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Tech Stories Archives - June 2012
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1.
Itzli - god of sacrifice & stone knives.
A few weeks ago I overheard my father having a conversation with a friend of his on the topic of a birthday present for the man's son. As it transpired he was planning on buying him a computer of some sort, being the geek I am I interjected an offer to assist with this. After a quick discussion of what the kid would need I was confident I had exactly what he needed already laying about in my stockpile. I put him a machine together out of spare parts, and a few items I had to buy in, in an old gaming case I'd gotten as salvage. In essence the machine I built was my previous rig with a RAM upgrade, it had my old motherboard, processor, PSU and graphics card in it. After setting it up, and tweaking it to suit the kids needs, I christened the machine Itzli - after the Aztec god of stone knives and sacrifice. I figure it fit quite well since it was a relatively dated machine, but with the modern graphics card could still punch above its weight. I passed the machine on, making a modest profit in the process and saved the bloke the better part of £200-£300 at the same time. Apparently the machine was rather a hit, as the man thanked me rather profusely. I've also offered to give lessons in upgrading the machine in the future, since I figure inspiring a new generation of technerds is something I can probably mange reasonably well.[By: Vie / 2012-06-03]
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I did the same thing for some friends of mine. They needed a new PC, and between me and my roommates, there were enough spare parts in my house for a whole new machine. They just need to upgrade the video card now for Diablo 3. -AmazingKreskin
Fellow techs, only do this for *really* good friends who you know will not abuse you for later tech work! Otherwise, you have a clueless ID10T who will badger you for services and weasel out of paying for them. Right Skippy? -BayouTech
I've tried to my kids as technerds, but they just look at me and say I'm there, why should they. SIGH. -harryscuz
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2.
Nu math
Just had a fishie tell me that some random construction noise is coming from above, on the 9th floor. Unless the building suddenly flipped, then the 9th floor below the 10th, not above it... ::tink::[By:  skippytpodar
/ 2012-06-04 ]
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/me hums new Math by Tom Lehrer -DarkRookie
ahh - not standard relativity. -Harm
Quick, look out the window. If you see Shelly Winters and Ernest Borgnine trying to escape out a propeller shaft room, well... -MeanDean
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3.
Ever get that feeling
Ever get that feeling, that is you continue to update the kbase enough so agents will stop asking dumbfuck questions cause they can't think, you will write yourself outta a job?[By: DarkRookie / 2012-06-04]
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All the time... As much as I dislike those who have the ivory tower mentality, sharing at least some knowledge is helpful, but not so much your brain falls out. -skippytpodar
yea, as a consultant i do - while knowldege sharing is essentiall - i want to keep getting renewed or get new contracts. working on a call center though -- you'll never run out of KB articles.. there will be questions about questions and no way to anticipate every possible phrasing compbination agents or callers can come up with ( short of a millions mokeys at type writters) I almost miss those days... almost. -Harm
That assumes they'll read it -Icelator
Anytime you make a system foolproof, nature will make a better fool. You would have to document breathing in between troubleshooting steps to write yourself out of a job. -gashach
@Ice: They hate me. I won't give them the answers. I will at most, if I feel like it, give them a tip number. -DarkRookie
No chance of that considering even after you publish the kbase tip they still have to ask. -deedadee
" see KB XXXX" " where do i find that" YYYY " okay.. what does this mean?" and theen.. and then andthenandthenandthenANDTHEN -Harm
hah! I am tempted to write some documents on how to do singular and plural agreement and the tenses. When several hundred people see what you write, it pays to be grammatically correct. (I can't say the same for my colleagues) -boxcar
In theory, yes. In practise, no one bothers to read, so no. -reveriel
Nope - cause the better the kb, the stupider the people they hire. Sort of balances itself out. -frprinterwiz
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4.
Spell check ?
Installing AOL (against my better judgement) on a customer's pc. I saw a headline on AOL that said "Jill Biden Hints At Possible 2016 White Hose Bid for Joe Biden" http://www.aol.com/ [By: Spyder19 / 2012-06-05]
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Spell check wouldn't find that - hose is spelled properly. (Should have been HOUSE, but eh.) -ralphp1024
Yup, you are absolutely correct. Remember that it also made it past an editor tho -Spyder19
I hear y'alls be looking forward to a wimmen pres-ee-dent. -LDFeral
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5.
3RD TIME IS A CHARM
Well just like many others it has been a while since I have been here and made any contribution to the site.
So I go to log in and it takes me 3 times to figure out what my password is. Sigh....... I am still alive and still in a non tech job. Needed the humor so came here to see what is new.[By: THETECHFROMHELL / 2012-06-05]
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Welcome back yet again! *hug* -Grue
*Eyes Grue suspiciously* I've heard things about you. -charred
Well, charred, just keep the lights on and no problem... *BFEG* -ManyHats
And here I thought I was the only one. :) It took me 3 tries and a peek at the member's list just to remember my moniker...and I lost count of how many tries before I remembered my password. I, too, and still alive and well, albeit a litte older...and fatter. :( -missourimule
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6.
Wake up Call (NT)
Yesterday was my son's 6th grade outing to the local amusement park. Being a good parent I left work early to chaperone the event. On the first ride I get in and try to pull the harness down. I can't close it. The attendant had to give it a push to lock it down. I know I've gained weight lately but this incident let me know it's time to seriously adjust my diet and exercise routine. I know the "I'm in shape...round is a shape" joke but I think it's time to stop being so round and reduce the waistline. Sorry fast food establishments...I won't be spending my money there any more. [By: Starfury / 2012-06-06]
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"Shape of a god... too bad it's Buddha." I surely do know that feeling. -chazz
almost. Budda is not a god, but an enlightened being. Ganesha on the other hand.... ;) -McSmiley
Practical advice... Don't "diet". Pay attention to suggested serving sizes. My wife and I realized we were eating 1.5 to 2 times the serving size. Cut it down to regular sizes (ok, with some dieting for about 3 months) and we fit our clothes now. We still watch serving sizes and get small snacks between meals. I get slightly larger snacks as I still burn calories faster than her. :) -PsychoKittyB
PsychoKittyB's advice is sound; dieting doesn't seem to work very well, but watching serving sizes and generally being aware of what you are eating does. Side notes: Diet soda will not help; there evidently is some strange metabolic effect on getting that big a hit of sweetness with no accompanying sugar rush, that results in overall weight gain. -chazz
I've cut the diet soda WAY down from what I used to drink and I'm also going to make an effort to minimize my fast food consumption. Portion control is probably one of the main issues...you grow up being told "clean your plate" and when you're given more food than you need you eat it all. -Starfury
start drinking water and lots of it, I found it really helps -Icelator
Changed from approximately 6 OUARTS of soda per day to 12 OUNCES per day, replacing the lost soda with water. Lost 60lbs in 3 months. When I get to the weight I want, I may increase snacks. -srteach
The biggest problem seems to be eating the biggest meal of the day towards the END of the day. Problem is; who has time to cook, or even eat, a big meal at the start, or middle, of the day? So we eat our first two meals of the day quick & fast, burn up that energy, & then sit down for a big meal after we're done for the day & all that energy sits & turns into fat instead of getting burned off. That's my biggest problem (aside from too much not-unsweetened coffee. I drink a pot of coffee in an 8 hour shift compared w/ 1 or maybe 2 12 oz cans of soda during my off hours. If I could eat on a better schedule, that would work wonders. -MadJack
"Have you called Jenny yet?" (Uh, sorry, they've got me brainwashed - and now you know exactly where I work!) -Captain Trips
nice humor...
indiagiftservices.com -igs123
What is this "diet soda" of which you speak? For that matter, what is this "water" of which you speak? (Hoists another cold frothy one to Bacchus) -ecoli
betty whites off their rockers had the best gag one of the old guys was walking around in a hospital gown with a whiskey iv drip. -deedadee
Cutting down on soda helps a lot i find ( had to do that on dentist orders) But bang on for the Biggest meat at the end of the day. i've had friends that succeded losing weight by having several small meals across the days.. call them large healthy snaks. rather than skipping breakfast 9 as most of us do) grabbing lunch ( usually eating at our desks) then geting home- making a large meal ( left opvers end up as lunch.. and usually as a much smaller portion than that which we had the night before). -Harm
What everyone else said about portions and soft drinks. If you're not eating breakfast start having a container of yogurt. I quit smoking (7mo.) and /lost/ ~15 lbs. -VIPERsssss
Seriously, they're all right - the key to weight loss is portion control and increased activity. Increase can be as little as 10% more than normal to have significant effect. Park at the far end of the lot for a change. Take the stairs one more flight than usual. That's enough for a start. (Also, more water, fruits and vegetables - they are all "free foods.") -Captain Trips
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7.
4 days left
If you're like me you loved space quest. The makers are on kickstarter to fund a new comedy series of adventure games. they're a little short with only a few days to go, every little bit counts. http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/spaceventure/two-guys-spaceventure-by-the-creators-of-space-que?ref=search[By: Icelator / 2012-06-07]
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8.
End around Company Policy===DENIED
No, I can’t (won’t) suggest a wireless PCMCIA card for your non IT supported laptop to connect to our Corporate Network. It doesn’t work well because it’s a piece of junk that we didn’t test or support……..No I won’t configure the other netbook your department purchased to connect to the Corporate wireless network….If I make those suggestions and (and I’m sure this won’t happen...snicker) it doesn’t work, I’d hate to waste my managers time saying I need help supporting a laptop he didn’t approve, have tested, or purchase……However, if you’d like to ask HIM if you could have these things, and he says “Yes”…. I and the rest of my team will be happy to help you….What’s that?... You had already asked him and he said “No”….seems you wasted quite a bit of time and money there didn’t you?.......pity[By: Captn92 / 2012-06-08]
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Can I be the only one who saw the subject of this post and focused on the "===D" and thought..."heh, a peenor..."? -ChildofCthulhu
No, you're not the only one. Burrkiss thought that too. -concept14
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9.
Smelly! You been messing with Rose ?
YouTube Linkage : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSpjbGA1hcY[By: Necros / 2012-06-08]
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Damn, didn't see those cameras. -smellystudent
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10.
Case Modding
Like a tool. http://www.break.com/pictures/when-the-geek-squads-busy-2334126[By: Stryker One
/ 2012-06-10 ]
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11.
Newest Windows Version
The following link was in yesterdays paper
http://www.gocomics.com/workingitout/2012/06/10
[By: Park7 / 2012-06-11]
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Too bad the new version crashes, just like the old one. -docbrown01
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12.
Happy Dance
My new Cisco SF200-48 switch arrived at Peyton Place! After 6.5 years, I finally get to drag my company into the 21st century with their first managed switch! YAY![By: RiffRaff / 2012-06-12]
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Very nice! Conga-rats! -skippytpodar
sweeet! -Harm
Will it handle Windows 3.11? -Captain Trips
Sounds like a good time to put in a requisition for some Cat5e/Cat6 cable to replace the Cat3... *ducks* -unrenowned
Aw, it's a baby NETWORK! Isn't it KEWTE! *grins, ducks, and runs* -Grue
Hey! Y'all quit harshing my zen! -RiffRaff
Dude man, your such a buzzkill............who's got the bong? -burrkiss
Congratulations! I haven't the slightest effing clue what a Cisco SF200-48 switch is (yet), but congratulations! -MeanDean
(Five minutes of looking at pictures and reading PDFs later) Oooohhhh. Okay. -MeanDean
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13.
DAMN YOU! I need new pants [OT]
Thanks to who ever did it![By: DarkRookie / 2012-06-12]
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umm... missing a reference here? This is pretty opaque... -chazz
Funny the addition to the constellation seems apparent to me. -PolarCoyote
God I love a fat a$$. -burrkiss
Ah. Well, I guess I just ASSumed that DarkRookie had been appropriately decorated for some time now... -chazz
Sounds like someone likes big butts and can not lie .... I'll be in the LART shelter!! -spectreoflife
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14.
Priceless
Discovering the reason someone's work cell phone bill is sky high is because they're using an average of 6-7 times the number of monthly minutes provided on your work cell to make personal phone calls at all hours: Expensive
Being bitched out for three months in a row after you inform them that the paperwork they signed clearly states they are are responsible for any and all overage charges: Aggravating
Finding out that they had two entire pay checks taken away from the sheer amount of overages, got demoted & knocked down a pay grade after "someone" forwarded all the information to the inspector general's office, including a breakdown of the minutes usage, tapes of the afore-mentioned bitch-out sessions, in which you stated you can use the cell however you want in direct violation of the paperwork you signed stating otherwise and the three written warnings you received from $frontOffice: Priceless...[By: skippytpodar
/ 2012-06-13 ]
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there are somethings money can buy....for everything else there is a massive LART! -gashach
I'd love to do that. Unfortunately, a lot of the folks who run up large charges are the same folks who travel overseas (on company business) and therefore the charges are viewed as being necessary for work. However, there was the person who ran up a good bill while on vacation...
-VoiceOfSanity
I just don't understand the mindset of thinking you can get away with crap like that. -thx1138
That would be how a friend of mine lost his gov't contractor position. If I didn't know where he was, I would wonder if he was working for you. Well, it was that, PLUS, he was using the minutes to run a side consulting business. -TechieSidhe
Wow, that sounds like an Orbital LART if I have ever heard one... -Griffin2020
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15.
along the lines of it's broke
had a customer just submit a web ticket saying: Item is completed with a Sat result, thanks
[By: compbrat / 2012-06-14]
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18.
Very cool link
Hi folks, came across this and thought I would share it. It is a live feed of earth from the International Space Station and I have been blown away by it. If it is not online when you try give it a while and try again some stunning views http://www.ustream.tv/channel/live-iss-stream[By: starfishmagnet / 2012-06-17]
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whoa. -vacuumtubes
wow….
puneonnet.com
-pon123
I get to see such views on a regular basis here at $We_Keep_The_ISS_Flying. Every so often we also have the astronauts show up at work and listen to their tales of life in space.
-VoiceOfSanity
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19.
I'm Ba-a-a-ck!!!
Hello World! Sorry for the long sabattical, but life came calling. To catch up, I'm playing Dungeons & Dragons online. I had a level 11 melee fighter as of a week ago UNTIL, the guardian who invited me to his guild showed up with a "stone of experience" which jumped me from level 11 to level 16 instantly. OK, enough of the geeky stuff! My kids are grown up. My son is 20 and a sophmore in college and my daughter is now going to 8th grade. So how's everyone here been? Missed you guys a lot.[By: rokitt / 2012-06-18]
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Can't speak for any others, but I'm still here... albeit not adding too much to the comedy side of things. Was wondering where you'd got to, kinda... -chazz
Pm me which server you are on. Have a crew on Sarlona. -Olorin
Still here - nobody else would have me :) -Diptera
Welcome back! -skippytpodar
Welcome back! -virusjtg
Skippy! I like it in your head, mind if I say a while? -virusjtg
Still here myself.. -Harm
I'm not here - this is a recorded message. ;-) -Gromit
Olorin, I am on the Cannith server. Character name is majordoom. :) -rokitt
Welcome back, dude! -Grue
*tackle hug* OOOH! Yay you're back, AUA and I were just talking about you wondering if you'd come back. -redfaery
WB dude! -MadJack
Great to 'see' you again, rokitt! -ManyHats
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20.
Flipping Higher Ups
This starts around 1400 local time. I am getting flak for not communicating a tip rewrite to the floor. So I go into the tip and prepare to copy paste into an email for everyone. I look at the tip. I know I have changed it in the recent past, but this isn't right. 1st tip of is the title, it's a question. Fuck that. A title shouldn't be a question. Next is the lack of key words. I started adding them to make the searching easier, but nope, not fucking there. Then the body of the tip is a complete and utter fucking joke. It has a bullet list, which will make it a pain in the ass to edit late. Tabs, which cause the same headaches. And its in the form of two questions. It annoys me that it isn't a simple list of what to do in what situation.
The first question is followed by three answers. I could compress that into one sentence. The second question covers a similar but different scenario that is covered in a different tip. I don't know what pisses me off more, the fact it didn't link to that tip, or that the answer that was provided was completely wrong.
Best part, it was written by the client. By the guy the oversees us. Prove more and more that this guy is an idiot, and I couldn't communicate with him without yelling fucking moron or something similar.
So I go and edit it to make it more palatable to me, and to keep it looking like the rest of the tips I have written. I was called over while working in Word to undo the bullets and tabs. I am not allow to edit it. I point out that it looks nothing like the other tips I write and it is convoluted. Nope, can't change it. After my round of bitching, I was allowed to add the keywords I wanted and the reference number of the other tip.
I sit down a bit angry I wasn't allowed to change it. I realized that higher up has his name on the tip saying he edited it. I get the distinctive feeling now that the Team Leads are waiting to a bunch of agents to fuck up the process so they can blame him. There always seems a game of blame going on between us and them. Them usually coming up as the loser. [By: DarkRookie / 2012-06-18]
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sounds abuot right for call center politics.. or any office politics. -Harm
You usually cannot win in a game of f*ck-f*ck with the higher ups. You may prove them to be imbeciles, but that is not much consolation from the unemployment line. -Griffin2020
St. Ream? -objekt404
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