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Tech Stories Archives - October 2011
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1.
Prioritising
Now, I've never worked Tech Support for an ISP, so maybe one you guys who has can explain this to me: My home internet connection died yesterday morning, so I phoned the support line to find out what was going on. After 20 minutes on hold, the tech put me through a number of checks, unplugging modems, routers, rebooting, bypassing the wireless, etc, etc - all without any conclusions, we spent about 45 minutes doing this. Eventually she said she'd call me back after checking with other techs. 10 minutes later, she was back - apparently there was an area fault, and I'd be without internet until the evening. Now, here's the question: shouldn't area fault be among the first things you'd check for, rather than the last? Even better, If they'd put a message listing areas with faults instead of the godawful hold music, I could have been spared the whole experience. [By: Shaede / 2011-10-03]
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Should be the first thing one checks if there are known outages, and the third thing one checks after confirming the computer and modem are functional. Sorry you got someone who didn't check the NOC's page first. The flipside of that is there are techs that will say "oh, there's an outage in your area" without confirming that you are affected. -Mushroom
It may be due to managements perception of liability.
Long go, I worked for a (UK) software company. People would phone up with a problem, we would tell them straight off if we knew of a bug. Then they bought a US company and imported some of their management practices. Basically, we were forbidden from even mentioning the word "bug". We were told to look for all possible causes - even when we "thought" we knew what the problem was. Our business customers soon caught on and we just started calling them "undocumented features" instead. I left when they started thinking about de-skilling the support staff by making call scripts. I sympathise with the unfortunates prevented from doing their best job by lawyers and management who seem to take some sort of pride in their lack if IT knowledge. -Holdfast
Few years ago I worked for Convergys, who was contracted by Comcrap to do phone support for their internet product. 9 times out of 10 we weren't notified of an outage affecting a user's area until we got through all the troubleshooting and were attempting to schedule a technician. Also @Mushroom- it was procedure there (to reduce call time; and yes those of us with morals/ethics HATED this) was to refuse to troubleshoot ANYTHING if a customer was in an outage area. That policy royally sucked. -Aelin236
depends if there IS a known outage . yours could have been the first call - must like alien - i did CVG as a Time Warner support contract. while we could SEE the modem , it may have has SOME connectivity ( ie to the tool) but not passing data due one reason or another. Lights are on but no one is home. Signal to noise ration on the ( i don't think node is the right word) call it head end may be OKay - but aline card may be going down. usually to OPEN an outage we need X% of connections offline. say 3 connections out of 300 offline? meh - 10 models off - might be a trunk down. 300 models offline - line card is doing something strange and outage is opened. It can take some time to narrow it down to a line or a specific line card - and can take even MORE time ( specially on a weekend) to alert NOC to the problem and disptach the right kind of tech. Een worse would have been say al hardware is fine - but say the provisioning system when TU - and signals are gerat but everyones modem in a specific area just got administrativly disabled. -Harm
A few weeks ago, I had one who, after confirming an area-wide outage of both cable TV and Internet, still had me power cycle the modem and router. I tried explaining to her that, if there is indeed a known outage, that wouldn't do me a bit of good! - Captain Trips
I did Cable 1 a number of years back, and we had a killer map application (like google)that showed each modem location & status. You could pull up a 1 mile resolution and see 100 customers off-line. -AngrySup
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2.
furshlugginer telephonics
This morning at 7am I was awaken by the sound of a low-battery beep from a cell phone. Having not charged mine in awhile I grabbed the car charger (lacking a wallwart) and the phone, and set it all up in my car. But the phone didn't light up. Nothing was making it react. Grabbed my other battery, same deal, no life. Well, so much for that $100 Chinese knockoff of a Blackberry 5500 from eBay. I pulled the SIM and TF out of the phone and retrieved my old Motorola, inserted, and plugged in the power... and I have a black screen with white writing telling me that it's ready to be programmed. Now, I've been through that before and know that when it does that, it's the exception that it works, not a fluke that it gave me this message. And it was working JUST FINE when I took the cards out of it last year, having flashed it a year earlier due to this very issue. (Protip: When tech support says "just take it to your local store, they'll flash it" they're misinformed. Most stores don't have Cellbrites, but they do have salesdrones ready to sell you a new phone.) So having been through this before, I pulled the firmware image and flasher off the external hard drive and got the phone back into working order within ten minutes. Of course now I had to break out other tools and spend a bunch of time tweaking the phone to add ringtones and pictures to the phone memory (since this model doesn't read ringtones off the TF, a ploy designed to make people *pay* for ringtones), then assign them, but all is well now. The beep however did not go away, because it wasn't /my/ phone that was low on battery... :-P[By: Mushroom / 2011-10-03]
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You have discovered the "MultiOops!" -Grue
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3.
Inventive != Smart
Two weeks ago, I was called to a site for a "can't print" issue. Problem ended up being the ethernet jack in the wall was worn out and needed to be replaced. I said I could do it, but that I didn't have the tools and would have to return another day. Other than the network connection, the computer itself was in perfect working order.
Fast forward a week, I return with needed tools and repair the ethernet jack. I go to check the connection, when I see that the PC monitor is covered in no less than ten sticky notes-- not just on the frame, but directly on the LCD panel. When I looked up, the user just shrugs and says "Well, since it wasn't working, we just been usin' it as a messageboard."
For the record, this is the same location that plugs speakers into desk wheels, as well as the dreaded deconstructionsits: http://www.techcomedy.com/single/single.php?content_number=82526. [By: linkv / 2011-10-03]
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good thing there wasn't any chalk around -stiffarm
Or markers. -Trillian
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4.
New toy
I got a new toy today. They had a special at the PX on a 16-megapixel Fujifilm camera that had a telephoto zoom lens and several other features that my current camera sorely lacked, like recording 1080p HD movies. Plus the LCD screen on my old camera was shot to hell, so there was no way for me to preview pictures or change any settings, since aside from picture size and type, all other settings reverted to default as soon as I turned the camera off. Since I was in a rather celebratory mood on account of moving into a new place, and had more than enough on my payroll deduction to cover it, I jumped on it. I got a 16GB card on top of it. After doing some digging, I discovered the camera can take at least a 64GB card, and there's some specials on Newegg. Kinda sucks that the PX didn't have anything bigger than a 16GB though, but hey, at least I can now use the card reader in my laptop.
Now if my old landlord can hurry up and give me my security deposit back so I can go to Disney World to put the new camera through its paces.[By: skippytpodar
/ 2011-10-03 ]
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Thought you might enjoy this. Finally found a profile for Mr. 33 years: http://www.infoworld.com/d/adventures-in-it/it-personality-types-8-profiles-in-geekdom-313?page=0,8&source=rs -ravensentinel
"Sir! Your empire has fallen, your sons are captured, and you're wanted for crimes against humanity! What are you planning to do next?" "I'm going to Disney World!"
-VoiceOfSanity
I'm not sure how accurate that is using only 8 questions --Although you can come off as The Angry Support Drone or The Scary Sysadmin, you are undoubtedly The Über Geek to the core. -DedSysOp
Heh i got the split personality the scary sys admin and the promiser. -deedadee
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5.
I think I figured it out
Our ticketing system is notoriously slow. I think I found out why.
autism2prdmt04
I really don't think your server should include autism in its name
[By: DarkRookie
/ 2011-10-05 ]
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It would be worse if the server had adhd, it would work faster, sure but it would probably get distracted halfway through the process. Or if it was visually impaired that did not see computers more than a few hops away :) -Fortytwo
autistics are sometimes hired for puter work because they can stay on task so well and ignore the stupid human stuff that leads to shoddy and slow performance. just sayin' -stiffarm
if the server was autistic - it would probably be the most stable whatever server and would keep on task without being distracted by whatever. a lot of autistic people are uber task oriented and process oriented. a-b-c-d. many a company employs autistic people as code debuggers. -Harm
if the server were ADD it would work quikly for a period of time, get distracted and wander away.. possibly comming back on task when it remembers. it may also self medicate with - eines ( caffien , nicotien) how many PPl with ADD does it take to screw ni a light bulb? only one you see and i find that joke in bad .. HEy LOOK! a Puppy! -Harm
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6.
Way to tell your Sysadmin hate you #6890
You ask for your password to be reset, and so it, to the entire text of the SAN disk logs for the months of August and September[By: virusjtg / 2011-10-05]
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7.
Way to tell your SysAdmin hate you 6981
You come in because your phone is not syncing to exchange. The SysAdmin sees that your phones storage is full and the first thing he does is delete your music.[By: virusjtg / 2011-10-05]
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least it wasnt the pron or the sexting messages [DarkRookie dives to LART Shelter] -DarkRookie
no, that got siphoned off for later use..... -virusjtg
HA HA!</Nelson Muntz> -PTSTech
If it is a company phone, I would have no sympathy...personal files are ALWAYS the first to be sacrificed. -Griffin2020
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8.
RIP, Steve
This must have just happened in the last hour or two.
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/steve-jobs-apple-ceo-dies/story?id=1438381
Vaya Con Dios, Mr. J. [By: MadJack / 2011-10-05]
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::moment of silence:: -skippytpodar
ummmm.. maybe i'm a litle skeptical but there have been many a death hoax recently. -Harm
mmultiplr sources confirmed.. huh. -Harm
I seriously thought it was April Fool's Day for a moment... anyway. RIP, Steve Jobs. -Seamyst
Who is next? Gates or Torvald? -DarkRookie
No hoax, Harm. We had memory messages up on the huge displays at $fruitycomputercompany all day. It is a sad day for all tech types, he was a legend -Grembo
Desperately sad that he had so little time to himself after stepping down in August. One of the true pioneers gone. -Gromit
And who will feed the lawyers? -Wraith556
say what you want about Apple, but Jobs was a brilliant man. -Harm
actually cried inconsolably for a few minutes, may start again. -Madrigorne
He will be missed. But, to quote Dr. Bob: "One imagines him leaving his body to science, but with an EULA that specifies that not more than one person can examine it." -chazz
I have a great deal of respect for Bill, Steve, and Linus... all for very different reasons. Losing one of those three has really been a downer for me. Steve made computers an art form, and raised the bar on what was expected of them. I didn't always agree with him, but I had to admire how he was never content with mediocrity. He made things interesting, and will be missed. -linkv
So far this week we've got Steve Jobs and Charles Napier. Who's our third? -AmazingKreskin
I really and truly fear for the future of Apple. I know Timmy has been "in charge" for a while now behind the scenes, but he always had SJ to lean on and get advice from. Who is going to drive innovation.... I hear that Woz is available...
-Griffin2020
Likely comment by Bill OH NO who will I ste... I mean borrow my ideas from now. -deedadee
i Think Woz is perfectly happy doing what he's doing and staying out of apple.. ( i know he has a guest appearance on Big Bang theory.. and i THINk he may have been on dancing with the stars.) -Harm
Harm: Yes, and yes. He wasn't that good a dancer, but he obviously had a blast doing it. And when you're The Woz, and rich as he is, that's all that matters, innit? Especially when you're having that blast at no cost to others, unlike some rich folks ... -ralphp1024
Late comment, but I am pleased to note the general lack of snarky anti-Apple sentiment floating around the toobz. There's a little, sure, trollerz gotta troll, but it's almost like...people are being respectful! On the INTERNET!!! Amazing. -Lusus
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9.
I hate banks
After switching banks over the summer, and thinking all would be good with my new long lender/stealer, I went on a week vacation to Phoenix. I came back with a few checks to cover the car rental that was split between myself and 2 other people, and found out my new bank was going to charge me $5 per check just to deposit them! What's with the banks? fees to deposit, fees to have an account, fees to use the ATMs. It's like the banks don't want our money! Took an hour to go through the paperwork to open a US account, so I wouldn't have to pay the insain fees.[By: garwain / 2011-10-06]
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When you add up the numbers of employers who insist on direct deposit-I expect to see a fee any day for "Recieving Funds from company XYZ" and then a fee for checking your balances online- followed by a fee for just thinking about them!! -jerrybear
Banks suck and I'm seeing more and more people switching to credit unions. As for the fees, I've seen posts from people "on the inside" that state fees are basically the profit for the bank. With the interest on loans covering their operating costs, the fees go straight to the bottom line. More fees = more profit. -virtualchoirboy
Count me among the credit union converts. I was stunned at the difference when I switched last year. Not only are they not plooking me on fees up the wazoo, they actually refund up to 10 foreign ATM fees in a month, AND they pay me a dividend on my checking account! Sure, it's usually only about a dollar in my case, but it's money in for having the account, not being taken out for the "privilege" of doing business with them. The CEO of BofA said that "we have a right to make a profit." I strongly disagree. You have a right to TRY to make a profit, just like I have a right to pursue happiness. It's not a guarantee that it will be achieved. With an attitude like that, I feel they should fail. -SalParadise
Add me to the credit union fans. Mine refunds ATM fees, has good interest rates for credit cards and loans, and I just got a no-fee rewards card through them too. A small local financial institution will almost always have better terms and better, more responsive service. -NightSteel
Credit unions and independent regional banks. None of my banks charge fees for me to use MY money, and they pay me interest on my checking, and refund ATM fees charged by others. -Griffin2020
Warning: some credit unions have become "too big for their britches." I know of one here in Sandy Eggo that acts like a bank. (And I had been with them for over 20 years before I switched to a smaller one.) PM me and I'll tell you their name. -Captain Trips
Think yourself lucky you don't have to deposit a coin to use the ATM and an entry fee at the door to the bank. Ooops! I've probably given them ideas! :-( -Wraith556
Are you kidding? On Ferenginar it costs you 3 slips of latinum just to enquire about opening accounts with a bank! -TaliPhoenix
Oh, the banks *do* want your money, all right. They just don't want to have to give it back later. -Chromatix
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10.
RIP ANIKF2
all communications were lost to the satellite today. It's been over 4 hours and so far the only thing Telesat is saying is that it's working on it. No ETA on a resolve, just call us back in 4 hours. Meanwhile since we provide internet using that bird to one heck of a lot of clients (and many remote locations where the satellite is their only means to communicate with the outside world) call volume is insane. Thankfully I don't normally speak with customers directly and the installers and dealers that do call are for the most part having a good sense of humour over the outage. I just get a bad feeling that communication is lost for good, because in previous outages Telesat has always known what caused the outage within a couple hours and had an ETA and a description of how they were gonna fix it. (oh and this bird also does tv, ATM'S, radio, phones, etc... are you being hit by this as well?)[By: frprinterwiz / 2011-10-06]
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"We lost the bird sir!" LT: "Why were you keeping one?" -ravensentinel
hmm Telesat has no clue? thats no good.. even with all the new dishes they installed in the last coulpe years? the very LEast they could have done is flip through the BOFH excuse book and find Solar Flair activity -Harm
Solar Flair? is it faaaaaaaaabulous? -metaball
According to OBJ: "The good news in all of this it's not a lost satellite; (Telesat) tells us they were communicating with it," said Emily Younker, a spokesperson for Northwestel, the sole provider for Internet and data and the main provider for phone services.
"They did not give a cause or an (estimate) of repair time," she added, but said Telesat has been in regular contact with Northwestel to provide updates. -Griffin2020
Maybe that satellite was really Steve Jobs...
-Griffin2020
it's facing away from the earth, this is a safety feature built in to protect it from increased solar activity and at 6am EST this morning there was a major coronal event causing massive Northern Lights. 12-18 hours to get the satellite turned around. -frprinterwiz
just finally getting explanations about what is causing the outage -frprinterwiz
Called it. -Harm
and apparently now on /. http://slashdot.org/story/11/10/06/1533200/Satellite-Glitch-Leaves-Northern-Canada-In-the-Internet-Dark guessing one of us put that up? -Harm
@metaball: it's doing the twirl right now...... <hides in the LART shelter to avoid falling debris> -Enzedder
Somebody needs to LART the sat... or maybe SART the sat -Spyder19
We had an outage about this one since we rely on it for tv in some remote areas in Ontario. First outage I've ever seen that relates to a satellite issue! -desseb
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12.
Boss LART
As some might recall, $boss implemented a rule that if we contact a person at least three times within a 5-day period, and they fail to respond after the 5th day, we have every right to close out the ticket for the customer's failure to respond.
Yesterday, I had two such tickets to close, and had noted in both tickets when and by what method I tried to contact the people. This morning, one of the people rather angrily came up and insisted on chewing me, my boss, or whoever would listen, a new arsehole. Being that my boss' door is open whenever he's in, he overheard this, and came right out to see what the hell was going on. $starfish was pissed that I closed the ticket, that I didn't do the work, and now she can't use anything in their new office because she ended up moving the equipment herself yesterday. My boss pulled up the ticket, and saw in my ticket notes that I not only e-mailed her twice, I also left her a voicemail on her landline & cell phone, and also went to her former office on Friday and knocked on the door with no response.
Her response to all that? "What, I actually have to respond to you guys? I'm the customer here, and whatever I say, goes! Plus, I was in and out of the office all day Friday. What am I supposed to do, wait there?" It went on & on, but my boss told her, that I made every good faith effort to contact her, and it was on her to make sure she contacted me back. As she was leaving, she huffed & puffed about going to her supervisor, to which my boss responded that he'd be pleased to meet them and would be more than happy to tell them that she moved IT equipment without our written authorization or permission.[By: skippytpodar
/ 2011-10-12 ]
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I think somewhere in there an "oops!" is probably going to be inserted... as in $starfish having just made a few tactical mistakes. The first was, of course, ranting at you with earshot of $boss, and then her ranting at $boss. -VoiceOfSanity
The LARTs that starfish apply to themselves are the best. -ralphp1024
A boss that has your back? A boss that doesn't cave to an irate luser's rantings and ravings? A boss that has a spine? Surely you jest -PoglaTheGrate
Pogla: I never jest. And don't call me "Shirley". (well, someone hadda say it) -Grayhawk
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13.
Situational Awareness, lack of, 1 ea
If you are a contractor brought in to work a short-term project on a client site, it is usually considered bad form to: 1) try to assert authority where none exists, 2) complain about co-workers supposed lack of knowledge via email to CLIENT management complete w/escalations when you get no response, 3) publicly contradict the ACTUAL supervisor regarding policy, 4) verbally harass coworkers and client staff alike, 5) refuse to get the point when your agency liaison warns you to cut the crap, and 5) act surprised when you get shown the door and handed a ticket back to where you came from. NOTE: This wasn't mine but from a friend and I had to share.[By: PTSTech / 2011-10-12]
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Sounds like there's a reason that person is only doing short term contract work... -Starfury
Regarding part 5, maybe he was genuinely surprised they sprung for a ticket. -Calydor
http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=27222 for the same thing happening to our CommanderData (if I mangled the URL correctly...) -chazz
With a number of contractors I have worked with I have come to the conclusion that I'm in the wrong line of work. All I have to do is pad my resume and get some good sounding credentials and I could be a better contractor than some of these wastes of carbon. Saying that, however, we just had some contractors finish that I learned a bucket load from, worked really hard and produced some excellent results... -PoglaTheGrate
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14.
Lazy...or stupid
I'm doing my e-mail shift and get a request in to zip some files for a user. Four of them. So I call the person and let her know that she can easily create a zip file and go over the process. She says she's too busy and would like me to take care of it. I hang up and 30 seconds later have the zip file done and e-mail it to her. I figure it took her more time to create a new message, attach the files, type up the message, and send it to me than it would've took her to just zip them herself. THIS is the kind of corporate culture I deal with on a daily basis. [By: Starfury / 2011-10-12]
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And that is why I believe the geeks/nerds of the world need to rethink their positions within the current world order... -unrenowned
What you do is write a nice wordy e-mail...and at the end of it tell them that it took longer for them to read the e-mail than it would have to just create the zip file themself. -Grue
But, this way, the EU can still be proud that they do not understand IT. -Holdfast
Law firm SOP for sure. -redevil34
What educational institution do you work at again? (only half serious...ok, seriously) -Olorin
Olorin- just about any. Seriously. I took a technical writing course with an instructor (Dr, no less) and he couldn't figure out how to open a zipped file. The class was online. I dropped the class soon after. -justcrazy
IANAL, but, in doing this, you may become part of the 'chain of custody'. You could have altered the data while zipping it. <queue lights and show music> And Smile, Smile, Smile... -AngrySup
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15.
one more cartoon
http://www.evil-comic.com/archive/20111011.html
don't you wish you could get away with this? (ps: the guy in the costume is the CEO!)[By: Erictheblue / 2011-10-12]
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*lol* reminds me of this one http://xkcd.com/898/ (SFW) :) -Fortytwo
Hey, if Herb Kelleher can be seen on one of his flights in a gorilla outfit...
-VoiceOfSanity
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16.
The inventor of C program language died
http://techcrunch.com/2011/10/13/father-of-c-and-unix-dennis-ritchie-passes-away-at-age-70/ Dennis Ritchie, the father of the C programming language and contributor to Unix, has passed away at the age of 70. Finally a tech great to straighten out all of the others in Heaven.[By: ecoli / 2011-10-13]
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::moment of silence:: -skippytpodar
Prosecutus deus optimus sir -Phylok
} -smellystudent
So this means 'goodby world' :-( -European
Now can we get rid of C? -Loren
His body threw up a runtime error. -flapjackboy
end of line -Stryker One
As Computerworld pointed out, he was like Tesla. Not really appreciated or recognized while others got rich and famous. http://blogs.computerworld.com/19097/dennis_ritchie_and_steve_jobs_quite_the_juxtaposition -MisterCommon
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17.
Pass the brain bleach..
So, I was reading this post from a couple of days ago ( http://www.techcomedy.com/single/single.php?content_number=86517 ) and it made think something that would probably horrify them more. Dress as Madonna with the cones, but when she's 60+ and the cones are attached realistically...[By: spectreoflife / 2011-10-16]
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Something similiar to what the Professor is wearing in this Futurama episode 'Neutopia' (kinda NSFW or NSFL) http://i.imgur.com/wkK21.png
(runs like heck to the lart shelter)
p.s. there is an animated version is this thread at the site reddit.com http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/jphe0/by_far_the_most_disturbing_pic_ive_ever_seen_in/ -MarloVino
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18.
Funny story from a frien on facebook
JOE coincidentally, AT&T telemktg just offered me 1.5 Mbps / 384K for $30/mo. Really aggressive agent tried to impress me with the "blazing speed" (esp relative to dial-up) and a bunch of buzz words in the script. I asked if their lines were really clean - because my computer guy had told me that my internet service was giving me trouble with "Window Scaling," so if I ever changed I needed to make sure the new service would give me a new "data buffer" so it could polish my "data packets" so they would go through the line faster. The rep didn't know about that, but promised me it would be really fast.[By: deedadee / 2011-10-16]
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I had all my internet tubes setup to discard all 1's to keep them from blocking up the line. -ravensentinel
What's a frien? -Griffin2020
raven: should've discarded the 0's. You can compress the 1's more. Fit more of them thru a tube. -DarkRookie
Next thing you know they'll be asking for a bucket of prop wash, or a hundred feet of aircraft line. -McSmiley
...shoreline, skyline, what's my line... -sarge
McSmiley, be careful with the Prop Wash. They do actually sell stuff like that... an example? Here: http://www.aircraftsupply.com/XW-9M.html -VoiceOfSanity
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19.
Really? (NT/OT)
It's a sad Monday when its almost 4 PM EST and TSC still doesn't have a submission. so i did this.[By: Harm / 2011-10-17]
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They said I could be anything I wanted. So I became a placeholder post. -AmazingKreskin
It's Monday. What else needs to be said?
-VoiceOfSanity
Maybe it's actually a happy day. No users annoying us today. -MisterCommon
Too many users too annoying. No time to breathe, let alone think. :( -reveriel
I'm still working on catching up on work and on the posts from last week. Hospital didn't have interweb. I was scared. -ravensentinel
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20.
Peggy from HP
Customer complains that his home printer is not working correctly (not printing from IE but will from anything else). I tell customer I do not support home devices as I cannot see the error or problem for myself. I recommend the user call support for the device. The next day, said customer complains saying he called HP and he got "Peggy". Confused, I ask him was Peggy able to help him. Come to find out, he was unable to understand the guy and was referencing the commercial with Peggy from Prime Credit! Apparently his wife was able to understand Peggy better and it was fixed my installing Mozilla. I got a good laugh from this.[By: ravensentinel / 2011-10-18]
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Sounds like someone needs to take retraining course. -Stryker One
<da>Maybe the default printer in IE was set wrong.</da> -Omega
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