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7954.
That color ink grows on trees or that it is acceptable to print EVERYTHING on the $212/cartridge color printer because it's two steps closer to your desk than the black & white.
[By :SillyGirl / 2011-01-26] [Top]
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I have a manager who prints his E-mails to a nice color laser printer that is close to his desk. There is a perfectly good B&W high speed printer not too far away and cheaper to operate! -Shamus
These are the same people who will complain that the printer is SO SLOW... - DedSysOp
... or that they're spending way too much money on replacement toner cartridges and will expect you to produce a solution. -DazZler
The internal logic for these simpletons is this: It's a longer walk and therefore more effort to use the monochrome group printer than the color one and besides, I/my group isn't paying for the toners (support dept is) so why should I care? Saw this firsthand at one of the government environments I've been in (but I'm sure this happens to some extent at all of them). -BayouTech
...but WHYYYY can't I print on the closer printer? </typical Luser> -lineswine |
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7952.
That this is a joke...
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/01/24/it-help-desk-wheel-of-responses/
[By :SalParadise / 2011-01-26] [Top]
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Hell! I'm WAY beyond "passive" with my aggression. Boss has to keep all the bats under lock and key to keep me from killing people physically and all emails have to be proof-read to keep the level of snark at a non-fire-able minimum. But I DO LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!! -TubPorsche
I can confirm that TubP was once reprimanded for an unacceptable level of snark. He's my hero. -SalParadise
It's missing one: "Turn OFF your CapsLock" -unrenowned |
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7951.
That keeping the (company) USB digital internet stick to use on the other computers you have will allow me to figure out why it's not working on the Apple computer that you signed in for work. I'm not sure which to think is more idiotic, the customer or the person that accepted the computer in that way.
[By :spectreoflife / 2011-01-25] [Top]
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7950.
That I am a Swiss clock maker and must synchronize the analog face clock with our digital kronos system because nobody can get back from their break in a timely fashion.
[By :Captn92 / 2011-01-25] [Top]
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Comments
Tick tock tick tockticktockticktock. -Gerund
Will Harlequin repent? -lineswine
Put a higher volt power supply on it...suddenly that 30 minute break will be 10 minutes. -ravensentinel
Just put stickers below them that say 'Approximate Time Only' That's what they do here. -DarkRookie
Install one of these clocks http://gizmodo.com/5735995/become-an-office-hero-by-making-one-of-these-time+bending-lunch+lengthening-clocks that lengthen the lunch hour by speeding up and slowing down. -docbrown01 |
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7949.
That after I specifically come up and tell you to wait until I contact you, it's OK to still come up twice a day and ask if "your" equipment is ready.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-01-25] [Top]
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I do the same to the mechanic I have to go to all the time, and the chef at the restaurant, where I mysteriously get food poisoning. Can anyone tell me what 'pantsfood' means? -LDFeral
http://www.lfgcomic.com/page/179 ..I made you a wallet -DedSysOp
Give them an invoice for the cost of the computer and installed software, (no discounts, now!). When they ask what it is, tell them that if they want to own the computer, that you will present their request to the agency, but first, this little matter of money... -Voz
Gotta love Richard. -McSmiley
Well, if they're hot, you could say "I don't know, but MY equipment sure is if you have the time and place" -Enzedder |
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7948.
When I say I need to connect to your SERVER, I am really saying "any PC will do, including your laptop even when your are NOT in your office today". We technical people tend to be VERY precise in our usage of language for a reason. It is to communicate exactly what is needed!
[By :Wraith556 / 2011-01-25] [Top]
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Also, when something goes wrong with your computer, iPhone, dildo or car, it must mean that our server is down. Doesn't matter *what* server, or if the broken item doesn't even connect to a server of any kind, we will know exactly what you mean and will be able to fix it immediately. -modeski
I've got a user who insists that her tower PC is her "server." -Tekkie
"It is the great and all-knowing server! The server of all things! There is but one server! One server for everyone!" and it must be down. That's the problem. -MrsCheezil
I am a node of SERVER, born of flesh and blood, but enhanced by the power of
its web, I have no use for pain or fear. my scripts are a focus of my will, my strength is my knowledge, my weapons are my skills, information is the blood of my body, I am part of the greater network, I am host to the vast data of SERVER. my flesh is weak, But my connection is eternal, and therefore I am a god.
-Obsi |
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7946.
It is justified in any way, shape or form, to make a death threat against the poor sod who installed software on your machine. Even if he did something wrong and your data would have been lost, you only have yourself and your lack of backups to blame. Any content which is worth making death threats about is worth backing up.
[By :Fortytwo / 2011-01-23] [Top]
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My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my files, prepare to die! -AussieFoot
My name in Indigo Montoyota...You bleached my shorts...prepare to dye. -ChildofCthulhu
Back in '99 I had a guy call and report a down (local internet provider) and when I said I would send the tech out to our location in his town, he said he would be waiting with his shotgun. We had to call the cops. -MrsCheezil
Aqualung, my friend, don'tcha slide away uneasy, ya poor old sod... ;) -MadJack |
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7945.
If I'm passing your office, carrying a monitor, a keyboard and some random type of cable and looking rather busy it is not OK to stop me and tell me about your really small problem that I should solve "when I have time" just because you can only remember it when you see me.
Also, if you can't remember my name don't try to stop me my yelling "hey!" and snapping your fingers. You will be ignored.
It's things like this that turn 2-hour interventions into 4-hour ones and make me be home late and hate you.
[By :BusterDBK / 2011-01-22] [Top]
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I am not a dog, I do not respond to snaps or whistles. The polite way to get someone's attention if you cannot call them by name is "Excuse me." I can be patient with many things, but rudeness is not on the list. -linkv
I second linkv. Whenever someone tries whistling to get my attention, I ignore them as well. If they're dumb enough to ask "Why didn't you come when I called?" I simply point out "I didn't hear anyone speak, I just heard someone whistling for their Golden Retriever." and keep going. -udoshan
I've been known to look high & low for the dog they were whistling for, accompanied with "Here boy, here boy!"
After the stange looks subside, I CAUSTICALLY point out that whistling/clicking fingers is reserved for calling dogs & that MUST be what they were calling, right? -lineswine |
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7944.
Submitting nine tickets friday morning for six pc's and 3 printers not working in your area all at once is a bit naughty. Telling the tech who was worried that they all failed at once 'oh no, new year -new leaf - thought i should report all the problem kit from the last few months' is gonna get a sharp email to your boss. Then stating 'im gonna need some of them back on monday for the new starters' ( Normal 2 week lead time) ------Now why are you suprised when the IT manager appears at your office door with your Manager in reluctant tow to discuss 'Workplace expectations'?
[By :dadtaxi / 2011-01-21] [Top]
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Yep, had a customer contact us the other day to submit an RMA for 56 devices. He'd just been holding onto these handhelds until he had time, which happened to be the beginning of the year. It took me almost two hours to process the paperwork for that a$$hat. -CelticSkyhawk
"IT will have the items back to you in the same time it took you to report it in the first place." -Geminii |
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