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Tech Stories Archives - July 2009
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1.
The Real Reason...
...your email never works: http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/009406.html[By: exzyle2k / 2009-07-01]
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Wow, that exec needs to be culled. - Seamus
That wasn't nice... but it WAS funny! -AnneBWalsh
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3.
‘Attending Conferences’ vs 'Having A Job
I wonder at what point my attending of conferences will = my actual job :(
http://www.techchuff.com/social-media/attending-conferences[By: cianw / 2009-07-01]
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thanks, I needed that laugh... -rosemetal
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4.
BBerry woes
Hey all, been a while since I posted and the title pretty much explains it all. We got the BES setup and distributed about 200 BBerries. Sprint came and did some "training" to which apparently *no one* paid attention to/didn't understand. The last three months have been spent supporting primarily the phones. The call I got this morning should put it into perspective. Me- "IT department this is Kiddingme" M0r0n- "Yeah, my BlackBerry says to enter the word blackberry to unlock....what do I do?" Me- *headdesk headdesk headdesk* "Type...in...the...word....blackberry". [By: Kiddingme / 2009-07-01]
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You should have told them to enter the word "dingleberry". -CyBear
I am surprised the story ended there. I was expecting: M0r0n- "Yeah, it's a BlackBerry. Can you help me or not?" -LordObsidian
I often use the phrase "what happens when you try to...". -Holdfast
"OK, let's see if we can figure this out. Sounds like a pretty obscure problem. You said the message was, "Enter the word "Blackberry" to unlock"? Hmmm... Well, the last two words were "to unlock". Do you think they're trying to tell us something? I know, they're telling us that we can unlock it by doing something. Most of these devices want you to "enter" something to tell it "to unlock", do you think they might actually tell us what to "enter" "to unlock" it? What else could be there to "enter"? Hmmm... Wasn't there another word in that message that might give us a clue what to "enter"? I know, why don't you try, "theword" and see if that doesn't work! Didn't work, huh? OK... well, the only thing left is "Blackberry", so why don't you try that? It worked? Really? Well, if that don't beat all!" -Voz
Ah, yes, "It says enter your old password. Should I put in my old password?" -sassicatz
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5.
Now slightly less clueless
I know we've all got stories of "now right-click...no, the other right" etc etc, but I finally got to the end of my tether dealing with a (l)user who, shall we say, suffered from mixed laterality. I went and wrote a large L and R on her mouse buttons. And no, she's not left-handed.[By: SoldierJedi / 2009-07-01]
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Did you write TGIF in her shoes, too? -LordObsidian
LordO: Her shoes or her shirt ? -Necros
When I worked for a tree trimming service, one of the climbers put his spikes (for climbing trees) on backwards. When the owner asked him what he thought the L and the R engraved on the spikes was for, another climber laughingly responded "Raise and Lower?" -ActingUpAgain
First rule of tree planting: Green up, brown down. -CyBear
... and landscaping! -digitalguy1127
Ambi-sextrous = Knows how to F-up with either hand. -AussieFoot
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8.
Dead Pool continued...
RIP Karl Malden. http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-karl-malden2-2009jul02,0,5658128.story
This seems to be a very unlucky couple of weeks for the celebrities... [By: chazz
/ 2009-07-01 ]
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No kidding... glad I'm a nobody! -Voz
That makes 6, 2 sets of 3. So maybe things will be quiet for a while? -atomicbill
hmm youd think the anthopomorfic personoification and death of rats would have been getting bored. -Harm
Even by lesser celebrity standards, the pool's gone from squared to cubed, b/c starting w/ David Carradine & counting Mays the pitchman & Fred Travelena, Karl makes 7. Another two more before things even out. Not good, considering that all of them but Carradine have dropped in the last seven days. -MadJack
Oh wow! One I've actually heard of...(Billy who? Fred who?) -lineswine
A rather local celebrity died in the same timeframe, as well. Those of you who follow the PBS networks may have heard of John Calloway, from "Chicago Tonight with John Calloway". He's gone as well. -Grue
My name is Robert Neville. I am a survivor living in Hollywood. I am broadcasting on all AM frequencies. I will be at the Brown Derby everyday at mid-day, when the sun is highest in the sky. If you are out there... if anyone is out there... I can provide photos, I can provide soudbites, I can provide paparazzi. If there's anybody out there... anybody... please. You are not alone. -Biosynthetic
^ +1 -ThinTheHerd
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9.
OT swearing baby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tlr4158CP_k&feature=related[By: Icelator / 2009-07-02]
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How cute! -edventure
ha ha ha ha *snort* -SoldierJedi
I didn't need that. I have a Red Bull for that purpose. -Biosynthetic
That was mildly startling, to say the least. -OgdenTechGuy
I stumbled across it while me and friends were looking at some videos, it was 8 am and we were still up from the night before so it may have had more of an effect on us. -Icelator
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11.
Can't leave them for a minute!
Went to a user conference for this software program that I support, configure and also use and that most of my company uses. Very fun conference in Put-in-Bay Island, Ohio, and actually very informative, made a lot of contacts and got to meet my support people at the company that I rely on a lot. Didn't hear anything the entire 3 days I was gone, mostly because I had almost no signal on the island and the schedule didn't provide me with any time to go online. So on Tuesday, day 2 of the conference, I talk to a support guy who tells me of what almost happened when I was gone the day before. He asked them to please restart the program on their computer. The next thing he knew they are trying to figure out the password to the server! So overhearing that, he interrupts and clarifies that he meant the program on their individual computer and that he would NEVER have them restart the server as a first step solution to an issue. *sigh* [By: redfaery / 2009-07-02]
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AHHHH! The website is down!!! http://www.thewebsiteisdown.com/ -Biosynthetic
That "Websiteisdown" website seems is fake, it's not even funny anymore. -Caboose447
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12.
FDA approved drug
http://current.com/items/89808851_fda-approves-depressant-drug-for-the-annoyingly-cheerful.htm [By: atomicbill / 2009-07-02]
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I prefer my natural remedies: corn syrup and no exercise. -AmazingKreskin
Warning for those whose work does not allow streaming (like mine): this connects to a YouTube feed. -Captain Trips
Cool beans! -Caboose447
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13.
Wired Wireless???
So I get a call from a MANAGER at one of our branch office last week. His mouse isn't working. Most of our places have wireless so my guess 99% of the time is right: Dead batteries. Sir is your mouse wireless? "Yeah, I think so" Think so? Flip it over and you should see a battery compartment. "No, no I don't see one of those, let me move this wire and see". What wire? "The one on the mouse", But I thought you said it was wireless? "Well I thought it was, maybe I was wrong" Anyway, this goes on for about 30 minutes. The computer SEES the mouse, I have unplug it and plug it back in and its re-dected as a wireless mouse. But it still won't work. Sir are you SURE this isn't wireless? Flip it over again and read to me what it says. *I should have asked that right away!* "Microsoft Wireless Mouse Receiver V1.0." Wireless Mouse RECEIVER?? Is that what you're using on your desk? "Well yeah" OK sir go find the actual MOUSE. *few minutes later* "Oohhh here it is! It works!" God bless! Did this guy just suddenly forget what a mouse was??? Jesus, he uses the computer everyday! Or so I thought...[By: MothMonsterMan / 2009-07-02]
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Is the new ACME wireless/wired mouse! -TheGhost
what the hell was he trying to click with?! -fearnothing
Agree with fearnothing, the lack of BUTTONS should've been a clue to him. -Calydor
<da>my wireless trackball receiver has a button on the top to sync it, so maybe he was trying to use that one?</da> -docbrown01
well..mine does have a single button in the middle of it, to force a synch...
still not an excuse. -dredtech
I actually used to have a wired wireless mouse. You could remove the top shell, unravel a cord, and plug the cord into the receiver, either for if you're out of batteries or just want to make the batteries last longer. Just unplug the cord, wind it up and store it inside the mouse, and presto, wireless. The mouse was a POS though. -linuxmatt
Apparently, the "any key" user and the "footmouse" user had a child. Damien!!! -Biosynthetic
Maybe he was trying to click on the charger contacts? Wire it up with 240V and see what happens. -AussieFoot
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14.
karma request
So i came back from vacation today, to find a voicemail requiring my attendance at a mandatory meeting this afternoon.
Hmm, well this can't be good i think to myself.
In a go, an innocent sacraficial lamb to the slaughter, to find several company vp's and head of human resources corraling most of the call center into a small meeting room.
The smell of fear is thick in the room, the faces of the supervisors are quite grim indeed.
"oh noes, whats this, did they find the stash in the server rooms again?"
even better. it appears that in their great wisdom c0x has pulled our contract, and in 60 days we're all jobless.
"well, no need to file those complaints with the labor board after all"
They say trhey will help us find jobs at other projects within the company, but none of those jobs allow telecommuting of course...(after 3 years of working from home i don't even have a bloody car anymore)
Oh and you may take a pay cut, since your seniority won't matter over there.
Frack me. This blows.
Anyone know of a decent telecommuting tech support job?
[By: dredtech / 2009-07-02]
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That bites. But, at least you've got some time to prepare for the other shoe. Luck! -MadJack
I was a telecommuting ditch-digger once. No, wait...that was a game of Oregon Trail. Never mind. -Biosynthetic
*casts karma* -rosemetal
no, f*ck them. its either an equivalant job, (telecommute, etc, same wage) or layoff, unemployment and PAID training here.. -HappyCrappy
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15.
My Starfish Moment, D'oh
In order to do some work on one certain part of a project, I have to change the DNS entry on my local machine. After finishing up my work, I went to lunch. I came back and tried to start work on another project and could not connect with it. I asked if others were having problem, nobody was. "So why can't I connect...oh, nevermind." And quietly went in and reset my DNS to automatic and about my work.[By: LordObsidian / 2009-07-02]
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Ouch! Did it hurt when you LARTted yourself right in the middle of the office like that ? -Necros
Don't feel too bad... I just did that the other day. I was helping a co-worker wipe and reload his PC (he received a hand-me-down). I made the mistake of "assuming" he was using an image off our ghost-cast server, and not using an ACTUAL windows installation disc. Low and behold... tried to connect it to the domain, and I kept going WTF?! Then I realized no Internet connection... "But how can this be?!" Checked Device Manager, missing Ethernet and SMBUS controller drivers. D'OH!!! -DarthKoenig
*grins* I can laugh about this now (and admit to it!) as enough time has passed: was talking a customer thru resetting their TCP/IP stack, and had several windows open while I multi-tasked... Somehow, in spelling out the command I actually typed it into a window without thinking... And it was the windows command prompt. Voila - no internets for me. Even worse, it's on a Win2K box, so had to close my 150 work apps and restart to get back online :( -rosemetal
I once took my gf on a 100 mile round trip to take my HiFi amplifier back to the shop. They un-pushed the mute button and gave it back. -rurwin
I disabled a NIC on a server...250 miles away. And we didn't trust the site with keys to the cabinet. "Can you say ROADTRIP? I know you could" /Mr. Rogers. -computerdoc
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16.
Virus, so I WANNA NEW MOUSE!!!
The customer had a virus on her system, so the previous tech had her start reinstalling Windows Vista: she apparently had installed Antivirus 2009 on her system, and lo and behold, had gotten a virus.
Fast forward a little bit. She called back into the queue, I took the call. I think she'd had a couple of Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters in the meantime. Started out neeping that our tech had given her a virus while he had connected to her system to diagnose the issue (I find that difficult to believe, because our client requires the customer to give permission before installing anything). Fine. I helped her install the device drivers needed for her system. She insisted, quite boisterously, that I connect to her system and install some real antivirus software for her. Whatever. Just because I wanted to make sure we fixed any possible issues, I connected to her system, downloaded AVG (the free version) and installed it for her. Then she started making noise about how "I want compensation for what that other tech did". I asked her what kind of compensation she wanted. She said, "I wanna new mouse." (Bear in mind, she has a laptop.) OK. Being a longtime TSC'er myself, I knew exactly where this was headed, but anyway, I told her I can't do that. Then she got louder, and insisted I get her a supervisor. I managed to find the night manager (he sits two rows over from me), and so I got him on the line.
He first told her that he wasn't going to send her a mouse for free, but that I could sell her one if she wanted. He asked her if she saw a mouse online that she liked. She said, "Yes, I have. The red one."
Finally he recounted the ways in which I had fixed her problem, and asked if there was anything else I could do for her. And wished her a good 4th and hung up.
Oh, by the way, I was 20 minutes away from going to lunch before taking this call. The whole call took over 2 and a half hours. And some people wonder why techs like food.......
[By: tech4alltrades / 2009-07-03]
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hahahhahaha, god, that's all too familiar. Why the fsck would she want a new mouse? Oh, and.. *cracks open bottle and hands it over* drink this. Don't ask, just drink. You need it. -AdmiralLaurie
She wanted a new mouse because far too many people today have been taught, from childhood, that they can have whatever they want if they just claim, in a loud enough voice, that they deserve it for all the horrible suffering they've been through. (Political? Me? Not at all, why do you ask?) -AnneBWalsh
Now there's a person that needs to go bite a fart. -vacuumtubes
VT, with the s!@# coming out of her mouth, shouldn't that have been she needs to bite back a fart? -spectreoflife
Inform the next one that the only way you can provide them with a new mouse is if a representative of your company had wrapped the cable around there neck and throttled them with it. Then ask for their address so that you can provide the mouse in person. -Vie
Here is the post that started the mouse crze on TSC, sorry for lack or foramtting no$ for star.
Subject: I want a new MOOOOUUSE
Okay, the inspiration for tihs is obvious after the last few days postings
To "I want a new drug" - Huey Lewis and the News
I want a new mouse
One I can point and click
One that goes just wherever I want
Not hard to use, ‘cos I’m so thick
I want a new mouse
One that won't hurt my hand
One that will clean up nice and fast
After I’ve been to porno land
One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
I never know what a double click will do
If a double click will do?
I want a new mouse
Can’t you hear me call
One that ain’t too hard to use
And has a nice clean ball
I want a new mouse
One that ain’t too rank
One that I can use in my other hand
When I feel the need for an online W*nk
One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
I never know what a double click will do
If a double click will do?
I want a new mouse
One with handy scroll
One that ain’t gonna cost to much
’cos I’m still on the dole
I want a new mouse
And a new mouse pad
Last one weren’t big enough
I went off the edge, (now ain’t I sad?)
One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
I never know what a double click will do
If a double click will do?
[By : K1W1 / 2004-04-19 There is no FUBAR without U. ]
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-THETECHFROMHELL
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17.
Another mouse story
Sorry for formatting, but college and kids drain the wallet too fast. So I gave my mom a newer computer a few weeks ago - an iBook. iBook for the reason of my mom loving to download viruses. Figured it would be a little easier on the maintenance. However, she requested a mouse due to the learning curve of a one button mouse. I dropped off a mouse to her yesterday while her roommate was out. I ran into her roommate a little while later in a store and jokingly quipped "you do not need to worry about hearing my mom complain about needing a mouse anymore. I just dropped one off to her." Roommate eyes went wide and I could see the gears turning ... "You gave her a mouse?!?" Me: "Yeah, for her laptop." Roommate: "OH! For the computer. Ok." Things calmed down a bit after that .... I don't know many people who would drop off a real live mouse. Definitely takes I want a mouse to a new level.[By: PCChaos / 2009-07-03]
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I can has cheezburger has lots new mouses.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/?s=mouse -robbor
Damn! I wanted to invoke rule 707 and Robbor beat me to it. :( -TheGhost
I'm sorry but I have to do this***
I WANT A NEW MOUSE!!!!! -THETECHFROMHELL
TECHFROMHELL: It was obligated, of course. :) -PCChaos
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18.
Happy 4th of July!
To all .... a happy and safe 4th of July! And to all the veterans ... thanks![By: PCChaos / 2009-07-03]
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What's good about it? ;-) </sour_Brit_mode> -Gromit
Personally I prefer the 5th. -robbor
I prefer "Independence Day". It helps me remember the meaning -Spyder19
the 4th is tomorrow. but happy 4th (independence day) to all. -compbrat
I wonder what the "finger population" reduction rate in the US will be on the 5th. -Stryker One
If anyone asks if you're good with explosives, simply hold up two open hands and say, "TEN!"
-VoiceOfSanity
Stryker - it's not just fingers, and it's not even the ones holding the fireworks that get hurt. My 12-year-old niece is blind in one eye because last year a smart-ass 19-year-old didn't want to put the pop-bottle-rocket into something sitting on the ground, and his hand was not holding the rocket straight up. The thing headed straight for her face, and even though she was turning her head as quickly as she could, that just meant it got her on the side of one eye instead of square in the middle of her face. -ManyHats
ManyHats: There used to be a book about a kid who was blinded by a firecracker. It was a good book - called Follow My Leader (no joke!). Here's a link: http://www.amazon.com/Follow-My-Leader-James-Garfield/dp/0140364854. Sorry, just a childhood memory coming back ... its a good read. -PCChaos
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19.
Expansion upon misconception
I posted a misconception that needs further expansion:
Mainly, we're not supposed to set up routers over the phone unless we're sure the call, from start to finish, will only take five minutes. Longer than that, we're a local company catering to local clients, they can come in and we charge them for router setup.
I adhere to this policy, my co-worker does not. Hence, when I customer calls and I tell them to bring equipment in, I get a slurry of "well so-and-so walks me through it!" Yeah, but he's not supposed, muppet!
Hence, I look like a lazy bitch to our customers used to dealing with the MAN of the department (which consists of two people).[By: Dragones / 2009-07-03]
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Ay-ay-ay. All I can say is, document, document, document. If they complain to your boss, point at the documentation and the policy on file. I know, sometimes even this isn't enough... but it seems to be all you can do. -AnneBWalsh
Personally, we get that all the time save for it's the boss will just put my computer up on the bench. My response is usually well, unfortunately there's no space on it right now, would you like to sign it in and leave it for (Boss)? No, really, I will not be able to do it immediately. Why? Because others with the same expectations as you have already had to leave their systems and they are being worked on now. -spectreoflife
"Well, thank you, ma'am for reporting this violation of company rules and policy, I will talk to his supervisor right away and have him disciplined for this violation. Is there anything else I can help you with."</pissed off tech> -LordObsidian
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20.
NT/OT
Now it is happy 4th (independence day) over here.[By: compbrat / 2009-07-04]
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Now it is all across the USA. Happy Birthday USA! -MadJack
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