|
Tech Stories Archives - June 2009
|
1.
Please get out of the Genepool.
Had a conversation with the moron I live with a few weeks back which went like this: Her "What you doing?" myself "Browsing the net" Her "Wha?" Me "Browsing the net" her "Yeh But What?" me (Loudly and slowly) "BROWSING THE NET" her "Like Surfing" Me *exasperated sigh* "Yeh fine" her "But what?" me (confuzzled) "What? her "But what you like surfing?" me, getting annoyed "Well since you MUST know, a friends review of Windows 7" her, gormless as ever *Pause* "Isn't that like Old?" Me, now raising an eyebrow "Its the new one out later this year" her, in the most patronising way she can "But I've got like Windows 8" Me "It doesn't exist" Her, ignoring me "Yeh fine whatever!" How has she survived thus far?[By: Vie / 2009-06-01]
Comment on Story
Comments
What's more to the point is WHY has she survived so far? - Gromit
Unfortunately she is in our current show, we can't clean up the pool till we no longer need her. Plans are in place however for after Wednesday (final outing of the show). -Vie
Is she at least a hottie? -Grembo
-Grembo, hottie or not, she needs to be strangled, then dangled from a treebranch by her fingernails and toenails, and I'll let your imagination do the rest -AdmiralLaurie
But AL, I didn't think that Grembo was into necrophilia ... -Necros
...but GHOST is! -ShujinTribble
...nor am I, Necros - it's dead boring. ;-) -Gromit
Woah! guys, guys.. I'm sure there's an STD that carries starfishiness. In the great words of Van Wilder: "Don't be a fool, wrap your tool." -Forte
These are the same people that don't know how many stars are on the US flag, where the Panama Canal is, or where the Great Wall of China is. Either the public school system has failed or they never bothered to learn/retain anything. -Starfury
Dead Girls Don't Say No. -AmazingKreskin
See she has a rather common condition, it afflicts most starfish. She isn't braindead she is brainundead, her brain is vampiric it devours live braincells from those around it, that's why you always feel stupider after talking to her. -Icelator
She would be hot under the following conditions: 1, she was divided into two (she is a BIG girl who LOVES her Mayo) or 2, she had a brain (outside of astronomy which she is surprisingly quite knowledgeable on). If either of those conditions were fulfilled she could be considered hot. Though a middleclassectomy would probably be useful as well. -Vie
Vie: So, you're giving tech support to Ms. Cleo ? < Runs giggling! > -Necros
Nah, this one don't go in for psychic bull, she just drives the rest of us psychotic. -Vie
well to be fair, i have seen a "word for windows 7 for dummies" book printed in 1993 -ZombieBear
Probably Win98 but she can't count that high. -AussieFoot
Astronomy or astrology? -Stryker One
But, but... Windows 8 *is* already in the planning, and maybe her questioning of what exactly he was browsing was simply curiosity or an attempt to make polite conversation? :P -TechMama
Astronomy, and it probably was an attempt at polite conversation - she just fails at it. That said however we have currently drawn up a truce due to one of our tech guys (Theatre Tech, not computer tech) being THE most annoying person either of us have ever met and is utterly unable to take a hint. -Vie
|
|
3.
Hit a milestone today.....
my 6000th helpdesk case. I think a need a drink and a shrink.
Does this mean that I'm now a Senior Helpdesk Agent?
Crispy06[By: Crispy06 / 2009-06-01]
Comment on Story
Comments
If that's all it took around here I'd be a Senior Analyst too. -Starfury
I'm on.. (checks TrackIT)...4035 documented tickets. -TechieSidhe
you know i never bothered to check? i kno i was over 1k in about 6 months when i started.... in 7 years i have no bleeding idea how many i had done... but now i want to! ( call center lost that contract over a year ago.. so i will never know now ) -Harm
Been here a little over two years and have 2k documented tickets and about 1k undocumented tickets. -Olorin
I suspect you have encountered a record number of fucquenuts as well! -TieDyedDinosaur
That's number 6000 on your Oh-Damn-meter... -vacuumtubes
6 years for me, but we really only started documenting tickets seriously about three years ago. -TechieSidhe
I estimate 50-60,000. But I have been here for 9 years. -atomicbill
That means your now a Hermit.... runs like a little gurl.. -kennz
Well for me I don't do tickets anymore. At least get on the phone with LUSERs. But I do get at least around 1 thousand tickets to look into and with the Big Big Big Big bosses looking at your back plus we get fine a gazillion euros when some one fucks up. Well thats my story. -kennz
3.25 years, 13,876 tickets. And counting. -Captain Trips
On our internal helpdesk I was averaging 60 calls a day, in 20 days I cleared 1200 calls. Standard Operating Environment + restricted access for users + the same couple of problems over & over meant a quick resolution for most calls. -AussieFoot
Lets see; I don't work any longer so this just an estimate. 13 months of work. Minus 1 month for training. 12 months times 20,working days a month, times 20, about the number of calls I took a day, gives about 4800 calls I got at my last job. Damn that seems a lot. -DarkRookie
3 years, 21,516 calls closed. :( -Deonesis
Our system asks me to limit the query somehow if I try to see how many cases I have closed... in any of the ticketing systems we use. *sigh* Been herwe waaay too long. -Ara
|
|
4.
Pyrrhic Solution
So Mister Barky Von Fucquenughet calls up and says he wants to cancel service with us.
Always got to bring the winback spiel into the conversation and ask why he wants to cancel--more for entertainment value, because if they're pissed enough, neither flowers nor candy are going to bring them back. Ya hafta ask, so.....
His reason--everytime he turns on the computer, it automatically dials out. He can't pick up the phone without hearing the screech of a handshake, and his mashed-banana crowd cronies can't reach him--all because the computer automatically dials out the moment it boots.
To which I calmly suggest that we could look at his settings and turn off what ever piece of spyware/trojanware/fecesware program is seizing the line and eliminate it.
You'd have thought I'd ask him to let me have his dog give me a blowjob.
Nope, he was adamant that this situation was completely our fault, that he never had this trouble with Netzero, and he wanted service ended IMMEDIATELY.
Gimme.
Th'.
Bat.
Sent his account to cyber-limbo, told him he was at liberty to go anywhere else (including Hell, under my breath), and took satisfaction knowing that wherever he went, the same problem would remain hanging around--like a hair on a grilled-cheese sandwich.
"And it's One, Two, Three, Four...
Sit and Spin, You Skanky Whore...
Gotta Gotta Get Up T' Get Down...
Gotta Gotta Get Up T' Get Down..."
[By: vacuumtubes / 2009-06-01]
Comment on Story
Comments
And his $300 a month phone bill to French Guiana is your fault as well. -TieDyedDinosaur
Those are always a gas, the ones who want to cancel because of a problem that won't be affected by cancellation. And half the time they come back because your competitors' service is so astoundingly bad.. -NightSteel
VT thanks so very much for the first belly laugh of the day, I really needed that. -THETECHFROMHELL
oh i love these guys.. no matter what its YOUR fault... then they go to a competitor.. have the same problem.. and phone you to bitch moan and demand that you fix their problem as its YOUR FAULT... BUT they aren't a customer anymore sooo.. Buh BYE! -Harm
Addendum regarding Harm's comment: "Yep, back when you were still a CUSTOMER, and you called ME to cancel? Remember me offering to help you back then? Yeah, that's right. You said no. Well, you're not a customer anymore, so -I- get to say NO - AND I get to tell you that you can't be a customer again until you get the problem fixed first. So the answer's STILL NO. Buh-bye." *click* -Grue
Que the little old lady who thought I should troubleshoot her WIN98 pos just because: she had been a customer for 7 years and never had a problem before and doesn't understand why I can't help her nowbecauseshealwayspaysherbillontimeandnobodyevernotifiedmeaboutthis. Lather rince and repeat about 5 times befor I convinced her she should get a newer pc. -atomicbill
VT, you'll be receiving the bill for a new laptop soon, upgrades, jaws and all. LMAO! Nosecoffee! -AdmiralLaurie
I'm sorry, I *tried* to read your whole post, really I did, but I kept getting as far as your customer's "name" and cracking up so hard I couldn't keep reading... -TechMama
Seconding AL's comment. "Hair on a grilled cheese sandwich." You know what's coming, don't you? (VHVEK9G) "ZOMG! It's her! Look at the cheese! LOOKATTHECHEESE!!!" </Sam Kinison> -MadJack
My wife says I have a way with words. Maybe I oughta write more... :-) -vacuumtubes
|
|
5.
Why?
So, yesterday, the only servers that we don't house or handle (we're a reseller) were down. Like a good little peon, I changed the message to say that customer might experience intermittent connection problems.
So, is the working hypothesis for why people leave a message that says "I know you said you're having intermittent problems but I can't get connected. Is this related? Please call back!" still blatant entitlement issues?[By: Dragones / 2009-06-01]
Comment on Story
Comments
No, just lack of understanding in physics or logical thinking ... not thinking about cause and effect ... and a few (million) dead brain cells -srteach
This intermittent that you're having problems with, is that like, you know, uh, the internet? But facebook's ok, right? -AussieFoot
|
|
6.
nuh-unh!
My coffee maker suddenly stopped working this morning. No sign of trouble, nothing. Turn it off, thinking it's done. Note there's maybe one cup of coffee in the carif. O.o pour cup. check reservoir.... Almost all of it's left? Huh? Turn on after five mins, plate heats up but nothing happens. Turn off. turn on just now, several hours later and the plate won't even heat up. This thing is maybe two months old.[By: AdmiralLaurie / 2009-06-01]
Comment on Story
Comments
Wow - what kind of coffee were you making to dissolve the interior so fast? -Divinar
Try http://www.guayaki.com/ It has lots of caffine but no jitters or upset stomach. I've been using it for over a year now and will never go back to coffee. -atomicbill
Thermostat failure. They do go bad... it is annoying when they go bad after only a couple months, but it does happen. -chazz
Heating element failure. Happens on the cheap units more often than the good ones - but it happens on all of them. -ralphp1024
Wait... how'd you check the reservoir? -Caboose447
'divinar: nothing special. Atomic Bill, I'll look into that, Caboose, I left the maker to cool for 45 minutes before touching it. And I stuck my hand into where you pour the water, and it was almost as full as it was when I poured the stuff in before. -AdmiralLaurie
I drink mate sometimes... but I prefer terere-it's the mate leaves but with cold juice instead of hot water... much yummier :D (ahh, now I'm homesick...) -cyberblade3001
Am I the only one here that doesn't drink coffee or tea or alcohol? -Stryker One
Hey striker, there is nothing left... -Griffin2020
Hey, Stryker, don't you know that water is bad for you? Fish piss, sh1t and have sex in it. Things die in it. It dissolves metal, erodes mountains and causes electrical things to go boom! Nope, sticking to alcohol. -ecoli
Look into cold brewing instead. No failures, better coffee, less complicated to prepare. -ChasingPuck
Stryker: nope, I don't drink coffee or tea either (too bitter for me) and alcohol is a rarity (and usually wine coolers or just plain white wine) -harrellj
And the name on the coffeemaker I bet is...Durabrand, the chinese word for Prez'd-Shit. -vacuumtubes
vt.... ding! ding! ding! quite correct. -AdmiralLaurie
"Everything always works right up to the point that it doesn't." -AmazingKreskin
|
|
7.
Monday started yesterday (slightly NT)
Sorry in advance for the rant. Yesterday my sister yelled at me for:
- not mowing my own lawn when I don't even own a lawnmower, and am still under restrictions to do no heavy lifting or anything strenuous. The landscaping company that was hired to do the lawn & agreed mow it for free never showed up, despite multiple phone calls and voicemails being left the part of myself and my parents (who own the house). And since the house is on the top of a steep hill, she should know better than to have me mowing with a recurring knee problem.
- wanting to get a Chicken Club Sandwich from Bob Evans when she asked what I wanted for dinner, and insisted I get another one that she approved of, then asked me to go pick it up
- rear-ending a car that I would've easily been able to avoid had my sister not tried to call me on my cell phone on my way back from Bob Evans
- daring to say that the reason for the accident was because she tried to call me, thereby distracting me
[By: elcapitane / 2009-06-01]
Comment on Story
Comments
Though I would say blood is thicker than water, Otis is thicker than blood. *TINK!* -Forte
"What about that family thing? Blood's thicker than water, isn't that what they say?" "So is shit." </One Police Plaza> -MadJack
|
|
8.
Monday started Yesterday (part 2)
For the last two parts of my previous entry, my sister stormed out to my car as I came up to the driveway, and didn't even bother to ask if I was alright, or if I was hurt in any way, shape or form, and I can pretty well guarantee she would've yelled at me if I hadn't picked up the phone.
She's also quite well aware that I had surgery to clear out a very bad infection I needed to get rid of, which involved antibiotics that was so powerful, it affected my heart and other organs, and which cost me a ton of money beyond what my insurance covered (I've already spent over $1,000 out of pocket between specialist visits, medications, visiting two doctors and I still have more doctor's visits to go), so buying a lawnmoer isn't high on my list of priorities. In fact, one of my doctors insisted I go on vacation as soon as I could for stress relief, as she could tell I was supremely stressed out between work and the whole infection and subsequent surgeries. Plus, why would my sister be obsessing so much about this when her son had surgery last week, and is still at home recuperating. I would think that'd be her #1 priority right now as well as making sure I was OK, not checking up on my lawn and my eating habits.
My mom did her level best to calm me down, even giving me a double dose of melatonin and a triple does of valerian to help. All that took over an hour to kick in, but I finally went to bed. And my mom wonders why I call my sister so infrequently...
Thankfully, the accident was so minor that neither car sustained any damane, not even any paint transfer, and neither of us were hurt in any way shape or form, so we mutually agreed that sharing information wasn't necessary.[By: elcapitane / 2009-06-01]
Comment on Story
Comments
My sympathies. I have an "interesting" relationship with my sister wherein she believes, among other things, nothing is ever physically wrong with me. Ever. So I am, thus, faking every illness. My current theory is that she has never forgiven me for "catching" Lyme Disease in the month leading up to her wedding and stole all of 30 SECONDS of my mother and father's attention away from her. Or some such, I honestly have no fucking clue what her problem is with me. -Dragones
My sister and I have had a relationship that, at times, was a tense one. She always felt she could tell me what to do and got away with as much as shou could. It's a bone of contention, in fact, between my parents and grandparents that my parents spent $125,000 on her Bachelor's Degree, not including three cars, or the fact that the she dumped her bf at the time three months after trhansferring to the school that expensive in the first place, prior to even considering where I was going for college. -elcapitane
My sister bullied me, then I got taller then her. She's pleasant now. -boxxertrumps
Wow, and much karma to you. Makes me grateful that my only sister is a beautiful and intelligent teenager who's top of her eighth grade class and headed to my old high school in the fall. </brag> My crazy relatives are some cousins we've had to cut off... but that's another story. -AnneBWalsh
tis time for sister to get the bird! -gashach
I used to think my sister was controlling, nosy, and bitchy, but then I read this story. -thx1138
Having an accident and not sharing information=big mistake! Next post you'll be complaining of a lawsuit from the guy you rear-ended and he'll be claiming that you had obviously been drinking. -SFStrangler
Man, I love my sister (who just graduated from a difficult honors school with a difficult major, I'm so proud of her!)... -Seamyst
wow man - My sister and I have never really got along ( i'm the oldest) untill we finially moved out of mom and dads place. She whent to Uni for a Chem eng degree - came home occatiobally - and is now 3000KM away in Ft Mac. we email each other infrequently and call to colaborate gifts for Mom and dad - oter then that we may speak once every few months. Works out well. when we are face to face it helps to have a few glasses of wine/ beer / whatever in us in order to continue to get along. that being said were have each others back should the need arise.. but generally stay the hell out of each others lives. seems most ppl i know with siblings find this way works best. if only yours would but the hell out and chill. -Harm
Harm: The only times my sister and I got along even a little bit when in proximity to each other was on my birthday and during her wedding. And when I lived a way's away, on the rare occasion she called, she would be nice. It's usually when she's in relative proximity to me that the claws come out, and was one of the big reasons I was a little hesitant to move near her. I had hoped that having two kids would mellow her out, but that hasn't been the case all that much, and even my brother in law (4deity bless him) has done his best to stem the tide against not only me, but my dad, who has also incurred my sister's wrath. -elcapitane
Hmm, some of those sibling stories are really sad, actually. I am #3 out of 4 girls, all within about 5 years of each other. We had our problems growing up, of course, but as adults we all get along. We have regular (once a month or so) get togethers, etc. In fact, my oldest sister both visits here and plays LotRO with me. :) -TechMama
Pardon me, El, but your sis? Sounds like a BIATCH to me. Curing that? A good BIATCHSLAPPING. -HappyCrappy
Oh trust me, if I even tried, I'd be disowned by my parents immediately no matter how bad she is towards me. She's the angel of the family according to my parents. Most of the rest of the family, aunts, uncles, even my grandparents, all think that she could use, in the words of Major Payne, some attitudinal readjustin'. My aunt has told me personally, that my sister has a tendency to be downright wicked towards people when she doesn't get her way, which can occur frequently. -elcapitane
When your parents pass away, it will be open season on your sister. Get your hunting license up to date, keep your gun warm, your powder dry.... -vacuumtubes
|
|
10.
Speaking of anniversaries
It was 45 years ago today that I, as a foolish youth, raised my right hand and swore at the Navy. Or was that in the Navy? Sometimes I think that if I had it all to do over again I would do it all over the recruiter and go into real estate and get rich.[By: atomicbill / 2009-06-01]
Comment on Story
Comments
But then you wouldn't have seen all the wonderful places in the world...like Naples, Italy.....Naples, Italy...Naples, Italy....nah, do the real estate thing. -Biosynthetic
the sapphire (45th) will look great with your dress blues...i doubt i'm alone in appreciating the smart guys who've made careers watching our backs instead of chasing the bucks -stiffarm
Yes but while we are watching our Countries backs can you tell them to stop trying to stick it in ours? -Crai
Doesn't Navy stand for Never Again Volunteer Yourself? -DarkRookie
Congratulations. Thank you for your service. -AnneBWalsh
wow, you must be really old! :D <runs and hides somewhere a long way from the sea> gratz! -Shaede
Grats man - a noble calling being a Naval... seeing the world.. sharing your days and nights and shore leave with seamen... :) srsly tho Grats. -Harm
It was just about 30 years ago that the Navy decided I wouldn't qualify for an application to Annapolis. (Too introverted). How thankful I am (now) for that decision! -TieDyedDinosaur
Nah, you're too decent a person. Thank you for your service. -Grayhawk
... and, to think, after all those years of nuclear power training, you wind up working call center tech support when you're ordered to CIVPAC. Plenty of times I've thought how much better off I'd have been if I'd stayed in for 20 or more; but, damn, brother, after twenty years of wearing dungarees & eventually making it to the khaki level, I'd have had to think about it when they decided to make sailors & Marines look the same. (G). Plus, how much better off would I have been if I'd gotten out in October of '06? -MadJack
*salutes* -ThinTheHerd
If i had stayed in, i would have been in for 13 years last month -compbrat
|
|
11.
Oh Em Gee
Talked to this customer over the weekend, stereotypical dial-up modem failure scenario. Told her to take it into the shop she deals with because she's not all that local. She calls back tonight and tells me she took it to the shop, and they connected with an ethernet cable, told her it's connecting to the internet fine, admitted they weren't actually using the modem they were supposed to be checking, and sent her home anyway to try again because--I'm not kidding here, and, for note, this made perfect sense to the customer--it works on ethernet, even though she understands ethernet and modem are two different connection types.
I told her to take it back and ask them to actually check the thing that is probably broken this time instead of the thing that's working fine.[By: Dragones / 2009-06-01]
Comment on Story
Comments
But it works on Ethernet! Just plug the phone line into the Ethernet port and you'll be fine! lol -OgdenTechGuy
She probably took it to Best Buy. -SFStrangler
"All four tires are fine!" (when bringing in a limited-service spare to be fixed) -CTYankee
|
|
13.
I have coined a new phrase
SoIP - Scream over IP.
What you do when you have carefully typed up a detailed email with exactly everything the recipient requires to get the job done/message across/chickens to roost/whatever... And you get a reply only a couple of minutes later of about 1 line - which *clearly* shows that they have completely neglected to read any of your carefully prepared original. [By: rosemetal / 2009-06-02]
Comment on Story
Comments
And this surprises you? To be honest, I wonder sometimes how my clients breath without someone whispering in their ears "Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out...." -Divinar
"I can't do it." "That's why I have provided you with detailed and complete instructions. Read them. Follow them." -NightSteel
Didn't "The Prodigy" write a song about that called "Smack my B!tch up" ? -Necros
I thought Scream over IP was what you did when you write a carefully worded sexy email to your girlfriend and accidentally send it to her mother. (not a MILF thing). -AussieFoot
No, I've heard it's what happens when a fellow encounters certain social diseases! -Voz
How about WoIP? Wilhelm over IP? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YDpuA90KEY -Biosynthetic
I thought SoIP was what all admins pray for the ability to do - Slap over IP! -Enzedder
OoIP or ToIP--and I'll give you three guesses what's involved. -vacuumtubes
Can't count the number of times I've sent emails with multiple questions contained therein and IF I get a response to any of the questions I considered that a good thing. Usually I get response complaining about issues completely irrelevant to the topic of the original email. <- Feeling your pain from the smallest State in the Union.> -TubPorsche
you see, the problem is you put too much information in the email. Everyone knows that the average fish has a short attention span, and can only process a line or 2 MAX per message. If it's longer, they ignore the whole thing. -garwain
I had a supervisor who refused to read any email, for any reason, that contained more than three, four max, wrapped lines, OR had a paragraph break
'interrupting' the flow. I'd spend inordinate amounts of time composing these jewels, only to have him reject the message as 'not being clear enough'. Giving up and phoning him directly to get an answer wasn't much of an option, either; he had a memory like a sieve and verbal communications (and his title) gave him instant deniability. He's now supervisoring his new 'knobs' in another department now, and I wish them lots of luck. Sir, yes, SIR. -emdeebee
Am dealing with this situation right now. How HARD is it to type in the directory the program is located in when you just TOLD me where it was located? Why does this require hand holding and a telephone call when I have given you specific directions via email? And how many times do I have to tell you that I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE DATA IS - YOU HAVE TO FIND IT YOURSELF. The program is 13 years old, and I have never used it. Use your farking brain, wouldya!! (Scream of Consciousness - SoCoIP) -NoneOther
Heh, preach it brutha -rosemetal
One step up from this... they try to click buttons in the picture you included in the email. -concept14
Concept: wow, that's a new low... -rosemetal
|
|
14.
Technology Magic in the Magic Kingdom
I went to Disney World with the mom, sis, niece, and nephew this last weekend. On the drive there, I was reading news and other stuff on my Blackberry, trying to tune out the family, knowing that I would have quite the weekend ahead. A few moments after we got settled in our resort, the scroll ball on my Blackberry stops working. I'd have cursed profusely, but there was a 4 year old and a 2 year old with me. I try to fix it for 15 minutes, then give up. I check it a few times each day. Nothing. Until we pull out of the resort parking lot to go home. A half hour into the trip, I pull out my Blackberry to find the scroll ball has indeed started working. I smile, shake my head, and chalk it up to the technology gods reminding me to "put that crap away" and enjoy my day and my family. [By: TechieSidhe / 2009-06-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
Sometimes the machines know what is best for us. -Year9595
"And I, for one, welcome our new electronic overlords..." -Divinar
One of the lawyers I support has a Mac. She goes on a business trip and the keyboard stops working on an airplane. Works fine in the airport but not in the plane. Had to be either the tech gods telling her to enjoy the flight instead of working. -Starfury
You have Sidhe as part of your name and you don't realize sometimes we're just along for the ride? :P -FreakyFerret
Yeah, I stopped trying to drive years ago. -TechieSidhe
When it comes to Disney, it would not surprise me that they have found a way to block cellphone/blackberry/iPhone. Guests are supposed to forget the outside world, and enjoy the park. -VoiceOfSanity
|
|
15.
Omniscient?
User called me down to fix a problem with her camera, turns out she was missing the connection cable (USB A to USB Mini), after checking we didn't have it in the store room I told her one of her colleagues must have the cable. After several minutes of her saying they can't have they don't have that kind of camera, and she was the only one who used the camera we start looking on nearby desks. Low and behold seconds later she found the cable in the top drawer of her colleagues desk (strange since his camera has a bespoke connection not a standard USB). She thinks IT are omniscient but it's just a case of seeing the same think repeated ad nauseam by lusers.[By: Efexs / 2009-06-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
Hmmmm Maybe if we just slightly change a few definitions - we Could be Omnicient! if we can agree that tere are a set number or reactions to every action... then we've pretty much seen everything or expirienced it!.... hehe now that justifies the " OH GOD! < OH GOD!" -Harm
"Och, aye, laddie! How else d'ye think I kept my reputation as a miracle worker?" </Montgomery Scott> -Captain Trips
The good thing about standards are there are so many of them. -AussieFoot
Bought a USB multi-cable kit with 5 interchangeable plugs, type A male & female, B male, mini A male and mini B male. Misplaced the cable for my camera and find they've used a non-standard socket that is no smaller than mini A or B but doesn't fit either. <rant>F'ing m'f'ing c'sucking propriety connectors.</rant> -AussieFoot
Media readers with multiple slots for the different flash cards would sidestep this problem (and allow for faster xfers, too). -BayouTech
|
|
16.
The end of G.I. Joe (NT)
Robot Chicken Style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4XybjfgRuc Possibly NSFW[By: Starfury / 2009-06-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
This has "Columbine" written all over it. -udoshan
" Its was always Fumbles..." -Harm
|
|
17.
Welcome to deployment hell
We use Altiris DS to push new software packages to our user community. We just started an upgrade a couple days ago. Part of the process is that the user has to remember to log off their machine before leaving for the night, so our package installer user account can log in and run automagically. So far we have many users that forget to log off and instead simply lock their workstations. The first thing that greets them in the morning is a bright yellow box wanting to perform the upgrade.... which takes a couple hours. So those people are mad. Oh well, shouldve done what you were told. Even worse though is those that come in and see that our installer user account is logged into the machine, and has the screen locked. Actually, I don't think they see who's logged on, and try to unlock the machine with their password. Our lockout policy is 5 attempts. When we're pushing to 150 machines, all it takes is 5 different people 1 try to lock the account. Thankfully it self-unlocks after 30 inutes, but in the meantime, it wreaks havoc on all the other machines. Ahhh, only 2800 more machines to go.[By: Jeckler / 2009-06-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
Ahh, Altiris, how I hate thee. Let me count the ways.. -NightSteel
Push out a forced shutdown then startup package to all machines first, then the upgrade. -DazZler
We went through the same thing at my work when we rolled out an updated AV client. Some of the remote locations can take an hour and a half to install the client. I really enjoyed the calls where the user would tell me that their pc says something about something installing and I'd just laugh at them (yes, on the phone) and tell them they're SOL for an hour and a half! -Caboose447
Our network people have set up Altiris so most things run as a background task. For the rest it wake-on-lan overnight, if you don't do what you're told and shut down at night it's your own fault if you are forced to wait. -AussieFoot
Shoot your Altiris packager. There are better ways than this, and the end user should not even know something needed to run. -NightRain
|
|
18.
Oops
So today started a little more interesting then I normally like my mornings to start. Firstly Tech2 calls in sick so I'm the only tech today. Yesterday we did a large data transfer from a back hard drive to a new system. Today the guy brings the system in because we missed a few things. No biggie, just plug the drive in a move the data over. Wrong. SaleManager is bring the computer back the the bench when he trips, computer goes crash and hard drive that is one top of the computer hits the ground with a thud. So I now get to move all the parts to a new case, test both 500gb hard drives from the new system and explain to the customer why we can't move his data without telling him that his new computer was dropped. good times.[By: hobobanana / 2009-06-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
...wtf. SalesManager needs to man up. If someone came into his store and broke something, you're damn right he would make them pay. -NightSteel
Ugh, seriously, this is just wrong, and the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. If I came back in to pick up a computer and it was in a completely new case, I would demand some answers, and then when I got them, I would demand a new computer. SalesManager broke it? SalesManager bought it. This is why businesses have insurance. -NightSteel
NightSteell, I agree. This is ALSO why we are told to transfer and relocate ALL customers computers on a cart. -udoshan
And that's why I almost always have clients move machines to and from my car. My corporate insurace covers accidental damage while the machine is on my property (vehicule included), but if something happens between their desk and my car, I could be personally liable. -garwain
|
|
19.
Get the hint ::tink::
This morning, whilst in the middle of getting laptop fixed for a biomed engineer, I get a phone call from a physical therapist asking why her laptop request was denied. Since such approvals and denials for equipment are done by my bosses, and are closed out once denied, I couldn't tell who did it, nor could she. So I told her to resubmit it, with a valid reason why she needed the laptop.
Two minutes later, still working on the same biomed laptop, I get another call from the same lady saying she put the request in, and when she was going to be getting her laptop. I told her it had to be approved first before I could give her one, and she asked when that was going to happen. I told her when my boss had time to do it. She hung up.
Another minute later, her coworker calls me this time, who I know personally, and she told me the situation was that they already had a laptop, it was out for repair, and the tech brought it back down saying it was fixed. When they fired it up, it was plain to see it wasn't so the first lady put in a request for a new one without saying anything about having their previous one being broken. I told her to have her coworker cancel the request and call the Help Desk to have that tech sent back out and repair it himself while they were looking, and if not, to bring it to me to fix it.[By: elcapitane / 2009-06-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
Ooh ouch, I can't quite tell who needs the larting here - the tech or the end user.... -rosemetal
Little from column A, little from column B... -AnneBWalsh
The tech for not testing it before returning it, and the biomed engineer for blatant entitlement issues. -Calydor
|
|
20.
Proof? or Truth in Advertising
Hello all, I've been lurking for a while; reading, sympathising and laughing and couldn't resist posting this after seeing it in one of my mags. Bottom of the page, last picture - too true. http://www.sas.com/corporate/advertising/[By: joygal / 2009-06-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
starfish + bullets = ? -rosemetal
Rosemetal - a good thing? -joygal
Is this http://www.sas.com/corporate/advertising/ba/starfish_bullets.pdf the URL you meant? -Stryker One
Awright, Who's the designer? C'mon, fess up now (EG) -MadJack
Ooh! I think I might start calling a few EUs "bunnies". I have a couple of those here. Total tantrums when they have even the slightest technological issue. Stomping feet and everything. -TheNator
I thought you were posting about this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?eurl=&v=Go_VtqtxCHY -Necros
|
|
Read More Stories from June 2009 (148 for this month)Back to the Archives Section
|
