Tech Stories Archives - February 2008
The "Finally" LART (aka about damn time)
Those of you who actually read my posts may remember a co-worker I mentioned previously who was stealing accounts from other salespeople. I'd caught her several times and it seemed that she was suffering no consequences for these actions.
Well I have FINALLY received word that she and the company will be "parting ways". Apparently, she will be allowed to buy her current client list from us and then we get to delete her clients and all her clients' inventories out of our warehouse and database.
I'd prefer that she just get booted out w/o anything, but if we can make some money off her and I get to clear all her crap out of my database, then that is still a good thing.
Now, my only concern is that our newest CSR is transitioning over to Sales and she's already "accidentally" put a couple of another salesman's customers into her group. I really feel that she needs a pre-emptive LART to help "encourage" her not to go along the same path as the other one.[By: SillyGirl / 2008-02-01]
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just "accidentally" reassign those people back to their owners. along with a few for good measure. -gashach
and reassign some dead or nearly dead accounts to her, you know, just to keep the books evened up. -ecoli
"Accidentally" cc her on an email that mentions how the newly-departed woman became a former employee. -Tekkie
I like Tekkie's idea - then follow it up with an "All is known..." email. <bfek9g> -Gromit
Well I'd worry about sending an email mentioning why the other saleperson is leaving. If it gets to the boss, I could get in trouble for leaking "sensitive" and privileged information or whatever. -SillyGirl
water cooler. "You know what I heard? Totally unconfirmed, of course, but I heard that $bitch was let go because..." -chazz
Alternative method to chazz's which has similar results - Step 1: Tell the biggest gossip in the firm all the details you can. You just had to tell someone about it. Step 2: Stress how vital it is that this be kept quiet and no one hears anything. Tell them how much you know you can trust them to keep it off the radar. Step 3: Sit back and watch the fireworks as unsubstantiated rumours flood the place (ain't human nature grand!) while you deny everything (aka Profit!) No, of course I'd never do anything like that! <bfeg> -Loon
Let the new client burn her own bridge. -imawitch
I'm Alive! NT/OT
Surgery went as well as scan be expected. The 2.5hr ride home was the worse part. I got to keep my eye, but the nerve and 75% of the blood vessels are no longer there. Today's month end at work, so of course, I'm here... Not really bushy tailed and sure as hell not bright eyed. Thanks for the karma.[By: TechnoTherapist / 2008-02-01]
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*hugs* and healing Karma to you. Glad you're ok :) -katinahat
Glad you are okay and got to keep the eye. One Keg-O-Karma Recovery edition coming your way! Keep us informed, okie dokie? -ecoli
Good grief, man! You have more fortitude than I would, given the situation. Heal well and quickly, friend. -Tekkie
It's not so much a question of fortitude but rather our bosses won't let the Tier-2 folks (me) and the Business folks (TechnoTherapist) go during Month-End! -Silphion
Here's my specially-patented "Healing & Dealing" KarmaCorona for days when you feel like crap but have to work anyway. Get well soon. -stpatience
Glad that things went well for you. Replacement KarmaBats are on their way. -MrsTechnoVamp
best wishes on feeling better soon. -virusjtg
Good to see you're still alive. Have you been golfing reciently < http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22949721/?GT1=10856 >? And if that doesn't help you pas the time, There's always " http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-aI1Ch39ZU " ... (All links are SFW) -Necros
Lots of healing KarmaKola on its way to you... 'grats that the surgery went okay! -Seamyst
Glad to hear you're still among us. -BarmanVarn
Glad to hear that all went as well as could be expected. Definite kudos for being at work the following day! You didn't exactly have a minor operation. -Loon
Hope you get to feeling better. -imawitch
Im sending out a 2 liter of KarmaKola Classic, chock full of real cane sugar and unnamed but beneficial additives. (Please do not operate heavy machinery or discuss politics with inflexible co-workers while under the influence of KarmaKola. If you develop symptoms of a rash, thats on you. See a doctor and get rid of it. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.) -Darkridr
the karmarsupials that were sent will be hanging around to ensure good healing:) glad you came out of it relatively ok, mate:) -timelady
Someone has the right idea about Vista
Couldn't help but post this as most of you will empathize. http://tinyurl.com/yqp6tk - a computer repair store that removes Vista from computers for customers. Even little fishies get the idea eventually.[By: ecoli / 2008-02-01]
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I've been doing that since day one. "The PC comes with windows Vista" "I don't want that" "Then for 120 bucks I'll install XP for you." -LazyLemming
*blinks* Heeeeey! I hadn't thought of actually advertising it! "We clean your PC from viruses, malware and Vista. Today's special: with every Vista cleaning get a free Linux." -TheGhost
So i posted a couple of days ago her e-mail regarding priorities, that we should set up her dual screens for her underwriting team as shes been waiting long before the server failed.
well its all pressure on the server front as its some funky apache proxy, load balancer doodad that i've never touched before so rebuilding from notes realating to FreeBSD 5.4 on FreeBSD6.3 so is taking a while to work out the kinks.
another call today
HR:Wheres my dual screens.
HR:you said you'd do them Friday it's Friday
Me:Ok i didn't say that i said i would reassess hardware requirments Friday and 2 machine sare due for replacement so i'm trying to factor that in too. not to mention get server redundancy back in before the company goes down entirely.
HR: Well all i know is i have an underwriting team that have been promised dual screens, that makes them more efficient and there job easier and they are just left behind everyone else.
ME: ok 1) servers = company infrastructure without it you lot don't have jobs regardless of making easier. 2) i have priorities for the entire company not just underwriters. 3) Senior admin now deal and prioritises all jobs and should not coming to me in the first place. GOOD BYE.
She's really pissing me off now, typical fishy selfish, obnoxious attitude, noone else exists. but typical of her if you gave her everything she asked for, she'd still moan about the color.
[By: r3tude / 2008-02-01]
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Next time she calls, let her know you've directed her request to someone else, and forward that call to someone who'se more familiar with the danger of the servers. (Like... HER boss). -Silphion
.....blue. The ceiling....should definitely....be....*blue* (old joke)
Efficient = work on one monitor, Solitaire on the other, instead of the old system of Solitaire on one monitor and work between games? -Mushroom
The fishies don't know how to use alt tab <.< >.> so obviously they need a second monitor because they couldn't see their solitare game otherwise. -Olorin
Error Code 7784-453C8756g: You need to be logged in as Administrator of the WHOLE FREAKIN' WORLD to give your puny request priority. -MacDaddy
Give her a bloody mirror and tell her to whine/moan/cry to the person in front of her. Show her something that sparkles to distract her. Upload gay midget porn onto her system and get her fired. You pick. -imawitch
They want two monitors? Give 'em what they ask for, but not what they want... Find yourself some 14" monochrome CRTs and have a great day! -exzyle2k
Congratulations! You've been selected as a test site for DSSC (Dual-Screen Single Chassis) upgrades! To apply this upgrade, please take the roll of electrical tape (I left it on your desk) and break off a piece approximately equalling the height of your monitor. Carefully attach the electrical tape to the center of the display, bisecting it horizontally. Welcome to a more productive you.. -illiterate
make 'em see double with a little applied aluminum -stiffarm
I don't like today.
I woke up late.And that was just the first 2 hours of my day.
The program I download every Friday morning is being withheld indefinately due to an asshat flaming the download site.
I forgot my breakfast.
Drove to the gas station for a sandwich & my full coffee cup dumped in the cloth passenger's seat.
When I got to work and opened the building, the stench of sewer gas was overwhelming.
The PFY took a combustible gas detector around the building & discovered the gas was actually propane from a faulty forklift tank.
I opened the office window to air the place out & some clown decided to idle their monster truck right outside.
P.S. It's 1F (-17C) outside.
The power supply in one of the servers is making "peep" noises.
[By: Tekkie / 2008-02-01]
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Ah, *hugs*, come into pond life and I'll buy you a hot cocoa. -SillyGirl
Look on the bright side....it's FRIDAY!!!!! -TubPorsche
sounds like a monday. -supportrobot
*hugs* Sounds like your day's going to be a doozy. -Seamyst
I feel your pain. 90+% of my users are working from home today due to weather. We have major offices in St Louis, Chicago and New York. The VPN is overloaded and is dropping connections, etc. -SirJosh
"The PFY took a combustible gas detector....." first off... How the hell did you score one of those?! and B... Thank the Prime Coder you HAD one of those! -ShujinTribble
I hope that the rest of your day has been/is not as bad. Thank $diety that you noticed the gas leak (as if you wouldn't!)as I've worked with people (a term used VERY loosely) who wouldn't have, even if you told them to put the broken hose in their mouth and breathe deeply - a thought which definitely crossed my mind when asked "Why can't we switch the lights on? It's dark in here!" The explanation of flammable gas + O2 + spark = FOOM! wasn't understood. I left the building just in case! -Loon
*hugs and cocoa with a coke chaser* -evolvedstarfish
Take the faulty propane tank and wedge it somewhere tight ( like your bosses butt) and light a match. Then go get some chocolate and the world will look 15 times better. -imawitch
*more hugs and cocoa with lots of happy thoughts for Aunty Tekkie!* -taieena
I'm not very good at baking cookies, but to cheer you up I'll give it a try. ... *offers Tekkie a basket with some amorphous, badly burnt things, with streaks of... I hope it's chocolate... 0_0 * ... On second thought, have some Ectokarma instead. I made it mint flavored. -TheGhost
a pot of timelady's cure all chilli hot chocolate (not too chilli hot, just tangy!). warms the soul and the body. sounds like your bad day karma was all used up early this month! -timelady
Square peg in a round hole...
So I'm speaking to a $starfish who managed to b0rk his device, and I'm remoted in trying to fix the issue. I need the customer to connect the device to a USB port so I can use one of our engineering apps to rebuild a specific part of the system software. The customer swears up-and-down that he has it connected properly, but Device Manager says otherwise. I ask the customer to disconnect the cable from both the computer, and the device, and reconnect both. The customer complies, once again stating that he does indeed have it connected to a USB port on the computer; Again, device manager disagrees... Finally I ask the customer to describe to me what the port he has the cable plugged into looks like...
SF: "Well I have two ports that I've tried now. One says A IOIO, and the other says B IOIO. Neither one worked. The top part of the port has 5-pins, and the bottom has 4... I have it plugged into the bottom 4."
Me: "Sir, that's a serial port you're trying to plug that cable in to. That will not work. You need to plug this into a USB port!"
SF: "OHHH, HERE IT IS! Yeah, it's on the bottom of my tower..."
If I wasn't anxious to get to my break, I might have lart'd the fool![By: spikejnz / 2008-02-01]
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Oh well, I guess it's "any port in a storm"... -Foyle
Square pegs! Square pegs! Square, square... pegs! (Always never quite right.) -Mushroom
How the hell does that even work? -illiterate
Dsubhuman port -stiffarm
Coding: Hack'n'Slash vs Finesse
I'm pretty sure this hasn't been posted before, if it has I apologize... and since no star == no LOTD (not that I'd want to bump Coyote off of the main page anyway, this isn't THAT good!), it goes here. 2 basic approaches to coding, as the title suggests: http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/All-For-19-Seconds.aspx .[By: ZorglubZ / 2008-02-01]
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"Hack, Slash!...... Get Bob." </obligatory> -MadJack
Maybe gomer thought he could shave a few compute cycles off the library's performance... but I doubt it. -illiterate
Microsoft to buy Yahoo?
They just mentioned it on the news and that Yahoo is "considering it"
Microsoft really should take a look at Rome and how overexpansion eventually leads to collapse.
If Microsoft buys Yahoo, there going to frell it up just like they've done to Office. All their versions of office had a certain level of consistency and now Office 2007 has like tripled the calls I get for "how do I print?" "how do I save?" "how blah blah blah"[By: SillyGirl / 2008-02-01]
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Ah, the classic "improve it until it no longer works" syndrome. -Tekkie
If it ain't broke, fix it until it IS broke. Oh, damn. I think the innerweb just blue screened. -ecoli
If M$ *does* buy Yahoo, then I think it'll be the perfect impetus for me to dump my five-year-old spam-filled Yahoo address and switch to GMail. -Seamyst
I am insisting my family stays with Rogers ISP instead of Bell, not just because I'm on cable and Bell is DSL, but because Bell is hotmail and MSN and Rogers is Yahoo, not M$. -evolvedstarfish
I honestly think they're already there. They have to keep expanding now or people will start asking awkward questions like "Does any of your products actually work the way it's supposed to?" Typical sleight of hand, draw the eye away from the mess they've made so far and focus on the new or proposed additions to their repertoire. -Loon
It's the eternal war for World domination between Micro$oft ang Gloogle. The thing is, which is the lesser evil? (And no, gloogle is not "not evil". Remember when they bought Doubleclick?) So, if you had to choose between Hitler and Stalin for overlord, which one would you root for? :( -TheGhost
If you can't beat 'em, buy all competition until you're bigger than 'em and claim because you're bigger, you're better. -Cyan
Microsoft business practice = Might makes right. -Stryker One
When it comes to M$ vs. Google I sued to root for google because of very personal reasons.. nwo those reasons are making mwe want to root for M$. Funny ole world. (And I am sure there's a joke here to be made about "thos eyahoos over in redmond...") -Ara
Well they can't screw up programs like messenger any worse that yahoo has already done.....or can they? -imawitch
TG: Adolph was "I hate my own people! Eliminate them!" Joseph was "I hate everyone who opposes me! Remove them!" Which was more honest? Neither were nice people (both megalomaniac dictators) but I'll take Stalin over Hitler any day (at least you knew you were screwed before you started, no promises of liebensraum). Ara: the "Yahoos in Redmond" is oh so appropriate! "What can we sell to them next? Windows Vista!" (aka Windows Fista, spiked glove no lube edition - I can't remember which TSC member described it that way but it's oh so accurate!) -Loon
AW, crap... I really do hope that MS don't buy Yahoo because I've got decent service from yahoo. Whereas MS... *shudder* -Helix666
Be careful with %EXAMPLENAME%
In a meeting the other day with some folks in our lab, the discussion turned to how we were going to migrate user data in a domain change. The simple solution was a rename of the profile. In giving an example, I explained that domain1 uses firstname.lastname for login ID's, and domain2 is lastnamefirstinitial. "For instance, a user on domain1 logs in with Joe.Blow, so once we switch to domain2, he'll log in as..." and before I could stop myself "BlowJ...and.... crap" as laughter fills the room from those attending as well as the two folks on the phone who we just met. Luckily we were able to get back on track rather quickly, but it was a little warmer in the room from then on.
[By: Jeckler / 2008-02-01]
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Wow, uhm....yeah....*sends some karmic hugs your way* oh..and a *HIGH FIVE* that's an awesome slip, thanks for the chuckle. -ponch
Ooo, nicely done, Jeckler! -ManyHats
I'm glad I had put my drink down BEFORE I read this! -NanoGeek
I do believe I may start using a different example name. This is a riot though. -PCChaos
I bet THAT "went down" well! -lineswine
Ouchy - OT
Just read the news. Looks like Dell announced they are closing their Edmonton call center. 900 people out of work in May. They are 'consolidating its global operations'. Fancy speak for screwing over canadians, and giving jobs to india? I wish much luck to the staff there in securing new jobs. [By: TekkieNerd / 2008-02-01]
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Hey! My company resembles that comment. It's not the one cited in the story, but almost exactly the same difference. I get to coordinate the whole damn thing, and then probably get my slip when it's over and done with. bastards. -AngrySup
AngrySup > "First rule of assassinations: Kill the Assassin". -Stryker One
Ah Dell. When I buy a new laptop won't be one of theirs. -Starfury
Ah, that is something I fear more with each passing day. My company moved all of their customer service to India not too long ago. Tech is next, I just know it. -sandpuppeteer
For every one competent North American technical support agent, two incompetent Indian technical support agents will be hired for 1/4 of the price and 1/32 of the support! -Caboose447
could be worse.. could be manilla. they speak more intelligible english there, but good luck finding a decent tech. -illiterate
i've had better luck with the techs in the philippines (btw-most of the call centers are in the southern philippines) than in india... (of course having lived there for several years might have given me a biased opinion) -cyberblade3001
I think there is 1 or 2 Philippines-based members of TSC. -lineswine
Good luck onj that.. we just lost our chat to Mumbai.. or whatever its called now. sigh.. global economy = screwing your customers and keeping the extra dosh. -Harm
Sorry to hear that. Welcome to my situation. -Grembo
i resemble that remark, lineswine...
the problem stems from their hiring policies, illiterate. they hire people based on how good they look on paper, not their actual experience. so the guys with college degrees get in, and the really good techs with only tech school training don't. -slowANDeasy
Stone knives and bearskins
(First of all, sorry Ghost, I realized I had tmi in my original post)
Heh, so, my day started out like Tekkie's
IE, a whole lot of not fun
Unfortunately, mine stayed that way for most of the day
Now, I DO do some phone support, but, most of our phone type support is done while we use logmein.com
Of course, there are some customers who don't HAVE 'net access, soooo...
Anyway, the first insane call was from this id10t who wanted me to transfer his carpet cleaning DOS based program to his new XP Pro desktop
So, he brings me in this... thing, I think it was an Abacus 1000
It might have been the 500 model though...
AND he wanted it to also PRINT from that same DOS program
OK, fine, I'll entertain yer absurd discussion... fer $125 per hour I say, hoping the price will make him change his mind and upgrade his program to something created in the 21st century
To no avail. Now, get this, the new version of his software only costs $500, so, I tell him that I estimate that this job could take up to 5 or 6 hours (@ $125 per) (more hoping he'll decide to make an intelligent decision, which would probably be the first in his poor, useless, life) to which id10t-zilla readily agrees
A guy named, uh, Fred, ;) does our radio ads. He came on-board cuz he's a geek and he used to do the "Geek Update" every thursday, so, we got alot of emails going back and forth, and then when HIS pc crashed (an adobe update somehow fragged his registry, and I repaired it in about 5 minutes with my precious ubcd4win) so, he already knew that I could do what I claimed I could do.
About 8 months later, a salesman from WXXX came by (who just happened to be the SAME salesman that the nazi had because he hired ME) and asked if we'd like to do some advertising on their radio station. TheBoss asked how can Fred do ads for a company that he knows nothing about? The salesman told him that I'd already done some work for Fred, and he's already convinced that I'm the best there is :))) (I love it when people actually APPRECIATE my talents) Anyway, the bottom line is that Fred does commercials for us where he actually SAID in one commercial "I don't think there's ANYTHING Spyder CAN'T fix!"
I didn't tell him about TSC
Ok, I cheat, and I take the credit. So what ? I'm a guy. I have an ego. I'd like to say my ego is as big as my dick, but...
In IT, it's not HOW you get the job done, it's IF you can get the job done
I had one boss who called me a weapon, "I point you at a problem and I pull the trigger"
Then I surf TSC...
I ask how TheKingOfDumb heard about us... He said that if, um, Fred, yea, that's the guy's name, likes us so much, he can't go wrong
Ok, so, I've got id10t-kingkong-zilla asking me to take some stone knives and bear skins and make a computer from the 21st century understand what the fuck it was trying to talk about
That was fun
And he brings me this printer that has a bird in it pecking out the letters one dot at a time!
Pal, you are SOoo getting overcharged for this !
I get it finished and printing in about an hour, but, keep it for a week so I can charge him the full 6 hours I estimated, AND I call him once a day to ask irrelivant questions so he thinks I'm having a problem
I call him, and tell him it's finished, he picks it up and sets it up in "his" office
Turns out he sublets an office in a fedex type office, and he's only there till noon... his complaint... the program doesn't show up as a full screen
Are you insane ?!??!?!
Fine, I go into the properties of the program, and set it to run full screen. Problem solved, Right ?
He wants the program to make the thing take the full screen in a bigger font, which, even though there's a setting for that in XP, it doesn't work in his 900 year old program, but, I actually went down there anyway to try to make it work
The guy isn't happy with the font
Did I meantion that this guy's insane ?
So I set the thing up so that it fills the screen, and now it won't print
I up the ram assigned to the DOS program, and it stll doesn't print
Oh, this is bullshit. I've got 4 other people on hold who also want me to create miracles
I talk to TheBoss, and he says it's bullshit, and what id10t-zilla wants is new billable time
So I go BACK to the place, only to find that he closes at noon, and the only people left don't work for him... BUT there's a chick there who actually knows this anchient peice of shit stone knives and bearskins program, so I ask her to try it for me.
The birdie in the printer just sits there, waiting for a cracker (which is not a statement of race, it's just something that you put in soup) and doesn't print one single thing. So I go over and TURN IT ON
Which, surprisingly, works !
At which point, I leave.
I go back to the shop, tell TheBoss what happened, and he says...
"Fine, I'll go down there, tell him it's impossible, and sell him a $500, 15 year old, win98 pc
Ya GOTTA love it when the boss backs ya up ;)[By: Spyder19 / 2008-02-02]
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"15 year old, win98 pc" I think your calendar is different to mine. -lineswine
Buahaha! You made me laugh like a crazy last night, and now you made me laugh 'again'. It's deja-lol or something. :D -TheGhost
Lineswine: "15 year-old PC with Windows 98 installed on it." So, what does that give us? 486? 386? -RiffRaff
Man.. FUNK DAT!
Question... why is it that when i open my windows mobile phone, and use the microsoft internet explorer, to open a link to a microsoft proprietary media file, I get a pageful of binary?
Man... FUNK DAT!! Learn to be compatible with your own stuff[By: illiterate / 2008-02-02]
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since when has one MS product been compatible with another? -cyberblade3001
...when MS-Win 3.1 was made compatible with... uhm... Make that EXCLUSIVE TO... MS-DOS -ShujinTribble
Went looking at new cell phones the other day because I'm thinking of upgrading to a more technically advanced one. Found one I liked, until I got to the main screen and saw the (in)famous Windows logo. Do they make a cell phone that runs off Linux? -RiffRaff
Riff: The Motorola V8 (RAZR2) has a Linux/Java-based OS. Here's the page on phonescoop: http://www.phonescoop.com/phones/phone.php?p=1242 and the comparo between the 3 RAZR2 varieties: http://www.phonescoop.com/articles/moto_razr2/index.php?&p=2 Note that this version is only GSM/EDGE. The V9 (GSM/HSPDA) and V9m (CDMA/EV-DO) use the older Moto interface, as found on the RAZR V3 series, KRZR, and SLVR. If you're not a T-Mobile customer, you can get an unlocked model from Moto for $380 (http://www.store.motorola.com/mot/en/US/adirect/motorola;jsessionid=919E63F90B0D89A195958A55F6ED0AA5.mot3?cmd=catProductDetail&productID=93690XQBSA&showAddButton=true), or even the "Luxury Edition" with "snakeskin feel" and 18K Gold accents for a mere $680: http://www.store.motorola.com/mot/en/US/adirect/motorola;jsessionid=919E63F90B0D89A195958A55F6ED0AA5.mot3?cmd=catProductDetail&productID=93691XQBSA&showAddButton=true Looks like unlocked V8's are going for about $270 on eBay. -missourimule
The "unlocked from Moto" link got pooched due to a formatting error, so here it is: http://www.store.motorola.com/mot/en/US/adirect/motorola;jsessionid=919E63F90B0D89A195958A55F6ED0AA5.mot3?cmd=catProductDetail&productID=93690XQBSA&showAddButton=true -missourimule
also look at the rokr e6 and the a1200 from moto. Linux OS. Word of warning, these linux flavored phones.. some of the firmware versions won't work with t-mobile MMS (I suspect the same will be true of AT&T), and last I heard it wasn't fixable. if you own one of these beasts, whiteboard me and I'll hook you up with all the knowledge I have on the subject. -illiterate
I was at the point where I was eligible for a free or discounted phone from the mobile co, and seeing as I'm now permanently employed at a place that likes gadgetry, I started checking things out. Work provides the TechOps group with a Motorola Q, so I played with it... and didn't like it. I started looking at crackberries, and phones with a fold-out keyboard, and phones that'll do almost everything but make the coffee in the morning. Then I realized I don't want to get email on my phone (other than my machines paging me when they're unhappy). I don't want anyone to expect me to be available 24/7 on IM, I don't want to watch anything on a 3" screen, nor do I need to surf the web on my phone. I need it to be a phone, and play sudoku so I can kill time while waiting in queues. I ended up getting another V3 RAZR. And as a bonus, I can keep my LCARS theme. -SalParadise
Friday: It is noon. The library is closed due to snow, and I am sleeping in to celebrate. The phone rings, dragging me out of blissful hibernation. It's Mom. After a brief conversation, the sum of which is her asking about my well-being and me informing her that I WAS ASLEEP, she mentions in passing that $SIL is having problems with the computer. Mom wants me to come over and help $SIL with the herculean tasks I already talked her through over the phone for half an hour the previous evening (namely, file attachment and cut-and-paste), because $SIL is getting frustrated, and my brother has already wished death upon her. I do not say that I sympathize with him, nor do I theorize aloud that he problems likely stem from having the attention span of a gerbil, but I do say that there are six inches of snow on the ground that I do not wish to drive through. I am informed that my brother will be more than happy to pick me up and drive me over there to help.
Have you ever spent twenty minutes explaining the finer points of cut and paste with someone? Have you ever had to explain, five times, exactly what is meant when a login page insists that your password be eight characters long, including at least one number and one special character, and the recipient still responds with "I don't understand"? (I ultimately set it as "$t@rf1$h"). Have you ever had someone argue with you over whether or not a C&P from Word into a text window should keep the formatting? Have you ever had someone argue with you over whether or not bold and italics are, in fact, special formatting? Have you ever wanted to shove a CRT monitor up someone's nose just so they would STOP TALKING? At least I had Imo's pizza on the front end and the assurance that I would be owed a sizeable favor later on.[By: Dante668 / 2008-02-02]
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Buy them one of those nice keyboards that have the dedicated cut/copy/paste buttons... -unrenowned
and modify it so that you can remotely activate the electric shock function. bzzzt! wrong answer... much shorter future calls. -cyberblade3001
"Click on Start, then Help, then follow the bouncing ball. Nighty-night." -Geminii
I have ceased to offer support to people like that. -Divinar
Favours as payment are "forgettable", especially by the person that owes you.
Money, paid at the end of the job = no arguments, no "amnesia", no problem! -lineswine
About explaining the finer points of passwords - in detail and over a (relatively) great length of time: Yes. Daily. To complete kneebiters. I feel for ya, Dante. :) -Seamus
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. -ThinTheHerd
Yes. My mother. -Starfury
My God, your family sounds like mine. I am so sorry. -Shane
For repeat offenders such as this, I will take the time to provide them with a very, very, very detailed step-by-step list... on the grounds that I am never to be asked to resolve that particular problem again. -linkv
Passwords? What do you mean they have "parameters"?! This is ridiculous. Welcome to AT&T. -Vaticus
best way to end ones almost 7 year tenure with ISP
get in at 8 something am. 20 calls in queue. 5 people have called in sick. service level tanked HARD.Myself and the other supervisor are logged into and taking calls from 3 different queues WHILE trying to keep the place running.
and all due to a latency issue off our damned network.
perfect way to end off - everything going down in flames! from here i head off to a Government contract position.. more $$$ NO OT ( thankyouthankyou thankyou!) no benefits BUT - light on the tech side. truthfully i have no real idea as to what exactly the position entails, but its not a call center and its a foot in the door to an actual carrier!
GOODBYE PHONES! GOODBYE QUEUES! GOODBYE UNBELIEVABLY DENSE CUSTOMERS! GOODBYE UNREASONABLE WORK LOAD! GOODBYE RETARDED SCHEDULING! Fuck this caal center shit I AIN'T coming back![By: Harm / 2008-02-02]
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Now don't hold anything back. Tell us how you REALLY feel! Oh, and congrats! -Frazzled
Congratulations, but if it isn't a Call Center and anything like my job, you just went into the fire. -Slartarama
Way to go on new job! Good luck. -PCChaos
That was just all part of Karma transfer. Now you won't spend a damn second with nostalgic thoughts about the place you left! -TieDyedDinosaur
"Wha's this BULLshit?! It don' matter to Jesus!!"</lebowski> -AmazingKreskin
That was friggin' awesome!
So I'm walking a caller (some kid) through configuring Windows Firewall to allow [$application] (even if it's off, it can still be a pain in the ass), but I had to check McAffee first to make sure it's set right.
As we're checking McAffee, shouts of "Hang up the phone! You don't even know what the fuck you're doing!" and "Mom, can I go over there and HIT HIM? He's gonna fuck up the computer just like he always does!" could be heard from the older brother in the background. Throughout, the kid held his ground and kept troubleshooting, so props for him. It was just that with the shouting, I had to keep from laughing my ass off.[By: Seamus / 2008-02-02]
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Was this an old story or did you travel a few years to the past and talk to me? Oh the joys of being told I'm a 'tard then, within seconds, being asked a tech question or to correct the clocks (time). Guess who doesn't live in a shack? -UnderLord
That kid's home sounds like some place I've worked before. -CyBear
Welcome to life in my family. -TranceGemini
Nt/OT, 40s on Tuesday Baby!
The weather liars are forecasting highs in the 40s on Tuesday here in Michigan. Bring on that global warming baby! I'm tired of the highs in the single digits, teens, and low 20s. Give me 40s Tuesday so I can ride my Harley. I'm suffering from a severe case of PMS (Parked Motorcycle Syndrome).[By: crazymactech / 2008-02-02]
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It's supposed to be in the low seventies on Tuesday for us, then back to the forties. Rainy, unfortunately. And yet we're supposed to get six more weeks of winter... -Seamyst
Bah quit complaining. I miss my 3 degree highs, they sure beat the 125 degree highs here. Cold is better than hot, because you can always put more cloths on, but you can only take so many off. -LazyLemming
It's in the 70's here in Central Florida and I LOVE riding my motorcycle. (Can you feel that dig twisting in your ribs?) -ecoli
Went over to a Tech-Savvy friends house, he wanted a NAS drive attached to his wireless network. Ok, sure why not, he pays in cola and pizza, why not.
Get it installed, take out my laptop and hook try to log into his wireless lan. Can't, see it. Before going through the long process of making sure my shit isn't broken, i ask my friend about his WAN, needless to say, i was suprised by his repsonse, keep in mind, he has 2 computers in house, and all he does is play games.
WEP2, 32 character password, MAC Filtered (access only to those on the list), SSID broadcast disabled.
Most Corporate Lans, with secrets to hide, aren't that secure. Here's the Kicker.
He leaves his front door unlocked. Even when there's nobody home.[By: Ratfor / 2008-02-03]
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I smell a prank in the works. -adarklite
WEP2? Not secure. MAC filtering? Useless. Most corporate LANs would use WPA or WPA2, with a RADIUS server behind. Also, the ones I set up? 63 character passwords if they're PSK (i.e., WPA-Personal or WPA2-Personal). SSID broadcast? Takes Netstumbler a whopping, what, 3 seconds to detect the SSID when broadcast is off? Bah. -ralphp1024
Right but something is better than nothing. Your average fishy nieghbor doesn't even change the default SSID and password on the oruter, much less take some precautions. MAC filtering and WEP, if that's all you got will deter the average skiddy. Or the average technician that forgets he has MAC address filtering turned. ;) -Slartarama
I agree. Compared to 99.9% of networks I run into, that's secured. And it'll stop your neighbors from connecting to your network. I once forgot to reset security on my router after resetting it, and by the next day I had 4 people I didn't know on my network. -LazyLemming
I have to admit, I take some of the same precautions in my own wireless network as well. I'd use something other than WEP if it didn't break the wireless bridge I'm using between the router and an access point. Upgrading has been too slow a process... -teivrann
I definitely agree that WEP isn't the most secure protocol. The reason I use it, however, is twofold and somewhat balancing. 1.)It's an easy key to remember and the simplest roadblock will keep people out of it long enough for me to notice they're trying to get in. 2.) I'd always wondered if I would use "WAP with an unsecure protocol" as an excuse at my file-sharing trial. Maybe they'd believe it wasn't me. -YourLastHope
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