So I look into his mailbox -- he didn't specify which box on the account so I had to do the legwork -- and see indeed the inbox has 5mb of stuff and the gauge says there's 20 megs. Say, wait, there's a plus sign in front of the word "Inbox". There's a subfolder named "alerts", with 86 instances (several per day, many days) of an email sent by his company server to this box. Each message is a log file of 190kb. Doing the math, that's 17 megs in a folder he'd overlooked and was neigh onto nasty about.

I politely suggested he have his server notices go somewhere else or have whatever computer reads those alerts (if there is one) turn on "delete from server". kthxbai.

Yours truly was tasked with updating 1st line documentation and guides by the line mangler. Put it in writing says I! They did. Bollocks.

I duly started updating the documents and one of the tasks required was to reduce the connection SOP to a Boolean logic tree with notes (typical "if then else or" mullarkey) which I duly did.

I handed the preliminary copy to the line mangler this morning and waited for feedback. Which duly arrived as "It's too complicated".

I made one simple revision (but took 2 hours to do so - why should I rush?) and resubmitted it. Instant approval.

The change I made was not to the layout, nor to the content.

"What did you do?" I hear you ask.

I colour coded the process. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. It appears that a daily process is way too complicated in monochrome yet works perfectly in colour.

The moral of this story? Take EXACTLY THE SAME THING and add some colour, manglement like the pretty colours!

Imagine, if you can, an installation where the cable attaches to the North end of the house, is tacked up around the side, back and other side to the original cable location where it encounters a splitter that was already present.

Fine. Now the two cables head back around the house, one goes downstairs to an amplifier to support three TVs. The other cable goes nearly all the way back around the house and up to the second story.

This second cable now proceeds to enter a maze of: An amplifier, a splitter, another splitter and then an amplifier/distribution point.

One of the six outputs then goes down into the garage to another splitter, each of the outputs goes to a separate room, one of which is the office.

In the office there is now a splitter to connect a TV and the modem. No connectivity, apparently the bandwidth was being throttled just a bit too much SOMEWHERE!

Solution was to add another splitter at the point where the new cable was added and put a line directly to the office, which was less than twenty feet away. And, of course, replacing a couple of sick end connectors on other cables as well as the odd stub terminator for unused splitter outputs.

With our remaining legacy system still in place for a bit at the hotel, (first half installed, last half yet to come online), we still have a large line printer set up as the system printer to give us our primary reports. This big ole' box still uses the tractor-feed printer paper for the reports, so we still order cases of 14"x11" stuff to feed the monster.

Our Purchasing Manager found an opportunity to cut our costs by ordering from an old stock of the classic green-bar printer paper, so the FD and Audit staff had to get used to reading their numbers off of something other than a stark white sheet. No big deal, you think? Tracking across lines is the entire reason the paper is printed that way? Yes! Still caused quite a bit of griping.

Staff on duty ran it out of paper, and didn't know how to reload the paper. Thought I'd do the "green-bar-o'phobes" a favor, and loaded the next case backwards, so the reports would print on the white side of the paper. They were delighted at not having to look at the green bars, and I thought nothing more of it.

Fast forward to the next day...

After I get back in the next afternoon, day shift employee was looking at reports.

CW: "It's not printing over the bars!"

Me: "Yeah"

CW: "But how is the printer printing backward on the other side of the paper? Is it busted?"

in: I used to be a customer of [FailCo] and they're going out of business, so now I need to move my domain name to you.
out: In order to transfer your name, we need proof of your identity and a screenshot of your [FailCo] account.
in: Okay, here is my identity {attached: five(!) files}. What else did you need?
out: A screenshot of your [FailCo] account.
in: Here is a screenshot of my account with you. {attached: same thing I can see if I click one button}
out: No, log into your [FailCo] account and take a screenshot of that.
in: I don't have access to that. Our webmaster left the company 6 months ago and didn't give us any of the information. What do I do?
out: You'll have to get that information from [FailCo]. (Good luck with that.)

$Owner: *over intercom* Riff?
ME: Yes, sir?
$Owner: I've got a small computer bug I need your help with.
ME: Be right there.

*short walk to $Owner's office*

ME: What's up?
$Owner: I've got a small bug... *pointing to screen*

Sure enough, there was a tiny bug crawling around behind the glass of his screen.

$Owner: Sorry, I just couldn't resist the joke.
ME: I thought *I* was the punster around here.
$Owner: Hey, you know what? Maybe he's after my cookies!
ME: *groan*

I swear, some days I don't know whether to laugh or cry around this place.

We've all known those supervisors who seem to do nothing but get in the way. The work gets tough, and all they do is tell you to take calls faster, document your notes, and offer HBO to everyone. You'd like nothing more than to tell them to grab a headset or get the hell out of the way. Of course, usually the more rational part of your mind tells you they can't, since they have supervisorly duties of their own to attend to. They're probably screwing those up too, but at least that's not your problem.

For better or worse, you learn to live with these types. What can cause you to lose all patience, however, is when they make it clear that they REALLY DO have enough free time to help you out, were they so inclined. Unfortunately, they're more inclined to make a pest of themselves.

We rearrainge our desks yet again, since CableISP thinks leaving well enough alone will cause our stock value to plummet. I get the row of desks facing the aisle. I always hated that, since I find people moving behind me to be distracting when I'm trying to concentrate. The only thing behind me was, unfortunately, Ensign Ricky's supervisor desk. Yes, an aisle seat AND within eyeshot of the boss. If the office were a real estate map, I was living in the projects.

So, I get this call from a dialup customer who has trouble getting a connection. Symthoms are all over the map. Sometimes he connects, sometimes he doesn't. He's read off two or three different error messages. The behavior is not at all consistent, so it'll take a bit more thought than your standard "Does your password work?" and "Do you have a virus?". I run through the basic stuff first-- un/pwd, check the wiring, ask about antivirus and firewalls. then I walk him through deleting and re-creating his DUN info. I do this because it never hurts to try, and also because I need to think about the most logical course of action should the obvious stuff fail. I remembered an issue like this from MONTHS back, but how did I solve it? Think, think, think...

As I talked the customer through it all, I look up at my screen to see if he makes a connection. Suddenly, I get an IM window that says "THE CUSTOMER YOU ARE TALKING TO NEEDS A NEW DIAL UP ACCESS NUMBER."

Whaaaaaat??? I had been so deep in thought that I couldn't process this. Not just the solution itself, but how it got to be on my screen. I was so frustrated, and so confused by the turn of events that my first thought was honestly that my computer had just become HAL or something. Then I checked the log... it was sent by Ricky, who was sitting behind me, monitoring my call. The problem was, eliminating an access number issue was the FIRST thing I'd checked, so I knew that wasn't the case. However, our messaging system only worked one way, so I had no way to tell him that. You'd think if he was actually monitoring me, he'd figure that out, but his teching skills weren't so hot. At wasting my time, however, Ricky had mad skillz.

So, I continue to troubleshoot the issue, and Ricky continues to send me messages saying "CHANGE HIS ACCESS NUMBER!" and "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I finally get the customer squared away, probably taking five minutes more than I would have if my concentration hadn't been broken up by his crazy IMing. He comes over and asks me WHY MY TROUBLESHOOTING TOOK SO LONG!?!?!

Bat! NOW!

email in: What kind of game are you people playing? I paid your reseller for [domain] and you took the money, but I don't see the domain in my account! (yackity smackity rant rave name-call finger-point request-binky-and-blankie)

I do my due dilligence and check the domain... it's not in our system, and a WHOIS at Network Solutions offers to sell it to me. Oops. I then check our accounting and there are no transactions this calendar year from him. Double oops.

email out: You're going to want to contact your reseller immediately and ask them that question. The domain is still available for public purchase, so your reseller didn't buy it for you. We didn't take your money, your reseller did -- the funds were never received by this company. Sucks to be you, and have a nice day!