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Tech Stories Archives - August 2010
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1.
ACHTUNG!
Built my first 3 servers a few days ago, after that me and the other 2 tech went out to lunch. When we came back, a notice had mysteriously appeared on the stack of servers.ACHTUNG!!!
ALLES LOOKENPEEPERS Dies Machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mitten-grabben.
Is easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfuse and poppencorken mit spitzer sparken.
Is nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen.
Das rubber necken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets, relaxen und watch das blinken lights. I enjoyed it anyway, good to see the boss has a sense of humour! [By: Lentron / 2010-08-01]
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an oldy, but a goody! -Bynar
anyone wanna translate for the rest of us? Online translators don't seem to work too well... - Caboose447
Because that is quasi-Deutche. -Seamus
Just as English hackers made this fractured-German text, apparently Gernam hackers have made the similar fractured-English text: "ATTENTION This room is fullfilled mit special electronische equippment. Fingergrabbing and pressing the cnoeppkes from the computers is allowed for die experts only! So all the “lefthanders” stay away and do not disturben the brainstorming von here working intelligencies. Otherwise you will be out thrown and kicked anderswhere! Also: please keep still and only watchen astaunished the blinkenlights." -chazz
Background: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blinkenlights -Jack
Ach, du Lieber! -Captain Trips
Ah! I had that posted over my servers 15 years ago. :) Good times. -Tekkie
Translation: Warning! All nosey people! This machine is not for finger poking or grabbing. It's easy to break.It is NOT for handling by dumba**es. Any rubber neckers, keep your hands in your pockets, relax and watch the blinking lights. Basically, if your not a tech, keep your mitts to yourself! -Lentron
Himmel!! (1000 points for anyone who not only remembers the jokes those come from, but the name of the character in them who used that line, b/c I CAN'T!!!) -MadJack
Is that from the movie The Pest at all Jack? "Heil Himmel! Oh, insane hi Himmel...hi" -Lentron
Nope, just a bunch of jokes I read in RD (at least, I think it was in RD, anyway) all based on experiences of the same german-schpeaking charater.... -MadJack
I remember that from around 1973 or so, it wasn't even that easy to find a photocopier, so it's amazing how those things got around back then...
I suspect telex operators made things go international..... -AlanSmithee
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2.
impatient much?
We have these beancounters that walk by your desk every couple minutes to roust you out of call-work and question why you're on a long call (and by "long" I mean it's gone on over 20 minutes, which is reasonable). Expected handle time is seven or eight minutes. Well, the other day I was explaining some price plan details to a customer on the phone, and one of the desk-jockeys sits down next to me. I look over at him, and he says, "I know you've only been on this call for nine minutes, but I have to ask why you're on a long call... our handle time as a center today has been too high so we need you off that call." Ahem, my handle time has been just fine, thankyouverymuch. Thirty seconds later I'd answered the customer's questions and the call ended. Annoybot goes away. Usually when they ride you about handle time, there's a long queue waiting. No, at this moment there was 20 seconds between calls, and it went up to 30 when I left about half an hour later... absolutely no reason to be in a rush. Guise, chillz.[By: Mushroom / 2010-08-02]
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That is when it should be allowed to say, "Sorry sir, there's someone from accounting here saying this call is taking too long. We're almost done, but please call back to finish with another agent who has no idea what we've already discussed. Have a pleasant day." *release* -Calydor
You can only be as fast as your slowest customer... -udoshan
Damn, brother! Sorry, gotta say it... "Somebody's got a case of the Mondays!!" (VHEG) -MadJack
More like a case of the Fridays. I wanted to GOOOOO!! -Mushroom
The last time that happened to me I told them to go ahead and take the call from me and finish it faster them selves. She was pissing and moaning at me about call control, I said here ya go... you control the call. -THETECHFROMHELL
There are TWO primary rules for beancounters. 1) The numbers define reality. 2) The system does NOT fail. People do. -Wraith556
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3.
please put the capable person on now
It's one minute until the hour I get off. Two calls come in, both dead air, so I'm jazzed that I may be leaving work on time. And ten seconds before the second hand hits 12, a call rings in. Okay, fine. Bobby Hayseed here starts blathering about something indeterminant, and every time I repeat back what he's said thinking I've identified the issue he says "no, no..." and says something totally different. This happened three times. Out of nowhere, as in I had no idea this was a three-way call until this moment, his girlfriend chimes in with "shut up, honey" in the sweetest voice and then tells me exactly what the issue is, which I fix in fourty-five seconds. So I left five minutes after the hour -- and four of those minutes were a complete waste of time.[By: Mushroom / 2010-08-02]
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That describes my time at work: 4/5 of it is a waste of time. -MisterCommon
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4.
one way to fill the hold time
I had to put a customer on hold while I contacted another department for assistance. I come back to update the customer, and what I hear is gurgle-gurgle-gurgle-gurgle ssssspt. Yes, I know it's happened to a few of you out there in TSC-land: My customer is taking a massive rip off the bong.[By: Mushroom / 2010-08-02]
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Did he offer you a hit off it? Had that happen to me once. -TechnoVampire
" DUDE!!! Share!" -Harm
Harm: that's "No Bogarting!" (EG) -MadJack
Whats the most common word used by stoners? No, its not "dude", its *EAR* -burrkiss
so when are they going to perfect Bong Hits over TCP/IP? -ecoli
Bongs are so old-fashioned. Get a vaporizer. -Captain Trips
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5.
lucky for me, not so much for them
A floor lead was told by my supervisor to sit in with me for a couple calls to see how I do my thing and offer suggestions on how to do them better. I had a moment of trepidation but figured that the universe is a crapshoot so hopefully I'd get something easy. And my first monitoring worked out better than hoped. (My second, a simple and relevant call, got me kudos.)
Woman calls in to ask how to forward calls from her home phone to her cell phone. I start to tell her about star-seven-two which she would have to do on her home phone, and she explains that the reason she's calling me about this is because the power is out at her house... so wanted to know if there was some way to initiate forwarding of her home line via some button-pressing on her cell phone. I said I was sorry but the forwarding has to be configured via the line that calls are to be directed away from (while thinking, "none of your home phones are standard line-powered devices?"), and the customer went away dolefully.
I turned to the reviewer in the moment of call-work and said, "Welcome to my life." She replied, "Well, can't rate that one." [By: Mushroom / 2010-08-02]
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<da>With most VOIP services, call features can be configured via website.</da> Of course, if it wasn't a VOIP line, they're SOL. -AmazingKreskin
Just so you know. Any decent land line company will enable call forwarding if you call them on another line and prove ownership of the account. I have done this a few times when our land line was down due to storms. -DataSolutions
And, with more and more land line units going the "wireless" route, they need "mains" power to at least recharge the handset, and usually won't work at all with only phone-line power. (I keep a couple of "unpowered" units around just for this kind of situation -- including an old butt-set. -Captain Trips
I take it she didn't own an actual corded phone. Sigh.... -THETECHFROMHELL
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6.
to flirt or not to flirt
I'm talking to this young man from Kin-Tuck-Kee and he needs to call some other department that is not open at the moment, and I offer to give him the phone number so he can contact them tomorrow. I start with the one-eight-hundred and he says "Are you writing this down?" His similarly young wife on the extention phone, that I was not previously aware had been listening in, says "Yeah, I'm gonna write this down, give me a moment."
So I sit there for a few seconds waiting for her acknowledgement to continue. I hear her say, "Honey?" I think she's talking to her husband. She continues, "Honey, are you there?" Wait... I say, "Are you ready for that number?" She replies, "Yes, go ahead, honey." Shit, she's calling me 'honey' with her husband on the line. This might be common among the grandparental aged people but it's downright courageous to do to someone when you're a 20 year old woman... [By: Mushroom / 2010-08-02]
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Depends on what part of the country you're from. In rural parts of Indiana, this is not uncommon from country folk of all ages. -RiffRaff
The Wife calls people " sweetie" at the time - male or female . Some places use Hun, or Honey ( personally i find it happens more in the south) nothin to it - kinda like calling a guy " Man " or " Dude" -Harm
Kentucky, yeah, lots of people do that around here (I'm just across the border in WV). -Seamyst
During an otherwise uneventful call the other day, a lady called me "Sweetie" 6 times and "Honey" 4 times. -MisterCommon
KY is south of the Mason-Dixon line. It's not out of line for her to be calling you "honey", really. -pixel
now if she had called you 'sweet-ass' or 'sexy' then that'd be flirting. -drachen
*breaks out the Cat5-tails* That's "SIR" to you! Now bark like a dog!! -unrenowned
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7.
hello, batshit!
I just broke my record for the longest call with the shortest message: the call lasted 13 minutes, and it was 7:40 into it before the woman said "I will be making a payment next Thursday; that's what I called to tell you." The rest of the call, gawd, I wish I had a recording of. It included praying for the Obama family, the joy of oil spills, disability from her supermarket job, how her little dog taking a pee caused her identity to be stolen, details about her roomie who keeps answering her (the caller's) cell phone then getting the messages/callback numbers wrong, her Swedish last name and all the sexual stereotypes that go along with it (she was 62 so thanks for the mental image), and a myriad of stuff that made my head spin... happily it was break time when I got off that call so had a few minutes to walk around in a daze outside to shake the crazy off.[By: Mushroom / 2010-08-02]
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Sounds relatively normal, you should meet my neighbors. -randyskier
This sounds eerily like one of our long-term guests (who has your employer for her ISP, btw). I don't know what's worse, talking w/ her on the phone or having her at the front desk! (G) She has her moments, but, FTMP, she's just a sweet & VERY dotty older lady who tips Well.... -MadJack
So, you'll be sending her a tin-foil hat? (Oh, don't be put off by they 62-year-old sex stuff. Look at Raquel Welch - and she's 70! And Sophia Loren is even older. Yet I'll bet you'd fantasize about either of them!) -Captain Trips
Sounds kind of like you're dealing with Porn Surfing Grandma, exceptyou didn't say whether she liked dealing with Chinese Jews :) -tech4alltrades
You haven't seen crazy until you have talked to OUR crazy customer! There's PAGES of notes about him! -KrazerKap
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9.
We need to make this real
A licence test would also be handy - http://www.agent-x.com.au/comic/cancel-your-internet-licence/ [By: AussieFoot / 2010-08-03]
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Oh, that's excellent! And I agree about the licensing but it should start with the computer, before they even get to the internet. -Tekkie
True but then will will have a wallet full of licenses for 'puters. One for the case, one for mobo, one for HDD, one for optical drive, one for memory, one for proc., one for heat sink, one for video card, one for any extra expansion cards, one for having multiples of anything in the system, one for the OS, one for the networking stack, one for the modem, one for the router, one for the cable and/or WLAN card/USB stick, one for the browser, and finally one for the internet. What is that 17 or 18? Hmmmm, at 15 dollars a pop, that is somewhere between 255 and 280 for the state, multiple 20 million, comes to between 5.1bil and 5.6bil dollars. That is alot of money. -DarkRookie
Vernor Vinge -- True Names -Loren
Now, hey, more than a few geeks like us are guilty of 3, 7, & 8! How else are ya gonna build a 501 member family for Mafia Wars, s33? (VHEG) -MadJack
Our whole company is guilty of #1 -- but that's because the software we are finally rolling out was written when IE6 was state-of-the-art! (It kind-of works in IE7, and won't work at all in IE8, let alone more sensible browsers like Firefox, Safari, or Chrome - let alone Opera.) -Captain Trips
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10.
A question on ethics...
There is a story in the news about milk from cloned cows...
Here is a question for you - is it ethical to pay for cloned milk with a photocopy of a five pound note ?[By: Wonko The Sane / 2010-08-03]
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cloned milk? cloned money?..... works for me!!! -duckhead
lol, only if the photocopy was made out of the same type of paper as the real note. Just cause it's a Clone doesn't mean it's not real. now if you get your hands on some currency paper and some plates and an itallio press, and need someone to spread the product around let me know. -drachen
intaglio. -srteach
When you clone the money, it may be fair to randomly put something unkown onto the paper as well. Perhaps something that sets off allergies or is carcienogenic. -Holdfast
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11.
Why can't I kill them?!
A few days ago I wrote how I was instructed to staples cables to the wall because they're apparently a "Tripping" hazard underneath the desk. My curiosity how you can trip over a cable underneath a desk while sitting down aside, this has been done. Well Mrs. Safety as we will now call her decides 2 days after I do this, she doesn't like the flat scissor key keyboard she has, and wants it replaced with a more standard one. *Headdesk* I peel all the cables out, and give her a replacement keyboard. Now today, another 2 days later, she decides she hates her friggen mouse and "can't work with it." Best of all, I'm told "That's your job" if I lodge any friggen complaints or refuse to do it. Yet they look at me like there's something wrong with ME when the seething rage boils over and I snap on someone... /rant[By: LazyLemming / 2010-08-03]
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It's called hostile work environment. -McSmiley
Yeah. Sounds like the groundwork for constructive dismissal to me. -NightSteel
Document, document, document everything. That being said, document all the reasons why stapling and possibly crimping cables (causing damage to said cable) and replacement issues are a bad idea. Personally if someone is that anal, grab some velcro strapping and some zap straps to make a system if possible to secure them at the back of the desk. If it's rejected, start cataloging all the damaged externals from someone -pulling- it back too far and ripping it out of the stapling. -spectreoflife
As I see it, there are two tripping problems: the cables as the cause, the users as the 'victims'. Two ways to solve it: staple the cables to the underside of the desk. Second, staple the user to the underside of the desk. If they can't move, they can't very well trip, can they? No hardware replacement issues either. Problems solved. -RamenMcTavish
That reminds me of my former manager. He had, and may still have, a plastic cable tie fetish. Every wire in his office, when he was here, and I mean every one, was tied every 6 incches, I think he measured it. When his mouse died, probably from him banging it on the desk when it didn't move where he wanted it to, he simply cut off the wire from the mouse and zip tied in a new one. -ChildofCthulhu
Actually, stapling velcro ties hadn't occurred to me. Good idea, that'll save me some headache. I knew I loved you guys for a reason. -LazyLemming
Um, what's wrong with a simple "No."?
Unless they can provide black and white documentation that they've tripped, you can carry out a risk assessment yourself, and if you find there's no trip hazard under a desk from standard computer wiring, you cannot justify the stapling of cables. -SoldierJedi
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12.
My longest call EVER!
My longest call ever:
I talked an auto mechanic through manually correcting all his network settings on 7 different PCs that ranged from Win NT thru XP Pro and then loading a database program that had a CD and a floppy for the install and then 2 DVDs that had the data. Some of the PCs didn't have floppy drives (not a big suprise in 2002) and some didn't have CD drives and finally only 2 had DVD drives that could read our high density dual layer DVDs. So I had to map to the floppy and CD drives to load the program then map to the DVD drives so they could get the data.
Total time on the call...7 hrs 45 min streight!
So what is the longest call you've have had?[By: AniMaL / 2010-08-03]
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continous? - 6 and a half hours walking a tech through taking apart and putting back together a huge laser printer. time wise- over 36 hours spread out over maybe a dozen calls and 2 months or so troubleshooting why a printer needed powercycling every morning (electrical issue with the house). -frprinterwiz
The longest I've spent on a support call was about five hours getting it all put back the way the suctomer liked it. But I got a ginormous piece of butter pecan cake and all the coffee I could drink. -AdmiralLaurie
Longest single call was about 4½ hours long. I had to trouble some OS issue that should've been a Reinstall to prove that it was fixable and then reinstall the OS when it wasn't fixed. 2 for the troubleshooting, 1 for the reinstall and 1½ for the driver/software installs. Fun. Missed lunch and a break over that. -DarkRookie
For me, onsite call when the primary exchange server decided the users were too stupid, and committed suicide to avoid them. I spent just over 50 hours onsite between revival attempts, setting up a new server (which luckily had just arrived at clients site for another project, but could be re-assigned), migrating accounts, rebuilding the secondary servers and gateway because none were compatible with the new version of exchange that we elected to install since we had to rebuild, and it seemed like a good time. That's also the only place I've worked at where I could actually recognize the night staff. -garwain
Longest call - about 3 hours. Longest onsite - 27 hours from 9am on Friday morning until 10am the following day. Don't remember much of the rest of Saturday. -Diptera
About 6 hours, but I was the one calling for support. The software company cough*CCC*cough, knew virtually nothing about their own software and had me delete (DOS app) and reinstall on the server from the CD, at which point printing wouldn't work. After more hours on the phone, I finally figured out what their error message meant and copied a file from the CD that the program installer neglected to copy. I never called them again. That's 6 hours of my life I'll never get back. -sassicatz
Longest call I don't re-member for I try to forget as soon as I hang up... Longest service call, 5pm friday to 10am monday, planned migration from workgroup to domain 50 workstations -DedSysOp
Longest call ever was ~5 hours. Setting up a remote user and downloading an over bloated profile on dial up...in europe...Server location?....Houston. -0gr3
A full 8 hour shift, then a call-back for 4 hours the next day to resolve one issue. -ThinTheHerd
OK, an all-day call with the same person trumps any combinations thereof (and we've all had some, I remember some times at St.Ream and ONP dealing with the same person 2-3x in one day making a combined call time of 5 hours avg, but to answer the first call of the day and still be on it at the end of the day.... OY!! -MadJack
Longest call for me regarding a Network issue was probably a triangular VPN setup between 3 SOHO VPN routers where each router was strategically placed in New York, Dallas and California. I was in a teleconference with all of them. Took 4 hours for them to realize and give me the credentials to the routers. It took me 30 mins to get them all hooked up and running. If they had all given me access to the routers the call would have been over for 4 hours prior. -kennz
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13.
And this has to do with tech how ???
I am a tech trainer, and part of my job is to be available to answer questions for students who are taking pre-recorded classes. As I am sitting here reading TSC, I get asked the following ...
"Where can I buy 50 manilla folders? Cheap?"[By: Source / 2010-08-03]
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In Manila of course. -AussieFoot
hey bub.... i got some for ya right here.... practically free... just sign here.... -slowANDeasy
As IT, you have the ability, neigh the RESPONSIBILITY, to search for, hunt down, and announce, the lowest price of any item anyone could ever buy.... Ever. -LazyLemming
Best Buy? --- dives for the nearest lart shelter. -kennz
If this was last year when all of the legacy WAMU employees were laid off by JPM Chase, you could have them for free! Just provide your own dumpsters. -TieDyedDinosaur
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14.
A conversation
Background: the laptops where I work use a virtualized environment to run Windows...on Windows. IS Management loves this...the users HATE it. I get a call this morning from one of our attorneys. He says that he heard the new desktop systems will have the same setup as the laptops. I confirm this for him and then we have short conversation. Him: Who makes these decisions? What do you think of it?
Me: Well you can talk to Communication manager/Helpdesk boss about it, the helpdesk doesn't make decisions on how the computers are set up. I don't have an opinion on how things are done, I like my job.
Him: I understand that. Those people are f*cking morons that decided to do this. The call ended with me thinking: No matter who you talk to IS Management will never admit that they made a mistake with the environment we use. NEVER [By: Starfury / 2010-08-04]
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The "Doublemint" install method -Source
"Mongo only pawn in game of life." -TechieSidhe
virtualised environment in windows? running windows atop windows? how.... inefficient. -AdmiralLaurie
Obligatory meme : "Yo dawg, I heard you like windows..." -LazyLemming
...So we put Windows in your Windows, so you can crash, while you crash. -Seamus
So, what kinda mileage you get offa that thing, there? Gotta be, what- 1.5GB RAM to run IE? A-yup. -LDFeral
Makes me think of B5: "Zathras is used to being beast of burden to other people's needs. Very sad life. Probably have very sad death. But, at least there is symmetry." I vote for a new word for the lexicon, for a lon-suffering tech: ZATHRAS! -CTYankee
Those damn double-glazing salesmen are getting into everything! -AussieFoot
VPC sessions are also a cheap-ass way of setting up PCs. Once the windows and office have been registered in the original session, you can copy the environment to as many locations as you want. -Wraith556
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15.
Surprise! It's a server!
So since my more recent posts have been more rants, I figure I'll post something of a comedic nature (I found it funny atleast) that happened a few weeks back. I'm sitting in my office one day, pretty slow day basically, and I get this call from our pharmacy. Apparently the computer in the closet was beeping. Course my response was "Computer in the closet? What the hell? I only order straight computers." So anyways, I wander over to the pharmacy to work whatever mojo needs to be worked (And to figure out why there was a computer in a closet). I get there and what do I find?! A 3 PSU, 2 processor Pentium II server, with absolutely nothing connecting to it except power, with a failing APC UPS screeching at me. Nobody has any clue what it's for, just that "It's been there." I even called my old boss at her new job, and she had no idea. I run off, get a USB keyboard Mouse and monitor, hook it all up. Lo and Behold, it's our old prescription server, one replaced years ago. One that according to the software, had over 2.5 years of uptime. Considering the suckiness of our local power company, I buried that UPS with honors.[By: LazyLemming / 2010-08-04]
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Hooray! New LINUX box for you -PoglaTheGrate
Three PSUs? One for each phase? -Chromatix
For an older machine, that ran quite a while. Tough little machine. But now enough about that. I agree, time for LINUX server! -KrazerKap
School I work with has received, as a donation, a pair of old (one dual 700, one dual 900) servers, one with two redundant PSUs, one with three. I guess the triple PSU idea is that you have it running off three separate feeds, to give you triple redundancy against power failure on any feed. -chazz
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18.
Why the IDI0T's mouse doesn't work
ID10T calls into my department, first call of the morning for me. He has a brand new desktop system, right out of the box. Opens it up, connects all the cables etc. He got a wireless Logitech mouse with said system. Puts the batteries in, turns the switch ON.....and nothing happens on the mouse (LED doesn't light up). Fine, whatever. Had him take the batteries out. No wonder....he'd put them in with the plastic wrapper still on the batteries. Fine, Took that off, mouse LED c omes on....and then goes off. He moves the mouse around wildly: nothing happens. Asked him if the computer was on: turns out....nope. Fine, Powered on PC, bingo! Mouse and PC are now happy campers. Uhh...yeah....mice need power to work...... and the PC has to be ON for the mouse to be able to do anything......
[By: tech4alltrades / 2010-08-04]
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I WANT A NEW USSSEEEERRR!!! -Seamus
Zombies would starve with this one. -AussieFoot
My boss once said, "Oh, so, the mouse works over the wireless network? What happens if it goes down?" -MrsCheezil
Plastic wrap still on the batteries. I have to admit that's a new one to me. Amazing. Even the dumb ones usually know how AAs work. -LazyLemming
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity." /R.A.Heinlein -Captain Trips
I got used to all sorts of stupid questions surrounding batteries (Can I put these (non-recharable) batteries into this charger? No? Do you sell one that does? What's the difference between a C and D cell battery? (The Size) No, really, whats the difference. Why aren't these recharble batteries charged when you sell them? You mean my cordless phone/remote control car/TV remote/Whatever needs BATTERIES??etc.) Plastic wrapping still on the batteries is a new one for me -PoglaTheGrate
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19.
User wants a Bling mouse, Self LART
Last week, I got a request for me to come and install users new mouse, baring in mind I buy all the mice and good quality laser mice at that I flat out refused. Turns out she wanted to install her sparkly gem studded mouse, the bargain basement 2.99 magpie candy. She set it up herself, so I took her old mouse and installed it on another computer. teehee, this week "This mouse is crap it doesn't work properly can I have my old one back" I'm sorry we are out of mice, your old one got installed on another machine and we have no available account credit for more stock until next month. MUHAHAHAHA[By: r3tude / 2010-08-05]
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*I WANT AN OLD MOUSE!* -Lentron
Lentron wins. -Tekkie
My coworker today took a call from one of our locations asking for SIX mice -- they've all gotten dirty, and they don't want to know how to clean them. (Ball mice.) The manager called back 10 minutes later looking for a "better" answer. She was told "unless all 6 are actually broken, you won't get any.) -Captain Trips
It sounds like Captain T's people have just been given permission to break their mice. -concept14
Just needs this http://www.jaycar.com.au/productView.asp?ID=GH1899&SPECIAL=SPEC&form=SPECIAL , this http://www.jaycar.com.au/productView.asp?ID=GH1898&SPECIAL=SPEC&form=SPECIAL & this http://www.jaycar.com.au/productView.asp?ID=GH1892&SPECIAL=SPEC&form=SPECIAL to complete the set. -AussieFoot
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20.
Callcentre ranting goodness
Wow...just wow I thought that India was bad... I need to rant a little after this one.
This was an easy phone call, should have taken half an hour max. We have a 48 port Linksys switch that needed to have an Advanced Replacement Authority (The switch keeps dropping everyone for anywhere between 30 mins to an hour at a time very regularly.) I call Cisco, get some American girl that apparently thinks my name is Michelle...despite spelling a similar male name PHOENETICALLY twice. After spending 10 minutes just attempoting to spell my name (last name is Dutch, they are known for their use of un-necessary vowels)
After she realises that im trying to get a Replacement Authority (20 minutes in) I get transferred, and this is where things get interesting. The next operator is also american, and he has no idea what a Replacement Authority is, queue 15 mins on hold for him to "ask a supervisor". When back, he says he needs to start trouble shooting, I lay out what we have already done (swapped cables around, swapped ports, replaced cables, run the internal diagnostic software that ended up in the switch going all orange and completely f*cking itself, hence the need for replacement ASAP)
So far 50 minutes into a call that should have been resolved by now, repeating myself quite a few times because apparently I speak a foreign language (Australian) or something (I'm also a Radio Operator, so I speak clearly and concisely, the Indians don't have a problem understanding me, neither do others thousands of KM away over a crappy HF link) Now he asks for the model number etc so we can verify everything, it's the home stretch right? No..no it isn't.
Here comes a question that is so left field and irrelivant that it kinda stuns me "What is your clients ISP?" Seriously... it's a switch, the ISP has nothing to do with this at all, it is the internal network dropping. I tell him this, we spend 20 minutes of me attempting to educate him on the fact that this switch and the ISP have nothing to do with each other... Finally I am saved from the stupidity, my mentor sees the pain etched on my face, the somewhat pissed off tone and asks me why I'm still on the call, I explain the ISP situation and the fact that numb nuts on the other side of the phone will not go any further till we give him an ISP name. This and he still does not seem to understand wtf a Replacement Authority is.
Finally I can pass this off to a senior engineer, and go bang my head against a wall to try and shake the stupid out! I hear for the next 10 minutes the ISP issue continuing until he finally relents, admits he has no fudging idea, and we get transferred to someone in Belgium, where the matter is resolved in 30 minutes no worries. Sorry for the long post but it just frustrated me no end today. 2 hours spent in total for something that should have taken 30 minutes tops.[By: Lentron / 2010-08-05]
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Oh, I forgot to mention that we also spent 15 minutes where he could not comprehend that I had no case number, this was a NEW case, I WANT a case number this way we can resolve the issue. Is it really that hard to figure that out? -Lentron
Das Amerikaners are closing ranks and pulling their precious jobs home; where, somehow, they are paying less than they were outside. And, of course, seeming patriotic. The depts sent home from the frozen north were being payed about half what they are here. -LDFeral
don't get me started on call centers and pay... the pay at the time was OKay provided enough overtime was available. I miss overtime.. my bank account misses it too... -Harm
Ouch. linksys, I avoid calling them if at all possible. -AdmiralLaurie
Script Monkeys to the left of me...Shitwhistles to the right...and in the middle, I'm on the phone with the Light That Failed. -vacuumtubes
I want to break OTIS off in his eyesocket. -Seamus
Been there done that. Just plainly ask for a replacement or RMA. RMA is often the term used.
Oh by the supervisors are not that much of a help.
If you call these types of centers. State the nature of the emergency in a chronological manner. So that you can bypass the troubleshooting crap.
-kennz
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