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524.
Subject: F---tards
Probably been done similarly before... but to the tune of Data's 'Life forms' from ST:Generations:
F--- tards
You rotten little f--- tards
I want to burn you, f--- tards
Come and die
Ch-ch-chk-chk-chk-chk-*SLAP*
[By :teivrann / 2010-03-03] [Top]
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Comments
/no really, the medication and therapy are helping - teivrann
If they're helping, I'm glad I didn't see you before you started them! -Captain Trips
*Cue the "I Want To Eat Your Face" song from SPACESHIP!* -Seamus
Starfish: I am...fully disfunctional. Programmed with multiple bugs. -KrazerKap |
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523.
Subject: The St. Ream Worker's Song
(To the tune of Process Man by Great Big Sea)
Chorus:
And it's talk boys talk
They'll time your every call
And every day you're in your cube
You'll want to end it all
But you talk....
Well a Tech Agent am I and I'm tellin' you no lie
I troubleshoot among the fish that call all day and cry,
There's lusers all around me and the management's a joke,
The tools are down, your boss' a clown and the fish you'll want to choke
Chorus
Well I've worked among the servers and I've seen them up in smoke
I've listened to more bullshit that it neigh' on makes me choke
I've been hundreds deep in endless queues, got sick with the swine flu
Been workin' rough, I've screamed enough that my face has gone blue
Chorus
There's no VTO or overtime or incentives galore
They lied to you in training so that you'd come back for more
And soon you just don't give a damn and you're slacking on the job
For all the calls within these walls, will make you want to sob
Chorus
Well a Tech Agent am I and I'm tellin' you no lie
I troubleshoot among the fish that call all day and cry,
There's lusers all around me and the management's a joke,
The tools are down, your boss' a clown and starfish you'll want to choke
Chorus (x2)
[By :AdeptusMechanis / 2010-01-27] [Top]
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Comments
In the Great Big Sea of support, aren't we all a little fishy sometimes? Bravo! -LDFeral
Flows well even though I've got no idea what the original sounds like. -AussieFoot
So i must now learn how to play the key tar, kidnap AM and become Wired Al. -ZombieBear |
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522.
Subject: The Starfish
Based on The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raven
Once upon a helpdesk query, while I pondered, meek and teary,
Over many a file and curious volume of forgotten LOLs,
While I shuddered, nearly snapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of starfish woke from napping, yapping at my chamber door.
"Tis some visitor," I uttered, "tapping at my chamber door -
. . . Only this, and nothing more."
Argh, distinctly I remember the sudden urge to hack, dismember,
And each separate dying member writhed its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morning; - vainly had not heed the warning
From the economic downturn - news of staff cuts more and more -
For the ones who used to work here, colleagues, friends and even more -
. . . Nameless here for evermore.
And the starfish sad incautious clicking on each purple monkey
Chilled me - billed them for fantastic errors never seen before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door —
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; —
. . . This it is, and nothing more."
[By :AussieFoot / 2010-01-21] [Top]
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Comments
A new classic! -Voz
fantabulous! -ThinTheHerd
Bravo! Bravo! Encore! -figglywig
I'd love to see the rest of that classic done into the style of tsc... -AdmiralLaurie
http://bash.org/?120296 NSFW -DarkRookie
Beautiful! *sniff* -Spacegoat
WOW... fantastic
-PhishPhucker |
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521.
Subject: Addicted To Lart
Based on Addicted To Love by Robert Palmerhttp://www.lyricsfreak.com/r/robert+palmer/addicted+to+love_20116935.html
Their lights are on, but they're not home
Fish call you on the phone
Your hands clench, your fists shake
Another fish, is what it takes
You can't sleep, you can't eat
There's no doubt, you're I.T.
Your throat is tight, you can't breathe
Another fish, is all you need
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to lart
You see the signs, but pay no heed
You're listening, till your ears bleed
Their lips flap in double time
Another fish you'll lose your mind, your poor lost mind
You can't be saved
Oblivion is all you crave
If there's some left for you
You don't mind if you do
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
[instrumental break]
Their lights are on, but they're not home
Fish call you on the phone
Your fists clench, your teeth grind
Another fish, you'll lose your mind
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
Might as well face it, you're addicted to lart
[By :AussieFoot / 2010-01-21] [Top]
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Comments
LOL that is great. Now I will have that song stuck in my head for the next 2 days. -THETECHFROMHELL
Nicely done! Great track, too - although Tina Turner's rendition is even better IMHO. -Gromit
Author! Author! (Flicks Zippo) -MadJack |
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520.
Subject: Source Code (sung to Milkshake)
My Source code brings all the geeks to the yard,
And their like It's better than yours, Damn right it's
better than yours, I can teach you,
But I have to charge
[By :ZombieBear / 2010-01-19] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
*pictures peter griffon crying while doing the song / dance in prison* -Harm
Better than the original! -KrazerKap
I did enjoy watching her shake her milk, just turned the sound down. ;) -AussieFoot |
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519.
Subject: Part 2
You're thinking it over
But you just can't sort it out
Does she want someone to tell her
What they think it's all about
She claims to be the one and only
Who's sad and lonely
She's reaching for the top
Well, she keeps on neeping an nopping
And it's never gonna stop
It's never gonna stop
It's never gonna, never gonna, never gonna, never gonna stop
She's not willing to compromise
Or deal with infinite red tape
You're who she bought her PC from
So you'd better fix netscape
Turn her PC on, tune her PC up
She can't get logged online
She just can't seem to realize
That she hasn't phoned up the right line
She's young now, she's wild now, she wants her service free
She doesn't really give a damn you're not her ISP
She's young now, she's wild now, she wants her service free
You're using terms, she doesn't know, like TCP/IP
[By :AdeptusMechanis / 2010-01-06] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Bwavo Clappity Clappity. -ZombieBear
Holding up a lighter swaying back and forth!! That is so awesome!!!! -THETECHFROMHELL
Niiicce! -AussieFoot
Wow....well I must say that is impressive. -0gr3
Wow. If I had a band, I'd get that one recorded. I love that song. -AngrySup
I thought it was great, and I'm not even familiar with the original. -concept14
Nice job. Triumph lives on. A very under-rated band, imo. -ThinTheHerd
...and Rik Emmett plays guitar like nobodies business. After the band split, I saw him a very small venue (bar) and he blew my mind. Here's a link to the original song for anyone that's never heard them play (SFW)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os5wH_H7cng -ThinTheHerd |
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518.
Subject: A parting gift as I am back to school
To the tune of Magic Power by Triumph
Something's on the other end of the line
You don't know what it is
It sounds like the fish you weren't hoping to find
But you're not sure if she is
Then you start hearing the neeping
And a voice comes crystal clear
A luser does the talking
Says things you don't want to hear
You're young, you're wild and your service should be free
I've got the magic power of a customer in me
You're young, You're wild and your service should be free
Got the magic power of a customer in me
She climbs into bed
She pulls the covers overhead
And she phones her local tech
She's had a rotten day
So she's gonna make
This guy's life a living heck
He can't make her feel much better
Or bring her closer to her dreams
That little salesman's lying
Made the service better that it seems
She's young now, she's wild now, she wants her service free
She doesn't really give a damn you're not her ISP
She's young now, she's wild now, she wants her service free
You're using terms, she doesn't know, like TCP/IP
[By :AdeptusMechanis / 2010-01-06] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
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516.
Subject: Stuck Here With Tards On The Phone
Song for beatmewithastick.... created by figglywig, all credit to them, and with apologies to Stealer's Wheel... (Stuck In The Middle With You)
Well, I hate to have to pick up the phone
with the starfish who just all piss and moan,
Makes me wanna hit my palm to my face,
And then go and thin out the human race.
Tards to the left of me,
Tards to the right,
here I am -
Stuck here with tards on the phone.
When they call, they all just neep and they nop,
How I wish that off a cliff they would drop.
I need another package of Tums -
It seems that all our users are dumb.
Tards to the left of me,
Tards to the right,
here I am -
Stuck here with tards on the phone.
Well, I stared out quite cheerful,
But now, I need a beer-ful, man...
And they wonder now just why I drink,
Makes me want to smack them and say
Think!....
Think!....
Trying to get through one more day,
Wishing they would all go away,
Feeling like I'll run out the door,
'Cause I don't think I can take anymore.
Tards to the left of me,
Tards to the right,
here I am -
Stuck here with tards on the phone.
Well, I stared out quite cheerful,
But now, I need a beer-ful, man...
And they wonder now just why I drink,
Makes me want to smack them and say
Think!....
Think!....
Well, I hate to have to pick up the phone
with the starfish who just all piss and moan,
Makes me wanna hit my palm to my face,
And then go and thin out the human race.
Tards to the left of me,
Tards to the right,
here I am -
Stuck here with tards on the phone.
Stuck here with tards on the phone.
[By : chazz / 2009-09-11] [Top]
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Comments
Good Work! It jumps, it flows, it swats with a LART stick. -Darkridr
"makes me want to hit them, "tink, tink"
o.O :) -dredtech
Bravo! But now the voice in my head is a nasal hippy with a guitar. -AussieFoot
Thanks, Chazz, for posting and adding song title (I'm at work, and don't concentrate on that many things that well anymore), and thanks also, DredTech - that IS a better line! -figglywig |
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515.
Subject: Queen Does Star Wars
Imperial Rhapsody
(sung to: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen) LANDO: This is the good life
This is a fantasy
Working on Bespin
An escape from Reality.
LEIA: Open your eyes
Stand up to these guys and see.
LUKE: I'm just a farmboy, I need some sympathy
Cuz who's my dad, I dunno
Little whine, little moan.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really matter, to me PIETT: Vader just killed a man.
Raised an arm up in the air
Now his life is no longer there.
Vader, we had just begun,
And now I've gone and lost the reb-el scum.
Vader, ooooooo.
Didn't mean to make you mad
If I'm not alive again this time tomorrow,
There'll be a new admiral, as if nothing ever happened. YODA: Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time.
LUKE: Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and learn the Force.
PIETT: Vader, ooooooooo.
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all. LUKE: I see a little silhouetto of a man
Palpatine, Palpatine, can it be the Emperor?
Thunderbolts and lightning, very very hurting me!
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, Where'd ya go? C-3PO O O O O O OH!
I'm just a farmboy, nobody loves me.
REBELS: He's just a farmboy, with a dead family.
Spare him this life of such mundacity!
HAN: Spice'll come, spice'll go. Jabba let me go.
JABBA: Bo shuda! (NO, we will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NO LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! C3PO: Oh R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, Come along.
LEIA: C-3PO has a rebel put aside for meeeee, for meeeeee, for
MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Stormtroopers start headbanging) LUKE: So you say you're the dear old dad of mine?
But you cut my hand off and left me to die!
Oh Vader, can't do this to me, Vader.
I know there's some good, I know there's still some good in you.
OBIWAN: May the Force be with you.
Use the Force to see.
May the Force be with you,
May the Force be with you, alwaaaaaaaaaaaaays.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really mat-ter, to meeeeeeee.
[By :HappyCrappy / 2009-05-27] [Top]
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Comments
omg!! that's awesome!! -scary
Legend!! -starfishmagnet
teh formatting gots f*xxored, unfortunately -HappyCrappy
Congratulations; your super-uber-geek card will arrive in the mail. Allow 6 to 7 parsecs for shipping. -RiffRaff
Thanks for sharing! I like the Y.O.D.A one, too. :) http://www.stumbleupon.com/toolbar/#topic=Songwriting&url=http%253A%252F%252Fartlung.com%252Fsmorgasborg%252Fstar_wars_songbook.shtml -Tekkie
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha mutha-fukkin' GENIUS!!!1!1 (Forget the lighter, who's got a torch? (EG)) -MadJack
*applauds* Brava! Brava! -DarthIndy
Both Mr. Freddy Mercury, Sir Alec Guinness, and Lord Vader / Anakin Skywalker must be revolving in their tombs, but that was still genius! :D :D :D -TheGhost
That's just wow man, nicely done! -Phylok
you sire have win the awesomeness trophy! -dustyhawk
Retire the cup! It'll be a long time before anyone can top this. -concept14
Very entertaining! Does this mean your secret identity is Steven Cavanagh? -AussieFoot
Two things; 1) That was awesome, 2) You have too much free f*cking time.... -unrenowned
Wow... just totally kicks the ass off of "The Saga Begins"! -linuxmatt |
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514.
Subject: I Feel Fine
Based on The Beatles - I Feel Fine
Original lyrics here http://lyrics.rockmagic.net/lyrics/beatles/one_2000.html#s07
T S C is good, you know,
It's funny as can be, you know,
I said so.
T S C's for nerds and I feel fine.
Starfish tell us lies, you know,
They tell us all the time, you know,
They're so slow.
T S C's for nerds and I feel fine.
I just had, to save this U R L.
I just had, to tell all of the world.
That on T S C we post, you know,
Tech songs and karma calls, you know,
They just grow.
T S C's for nerds and I feel fine.
We're all around the world, you know,
From east and west and poles apart,
The whole globe.
T S C's for nerds and I feel fine.
Shallowness, just leaves us underwhelmed,
Intellect, is primo in our world.
Cause we're minds that think alike, you know.
Logic and techno-bling, you know,
The blue glow.
T S C's for nerds and I feel fine.
[By :AussieFoot / 2009-05-15] [Top]
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Comments
Blue Glow? -Stryker One
(wishes for enough hair on top for a mop-top haircut) Cool! -CTYankee
/applaud -Diptera
Author! Author! (flicks Zippo) -MadJack |
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512.
Subject: The Overanalyst
Another day, another call
Of something not working right at all
‘I can fix this!’ I think to myself
‘The manual is sitting up on my shelf’
A nice tricky problem, the best of all
Tracking the fault through functions and calls
I work for hours, investigating hard
Neglecting my lunchtime with little regard
But as I work, the user calls to me
He only went and fixed it..by rebooting his PC….
[By :CommanderData / 2009-05-08] [Top]
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Comments
"... Cuz I wanna be an Anarchist!" </Sid Vicious > -Necros
Sorry, Necros, but Sid wasn't in the band when "Anarchy" was released. Substitute Johnny Rotten and yer good to go. -SalParadise
*sigh* I've definitely been known to do that. I enjoy solving tricky problems, so it sometimes slips my mind to check for the simple solution - and of course, thanks to Murphy, those are the times when a reboot (or, er, plugging it in) will fix the problem. -DarthIndy
Sal - Glen Matlock would have been playing bass at the time, IIRC -lineswine |
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510.
Subject: Violent Night
Unfortunately I can't take credit for this one.
Violent Night
By David Pogue, excerpted from MacWorld Magazine, December 1996
(Sung, if possible, to the tune of "Silent Night")
Silent Mac, broken Mac!
System bombed, screen went black.
Books suggested things; I tried 'em all:
Shift key, desktop file, clean reinstall.
Now my deadline is tight,This Mac's been silent all night.
Violent night, horrible night!
Lost my cool, filled with spite,
Threw my Mac through the balcony door
Watched it fall from the 20th floor,
Now I'm sleeping in peace; Thank God I had it on lease.
[By :AussieFoot / 2009-02-18] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
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509.
Subject: I Hate People
To the tune of I Feel Pretty, from West Side Story...
I hate people!
Stupid people
I hate children, and women, and men!
And it's simple
I just want to stab them in the eyes with my pen.
I loathe people!
All the people
No matter their race or creed!
And I triple
My eternal loathing if they try to breed.
See the stupid person in that office there!
How could such a stupid person be?
Such a stupid oaf!
Such a stupid git!
Such a stupid prat!
Calling after me!
I hate people!
Loathsome people
I hate them twenty-four/seven each day!
And I'll cripple
Every dumbass who gets in my way!
I hate people!
Can't stand people!
Can't stand rednecks or Hoosiers or you!
And I'd quibble
With any jerk who doesn't hate them too
Hear the stupid moron on my speakerphone!
How fucking stupid can he really be?
Stupid questions here!
Stupid questions there!
Answer every one!
Then he questions me!
I hate people!
Stupid people!
I hate people and all of their noise!
For I'm doomed
To support all of their technical toys!
[By :RiffRaff / 2009-01-12] [Top]
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Comments
Where appropriate, replace people with starfish. But only in the song, in the real world it is preferable to replace starfish with a vacuum as it increases the average IQ. -AussieFoot
Cool boy. -unrenowned
Permission to rewrite with a few words to make it applicable to UK chavs? -CommanderData
CD: Sure, have at it and repost. -RiffRaff
Excellent work, Riffy! :) -Tekkie
Doesn't the fifth phrase have 5 syllables, e.g. shouldn't it be "It's so simple." ? Don't mean to be a nitpick, it's a great version of the song. -MSimmons777
Nice one! -MadJack
Thank you Riff! I am now in tears laughing at my desk! Just what I needed. -figglywig
Someone get that man a shotgun and ammo before he does something REALLY regrettable! -MacDaddy
Ah, Riff, you set such a high standard. Most of us can only manage to hate people twenty-four/seven each *week*. -concept14
Riff, if I wore a hat, I'd ti it right now. -udoshan |
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508.
Subject: Lolcats Ode to Joy
My God, I really have lost it...
Ohai, do not want!
It can be sing time
we haz a good song.
Joi, cheezburger awesome
kitteh of Ceiling Cat
We r in ur house
imbibin' ur fire.
Joycat has powerz
stop all fightn
Kittehs all frum same littur
cuz she sez so.
May kitteh who is lucky
to have a buddy
And kitteh who haz bewbies
Say kthanx
Rly, If he asks
I can has my own sole?
FAIL
DO NOT WANT
All the lols there r
are in ur nature, drawin ur joy
Goodcats and evilcats
are in ur flower bed
We haz kizzes and whyne
we be Joycat's friend
she showz us to chillax
and follow Ceiling Cat
Yay, Ceiling Cat gimme sun
to lay in
Kthanxbi
We rock!
Joi, cheezburger awesome
kitteh of Ceiling Cat
We r in ur house
imbibin' ur fire.
Hugz tiem for all kittehs!
We can haz kissez
Broz, Ceiling Cat
must be in our starz
Visible Ceiling Cat?
Is in ur canopy
dwellin in ur starz
Hugz tiem for all kittehs!
We can haz kissez
Broz, Ceiling Cat
must be in our starz
Visible Ceiling Cat?
Is in ur canopy
dwellin in ur starz
Joi, cheezburger awesome
kitteh of Ceiling Cat
We r in ur house
imbibin' ur fire.
Hugz tiem for all kittehs!
We can haz kissez
Broz, Ceiling Cat
must be in our starz
Visible Ceiling Cat?
Is in ur canopy
dwellin in ur starz
Hugz tiem for all kittehs!
We can haz kissez
Broz, Ceiling Cat
must be in our starz
Visible Ceiling Cat?
Is in ur canopy
dwellin in ur starz
Joi, kitteh of ceiling cat
U has powerz
stop all fightn
Kittehs all frum same littur
cuz she sez so.
Hugz tiem for all kittehs!
We can haz kissez
Broz, Ceiling Cat
must be in our starz
Joi, cheezburger awesome
cheezburger awesome
Joi, cheezburger awesome
[By :linkv / 2009-01-10] [Top]
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Comments
lolz!! -MadJack
now that'll be stuck in my head for a while. lol! -AdmiralLaurie
Bad enough I watched the Little Einsteins Really Huge Adventure today which featured ode to joy at least 20 times in about an hours length of time, now I'll be singing it lolcat style. -frprinterwiz
Makes a great addition to LOLcat Bible. http://www.lolcatbible.com -MisterCommon
I am Ghostcat, and I approve of this post. Srsly. -TheGhost
I like this :) -CommanderData
Almost enough to redeem Basement Cat. -AussieFoot |
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506.
Subject: The I.T. Man
AussieFoot sent me this song to post.
It is based upon Billy Joel’s Piano Man, the original lyrics of which can be found at:
http://lyrics.rockmagic.net/lyrics/joel_billy/piano_man_1973.html#s02
The I.T. Man (reinterpretation of The Piano Man)
It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
The regular fishes phone in
There’s a co-worker sitting next to me
Sobs and twitches with every phone ring
I say, “Sir, can you tell me your ISP?”
I don’t want to hear all your woes
I’m so sad and I weep cause I used to be leet
Why can't these starfishies let go
neep n-neep, n-n-neep
n-neep, n-n-neep, nnn-neep
Fix what is wrong, you’re the I.T. man
Fix what is wrong at once
Well, the gene pool’s in need of a chlorine wash
And you’ll have to deal with much worse
Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
I fix his PC for free
He provides scotch ’n’ coke, and he tells a good joke
But he still is an eye dee ten tee
He says, “Bill Gates I’m sure is a robot, man”
As the blood drains away from my head
“Well I’m sure I could run Windows Vista XP
Or just install DOS one instead”
neep n-neep, n-n-neep
n-neep, n-n-neep, nnn-neep
Now Saul is a sys admin specialist
Whos server has never been wiped
He’ll recompile SUSE, until he gets woozy
And probably will be for life
And the starfish are catching new viruses
As you think about breaking their bones
Yes, they’re sharing a file with a trojan horse
But at least you can hang up the phone
Fix what is wrong, you're the I.T. man
Fix what is wrong at once
Well, the gene pool's in need of a chlorine wash
And you’ll have to deal with much worse
It’s a regular haul for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
Cause he knows that it’s me hides his porn on PC
To forget his real life for a while
And the PC, it sounds its last death rattle
And the HDD spins its last whirrr
As they lower the bar, put my head in my arms
And say, “Damn, those starfishes are wierd!”
neep n-neep, n-n-neep
n-neep, n-n-neep, nnn-neep
Fix what is wrong, you’re the I.T. man
Fix what is wrong at once
Well, the gene pool’s in need of a chlorine wash
And you’ll have to deal with much worse
[By :MSimmons777 / 2008-10-29] [Top]
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Comments
I love it and ohh so true. -Crai
*applause* -Grue
*Golf Clap* -Gunpe
We seriously need someone to make a CD so we can sell it, and it'll have all these songs on it. It'd make... millions? -Caboose447
You guys rule. I'd been trying to write the word for a tech song for months and I just don't have the imagination for it. My song was to the words, "Sunrise, Sunset" and it called, "Login, Logout". Any takers? -Biosynthetic
This is one of the best Tech Songs I've ever seen. Fits the original and yet is perfectly on-topic. *applause* -silvermoon
Seconded, Silvermoon - beautifully done. -Gromit
I keep tellin' you guys... Get me the music and I'll record myself singing it! ...did it at LEAST once already. -ShujinTribble
....holds cigarette lighter high in the air.....
-BarmanVarn
Very well done. kudos to the author (that being you)! -Darkridr
Author! Author! (Flicks Zippo) -MadJack
Actually, Darkridr, AussieFoot sent it to me to post. He may be the author, he didn't say. -MSimmons777
Yep, combination of reading TSC and boredom with comparing versions of hundreds of source files created a need to do something "not work" and fanned a tiny ember of inspiration. The Piano Man just seemed to fit so well as I was changing the words. Can't play, can't sing, can barely create, but when the mood hits sometimes I can mod the hell out of someone elses hard work. ;) -AussieFoot
//wipes.tears.from.eyes - i love it. -GoblinKing |
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505.
Subject: Pirate Song Reformatted
Pirate Song
Corrected the formatting . . . . .
Derelict by Young Ewing Allison (a.k.a. Fifteen Men On The Dead Mans Chest)
Fifteen Men On The Dread Help Desk
Fifteen men on the dread help desk
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum
George and downsizing had done for the rest
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum
The rate was fixed by the C.F.O.
My IQ drained by an AOL spike
And handset grip was marked belike
It had been gripped
By fingers ten;
And minds destroyed,
By users again
Like brain eating ghouls from the living dead
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men of the original corp
Dead and be damned and the rest outsourced
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum
The super pointed his mouse at gore
Where the starfish alas his faith had shore
And the starfish he called back times four.
And there they stay,
And the telephone lines
Ringed all day long
To despairing sighs
At bonzai buddy and foul limewire
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men staring at facebook
Ten of the crew had the murder look
Twas an uninstall or a wipe instead
Or an Otis hole in a battered head
And our eyes agleam with throbbing red
And there they stay
AOL damn their eyes
PDAs crapped
On synchronise
All starfish are just contrariwise
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men of the brain bleach crew
Users having jacked over sites so blue
Users left hands clamped in a stranglehold
Their right hands clicking oh so bold
The screens filling up with sites untold
And they stay there
That had took the plum
With sightless glare
And our lips struck dumb,
While we shared all by the rule of thumb
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum
More was seen through the stern light screen
Chartings no doubt where a woman had been!
A flimsy shift on a bunker cot,
With a thin dirk slot through the bosom spot
And the lace stiff dry in a purplish blot.
Oh was she wench…
Or some shuddering maid…?
That dared the knife
And took the blade!
By God! she was stuff for a plucky jade
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum!
Fifteen men on the dread help desk
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum!
George and downsizing had done for the rest
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum!
We write 'em all up on the TSC
There's twice ten times what we've time to see
And we heave over 'em and block our sight
With a No-Please-No!
And a What The Hell!
And a sullen plunge
On a soiled Dell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell!
Oh-God-No and a bottle of rum!
[By :MSimmons777 / 2008-10-28] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Beautiful! -Seamyst
O.O I likes it. I likes it a lot, sir. -Seamus
Hysterical! I love it! -Biosynthetic
Yarrr!! Nice one, matey! -MadJack |
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504.
Subject: Technical Support Monday
The SysAdmin for the Helldesk tries to fix MS Exchange
They called him seven times already and he just got another page
It’s just a technical support Monday
Servers melting everywhere
Rows of cubes that are all the same
And IT just pulls out their hair
Here’s Mrs. Pride, her modem’s fried because lightning hit her house
And Mr. Breem, he’ll yell and scream that he just wants a brand new mouse
It’s just a technical support Monday
And I’m training some dumb noob
The PHB harps on handle times
And they blocked access to YouTube
The starfish neep and nop
They never seem to stop
I wanna jab their heads with an ice pick
I think I need to vacate
I’m sure you can relate
But they’ll can me if I call in sick
Duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh DUH
Duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh DUH
It’s just a technical support Monday
Calls come in from everywhere
It’s just a technical support Monday
Is it something in the air?
It’s just a technical support Monday (repeat and fade)
[By :Colonel32 / 2008-09-08] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
is that to the tune of Manic Monday? -AdmiralLaurie
Looks like it AL. -unrenowned
Pleasant Valley Sunday by the Monkees -Colonel32
Nice. Title and two lines were enough for me to identify the tune. (Yep, I'm an old phart.) -concept14
I like it. -Amicuspicarum
I firs tstarted trying to put this to the tune of Blue Monday.... :P -Ara
I instantly started to try to remember Mike Nesmith's way-cool opening riff, which was actually developed by the Turtles bass player Chip Douglas (no, not the one from My Three Sons) who based it on "I Want To Tell You" by the Beatles. This is still one of my favorite songs, though that opening riff is a bitch! I do some of my best vocal harmonies to this song. -SalParadise |
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503.
Subject: Let's all make a PPTP
(to the tune of let's all go to the movies)
Let's all make a PPTP,
Let's all make a PPTP,
Let's all make a PPTP...
Point-to-Point-Tunneling Protocol....
[By :illiterate / 2008-08-18] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Ha ha ha ha!!! -WalNut
I must've taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque! -billybien |
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501.
Subject: This is my rant
(inspired by TechKittenNotts in the break room: Original This is My Rifle by Combichrist)
This Is My Rant
This is my rant,
it is my life
We are master of our starfish
Till there is no starfish
[By :Ara / 2008-07-30] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
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500.
Subject: Inna Gada Da Vida
I' think you're a starfish, honey,
Don't you know that techs hate you?
I think you're a starfish, honey,
Don't you know that you'll always be screwed?
Oh, they listen to your crap
and give you a LART
Oh, the techs will beat on you
with a phallus induced fart
Your future is farked!!
[By :crazymactech / 2008-07-23] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
That bass line will be going through my head all evening. -concept14 |
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499.
Subject: Born To Be Mild
Story behind why I wrote this. I pulled into a Walmart parking lot on my Harley. I've got on a leather jacket, leather chaps, leather gloves, and tinted reflective goggles. As I'm taking off my helmet, a family walks past me and a 4-year boy keeps pointing at me and telling his mom, "Bad man! Bad man!"
I thought, WTF stereotypes are the parents teaching their kids? A bad man? I'm retired USAF, am a computer tech, and have a masters degree. Yeah, I'm a real "bad man." So this song is for all the computer techs out there who ride motorcycles :) Apologies to Steppenwolf.... Don't know why the question marks appear below. Probably got the HTML code screwed up (Safari doesn't play well with TSC). Maybe a mod can fix tha for met. Hey Hawk, I've haven't got my T-Shirt from my renewal a few months ago.
Get your bit torrent running?On the information highway?Lookin' for warez?And whatever I steal today
?Yeah Darlin' gotta make IT happen
?No users get a love embrace
?Fire all of your PFY's at once
?Explode them into space
??I see smoking PCs
?Modems get hit with thunder
?Dealing with starfish
?And their porn I discover
?Yeah Darlin' gotta make IT happen
?No users get a love embrace
?Fire all of your PFY's at once
?Explode them into space
??Like a true techie child
?We were born, born to be mild
?Tweaking the CPU speed so high
?You know it's gonna die
??Born to be mild
?Born to be mild
[By :crazymactech / 2008-07-11] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Someone get me the music sans vocals and I'll do it! -ShujinTribble
/me waves his lighter back and forth. -unrenowned
Most excellent! -Amicuspicarum
FREE BIRD!! -vacuumtubes
Shame knuckleheads think that about people that ride cycles. My brother and his wife have been riding Harleys for years. Each year they do rides for charity, the group makes sure there's money available for disabled kids that need surgeries or other medical treatments or even trips to places like 6 Flags along with their families. They have raised over $10,000 several years in a row now. I say 'ride on dude, ride on' and let those knuckleheads who are most likely the worst of the starfish live in their own little world of stupidity and ignorance. -NanoGeek
I know what you mean nanogeek. I ride with the Patriot Guard riders who help to ensure that the families of those KIA overseas do not have to see or hear the idiot protestors. One of our members is the step father of Byron Fouty. Bryron and another Army soldier were MIA for over one year. Their remains were recently found. Bryon's family wants PGR to be at the funeral.
As you have hinted at, bikers are some of the most kind hearted people you will meet. They will gladly ride to a charity event to raise $ for the event even though it cost them a lot of gas $ to get there. Tough looking exteriors, but teddy bear hearts behind those leathers. The song was a tongue in cheek response about the stereotypes about bikers. -crazymactech
With the way gas prices are going, we may all end up riding bikes/scooters. -Stryker One
Another stereotype-breaker: when I was a division supervisor in a corporate security group, ($1B company), we put out an alert to all of our security reps to watch over the bikes that employees rode in, because there was an epidemic of thefts from high-end Harleys... of course, the fellow who came riding in on his Harley the most on Saturday mornings was one we really wanted to protect- it was our C.F.O.! I really wanted to be around sometime when he might have gotten the "bad man" response, just to ease over and enlighten the poor fools! -Voz
My adoptive mother (50 yrs older than me) was one of the deluded individuals who thought everyone who owned a motorcycle was scum of the earth -- and consequently she'd be spinning higher revs than a Harley running flat out on a steep downgrade if she knew Mr. Lowlyte & I are teaching Lowlyte Jr. that, short of folks from the local SCA and our fellow Blue Blaze Irregulars, bikers are apt to be the nicest people and the most likely to help you out of a jam. My MIL thinks bikers are fine friends to have, but doesn't like their machines; of course, that kinda comes with the territory of being a retired orthopedic nurse... -lowlyte
Heh, yesterday on the way home from a lovely evening @ a bar by the beach, Mrs. Paradise and I are at a right-hand turn at a busy 4-way intersection. We're in a right-turn lane with a yield sign, and I get to it just after the light changes and there's traffic heading through the intersection right for me. Then this group of 4 bozos on bikes passes me on the right, and pulls onto the road *with the oncoming traffic*, all 4 of them right after another. No helmets, no leather, they're wearing shorts and flip-flops. "Great," says Mrs. P. "Another batch of drunken Sunday riders trying their damnedest to become organ donors." THOSE are the folks that give bikers a bad name. -SalParadise
CMT - the Patriot Guard Riders are awesome. I attended the funeral of my then-fiance's brother, who was killed in Iraq, about a year and a half ago. Members of the PGR came and provided escorts and protection from the idiots who were "protesting" his funeral. They were some of the nicest people I've ever met. -Seamyst
Exactly why the HELL anyone would be callous enough to protest at a funeral is beyond me! Geez, some people have NO respect for the dead... -udoshan |
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498.
Subject: chatting off topic
I used to think my o-pin-ion mattered, now I'm just not sure
But app-ar-ent-ley I'm off of topic, when I talk to her
Now every time I go to log-in, I think to myself "shoot..."
"..I wonder how long it will be, before I get the mute"
I'm chatting off-topic, oooh-whoa-oooh
I'm chatting off-topic, oooh-whoa-oooh
I'm chatting off-topic, oooh-whoa-oooh
And I startin' to get flamed: "HEY! Log off now!"
And I startin' to get flamed: "HEY! Log off now!" "Yea"
I used to think this was a freedom, I could say what I want
Too late I figured it all out, no tangents or taunts (not even one taunt)
Now I didn't get banned for the weekend, or even five days...no, no, no
I got kicked right out of the channel, this ban's here to stay (in-def-i-nite-ly)
I'm chatting off-topic, oooh-whoa-oooh
I'm chatting off-topic, oooh-whoa-oooh
I'm chatting off-topic, oooh-whoa-oooh
And I startin' to get flamed: "HEY! Log off now!"
And I startin' to get flamed: "HEY! Log off now!"
And I startin' to get flamed: "HEY! Log off now!"
And I startin' to get flamed
[By :EtherRabbit / 2008-03-22] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Bravo! You've EARNED your topicline mention in #tsc! -Grue
Heh, it took me a bit before I realized what song this was set to. Brilliant! -Seamus
Okay, I'm dumb...what song is this set to? -SillyGirl
"walking on sunshine" -EtherRabbit
I thought it went along to Walk like an Egyptian. -linuxmatt |
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497.
Subject: Ode to Old newbie
Old newbie is the bane of my working day.
this song is for you:
(sung to the tune of blues clues, sorry I have a young kid some things just get stuck in your head)
This is your last day-ay
This is your last day-ay
This is your last day-ay
And you don't even know yet.
(Repeat until hoarse.)
[By :drachen / 2008-03-13] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Why do I have the feeling there is more story here than the song implies. I'm lucky, my kids are past the BluesClues stage which means I can sing the Spongebob theme from memory. -Starfury
Saw the title and thought it was one of CorpCowboy's favorites - Old Hippie by the Bellamy Brothers... Hey CC - get working on that one! -VFox
Joe is no Steve... -TechOgre |
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496.
Subject: Call I.T.
Just a quick one for the morning...
(To the tune of "If You're Happy and you Know It")
If you need a new computer, call I.T.
If your network's running slowly, call I.T.
If your download speed is cruddy
And your monitor's all muddy
And you're vexed by Bonzi Buddy, call I.T.
[By :Dante668 / 2008-01-16] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
If your anti virus needs updating, call I.T. - If your crappy software keeps crashing, call I.T. - If your cursor won't move, and you mouse is all snafu'd, and you have a crappy 'tude, call I.T. -ecoli
If your personal laptop crashed, call I.T. If it locked down your network port, call I.T. If you blame others really smugly and your face is very fugly, if your PC's gotten sludgy CALL I.T.! -linuxmatt
If the toilet needs unblocking, call I.T. If your front door needs unlocking call I.T.
If the drinks machine needs stocking, and you can't stop monkey-shocking
If you need some serious mocking, CALL I.T. -Diptera
If you wanna move your cube then call IT, if your temperature's too cold then call IT, if your boss is really steaming, 'cause his p0rno isn't streaming, and you're ready to start screaming, call IT! -PTSTech
<raises hand> Ok, who else besides me sang along to all of those? C'mon! Fess up! -JoeLugian
I was singing to it I was doing it to the "happy together" beat. -Motient
Forum members don't answer in verse, post TSC - They inject remarks without rhyme, post TSC - If they've lost their sense of humor - And they fried the new computer - If their verse makes it worse, post TSC! (TA DA!) <takes a bow> -ecoli
The photocopier is buggered? Call I.T,
You want your coffee sugared? Call I.T,
Your office is too pokey
The sprinklers go soaky
& you smell the magic smoky, call I.T.! -lineswine
If you need a new mou-see, call I.T.
If there is a bug in the bathroom, call I.T.
If there is a computer to make
And a UPS to bake
And in the hallway is a snake, call I.T!
-PCChaos
ARGH! I'm going to have that tune stuck in my head all day. And yes, I did sing along...out loud...at work...in a call center. I'm getting strange looks. -Vaticus
Not to self, dont read songs when phone lines are busy, customers dont like it when I answer the phone giggling. -Silkfever |
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495.
Subject: When I'm Fixing Windows
This isn't my song, but I found it on the BBC News site (here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/technology/2008/01/bill_gates_you_asked_the_quest_1.html) as a comment on a blog and I had to post it. All credit goes to the original author.
Now I go fixing Windows
To earn an honest bob
For a computer whiz kid
It's an interestin' job
Now it's a job that just suits me
A Windows fixer you would be
If you saw what’s on this PC
When I’m fixing Windows
Windows XP, Vista too
You’ll have seen them nothing new.
You'd be surprised what PCs do
When I’m fixing Windows
In my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
To stop domination by Gates
Who tries to stay on top
The user dating on the Net
Looking for it you can bet
I'd rather have that than a pet
When I’m fixing Windows
The web designer has a thought
A new domain he has just bought
Sticks his USB in the port
When I’m fixing Windows
I know a fella, such a fool
He wastes his time, that's his rule
While he’s about he looks so cool
When I’m fixing Windows
In my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
To stop domination by Gates
Who tries to stay on top
DVDs lyin’ side by side
Sexy ladies I have spied
I've often seen what goes inside
When I’m fixing Windows
------ banjo ------
A famous screensaver’s been seen
It looks a flapper on the screen
It's more like flashing but it’s clean
When I’m fixing Windows
It pulls the clothes off down behind
Then pulls off her... never mind
It’s amazing what clutter I find
When I’m fixing Windows
In my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
To stop domination by Gates
Who tries to stay on top
An old maid’s profile goes online
She's so fed up, but that is fine
She's happy once she has seen mine
When I’m fixing Windows
When I’m fixing Windows...
[By :katinahat / 2008-01-07] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
If anyone wants to hear the original, you can find it here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfmAeijj5cM&feature=related -Fuji |
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494.
Subject: The OWA Before Christmas
(based loosely on IRC events, and even looser on 'the night before Christmas')
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the channel,
Not a member was stirring (OWA flew off the handle);
The bodies were stacked by the chimney with care,
And blood-stained knives lay around everywhere;
War1ock was first, whom OWA disemboweled,
As he cackled like the joker, an' hooted, an' howled;
Next up came Helix, who started to run,
Which knowing the OWA, just made it more fun;
Then Ether, and Happy, and Murdock, and Kat,
(The Rabbit deserved it, let's leave it at that);
He caught up to Virus, and ran N-A-V,
Which wetware nor not, 'twas the end of he;
Then enter the Half, and Splunge and Cog,
And 58 knives, and 1 bloody fog;
He turned his attention upon mister Swine,
A stab, and a slash, and a "Heh, EndOfLine";
Poor Mahal and Veinor, and ol' NR too,
They used to be mods, and now they're just goo;
What happened to Sauron was a frightful thing,
He ain't getting back up, he ain't getting his ring;
SysOp watched events, with hardly a care,
Just hoping that vodka, soon would be there;
He set his sights on SpitefulTech next,
And put to shame every good horror text;
Then Dread and PID1, and then MCV,
Oh the terrible things he did to those 3;
He eventually caught up, with good ol' Gashach,
Whom he covered in napalm, and then lit a match;
Up next came TrainButt, and poor SmellyStu,
HairTech escapes (but returns in part 2);
Then good ol' Grue came to break up the fight,
Which was about when, OWA switched to thermite;
There isn't much talk of that Christmas no more,
But PM the OWA...I'm sure he'll add more.
[By :EtherRabbit / 2007-12-29] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Has my stab of approval! -RandalGraves
AHA, that's the OWA we know and love :P -Mysty
*grins* *applause* -Grue
*snicker* Sorry I missed it... -RiffRaff
Yay vodka! (i'm printin' this out) -DedSysOp
Dammit! That's what I get for spending time with the DaWife & Kids... -Ulfgaard
"EndOfLine" is brilliant. -veaudaux
Glad I missed OWAs' latest slaughter-fest. Beautiful job PacketRabbit, you probably did deserve it too ;) -deskmonkey
is it warm in here? -gashach
verrah nice, and teh funnay! -HappyCrappy
OWA? 'Outlook Web Access'?!? <flees to LART Shelter> -CTYankee
LOL Very nice! Thats the OWA I know (Woot! Got mentioned even though I was away) -Caboose447 |
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493.
Subject: Talking to a Brain-Dead Idiot
Telephone rings, you aren’t listening,
You are lame, you ain’t glistening
A terrible fright,
On the phones tonight.
Talking to a brain-dead idiot.
Gone away is the bluebird,
Here to stay is a new bird
(The middle finger),
As I drone along,
Talking to a brain-dead idiot.
In the traffic I wish you would frolic,
Then get run over a thousand fold.
I'll say: I won’t miss you
No one else will.
And you can go to hell,
F***ing starfish.
Click on Start, on the taskbar,
Not the reset, on the tower
Get out of fdisk,
Or your files, you will miss,
Talking to a brain-dead idiot.
You over-clocked your Intel with a spare key
And neep and nop that your processor’s blown
Claim that it’s still under our warrantee,
But I will laugh so hard that I make brown.
You complain, I get migraines,
The whole time, I’ll be billing.
We'll frolic and play, the Otis-brand way,
Talking to a brain-dead idiot.
[By :linuxmatt / 2007-12-21] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Appropriate. I get to speak to only this sort of person at this time of year. It's the law! There are exceptions but they're few and far between! -Loon
Hehehehehe!!! Nice one! -MadJack |
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492.
Subject: In the Neep Midwinter
With apologies to Harold Darke, author of the original "In the bleak midwinter". Still, $midwinter_festive is nearly upon us, so raise a glass of your tipple of choice, and salute those TSC members that may have to work over the holiday.
In the neep midwinter, starfish calls made moan
Brains as dumb as iron , skulls as thick as stone
Woe befallen, woe on woe, woe on woe
In the neep midwinter, long ago
Oh god, we cannot kill them; murder must refrain
Sense and Reason flee away, passing through their brain
In the neep midwinter, our fun they try to douse
Saying "God Almighty", I NEED A MOUSE!
Enough for them, who have no clue, how they have fucked up,
A disk full of pron, and a film (two girls, one cup)
Enough for them, whom techies line up to beat-
their skulls in with Otis, for a LART so sweet.
Helpdesk and the admins, may have gathered there
LOLCATZ and BOFH-quotes thronged the air
But only the starfish, said "come take a look, "
"at the six hundred friends I've made on my Facebook."
What can I give them, bored as I am?
If I weren't so jaded, I would give a damn
If I were respected, I would give a toss
Yet what I give, is their worth: utter dross
[By :Diptera / 2007-12-19] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
bravo, well done -cyberblade3001
I bow in recognition of awesomeness. -Elfling
Very, very nice! -Seamyst
Excellent work, Diptera! -Tekkie
It has brownie points for featuring some excellent websites there :) (I couldn't get a rhyme for LOLCATS) -CommanderData |
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491.
Subject: Techie Xmas Poem
Christmas in IT is a funny old time
Yes I’m afraid this is gonna be in rhyme
We don’t put tinsel on the servers or balls on the PC
We might break for cookies and a nice cup of tea
No making the network play old Christmas songs
Nor snowball fights in LAN rooms, that’s just totally wrong
Getting drunk on whisky and singing rude rhymes?
Well we do do that, but not on company time
There are some bright lights on the Christmas tree
But seeing as we’re geeks, they’re all USB
No asking Santa for wishes or sitting on his knee
We would ask our managers, but they’re never quite free
So that’s the happy xmas and merry new year
Poetry time over, lets go get a beer
[By :CommanderData / 2007-12-19] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
but....but....what about the plum pudding, and the flaming brandy, and the fruitcake, and pin the tail on the celebrity, and....<gasps and expires> -CTYankee
Bravo, I like it! -Gunpe
Flips open cell phone in leu of lighter -thatgirl
CD, what are you doing in IT when you could be a poet? ... Oh yeah. Money. Well, maybe you can be both. <thumbs up> -TheGhost
I'm inspired! :D -FormerSithLord
I APPROVE HEARTILY SIRRAH :) (nice job CD) -TranceGemini
*applauds* Very nice! -Seamyst
Author! Author! (Flicking Zippo) -MadJack |
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489.
Subject: Format (A PC's Ode to Vista)
Format (A PC's Ode to Vista)
Origanal Song: Attack by 30 Seconds to Mars
I am suff'ring, been broken
No email, or photos
Nor chatting with friends, and
Won't give up what I
once had
nor try to
See from your point of view
But not this much software
'Cause I am just slowing down
Go away, Go away
I’ll Format
Go away, Go away
Go fix yourself
Go away, Go away
Now I’ll Format
I’ll Format, I’ll For-MAAAAAAAAAATTTTT
We could've work-ed together
But you had to sever
The network con-nec-tion is
Slower than a...
Kill off your process
It's starting to abcess
I'm losing control now
But without you I might just be fast
Go away, Go away
I’ll Format
Go away, Go away
Go fix yourself
Go away, Go away
Now I’ll Format
I’ll Format, I’ll For-MAAAAAAAAAATTTTT
Your promises
They look like lies
Your honesty’s
Like my back that hides your knife
I don't want you (don't want you)
I don't want you (don't want you)
I just want to be fast
Go away, Go away
I’ll Format
Go away, Go away
Go fix yourself
Go away, Go away
Now I’ll Format
I’ll Format, I’ll Format
I will Format
Go away
I'll Format, I will Format
Go away
I'll Format, I will Format
Go away, Go away
Now I'll Format, I'll Format
I'll For-MAAAAATTTTT
Your promises (promises, promises)
I don't want you (don'd want you)
I don't want you (don't want you, don't want you...)
[By :duckhead / 2007-10-26] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Nice run! I don't know the song but I like the message. *grin* -Darkridr
Very nice. Hadn't heard this one before, so I used YouTube for it's one truly useful purpose - locating the song. Here's the vid, for those who haven't heard it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7wCdsnqhyQ -missourimule |
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488.
Subject: No Motivation
(sung to the tune of "Infatuation" by Rod Stewart")
I'm showing my age on this one. (Be gentle, it's my first song and finally bought my star so I could format this correctly.)
Early on a Friday, I can’t wait
‘Til it’s time for my smoke break
I’ve been tired all day, can’t concentrate
Maybe I should have come in late.
Starfish call going “neep neep nop”
Wanting TPS reports that I ain’t got.
I just want to hit ‘em with my clue-by-four,
Flip the bird and walk out the door.
Oh no, not again
Another help ticket?
Don’t they understand?
No motivation…..
No motivation (shun-shun).
Management asking for another change
How many bad decisions can they make?
Better back off you bloody sods,
I’m gonna kill someone I swear to God
Oh no, not again
Where’d I put Otis?
Don’t they understand?
No motivation…..
No motivation (shun-shun).
5 o’clock is almost here,
Screw a nap just give me a beer.
The weekend’s here, not a moment too late,
Can’t wait to get home and master---um, watch TV…..
Oh no, not again
I feel a LART coming,
Don’t they understand?
No motivation…..
No motivation (shun-shun).
[By :BarmanVarn / 2007-10-26] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
/standing ovation WELL DONE!!! -TechnoTherapist
Nice one! -MadJack
LOVED THIS.... especially the line of "Can’t wait to get home and master---um, watch TV….. "... classic... truly classic... <waves lighter around - burns hand>
-duckhead
Fabulous! -ActingUpAgain
Hope it's just his _hand_ that Duckhead burned... <grin> especially considering the line he quoted. Well done! -chazz
AWESOME!!! the "watch TV" line got me. So much for that pepsi. -beerman
This was pretty good. Although I had to put a disc in the ole cupholder to recall how the tune goes. Yeah, I'm showing my age too, in that (1) I still have music on CDs and (2) one of them is Rod Stewart. -concept14 |
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487.
Subject: NT/OT a Snape Tribute -----SPOILERS
To the tune of "Isabel," a traditional Celtic tune
Severus
I lie on this floor bleeding my life out
And I don't give a pin for all their scorn
For my true love's son will live
For this my live I give
Give me the chance I'd do it all again.
Give me the chance I'd do it all again.
Lily my love you'd the heart of a dove
Only Hogwarts could train such a mind
On the wild mountain side
Despite Fortune's cruelest tide
My heart by yours until the end of time
My heart by yours until the end of time
The night you fell I sold them out for a price--
My promise to see your boy a man.
Your Harry dared it all
And he risked his mother's fall
Surely Dumbledore he had a plan.
Surely Dumbledore he had a plan.
At this Bannockburn Death Eaters' hearts will turn
From his noble and daring campaign
Yet I cannot help but fret
Though my heart flies with him yet
And my body now lies dead and disdained.
And my body now lies dead and disdained.
He's as bold as a lion, he's as clever as a snake
He's a man that could never be denied
He is Eagle-wise, Badger-strong
And he'll win the war so long
And just to know you'd know, I gladly die
And just to know you'd know, I gladly die.
[By :56Kdaytrader / 2007-10-21] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
That is brilliant! The original song is beautiful too - I've heard Steeleye Span sing it and it's a lovely haunting tune. Fits a treat. -Gromit
*shudder* I appreciate the sentiment, but when will you harry pothead fans learn that what you're inspired by is a childrens book, with no more substance than paris hilton.. </anti-potter flame> other than that, good work! :P -Tarantulus
A kid's book? Does that make it intrinsically without teaching value? Like, say, _The Hobbit_? Or _The Chronicles of Narnia_? Just asking... -chazz
If it wasn't for the comments made, I wouldn't have known it was about Harry Pothead at all. -Divinar
Nicely done and true to the story. -silvermoon |
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486.
Subject: On the Phones Again..
On the phones again (By Willie Nelson and MacDaddy)
On the phones again
I don't wanna get on the phones again
Neeping starfish and their problems never end
Oh I don't wanna get on the phones again
On the phones again
Stupid logic twisting in the wind
Hearing things that I don't wanna hear again
And I don't wanna get on the phones again
On the phones again
Like all techies on the InfoHighway
Where the logic ends
Insisting that the app should be working THEIR way
Not OUR way
On the phones again,
I just don't wanna get on the phones again
The life I love is coming quickly to an end
Oh I don't wanna get on the phones again
On the phones again
Putting idjits on the InfoHighway
Then the LART begins
And they wonder why they got punished our way
That's OUR way
On the phones again,
I just don't wanna get on the phones again
The sanity I had is coming quickly to an end
Oh I don't wanna get on the phones again
And here we are getting on the phones again
The sanity I had is coming quickly to an end
And I don't wanna get on the phones again
And I don't wanna get on the phones again
[By :MacDaddy / 2007-10-19] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Most excellent rendition!!! -Tekkie
/me Cranks his cowboy hat over his head and gies a hoot'n hollar! -Darkridr
Hmmm. There's Karaoke tonight over at Shay's Lounge... (real place name) -LoTech
Yeee-haww!! Nice one! -MadJack
Good job, MacDaddy. I saw Willy play years ago in Buffalo, and he was staggering drunk. He wrote some lyrics about that one, he did. -ThinTheHerd
Nice! I did one of this song a few years ago. It lends itself so well to parody :) -DarthLuke |
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485.
Subject: Not exactly a song, but kinda close kin
To celebrate my newly embiggened butt....
We who bear the burden of knowledge hear your cry, but are numb to it.
We have trained and supported and demonstrated and fixed and changed and updated and uploaded and installed and worked around to no avail.
We have defragged and uninstalled and degunked and rebooted and rebuilt and reformatted and removed spyware to the end of days.
We have lectured and asked and begged and cursed and wheedled and bargained and explained but our words fall on deaf ears.
We are Legion.
We are Tech Support.
Inspired by Tuesday's User Friendly
[By :grrltechie / 2007-10-17] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Since I evidently have forgotten the little html I used to know, the link is supposed to be http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20071016 -grrltechie
AMEN! Preach on, sister! -Acros
For those about to tech... we salute you -Tarantulus
We sa-LUTE you! *LART!* - We sa-LUTE you! *LART!* - Weeeeee Saluuuuuute YOOUU! -Divinar |
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484.
Subject: BLUE SCREENS AND SPAM
BLUE SCREENS AND SPAM
By EtherRabbit
That Tech-I-am!
That Tech-I-am!
I do not like
that Tech-I-am!
Do you like
blue screens and spam?
I do not like them,
Tech-I-am.
I do not like
blue screens and spam.
Would you like them
here or there?
I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
blue screens and spam.
I do not like them,
Tech-I-am.
Would you like them
in your cube?
Would you like them
in the nude?
I do not like them
in my cube.
I do not like them
in the nude.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like blue screens and spam.
I do not like them, Tech-I-am.
Would you like them
on a Mac?
Would you like them
through a hack?
Not on a Mac.
Not through a hack.
Not in my cube.
Not in the nude.
I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.
I would not like blue screens and spam.
I do not like them, Tech-I-am.
Would you? Could you?
In your car?
We've got wifi!
It reaches far.
I would not,
could not,
in my car.
You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
through RDP!
I would not, could not through RDP.
Not in my car! You let me be.
I do not like them on a Mac.
I do not like them through a hack.
I do not like them in my cube.
I do not like them in the nude.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like blue screens and spam.
I do not like them, Tech-I-am.
Some gain! Some gain!
Some gain! Some gain!
Could you, would you,
if we cranked the gain?
Not with better gain! Not with RDP!
Not in my car! Tech! Let me be!
I would not, could not, on a Mac.
I could not, would not, through a hack.
I will not like them in my cube.
I will not like them in the nude.
I will not like them here or there.
I will not like them anywhere.
I do not like blue screens and spam.
I do not like them, Tech-I-am.
Say!
How 'bout in a park?
There in the park!
Would you, could you, in the park?
I would not, could not,
in the park.
Would you, could you,
from your summer home in Spain?
I would not, could not, from home in Spain.
Not in the park. Not with better gain.
Not in my car. Not with RDP.
I do not like them, Tech, you see.
Not in your cube. Not on a Mac.
Not in the nude. Not with a hack.
I will not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
You do not like
blue screens and spam?
I do not
like them,
Tech-I-am.
Could you, would you,
with a raise?
I would not,
could not,
with a raise!
Would you, could you,
from home on sick days?
I could not, would not, on sick days.
I will not, will not, with a raise.
I will not like them off in Spain.
I will not like them with more gain.
Not in the park! Not through RDP!
Not in my car! You let me be!
I do not like them on a Mac.
I do not like them from a hack.
I will not like them in my cube.
I do not like them in the nude.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do not like
blue screens
and spam!
I do not like them,
Tech-I-am.
You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.
Tech!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.
(at this point the user gets pissed-off, and uses the blue-screens and spam as an excuse to take a 1 hour smoke break)
Say!
I like blue screens and spam!
I do! I like them, Tech-I-am!
And I would like them on sick days.
And I would like them with a raise...
And I will like them while in Spain.
And in the park. And with more gain.
And in my car. And through RDP.
They are so good, so good, you see!
So I will like them on a Mac.
And I will like them from a hack.
And I will like them in your cube.
And I will like them in the nude.
And I will like them here and there.
Say! I will like them ANYWHERE!
I do so like
blue screens and spam!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Tech-I-am!
* * * The moral of this story is, instead of bitching about the one or two things that takes a few seconds out of your life, look at the fifty-thousand other things that untold hours of I.T. overtime has let you do....or at the very least use it as an excuse to take a paid break. * * *
[By :EtherRabbit / 2007-10-17] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Wow, just fricking wow! This weekend's new project: teach this to my granddaughter. -Ramblin
Bravo PacketBunny, bravo! -Helix666
Definitely chuckle worthy and I think that one of my nephews may be learning that shortly! However, am I the only one that detects a slight Windows theme? -Loon
Aha, now THAT I enjoyed thoroughly. Lovely job :) -Mysty
That was freakin awesome! -ITNaziChick
I love Dr. Seuss, and I *will* be sharing that with the kids tomorrow. Thanks Etherabbit -katinahat
Did you steal this from marketing collateral for Windows Vista? :-) -concept14
That...was amazing. Having read Green Eggs and Ham to my preschool class no fewer than four times in the last week, I fuckin' APPLAUD you sir. Ma'am. Person-thing. Well anyway INTERNET COOKIES TO YOU. -TranceGemini
That is bloody beautiful! Take a bow, maestro. -DazZler
dude, how can i read the original to the small geeklets anymore - this one rocks:) -timelady
hehehehehe good one!! -MadJack
How totally not like green eggs and ham, thanks for that! -TieDyedDinosaur |
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482.
Subject: How CD does tech
Yes, I know it's poetry and not a song, farking bite me There was this young technician
Of near notorious fame
Noted for wearing long black cloaks
You might have guessed her name
One day she got an urgent call
‘Oh please help out’ they cried
‘Our diaries won’t print out right’
‘And the help files all are fried’
So off she went to the top Floor
All dressed up in her suit
Created whole new profiles
And waited for a reboot
And lo! The diaries printed out alright
Our technician felt less like a berk
But then came the dreaded cry
‘While yer here, our printers don’t work’
But if you want to know what happens
This saga hasn’t come to an end
Just don’t call our cloaked technician
She’s gone clear round the bend…..
[By :CommanderData / 2007-10-08] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
*clapping* butimus -compbrat
Huzzah! -BarmanVarn
Author! Author! (Flicks Zippo)
-MadJack
What's the appropriate way to show appreciate for poetry? Polite applause and a cup of tea? -smellystudent
I believe the correct response is to snap your fingers repeatedly, beat-nick style. -BarmanVarn
Give me the tea. -CommanderData
encore! -EtherRabbit
For appropriate responses to poetry, refer, if you will, to the poetry scenes in "So I Married an Axe Murderer." (eg) -MadJack
According to the reactions at my college's poetry readings, the appropriate reaction to poetry is applause and cheers, followed by a couple of smartass jokes. -Seamyst
bravo! bravo! -AdmiralLaurie
*ahem!* "Roses are red, violets are blue. That was very funny, and so..." ... Damn, I AM a lousy poet! :( :D :D :D -TheGhost
Seems to me, a golf clap, is most fitting. -Stryker One
Seeing as it was you, I covered the screen with my hand until I could set down my tea well away from the computer. -concept14
HA HA... my Dew missed the screen... oh damn... it landed on the keyboard.. <walks off to look for a paper towel> -duckhead |
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481.
Subject: New Model Army "Stupid Questions"
It's not a crime to be a moron
Some things you can't control
But you're in the real world now
A brain is most required
Well I know my techie heart
And I've seen your stupid brain
And I think we know the truth
You're thick not I
Don't claim ignorance, I know you
And you ask why I hate you so so much?
[Chorus]: Don't ever call me again I already know you're a fuckwit.
Well you're stupid as the rest of them
Your smile remains so vacant
When you attempt to eat me alive
I'll show you my teeth
If you really want I can name the starfish
Be an angel of LART at department games
[Chorus]: Don't ever call me again I already know you're a fuckwit.
Well I know you're stupid
I am not as thick as you
Grow up now - you're still daft
And I think that your clue
Is due to arrive at last
It's not a crime to be a moron
Some things you can't control
But you cannot hide forever
You may need a brain
Technology works, you just can't use it
Waiting for help to be a total muppet
[Chorus]: Don't ever call me again I already know you're a fuckwit.
[By :Loon / 2007-10-03] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Oh man... one of my grad classes is Stuart England (I'm a history student), and we've been talking about Parliament's New Model Army from the Great Civil War. TOTALLY confuzzled me when I read this post. -Seamyst
I love New Model Army. Just picked up some CD's off of ebay because it's so hard to get to my vinyl. I knew the tune immediately. Great song. -Paisley |
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480.
Subject: Fishy and The Tech
Fishy and The Tech
Based loosely on the theme-song for 'Pinky and The Brain'
They're Fishy and The Tech,
yes, Fishy and The Tech.
One knows computers,
the other's a pain in the neck.
They're both potentially nice,
but Fish needs his genes spliced.
They're Fishy, they're Fishy and The Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech,
Before each night is done,
'Techs work will be unfurled.
At the dawning of the sun,
the Fish screws up his world.
They're Fishy and The Tech,
Yes, Fishy and The Tech.
Their back-and-forth campaign,
Is easy to explain.
Each to prove their worth,
they'll have to change the Earth.
They're Fishy, they're Fishy and The Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech
Neep!
[By :EtherRabbit / 2007-09-28] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
excellent! -AdmiralLaurie
Thanks EtherRabbit, now I'm gonna have this stuck in my head all night! And my Chris is working from home so he has to listen to me singing it.....OOoooh, delightfully evil!
-taieena
Rofdl!! Nice one!
-MadJack
>>Golf Clap<< Very Niiiice -ShujinTribble
Narf! -MeanDean
Poit! -Seamus
Love it.."What are we gonna do tonight Tech?" "Same thing we do every night, try and take over the net" -udaduno
I alway felt Brain's problem was that he never listened to Yoda - "There is no try, only do!" -Captain Trips |
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479.
Subject: Rosin Smokescreen
To the tune of Double Vision.
Apologies to Foreigner. Blame unrenowned for this one (same link as the last one)
Getting down n dirty, into the machine
Tracing down a fault since it came onto the scene
It's time I had a short break, I need a caffeine drink
I wanna chuck this MoBo in the bathroom sink
Fill my eyes with that rosin smokescreen, no way to hide
from that rosin smokescreen
Ooh, when it wafts up to me, it makes it hard to see
That rosin smokescreen gets the best of me
Never do more than I really need
My finger's racing, but my gun in the bead
this trace's light, I'm gonna weld it in a minute
So it can handle a load with a 30 amp limit
Fill my eyes with that rosin smokescreen, no way to hide from that rosin smokescreen
Ooh, when it wafts up to me, it makes it hard to see
That rosin smokescreen always seems to get the best of me - the best of me, yeah
Ooh, rosin smokescreen, I need my rosin smokescreen
It takes me out of my head, takin me out of my head
I get my rosin smokescreen, oh, smelling rosin rosin
Oh, I have rosin smokescreen, yeah, Im getting rosin smokescreen... (to fade)
[By :maciarc / 2007-09-03] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
That is officially going into my list of all time favorite parodies... *BRAVO BRAVO!* -unrenowned
I love the smell of rosin-core solder in the morning! -Divinar
You must practice correct breathing. Breathe IN while lining up on solder target, hold while heating wire, breathe out while saying OMMMMMM and applying solder. Allow your thoughts to clear (and rosin smoke to dissipate). -TieDyedDinosaur
heh heh heh heh heh.... Very Nice! -MadJack
TDD - but then I wouldn't have the, um, inspiration to continue wiring every component I can find into one gigantic electronic thing, that sits there, blinking at me. I think it's trying to communicate.... -Divinar |
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478.
Subject: Subdivisions
Apologies to Rush. Oh, and blame Mushroom: http://www.techcomedy.com/single/single.php?content_number=69771
Crawling through the sectors of the HD
In cylindrical order
A data type re-order
Relegating old bytes
To the far unlit unknown
Buying up the ISO one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
From the market speaking drone
Nowhere is the hacker
Or the guru so alone
Subdivisions ---
In the MBR
From the CD-R
Linux will be passed out
Subdivisions ---
In the WiFi zones
In the laymen's homes
Windows will be cast out
Any escape might help redeem
That annoying blue screen
But Windows causes some to scream
An uncouth sailor's stream
Drawn like sheep they boot up the PC
The OS installation
The start-up hesitation
Waiting for the GUI
Just to browse the internet
Some will shirk the constricting grip of Bill G
And switch to GPL3
And control their PC
And start to see that software
Doesn't always have to crash
Sometime everyone will see
The monopoly as history...
[By :maciarc / 2007-09-03] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
WoooooooooHOOOOOOO----I wanna hear Working Man! -56Kdaytrader
Two Rush in a row!! W00T!! Damn, I keep forgetting about the idea I had awhile back out a Tech Song for 'Tom Sawyer'... -MadJack |
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476.
Subject: HTML Lessons - by Queen
Ok, FIRST off... Blame Dr. Jeckle ( http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=69757 )
Second... "Because it was there."
============================
HTML Lessons - as sung to 'We Will Rock You' by Queen
(With DEEPEST apologies to Freddie ($Deity_Do_We_Miss_You!) Mercury)
. . /
. . /
. . /
. . /
Buddy you're a young man. Really! If you try to
play Atari games you get FOUR whole bits!
You got egg on y'r face-.
You big dis-grace.
Some-body's beat your ass at "In-va-ders, SPACE!"
H - T - M - L - Lessons!
/ . . /
H - T - M - L - Lessons!
/ . . /
Buddy y'r a young man. Readin' all the XM
L codin' books. Don't know WHAT they mean.
You've got stars in your eyes....
a [DIV] in disguise.
Pretty soon y'll be askin', "Would you like some FRIES?"
H - T - M - L - Lessons!
/ . . /
H - T - M - L - Lessons!
/ . . /
Buddy y'r an old man. Pinin' for the good old
days of TABLES, ALT's and LYNX - don't know WHAT you mean!
Now y'r brain is fried.
Which standard to decide?!
"And you kids don't even know 'bout SCSI-II WIDE!"
H - T - M - L - Lessons!
/ . . /
H - T - M - L - Lessons!
/ . . / ev'rybody!
H - T - M - L - Lessons! ALRIGHT!
($Include_Guitar_Solo_WaveTable.mid)
Sweet geebus... WHY?!?! WHY did I do this!
[By :ShujinTribble / 2007-09-02] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Cause you're awesome, that's why. -Veinor
...yeah, that's about right. Veinor's got it. Best parody I've "heard" in a while. (K, I sang it out loud to myself. Why're you looking at me like that?) -PaseoGuy
I'm trying to not sing this to the tune of the sandskrit chant playing atm. roflmao! well done little fluffball! -AdmiralLaurie
Ok Shujin. I just had a talk with Mr. Mercury (his ghost). He says he's not decided whether to be insulted or delighted. He will decide on you punishment when he finishes laughing. ... That may be a while though... :D -TheGhost
Attention! Attention! Mr. Mercury has left the building! -RiffRaff
I'm ROFLing here, having the original song on repeat and humming along with your lyrics. Jesub, WHERE do you come up with these ideas????? {wipes his eyes} -NordicPT
Veinor / PaseoGuy / AdmiralLaurie / RiffRaff: Thank you kindly. Ghost: Makes me smile to hear that. Thanks. NordicPT: Actually, I was thiking about the origianl song and modeling it after. Most of us started with the Ataris, later tried to learn all the new crap now, only to wish for the old efficient and better tech from 'long ago'. -ShujinTribble
Did anyone else imagine Jake Stonebender pounding that solo out on Lady MacBeth? -TheCyberwolfe
You are the champion, my friend. -lineswine
ST: That would be because you could and did and it definitely got a chuckle from me. TheCyberwolfe: IIRC that would be a Callahan's reference? Been a few years since I read them and they were considered pretty obscure then! -Loon
I can actually picture (and hear) Fast Eddie on the ivories behind Jake for that one. -Grue
Author! Author!! (Holding up lit Zippo) -MadJack
Just relocated my copy of Callahan's Crazy Crosstime Bar (1st one and all I own) after earlier comments. ST: If you haven't already read it I suggest you do so. There are puns in there to make even you groan! TheCyberwolfe just had to remind me.... -Loon
I never have figured out what's wrong with tables. Especially considering all the hacks you have to do just to get a simple header, 2 columns, and a footer if you're just using DIVs. I'd never go back to <font> tags - but if an old method is actually easier, more reliable, and more flexible - well, why not? -veaudaux
ST First I'll gladly take the blame... Secondly: SUPERB! One of the bests tech parodies done so far! Ol' Freddie would for sure singalong up there in the skies where he's now (and not miss a tone :D)... -Dr Jerkyl
If you know Spider Robinson and the Callahan's books, but CAN'T hear Jake, Spider himself has sung a few of the songs from the series; clips can be found at http://www.spiderrobinson.com/music.html -- but I haven't vetted them yet and can't swear the excerpts aren't as NSFW as some of the whole things. $Diety knows I can't let my kid listen without having to explain a whole lot more about men and women than he's ready for, though he adores the puns. -lowlyte |
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475.
Subject: Theme Song For "The StarFish Family"
They're crazy and they're kooky,
A little slow and spooky,
They're always acting moody,
The StarFish Family.
Their PC is a nightmare,
Their people skills just ain't there,
They make techs pull out their hair,
The StarFish Family.
So get a pot of caff' on,
You know the call may be long,
Just try not to yell out 'kahn',
The Star-Fish Fa-mi-ly.
[By :EtherRabbit / 2007-08-17] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Song
Comments
Duh - Duh - Duh - Dut <snap> <snap>.... Loved the song!!!!! -duckhead
Watch out for straying 'hands'! -TieDyedDinosaur
Especially when Burkiss is around. -Seamyst
lolz! -MadJack
I've always liked Fester. ... ... Wait. That doesn't sound right... -TheGhost
Thing T. Thing. -ShujinTribble |
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