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Tech Stories Archives - December 2012
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1.
Hazard Pay
Can anyone beat this?
http://notalwaysright.com/does-not-com-poo-te/25363[By:  Stryker One
/ 2012-12-01 ]
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And this is why I _NEVER_ touch a laptop to be TS'ed with my bare hands... A $5.00 box of Nitrile machinists gloves is way cheaper than your medical bills after in infectious disease attack :) -grumpysysadm
had to deal with a laptop covered in rice from vomit. I used to work for value village pricing used furniture, including mattresses, also some people donated bondage clothing once. -Icelator
ewww -DarkRookie
Similar problem walked into a shop I used to work at - guy came in with his mom, they originally described the problem as 'fluid damage'. Apparently in a drunken stupor he had managed to piss all over his laptop. Again, it was only after my initial diags that they mentioned what type of fluid it was. -TheCyberwolfe
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2.
Another Nail In The Coffin Pt. 1
So, in my continuing saga of dealing with my current employer's outsourced IT company, I bring you all this little gem: Last week, the computer at our front desk began having Internet problems. I tried the quick remedies - rebooting both the system and the switch to which it was connected - but didn't really have time to explore the issue in depth. Basically, Internet Explorer was taking forever to pull up sites. Finally, on Wednesday I got a chance to spend a few minutes troubleshooting. I still don't have administrative access to the systems yet, so I can't install anything. However, I pulled up a command prompt and pinged my old ISP, and it worked fine. Internet Explorer; nada. Then I copied Portable Chrome onto the system from my USB drive and it worked fine as well. So the problem is Internet Explorer (color me surprised). I didn't have time to TS it any further, but e-mailed what I knew to the executives, suggesting that IE be rolled back from version 9 to version 8. (continued)[By: RiffRaff / 2012-12-03]
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3.
Another Nail In The Coffin Pt. 2
On Thursday, $ITCompany shows up and starts messing with the front desk computer. I'm listening to what's going on from my desk. He tries what I suggested and rolls back IE from 9 to 8, but it's still not working. He gets on the phone and calls back to his office and has a conversation about how stumped he is. After he hangs up, I ask a couple of questions, to which he tersely replies that, yes, he has tried all that, and it's got to be a problem with the operating system. He says he's run into this before every now and then, and the only solution is to wipe the drive and reinstall the operating system. I choke back a sarcastic "Seriously?" and just nod my head while going back to work. He lets everyone know that next Thursday he will be coming back to wipe the drive and reinstall Windows 7. Yesterday, I spent 15 minutes troubleshooting the system. Result: The Adobe Flash plugin for IE is the culprit. When it's disabled, IE works perfectly fine. Of course, I immediately e-mailed the powers that be to let them know this, and told them to please not let $ITCompany wipe the drive because it is completely unnecessary, but that I lack sufficient access to actually fix the problem by reinstalling the plugin. I'm sure there will be a Part 3 very shortly. :~}[By: RiffRaff / 2012-12-03]
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Oy. *facepalm* -Grue
This is at Peyton place? Or am I confused, as usual? If it is Peyton place, why did they outsource their IT and yank your admin access? If no, you should have been granted admin access as an IT employee, but that's JMHO. Good luck, Sir. You're one of the best ontributors to this site, and if you have to bail, good luck on the job hunt. -AdmiralWbury
I no longer work at Peyton Place. They fired me in August when I said I was going to the police over a child pornography issue. The FBI currently has all the evidence. The new place I work I'm not technically part of the IT staff, but they are aware of my background and have no problem using me in that way, but that makes me a threat to the nimrods they currently outsource to. -RiffRaff
So after hearing what old place fired you for have you filed a law suit. -YoYo
FYI - Had a flash issue recently with Chrome. If you go into Chrome:plugins (URL bar) and see Adobe Flash and Shockwave Flash, you need to disable which ever one is NOT AppData path. Google Chrome works so much better now.... -unrenowned
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4.
Some Manglers ...
I wonder WHO would have POSSIBLY thought this was a good idea?
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/12/04/louisiana-town-evacuated-after-6-million-pounds-of-explosives-discovered/
RwP
[By: ralphp1024
/ 2012-12-04 ]
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There you go, thinking that someone was actually "thinking". Don't you know by now that Starfish are incapable of any cognitive processes? -ecoli
Just stocking up on munitions for after the Apocolypse -Spyder19
Well, you know how it is. "Where do we put this pallet?" "This is an isolated building, just park it over there. We'll all be careful around it." Days later... "I've got another pallet that we need to store, where should I put it?" "We've already got one over there- one more isn't going to make a big difference." Days later... "I've got another pallet..." Repeat for "N" where "N" approaches infinity. -Voz
The company gets paid to "demilitarize" the ammo. They don' care where the components go. I would have burned the powder in small lots as it came out of the shells. -srteach
Why not just ship it all over to Red Jacket, I'm sure they could have fun with it. -Stryker One
members of a louisiana 're-form' movement? -stiffarm
What's scary is I live in the same area (about 20 mins away)!!! Furthermore they only found out about the explosives after there was .... wait for it!!! An EXPLOSION!!!! -Reepyr
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5.
Another Nail In The Coffin Pt. 3
So I fixed the IE crashing problem by simply uninstalling and reinstalling the Adobe Flash Player plugin. IE works without crashing now for everyone on that system. Took me 5 minutes plus a couple of reboots. E-mailed some observations to the PTB (Powers That Be). Probably still more to come in this series.[By: RiffRaff / 2012-12-06]
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One job I was told to go re-install Business Objects on a Windows computer. All it needed was to stop autoloading a corrupt data file and it was fine. I just used notepad to edit the .ini file. I was back so quickly the boss thought I had not done anything. -Gerund
Friggin' add-ins - if it ain't Adobe shit it's Java shit bolluxing up browsers. Still, it's earned you some good-boy points with the aforementioned PTB - I hope some good comes of it for you. We await Part the Fourth with interest... -Gromit
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6.
Dark Text
SF: "I threw out $importantDocument."
Me: "Why?"
SF: "It was too dark and I couldn't read any of it."
Me: "Uh, it was a white piece of paper."
SF: "Yes, but the text was dark.[By: SpiderRider3 / 2012-12-08]
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I threw this into my Starfish-to-English translator and all it could spit out was: "I am a starfish." -concept14
Have you ever seen white printing on a white background? -Gerund
Kind of like when you press a big black button and a black sign lights up black telling you not to do that again? -Captain Trips
Gerund: My printer does that every time I hit the page feed button. Wastes all the white ink in the cartridge. -flapjackboy
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7.
The birds and the bees.
Well boys and girls, this is where computers come from.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=511240862230263&set=a.456449604376056.98921.367116489976035&type=1&ref=nf[By: Stryker One
/ 2012-12-09 ]
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Clickable link: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=511240862230263&set=a.456449604376056.98921.367116489976035&type=1&ref=nf -Stryker One
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8.
Finally but no..grr
Today was supposed to be my day to play with pc parts. Got an older system in I was gonna set up, over clock and play with. All I need is some thermal paste..all out. Can I go get more - no. Snowstorm, school cancelled so Gigglebyte is home. So no pc playing for me :( [By: frprinterwiz / 2012-12-10]
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Got any zinc oxide laying around in your sun screen drawer? -Stryker One
No. No. No, no, no, no. StrykerOne, what are you trying to do here? Zinc oxide sunscreen has a lanolin base, and will all run away, carrying the zinc oxide with it, if you try to use it this way. -chazz
ya, there isn't really a substitute for thermal paste. -frprinterwiz
Not even spit? -FuzzyElf
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9.
Apple Maps Are Deadly !
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2012/dec/10/apple-maps-life-threatening-australian-police[By: Spyder19 / 2012-12-10]
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apropo http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/ jjust love watging an i anything get broken.. physically.. -Harm
I think Harm was drunk-commenting. -Stryker One
I think Harm also meant to post this: http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20121210 The link he posted just shows the current CAD Comic.<i> -DukeOfURL
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11.
Special Type Of Luser
Had a good one today. I had to remote in and install an IE add on to get one of the intranet sites to enroll for a digital certificate. Its a common enough issue for the luser without the rights to do so.
So I remote in and do my thing. Then I close what I had opened and told the luser to go to the intranet site. This was a fun Charlie Foxtrot to watch. The luser opens IE. Then open OL. Then an email. Then a link the the email to a PDF file, which was on the site I told him to go. Then the click on a link to go to the site I told him to go to in the first place.
Special, special peoples [By: DarkRookie
/ 2012-12-12 ]
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Sounds like the person who always takes the same way to work but when the new highway opens that's 20 minutes faster and way more direct opens they still take the old way because that's how they've always done it (Driving with my Grandparents was always so much fun...not!) -frprinterwiz
Hopefully they have a good enough computer to do all that at once..... Some computers would pass out at the strain, especially doing PDF's. And yes, my grandparents took the long, long way round, even though there were faster and better ways to get where they were going. -AdmiralWbury
My grandparents were a little more thoughtful. If they had the choice of A) taking the long scenic route or B) sitting in traffic bumper to bumper; they took option A. -unrenowned
"You mean I can just type something in the address bar?" -MisterCommon
MC: Do your (l)users actually know what the address bar is and where is it located? Mine don't. "Type x.com in the address bar and hit enter". "I get a million results! Which should I use?". -buitre
I can totally relate. Most of my lusers are like that, even with shiny new phones. Some of my coworkers are that way as well, completely zonking out with newer phones -mrfoxboy
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13.
Not to feel worse about yourself...
I'm not sure if I should feel like an underachiever or if the requirements have just been lowered. http://www.geek.com/articles/news/boy-of-8-becomes-microsoft-certified-professional-20090119/ [By: Stryker One
/ 2012-12-13 ]
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I bet he's home schooled. Lucky kid. -unrenowned
smart kid--already figured out a need to put 'operational' in an m$ operating system! -stiffarm
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14.
M$ 8 sucks
Had my 3rd M$8 lappy this week that fails to actually work with any modern (made this century) hardware. This time it was a Dell lappy and and Dell all-in-one printer scanner combo, only drivers are W7 and even in compat mode it still failed to play ball. I hate the W8 interface on a PC and users also hate it, not looking very bright for M$ IMHO (yes I know you can *tinker* it to look and work better, but we are talking users here and W8 still does not work irrelevant of the cosmetic changes), we solved the issue by buying a W7 ASUS and I was on standby with an XP install to boot.
Oddly it all worked out of the box with Ubuntu...[By: Jax / 2012-12-14]
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Best part of Win 8 Pro ... It comes with a free Win 7 Downgrade ;) -Necros
I have Windows 8. Modified heavily to my taste, and I still boot into Windows 7 more often than not. It does have some nice improvements under the hood, but Gods! they've bolted a Edsel chassis over it.
-VoiceOfSanity
I'm still wondering how this is in any way surprising? -skippytpodar
When I first saw the Win 8 interface I was thinking WTF? The more I've seen (but haven't used yet) the less I like it. Currently running Win 7 at home and at the office; no plans to "upgrade" any time soon. -Starfury
Actually, VoiceofSanity, the Edsel used the same chassis as certain other Fomoco products (which ones depends on which Edsel). Be more like taking a Ford chassis and bolting a Yugo body onto it, complete with rust. -ralphp1024
I won"t even work on a windows 8 system. That's how much I hate it, I like my windows 7 after some tweaking it seems to have all the good points of XP but is more stable and secure (Yeah I know it's just a relative statement.) -Wolfie0827
I'll wait for 9, thankyouverymuch. -Stryker One
I've talked about this with coworkers and friends, of course, and my take on it is this: Ever since Windows 95, 17 years ago now, Windows has *always* had the same three elements; a start menu, a window-based interface, and a taskbar with system tray or notification area. Now, 17 years later, when EVERYONE knows how to navigate these three elements, Microsoft takes one of them away, without even the option to bring it back. Worse, they did it to imitate a mobile phone OS with *dismal* market share. If it were anyone other than Microsoft and their money bins, that would be the end of the company. -NightSteel
my take is regular users who just email and solitaire it won't be that bad, people like us who like to actually do stuff will hate it. -Icelator
NightSteel, Windows has always had a 4th element: enough built-in fail to gouge another hundred bucks out of suckers for the next promise of an OS that works. -stiffarm
Windows is a lot like the Star trek movie franchise, where every other release sucks. Win8 is the new Vista, which was the new Windows Me. I think Win8 will be OK on mobile devices (including tablets) but will see very little adoption by people who actually have to sit at a computer all day and do actual work. I don't see them relaxing the stranglehold with a service pack, I think we'll need the next release to actually give desktop users a better working environment. -SalParadise
I already have to troubleshoot mobile devices with Win8. And I thought WinPhone7 was a PITA... -mrfoxboy
I am so happy to be using Windows XP on my beautiful little netbook. -FuzzyElf
Oh, I forgot to mention this: the teeny bit I've seen of Windows 8 reminds me of ... Microsoft Bob! -FuzzyElf
Windows 8 = DOS 4, redux. -lineswine
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15.
NT/OT Workman's Comp for sex mishap
Only is auusieland would this happen. http://www.wtop.com/681/3160318/Australian-court-Workers-comp-covers-sex-mishap . From the article: An Australian court has ruled that a bureaucrat who was injured while having sex on a business trip is eligible for worker's compensation benefits.[By: Necros / 2012-12-17]
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OH, I can think of many angles with this... most of them fun -srteach
What the hell? Is it just me or do they have the same issue with frivolous lawsuits like wwe do in America? Had I been the judge, I wouldn't have even considered the case! -gremlyn
I've got my opinions, but I don't want to seem like a cruel, heartless bitch. It doesn't say if she sought treatment for the depression. I can understand crippling depression, but it also doesn't say, unless there are photos, which given that she couldn't be identified, there weren't, if the injuries mamed her for life. If they did, I could understand not being able to continue in a role where she'd need to be seen often, but there should be ways around that if she is a candidate for such. I also wonder how it could qualify for worker's comp. Seriously. It doesn't make much sense. -AdmiralWbury
The admittedly tenuous rationale that makes it eligible for Worker's Compensation is that she was sent to that city, and expected to stay in a hotel, as part of her employment. If it was not for her job, she would have been nominally safe at home. As to the extent of her injuries and depression, there is nothing there by which we can judge; but there is also explicit non-mention of the award amount. I believe that it could have been difficult for her to go to work where everyone knew what caused the scars on her face... -chazz
I think the hotel should be named as a co-defendant -- if not for the poor mounting of the lamp, she wouldn't have been injured. -Captain Trips
Not the way insurance works, Captain. I believe that if she opens proceedings against the hotel, she can't claim anything from Workman's Compensation... but you can just bet that when the smoke settles in this case, there will be a new one, Workman's Comp against the hotel. When a school I work for caught fire, school's insurance paid the school so that the school could pay the remediation; then the school's insurance company went after the roofer's insurance company and the school board insurance company (because the school board hired the roofers) for repayment; the school board likely will then also hit the roofer's insurance company for payment of the school's claim; and finally the roofer's insurance company will hit up the roofers by raising their premiums. Times I think legal agreements are written expressly to ensure full employment for lawyers. -chazz
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16.
oh some people's kids
Older customer calls in, his wireless internet hub isn't working. One of those devices that use the cellular network forinternet and homephone. His computer isn't detecting the ethernet connection. As my coworker probes into how the setup is wired, we discover that in lieu of a standard ethernet cable, he used fishing rope tied around his computer and his hub.[By: mrfoxboy
/ 2012-12-18 ]
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BUWAHAHAHAHA! That's priceless... -spectreoflife
You hear stories like this and think that nobody could be that dumb...and then you realize that, yes, people ARE that dumb. -Starfury
I was just struck speechless by the thought. -srteach
-mrfoxboy
Well admittedly, there is a little difference in conductivity... -Voz
LOLcatz can't fit through fishing rope! -ecoli
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17.
Goodbye to Instagram
Because it's like the kind of tech songs we occasionally do here... http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/1782.html[By: concept14 / 2012-12-18]
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We had joy, we had fun chasing Streakers in the sun.
But the joy didn't last, the bastards ran too fast! -lineswine
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18.
Analogy
Working in a call center is like gambling in a casino. Whether or not you follow their rules, the house always wins....[By: vacuumtubes / 2012-12-20]
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Buying an airline ticket is like a bounty hunter making a deal with Darth Vader. -Bioguy
Posted on our server room door: Doing IT is like flying the TARDIS, you thump the crap out of something till it works and pray that it doesn't blow up the universe in the process. -ChildofCthulhu
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19.
Well, that's alright then...
Well, it's now 12:27 GRMT (Gromit's Retreat Mean Time) and nothing's happened - no apocalypse, no massive world-ending event, in fact nothing to laugh at at all.... ...apart from the thousands of gullible dickheads squatting on mountain tops or holed up in redundant nuclear bunkers, too embarrassed to come down/up/out (delete where applicable). Welcome back to the same old humdrum shit-ridden world, people. [By: Gromit
/ 2012-12-21 ]
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I'm in Australia and it was the 21st here some 23 hours ago. What I wanted to know:- was the end of the world supposed to propagate from the International date line when it was the 21st there(in the middle of the Pacific Ocean) or was it when the 21st hit South America or at the end of the day on the 21st on the date line or in South America? It doesn't really make sense, does it? -Gerund
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY_Gc1bF8ds -Spyder19
Apparently yon aforementioned apocalyptic event was scheduled for 11:11 GMT today - which is quite interesting as GMT hadn't even been invented then. Actually, Greenwich hadn't been built then either, and even if it had the Mayans wouldn't have heard of it. Or the Meridian. :-) -Gromit
How do we know that the world didn't end, and be immediately replaced by an identical one? Identical... but for one small thing *cue title music* -smellystudent
My alarm went off as usual this morning and when I looked out the window there wasn't any signs of chaos or doom. Looks like I have to go to work today. -Starfury
perhaps the meaning of life was discovered, only to have the world end and simultaniously be replaced with something more bizarly inexplicaple.. but we haven't noticed due to our facination with digital watches. -Harm
Yup. 11:11 hehehehehehe yah right. OK, that's 3:11 PM PST. I'll sleep right through it, and either I won't wake up again, or I'll wake up when the alarm clock goes off, get up, & go to work as usual. I'm betting on the latter. -MadJack
11:16 est... " Still Alive" -Harm
The Forecast: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo2qPz4K3MY&feature=player_embedded -Necros
smelly, that happened the day they turned on the Large Hadron Collider -Spyder19
@ SmellyStudent: I'll check to see if the dolphins are still around. -MeanDean
FedEx dropped what I think was a fishbowl. Ah well... -AngrySup
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20.
Yippeeee!!
Turbine has re-launched Asheron's Call 2! Free for AC1 subscribers. I sub'ed to AC1 just to play AC2! Oh how I missed it so.... If anyone decides to play, look me up. Player name is "Toth". Forum name is JoeLugian. SQUEEEE!! [By: JoeLugian / 2012-12-21]
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You lost me after the word "has." -MeanDean
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