|
Tech Stories Archives - August 2009
|
1.
Nearly Darwin Award Winner!
OK, so I am really overtired. I admit my brain is fried from working too hard. That doesn't excuse the STUPIDEST thing I have done in a long time. Note to self: Never, ever use a can of air to clean a computer that is sitting near a gas stove. It was quick and spectacular, and my hair is a lot shorter now.[By: NoneOther / 2009-08-01]
Comment on Story
Comments
When a customer buys canned air from my store I show them this picture to remind them to unplug it first. http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o141/boxxertrumps/my_spare_time_at_work.jpg -boxxertrumps
I have a can of non-flammable air. :-) -Chromatix
Are you saying I shouldn't have given the SF can of butane? -Holdfast
Used to go camping, and we'd play a game... Build a fire, let it burn down so the flames are low but not out. Toss in a can of something compressed and flammable, and see if we could shoot it with the BB gun before the pressure caused the can to go BOOM... Always entertaining, especially when you mix youth and alcohol... -exzyle2k
(Insert tasteless Michael Jackson hair on fire comment here) Now why did I read Chromatix' comment as 'a can of non-flammable HAIR'? Glad yer ok! - MadJack
Aie. Never did that, exactly, but I once caught the mantelpiece on fire with a candle... my mother still refuses to believe it, even after I've pointed out the burned spot to her... -AnneBWalsh
Potasium nitrate (saltpeter) + sugar+ heat (candle) + metalic container ( soup laddle) = blew up my bedroom. NEVER try to make a smoke bomb in this fassion. Upsides - it worked and for some odd reason i actually wasn't grounded... Downside.. thick chocking smoke,, several small fiers and having to remove just about EVERYTHINg from the room due to being singed or smoldering. -Harm
Fuego! -Starfury
When I was 10 I doused a 10'x10' patch of the lawn in gas (petro) and lit it on fire. My dad came running out with a fire extingusher and just looked at me. I had the water hose in hand and was just watching. -burrkiss
|
|
2.
The Best Fairy Tale ever.
A young Prince asked a fair maiden to marry him. She said no. So he lived happily ever after. He had lots of girl friends, drank lots of beer, played lots of golf, left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted to.[By: atomicbill / 2009-08-02]
Comment on Story
Comments
Are condolences or congratulations in order here? -srteach
and how long ago was this, again? (EG) -MadJack
Sounds exactly like my life. If you don't include everything that comes after "She said no." -YourLastHope
... and died happy having a massive corinary getting it on with all the playboy playmates. his Millions were donated to charity. -Harm
I'm jealous. -CyBear
I prefer, "...and so the knight rescued the maiden from the dragon. In gratitude, she offered her honour, he honoured her offer, and all night long it was on'er and off'er." -PCRaevyn
" and the next morning.. SHE WAS STILL THERE!!! AHHHHHHHH!!. " -Harm
Gnaw the arm off. -AngrySup
|
|
3.
Reasons for Reprimand
In the spirit of a radio station morning program I listen to (Dave & Chuck the Freak on 89X Windsor/Detroit), I thought we could all list some of the stupid things we've gotten in trouble for at work. My first contribution to that list is I got reprimanded for sneezing too loud (even though I sneezed into a tissue and muffled myself as much as I could). What about the rest of you?[By: SillyGirl / 2009-08-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
I got sent to the main campus principal's office for repeatedly hitting the control key to silence Jaws, instead of going through the even noisier process of shutting it down and restarting it. I got mostly in trouble because I told the teacher he was welcome to take points off my presentation, that I'd dispute it in front of the principal, and explain what I was doing and why. The kids were used to the slight clicking of the keys, and it was once every minute or so, thanks to windows update. -AdmiralLaurie
I got called into the office for excessive coughing spells, I explained that the reason I was coughing so much is from a co worker that wears purfume so strong that it causes me to cough and gasp for air. -THETECHFROMHELL
Just yesterday I was reprimanded for "only" working 388 hours last month. I quit today. -ThinTheHerd
I've gotten in trouble for telling the truth about issues we had with the computer systems here instead of lying. -Starfury
I was once told to not be so professional as it made the other employees look bad and they were upset. I quite a week after that lol -Crai
I once had my consulting services terminated by the state govt. entity I worked for due to the 1-2 punch of: 1) telling an outside user she had to go through the state helpdesk system before I could help her, and for fixing another department's secure proxy website before a high-profile deadline.
And now.... the rest of the story.
For punch #1, the woman had been pointed to me as the web admin directly by someone higher up the food chain at a time when the directive was that no work would be done without a ticket in the helpdesk. Unfortunately, she felt she was getting the runaround, and had enough juice in the state to complain to the governor's office(!) about how unhelpful I was. For punch #2, I'd been on the project for a month or two and had mentioned in a couple of meetings that the secure proxies another consulting company had designed would not work the way they thought they would, and that they'd need to do XYZ instead of ABC. I was told to set up the proxies as specified. Of course, it didn't work. As the high-profile deadline for bringing the site up neared, I was asked to fix it, and I did, spending 2 days of unplanned time getting it working correctly (and being fought each step of the way). I finally finished, and it worked correctly, though not at all how it had been planned. The site was up by the deadline. When I was asked to write up what the problems were and why we'd gotten in that spot, I was honest (perhaps brutally so) in my assesment of the other consultants' issues and abilities. This was deemed unprofessional and the other consultants complained, even though they really had hosed things badly. These two things were cited directly when the state chose not to renew my contract. -SalParadise
I've seen several of my coworkers reprimanded for having their average handle time /too low/ - despite perfect quality scores. -Seamus
My very first tech job as a contractor, they used Netscape for the web browser, my boss had spent 30 minutes working on an issue for one of our users, and couldn't get it resolved. I was walking by after fixing a different issue, and saw him get up saying he would have to research the issue. I asked about the issue, and he told me what it was doing, I sat down and fixed it in 10 minutes. This was infront of the officemanager. So I got repormanded for showing up my boss, and was terminated the following day, which happened to be my birthday. -Phylok
Back when I worked at MetLife, I had a co-worker that would occasionally take messages for other HD people, and he'd print out the note and leave it on their keyboard. Simple stuff, like "Call Fred in Accounting Re: password", but he would always print using 72pt font. We all thought it was cool, since we could see it from across the cube farm when we're coming back from lunch or whatever. One day he gets reprimanded by our manager: "Your fonts are too big..." Everyone in the dept died laughing. It became a running joke, that the manager would one day die of a heart attack, and his last words would be "Fonts!...." -AmazingKreskin
I got written up for not being able to physically be at 2 sites that are on opposite sides of the state at the same time. I won my case with HR and then left the company. -techinator
While not an official reprimand, a supervisor once commented to me that my AHT was too short as compared to the rest of the team. As in I was fixing problems too fast and making other team members look bad. During 'slow periods' it also increased the team's available status, which of course meant to manglement that we were over-staffed, not that when a customer called in they were greeted immediately instead of waiting on hold. -SirJosh
I had my first expense report rejected because it was too small. There was a minimum that my boss would accept per day. Since I was working nights, staying in a prepaid motel and eating KFC/MacDs after driving myself to the site, there really wasn't much to expense. I learned a new word that day, Per-diem. -TieDyedDinosaur
I was fired for mopping the floor, when I was a janitor, who was responsible for mopping the floor. -Icelator
For sitting in my cube, which is in the back of a hall where no one can see me, and quietly reading a book when there is absolutely no work left for me to do and three hours left in the workday, with the understanding that should I be needed the book goes aside instantly. I've been told that I should "find work to do" and that "we pay you for eight hours, you should work the full eight hours"--I would if you'd freaking TRAIN me on the rest of the stuff the department does like you keep saying you will! -AnneBWalsh
Got replaced at a temp job in an insurance company's records section. The records we were pulling were on microfilm tapes and the requests were all sheets of paper in a huge file cabinet. Requests were handled on a first in first out basis. I came in on the weekend, with manager approval, and organized them all into batches based on what tape they were on, that way one person could grab one tape and one bundle and work until done. This as opposed to getting one sheet and one tape, pulling one record, going back for another sheet and other tape ad nauseum. In 3 days, whole 6 month backlog is gone and drawer is empty, and I'm replaced. Made the new manager look bad that an 18 yr old temp figured out how to solve a problem he couldn't. Even with having to resort them on the way out into the order they came in we literally saved months of labor. -DarthLuke
I lost a job as a cable guy at a small company because of "customer complaints". The one they pointed to the most was for not burying a cable deeper than 2". The trick is, at that site 2" of topsoil rests on what amounts to natural concrete, and the company wouldn't rent me a backhoe. -TheCyberwolfe
I would have too many from my $hitty programming limited files, but one would be how I was constantly reprimanded for "disrupting office productivity" by performing my assigned duties as fire warden. -Wraith556
While trying to figure out an FTPS transfer problem, I wanted the client to verify that their firewall rules weren't blocking the traffic. Somehow this came through the client and back to our president in a personal phone call that I was "accusing them of causing the problem". Guess which client I'm not too helpful for anymore. -pcgod
I worked for IKEA for a while prepping their first store in this city proir to starting trading. On the Grand Opening Day all the head biggies were over from Sweden. I wandered in to the cafeteria at about 0600 on opening morning after pulling an allnighter and there were all the bigwigs filling balloons with balloon gas. After pausing a moment to watch them at close range I commented "I knew you guys were getting the big bucks for a reason". This was duly translated and we all had a good laugh. Then the manager heard about it and I got a stern reprimand. I had the last laugh however when they sprang for a noshup/schnapps-fest at a swish restaurant in town on the Company card while he got to stay back and perform the nightly backups. -Bloke
The sales director had acquired the tech pubs department and issued a company-wide email saying that all documents for inclusion in the manuals must be submitted in WordPerfect, (which even the tech pubs guys said was unnecessary.) I was software librarian at the time (a title with no real responsibility or power, given to avoid having to pay me more) and replied to this memo, with copies to my boss and the MD/CEO, saying that the company owned exactly three copies of WordPerfect, which were already in use by a large number of people. I included the phrase "this is, of course, illegal", and proceeded to list the prices of various licensing options. I never heard anything else about the matter, but I was never promoted again. -rurwin
Well, my father got in hot water with the boss for a too-low expense report. The thing is, both my father and his boss went to the same conference. The boss submitted an expense report 4x what my father did. -Loren
Back when I was a temp working as a PC/server rebuild tech for Compuserve, I was terminated for looking through the rest of the work requests (After taking the next in line) to see what other ones I could do simultaneously. My productivity was 3-4 times higher than the rest of the techs..combined... -VWFtech
I was once reprimanded for redoing the bosses 'back up battery scheme' during the first power outage since the boss set it up, when non of the vital servers had any power and the only thing with power was the router connecting one switch to the fiberlink...and neither the switch or the fiber were powered at the time. -drachen
|
|
4.
Gods I love my job....
... not only do I not deal with any idiots, or people threatening me with either legal action of physical damage - but I get to telecommute this week. :) I so love being able to sit at my dining room table, smoke, and work - and get paid for it. Thanks again for the Karma.[By: PCRaevyn / 2009-08-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
I'm not jealous. Much. -Tekkie
Congrats! The closest I get to telecommuting is when I'm on my cellphone dealing with problems before I finish the drive in to work! *grumbles* Oh well, congrats again! -Voz
"Smokin' a Winston, Drinkin' a Four-Oh, an' Keepin' it real...." -vacuumtubes
"Sippin on gin and juice,.. laid back..." /s. dogg -AngrySup
there is nothing on earth better then the telecommute. I log in, in my boxers, while rolling the first doobie of the day.
My ashtray sits next to me, my smokes are never far. It has saved many a suctomers life. -dredtech
|
|
5.
I Don't see it!??
We use Citrix in our work place. We also have a remote site setup where you can get to the Citrix apps via a web browser. I just spent 25 minutes on the phone trying to instruct a user on how to download it. Go to citrix.com, click downloads, choose Xenapp Plugin choose Web Plugin. For the life of me, he never could find it. I just gave up and told him to install it if he could find it. We don't support home computers. How does these people have jobs when they can't even follow FOUR clicks??? So I try to give him a link, and he can't even spell his email address properly. Naturally, when he FINALLY said the address and confirmed it was right, I send the message and guess what? It bounces what back! What a surprise![By: MothMonsterMan / 2009-08-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
I hope his checks don't bounce as much -Park7
"Hey! Let's see if THIS user bounces(throws user off balcony). Nope. Let's try another." -MacDaddy
You could always bounce Otis off their head. tink tink -THETECHFROMHELL
Holy crap I just realized my grammar is horrible here! That's what I get for typing it while I'm on the phone with him. I was beginning to sink to his level! -MothMonsterMan
|
|
6.
A literary treasure chest.
Went to Barnes and Noble to spend a gift certificate, found a treasure chest - ALL of the New Yorker cartoons on DVD inside a large coffee-table book of the same. $19.99 USD. Remember the original Adams Family?[By: TieDyedDinosaur / 2009-08-03]
Comment on Story
Comments
Wow! That was a $60 (or more) book! Is it a nationwide deal?? -figglywig
It was in the 'book deals' aka 'clearance' area so it may be somewhat random. The barnesandnoble website shows it still at $60. -TieDyedDinosaur
|
|
7.
The case of Customer vs. Microsoft
OK. Customer calls in, saying "I want to sue Microsoft." Now bear in mind, I don't work for Microsoft, nor has he called in to a Microsoft phone line: no, he called in to my OEM support line.
And why, pray tell, would he want to sue Microsoft? (insert drum roll here)
Before I go into that, a little background is in order. He's had this supposedly "brand-new" system since November 2008. It came with Office 2007 on it, which he's been using for nearly a year now.
OK, resuming drum roll....
He wants to sue Microsoft because they don't sell or support.....Office 2003!!!! Uhm, never mind that he's had ALMOST A YEAR to learn this new Office package, especially Outlook 2007, his app of choice. Whatever. Seems he used Office 2003 for years, and supposedly can't learn anything else. Uhm....yeah, whatever. Let's see you take on a $50 billion corporation and a small army of lawyers. All because YOU'RE TOO STUPID to pick up "Office 2007 For Dummies" and read it.
Bring it on. I want front row seats in the courtroom.
[By: tech4alltrades / 2009-08-04]
Comment on Story
Comments
That NEEDS to be live on TV when it goes to court :):) -ID10TKiller
The password is slapnutz. -vacuumtubes
"And if you call in the next 20 minutes, cuz you know we can't do this all day....." -Jeckler
Captain, you canna use the words, "User" and "Read" in the same sentence. It tear a Ginormous hole in the Space/Time Continuum. -Biosynthetic
*Grabs some popcorn, nachos, two hot dogs, a burger, and a large beer* Where's the case being tried? -HouseMDfan
Oh, I expect MS will support it. They just won't support it for FREE. -SirJosh
In the courtroom, Steve Ballmer loses it (again), picks up a chair ready to throw it...& is tased by the courtroom guards.
his bloated body reprises the moves from his "monkeyboy" dance & some wag starts chanting "Developers, developers, developers, developers..." -lineswine
could always mentioned MS is now barred from selling 03, or will be soon thanks to a little patent problem. -dredtech
|
|
8.
The (L)User Perspective
Long-time lurker here, very much enjoying the general atmosphere and postings. Afraid I won't be able to come up with the best stories, though.
See, I am not working in the technical support side of affairs in my current position. The things that you think of when you're on the other side of the techsupt/cust wall...
(1) We get Exchange accounts, limited to 30MB. Considering that a great deal of our job is sending and receiving PDFs that weigh in ~200KB, you need a great deal of discipline to keep those file sizes down. Okay, we're talking starfish here - discipline? What discipline?
(2) Without local admin access, can't install anything - everyone else is a limited user. Which is as it should be, right? Locked-down corporate environment and everything. Except...
(2a) No BIOS password, no disabling of CD/DVD/USB drives. Yeah, I can think of a few ways this could become very bad, no?
(2b) For over 2 years, the office has been a mixed environment of half-Office2K and half-Office2K7. I'm the only guy who installed (or can install without the admins involved) the Conversion Pack so that I can read the new file formats.
(3) CIO locks down 'Net access and blocks Facebook, MySpace, YouTube and a few other sites I have absolutely no idea which. CIO then pays a special trip to my cubicle and expressly forbids me from telling anyone ELSE how to circumvent blocks. I smile, say OK and merrily go on my daily work. After all, he didn't say *I* couldn't punch through the blocks. TOR works wonders...
(4) Just in case you think I'm your typical evil luser who knows just enough to be dangerous, I did help to avert a major disaster once. Boss went off on a trip with company laptop. Boss returns to office, plugs laptop into company network and BAM! NAV goes haywire as some Outlook Trojan starts sending crap to every address it could canvass. Sure, simple thing to pull out the Ethernet cable, manually close the ~500 NAV windows opened, and then do a full scan of her HDD, but (5a) before then scans were NEVER AUTOMATED and (5b) ALL of the IT guys were OOF on some conference or something.[By: xxmagus / 2009-08-04]
Comment on Story
Comments
Oh, wow, it's got intelligence. Quick, cage it for breeding. Is it really hard to save to disk and delete the attachments? I use Exchange web access here and, um, no. Are you sure you're in the right department there? -Jack
Jack, grow up. Is there anything you don't know to the point of instinct? Where you could use a little help, or encouragement? If you're joking, <joke> tags would help. As for breeding....Hmmm, female, cute, and with low standards? <evil grin> -CTYankee
They tried to tie us down as power users once. It lasted half a day; we are software developers, we install software every day, and mess about with PC configurations almost as often. -rurwin
Locking down and restricting internet access while keeping (almost) everyone as Users, rather than allowing Admin privilege? Sounds like either a company has to comply with HIPAA, PCI-DSS, or some other similar controls, or, they have just had a scare with cleaning up a "drive-by" download onto a network user's PC. Nothing but fun, fun, fun, every day! -Voz
HIPAA, not so much. Trojans, worms and other funstuff bogging down the network necessitating almost daily server reboots for the better part of a month, yes. That was when they started having admin scans enabled in our antivirus. And as for saving attachments, like I said, starfish. It gets to the point where I'm asked to email over stuff that (1) I emailed over less than a week ago and (b) resides on an openly accessible network share. -xxmagus
|
|
9.
Guess I missed the fun
Yesterday, I was out with a migraine, which I'm prone to getting from time to time, and I consciously refuse to drive anywhere with a migraine, least of all to work, but from what my boss just told me the department had a collective one of their own.
So my boss comes in and lets me know the main link between the two hospitals, which are approximately 20 miles apart, went down yesterday morning, and we had to resort to our microwave backup. It worked fine, but the people were all up in arms because there was still a bottleneck going on. Turns out, the geniuses who put in the microwave backup put it in a different building, one with inferior wiring, and connected to one of the oldest (read: slowest) switches in the hospital which the previous network admins never bothered to upgrade or tell anyone was still there, hence the bottleneck. The networking folks worked to upgrade the switch to one with 1GBit ports, and it took longer than expected. Fortunately no torches or pitchforks were seen, but it got close.[By: elcapitane / 2009-08-04]
Comment on Story
Comments
So old, it had a sign on it which read, "For service, call Hudsucker's Radio & TV at TWilight 5-6246...." -vacuumtubes
"Sarah, get me Mt. Pilot!" -cue the whistling tune. -Biosynthetic
Sounds like Mrs. Darling from the Discworld novels. You had your preception turned on and that is why you had the migraine. Otherwise you would have DEVELOPED the migraine while dealing with the problem firsthand! -TieDyedDinosaur
Isn't that Mrs. Cake? *runs for cover* -AnneBWalsh
DO NOT ASK ABOUT, dogs with orange eye brows, etc etc MRS CAKE ( yes it was Mrs Cake from Ahnk -Morpork) Sounds like a good day to stay home with a migrain.. miss out on the hell -Harm
Call me perverse, but it is GOOD to be at work when the shit hits the fan. You see, temporarily, it stops the bastards asking "What is it you techies DO all day?", thereby negating me having to say "plan a particularly painful demise for people who ask that question".
Also, you're appreciated for what you do, even in a "just fix it!" way. -lineswine
|
|
10.
Tech Dad? I dun believe that
Here is the conversation-- Them: I spilt some pop on my laptop keyboard. It would be fscking up by now if I had screwed it up. There is a black covering under the keys to protect the guts of the laptop, so I don't think of it managed to get there, and I was able to get all the pop up. brb, I am gonna tip the laptop upside down to make sure no liquid is left and I might lose my internet connection doing that. Me: That's a really stupid thing to do, tipping your computer upside down after you've spilled something on it, while the damn thing is running. You're supposed to shut down your computer before you do it. Or else you run the risk of damaging the computer if it isn't already. Them: My father is well versed in tech, and he said it would be okay. I am more likely to follow him on this. Me: Okay...if you say so. [By: HouseMDfan / 2009-08-04]
Comment on Story
Comments
So the question is, did he log back on afterwards? -Seamus
They didn't lose the connection, though I am unsure if they actually did tip it over... It made me wince when they wrote they were doing it. -HouseMDfan
My daddy does them there com-pooters. It's jest like a microwayv, sept more butuns. He can work the teevee real good too. He uses his shoe to change da channels. -Biosynthetic
Well, the real issue is the hard drive. Spinning at 5400 RPM that little puppy is a gyroscope. Inverting the laptop slowly is probably not going to hurt things. The rest of the issue is more difficult to quantify. You KNOW this clown then proceeded to bounce the laptop up and down to encourage the draining process! -TieDyedDinosaur
The "black thing"under the KB is likely a spill tray to catch that sort of thing. If it is properly designed, and I've never seen one designed properly, tipping the laptop will simply cause the stuff to spill out the side. Otherwise, it will run over the lip of the tray and into the insides of the previously working machine... -chazz
Tipping a laptop = disconnect??? -Stryker One
The more and more I read this site, the more I realized that my father is a rare breed of middle aged people who know what they are doing with computer. -DarkRookie
Well a little update, the person is still up and running from what I can tell, lucky little bugger. I still wince thinking about it. -HouseMDfan
Mmmmm - pop drying in a keyboard...it brings a whole new meaning to "sticky keys". -lineswine
|
|
11.
Do we REALLY need to pay this bill?
The company that hired me had me working on the Accounts Payable package they had bought from another company. Initially, most of my assignments was to create reports that weren’t available with this packaged software. Since I was new to this system, I occasionally called their support line with a question.
I had been employed with this company for no more than 6 months when I called the support line with one of my questions. After they verified the company I was with, they tranferred my call over to the collections department. Collections told me that the support bill hadn’t been paid and they wouldn’t give me an answer until it’s paid. I told my manager about it. He referred me to the CIO. When I told him, he asked me “Do you REALLY need this question answered?”[By: Park7 / 2009-08-04]
Comment on Story
Comments
I encountered this same situation, naturally the problem was one that prevented the system from working. Yes, the support bill was paid. -TieDyedDinosaur
"Do you REALLY need the customized reports?" Wait, if they decide they don't, there goes your job... -Divinar
My company did the same thing "We don't really need support for this software, it works fine" is what I was told. -LazyLemming
I've fought this battle to many times. Why should we spend money on something that you should prevent from happening? Upgrade? Patch? Hell, it works fine now...EERRRKKKK -AngrySup
At SAGGY Software AU, the CFO decided to not pay the maintenance contract on the (aging) servers because they never failed, and didn't tell anyone. I only found out when I had to call *ell when the guaranteed-to-fail DLT backup drive failed, and it cost $400 just to get the *ell tech in the front door, and more to get it fixed. Guess who was eventually all-but-fired for this, and it wasn't the CFO. -Wraith556
"OK, so we can't fix our Accounts Payable to Pay our Account with you until we Pay the Account so you can help fix our Accounts Payable?" ("I'll take, "Things I'd Like To Say", Alex, for $500!") -Voz
Since it was the users in Accounts Payable who wanted the assignment completed, the accounting department paid it -Park7
Back in the days when 300 MB of disk space meant a disk pack with 8 12" platters in a dish-washer sized enclosure costing upwards of $50K, I worked for a company that had one of these attached to a DG MV/4000 computer. One day, it, as h/w will occasionally do, failed. Big time. The dreaded head crash. Disk platter and drive heads totally kaput. Fubarred. Big time. No problem, we have a $3000/year maintenance contract. Or so we thought. It turns out our idiot company pres decided that this contract was a totally unnecessary expense, and cancelled it. Without telling us. Imagine our surprise when we learned that (a) DG would be out to repair it, not the next day, but some time within a week. During which we're totally DITW. And (b) it will cost us the full price of a new drive and disk pack. And imagine the CEO's surprise when we marched into his office to tell him all this.... -rdwells
I've been on the other side of this. A customer was telling us they hadn't accepted a system, even though they'd been using for a year, and therefore wouldn't pay for it. One day they dropped a 400kg weight ten feet onto the computer. We said "I'm sorry, but the accounts department wont let us buy you another computer until you pay for the last one." They faxed a copy of the cheque within the hour. -rurwin
|
|
12.
The phonetic alphabet has changed.
I guess it would be clear though.
http://notalwaysright.com/flying-the-foul-mouthed-skies/2306
[By: Stryker One
/ 2009-08-04 ]
Comment on Story
Comments
I've dealt with stupid f$cks, but that one takes the cake, icing and the serving knife! -AdmiralLaurie
That would make things a bit more interesting. Be fun to say asshat to a customer without getting into trouble. -DarkRookie
Why is it whenever I end up on notalwaysright I end up spending at least 1/2 a hour there -colk
|
|
13.
NT/OT - didn't want to bump lotd
But, does anyone want a flying motorcycle? ... http://homelandsecuritynewswire.com/single.php?id=8448
[By: Ramblin / 2009-08-04]
Comment on Story
Comments
10 bucks says it looks nothing like a motorcycle when done, probably more like the short length gliders... -drachen
I'm guessing the developers have been watching reruns of Galactica 1980 again. -Biosynthetic
Wow, this looks pretty impressive. Would love to see what they eventually come up with. Reminds me a bit of this: http://www.terrafugia.com/ -pcgod
drachen- you got it. Apparently not so much a motorbike, more like a flying Reliant Robin. Linky- http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/04/flying_motorbike/
Or maybe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b4WzWFKQ20 -oldster
|
|
14.
O/T True friends...
..bring you chocolate mud cake to your desk when they hear you're not feeling great. Thanks mate, you made my day! [By: rosemetal / 2009-08-05]
Comment on Story
Comments
No dear. A Friend will bail you out of jail at 3 AM. A TRUE Friend will be in the cell next to you saying "Damn! That was fun!" . XD -Necros
A friend will help you move, a True Friend will help you move a body! -Caboose447
Hey, long time no hear! eamil me, wouldya? -AdmiralLaurie
A siblng will show up at 3am to theortically bail you out, remeber some past transgresion when you were 2, and hand you lube instead. a friend will bail you out, a TRue friend will bail you out, sit down at the diner - buy you berakfast and say " so same time next week? I'll help YOU over the fence this time" -Harm
A true friend will help you move bodies, BUT since I have no bodies to move, I'll take the mudcake... -udoshan
WTF is chocolate mud cake? Surely that doesn't have real mud in it? -CommanderData
CD - chocolate mud cake is like chocolate cake on crack. If you've tried really good german chocolate cake, and mississippi mud cake, it's like a combination of them both. This particular mud cake had real chocolate in the mix, as well as slathered on the outside. Nom, nom. -rosemetal
Sounds like my dad's killer cake. Basically a brownie, but with chocolate chips, fudge folded into the mix, and a mocha frosting. Eat only one small slice or you will regret it. -AnneBWalsh
Chocolate mud cake is not exactly choc cake on crack. It's choc cake on *choc*. Most cakes are supposed to have a light, fluffy consistence - well, a mud cake has the consistency of mud. It's like eating the essence of chocolate. Very, very bad on the ol' ticker, but oh so worth it. -xxmagus
|
|
15.
Sackful of Yoghurt - backstory
posted in the Break Room: http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?p=151671#151671[By: SoldierJedi / 2009-08-05]
Comment on Story
|
|
16.
(OTNT) Where's Wald-- Shujin Tribble
I know.. I know... a couple have been wondering where I've been the last wee--mon--long-assed time.... short answer is I've been at furaffinity.net more, Second Life more (80's DJing, fund raising for Ride for Roswell too), AnthroCon more (fursuited as a Tribble, did a semi-pro photo-shoot with the female fursuits AND got a tattoo - Pics on Flickr and FurAffinity), still being Mister Mom (Tinyribble is going into 2nd grade!).... I'm not ignoring you guys, not by a long shot. Just been having more rough patches while growing out of my mental handicaping: Broken Brains are getting a lot better. I'm sorry I haven;t been around nearly as much as before - but I promise, I haven;t forgotten you, my tech breathren. Just been..... healing more, I think. I'm still on AIM and YahooIM and Skype, so I'm never far away... and I'm still running Ubuntu, thank you VERY much. (*GRIN*) I promise guys... I'm still around... and "Still Alive". **Your most humble and spherical.... Shujin Tribble[By: ShujinTribble / 2009-08-05]
Comment on Story
Comments
Hmph. Didn't notice. *calls off search party* -ThinTheHerd
Just when you thought we'd got rid of him.... ;-) -Gromit
I *TOLD* you all that we shoud have moved and left no forwarding address! ;-) Nice to hear from you!
-CyBear
Who is this guy, anyway? ;-) -Divinar
awwwww, *cuddles the tribble* I think we're always here for you. -AdmiralLaurie
Wait a sec ... I call BS! Shujin wouldn't be "Still Alive". "Stayin' Alive" via 70's retro or "Alive" ... maybe. ;-) Good to see your keyboard still works XD -Necros
Welcome back ST; about TIME you poked your head out! -udoshan
That story made me google image to see if anybody cosplay as a tribble at Comic-Con. None found, but that would have to be the laziest costume in the world. -Biosynthetic
Actually took a bit of consideration.. and it still turned out hideous, far as I'm concerned ( http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/shujintribble/ ).. but it WAS unique! Going to see about V2.0 soon. -ShujinTribble
*Laughs* That thing is scaarry. -LazyLemming
"Captain! The tribble infestation has resurfaced! Should we call the Klingons, or the exterminators?" :p <good to see you around!> -TheGhost
welcome back -compbrat
wb, nice to see you again -PCRaevyn
Welcome Back ST...I'm sure you'll be no tribble at all </scotty> -lineswine
|
|
17.
stupid tax
http://www.ktvb.com/news/localnews/stories/ktvba-aug0509-drugs_in_bank.ae63c58c.html[By: compbrat / 2009-08-05]
Comment on Story
Comments
Par for the course these days... -LazyLemming
stupidity can be its own reward. I thought that'd be a probation violation. -AdmiralLaurie
every state has em, even my state ... -srteach
Ya can't fix stupid. And tweakers are stupid. -Grembo
|
|
18.
NT/OT Amusing vid
http://users.telenet.be/kixx/ sfw and amusing use of flash, WARNING this video will resize your browser window while it is playing, but thats because it is part of the act. Maybe watch it at home just in case [By: starfishmagnet / 2009-08-05]
Comment on Story
Comments
Cute. -LazyLemming
watch in a non maximized window and not in a tab. -Icelator
Link opened another tab in FF and worked well. -Holdfast
Lol. Note, best to view in a new Firefox, Safari, Chrome, etc /window/. If you watch it in IE and the "navigation" sound is enabled in the sounds control panel, there will be a constant clicking! -linuxmatt
Correction, it does not seem to work in Chrome (at least not the dev channel). It does, however, work in Safari. -linuxmatt
Cute! :D -FreakyFerret
Firefox, by far, works best.
Again, not maximized. -Kid
|
|
19.
Whimper...
It's the full moon again. I've come to dread this time of month. Maybe it's the fact I'm only dealing with locals in an area that is surrounded by major waterways and maybe that explains it, but there are names that only show up on my call display during the full moon. At least it will be a few months before the next billing cycle/full moon combo, but still.
Crazy people. I sees dem.[By: Dragones / 2009-08-05]
Comment on Story
Comments
Ah, you have lunar chronics.... -vacuumtubes
My Intarwebz is down, fix it Now-oooooo! <runs> -lineswine
Your a dragon........... A DRAGON....... just eat em. -burrkiss
|
|
20.
Signs your dispatcher may not be
familiar with the subject matter:
changed EDN port at cabinet, and changed settings from TTPOA to TTPOE[By: rosemetal / 2009-08-05]
Comment on Story
Comments
Ok, I'm lost. EDN? Erectile Dysfunction Network? TTPOE? Twisted Triad Power Over Ethernet? TTPOA? Twisted Triad Power Over Avian??? -Stryker One
PPPoE and PPPoA are protocols used by DSL modems. As for the rest, I got nuthin'. -Chromatix
Sounds like he opened a tin of alphabet soup, dipped up a spoonful and typed in the letters in the spoon. -AdmiralLaurie
Naw, more like took a mouthful of alphabet soup, read TSC, and then typed what stuck to the monitor! -Voz
EDN = DSLAM, sorry, but yes - it was dictated as "changed from PPPoA to PPPoE" but, well, the lovely new-ish guy obviously wasn't sure what he was writing :P -rosemetal
|
|
Read More Stories from August 2009 (148 for this month)Back to the Archives Section
|
