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Tech Stories Archives - March 2009
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1.
Wow a starfish got it right.
just remember the first is always free.
http://notalwaysright.com/pure-uncut-cyan-magenta/1615[By: Icelator / 2009-03-02]
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Printers have become the Bic pens of the new century. Or Yugos. Or....celebrities. -Biosynthetic
This is why Continuous Inking Systems are becoming more popular. They're superior in every way to using cartridges but can only be used on a small number of printers. They add to the upfront cost but pay for themselves before you ever have to refill the system in the savings over buying ink cartridges. -OgdenTechGuy
well, I sell ink refill kits, and these come with a syringe, so... - TheGhost
As well as a handheld drill bit for those with a thick skull that need another hole in their head.... -unrenowned
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2.
(ot)only comment if rhyme is your intent
Today is the day of the birth of Seuss
What a wonderful day to put rhyme to use
You should all check out google http://www.google.ca/
It’s the coolest picture they’ve used I think
Whether it’s the Grinch, the who’s or the cat
Along with Christmas or a song or a hat
Seuss has always been the one
To provide a read that is fun
Many have praised the genius
Of the great books he gave us
Mentioned by Lithgow on 3rd rock
Parodied by Seth Green with a chicken robot
With a role by Carrey
For the Season that’s merry
So join me to say
Happy Birthday
[By: Icelator / 2009-03-02]
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Actually in the comments I won't restrict you <br> just rhyme if the feeling hits you -Icelator
Although he's dead, no need for a wake; I think we should celebrate with some cake! -ActingUpAgain
Gimme th' bat, spake the Cat in the Hat.... -vacuumtubes
And before I walk to Hades/
I'll listen to bands from '80s/
While I cast these lusers into Hell/
I shall hear a raven quoth LOL -elcapitane
Hippo Birdies to the Good Doctor Suess/Who put the Cat in the hat on the loose/had young Horton to hear a who/ then gave green eggs and ham to you. -HappyCrappy
His stories of childlike fun and frolics/Just sounded to me like a load of bollocks. -Gromit
'Tis nice to share a birthday with such a renowned fellow. Happy b'day to Mr. G., Jon Bon Jovi, and yours truly! -MadJack
Well, to all the above a Happy Birthday, is it thirty, fourty or fifty? (Diety) forbid that it's more, I hope I don't get hit by the LART Shelter door! -spectreoflife
As another year takes wing; the day ushers in the year of the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything! (there, how's that for rhyming? (g)) Add Five More Years, and you'll know how long the rock star's been here! -MadJack
I have here an awesome link/Suess would have been one of us, I think. http://web.mit.edu/adorai/www/seuss-technical-writing.html -DarthIndy
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3.
WFH...
Whats better than working from home during a snow storm? being the only one who made it into work! Lights off, music on. And I'm not scheduled to be on the phones today just email! ya me![By: neuman1812 / 2009-03-02]
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Y'all a bunch of lightweights. What you're getting is an average winter day, here. *bfeg* -Grue
"What's this 'snow storm' folks are talking about? It's clear and sunny where I am... 36F outside, but still clear and sunny." [To the LART shelter, ManBat!] -VoiceOfSanity
Grue, it's average for here, too. *shrugs* Though I almost wish I'd attempted to go in- me and Chris both working from home at the same time? Ugh is an understatement. -taieena
I keep hearing about this "snow storm" thing but have never seen one. We just have rain. -Starfury
What snow? It was 79F at 10am today. -atomicbill
What is this 'snow' you speak of. -DarkRookie
umm snow storm.. snow storm - thats like 4 feet a minute or higher right? breeze around 200 MPH? blowing frozen hydrogen rain? - sorry - none of those. I've ben known to show up to work in horrid conditions - unless the person i have to rely on for a ride ends up in the ditch / dealership/ in a towtruck / decided "screw it...." -Harm
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5.
Helpdesk, which side... PART 2
So while they're working ticket number 2, I notice that on the applications login/password sheet that was generated and emailed to me, my last name is spelled incorrectly for an application that is slightly related to my origional complaint. I go into the ticketing system and update the ticket info with that, as well as email the rep assigned the ticket. He thanks me and states that he'll have HR helpdesk fix the name, and that should solve it. He contacts HR, fills them in, and reassignes the ticket to their department. Good, we're getting somewhere, no thanks to the monkeydesk here. Next morning I'm awoken at my desk by Outlook again telling me that the issue is resolved, reboot machine, verify solved, and close ticket. Since you're still reading this, you can guess what happens next. So, as a whim, I decide to log into the application that was slightly misspelled with both the bad usename, and the good one. Can't get into that application either. So, I've gone from bad, to worse. Cue Remedy ticket number 3, as well as documented issues to the HR helpdesk (consisting of both previous ticket numbers), as well as CC'd to my boss again stating the issue. I return from lunch today, and notice the manilla colored envelope in my system tray informing me that I'm important. I open it up, and lo and behold, it's from HR's helpdesk telling me that my password for $app has been reset. Now mind you, I mentioned nothing about not being able to access $app, just that I've noticed that my username was misspelled and that could possibly be related to why I can't login to $intranet_testing. The good news is, at least they didn't lock the ticket as resolved, so at least I can go back in and correct them. Ticket updated, as well as updated email sent to boss informing of the situation and the lack of resolve by HR helpdesk over a simple typo. Good news is that the password reset allowed me into $app again, so I'm back at square one. I can't wait to see my inbox tomorrow. As a side note, now I know why the Healthcare industry has job security.[By: deskmonkey / 2009-03-02]
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So, how much actual work have you been able to do? -Stryker One
This is the real test, how long are you willing to put up with their bs before you go nuts, last another 3 days and you set the record. -Icelator
Ah Remedy...the bane of my work. All our tickets stay in a "resolved" state for 5 days, your still able to reopen during that time. After 5 days, it switches to closed. -neuman1812
Twister quote: Jo: [cow flies by in the storm] Cow.
[cow flies by in the storm]
Jo: 'Nother cow.
Bill: Actually I think that was the same one. -drakenfly
Ahh remedy - the damned prog earns its name as its in a CONSTANT state of NEDING TO BE REPAIRED! .. hated that damned system.. kinda miss it some days, then i snap out of the suicidal masochistic funk. -Harm
UPDATE: Passwords to $intranet sites reset *again* and still the core issue hasn't been resolved. FSCK, just dump my account out of the system and rebuild it if need be -deskmonkey
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6.
Helpdesk, which side is the monkey on?
Sorry for the lack of stories recently and the small butt... yada-yada. First, this is about the helpdesk at my work, not any of our glorious members. I recently started a new job and am going through training. One of the things that I have to do is Compliance Training. You know the usual stuff, verify customers, don't give out internal info, don't abuse company equipment, the usual steaming pile. Well in order to verify that you know this, you get to take an online test. To do so, you have to be granted access to the Intranet training center. Granted, this is easily accomplished by a simple script off of your network login. Well it would be, but then I wouldn't be here telling this story.
Normally, one would just click the link after the training module and be whisked away into the wonderful land of test taking. For some reason, this doesn't happen for me. I get stuck at a login screen. Just for chuckles, I enter in network l/p, still no dice. Well, Remedy ticket number 1 gets filled out and sent away with all pertinent info As an added benefit, I submit the link, and 3 different screen shots of the errored site, the training site w/ link, and "My Computer" properties with computer name. 3 hours later, I receive an email from our 'help' desk that the issue has been resolved, reboot your machine, and verify it's fixed then close out the ticket. So I gladly follow the directions, taking extra care to verify that I'm not logged into any other machines as well. Reboot and retry. Same result. I figure well at least I'll go back to update the ticket info and let them know that it isn't fixed. Well that's great, the ticket has been closed and locked, no further access to it. So I guess I get to submit another ticket. Which I do, with previous ticket number, and lack of successful solution. I also follow this up with an email to the person assigned the new ticket with pertinent info. [By: deskmonkey / 2009-03-02]
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Last Action Hero: Tony Vivaldi: What is this, Benedict? First you're my friend; now you turn a... 360 on me!
Benedict: 180, you stupid, spaghetti-slurping cretin - *180*! If I did a 360, I'd go completely around and end up back where I started!
Tony Vivaldi: What?
Benedict: Trust me!
[shoots him] -drakenfly
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7.
I feel like....fail
Ever had a virus infestation so bad you couldn't fix it? I did, and just got back from my local computer store with my newly desanitized laptop. I fought for 2 weeks, but I could not defeat all the demons. Sometimes you just have to admit fail, ya know?[By: MacDaddy / 2009-03-03]
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I deal with 'em every day, and there's still sometimes when I can't defeat the evil infestation. I feel that sinking feeling of defeat every time my attempts to clean up a system meet lead me to have to backup, reformat, and reinstall. That said, there's a lot of companies around here who don't care one whit about your data or installed programs, and when confronted by more than the most basic of viruses will (without asking, mind you) format your system and reinstall your OS. Not only do we always get permission first, but we also always offer to back up the customer's data and then restore it when the OS is reinstalled; in some cases we begin the backup before getting the go-ahead for the wipe-and-reload, so that we can start that process as soon as they give the OK. -OgdenTechGuy
a computer virus can never beat you, at the end of the day there's always otis to the hardrive for the win. -Icelator
Sometimes a little session with Bart's PE will get to a restore point that predates most of the nasty registry 'goop'. Then at least you have the majority of what needed to be saved. PS. Copy windows/system32 wpa.dbl and .bak files before thrashing around too much. -TieDyedDinosaur
I'm in the process of reinstalling XP on my neighbor kids Alienware system. I've probably cleaned it up a dozen times and made it functional <he loves limewire>. This time it won't even boot to safe mode. Not even trying to save his music files. Total wipe and reload, then another stern warning. Harsh, yes, but I don't make any $ off of this, although neighbor lets me leech his 7.5 MBit dsl for free. Yeah, I'm his tech bitch but it's worth it. -Grembo
Grembo, May I recommend returnil for your neighbor's moron? I've been using it on some of my more "adventuresome" clients. ANYTHING done to the machine is lost at rebooot. (Just make sure the Documents and Settings folders are on a separate partition) -Divinar
Had to do a nuke and pave on my own laptop about two weeks ago for the first time ever. Got some kind of bug in there that just kept making things worse and worse, starting with fragging my internet access and removing my admin rights. Some day I'll even get all my apps reinstalled. -sassicatz
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8.
Total Disrespect
If I'm out on sic leave for 7 months with pancreatitis and survive and come back to find my office nuked by vultures who have not only taken most of my tools of the trade but personal items as well, don't expect me to be smiling any time soon or in the near future, also it doesn't help being demoted from 2nd level field support to phone support and try to convince me it's the same thing by saying that this will help you catch up to speed with things and then say, Oh, by the way it's a permanent move, just like this will not result in a pay reduction of said action. I had pancreatitis not a lobotomy...after 4 years with same company and no complaints from abusers...That’s ok, said new manager forgot my wife is an attorney, their about to get "ANOTHER" visit from there favorite friends over at the EEOC office who carry a portable 3 ton Drakenfly bat...something about labor laws and demoting a person and pay within 9 months of them returning to work might just spark things up a bit...[By: drakenfly / 2009-03-03]
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Ouch. Here's hoping the three ton bat has the desired effect. -NightSteel
I think that the three-ton bat is a little kind, unless it's got twelve-foot spikes, with arbs, and spikes with poison..... -AdmiralLaurie
Wow. More power to you. BTW, when you win the millions from suing their buttocks off, could you spare me a quarter million? I just bought a house. kthxbye -Biosynthetic
Must suck to have a really smart Wife. <LART shelter a'hoy> -AngrySup
Karma for YOU, bullet salad for THEM! -Seamus
Bio: Didn't he tell you? He's going to use the money to produce his Jump To Conclusions Mat. -flapjackboy
Demotion in position is legal, but demotion in pay is not. Your wife won't have to work too hard on this one... -Captain Trips
Demotion in position is legal, but demotion in pay is not. Your wife won't have to work too hard on this one... -Captain Trips
oops -- I've never done that before... -Captain Trips
Cap, the state that I live in, a demotion in position when returning to work from a serious illness or injury is illegal. Wife already checked state law. We also discovered age discrimination is involved as well and can prove it. Helps carrying a tape recorder on a person the first day back. By the Admirals orders, Drakenfly has re-tooled the 3 ton Drakenfly bat with twelve-foot spikes, with arbs, and spikes with poison..... -drakenfly
Can you get the 'Capacitive Discharge electrocution from a distance' option added? It'd be great fun to zap them from about ten feet away then pound them to mush. -jerrybear
Was going to say Draken, dont forget to elecrify the spikes. MMM roasted f*cknuggets -ApolloSZ
Well, if you are gonna roast them, shouldn't the poison be a nice Habanero BBQ sauce? -TieDyedDinosaur
*Pulls up comfy chair, readies the popcorn & a supply of cold drinks* This sounds like a good one, please keep us informed! -lineswine
In canada, BC anyways, there is a section in the labour code that specifically prohibits such behavior. But we still have violations. My gf's last 2 employers violated 5 sections between the two of them. -putahtek
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9.
[NT/OT] Karma Request
As some of you may remember, I got laid off last December due to the economy. So, I haven't been visiting the site much lately. As of late all I've been doing is job hunting and playing WoW. (My DK is now uber btw)
I had my first phone interview last Monday and had my 2nd phone interview with the same company this morning. I hope to get a call back for either a face-to-face, or a "when can you start" call.
The job would require a relocation, but it would be to an area where I used to live and still have a lot of friends. It also may include a salary increase.
I'm asking for any spare karma you can send, in the hopes that I can finally work again.
Thanks, and I hope all of you are doing well.[By: BarmanVarn / 2009-03-04]
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All the karma I can spare is heading Stateside as we speak. Things are bloody tough worldwide right now - not least in Gromit's Retreat! - I really hope you land the gig. Good luck! -Gromit
Karma's on the way, Barman. Good luck! -Seamus
Job karma heading your way. -Ramblin
Good luck! -Grue
Karma cookies... baking as we speak. -TechnoTherapist
Karma Corsairs are setting sail! -elcapitane
A hord of karma ferret kits (r) inbound, be careful that they don't swipe anything shiny.... -AdmiralLaurie
Have some karma with a side order of Crossed Fingers. -udoshan
Nice, karma on the way. -Stryker One
I hereby crack open a fresh can of Karma energy drink in your general direction. -Biosynthetic
Lots of karma your way, BarmanVarn! -ManyHats
A six-pack of KarmaKola is heading your way! GL and GBTW! -Darkridr
Best of luck man! -starfishmagnet
Good luck to you -DarkRookie
*casts karma*
-compbrat
*casts karma* all the best! -rosemetal
Kareer Karma on its way -Zoomer
6 bales and 2 55 gallon drums of Karma headed to you -DesertDruid
*pops his trinkets and casts Karma* -Blargmanus
You are in luck! The sun is shining and, due to a few days of rain, the Karma-Krystals are beaming brightly! -TieDyedDinosaur
Karma Kameleon inbound, express delivery! -lineswine
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10.
One hour of sleep...
and I still managed to report my sorry carcass of a self to work today, not that it was any fun mind you! It must've been a full moon out, or something was put in the air, because today, I got requests to:
- uninstall $software on all the wireless rigs in the building, since it was causing them to randomly lose the AP's
- clean out a printer that had what I can only describe as a Tony Montana-sized pile of toner in it.
- undergo training for software I've known how to use for what seems like forever and a day
- get questioned by no less than seven nurses while I was fixing a computer, asking me where I was from, who my boss was, and what I was doing, and they were debating if they should report me for doing my job (I know, I still can't wrap my brain around it either), simply because my namebadge wasn't "conspicuously visible"
- install a new printer for $department, because $deity knows they only have too many but insisted upon one more (as approved by my boss over the objections of the techs), only to spend over an hour toning out a line, due to the tone signal bleeding into other lines.
Much as I don't want to jinx it, I sure hope the drive home is an easy commute[By: elcapitane / 2009-03-04]
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Rut Row! You car crashed. http://schestowitz.com/Amusement/images/microsoftmobile.png -Biosynthetic
I remember working for the medical group years back...and it sucked. Heaven help you if you made the slightest comment about the technical skill of the staff or stupid management decisions of the various clinics. Lawyers are easier to deal with. And they pay better....much better. -Starfury
Awkward maybe, but where else will you get such an offer to "take your picture"? -Holdfast
It's things like this that make me worry a bit about my choice to become a nurse. Sure, I'll be a great nurse. But is that worth being surrounded by twits? -Parilla
So, you said hello to the printer little friend. -Stryker One
You should have told them that you can stop what you are doing, close the ticket 'no access' and go fix someone else's problem. -TieDyedDinosaur
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11.
Tech support that's not...
This is the only tech support job I've ever had where I miss doing tech support. I spend more time dealing with people's psychiatric problems and attitudes than anything else. I should be getting paid psychotherapy fees. *Pats user on head* There, there. Everything will be alright. They're really laughing WITH you.[By: Biosynthetic / 2009-03-04]
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I know exactly how you feel. My current job feels more like a complaint compartment for the inept combined with marathons of Thirtysomething. -Seamus
My users are a Continuing Source of Inspiration. -Biosynthetic
Bio - CSI -.... Crime Scene Imminent? -ApolloSZ
The voices are telling me that DUN is hosed.... -vacuumtubes
Day care for big kids. -thx1138
for me i never noticed when they joined the tech support department with the sales department... -CrystalMare
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12.
F$cknuggets
user calls. First description is "I have a new lease replacement and Im trying to install a dial up modem" Me (To self) "This is a laptop. With a built in, fully functioning dial-up modem. WTF are you intalling that for?"
Second description "Its a Gee tran wireless" (Down burkiss)
Third Description.... Its a GTran mobile card (ie wireless modem)
Me "Ok, thats fine. Do you have a disc?"
User "No"
Me "..... Well good fricken luck there, sparky, go play a game of hide and go f*ck yourself" (ok maybe I didnt say the last line, I wanted to, he was the straw that broke the camels back...... *sigh*[By: ApolloSZ / 2009-03-04]
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13.
Special Callers
<p>I do internal support so am spared from dealing with the general public. This has good and bad points...the bad one being that you get people who are <i>special.</i> Today one of the partners calls in with a dead Blackberry...and I don't want to have to deal with trying to get a replacement. I have her reset the device...quietly praying to myself "please work please work pleas work..."<p>I got lucky.<p>The reset worked, she's happy and I get to close the ticket now. Hope the rest of the day is that good.<p>[By: Starfury / 2009-03-05]
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Gaah! My star has expired! Have to pick up a new one. -Starfury
That's special??? Dude, I want to work in your law firm!!! After 9 years in a law firm I'll take that call any time. Special is the one who threatens to call the CEO when you tell them they can't install AOL on "their" computer or expect you to personally go find the printer they sent something to and bring it to them because they don't know where their default printer is. -redevil34
i work remote support. i love the hardware calls where the SF wont test a known good monitor or swap out a keyboard or something. they want to know if i can swing by to do it for them or schedule a tech to come do it. 3000 mile distance be damned. -r3dn3x0r
"Sure, plane tickets will cost 800$, hotel will cost 800$, rental car will be...800$. Oh and I want 100$ per day for food, minimum 6 days. Also please make sure that I have 800$ per day spending money." -Olorin
Oh, I DREAM of having a job like yours....at least your users don't call your boss to complain that you won't help them install Doom on the company machine. -Biosynthetic
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15.
The Watchmen (slightly ot)
OK, quick TSC poll, who's going to see the Watchmen?[By: elcapitane / 2009-03-06]
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You can put me in the 'no' category. The last superhero movie I saw at the theater was "The Incredibles". No Batman Beyond, Dark Knight, Iron Man, Hulk, X-Men, Not Brand Eech, insert character here. -VoiceOfSanity
Put me also in the "no" category. Like most other movies, I'll wait for it to come out on rental. Can't afford a night at the cinema anymore! -TubPorsche
Me. I think the idea of turning comic books (oops, graphic novels) is fantastic! -TieDyedDinosaur
we might, or we might wait for it, and then spend a night in, with the patio door open, ice cream in big bowls, living room dark, my good sound system hooked up.... ah... that's life.... -AdmiralLaurie
Meh. I'm taking out a loan to see Wolverine and Star Trek. Personally, I think if you go to a theater and pay THAT much money, they should hand you a DVD copy on the way out. -Biosynthetic
Our mayor declared March 9th to be Samuel L Jackson Day (that makes it the one [on the calendar] that says "bad a** mother f*cker" on it). In honor of SLJ Day, the indie film center is showing Pulp Fiction (and the bistro upstairs is serving Big Kahuna Burgers and $5 Milkshakes - and you can get a beer in a real glass and take it into the theater). So I'm going to that. If Watchmen is good enough to stay in theaters until sometime later this month, I'll probably go see it. -veaudaux
Not. Movies I take the time to watch in theatres now are perforce those I can watch with family members.. otherwise, it's DVD all the way, to fit my schedule. And nobody else in my family is sufficiently interested in this... and the hype on this one just feels too strong for me to try to convince any of them. -chazz
I'm thinking about it - but do i really want to spend $50 on 2 tickets - a small popcorn and 3 drops of coke in Ice? not so sure.... -Harm
My boss is setting up a night for the team to go see it, on his dime! <dodges rotten fruit from those that are actually jealous of this.> :) -SwedishChef
I'm taking SimianMilitant and his wife out to see it tomorrow. -Seamus
saw it at midnight at the imax. was good. -boognish
Sunday matinee for RedFaery and me. -ActingUpAgain
Saw it last night and it was brilliant - I have read the comic and I think it compliments the comic very well. -CSurfer
I want to see it in; I may take my wife along too. I'm cheap; will go to a matinee (still expensive) and sneak in my own snacks. -Starfury
Wouldn't mind seeing it, but everyone in the family is home and ill. Including myself. If I were a Broadway star, my voice couldn't be heard beyond the front row. -vacuumtubes
Yup, the local aspie support group is making a date out of it :D -Ara
Most likely tomorrow or Sunday for me as well. -Phylok
Planning to see it this weekend with the wife. -Stryker One
Part of me has to point out, the title is Watchmen, there is no "the". Another part of me is now beating up the first part. -Icelator
Had to go see it last night at Cinetopia, great experience. Rorschach is my new hero. -MGNLucifer
Mrs Z isn't into Comics so but she is OK on me seeing it with my GF. -Zoomer
And did I mention my copy of "Watchmen" is signed by Moore and Gibson -Zoomer
Mrs. Trips probably won't forgive me if I don't use two of the movie admission gift certs I got for XMAS to take her -- but then again, she IS on the San Diego Comic Con committee! -Captain Trips
Okay, that was... Words fail me. But when it hits the shelves, <Igor> IT MUST BE MINE!!!</Igor> -Seamus
I live not more than 20 miles from alan moore and a friend of mine is a friend of his, so this movie is on my to do list. -Jax
er..."Fuck Hollywood"...does that give you a clue to my likelihood of attendance?
(BTW, is it on Piratebay yet?) BFEG -lineswine
Saw it. Wonderful! Especially that little bit with the flamethrower! -TieDyedDinosaur
Going to see it at IMAX. The only cinema I've EVER been in with good sound reproduction. -AussieFoot
gonna wait on thet thar high teknickle blueray. -HappyCrappy
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16.
Mr. Tornado and the laptop
Mr. Tornado, John and I were seated at our respective tables, working on computers in various states of disassembly, screwdrivers all over the place. A client comes in with a compaq e500 laptop under one arm.
Client: "my son says this doesn't work."
Mr. Tornado, (talking over John who had just told the client to hand him the laptop) "let me see it let me see it I can fix it i know how to fix it I have training in these sorts of things."
John: "well, it charges batteries, but it doesn't seem to do anything else. Was it recently dropped?"
Client: "I don't know, my son didn't say."
John removes the cover of the laptop and looks at the pannel for the power buttons and so on (note: that was his terminology, not mine) and says "this is broken, I'll be glad to fix this for you.
Mr. Tornado, at this point, walks over and yanks the laptop away from John, and tells the client that he'll fix it and repeats his mantra of "i know what I'm doing."
The client leaves, after giving me her contact info, which i put into our computer and she pays for the diagnostics. Two hours later Mr. tornado has not done anything but disassemble the computer, and says "there's nothing wrong it just needs a reformat." And proceed to do so without backing up the client's data.
thank $deity she was a regular of ours and we had asked her permission to take backups of her data last time she was in.[By: AdmiralLaurie / 2009-03-06]
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.. and this psudo tech is still walking.. why? i mean - surly you have good old Duct tape at the shop? and chairs? and he sits occationally , yes?
rolly office chairs work best.. hold to tape and just spin the hell out of 'em. -Harm
Edward Nygma: [as Fred dangles at the edge of the broken window over the water chasim] Fred, Babe, you are fired, or should I say: Terminated!
[lets Fred fall to his death]
Edward Nygma: Surfs up, Big Kahuna!
[splash]
Edward Nygma: Ooooo, nice form, but a little rough on the landing. He may have to settle for the bronze. -Biosynthetic
Remember, in Texas, "He needed killin'" will hold up in court! :) -Seamus
I think this clown is ready for a self-administered termination opportunity... Where's a USB stick with some nice filthy pop-ups on it? -TieDyedDinosaur
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17.
Epic fail
Beep! goes the phone, Its a Luser...er user who was formatting and reinstalling windows. He says that the last 2 numbers of the COA is worn off. Ok now for the bad news guy was a tech, email addy ended in geek**uad. He didn't even know that all he needed was a oem disk to reinstall without using a coa. Gimme the bat..
docfl[By: docfl / 2009-03-06]
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Oh man, the repressed memories: "What do you mean type setup? I don't want to set it up you moron, I want to install it!" -Biosynthetic
sounds like it's time for a 1,296 character penalty--shouldn't take him more than a few days to try them all. -stiffarm
2 missing characters means he doesn't have to gues more than 36^2 times. Assuminh he takes 15 seconds a try and back spaces, that is only 5 hours and 24 minutes. Tell him to go for it! -Holdfast
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18.
Paranoid In-Law
I get a call from my sister-in-law, her ex-boyfriend is remote controlling her computer, and she has proof. He was dumb enough to bookmark items and send mail from his still configured e-mail account. Upon my inspection, he had installed a bookmark sync application in Firefox and his e-mail was setup for IMAP, so he was syncing his other computer to hers. So the tip of the day is, be sure to remove your sync software before your crazy girlfriend kicks you to the curb, or she may try to nail you for hacking.[By: Wolph / 2009-03-06]
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So, your brother was the fishy in this story? -Stryker One
Well, duh! His choice of girlfriends in a definite clue! -TieDyedDinosaur
Actually, I have no brothers. This is my wife's half-sister. -Wolph
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19.
It is MUCH, MUCH safer...
To remove labels from bottles with hot water and soap than a friggin razor blade.
Thus the 4 stitches on my left hand. [By: atomicbill / 2009-03-07]
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Oops. -Seamus
do you know Darwin? -bumblingalong
...and this is a man who was once trusted to herd neutrons.... *bfeg* -Grue
But Grue, neutrons don't have sharp edges! -atomicbill
Next time, try Gojo Hand Cleaner--the white stuff without pumice. Dissolves sticker adhesive with ease, even works on petrified masking tape. -vacuumtubes
Or Goo-Gone! Orange-oil based, and it smells nice too! -Captain Trips
Another vote for Goo-Gone. Does exactly what the name says. -Loren
Of course, a belt sander is at least _marginally_ safer than a razor blade! -Voz
O.o ... why was it so important to remove the label? -Shaede
Yea like it's easier to cut a tie wrap off the inside of a computer case rather than with sharp scissors. I knew I was gonna slip and stab myself, visualized it, yet kept on and guess what? JAB into the thumb and hit the bone. Didn't need stitches luckily... -SirBSOD
Shaede- well, if they were empty prescription meds bottles being thrown out, with your personal information on them... -Voz
Actually it is a neat square bottle that had balsamaric vineger in it. I wanted to run it in the dishwasher but did not want the labels to come off in the washer. So I used a razor blade scraper and it slipped. TaDaa. -atomicbill
I have had to remove numerous labels from wine bottles. Soaking in hot soapy water is always a good first step. Once the paper is gone, the fun begins. Sometimes WD-40 takes off the sticky stuff. Sometimes it takes Goof-off. Occasionally it needs a trip through the dish washer AND some Goof-off AND another trip through the dishwasher. -TieDyedDinosaur
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20.
From the "Embrace the Stereotype" file:
A short, thin asian woman came in, looking intently at our desktop computers. I had asked her what she was looking for, but it seemed that she wasn't happy with anything on the shelves.
"Is all cheap junk!"
"Well, we do carry some higher-end models in addition to these..."
"Is plastic!"
"Um, yes, some parts of our computers are made from plastic."
She pick up her fist and starts pounding on top of the PC "Look! It sounda lika toy!" She turns, looks at me for a response, then just to make sure I got the message, started pounding on the PC again "IT SOUNDA LIKA TOY!!!"
[By: linkv / 2009-03-07]
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Was this before you reminded her of the "You break it, You bought it." policy of the store ? Not to mention the destruction of property charge that could be brought upon her if she refused. -Necros
"...and thennnnnnnnnnnn?" -vacuumtubes
"...you looka like idiot! Me give you sign? Me beat you long time!!!....." (well, two can play fractured english) -CTYankee
CTY: That's "Engrish" -unrenowned
I think she wanted something harder than plastic. Possibly she wants to play with Igor. Igor is very very hard. -kennz
<enter smart a$$ zone> Well it has to be plastic to prevent electronic interference due to magnetic waves coming via the metal case.<I think I'll stay a smart a$$> -docfl
correction to above, dont know if its correct but sounds good :-P -docfl
Yeah, but do you looka like a man? Did she tell you everyting? -TechDaddy
Otis no sounda like toy, meet Otis! Tink! -Enzedder
You are all sounda Italian nota asian to me. -Jax
Asian Luser, pounding on PC "Is plastic!" Tech: "Is busted, is sold!" -lineswine
From my experiences in retail (not stereotyping here) some asians seem to be very interested in the manufacturing quality of things. I sold sunglasses and they were the only customers who would ask me where they were made. -SirBSOD
oh yeeaa. yeeaa. Hee Looka like a man. </Miss Swane> -Harm
as far as asians and interest in quality- they seem to know WHICH *cough*asian*cough countries make the cheapest shite and try to avoid it. -HappyCrappy
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