You can read all the newest tech stories on this page.
Must Call Someone Else certified
It's just another standard shift, where I'm counting the seconds before I can go home. 11,947, 11,946, 11,945...
Me: Thanks for disrupting my nap. How can I fixup your farkup?
MCSE SF: Yeah, I'm the company tech here, I'm MCSE certified, and I need to request a replacement CD drive under warranty.
Me: OK, just so I can avoid having people questioning my dispatch, what steps were taken to diagnose the CD drive?
MCSE SF: The computer is no longer reading CDs.
Me: But how have we determined that it isn't a Windows issue?
MCSE SF: How do I do that?
Me: Well, have we tried booting the system with an O/S CD?
MCSE SF: I don't have access to that.
["Company tech", huh?]
Me: Have you tried re-imaging the hard drive, or swapping hard drives between this unit and a similar system to see which system the problem follows?
MCSE SF: No...
Me: Well, what does it say in Device Manager?
MCSE SF: What's that?
I've rarely been so tempted to fax my resume before, with a company name in such desperate need of a decent tech sitting right in front of me like that.
[By: HidariMak / 2005-03-12 ]
Comment on Story
Jesus Christ!, a company tech that doesn't have access to system disks. WTF does it take to fail the MCSE these days? turning up on the wrong day for the test and getting your own name wrong on the cheque?. Somebody needs to steal a B2 stealth bomber and take all these paper cert farms out. I'm purely a Mac bod and even I can find the fucking device manager without having to be walked there. -Digital Dogcow
I would do it. Send a recording of that phone call with your resume. <eg> -modeski
Damn straight. What modeski said. -steveO77
I deal with Windows and *nix systems. How the hell can someone who's a tech not know about the 'control panel' area of a gui'd system? Mac, Windows, KDE/GNOME, all pretty similar these days for the basics at least. -fearmyroot
Agree with fearmyroot. I grew up with DOS and Windows, but I still know that if I want to find system settings on a Mac or Linux GUI, it's going to be labeled "Control Panel" or something similar. This idiot is a "company tech," and has to have his hand held through even the most basic of troubleshooting. I can access Device Manager with my eyes closed and without using a mouse, and I can't get hired out of my phone support job??? 09:49, I haven't even gone to work yet, and I'm already pissed off. -RiffRaff
You can always spot the paper techs. They're the ones who have to remind you of their certs every 30 seconds as if mentioning the certs will garner them some kind of professional courtesy. Real techs have no need to trumpet their qualifications and hence, don't tell people about them unless applying for a job. -flapjackboy
Based on your description of his skills, I think I know how he farked up the CD-ROM. He either stuck a credit card in it with the tray open, or tried to wash the dust out of it with a garden hose... -LinuXtreme
I'd like to add how aggrovating this is. Here I sit able to do just about any thing in the M$ world you need and atleast able to read man pages in the *nix world and I can't find a job. This ass hat pays for a cert and then just walks in and gets the job with no skill. I wounder if he even HAD the cert. I'm thinking he may not have. Just throwing around letters to make himself feel good. get out of our feild. You are maiking the rest of us look bad. You Microsoft Clown School Educated baboon! -virusjtg
FJB's got it right on there... Any time I hear MCSE or A+ within the first 5 sentences, I know I'm in for headaches. The best techs just answer the questions without having to have handlebars and training wheels. -Torinir
OTOH, if the company he works for hired HIM, you may want no part of it... -hkypipe
When I last had to talk to a tech because a cable modem lost sync, it was:
Them: What's the problem // Me: Modem lost sync. // Them: Can you power cycle it? // Me: Sure. Done // Them: Ok, it still isn't in sync, let's set up a dispatch.
Them: What's the problem // Me: I'm an MCP and your service stinks and I'm so much better than you because I am an MCP, MCP MCP MCP MCP MCP MCP blah blah MCP MCP. Oh, the problem is my router needed to be power cycled? Yeah, I knew that, cause I'm an MCP MCP MCP <and so on>. I hate certification whores. -snJimboip
We have a MSCE rings in sometimes... most recent was because two computers on a bit of crossover went getting IP addys... and he had no idea why. *headdesk* -trs998
While on the subject of certs, maybe someone can verify a claim an MCSE (who is extremely competent, and didn't tell me he's an MCSE until I asked) made. He said that for the MCSE exams, there are three types of answers. The right answer, the wrong answer, and the MS answer. Any thoughts? -mdver
See, your next question should have been... Whats your company´s fax number? followed by... Are they hiring? -kuijen
Not "Are they hiring?", but "How soon after I send this to your boss will they be looking for a replacement?" -missourimule
Must of had his Monkeys Can Sling Excrement certification cause he don't know sh*t -technaround
Next Story:I give up.
<-- Back to Home Page
Help out TSC - Do you know of someone who needs a website or website maintenance?
Send them to NLH Solutions if they become a client
Hawk will send your $100