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Tech Stories Archives - March 2008
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1.
What if I forget this?
Another part of me died again inside. Customer told me today her password is literally "password". At least make it a little challenging for the wrong people to get in, folks! ... Just refrain from the "12345" comments, please.[By: MisterCommon / 2008-03-01]
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Wow!!! That's a throwback. Now that $BigISP has started requiring numbers and letters for an account password we've been seeing a lot of pa55word or pa55w0rd. -adarklite
One of my passwords at work is "password", it's the same for everyone, we can't change it, and there are things I can't get to with my account, but if I use my supervisor's, TADA! -Darth
I have that problem with a vendor site, they assign the userID and password, and there is no way for the user to change the password. So the generic "password" that they give you, you're stuck with. -ManyHats
"I need your password to get in, Mr. Garibaldi." "It's peekaboo." "Peekaboo?" "Peekaboo." "Isn't that an obvious password?" "Could YOU have guessed it?" "Ooo-kay." From Babylon 5, Ivana talking to Garibaldi. - ralphp1024
at work, we use witness/impact 360/blue pumpkin for scheduling and my password is password. i think everyone's is -areatech
Whenever needed and possible, I try to set LUser passwords to $tarFish86 -GoblinKing
Somebody needs to make a luggage lock that uses alpha characters. That way I can set the combination to my lugage as "password". -CyBear
I did that once, morning coke was too long to be accepted as my NT. I was feeling a little pissy, ok? Changing passwords every month will do that to ya and I had run out of witty things to use. -GoToHellKitty
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2.
Evil Computer
So, I'm helping my girlfriend move in and putting some things into storage at the house that she is moving out of. The basement is FULL of junk. I happen to glance over and see a computer tower. Then I recognize the evil "e" on the side of the case identifying it as an eMachine. I took a look at the thing and discovered the most evil computer in existence. 1. eMachine 2. Celeron processor 3. WinME 4. AOL 5.0 pre-installed. It gave me chills just being that close to it and I think I will have nightmares about it.[By: Acros / 2008-03-01]
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"It's made of Fail, sir." -Seamus
And as you turned your back on this evil machine, you failed to notice the e began to glow an evil red. -ProfessorFrink
"My God... it's full of suck!" -AmazingKreskin
Everyone hates E-Machines, but I still have my old 366 celeron running in a corner as a file server for the home. The thing spent 3 weeks in the bed of my truck with no side panel at one point, and is still kicking, everything's original cept all the HDD's. -LazyLemming
Law of averages says they can't all be crap. Although I still wouldn't want to take those odds. -Stryker One
Biostar Motherboards, Samsung RAM, Seagate or WD HDDs.... It's not bad components that go into it, it's the crapware that is bundled with it that makes them shit. Buy an eMachine, nuke n pave, and you'll have a great machine at a low cost. -exzyle2k
Exzyle2k: Yes, until the Bestec PSU shorts the 5Vsb regulator and burns a hole through your southbridge. Replace the PSU at the same time you wipe the disk and you should be OK. -chazz
kill it with fire!!! -r3dn3x0r
http://nukeitfromorbit.com/ -Divinar
I killed my emachines laptop with orange juice -gastro
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3.
morons on parade
So far today on my on-call weekend I've had two calls back to back. First one was a chick from our Legal department, I gave her the website for connecting to our Citrix applications so she could get on email from home. She says getting "Page cannot be displayed". So do the usual troubleshooting.
Can you get online to any websites?
Yes msn is coming up.
Are you sure, test it by going to www.purple.com
Oh, Page cannot be displayed
OK, when you're able to get to that website you know you're online, then put in the website I gave you, call me if you need help past that point.
Ok, add 1/2 hour to my overtime for that lovely call... [By: redfaery / 2008-03-01]
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*mental note to self* Start pointing users at www.purple.com to test their connectivity...I love it! -fdiskcuresall
Another good one is www.cheese.com -- nobody ever goes there. Probably best to avoid www.pink.com, though. -chazz
From what I've been told, www.purple.com doesn't cache, either. The biggest problem I've ever had anyone complain about from it was that they couldn't click where it said FAQ because it disappeared too fast -- or that they don't see the FAQ link this time and did last time. -lowlyte
I love www.purple.com. I can almost see the blank look on the fishies face until I ask them what they see. And then the palpable relief when they realize it is not a blood covered BSOD. -GoToHellKitty
The only problem I ever had with purple.com was that most of my customers were unable to spell "purple". I shit you not. -linkv
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4.
morons on parade 2
Second call of my on-call weekend less than an hour later, voice mail stating that our guardshack says "the computer was up, then it went down, and it came back up but it's down again" Moron left me the wrong number to call him back. I called and left a message for my fellow coworker who deals with that subsidiary company of ours the most to get the number. Get the number call the guardshack back.
This is redfaery at the helpdesk what's going on?
Panicked voice: Help the computer went down again, I don't know what to dooooo!
Describe what you see on the screen, is it black, no power, what exactly?
I don't have anything but a big clock moving around on the screen, and the rest is black.
Did you try wiggling the mouse?(said with no hint of sarcasm in my voice)
Noooo, I was afraid to touch it.
It's ok to wiggle the mouse, go ahead and try it.
Ooooh, thank you, the computer is working again!
There's another 1/2 hour of overtime in my pocket. Thanks morons, at least you called midday and not when I was half asleep. [By: redfaery / 2008-03-01]
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"Do by all means press every button in sight on the computer - you can't do it any harm at all. Usually it just keeps saying 'Mistake' whenever you press the large key marked RETURN. That just means that the computer doesnot understand your commands..." -- BBC Micro User Guide, Chapter 1. -Chromatix
Computers and sexual innuendos. What more can a geek ask for? -CyBear
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5.
NT/OT - Ouch!
Since today was such a beautiful day, I was outside helping my sister rake leaves and pick up pecans from her lawn. I decided to get the trash bin from the front yard and bring it to the back so I could just put the leaves directly into the bin rather than trying to fill up bags. Naturally, I grabbed the handle and simply pulled it behind be until I got to the back yard.
I popped the top of the trash bin and cleaned up one large pile of leaves then with the lid still open, rake in hand, I started pushing it across the yard toward a second pile of leaves. What I hadn't counted on was that the lid would hit the ground when I tilted the bin. About four steps later. all of a sudden, I'm falling head first into the trash bin, half-full of leaves. I guess I must have made some type of noise (it could have been me laughing), because my sister is asking me, "What in the world are you doing?"
With all the dignity I could muster, I pulled myself out of the trash bin, stood up and told her, "I'm just checking it out to see how much it will hold."
[By: NanoGeek / 2008-03-01]
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Sorry, after posting this I realized I should have put it in the break room. -NanoGeek
You should have told her to leaf you alone. -Stryker One
I vote you leave it here, you added the NT/OT disclaimer, and it IS amusing, so I think that while it isn't relevant to the site, it is still comedy. -evolvedstarfish
Ty evolvedstarfish, I've just been lurking lately, nothing much to post as I've been temporarily taken off the phones - before that, it would have just been repeats of what others have said. -NanoGeek
TOO farking funny! I pictured that perfectly, right as I managed to swallow my ravioli barely managing to keep from gagging on it and hocking it out like a loogie onto my desk. -RA
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6.
this is going on the active desktop
http://g42.org/tiki/tiki-browse_image.php?imageId=87[By: illiterate / 2008-03-01]
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Holden? Is that you? -LoTech
Somewhere I actually have a 1280x1024 of that, animated. Not been able to make GNOME play the animation as a background though :S -fearmyroot
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7.
Ok, so this will date some of us...
Ok, so this happened back just before Christmas 2005, but I got reminded of it on the way in to work last night... There have been a number of occasions on which, despite signage to the contrary, people have stuffed adverts on just about every car in the parking lot, whether under the wipers or post-it-note on the driver window. Just before the holidays, these turn up in droves. The pertinent one here was advertising PCs: Pentium IV systems w/ monitor, keyboard & mouse for between $200 and $300 US. First thing through my mind was that they didn't know their audience; the folks I work with either already have better PCs than you'd get for that money or they don't have the ready cash to buy one. Second thought was that they were stolen, or someone'd ripped off little old starfish. I was almost home, flipping stations on the radio dial, when I realized there'd been no mention of an OS on the flyer, pushed the button one more time, and got that question answered by $Deity in a way that had me laughing so hard I nearly ran off the road -- Uncle Sir Mick carrying on how "You make a grown man cry...." If that didn't accurately describe the likely result of buying one of the aforementioned Pentiums, I don't know what would've, regardless of their provenance. (and 50 bonus points to those of you who get the OS AND, like me, are brave enough to admit to having heard the M$ commercials in question when they were new)[By: lowlyte / 2008-03-02]
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No contest -- Win '95. "Start me up!" advertising Micro$oft's GREAT INVENTION: the Start button! (Like you thought you could confound us with that?) -Captain Trips
That sounds vaguely familiar, but I wouldn't have guessed the OS. Oh well. Who, in their right minds, would waste a P4 with Win95? I mean, XP runs just fine on them - not to mention, of course, any Linux distro you'd care to name. -Seamyst
Would this be a Bob Rivers question, by any chance? -Rissa
Doesn't make sense for them to have installed Win95 unless the reason is because they probably loaded the same copy on each computer (for free) since no activation was required like is the case with XP. Just another $70 shortcut they took. They should have just stayed legal and installed Linux. -LinuXtreme
Didn't figure I could confound anything like *most* of you folks, but there's those as will admit their age and those as won't. Way too many of the people I work with thought "Bohemian Rhapsody" was a new song by a hot new US band when it made heavy airplay the second time around after "Wayne's World" -- if they're even old enough to have seen the movie anywhere but late-night cable... -lowlyte
Seamyst -- Not sure the OS really was Win95, but given prices at the legit used/rebuilt shops at the time, and the way the local fishies tend to refuse to use what smarts they actually have (not that there's much to use), it was certainly plausible... After all, this is a town where a couple of Dell kiosks nearly put themselves out of business trying to sell "Celery" chips; the fish more than once refused to buy 'em because they hadn't been refrigerated. -lowlyte
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8.
I am full of fail (NT)
Today my friend calls, needs help moving a couch out of his house. No big deal I think, we put it in many (10?) years back and it was old when I gave it to him. I arrive and we proceed to move it out.30 minutes later, we have moved it in/out of the room multiple times...but can't get it turned to go out of the house. We both know that it can be done...but we realized last time we didn't care about the walls and he's recently redone the kitchen and damaging the walls is not an option. At this point we realized and accepted our failure at a simple task. But we do have a solution. Next Saturday I will be bringing my sawzall over and we will cut the couch in half so it'll be MUCH easier to move out. Today I am full of fail but next weekend I'll have power tools in hand and will will defeat the couch.
[By: Starfury / 2008-03-02]
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Somehow this reminds me of the couch in Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy... (and the armchair that caused me a herniated disc) -kraftwerk
You took on a task with no power tools on hand? Shame shame shame. -LazyLemming
You took on a task with no power tools on hand? Shame shame shame. -LazyLemming
"Who are you?" "I'm just a man with a chainsaw..." -illiterate
When moving into my current place, I had a couch that was just too long to fit through the door into my new place. It was summer, so we decided to drop it on the front lawn and enjoy a 'redneck' theme week for barbecues and gatherings. The first rainfall put an end to that little game... -teivrann
No possibility of simply, of, I don;t know... Using a screwdriver or three to partially disassemble it? -ShujinTribble
It took us about 45 minutes to get a couch into one of the rentals we had, years ago. When we moved out, I remembered that & decided to remove the patio doors to allow the removal. -Grue
dirk gently holistic detective agency - also by douglas adams. lots of couches in his stories:) -timelady
http://www.gladding.com/rsf/ -Gerund
From the school of reverse engineering: It was put together. It can be taken apart. -MacDaddy
This couch is so 70's in the colors and styling that cutting it in half is a mercy killing. -Starfury
In that case you BEST have a laser sight for that saw...... -ShujinTribble
we recently got a new couch for our house. We were going to get rid of the old one the week after but thats when we got about 2ft of snow.. So we decided to see if the couch would burn in our fireplace. it did :) -neuman1812
I once had to move an old set of wooden twin beds out of the back bedroom of a house to be taken out to the trash. I employed a sledgehammer. There are few things in the world as satisfying as breaking and splintering solid wood with a sledgehammer. .. Just a suggestion. -veaudaux
I have disassembled couches before rather than try to get them out whole, especially since they were old and worthless. They take up a lot less room in the garbage that way also. -TieDyedDinosaur
my favorite is to call the Salvation Army. They haul it away, and you get a tax right. -GoToHellKitty
I am SO flashing back to the 'Friends' episode where they buy a couch, can't get it up the stairs, and return it WRECKED... -MadJack
My clothes washer died. The idiots who owned the house before before me build the laundry room from part of the garage. To get the washer out of the laundry room into the bathroom is a 90 degree turn with no clearance. Same for leaving the bathroom into the hallway. Had to heave the dolly over the washer crawl over the washer and reposition the dolly in the bathroom. Same crap for a short 90 degree turn with no clearance to get the washer to the hallway. Then I had to repeat the BS to get the new washer into the laundry room. Why didn't the idiot just put a door to the laundry room from the garage? And this same fuck nugget who built this had a handicapped daughter in a wheel chair! You would think he would have thought about clearances when building the laundry room. Then again, he is an idiot as I found out why his wife was so eager to sell the place. Her only income was running a day care. He was in prison for doing things to little boys he shouldn't have done and she was going to lose the house if she didn't sell it quick. They had the place almost 20 years and all she got after selling it was $17K. The dude needs to be shot. -crazymactech
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9.
WHY?
Do id10t's call me to fix their puters when they are 1)driving,2)not at home,3)busy yelling at kids, pets, the TV, someone in the other room etc. [By: atomicbill / 2008-03-03]
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Because they know all it takes is for you to press "the Easy Button" and their problems are solve -- without any reason for them to do a thing. -Captain Trips
Hey man... I've got a switch at work that's buggered... Can you help me out? Oh... I can't tell you anything about it until 9:30 tomorrow morning when I see it again. G'night! -exzyle2k
Got a call from one of our users as she was in the back of a cab yesterday. It wouldn't have been too bad if she actually had her laptop with her... but of course she didn't. -SirJosh
"Yes, I have pressed the Magic Button and the problem is fixed. If it recurs when you next switch on the device and are still near it phone back" -Zoomer
I have actually been ten minutes into a detailed walkthru before the *fish admitted that they weren't at the computer at all, they were just writing down the steps so they could do it when they got back to the office. My neural explosion happened right after I asked "...and what does the message say?" and the response was "How should I know? I'm not at my PC." -Foyle
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10.
I feel sick....
http://digg.com/pets_animals/U_S_Soldier_throws_a_puppy_off_a_cliff
warning: this link may cause those of a nervous disposition to vomit. really, it's not a "gross out" video, it's just pure absolute evil....
the guys BEBO profile is linked on the digg comments.
right now, I am so Iangry I could cause this guy some serious bodily harm.[By: Tarantulus / 2008-03-03]
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Unfortunately, everyone knows someone like that. -adarklite
I guess I'm lucky... I don't -Tarantulus
And after watching it a second time. I think the puppy was already dead. And the yelping sounds are probably fake too. Sounds like my brother when he thinks I've hurt our dog's feelings. -adarklite
The puppy's cries were obviously dubbed, which makes the rest of the video questionable as well. Describing the slight rise they are standing on as a "cliff" tells me that someone may have tried to turn an attempt at sick humor into propaganda. -Foyle
"..believe half of what you see and none of what you hear." -ShujinTribble
I have no sound since I'm at work, I sincerely hope that this IS a fake. the only question that leaves is, why? anti-war propaganda? taliban/al quaeda/$terrorist_group propaganda? -Tarantulus
Most likely someone found it and didn't realize it was fake and posted it somewhere where everyone let their own prejudices make their decision for them. -adarklite
bonzai cats anyone? -putahtek
its fake. video is SO edited. -HappyCrappy
its fake. video is SO edited. -HappyCrappy
http://www.snopes.com/photos/military/throwpuppy.asp
Snopes says that this is being investigated. So, as of right now, it's undetermined. :shakes head: Even if it's fake, it's NOT FUNNY. Jerks. -MgrofChaos
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11.
Website layout
Let me start by stating up front that I have issues with companies that lay out their products according to categories such as "Home User", "Small Business", "Medium Business", "Corporate", etc - just give me a list of all your printers, and let ME decide which one I want, okay?
Today I needed to order a replacement ink cartridge for one of the Epson printers, and the part number I had been given didn't seem to match up, so I needed to do a search for it.
Epson's theory seems to be that the best way of doing this is to organise their ink carts by colour. Click on the "Black Ink" link to see a list of all their black cartridges, "Colour Ink" to see a list of all the colour carts, etc.
Not that it lists the printer model against the ink cart, of course.
Yes, I did finally see there was a search by printer model option, but I cannot fathom why anybody would rather see a list of all the black ink cartridges they make, given that only one of them will fit in any given printer.
[By: Diptera / 2008-03-03]
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"I have this HP 78 cartridge I need a new one." "What printer does it fit?" "Mine." "No, what model?" "Bwuh? It's a 78 cartridge ... " That's the logic, anyway. Besides, if you have the cartridge, you know the # on it. Plus, in my case, the "Supported Printer" list for my HP 78 tricolor is only about 65 models long ... -ralphp1024
Given that they are pretty much just giving the printers away because the vast majority of their profit comes from ink sales, it makes perfect sense to organize the page by cartridge with little attention given to which printers they fit. I picked up my present printer for -$50 (that's negative, as in *they* paid *me*) due to the combination of manufacturer rebate and reseller discount. -Foyle
Go to www.inksupply.com. Click on the cfs link and never buy another ink cart again. Only for Epson and some cannon printers. -atomicbill
Cannon printers? Imagine the PPM on those babies! OK seriously... you realize, of course, that the site is meant for starfish, not us, right? -Robster2001
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12.
How about 'No'?
I'm not officially in tech support any more, but I have to share this gem. It's a typical scenario you've probably all experienced, but it's still a mind-boggler.
I was working my non-tech job with two fellow associates. The one woman I normally work with on a regular basis, and I have done some minor (paid) support for, and it has been a very pleasant and profitable relationship for both of us ( don't let your mind stray - she's almost twice my age...).
The other woman, who I don't usually work with (thank the FSM- she's a lazy cretin) overheard us talking about some work I had done on lady #1's pc, and, being a soul-stealing bag of douche(BoD), she proceeded to whip out a blank, unlined sheet of paper, slapped it down on my desk, and said without any preamble:
"Here. I need directions on how to burn my patterns".
Me: Do you have a lighter?
BoD: Huh?
ME: Never mind. What the hell are you talking about?
BoD: I have craft patterns I want to save on CDs, but I'm having trouble".
Me: I could help you, but I'd need to know your OS, your scanner software, and your burning software in order to write you a step-by-step guide. Then I'd have to charge you $75 per hour while I write it and explain it to you.
BoD:
ME: Do you work for free?
BoD:
ME: Oh, that's right- you don't work.
Parasite.
[By: ThinTheHerd / 2008-03-03]
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"Instructions for burning: 1- Make a fire. 2- Jump in it. 3- Die. 4- Have a nice day (optional)." -TheGhost
Since she is 2x your age think of the things she could teach you. -Starfury
Perish in a conflagration! -PTSTech
I agree with Starfury...speaking as an "older" (>30 but <40) woman :-P -grrltechie
OH! BUUUUUUURN!</80's Mantra> -ShujinTribble
It all depends on the point of view grrltechie, you would still be a "younger woman" in my books! -sarge
grrl - Definitly a "younger woman" from my perspective. For the next half year, I *am* the ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything. -Divinar
Ah, so often cow-irkers think they can get help and advice for free. For some you don't mind, because it's appreciated, but others.... OTIS knows best. And Grrrltechie, you'd be somewhere around my age (>35 <40) so we'd be swapping "notes" :) -Enzedder
Yeah...i love people like this...they assume that just because they demand it you're going to do it. Not. The wonderful thing about your position is that you can charge them for your time...i just take the calls as they come in. my favorite line is "apologiesl..we don't support that...call Micro$uck...and be prepared to be charged for the priveledge" Heh. -lavenderrose
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14.
Peyton Place: The Odyssey (Epilogue)
Our laser punch controller is back up and running, and communicating fine with the computer system. What was wrong, you ask?
1: A memory board within the controller had fried. Yes, the same one that fried last time. Yes, the same on that I told them had fried from day one. The repair was handled under warranty and didn't cost us a dime.
2: Communication protocol parameters in the controller's internal programming had been changed to read from the tape reader, not from the communications port. Of course, no one knows who did this. Personally, I'm speculating that whatever errant electric particle was responsible for frying the memory board was also the same particle responsible for scrambling the internal programming.
I have been apologized to, and assured that the source of misinformation from Peyton Place 2 is well known.
Those of you who believe that this will be the last such story I post from Peyton Place will be receiving your complimentary "Loch Ness Monster" picture t-shirts in the mail shortly.
[By: RiffRaff / 2008-03-03]
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Maybe the software in the controller, recognizing that the serial port was fried decided to try it's luck with the tape reader. I used to punch mylar for these things big brothers, cgi milling machines the size of a bus that straddled two sixty foot long rails. The serial connections on those was for diagnostics only. -TieDyedDinosaur
Did you get it in writing? Post a copy on the wall - the "Riff was Right" poster!
-Divinar
I'll take an XL shirt please.... -Wonko The Sane
While the source of misinformation from Peyton Place 2 is well known, it will not be reprimanded (someone high ups kin), they will not be instructed to keep their mongering to themselves, and this ain't the last time that you will hear from them - ever. -ecoli
I love it when a LART comes together ;) -Spyder19
ecoli - Do you know something we don't? Or is that an astute guess? Or is RR cheating on Magenta and used your computer to post, forgetting to change the logged-in name? *Lart shelter, HO!* -Divinar
Serial connections and a tape reader, welcome to the '70s. -Stryker One
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15.
Programmers? Yeah right.
I was looking at code by some co-students learning Java. Some ludicrous examples of code I saw include: a comment stating "Now it'll say $string" after every System.out.println(); someone adding "//please?"" after each line of code, and someone using "(expletive) you!" as an error message.[By: Ichiro / 2008-03-03]
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"//please?" made me ROFL. I've put some pretty ridiculous comments, and use really oddball labels ("DOGWATER", "BLUEBERRIES", and "VANILLAICE" are some of the most common) - the thing is, I've _never_ programmed anything where the source code was later revisited by anyone else. I think I'd be a little more straight-laced if I knew someone was going to be reviewing it. -veaudaux
I've been known to use some wierd comments, but only temporarly while working on something. I find a comment like //yoOverHere and //CheckMe make it much easier to get back to a line using a simple search, but these are never supposed to be seen by anyone else, and are cleared out before a release build! -garwain
Cleared out in theory... but when your project starts encompassing multiple modules and hundreds of thousands of lines of code, sometimes one slips through the cracks. One of my projects contains comments from another dev about the "<name> gone crazy fix"... -chazz
some of the more interesting comments I've seen were for webapps-had lines and lines that started out //this is for IE to do $ ended with //@#$% MS-make a decent browser (this is for IE to do $...) -cyberblade3001
I used to have fun naming each of my classes a different alcohol and then naming each of my variables a different mixer. My teacher couldn't follow it around and told me to give them names that had meaning... -unrenowned
I once accidentally left in an error message that just said "b0rked!!". That error condition should never have happened. Of course, it did. -Rissa
I have a habit of using VB constructions like "DO... LOOP UNTIL TheCowsComeHome", where TheCowsComeHome is a bool set to FALSE. Other examples are "TheEndOfTime" and "ISayOtherwise" -Diptera
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16.
My executables are gone!
So the SF says her executables are gone. My first thought? WTF is she talking about, money says it's not the actual .exe's, as she wouldn't know what the hell those are. Remote into the system and ask her to show me. She hits start, and the list of most recently used programs is blank. "I had one of you people clean my system, they said it would run faster, but all they did was delete my programs!" I find out that she's trying to pull up MS Word, show her where it actually is in the start menu, and think that I'm about to be on my merry way. "Why is it deleted from the start menu?" "Well first off, ma'am, it isn't. Its there where it should be, it's just not in the most recent programs list. That just shows you the past few programs you've opened, to give you a quick jump to something that you just used. When you do a cleanup with our inhouse cleanup tool, it clears that, but the next time you open one of those programs, it'll show back up on the list." SF:"So every time you guys do a cleanup, I have to call to have this stuff reinstalled?" ME:"NO, it's not uninstalled, it just clears the recent shortcuts, and you'll have to get to the programs through the start menu." SF:"So every time you do a cleanup, that deletes these programs, that's unacceptable." ME: /sigh "I'm sorry, let me map them permanently in this location for you, so they can't be 'deleted' or 'uninstalled'." SF:"But what if I don't want them there?" ME:"Then I can no longer assist you, have a good day." <CLICK>[By: TechnoTherapist / 2008-03-03]
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She wants them but she doesn't want them. Pff! Women. ... ;-) <Jusk joking! Just joking, seriuos.... OMG. I don't think the LART shelter will hold...> -TheGhost
Put it in - take it out - put it in - take it out. Isn't that what <life> is all about? (or at least how it's created?) -Captain Trips
Life... DON'T talk to me about, "life"..... -ShujinTribble
Life is WASTED on the living!</The Master> -ShujinTribble
Shujin: Didn't Zaphod Beeblebrox's great grandfather say that? (eg) -MadJack
Yup. Zaphod Beeblebrox IV (yeah, a little accident with a prophylactic and a time machine.) -Captain Trips
...him too. -ShujinTribble
Here I am, brain the size of a planet...</HadToBeSaid> -lineswine
"Ok.... 'War ship'."</Dylan Hunt> -ShujinTribble
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17.
Wrong Customer
The hell desk folks tell me that Professor Carol can't put DVDs in her computer. I could have sworn them said Carol #1. Carol #1 is a really sweet old lady. I go to her office and ask her to give me a CD to put into the computer. She hands me a CD and said, "I know you are quick to solve my problems, but this is the first time you've been here before I have a problem."
I quickly realize the job was for Carol #2. A professor who was a low tech user in the past, but is quickly learning high-end multimedia applications. I go to Carol #2's office. The DVD tray is open and is leaning at an angle. I push the tray in and sure enough it won't open when I press the DVD eject key. I ordered a warranty replacement DVD drive for her.[By: crazymactech / 2008-03-03]
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Her coffee cup holder broke again huh... -unrenowned
What is 'Did she break it by leaning over the machine while the drive was open in order to reach something a bit too far and notch one of her chest ornaments in it?' -TieDyedDinosaur
I'm sure she has no idea how it happened... -Stryker One
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18.
Horrible day... advise
Today was the day I would have dropped kicked a bunny, shoved a kitten in the microwave and lay a baby in the oven. I sent an email to my supervisor "My patience has run dry. I cracked my crystal ball on a member's head and my ESP is gone...." followed by a lengthy live chat session I had with a complete f*ck-stain. Other supervisor (two-faced, such and such...) does things without a warning. What does he say? "I've told you to put that phone away" The phone is just charging, nothing more. It does put on a distractive light show when it loses and regains signal. I happened to grab my phone and swear at it. "...And if I give you a warning, I'm the bad guy, right?" I looked at him and said, "No, you're actually giving me a warning. You would be the instigator of my bad side by doing so. I have your skeletons written down. If you do something out of line, and I turn in my list, I'm the bad guy, right?" He walks away and doesn't say another word. Here is where I need your advise: I wonder if I should turn it in at all. There are quite a few violations to sexual harassment, violation to being with those under you (supervisor-employee relations), partly the cause for a person's DUI because your wife is going to divorce your cheating ass and you want to get it cheap from yet another co-worker, etc. Is this something I should hold until I leave on wrongful terms or burn it and take the knowledge to my grave? Thank you all for your input. I have nothing against him personally, except when he constipates my work flow. On the side, he has gotten a bit better at being helpful after being reported to HR quite a few times about his lack to assist anyone, except for said female employees. Thanks again.[By: UnderLord / 2008-03-03]
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Machete time? Chainsaw? Who cares about a phone in a charger- and if he can't tell the difference-stab his eyes out with a big screw driver! -jerrybear
So let me get this straight: You have a list a mile long on somebody at your place of employment who has basically plucked your last nerve and your wondering to wait to turn it all in on the day you leave or if you should just forget about it and be the nice guy?... No offense but, burn the bastard alive... -unrenowned
It's a tough call. Some people desperately deserve to be taken down a peg or three, and if this guy is as much of an asshole as you say, he's one of them. I'm not sure I could actively contribute to the destruction of the guy's life, though. I suppose my advice would be this: Make sure your actions towards him are proportional to his actions towards you. If he inconveniences you at work, inconvenience him right back. If he tries to get you fired, then by all means, shoot back, let him have it with both barrels. But don't overdo it. -NightSteel
Why? You might regret it later, when you read about his suicide in the paper. Just a thought. -NightSteel
Or, of course, if this guy is being a arsehole to you, do you think he's being an arsehole towards others?
The difference being, you're the one with the ammo.
Personally, I take the view "I'd regret NOT stopping this guy from doing more shitty things if I had the means to." -lineswine
Say fuego. -vacuumtubes
Step 1: Document Step 2: Blackmail Step 3: PROFIT! -neuman1812
the brass will look on it as "it's in the past". make sure anything you turn in is pretty recent, or you will have some culpability by saving it up. -srteach
The password is flameon. -AmazingKreskin
I'd say turn it whatever you've got (if its enough for some serious action from the employer). Either he gets seriously reprimanded/fired or you leave-I don't think working at a place that tolerates that would be good. </m2cw> -cyberblade3001
If he's actually treading on your last nerve (not just that you may be having a bad day), *and* you have documentation of actions that are contrary to company policy (preferably potentially legal issues for them), then fire away. Witholding said documents is a violation in itself in most places.
If he's just a poor manager with anal-retentive issues, then zen-out. Ignore his tirades and wait for him to piss-off someone with enough clout to have him tossed. You want to avoid the appearance of retaliating for something. That will be seen as you creating the problem, not him. -Foyle
document, document, document. the braille note is my best friend and if your phone can record memos get him in action take it to hr and burn th' flyfelcher -AdmiralLaurie
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19.
(OTNT) Once more around the park, Jeeves
1969, Brooklyn, Nueva York....
39 years and counting...
...who knew?
[By: ShujinTribble / 2008-03-04]
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Happy Burp Day, ST! -purplelinguist
Happy Birthday, ST! -Gunpe
My condolences on the impending dotage! :D -Ara
It's about damned time that your birthday rolled around again - have a happy one! -Grue
Your lease has been renewed... don't mess it up, LOL! -MgrofChaos
Harpy Bathday, ST! -Griffin2020
Happy B-Day (old man). -BarmanVarn
Happy Birthday! Just think...next year you'll be 40. -Starfury
You young whippersnappers! <turned 52 on the 19th of Feb> -ralphp1024
ten more days and I'll be there too -McSmiley
Hippy B'Day, SJ. -MSimmons777
Happy birthday, ST! -fdiskcuresall
Many Happy Returns of The Day, ST - may you live long and prosper, for your TinyTribble. -ManyHats
happy birthday, hun! -AdmiralLaurie
!yadhtriB yppaH -DedSysOp
I'd still only give you a mental age of around 12. You win! Congrats mate, you're still breathing and may you keep doing so for a long time yet! -Loon
Hippo Birdies, ST! -MadJack
And a happy birthday to you, too, ST. Happy happy... -chazz
WOO HOO! You're not dead yet! Hmmm, maybe I've been watching too much George Carlin. -Stryker One
belated happies mate. i like being 41, ts nice getting older - and wish i could say wiser! so, young un, have fun!!! -timelady
39? Old fart! </38 in June> -missourimule
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20.
morons on parade 3
Continuing my lovely on-call week, this is the week of the morons calling my on-call phone for no real good reason. Got a call at midnight last night, I had been in a nice sound sleep for at least 3 hours(got to get to sleep early on on-call week if I want to make sure I get ANY sleep as computer operators go home at midnight and don't pick up our phones until 6am.)Guardshack calling again, different idiot this time. Power went out for a minute, doesn't know how to get computer back on. Que 45 minute discussion on where the power button is on teh computer tower (and what a computer tower looks like) and then another 15 minutes describing how to type in capital letters for a password versus lower case letters. I ended up just remoting in and typing his password for him, it was easier. Back to sleep an hour after that, 2 hours of the night wasted. I sent a polite email to his supervisor details this and the guy who was afraid of the screensaver I posted about on saturday, suggesting that just maybe some basic computer lessons might help those who are working after hours security by themselves. [By: redfaery / 2008-03-04]
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now we know we can get past the guard disguised as either a clock or a power switch. -stiffarm
Another keyboard, and another soda....lol -FormerSithLord
Hey, if he had any computer skills at all, he wouldn't be a guard on the graveyard shift. (He'd probably be the new CIO.) -Foyle
It's really too bad that they wouldn't let us design an 'education aid' that reinforced their lessons with electrical shocks. -TieDyedDinosaur
I wonder if they're just screwing with you. Have you done anything to piss these guys off? -YourLastHope
Wouldn't it be better to just not hire Pakleds in the first place? -Stryker One
Definitely not screwing with us. Apparently the other Helpdesk guys who's been here for years have been having these sorts of calls from the guards over there every few months, whenever they hire a new person thru the temp agency to be a security guard, they apparently neglect to make sure he has even rudimentary computer skills. -redfaery
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