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Tech Stories Archives - July 2005
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1.
A Modest Proposal
A proposal to help get rid of the SF who are paying for high-end broadband or TV satellite/cable and, because they are paying $XX more than the "basic" rates, feel it's their perogative to constantly call T/S and waste everyone's time, no matter how out-of-scope or irrelevant their problem is: >>>>> Okay, say the fishie is paying $40/mo. for service. Now say the T/S minions get paid $8/hr. The fishie is calling T/S three times a week, spending ½ hour on the phone each time, or 1½ hours a week. In a four week month, the fishie has made the company spend $48 on labor, but has only paid the company $40; in other words, the SF is costing the company money. So... once the SF reaches five hours of time to T/S, their service is automatically SHUT OFF until the next month, and the phone system blocks any incoming calls from their number. >>>>> I'm sure there's about three thousand things wrong with this concept (which will certainly be pointed out to me), but hey, it's an idea.[By: MeanDean / 2005-07-01]
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nirvana. - Harm
Not much wrong with the concept. We were told at Earthlink to direct the custies to alternate resources -- JavaChat, email, online help/FAQs -- because each call on the toll-free line cost the company money and they claimed 75% of issues could be fixed if the custies knew the answers were available without calling. (Granted, 75% of custies call because they *can't* get on or make email work, from my experience.) So blocking people who cost the company more than what they pay in a month isn't unreasonable. You speak of 6 hours and $40 cable, thus $20 dialup gets a max of 3 hours of phone time a month. That's why support calls to NetZero are $10 per call, $35 to Microsoft, $40 to Symantec, etc.... not only does it do better than break even, it discourages b0z0 calls. -Mushroom
after 3 hours of *different issues*, start charging for support? If it's a thorny single problem, the cust shouldn't be penalized. What do you think? -CTYankee
I read the title and for a second I was thinking Jonathan Swift. Soylent Green is starfish?!?! (heh heh) -TechieSidhe
I think it's the business model that gives the wrong expectation. If you pay 40.00 per month, then you should get a preset amount of service, and call it "Brown" level, for "gold" level you get the same features, but more support, for a price. I.E. If you want to pay the Wal-mart price you get the product wal-mart service, If you buy the same Product at Marshall Fields, you get the same Product and a better grade of service at the Marshall Fields price. -Flexo
The other problem, MeanDean, is that you are only taking into account gross pay. At least here in the US, there are many other cost factors to be considered: FICA, medical, dental, life insurance, air conditioning, electricity, services (phone, internet, COFFEE!), etc. Assuming the tech is paid $8/hr, it is likely the company is actually spending closer to $16/hr or more. -virtualchoirboy
VCB, the figure I've heard is 33%... though mind you that was for a higher-level position, there is a certain amount of fixed overhead for everyone no matter what the salary level. So for an $8/hr CSrep, you're probably right that the gross cost is $16/hr, so the lowest, $30 service level would have a 2-hour or 2-issue TS cutoff. Flexo: I wouldn't call any level of service "brown". (I made brown!) (Hello, UPS?) Call it Red, then above that Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum, and maybe Crystal for the serious geek. -chazz
I found the Jade Falcon! Do I get free T/S now? -MaskedMarauder
Believe it or not virtualchoirboy, the FICA, health insurance an other dodads that you get comes from your pay check. Check your pay stub, for taxes, medical insurance and more. -JackMackle
JackMackle, there is also an employer contribution to pension (I believe it's 401k down there) which diooes not come out of the paycheck. But also there are network, phone, and computer equipment costs, utility costs, taxes (e.g. property), and many other costs that are carried by the employer. VCB's figure is for company expenses over and above all those deducted from the paycheck. -chazz
Jackle: You're partially right. What you (and most employees) don't know is that the company you work for has to MATCH the amount shown on your paycheck when they pay your FICA amounts. Thus, on a $100 check, they deduct $7.65 (FICA and Medicaid) and then send $15.30 to the government in your name. -virtualchoirboy
virtualchoirboy & JackMackle: The existence of other costs is understood, just left out for the sake of brevity. But you get the gist: it costs The Company $XX.XX per hour for an employee; if some dingbat is costing The Company more per month in labor than they are paying in, well... -MeanDean
Don't forget unemployment and Workman's Comp insurances, which are 100% carried by the employer. -missourimule
so with all the expenses, enough people must NOT be calling or else no one would be in the business. Its like mail in rebates, the companies bank on the factt hat people will forget to or just be too lazy to mail out the forms, wo when they think "hey cool this is only 200 dollars after rebate" they really end up paying 500+ the small percent that are smart enough to send it are hapy and buy more later at full price so the company wins...the company ALWAYS wins, or there would be no compnay. -xtc46
Y'all, it ain't been called FICA for years 'n' years. -FuzzyElf
"The first two hours of T/S per month are included in your package. Over that, hourly rates charged to your credit card are..." -Geminii
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2.
NT, OT, to our Canadian Techs
(And an early heya to our American Techies, too)
*raises glass*
May we, on our respective national holidays, remember the men and women who fought for our countries, who never came home, who are out there fighting now, and who will continue to fight for their people in the future.
Happy Canada Day
And an early Happy Fourth of July
[By: halfstarfish / 2005-07-01]
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To Honor! -Harm
To honour! And to the gloy of the Candian nation, I thank those who have walked before me, happy 138 Canada! -RandalGraves
I promised myself I woulden't cry....too late. -RandalGraves
I esteem those who have chosen to serve and do so faithfully. I cannot honor them, as their *conduct* defines honor for all those less dedicated. -CTYankee
Happy Canada Day to those who observe it. -purplelinguist
**hands Randall a tissue** Happy Canada Day to y'all! -TechieSidhe
*makes a silent toast with her bottle of water* -taieena
*Looks at calendar* Yzp, time for another piss-up :) -Armakuni
To those who have served and those who have served and died. May we never forget you. <clinks 44oz drink cups> -ecoli
Happy Zephraim Cochrane Day! ...Er, I mean Happy Canadia Day Eh, and Happy Early Fourth (since I have to work). And to everyone who's fought/is still fighting, this Yoo-Hoo I'm knockin' back is for you. -TranceGemini
<Toasts with Gatorade> Happy Canada Day to all the Canucks, and Happy Independence Day to all of us US techs! -sassicatz
Yes, a hearty "Thank You" to all those brave men and women. And I get the day off. Government work. Gotta love it. Or at least, not completely loathe it. -kman52000
now that homos can get married...everything is right in the universe..../off to lart shelter -SGTARKyTEK
A salute to all my Canadian friends and remembrance to all who have fallen fighting for our respective countries. <toasts with coffee mug> -rokitt
I have to work today. :-( -Torinir
Glasses up to everyone who's ever stood up for what they believe in and those who stood for freedom (whether for themselves or someone else), despite what anyone else has said to them. -squatchie666
How odd, without any reason whatsoever, I picked up 'Strange Brew' on DVD today. I shall watch it tonight and toast to all up in 'The Great White North'. -deskmonkey
you're the second largest country on this planet earth and if Russia keeps on shrinking, then soon you'll be first! (as long as you keep quebec) /arrogantworms -MuppetCoat
Cheers for all <raises pint of Keiths> -ProfessorFrink
Happy Canada, D'eh!!! -Mysty
happy canada day ppls!! -starfishmagnet
whaddya mean canadians dont count as people??......... -starfishmagnet
<Salute><Singing> Oh! Canada... -renaultguy
%Diety help those of you who want to play this.. VERY quietly! http://www.practicallyimpractical.com/KWKAT/ST-OhCanida.oog (And yes, the spelling is an inside joke to someone.) -ShujinTribble
Too right! -MadJack
Happy belated Canada day to the rest a us Canucks and happy 4th to the yanks...*just knows Burrkiss will have a "yanks" comment*... -WraithDarkRose
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3.
I'm Back!!!!
Around noon of yesterday, I saw on the news that there was a rather large storm front headed in my direction(Ok I also looked outside and came to the same conclusion). So thinking safe over sorry i decide to shut down my little Frankensteinian monster and ride out the rough weather. Rough was rigt, lightning strike near my house(felt the concussion) and massive branches down. I decide to tuen in for a little nap as i find thunder relaxing sometimes. To my horror, my cable internet is down when I arise. And I knew it was the lines not the modem(its happened before, plus the TV was fuzzy as hell). I call in they will be sending someone Tuesday. But i wake up about an hour ago and bang suddenly everything is up and running again, karma in action, on Canada Day no less![By: RandalGraves / 2005-07-01]
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my favourite summer memory: Light summer rain, just warm enough air, and Thunder. I was 16 and sat outside with some girls talking about music or whatever. The thunder started and came closer. It felt so good, the girls were a little scared but I reminded them that there were plenty of lightningrod-like masts closeby and that we weren't in any real danger (a bit stupid but hey I was 16) ahhh the feeling when the thunder vibrated through the. It felt soooo good. -Bilkor
Where I work in Florida, we have lots of storms this time of year (can you say daily?). A lightning bolt came out of nowhere, went through the canopy of two trees (without touching either) and struck the antenna of a small pick up truck that was surrounded by lots of other similar vehicles. Truck was toast, none of the other vehicles nor either tree was affected. The resulting EM pulse took out one network printer, the NICs of three computers, some ports on a switch and scared the hell out of about 30 people. Now I think twice about lightning. -ecoli
Yay! At least you're up again, we hates it when our "Randal" is down ;) <3 ::hugs you:: It's your Canadia-Day-Eh treat! ^_^ -TranceGemini
I have a UPS so I didn't think all that much about a certain storm that was pummelling the area. Watching/listening to the Flash-crack-rrrrummmbbble was even sort of a nice background to the game I was playing. One seemed a bit close but the lights didn't even flash. My wife arrived home and told me there was a tree on fire in the neighbors yard! Fried THEIR laptop, didn't bother mine a bit! -TieDyedDinosaur
Lightning strike near my house about 10 yrs ago fried the following items: 1 PC, 2 TVs, 1 phone, 1 stereo receiver and 1 submersible septic tank pump. THAT was fun. -purplelinguist
hate working cqnada day... i';m here till 11pm. this blows. -Harm
Damn Purple, now thats just shitty. -FrontSideBus
<NewsAnchor>"In other news, a septic tank exploded in a local property. The insurance company is considering this a 'Terrorist Act of God'. In other news...</NewsAnchor>
Man... I'm losing it. Having to work on Canada Day DOES suck. Uh oh... my customer was talking and I wasn't paying attention... oh well, I fixed it. -renaultguy
You fixed the customer? -missourimule
Did you call Rotchchild Sewage and septic sucking services to repair it? -ShujinTribble
You fixed the customer? -missourimule
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4.
Cable monkeys
This story requires picture to appreciate it's full horror.
See the break room post: http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?p=46841
[By: smellystudent / 2005-07-01]
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I was amazed that they didn't use automotive 'clamp-splice' blocks! -TieDyedDinosaur
That is just......WRONG!! -rokitt
Ok, now this looks REASONABLY similar to something I would do, just as a prank. Of course, my final comment would be, "You said network. You didn't say a good one, or it worked." Then I'd go back and actually do something good. -MaskedMarauder
I would be truely amazed if that thing could reliably pass any packets. Of course, where I'm at the wiring doesn't look too much better. If they ever decide to have it fixed, it'll be some good coin in my pocket. -deskmonkey
I'd say pull the wires. Worse comes to worse, you can use it for 1) low voltage lighting for your office, and 2) a FSKING GARROTT (sp?) on that cuntsmear that did the wires in the first place! (Dear sweet merciful CRAP! At first, I thought it was a buncha COAX cables being used for each pair.) -ShujinTribble
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6.
Caffeine is your friend
Oh yeah!!
The day is young. The starfishes are lined up ready to whine & neep. However, after 2 large cups of Raseberry Mocha coffee & a 20 oz of Diet dew in the space of 2 hrs, I am "Caffiene Man"! Stupidity bounces off my skin. Whines go ignored. Bring on the customers for today is a good day to hunt starfish![By: Chazdonna / 2005-07-01]
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A few days ago I made a rather interesting discovery: Sweets called XXX Extreme,with Taurine and Caffeine, ie. Red Bull in tablet form: combined with nicotine and americano these sweets bring out palpitations in even someone with a near terminal caffeine addiction :D -tuirrenn
And that's a GOOD thing! -TieDyedDinosaur
4 monsters + 3 NoDoz in 3 hours. I think I need to either cut back or get more caffine. Not sure which -getoffmyphone24
No such thing as too much caffeine G.O.M.P. -Torinir
There is too much sugar though. I, one late night while playing D&D, created Ultimate Pop Tarts. One pop tart, plus thick layer of favorite jelly/jam, then the other pop tart. Tasted great, but when I woke up I was shaking and the room looked like it was vibrating. I had to get my mom to call in sick for me as I was in desperate need to sleep it off or die of diabetic coma in my sleep. -MaskedMarauder
My kids make Peanut-Butter pop-tart sandwiches! -TieDyedDinosaur
But isn't a Peanut-Butter Poptart sandwich, just a PB&J? Hey, that does sound good! -MaskedMarauder
If you want a real buzz try snorting some Folgers Freeze Dried coffee. -atomicbill
On a campout a while back, some of the kids forgot the eggs. They invented 'Polish toast'- bread with sugar and syrup. -LaserGuru
My personal favorite: Starbuck's Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans. Had about twnety of them one afternoon. Never new I could type that fast! :-) -TubPorsche
Snorting Folger's?! O_o Try a venti caramel latte with three extra shots...mildly surprised the barista didn't make me sign a waiver for this one (ZING!) -Dreamstalker
I'm drinking a cup of black coffee. The only things in it are coffee and water. Does the business! -modeski
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7.
Food for computer
A good friend of mine got $1500 for a computer for graduating HS. I old her she could get a very good computer for that if she went online and bought the parts and I put it together for her(she's HOT as hell so I don't really mind, as long as I can appriciate the view :-D ). Well due to location its a LOT cheaper to have the parts shipped to her grandmother's house in Broxlyn(about a hour away). She askes me to go up to get the parts with her. She confims everything with her grandmother she calls me back with this statement:
"Three things, One question, Do you like Eggplant Parmagan(sp?)?(Yes, of course one of my favorites) One warning, She is a full blood old Italian Grandmother.(Uh-no) and One Order Be Hungry"
This is all happening tommorow. Why do I think I'm not going to eat much at the party/barbecue my other girl friend is throwing on Sunday?[By: vrek / 2005-07-01]
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Your OTHER girlfriend? Pick one soon, or you'll lose them both! -EagleEye
I've done this a few times. Eventually I decided that Monarch Computers could assemble the case, power supply, motherboard, floppy and a bit of memory and 'burn-in'. Even with shipping it was within $100 of what I thought I could do myself. The hard drives, video, dvd burner, etc, I could get cheaper and put in myself. There is a certain amount of overhead in 'piecemealing' a complete system. And that assumes that all the parts 'like' each other! Some combinations of MB, processor, memory, video and sound just don't play well with each other! -TieDyedDinosaur
EE- Neither are really my girlfriend, just good female friends. Although I fooled around with both. And I build computers for a living although the place I work at is a rip off so I am just doing it on the side for her. -vrek
I wish I had that kind of luck. Only ones that come in here are close friends I have too much respect for and old people. *sniff* -MaskedMarauder
ahhhhhhhh, FF's. -burrkiss
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10.
I got a NEEWWW MOOOUUUSSSSEE!
No, not the kind of mouse we'd like. Just moved into the new house and found the previous residents didn't take all sentient forms of life with them. I just got a call slipped edgewise into my queue from home - "There's a mouse in the kitchen!! A MOUSE!!" That's nice, hon. While you're looking for computer parts, see if you can find my punchdown tool with the 110 blade? Thanks! [By: gotpasswords / 2005-07-01]
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So they left behind a cat toy! -TieDyedDinosaur
You can borrow one of my cats if you want. They are spoiled, but dont travel well. So bring your own steel reinforced travel carrier. -MaskedMarauder
Well, I can have Cat5, but that's the limit, since I've also got Dog1. The last time I tried using Dog1 with any variant of Cat other than Cat5, which happily stays within the walls, resulted in severe packet collisions. -gotpasswords
I hear Cat3 and Cat6 get along with Dog1 just fine. -OgdenTechGuy
LMAO @ gotpasswords! -purplelinguist
I hope you'll use a humane trap. -ch41nbr8kr
is a shotgun humane? turning the subject into goo in 1/8th of a second has got to be "pretty" painless. -drachen
I'd offer my cat but we have no actual proof that she's able to even catch mice, let alone know what to do with them after she's caught them. -pixel
My Cat5 goes into a wireless converter so you can just connect it at your house! -TheMage18
I'd offer my cat, but he's dead.. I mean alive.. I mean dead.. I mean alive.. I mean... Maybe I should just leave him in this box and hope for the best -ShujinTribble
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11.
To T-Mobile UK - mixed messages.
To Andrew (manager at the Wales call-centre) who took the time and trouble to cut through all the bullshit and get someone to sort out a ludicrous situation created by an appallingly buggy website and an arrogant 'ivory tower' attitude by its maintainers - Thankyou very much. To Jamie (techie based at the same site - I think) who spent so much time fixing and re-creating the buggered-up profiles resulting from the fuck-up exactly as I needed them whilst on the phone to me at the same time - Thanks a lot mate. To the bunch of incompetent, lazy, stupid, lying cretins at the outsourced Glasgow call-centre that (a) caused the problem in the first place, and (b) ducked, dodged and used every trick in the book to get me off the phone and thus avoid having to get off their lazy arses and rectify their mistakes - BOLLOCKS.
[By: Gromit
/ 2005-07-01 ]
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What does "bollocks" mean? -EagleEye
http://tinyurl.com/cdeqj -Gromit
Success stories of the call centre - nice one mate! -CommanderData
Hmmm... clicking on Images is... disturbing. -LaserGuru
My god, I hate trying to understand british english. It makes redneck look less messed up. (hides in his soundproof LART shelter) -MaskedMarauder
Images IS quite farked up. Think of bollocks this way. "Come over here and suck my bollocks" shortened to Bollocks. Sound more offensivly American? -burrkiss
Redneck LESS messed up? Please... be honest... both are buried in slang! Although... there IS cockney... <Unfolds Jetsons Compact LART Shelter> -renaultguy
while both redneck and brit are entirely unintelligible to a refined genteel person such as ones self i feel i should point out that maybe in this case it was a case of a bad tradesman blaming...... -starfishmagnet
Oh wow. I work for the same outsourcing company that runs the T-Mobile helpdesk in Wales and I will ensure that Andrew & Jamie both get to see this!!! It makes such a change to get positive feedback once in a while, I'm sure they will appreciate your comments. I'll make sure their manager sees it as well. -Smegger68
*Blasts Cola all over his monitor* You find useful ppl in a T-mobile call centre?!? *watches a squadron of pigs fly overhead* <bg> <think i'm gonna potter off to the LART shelter just in case> -Armakuni
Hey Gromit, I work in glasgow. Direct me to the call centre and I shall administer LARTS-a-plenty -modeski
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12.
Spyware makes me money!
Excuse the lack of formatting. My butt seems to have been reduced in size and my pants keep falling down. (stay away Burkiss!) I am a fallen man. // Anywho, I get a call from a guy whose computer I had saved from ending up in the scrap heap a couple of years ago due to irritable bowel syndrome (he had his head up his a$$). It seems that he had purchased a new Hell computer and switched his ISP over from AOHell dialup to BeepBeep broadband. He was getting a lot of pop ups and he wanted me to come over and clean it. Sure, sez I, no problem. // At the appointed hour I show up at his domicile, get ushered to the new machine, am told that I have a free hand with it. P4 1.7, 256Mb, WinXP Hole. Not bad. Boots up to the log in screen, I select his name and it takes 10 frelling minutes to get to the desktop!!!! I timed it! // Okay, I sit down and begin to check it out. He has McAfee Internet Security but only has the anti virus portion installed. There is something called "Spyware Nuker" by TrekBlue popping up. I check Task Manager and something called Addestroyer is in memory. NO FIREWALL. I ask him about the McAfee and he tells me that the BeepBeep teck that came out and set up the modem and computer sold it to him. Told him it would keep him safe! (Yeah, I know all about rule #1) // I insert my USB Memory stick into the port on the front (ewwww... I feel dirty!) load Adaware and run it. 950 objects on the first pass! I let it do it's thing. Reboot and let it run again taking out another 200 or so. Get to the desktop MUCH faster. Load HiJackThis and disable Spyware Nuker and Addestroyer along with many other questionable items that I know are not good. Load Spybot 1.4 AND IT WON'T EVEN RUN!!!! Still getting a few pop ups. // I give him the bad news. Nuke and pave. // I hand him the bill. $120.oo US just for that day. I took pity on him and told him I would pick up the computer, back it up, nuke, pave, reinstall software, install Kerio firewall and any AV software he wanted and return it to him all for the amazingly low price of $60. // Cha-ching!!!! My beautiful bride says that I can put this money in my motorcycle fund.[By: ecoli / 2005-07-01]
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Nuke and Pave? For that? Wimp... :) -EagleEye
your cheap. My store its $295 for a backup/format/restore. And thats in addition to the $165 for adware/spyware removal. Not to mention the cost for someone(me) to come to your house and do it. -vrek
No. Just lazy. And there is a stupidity tax included. -ecoli
I have begun weighing my time and brain cells against what these SF screw up. Then I come up with a compromise that won't leave me brain dead, gives me some opportunity to come back and make still more money off of these walking/talking techno zombie types, and I bill 'em after a reasonable amount of effort at fixing the problem. The nuke/pave/reinstall would have been $120.00 all by itself ( i have several automated processes for installing end-luser software that speeds things up ). While I might work at fixing it out of some obsessive/compulsive desire to know what is broken, I find half the time that I just don't give a sh1t. -ecoli
I charge 4 hours (min) for a nuke and pave. Sure, some of that is spent watching TV while the machine churns, but it's still 4 hours.... ;-)
-Divinar
looks like you bought a bunch of food from that money. Or atleast for somereason you ass just got HUGE!(and no it wasn't me) -vrek
Sure, you can pick it apart and avoid nuke-n-pave, but what about the other paying customers? I charge a min 2 hours nuke-n-pave... while I'm usually moving on to other things. Spending six hours ripping out bugs by their tentacles can be fun and educational, but suicide in the dollars and sense department. -GIGO
Wow! You're right vrek! My a$$ got ginormous! Whoa! I don't know who did it, but I thank them VERY much. As to ripping spyware/malware out of computers, there is a point when you can't ethically tax the luser for their stupidity. Well, maybe not, but there are only so many hours in a day and other people are in need also. -ecoli
vrek, if you work at Best Buy, leave and never come back. Please. -YellowDart
Vrek: Sounds like you work for "The Geek Squad" -kryliss
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14.
For those who want "force wrap"
The other day I posted a comment about I used force wrap to fix a page who's formatting has been broken (as in, now you have to scroll left to right to read the comment or post)
Here's the link:
http://www.squarefree.com/bookmarklets/zap.html
locate the "force wrap" button and simply drag it to your button bar.
normntaz and illiterate had wghiteboarded me, so I thought I'd share! :) [By: rokitt / 2005-07-01]
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"Use the force, wrap. Stretch out with your formatting.." -illiterate
LOL@illiterate !! Thanks a lot! I had to clean my screen anyway, I suppose! :D
-rokitt
Like the deleet function... help translate from all of the AOL kids... -renaultguy
isn't 'force wrap' the power that jedi use when preparing christmas presents? -Shaede
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15.
How not to spend the companies money ...
I work at a hospital - and one of the new things is that they are selling the replaced computers to the employees for a small amount. We had a fix-it-ticket to replace a computer in the OR area. It wasn't high ont he list, but it was for someone else. They spent $50 to purchase a computer we were trying to remove from the hospital to place back into the OR to replace their old computer. Then they were going to re-imburse the person who bought the computer through the Hospital. So in short - they were going to spend hospital money on an outdated computer that was already purchased by the hospital 3 years ago. We only found out after they replaced the computer and asked us to place office on the new computer. What they won't go through to make things work.[By: DesertDBA / 2005-07-01]
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$50 was probably just the tip of the iceberg. They probably also shelled out for software licenses as well! -TieDyedDinosaur
My head hurts after reading that. -Jeckler
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16.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, .......
Oh looky looky looky!!! (Shakes extremely HUMONGOUS posterior) Some body gave me a STAR!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! (Gazes lovingly at butt that no longer fits in his jeans)
It was really horrible down here on terra firma when everyone is up there in the heavens.
Thanks again to my unknown, but muchly appreciated, benefactor![By: ecoli / 2005-07-01]
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<yells> Ecoli got large butts! </yells> </BC> -LinuXtreme
NICE ASS! hehehe nice luck there ecoli! -Harm
<mandatory>i like big butts and i cannot lie...</mandatory> - and welcome to the constellation!!!!!!! -timelady
Oy fat-arse! Quit yer braggin' and move over - you're blocking the light. -Gromit
I don;t mind the low-rider jeans there, ecol.. but did you HAVE to put on the "Bay City Roller Era Bell Bottoms"?! -ShujinTribble
Those aren't low riders. My ass just got so large that the pants look like low riders! -ecoli
Hey guys, check it out! If you yell REAL loud, you can hear an echo come out of ecoli's butt! ;O -rokitt
To whomever is gifting stars, we the giftees thank you for this latest addition. -MadJack
Oh, and congrats, Ecoli! Welcome to the galaxy! -MadJack
Ok, I'm posting this comment one day late, because I woke up this morning and there was no sun. So I look up, and there it was, up in the sky: The Enormous Ecoli's Butt! Naturally, I fainted... ;-) <Congrats!> -TheGhost
Wahay he's back from his non-star trip. Welcome back -Armakuni
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17.
Another looney wants to sue Linux
Someone else is trying to cash in on lawsuits involving Linux, OSS, the Linux community, Groklaw, and any one else they can think of.
http://tinyurl.com/cjbuc
According to this article in the Inquirer, Jeffrey Vernon Merkey has filed a lawsuit in a Utah court. You can download the PDF of his filing and file it under humor. It is 62 pages of pretty funny stuff!
To quote the article "has taken legal action against Slashdot, Groklaw, Pamela Jones, and a number of other individuals and organisations amounting to around 230 or so."
[By: ecoli / 2005-07-01]
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What? I'm not listed as a defendant? Well, screw him! <g> -RiffRaff
Maybe he missed something in the disclaimers on those various sites that say "we are not responsible for content posted by our members"? -EagleEye
Right wing *and* socialist? Methinks he doesn't know his left from his right. -flapjackboy
This was too good to not submit to Slashdot.... wow I sure hope it gets up there, look for shaneFalco on the headlines page :) -LegalTech
I've not read the entire PDF yet (up to page 15), but the number of typeos in it makes me laugh. -pmillipede
What is neccesary while reading the PDF is some good music. I recommend a Spike Jones album. -MeanDean
Talk about SF. This guy blames everyone except himself for his lot in life. If it didn't validate his sense of persecution I would be all for showing up on his door step and making his irrational fears real. -ecoli
Bah, I say we make him use NOTHING but M$ crap and he's can only interact with the rest of the world through the computer. -Wolfie0827
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18.
Working the holidays..
For all of us that rea working / going to be working on the holidays
It sux but at least we get payed what we are worth. I hate missing out on the parties and drinking , Le sigh.
[By: Harm / 2005-07-01]
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At least you are. I have been stuck in a datacenter for 10 hours now because some braindead starfish dicksplat (thanks for the term CD!) decided to put dns service on two production webservers without telling anyone... -DreadPirate
I had Wednesday off... I worked Thursday 11:30a-10p, I worked today 8a-5p, tomorrow I work 9a-10p, Sunday I work 9a-7p, and if I can sneak out early, Monday I'll work 9a-5p, if not it'll be 9a-8p. -exzyle2k
I have to work noon to 6:00 tomorrow, but then I don't have to be back to work until 1:00pm Tuesday. -RiffRaff
I volunteered to work the 4th. It was either that or run the risk of getting volunteered as 4 others did. At least here we get tripletime. Let's see that's $17.39/hr x 3=$52.17/hr x 8 hrs =$417.36 before taxes. About $325 or so after taxes. Ok I'll take it. My wife needs the money anyway. -atomicbill
I'll be working 8 to 12 noon on 7/4. Triple time for me for 4 hours! YAY! :) -rokitt
I'll be working Saturday 3p to Sunday 9a, followed by Sunday 6p to Monday 8a. Two weeks from now I have a 7 day, 62 hour week thanks to vacations. -snJimboip
I've managed to avoid working the past couple holidays. The extra (easy) money was nice, but the time off is nice too. -purplelinguist
Dicksplat? I prefer the term dicksnot. That much more indicitive of how you *really* feel about someone. After all, a dicksplat can be fun. *grin* lmao -missourimule
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20.
MS AntiSpyware vs SpyBot 1.4
I run system diagnostics on all of my computers (Except Magenta's Mac, of course) on the 1st of every month. This is the first time I've had to do it on my new XP system at work. Now, when I first set it up, I installed Microsoft's AnitSpyware, configured it to run in the background, automagically update itself, and run a full scan every Sunday at midnight. (If I'm at work at midnight on a Sunday, I've got bigger troubles than potential spyware.)
So anyway, I run AdAware, and it finds the usual tracking cookies, no big deal. Then I run SpyBot 1.4, and it finds 44 problems, all of which it removed. I'm talking common names that we all recognize, too, like fastclick, doubleclick, etc. So I then bring up Microsoft AntiSpyware to see WTF is up. It indicates that it last ran a full system scan on June 26th, and "no issues were found."
Gee, color me surprised.
So as soon as I'm done with all of my diagnostic routines, guess what program is being reconfigured to not run in the background. If it's not going to find anything, I don't need it eating up my system resources.
Fucking Microsoft. I'm going to end up buying an OS X system yet.
[By: RiffRaff / 2005-07-01]
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Geez Riff, just go Linux, cheaper than a Mac, more customizable, and you can still use the same hardware -LegalTech
Still weening myself off my XP machine and onto my Mac Mini here. So far there's not a whole lot keeping me in MS land. -TheMage18
Whatever you do, don't buy a Mac. First you get a Mini, then a PowerBook, then you start eyeing the PowerMacs to replace the mini. -ProfessorFrink
I'm running tech support and posting from my Linux computer right now while my Windows systems are down for diagnostics. I might switch to it full-time at some other point, but I'm still trying to figure out how much I loathe XP. -RiffRaff
I'm with Legal Tech here.. I actually setup the Franken-machine (tech tale for another day) for the baby with Mandrax Linux, autoboots into her profile. I figure, if I REALLY wanna go to Mac OS:X, I can just run the FreeBSD boot CD. But then, I figure, what more pain could I possibly go through, right? -ShujinTribble
try Ubuntu, its easy enough for my starfish mom, but you can do so much with it, no spyware, no adware and most importantly, no Borg -LegalTech
LegalTech: Ubuntu is the distro I'm posting from right now. :~} -RiffRaff
hmmm, microsoft! bloatware? THE !? no! never! </sarchasim> -Harm
Microsoft AntiSpyware? Why use a solution from the company that is the cause of the problem? -maciarc
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