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524.
Subject: F---tards
Probably been done similarly before... but to the tune of Data's 'Life forms' from ST:Generations:
F--- tards
You rotten little f--- tards
I want to burn you, f--- tards
Come and die
Ch-ch-chk-chk-chk-chk-*SLAP*
[By :teivrann / 2010-03-03] [Top]
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Comments
/no really, the medication and therapy are helping - teivrann
If they're helping, I'm glad I didn't see you before you started them! -Captain Trips
*Cue the "I Want To Eat Your Face" song from SPACESHIP!* -Seamus
Starfish: I am...fully disfunctional. Programmed with multiple bugs. -KrazerKap |
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523.
Subject: The St. Ream Worker's Song
(To the tune of Process Man by Great Big Sea)
Chorus:
And it's talk boys talk
They'll time your every call
And every day you're in your cube
You'll want to end it all
But you talk....
Well a Tech Agent am I and I'm tellin' you no lie
I troubleshoot among the fish that call all day and cry,
There's lusers all around me and the management's a joke,
The tools are down, your boss' a clown and the fish you'll want to choke
Chorus
Well I've worked among the servers and I've seen them up in smoke
I've listened to more bullshit that it neigh' on makes me choke
I've been hundreds deep in endless queues, got sick with the swine flu
Been workin' rough, I've screamed enough that my face has gone blue
Chorus
There's no VTO or overtime or incentives galore
They lied to you in training so that you'd come back for more
And soon you just don't give a damn and you're slacking on the job
For all the calls within these walls, will make you want to sob
Chorus
Well a Tech Agent am I and I'm tellin' you no lie
I troubleshoot among the fish that call all day and cry,
There's lusers all around me and the management's a joke,
The tools are down, your boss' a clown and starfish you'll want to choke
Chorus (x2)
[By :AdeptusMechanis / 2010-01-27] [Top]
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Comments
In the Great Big Sea of support, aren't we all a little fishy sometimes? Bravo! -LDFeral
Flows well even though I've got no idea what the original sounds like. -AussieFoot
So i must now learn how to play the key tar, kidnap AM and become Wired Al. -ZombieBear |
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522.
Subject: The Starfish
Based on The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raven
Once upon a helpdesk query, while I pondered, meek and teary,
Over many a file and curious volume of forgotten LOLs,
While I shuddered, nearly snapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of starfish woke from napping, yapping at my chamber door.
"Tis some visitor," I uttered, "tapping at my chamber door -
. . . Only this, and nothing more."
Argh, distinctly I remember the sudden urge to hack, dismember,
And each separate dying member writhed its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morning; - vainly had not heed the warning
From the economic downturn - news of staff cuts more and more -
For the ones who used to work here, colleagues, friends and even more -
. . . Nameless here for evermore.
And the starfish sad incautious clicking on each purple monkey
Chilled me - billed them for fantastic errors never seen before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door —
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; —
. . . This it is, and nothing more."
[By :AussieFoot / 2010-01-21] [Top]
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Comments
A new classic! -Voz
fantabulous! -ThinTheHerd
Bravo! Bravo! Encore! -figglywig
I'd love to see the rest of that classic done into the style of tsc... -AdmiralLaurie
http://bash.org/?120296 NSFW -DarkRookie
Beautiful! *sniff* -Spacegoat
WOW... fantastic
-PhishPhucker |
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521.
Subject: Addicted To Lart
Based on Addicted To Love by Robert Palmerhttp://www.lyricsfreak.com/r/robert+palmer/addicted+to+love_20116935.html
Their lights are on, but they're not home
Fish call you on the phone
Your hands clench, your fists shake
Another fish, is what it takes
You can't sleep, you can't eat
There's no doubt, you're I.T.
Your throat is tight, you can't breathe
Another fish, is all you need
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to lart
You see the signs, but pay no heed
You're listening, till your ears bleed
Their lips flap in double time
Another fish you'll lose your mind, your poor lost mind
You can't be saved
Oblivion is all you crave
If there's some left for you
You don't mind if you do
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
[instrumental break]
Their lights are on, but they're not home
Fish call you on the phone
Your fists clench, your teeth grind
Another fish, you'll lose your mind
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
[By :AussieFoot / 2010-01-21] [Top]
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Comments
LOL that is great. Now I will have that song stuck in my head for the next 2 days. -THETECHFROMHELL
Nicely done! Great track, too - although Tina Turner's rendition is even better IMHO. -Gromit
Author! Author! (Flicks Zippo) -MadJack |
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520.
Subject: Source Code (sung to Milkshake)
My Source code brings all the geeks to the yard,
And their like It's better than yours, Damn right it's
better than yours, I can teach you,
But I have to charge
[By :ZombieBear / 2010-01-19] [Top]
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Comments
*pictures peter griffon crying while doing the song / dance in prison* -Harm
Better than the original! -KrazerKap
I did enjoy watching her shake her milk, just turned the sound down. ;) -AussieFoot |
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519.
Subject: Part 2
You're thinking it over
But you just can't sort it out
Does she want someone to tell her
What they think it's all about
She claims to be the one and only
Who's sad and lonely
She's reaching for the top
Well, she keeps on neeping an nopping
And it's never gonna stop
It's never gonna stop
It's never gonna, never gonna, never gonna, never gonna stop
She's not willing to compromise
Or deal with infinite red tape
You're who she bought her PC from
So you'd better fix netscape
Turn her PC on, tune her PC up
She can't get logged online
She just can't seem to realize
That she hasn't phoned up the right line
She's young now, she's wild now, she wants her service free
She doesn't really give a damn you're not her ISP
She's young now, she's wild now, she wants her service free
You're using terms, she doesn't know, like TCP/IP
[By :AdeptusMechanis / 2010-01-06] [Top]
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Comments
Bwavo Clappity Clappity. -ZombieBear
Holding up a lighter swaying back and forth!! That is so awesome!!!! -THETECHFROMHELL
Niiicce! -AussieFoot
Wow....well I must say that is impressive. -0gr3
Wow. If I had a band, I'd get that one recorded. I love that song. -AngrySup
I thought it was great, and I'm not even familiar with the original. -concept14
Nice job. Triumph lives on. A very under-rated band, imo. -ThinTheHerd
...and Rik Emmett plays guitar like nobodies business. After the band split, I saw him a very small venue (bar) and he blew my mind. Here's a link to the original song for anyone that's never heard them play (SFW)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os5wH_H7cng -ThinTheHerd |
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518.
Subject: A parting gift as I am back to school
To the tune of Magic Power by Triumph
Something's on the other end of the line
You don't know what it is
It sounds like the fish you weren't hoping to find
But you're not sure if she is
Then you start hearing the neeping
And a voice comes crystal clear
A luser does the talking
Says things you don't want to hear
You're young, you're wild and your service should be free
I've got the magic power of a customer in me
You're young, You're wild and your service should be free
Got the magic power of a customer in me
She climbs into bed
She pulls the covers overhead
And she phones her local tech
She's had a rotten day
So she's gonna make
This guy's life a living heck
He can't make her feel much better
Or bring her closer to her dreams
That little salesman's lying
Made the service better that it seems
She's young now, she's wild now, she wants her service free
She doesn't really give a damn you're not her ISP
She's young now, she's wild now, she wants her service free
You're using terms, she doesn't know, like TCP/IP
[By :AdeptusMechanis / 2010-01-06] [Top]
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516.
Subject: Stuck Here With Tards On The Phone
Song for beatmewithastick.... created by figglywig, all credit to them, and with apologies to Stealer's Wheel... (Stuck In The Middle With You)
Well, I hate to have to pick up the phone
with the starfish who just all piss and moan,
Makes me wanna hit my palm to my face,
And then go and thin out the human race.
Tards to the left of me,
Tards to the right,
here I am -
Stuck here with tards on the phone.
When they call, they all just neep and they nop,
How I wish that off a cliff they would drop.
I need another package of Tums -
It seems that all our users are dumb.
Tards to the left of me,
Tards to the right,
here I am -
Stuck here with tards on the phone.
Well, I stared out quite cheerful,
But now, I need a beer-ful, man...
And they wonder now just why I drink,
Makes me want to smack them and say
Think!....
Think!....
Trying to get through one more day,
Wishing they would all go away,
Feeling like I'll run out the door,
'Cause I don't think I can take anymore.
Tards to the left of me,
Tards to the right,
here I am -
Stuck here with tards on the phone.
Well, I stared out quite cheerful,
But now, I need a beer-ful, man...
And they wonder now just why I drink,
Makes me want to smack them and say
Think!....
Think!....
Well, I hate to have to pick up the phone
with the starfish who just all piss and moan,
Makes me wanna hit my palm to my face,
And then go and thin out the human race.
Tards to the left of me,
Tards to the right,
here I am -
Stuck here with tards on the phone.
Stuck here with tards on the phone.
[By : chazz / 2009-09-11] [Top]
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Comments
Good Work! It jumps, it flows, it swats with a LART stick. -Darkridr
"makes me want to hit them, "tink, tink"
o.O :) -dredtech
Bravo! But now the voice in my head is a nasal hippy with a guitar. -AussieFoot
Thanks, Chazz, for posting and adding song title (I'm at work, and don't concentrate on that many things that well anymore), and thanks also, DredTech - that IS a better line! -figglywig |
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515.
Subject: Queen Does Star Wars
Imperial Rhapsody
(sung to: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen) LANDO: This is the good life
This is a fantasy
Working on Bespin
An escape from Reality.
LEIA: Open your eyes
Stand up to these guys and see.
LUKE: I'm just a farmboy, I need some sympathy
Cuz who's my dad, I dunno
Little whine, little moan.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really matter, to me PIETT: Vader just killed a man.
Raised an arm up in the air
Now his life is no longer there.
Vader, we had just begun,
And now I've gone and lost the reb-el scum.
Vader, ooooooo.
Didn't mean to make you mad
If I'm not alive again this time tomorrow,
There'll be a new admiral, as if nothing ever happened. YODA: Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time.
LUKE: Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and learn the Force.
PIETT: Vader, ooooooooo.
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all. LUKE: I see a little silhouetto of a man
Palpatine, Palpatine, can it be the Emperor?
Thunderbolts and lightning, very very hurting me!
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, Where'd ya go? C-3PO O O O O O OH!
I'm just a farmboy, nobody loves me.
REBELS: He's just a farmboy, with a dead family.
Spare him this life of such mundacity!
HAN: Spice'll come, spice'll go. Jabba let me go.
JABBA: Bo shuda! (NO, we will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NO LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! C3PO: Oh R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, Come along.
LEIA: C-3PO has a rebel put aside for meeeee, for meeeeee, for
MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Stormtroopers start headbanging) LUKE: So you say you're the dear old dad of mine?
But you cut my hand off and left me to die!
Oh Vader, can't do this to me, Vader.
I know there's some good, I know there's still some good in you.
OBIWAN: May the Force be with you.
Use the Force to see.
May the Force be with you,
May the Force be with you, alwaaaaaaaaaaaaays.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really mat-ter, to meeeeeeee.
[By :HappyCrappy / 2009-05-27] [Top]
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Comments
omg!! that's awesome!! -scary
Legend!! -starfishmagnet
teh formatting gots f*xxored, unfortunately -HappyCrappy
Congratulations; your super-uber-geek card will arrive in the mail. Allow 6 to 7 parsecs for shipping. -RiffRaff
Thanks for sharing! I like the Y.O.D.A one, too. :) http://www.stumbleupon.com/toolbar/#topic=Songwriting&url=http%253A%252F%252Fartlung.com%252Fsmorgasborg%252Fstar_wars_songbook.shtml -Tekkie
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha mutha-fukkin' GENIUS!!!1!1 (Forget the lighter, who's got a torch? (EG)) -MadJack
*applauds* Brava! Brava! -DarthIndy
Both Mr. Freddy Mercury, Sir Alec Guinness, and Lord Vader / Anakin Skywalker must be revolving in their tombs, but that was still genius! :D :D :D -TheGhost
That's just wow man, nicely done! -Phylok
you sire have win the awesomeness trophy! -dustyhawk
Retire the cup! It'll be a long time before anyone can top this. -concept14
Very entertaining! Does this mean your secret identity is Steven Cavanagh? -AussieFoot
Two things; 1) That was awesome, 2) You have too much free f*cking time.... -unrenowned
Wow... just totally kicks the ass off of "The Saga Begins"! -linuxmatt |
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514.
Subject: I Feel Fine
Based on The Beatles - I Feel Fine
Original lyrics here http://lyrics.rockmagic.net/lyrics/beatles/one_2000.html#s07
T S C is good, you know,
It's funny as can be, you know,
I said so.
T S C's for nerds and I feel fine.
Starfish tell us lies, you know,
They tell us all the time, you know,
They're so slow.
T S C's for nerds and I feel fine.
I just had, to save this U R L.
I just had, to tell all of the world.
That on T S C we post, you know,
Tech songs and karma calls, you know,
They just grow.
T S C's for nerds and I feel fine.
We're all around the world, you know,
From east and west and poles apart,
The whole globe.
T S C's for nerds and I feel fine.
Shallowness, just leaves us underwhelmed,
Intellect, is primo in our world.
Cause we're minds that think alike, you know.
Logic and techno-bling, you know,
The blue glow.
T S C's for nerds and I feel fine.
[By :AussieFoot / 2009-05-15] [Top]
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Blue Glow? -Stryker One
(wishes for enough hair on top for a mop-top haircut) Cool! -CTYankee
/applaud -Diptera
Author! Author! (flicks Zippo) -MadJack |
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