen was "Honk if you ARE Jesus!" -lucida
TDD: Either that, or someone is a MAJOR Hendrix fan. -purplelinguist
Teddy Ruxpin Porn CD? -LaserGuru
OK, I had thought it MIGHT be 'Are You Experienced' but I can see that yours might work just as well. -TieDyedDinosaur
Or Scooby Doo pr0n, as in "Ah, rux, Raggy, here's your p0rn!" Oh, hell, but Velma's hot (as the resident geek), and so is Velma, so... -missourimule
I still want the bumper sticker that George Carlin came up with: "Honk if your horn is broken." That oughta keep the average American busy for about a mile and a half, huh? :-D -PaseoGuy
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7.
Eventually they'll ask me...
People in my family and extended family seem to forget I worked in cable support not too long ago. Earlier this week, my MIL's digital box went out just after she had shifted it around to get at the VCR/DVD combo. The men started fiddling with everything, one was trying to reprogram the remote for the box. My significant other was playing around with the front of VCR. While I sat back and said: "Why is it YOU guys are messing with this? I'm the one who was paid for this sort of thing!" So, my handsome man said: "ok, you fix it then!" So I tried the tv to make sure it was on 3 (since they'd fiddled with that too), and told the other male to stop trying to reprogram the remote because that won't do any good -- especially since he didn't even know the codes anyways, just how to get the blinky shit to happen. After a few seconds, I told my man to check the connections at the back. Wow! What do you know, that fixed it. *sigh*. I really wish the guys in my family would TRY TO remember that I'm not a stereotypical technophobic woman. Some times I think it's a primal thing, you know, like in prehistoric times the guys would all sit around the fire trying to start it and just grunt at the woman who was trying to tell them the kindling was too wet.... :P[By: Zentar / 2005-04-01]
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Ugh, Woman know tech stuff! -TieDyedDinosaur
Go get me a beer and make the cable work. And some pie....don't forget the pie. /skips off to shelter -Painkiller
<Me to Mrs. Criptonite> "OW! No, dear I'm not drooling over the female tech. Honestly! Stop throwing plates at me..." -Criptonite
Hey, I resent that... sometimes to make it hot, you need to get it wet first. </so I've been told> -namor
In my husband’s family, after all the males have a go at fixing whatever needs installing/repairing from installing the dishwasher to setting up the new DVD Player one of the two kids will say let Aunt Dizzy fix it? At that point, the males usually get a “the deer in the headlights” look and wander off realizing it is not their problem any more. And, I fix it or get the professional help required in the first place. -DizzyDan
Solidarity, sister! My husband (an auto mechanic)knows better than to touch the PCs/DVR/VCR/TV/Stereo etc. He's man enough to admit he knows jack about them. Just like I wouldn't lift the hood of my car and start pulling on cables!! -CelticTech
WOO HOO for girl techs everywhere!! -ITNaziChick
We are woman! Hear us roar! -purplelinguist
yay for us *mild grr noise* (i save roars for kids messy rooms;) ) -timelady
Someone send me a Geek GF -Deadagent
One of my favorite things about the Mrs.: she knows enough to not mess with stuff that she doesn't know all about (PC/Stereo/Car stuff) and lets me handle stuff like that (when I do). Better than that, she listens to my explanations and has learned a lot about how computers work--but isn't dangerous. God, I love her! :-) </sappy> -PaseoGuy
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8.
Interview Update
Well, I had that interview for the Server Support area earlier. It was kinda odd; the intereviews were all scheduled 15 minutes apart. This is because it was only open to internal employees; it is not an open position but a transfer. Basically, they already know us and how we work. Found out there were 7 applicants in total. One isn't available for it as he is on a Restricted Appointment and thus not permanent. Another was from outside of IT and couldn't get it. That leaves 5 of us. 4 are on the help desk, including me. Of those other 3, one has only been on the help desk for about a year, compared to over 3 1/2 for me. It's his first TS job. Another has been on the help desk for at most 1 1/2 months longer than I have, but has no other experience (I had almost 4 years before this job with significant server experience). The last person on the help desk has been here a few years more than me, but is generally acknowledged as the worst person on the help desk by other help desk analysts and several people on the second level. So, theoretically, I only have to worry about that 5 person, whom I'm not sure who that was. Sounds good so far....[By: kman52000 / 2005-04-01]
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Keeping the bunny ears crossed for you. -Rabbitt
My Rake of Karma is still sturdy and useable. I'd be more than happy to work you over with it some more. -murdermachine
Karma buckets on their way!! -TechOgre
Keg-O-Karm™ is being transported to your location. Good Luck! -ecoli
KarmaLaser set to full pulse. -LaserGuru
I rub my head and pat my belly and say 'DeNeep' so that you may receive bounteous Karma. -TieDyedDinosaur
Best of luck, kman! Keep petting this KarmaKitten™. -sassicatz
<Backs up tanker load of liquid Karma> Awwright, O'Malley, dump it here! -Ulfgaard
Watch out... your co-workers might try to get rid of the worst helpdesk employee by talking him up :-) -smellystudent
You forgot to mention how much brown stuff is in the other applicants' nostrils. Ah well, good luck anyways. Hopefully buttkissing won't be a factor here. -HidariMak
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9.
ISP Vs Vender
So we have this customer constantly calling us like 4 times in 2 days .. for DSL support. (we being the ISP ) The main issue is that the customer has NOTHING except the network adapter for the USB DSL modem listed under Network config running ME. So ripping and reinstalling comms is beyond our scope so we send her to Compaq. They try to install TCP/IP w/o installing comms which will not work. So the compaq tech calls us the ISP with customer confrenced... telling us that the modem must be installed before TCP/IP can be installed ... WRONG .. so.. i calmly explaine to the IGMO tech he is wrong as the day is long.. he places myself and customer on hold ... while on hold he is talking to one of his SR techs .. i take it upon myself to prove him wrong and depending on how long it takesto reboot have it fixed before he comes back on the line. I check comms .. not there .. big supprise.. reinstall comms .. reinstall USB drivers .. and in the 7 mins he had us on hold .. connected and browsing .. My comment to him was .. you can send the 40 bucks you charged the customer to me .. i need beer .. KTHX ass hat [By: TechBuckett / 2005-04-01]
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So even though installing Comms was beyond your scope and you got the SF to call Comcrap, and even though they were billed $40, you still installed Comms?? "You have much to learn young Padawan" <puts away light saber after slicing and dicing SF> -ecoli
the SF in this story was Unfortunately the Comcrap tech from "over there" <cough> outsorcing <cough> the poor old lady told the IGMO comcrap tech that she needed help installing comms .. they kept sending her back to ISP to install modem before they would do comms
-TechBuckett
Yeah... I know the process over there... Some guys REALLY don't know enough to install anything that isn't written down for them... -renaultguy
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10.
Wow.
Wow...just...wow.
I got a call today about a monitor that's being read its last rights as we speak (flickering, purple tint, lines through the image), and when I get there to diagnose the problem, the EU turns to me and says, "Do you think it's running low on ink?" I told her to try calling our HP service hotline and tell them the problem, and continued on my way.[By: lunarpaladin / 2005-04-01]
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So, I work for HP, and I just got this call from someone who said her IT staff told her to call us because her screen was running low on ink! Referred her to Microsoft and told her to ask for an updated ink.exe and ink.drv - but can you believe the idiots in her IT department? -Calydor
Sure that shouldn't have been an updated monitor.lnk? -purplelinguist
Perhaps we know where another mouse is meeting its doom as we speak! -TieDyedDinosaur
Obviously not keeping up with MS Service Pack updates. Ink.exe and ink.drv were updated. Once installed the monitor should be fine except for the occasional spyware/malware intrusion. These are much harder to clean and you have to download the MS software monitorclean.exe - but only if you have authentic MS registered software. -ecoli
Shoulda SMASHED IT WITH A HAMMER!<smack!>...HEWLETT PACKARD PIECE OF SHIT!!<bam!><smack!><tinkle!><Shebednigo!> -vacuumtubes
"Tinkle" LOL thats too farkin funny....it pisses you off, you piss it on. -RA
Last rites, even. Can't believe I misspelled that. -lunarpaladin
Blinker fluid? -VIPERsssss
50 feet of flight line? A gallon of prop wash? -ecoli
flash back to the sf who insisted there was a patch to stop his power supply from smoking, got sent to m$ for the nosmoke.exe patch...then get told by M$ that his power supply was too old for the patch to work and he had to buy a new, updated power supply :) -PCRaevyn
Diesel engine spark plugs? -maciarc
Muffler bearings? -missourimule
bucket of steam? -rockytech
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11.
Any Good April Fools pranks out there?
Well, now that April fools is "technically" over (at least in the pacific time zone), was there anyone out there who planned, or fell victim to, some great pranks?[By: Bynar / 2005-04-01]
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nope! I was asleep! -Harm
April fools is over in the Pacific timezone? That's news to me, since it is only 12:50pm. Last I heard, April 2 was scheduled to begin at 12:00am. [/nitpick] -ThreeBucks
While I don't have any of my own pranks, I have been reading these - some quite good http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/top100.html -jard
Yes, tehre have been. Click the link to the previous story at the bottom of this story. :D -Galandar
A very (very) old story. Back in HS, another guy and I admined the school newspaper's computers. I just downloaded one of those programs that faked deleteing C:\windows\. He freaked and literaly pulled the plug. I also did somethings that are still best covered up, though seeing evry printer in school printing 'choice' messages was fun. -nm
I've never believed that April Fools ended at noon, myself. I know some people would like it to... /. has been full of AF stories all day. I like the one about MS porting SQL Server to other platforms including Linux and XBox... -chazz
Uhhh it's 12:55pm April 1st still PST here. Wonder what "Pacific Time Zone" you're in that it's over? -WhiteTiger
Oh and are you sure its over? i'm in norway, and there is still 1hour, 4 minutes. -nm
Erm...$3, WT..correct me if I'm wrong, but Bynar's probably on the same track I am...isn't April Fool's officially over at midday? -karlata
That is what I was getting at. I was always under the impression that april fools day was over at noon. however, that may make me the greatest fool of them all. -Bynar
lol is this post an april fools joke considering it's till april first? -drachen
sorry didn't read all the comments. -drachen
I'm assuming that this post is a joke. =P I had never heard that April fool's day is over @ noon. Looks like I've been had? -ThreeBucks
Took a co-workers keyboard, put it in a keyboard box, punched a hole in the back, threaded the wire thru, wrapped the box in packing tape, strapped it with plastic binding straps, then wrapped the straps in packing tape. Plugged the keyboard into the co-worker's KVM, punched out, went home. -exzyle2k
LOL at jard's link, joke #7. Short version for those not inclined to link: The state of Alabama changes the value of pi from 3.141592653 to the "more Biblical" value of 3. -QuinTech
We have a box full of alphanumeric pagers in the center that are loaners if the street crews' break or stop working. I put batteries in as many of them as we had batteries for (~30) and set the first one's alarm clock at 10am, the second at 10:02, the third at 10:04, etc. -Jay911
I Googled +"april fools" +noon and found many sites that have noon as the cut off time for pranks. Guess it depends on how you look at it. -MrsTechnoVamp
Snopes mentions a superstition that joke played after noon would bring bad luck http://www.snopes.com/holidays/aprilfools/origins.asp
-PID1
A local steakhouse ('Le Bifteque') has some aluminum, realistic looking, nearly life-size cows out in a grassy area near the street. One year, I'm planning on going to those cows some time after midnight on April 1, and dropping some natural cow fertilizer behind each of them. Not this year, but some year, perhaps. -HidariMak
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12.
Should I just pull an ETA out of my *?
So our Exchange servers are currently bogged down (one is down, the other is crawling)...
Cue a panicky bid coordinator (we're a health insurance company, she's writing a bid for a huge contract):
PBC: Look, I heard the message where you said the mail was down but I need to know when it's coming back up neep nop 15,000-person contract neep due today neep nop.
Me (not asking why you waited until hour before bid deadline to bid): We haven't been given an ETA yet -- as soon as we...
PBC: I unnastand that, but neep 15,000 nop ETA neep bid deadline nop.
Me: Let me ask you something... seriously... would you rather I call the person working on it and interrupt their work to get you an ETA, or would you rather I let them finish?
PBC: NEEEP NOOOOP MANAGER NEEEP NEEP YOU DID NOTHING NOP
Me: My manager's name is (insert name here). Is there anything else?
PBC: CLICK
I immediately went to my manager and confessed my less-than-QA-worthy remarks... he rolled his eyes and told me to send a voicemail with an ETA. So I had to call operations and say "look, I hate to do this, but can you give me an ETA?"... I sent the voicemail and the world goes merrily along... :)[By: Robster2001 / 2005-04-01]
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next time just pull a scotty: figure out how much time it would take to get it to work,(A),double it(B).the tell them it'll take (B) but that you'll try to get to get it done in (A.5) that way they'll think your doing them a favor. -drachen
I'd just tell them "Microsoft hasn't given us an ETA, so I can't give YOU one, either!" -Grue
I've gotten sick of these. I tell them "next week". If the problem is still occurring a week from now, there's a good chance I'll have more info by then. If they ring back sooner, it's either fixed, we have an ETA, or they get "next week" again. -Geminii
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13.
New stuff rox!
So I got some new machines here to test SP2 with. Dell GX280's, small form factor desktop, 1gb RAM, 3gb P4, 40GB SATA. Total time from pressing the power button to logon screen... 20 seconds. This is a full corporate image too, not a strippy OEM load. I might like these machines.[By: Jeckler / 2005-04-01]
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I got a lot of failure calls on these. Hope that they hold up for you. -ecoli
Before anyone else says it, I know I goofed the speed spec. I don't feel like deleting it though. Pffft! -Jeckler
Me too E. I only got 3 of them, but these may be what I refresh the other 150+ people in the office with... by myself. That won't happen until at least June. Right now we're running GX260 towers. -Jeckler
Where I work, we have had DELL low profile case PCs for some users for a couple of years - starting with GX260s, now GX280s - I call them PITA PIPSQUEAKS. They take laptop style floppies and cd drives, and are #@$% to work on compared to the towers. One thing I have seen with a few of them is the tiny fan in the puny power supply going bad and frying the HD. If the CPU fan goes bad, the heat sensor detects that and no real harm is done - just get out your watchmaker tool kit when DELL ships the replacement. Give me a nice big tower to work on.
Junkman -junkman
we have three of the 270s in our office. so far all three have needed new mother boards, and a new hard drive for one so far. -xtc46
we got gx 260's, they have only needed new hd's -nightwalker21
Funny that you should mention special screwdrivers; I've got a couple of screwdrivers JUST for cases like that. They are what amounts to a power-screwdriver tip embeded in a stump of screwdriver handle. Total length: 1.2" (3 cm) - The odd bit is, of course, I bought them out of cheap, bargain-bins. Not even all the same one! I got the straight-blade at one place, the torx at another, and (finally!) found the phillips at, I think, Harbor Freight Tools. You'd think that they'd all come in the one package, but I digress. -LoTech
We get loads of these for repair. They're a real pain in the behind. -ch41nbr8kr
<Tech Nazi> Uhhh, 3GB P4s? WhereInHell did they get all that cache? Are they some new form of Extreme Edition? And how fast are they? </Tech Nazi, and running like he**> <Grin> -CTYankee
We have 250 of those we've rolled out but they got the 80gb dives. So far we've had 3 DOA (2 floppy drive, 1 mobo) and 2 others died in the field. I guess thats ok so far. none of the monitors (17" LCD) have had any problems yet. We did have one MD that wanted his LCD at 800x600. Was told 'no' by the IT dept. -Starfury
My father-in-law just bought a Dimension 8400XPS Media Center Edition--on my recommendation!--w/ P4 3.4GHz, 1GB RAM, 250GB HDD, DVD-ROM + DVD+/-RW Dual Layer drive about 2 months ago. I recommended Dell because usually their warranty svc is pretty good (I did 2yrs of CS for them in an outsource outfit). Sure enough, the burner wouldn't read or burn DVDs. I called tech support and got a dude in India who was pretty competent (and LOVED the fact that I'm an MCP--WINNT 4.0, but who cares?) and after 30 min. of troubleshooting, told me, "we're going to replace the drive, it's bad." A few days later, with no muss and no fuss, the new drive was in. Dell's not that bad, IMHO. -PaseoGuy
And that thing SCREAMS! I need one, now. :-( -PaseoGuy
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15.
Bloddy Proxy Caching
Could someone please explain to me the purpose (other than to cause the vein in my head to throb) or caching pages on the proxy server so that when someone refreshes and tries to read any new/updated content on a website, all they get is content from 3 fucking weeks ago?
First it was my beloved http://www.npr.org
Then it was TSC for a while. Imagine if you will comming into work in the morning, logging onto your machine, starting firefox and pulling up the TSC main page and the content being 3 days old. [let the screaming begin]
Well, that finally got straighted out on the proxy end, but now I am going to see what todays' BOFH has in store and I get the page that says Episode 7 is the latest one? WTF! This is getting to be too damn bloddy much.
So let's see what kind of stupid hell this new proxy has caused me so far...
Inability to see current page of some websites
Blocked access to ANY download sites
No Streaming Audio/Video/iTunes
Yahoo IM traffic totally blocked from Yahoo Messenger, but NOT from Trillian
I am so glad it's the bloddy weekend. So I can actually see the web it was designed to be. Not blocked to all hell.[By: BunnieTechBabe / 2005-04-01]
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We've had a transparent proxy for our customers at some points... eventually it becomes to much of a hassles, draws too many complaints, and it gets taken out. The justifications, of course, is bandwidth. -namor
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16.
April Fool's
Check out startrek.com today - looks like they have some pretty funny articles going on today. Episode ideas such as 'Porker' - where Porthos and Tucker get merged in a transporter accident, or 'Khan-fusion' - where Enterprise catches the Botany Bay going at sublight speeds, decide they pose no threat, and let them go on their merry way.
There are a few other things like the Ferengi Apprentice ('You're fried!"), Enterprise being saved by the makers of South Park so they can remake it as 'Team Enterprise' in the style of The Thunderbirds...
[By: teivrann / 2005-04-01]
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17.
Voice-Activated Faxing: The Prank
A merry prankster came to me yesterday with an idea. The idea was somewhat goofy and moderately amusing, but it wasn't one that I could help with, much. (I'm the Computer Guy, not the Phones Guy.) I sent her to the Phones Guy, who was much more amused by the idea than I.
Here's the gist of the email he sent out at day's end yesterday:
"In the interests of [insert latest in-building motivational catch-phrase here], GreyDuck and I are implementing a new feature on the fax machines that might improve your life somewhat. We're putting microphones on the machines so you can speak the number you want to dial instead of having to type it in. If you have trouble, make sure to speak loudly and clearly into the mic."
In a fit of inspiration, he even managed to cobble together some very legit-looking gear next to each fax machine, which you can see here: http://greyduck.net/gallery/Miscellany/VoiceActivatedFax
Now, I thought nobody would buy into this. It seemed... too much, you know? Too outlandish. Too easy. Too impossible. But alas, I once again underestimated the 'fishyness of your average salesdrone. Several times today have we heard the clear, dulcet tones of someone attempting to use this "new fax system."
And I thought I was gullible...[By: GreyDuck / 2005-04-01]
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LMAO -ch41nbr8kr
That is a great one! -Psudo
Update: I just had a delegation from Sales and Promotions insisting (!) that I show them how to use the equipment. "We can't figure it out, and we want to see YOU do it!" They didn't even wise up when I collapsed at my desk in a fit of giggles. I had to send them off with, "Talk to the Phones Guy." Only a few minutes after they left did one of them come back and say, "Oh, I get it! It's April Fool's..." Hah! I love these people... -GreyDuck
Good one! Sometimes the 'simple ones' are the easiest to pull off. I heard that one of our local radio stations announced this morning that one of our local newspapers was doing away with the Sunshine Girl (equivalent of the Page 3 girl, for those who know it). There were people up in arms, campaigning on-air, on the spot, to have it reinstated. -teivrann
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18.
Wallet Woes
...aka the Billfold Ballet
I got home from volleyball last night, and as I walk in the door, my phone rings. I then found out that my wallet(!) had been discovered(?) in front of a restaurant near the gym. The problem is, I haven't been to that restaurant for a couple of months; and I know for a fact that I had my wallet with me at work yesterday. The only way someone could have gotten my wallet would be to reach inside the front of my jacket, or to take my wallet while I was playing volleyball. The latter is much more likely as I wore my jacket all day, right up to the time I walked into the gym.
Fortunately, the only thing missing out of it is about $7. No CC's or ID's missing. I have however alerted CC and bank as to the situation should anything come up. Sigh...
My first thought when I got the call was that some of my friends were pranking me. I mean, we have all pranked eachother or been pranked fairly often. It seems that this is not the case, however. If it wasn't a prank by one of my frinds, then the fish better hope I never find out who he is... [By: ThreeBucks / 2005-04-01]
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You'll be changing your username to "Seven BucksMissing" now, right? -Grue
He had 10 to begin with. ;) -lunarpaladin
Or he could become MinusFourBucks - I know, I know, I'm off to the LART Shelter. Make way! -JH
So what was seven bucks on the menu at the restaurant? See if any of your 'friends' are wearing some. -TieDyedDinosaur
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19.
New Gotta Have Cell Phone!
Over on http://www.phonescoop.com today, Ol' Rich posted some new phones. Among them was this one. Since I don't have a direct link to the story, here's the text of it: *Following closely on the heels of the PTV (Push-To-View) technology it demonstrated at 3GSM in February - as well as other recent "push-to" technologies such as Push-To-Talk (PTT) and Push-To-Share - LG today announced a new "Push-To" technology designed to bring families and friends closer, faster. Based on the SIP protocol and IMS technology, Push-To-Bitchslap (PTB) is designed to enable a whole new dimension of mobile communication. PTB phones will feature a dedicated PTB side key, directly below the PTT key, as well as a special hinged keypad with a powerful spring, that flips up aginst the cheek when activated by the remote party. The company plans to launch at least three PTB phones by the end of the year, and is talking to several other major manufacturers about licensing PTB technology for use in their phones.* Now, isn't that what we've all been waiting for? :D[By: missourimule / 2005-04-01]
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Still waiting on flying cars, thanks. -itwasntme
And my dollar and my taco -GargoyleTS
and a steak dinner that comes in pill format. -modeski
Hey itwasntme, check this out then: http://www.moller.com/ -maciarc
I'm waiting for the boxing-glove-on-spring extension. -Geminii
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