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Tech Stories Archives - November 2011
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1.
Seuss tech support?
i read a book with "lost works" of Dr. Seuss, and this line seemed so appropriate: "it was a lot of hard work, boy, but this time it's free. if it happens again i will charge a large fee."[By: Erictheblue / 2011-11-01]
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2.
Productive Day [OT]
We have been maxed out at 32 calls holding the whole day.
Our part dispatcher is not working.
I locked myself out of two tools cuz I am an idiot.
I am sick and really, really don't want or should be here.
But I managed to get 25% of my x-mas shopping done today.
:D
[By:  DarkRookie
/ 2011-11-01 ]
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3.
I think I've been watching BSG too much
Saw this headline on BBC - Fracking 'likely cause' of quakes - and my mind instantly thought the worse. Unfortunately, the real reason is far more mundane: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-15550458[By: TechKittenNotts / 2011-11-02]
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Felgercarb! -WinterWolf
yea... when i first heard the usuage of the word, i to immidiatly thought " what does swearing have to do with earthquakes?" -Harm
So, the problem is too much fracking fracking? Oh, frell! -Captain Trips
*sigh* It's Frak, not frack... fracking is what you do to extract oil and gas. Frak is... well, what you'd like to do with Starbuck in the re-imaged version of BSG.
-VoiceOfSanity
maybe thats why overly fat people shouldnt be alowed to frack? -inuyasharules
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4.
Meet Otis' insane brother, Louis
http://io9.com/5854939/behold-the-louisville-decapitron-a-baseball-batbattle-axe-made-for-zombie-smashing
Wicked scary. Luckily, it's just a "soft steel" prototype...for now.[By: docbrown01 / 2011-11-02]
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Kewl - but too unwieldy. Shorten the blade to give yourself some room to grip and put a pointy spike on the end. -ecoli
Nah, the big problem is that there's no tang (metal on the inside). That big, flat, blade on the side will fold against the bat with the first off-center strike. Put a lawn edger (half circle/crescent) on the end, though, and he might have a winner. -LDFeral
Nobody noticed it was made by someone named Gord? -concept14
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5.
OT/NT
Ya know? I was just thinking....[By: sarge / 2011-11-03]
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Everyone! This is NOT a Drill! Please proceed, single file, to the Lart Shelter in a calm and orderly manner... -ChildofCthulhu
OMFG! RUN!!! WERE DOOOMED!! hey a squirel... cute cute little squirell - your a rat with better PR and a fluuufy tail! wait.. what was happening? -Harm
Why's the rum gone?! -unrenowned
<Glug! Glug ! Glug! BELCH!!!> What rum? <Hides Bottle> -ChildofCthulhu
There is no cake (or spoon) -srteach
Don't do that - it creates hostility within the ranks of HR/Marketing...you know, the ones INCAPABLE of making an informed judgement. -lineswine
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6.
one more cartoon
http://kevinandkell.com/1998/kk0512.html ever felt like that was true?[By: Erictheblue / 2011-11-03]
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I've felt like that since BEFORE Holbrook inked (penciled?) that one. -ralphp1024
I used to keep a small rubber chicken in my briefcase to pull out at moments like this, usually over some bizarre SCSI termination issue. (Yeah, this was a long time ago.) I cracked a couple of clients up with it. -SalParadise
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7.
What building?!
Yeah I show up to work this morning and I get the following call from our CFO.
"Hi! I need a quote for equipment in the new building." ".... huh?! What new building?!" "The new site we're opening. I need a detailed and itemized quote by today."
Yep. She asked me to design and quote an entire new site of over 50 systems in a single day. And I'm literally in the middle of rolling out a DIFFERENT new site with an entirely new setup, softwares and database...[By: LazyLemming / 2011-11-03]
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Almost as fun as being called in to a meeting to explain why there's no quotes or plan in place for a system you were never aware even aware of several days after the apparent deadline -ThinkGuy
Dear CFO...which bit of "NO!" don't you get? It'll get done as/when I've finished the current project - which I'm in the middle of doing.
Now, be a good girl & sod off back to a meeting for the rest of the week, m'kay? -lineswine
Unfortunately, lineswine, if you respond in that manner, you WILL be replaced. It does not matter how good you are at your job, not giving the bosses what they want (to the best of your ability, and with the interests of the company taken into account) results in recovery. -Griffin2020
See... my immediate response would be "Well, since you've given me such a short lead time on the request, I have to warn you that the quote will need to be significantly higher than if I'd had proper time to prepare and research cost saving opportunities. Anyway... I'll see what I can throw together for you. I'll try to keep it under $5MM" -virtualchoirboy
You can get it done fast, right or cheap, pick two. You might only get one. ( Of course the one they usually say to disregard is right.) -McSmiley
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8.
DO A BARREL ROLL
open in FF, Chrome, or any HTML5 browser
http://tinyurl.com/3kuewxs
hehehehehe
[By: DarkRookie
/ 2011-11-04 ]
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i found that last night! oh and the codes for barrel in starfox work to! -Harm
http://www.google.ca/#hl=en&sugexp=kjrmc&cp=12&gs_id=6&xhr=t&q=Z+or+R+twice&pf=p&sclient=psy-ab&safe=off&site=&source=hp&pbx=1&oq=Z+or+R+twice&aq=0z&aqi=g-z1g-m2&aql=f&gs_sm=&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.,cf.osb&fp=860acd7772d317a2&biw=1256&bih=595 -Harm
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9.
Karma Return
I am returning all unused Karma to the pool.
As of 11-14-2011, I will be starting a new job with a NICE bump in pay. Thank you to all, that TSC Karma™ is some powerful shit! [By: Stryker One
/ 2011-11-04 ]
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Goooood on you! Scrape lots of fingernails to the quick, hanging on?? -jerrybear
Congrats! -Grue
CON AAaaAaaCHew GRatz -deedadee
Kongrats! -ecoli
Congrats! -Diptera
Congrats and well done! -ManyHats
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11.
Continuing from yesterday....
Another FSE from California took a hardware repair ticket for our Texas location today. She tried then to get the user to FEDEX his workstation to her, in California, to have it repaired.
We have techs on-site at the Texas location who exist to handle this type of situation.[By: metaball / 2011-11-08]
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wow - FEDEX A WORKSTATION?! wow.. whats Cali smoking and why arn't they sharing? -Harm
The only thing most of us can afford to smoke comes from the south end of a north bound horse. -CyBear
@ Harm: The local Indica is now harvested, trimmed, and weighed; the Sativa is currently drying. If the CA tech was at a trimming party, she probably was given a half-ounce 'bonus' and can't even remember her own phone number. -MeanDean
I wish this was a joke, but... at the site I used to work at, we had remote folks working in New Mexico. Now, when their computers failed, you'd think that you'd send it to the nearest company site that can do tech support... nope, not even close. Those sites will not provide any assistance whatsoever, so we had to have the systems sent to us for repair. (It's why we had spares on site.) Now, systems that were deployed "in the sandbox" overseas... the military would have those to me with 24 hours, and I'd have it back overseas within 72 hours.
-VoiceOfSanity
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14.
Hail to the Veterans
Happy Veterans Day to all my brothers and sisters in current service, and to all who have served in the past. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veteran%27s_day[By: TechnoVampire / 2011-11-11]
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This is an awesome fact: "The holiday is often celebrated by having a ravioli meal." I am picking up a can of chef Boyardee tonight. Thanks for all the service you all have provided. -DarkRookie
7 years, 11 months and 10 days,including 2+ years in schools, 2 years underwater. It would have been 8 years but I got out 3 weeks early for good behavior. -atomicbill
MadJack started a thread in the break room for Veteran's day in 2004. http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?t=1361 -MSimmons777
Thx, MS777, I'd forgotten about that one, it's been so long. A salute to all my brothers & sisters in arms today! -MadJack
I thank them all for their service. I would say it's their service that enables me to live the lifestyle I choose (and when they do so, I *really* thank them.) Unfortunately, I can't see much of what they've been asked to do as supporting my lifestyle - we don't get that much oil from Iraq. So, although **I am very grateful for their service**, I am not so much in favor of the service they've been asked to perform recently. -Captain Trips
Thank you, to each and every vet who has served your country. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. $deity bless and keep you. -AdmiralLaurie
I did my 4 years in the Air Force, biggest thing that happened was bombing the crap out of Libya. I don't feel like a hero, I will divert the attention to those that have served in combat. The potential was there for me, didn't happen. They put their life on the line in actual combat. SALUTES
-Grembo
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15.
Somebody screwed up....
...and it was me. I've been given new duties which include processing the terminated user accounts. This is a fairly complex process and I accidentally deleted the wrong user account yesterday...apparently to me a 1 looked like a 7 so one of the payroll people can't work. It's being fixed...but I'm sure I'll get chewed out a bit for it but I'm still learning the process. [By: Starfury / 2011-11-11]
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I'd worry most about what Payroll is going to say . . . LOL -ManyHats
Good luck! -Grue
Of all the people to delete, you deleted someone from PAYROLL?!? -Stryker One
Spoke to the boss...only got a small piece of my behind chewed off. I admitted that I screwed up and told her how I'd prevent it in the future and she was ok with it. Hopefully that'll be the end of it. -Starfury
S'all right. Co-worker at the old job deleted the CEO's PA once by accident. THAT was a difficult day XD. -ApolloSZ
AD Restore ( http://www.softpedia.com/get/System/System-Miscellaneous/AdRestore.shtml ) + Force Replicate AD ( http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/cc776188(WS.10).aspx ) for the win. :P -Necros
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16.
Head Scratcher Here [OT]
Since its a slow day, why don't I ask for help here.
I need a little help answering the question found at the following link: http://tinyurl.com/dxarb2y (SFW)
Don't worry. I will delete this once I have my answer[By: DarkRookie
/ 2011-11-15 ]
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17.
The Waterproof Phone Case
So we're sending around a link at work to a waterproof iPhone case and joking about it. CW1 comments "Yeah, because *I* can't shower without my iPhone/Pad..." My reply: "I will not be accepting any FaceTime requests from you". *Yes we're both guys.[By: redevil34 / 2011-11-16]
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It's more important than you'd think. Recently released stats show that something like half of all cellphone faults are caused by being dropped in the karzi. How the f**k can so many people be so f**king stupid as to drop £400 worth of iPhone/Android/Nokia down the bog?? Words fail me... -Gromit
Gromit...given your usual level of customer intelligence, you think this is ACTUALLY difficult? -lineswine
that's messed up. True, but messed up none the less.
-Phylok
Thing is, if a $600 iPuck is included with the contract, people think it's free... and if something has no cost, it equally has no value. So people don't take care of them because they think they are valueless. -chazz
@Gromit: They're wanking in the stall. You're welcome for that mental image. -VIPERsssss
Gromit: Because of how many of them keep the phone in their back pocket and it slides out when pulling up their britches. -PolarCoyote
i've seen many a crackberry droped in urinals.. and usually its a high up on the food chain tat can't aim to begin with - let alone piss , vreath and use the crackberry... -Harm
Doctors' pagers have a almost magnetic attraction to toilets. No matter how strong the clip for the pager, at least three times a year, I get a pager back in a biohazard bag. -TechieSidhe
Well, I guess I should have figured the story would go this way... I have yet to get a toilet device, but just about any other container of water has been found by a device. -redevil34
That's what YOU think, red...
How do you know that the "other container of water" is not actually a toilet, unless you see said device in the actual process of being immersed. I would bet dollars to donuts that many of the devices are actually immersed in a toilet and the user is afraid/embarrassed to admit it. -Griffin2020
That's what YOU think, red...
How do you know that the "other container of water" is not actually a toilet, unless you see said device in the actual process of being immersed. I would bet dollars to donuts that many of the devices are actually immersed in a toilet and the user is afraid/embarrassed to admit it. -Griffin2020
Grif - I was so NOT trying to think about it that way.... On the other hand, I'm not sure what is worse since they all tried to use them after the submersion it is likely that the device was on their face before I got it. -redevil34
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18.
IM conversation
The following IM conversation took place after I had attached said's user's cell phone to exchange via active sync. The user then went to a meeting and returned some 3 hours later.
User: phone will not power on now
VirusJTG: it's battery was orange when I put it back on your desk
User: ahhh...ok will charge it then, thx
VirusJTG: welcome
[By: virusjtg / 2011-11-16]
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Breath in... breath out...Breath in... breath out...Breath in... breath out...Breath in... breath out... -Stryker One
Stryker- it won't work. You forgot to say, "Simon Says"! -Voz
Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath in, breath in, BOOM! -AussieFoot
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19.
Good news/bad news/really bad news
The good news: After pretty much falling in love with my iPad, my mom bought one and it arrived yesterday. She called me up just to tell me that she got it, and that she was waiting for me to come this weekend for Thanksgiving week before she opened it up, just so I could show her how to use it, set up the App Store account, etc.
The bad news: Ever since Monday afternoon, I started feeling under the weather, and as of last night, it got bad enough I decided to call in sick today. Tomorrow seems likely as well, since the person I likely got it from was out almost a week with it...
The really bad news: My dad is not only itching to try and get me to show him how my mom's new iPad 2 works, including asking me asinine questions that no human can conceivably try and answer without drooling first, he also called me up today (I lied and said I was at work in a meeting with my boss), because the IPTV box my dad got so he could watch his TV channels from Poland came today. He was trying to set it up, and the ethernet cable I put in the back of the credenza that goes to the wall jacks I installed didn't work. Meaning either the switch they're all connected to failed, or the cable that leads from the switch to the router fell out again on account of having no locking clip. That, and getting him to configure the wireless on it, which would take me all of 45 seconds, would be a 4 hour exercize, and if I were at work, I'd almost certainly get a reprimand letter for it, on account of our boss not letting us take non-emergency personal calls. I didn't tell him all that seeing as he'd just mangle it all up, so I told him to wait until this weekend, and I would fix it. Little does he know that past Monday, I went ahead and ordered all new Cat-6 and an extra HDMI keystone & cable set, and am giving them my 16-port gigabit switch just for this sort of thing.
My only hope is that I can get all of it done without him coming down to the basement every 5 minutes to bother me with "What's this?" ad nauseum. He is still convinced that because he was able to go wirelessly from his laptop to the printer (which was plugged into the wireless router), that somehow the printer itself MUST be wireless instead of wired.[By: skippytpodar
/ 2011-11-16 ]
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hmm - how to keep him out of the basement while your working.. i've used the " You want this done or NOT? cause its seeminglike NOT each time you interupt." but i can't see that going over well. - HOpe you Feel better soon! -Harm
Make the iPad work first. Give iPad to dad. Explain to mom why, while dad can't hear. Go fix the cables in peace. -Calydor
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20.
I'm back! Miss me like the plague?
After all this time I can admit, that I worked at Sony Online Entertainment doing phone support. I knew the end was near when I had to spend a half hour explaining to a user the difference between reality and being in a game. If I'd have known that I needed a psychology degree for that job, I wouldn't have taken it. I rarely did actual tech support. Whew, got that off my chest...[By: Biosynthetic / 2011-11-16]
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As a ps3 user myself, I'm interested in your stories :) -Blankman
I too would love to hear some more stories of this. -0gr3
I've often thought of writing all my helpdesk adventures down and publishing a book, but it would end up in the fiction section, because no one would believe them. If Darwin read them, even he would say, "Yeah, never mind, they're just friggin turtles." -Biosynthetic
Welcome back! -Grue
Which game (if any) did you support? Just curious... -docbrown01
At the time, I supported Everquest 1 and 2, Star Wars Galaxies, The Matrix Online, Pirate of the Burning Sea, Vanguard and so on. -Biosynthetic
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