18876.
Seen on the back of a T-shirt: "We get it up... we keep it up..." (note, the front of the shirt had the local firefighter crest and seemed to be a promotional shirt for a crane/something lifting company)
[By :spectreoflife / 2011-08-18] [Top]
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One of the shirts I have has this on the back: "I am a bomb disposal technician. If you see me running, try to keep up." -TheCyberwolfe
Cyberwolfe - I saw that on one of my instructors when I was in the OTC, and he really was one... -Holdfast
SHWING! -TieDyedDinosaur |
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18875.
Related to my "I Am Perfect Co-Worker Type" after one more round of everybody else is wrong, another co-worker said, "I am on medication today, can I go kick his ass?"
[By :LordObsidian / 2011-08-16] [Top]
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Fire at will! - lineswine
Update: Ass has been kicked, but not by one on medication. Cooler heads have prevailed. -LordObsidian
LS: What did Will do to you? ;-) -Grayhawk |
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18873.
"Special Thanks to K for becoming a Star Member Today!" - Agent K? Didn't know the MIB did tech support.
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-08-12] [Top]
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Comments
And we're going to ensure that it stays that way...[puts on sunglasses]...would you look over here please?...[FLASH!] -ChildofCthulhu
And we're going to insure...[puts on sunglasses]...that it stays that way. [YEAAAAHHHHHHH!] -PTSTech
Hey, man, I want one of those. -Captain Trips
That must be a really "Special K"! LOL 'grats! -EMTGeekGirl |
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18870.
After reseating a hard drive: Customer: "Ok, now they make blinky-blinky!"
[By :tech4alltrades / 2011-08-10] [Top]
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Comments
"Chef says you have to make sweet love down by the fire." -AmazingKreskin
"Does he make?" "...Make what?" "Make tinkle?" - Tales Of A Fourth-Grade Nothing -Seamus
Yeah, AmazingKreskin, but everyone knows elephant and pig DNA just don't splice! -TechieSidhe
(Er, that might have been Superfudge. It's been a *long* time.) -Seamus
Peter Frampton up in here signing those horrible things to the Childern! What?! -Harm
I makey the sexy time good. -burrkiss
*rummages through library, ah, yes, it was chapter five, Fudge's birthday party. The comment in question was made by Jenny, in reference to Dribble, Peter's turtle, just before she made tinkle on the rug. -AdmiralLaurie
Oh Gawd Seamus and Admiral you have just brought a whole bunch o' childhood memories back. 'S funny that a kid on the other side of the planet can still relate so much to stories about cities (oh and that town they moved to in Maine) that he had never seen, living in a block of flats etc etc -PoglaTheGrate
What, no Inky, Pokey, or Clyde? ;) -MadJack |
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18869.
A MePOTD: "And to which bar will $COMPANY have established a large tab after this rollout? Anything less than a few thousand dollars will be insufficient, as it will take more than the entire contents of a brewery to forget THIS ever happened."
[By :TechieSidhe / 2011-08-09] [Top]
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I feel there is a missing back story here. And interesting one at that. -ravensentinel
I recall an incident involving a science fiction convention, the Dorsai (Very) Irregulars, and a bar tab... a very, VERY large bar tab.
-VoiceOfSanity
It can't be that big a bar tab if you can remember it. Or was it on your expenses? -Holdfast
Sounds like the past year where I work - and make mine Tulamore Dew! (Man, that stuff's smooth....)
-Captain Trips
Yeah, it is a long story. It involves a mass changing of EVERYONE's employee numbers, and thus, their AD accounts. Half of our users can't remember their IDs NOW if you tattooed it backwards on their foreheads. -TechieSidhe |
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18865.
Actually two Business names: Mile High Pharmacy....and Cannabliss.
[By :vacuumtubes / 2011-08-03] [Top]
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I've probably driven passed one or both of those at some point. -Aelin236
Welcome to California, where I'm sure these are legitimate co-op names! (I use "Platinum Rx" myself...) -Captain Trips
sounds like BC.. or many many "smoke" shops that inhabit most downtown cores. -Harm |
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18864.
"I need to keep the hard drive bigness." - starfish who was insistent she keep the 2nd hard drive in her PC, which she uses to store CAD drawings and e-mail archives going back to the mid 90's
Oh yes, paging Burkiss!
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-08-02] [Top]
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Comments
<badly translated and dubbed pr0n film>Oh yes! I do needing the bigness in-side! Needful being in-side LONG time! -ChildofCthulhu
Badtranslator gives me, after 56 translations: "Development and accessories." using Google and "Ghost continues" using Bing -linuxmatt
Not commenting on the grammar, but our office keeps files back to 1998. Excel, PDF and DWG for the most part. -Transkaren |
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18863.
"Special Thanks to ecoli for becoming a Star Member Today!" (found that mildly amusing)
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-08-02] [Top]
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Are you commenting on how I have gotten my butt blown way out of proportion (stay away Burkiss)? -ecoli
Well he does like big butts and he cannot lie :) ::runs for the LART shelter:: -skippytpodar |
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18862.
CWPotD
I really hope the End User didn't just fart on the phone!
He did! He said excuse me! OMFG
o_O
[By : DarkRookie / 2011-08-01] [Top]
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If a customer farts on the phone to tech support, aside from the more pleasing tone, how do you know that isn't their normal speaking voice...aren't they full of #2 anyway? -ChildofCthulhu |
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18859.
I said this one
My hands smell of a weird combo of hand sanitizer, JB Weld and stale Pepsi.
[By : DarkRookie / 2011-07-28] [Top]
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Wait, what? Pepsi goes stale? -chazz
Chazz, Pepsi goes stale the second you open the bottle. Or at least that's how it tastes to me anyway. *And the Coke drinker dives for cover!* -Vie
It always seemed to me that both Coke and Pepsi taste the same after n days open as they do instantly after you pop the cap. I had assumed that "stale" meant that it had changed somehow over time... -chazz
always thought pop/soda went flat, not stale. Pardon me while I go toss my lunch as my brain insisted on trying to recreate exactly what that combo smelled like and while probably not accurate, it's pretty gross.... -frprinterwiz
I prefer Coke myself. I just find Pepsi too chemical tasting. But I only like it ice cold. Room temp or warm soda is icky. -TechieSidhe
For caffeine, coffee. For refreshment, beer. If I have no choice other than pepsi or coke, I generally drink root beer or iced tea. -chazz
Diet Coke ftw -- except in front of the hubby, who works for Pepsi. :P -TechMama |
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18858.
EU (clicks send on his email client and asks at the very same second) "Did you receive my email?"
I'm then always saying 'No, as this is email and not instant messaging.'
[By :TheLabAdmin / 2011-07-27] [Top]
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"Not yet... not yet... not yet... not yet... not yet... not yet... not yet..." -Voz |
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18856.
Luser to me:"I like to use my laptop in a remote location, is it sufficient to use a gas powered motor to charge the battery? What about solar panels ?"
[By :dustyhawk / 2011-07-27] [Top]
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umm... not an entirely stupid question. Thinkgeek does sell a solar panel and lithium battery combo that can feed a laptop... though I sure would not trust a gas generator with my delicate electronic stuff. -chazz
Like my car? I suspect we all have those handy 9v sockets. I have an inverter that converts to mains AC.It is fine for charging things but not so good with power tools! -Holdfast
It's a 12V socket, connected directly to the battery, in most cars. Some extremely old ones run on 6V... -Chromatix
Through a UPS or a power conditioner of some kind, I'd say. I did that once out on a farm. -LDFeral
Let's see; there is this: http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16882260004 then there is one of these: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/travelpower/e93c/ oh, and don't forget this if going mobile: http://www.ctsolar.com/backpackfoldingsolarpanels.aspx -unrenowned
in an additional note, person above wants to use it in a forest in India. -dustyhawk
Well, it's either that, or one freak-a$$ long extension cord! -Voz |
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18854.
"Ohm's law is in a tree." Short backstory: We instruct basic electronics. Ohm's Law is one of the lesson's. The font file was missing from the computers that had the Ohm symbol in it and the software was useing a tree-like symbol utterly confuseing those students that were straight out of high school.
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-07-26] [Top]
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Why not just select another font that has Greek letters? "The Ohm Symbol" is also known as "omega" -Captain Trips
ok so we have Ohm's law, Kirchhoff's voltage and current laws, Murphey's law and even the law of gravity. Ever heard of Cole's law? -atomicbill
Ok so actually Cole's Law is just thin sliced cabbage with some dressing. -atomicbill
Captain - because the font file has more than just that symbol in it. There's a lot of others for other mathmatical formulea....I am assumeing they just wanted all the fonts in one file. -ravensentinel
Me, I swear by Hanlon's Razor, myself... but that doesn't quite apply here. -chazz
How about Murphy Slaw - any salad that can go bad will go bad. (runs for the LART shelter) -ecoli
My response to Occam's Razor is, "The simplest theory is the simplest theory, no more, no less." -Omega |
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18853.
Co-worker NOTD: Hee Hoo Khoo
[By :tech4alltrades / 2011-07-26] [Top]
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Comments
Please press 5 for Gibberish -Spyder19
"I'll take 'Things People Say While High On Psilocybin' for fifty, Alex." -MeanDean
Now imagine Derek Jacoby saying that and you have the Nightgarden! *Shiver* (For those who don't know it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SynWcnvqF30&feature=related Be aware that LSD is required to understand this.) -Vie |
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18852.
"I just got two {walkietalkies}. Will they reach from here in the US to the exotic forests of frahn-say? My wife gets lost a lot and her phone doesn't work out there."
Let me give you the number for our 2-way radio support...
[By :linuxmatt / 2011-07-23] [Top]
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I think thats called a ham radio with a big @#%^@#ing transmitter/antenna. -burrkiss
You can use an HT while in the US to talk to someone with an HT in France. You would need Echolink linked repeaters on both ends but it sure is possible. 73 de K0ECW. -Bioguy
Get the girl a satphone. http://www.satellitephonestore.com/ -unrenowned |
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18851.
"Could you please remove your tentacles from my pc oh great sith lord." This from a user who i was helping via glance.
[By :deedadee / 2011-07-22] [Top]
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Uh oh, I channeled you know who... I read that as "testicles." -CyBear
uh, what is glance? Google said it was a demo program for sales droids. -beatmewithstick
but how did you?!? ohh.. tenTIcals.. oh yes.. well haha! -Harm
Beatmewithastick: http://www.glance.net/Remote_Support.asp -Gromit |
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18848.
MePoTD: Like spandex, going out in public in your pajamas is a privilege, not a right. *shudders*
[By :spectreoflife / 2011-07-22] [Top]
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yea,,, but in many univertity towns ( like Kingston or peterbourough) its gonna happen - specially around exam time. the secret is to apply a over developed mental filter system. those that really shouldn't be waering their " PJ's" can be mentallly painted into jeans and a shirt.. or into winter attiere depending on the time of year. (personally i stick to coheisive footgear / dress code) -Harm |
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18845.
You know you missed an interesting conversation between two women when you overhear the closing line, "And that's the complete anal lubrication." o.O
[By :SwedishChef / 2011-07-20] [Top]
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thats a disgusting story. *spits* -burrkiss
Blink, blink... blink... come again? -Harm
Hmmm, I always thought Burrkiss would be a swallower. -SalParadise
Am I the only one that understood Burrkiss' joke? Should I be scared that I understood it?! -unrenowned
Apparently. I can only imagine a few reasons you would need to lube a Burkiss. -ravensentinel
Why do I see a fully equipped medical lab in a nice, suburban neighborhood? I hear there's a basement too. -AngrySup |
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18842.
"Did you know 'Charter' spelled backwards is Al Qaeda?"
[By :linuxmatt / 2011-07-20] [Top]
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Comments
retrahc? Sounds like something Scooby Doo would say. -Gerund
Trafalgar Day always makes me smile - if you spell it backwards it comes out raglafart. -Gromit
A friend of mine once pointed out that "Finsbury Park" backwards is best pronounced "Crappy rub sniff" -Diptera
"SILENCE! I weel KEEL you!!"
-vacuumtubes
"I think he did a little too much lds in the sixties"... st quote -AdmiralLaurie
Hey, LadyL likes Donny Osmond! Leave that there Moron Church be!
-lineswine
In south east Victoria, Aust, there's a town called Trafalgar, the locals there refer to it as 'Traf', non-locals refer to it as raglafart, or, just simply, fart. -DazZler
Daz: lolz! I can imagine the answers when someone asks "Ya goin' ta Fart, mate?" -MadJack
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. -AngrySup
Resume so pacific a pose, muser -PoglaTheGrate
Sex at noon taxes -PoglaTheGrate |
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18840.
Questions I Am Not Qualified To Answer, #235: "I found earwax in my nose. Is that bad?"
[By :Dante668 / 2011-07-19] [Top]
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I think we are all wary of asking how it got there... -Holdfast
Maybe I'm a Gloomy Gus, or just mean, but I would have asked if he wasn't sure it was spinal/cerebral fluid. Y'know, with a faux concerned expression? -LDFeral
"Depends, which hole did you think you were picking?" -ravensentinel
So long as it's not belly button lint! -jerrybear
You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. You CAN'T pick your friend's nose. -AngrySup
And if you can, AngrySup, it kinda redefines the word, "friend"! -Voz |
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18839.
(CWPOTD while explaining why the default settings are easier) "Let's say you change your network name to Snickers, and a power outage or something causes the gateway to reset. If that happens, Snickers is gone."
[By :linuxmatt / 2011-07-19] [Top]
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"Not going anywhere for a while?" -AmazingKreskin |
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18838.
"How can (product that is showing a manufacture date of almost 3 years ago) be out of warranty? I just got it today and it's your latest model, right?" (odd, he didn't want to fax us the reciept)
[By :linuxmatt / 2011-07-19] [Top]
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Executive Veto! I refuse to accept your reality! -unrenowned
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." -Captain Trips |
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18837.
Over heard at a Rent-a-Car place, Agent: How long do you plan to keep this car? Customer: About 15 days. Agent: Your insurance will pay $30 a day, but you will have to pay the difference, that is $15 a day. Customer: That will be $175 total. I am an accountant for the IRS.
[By :LordObsidian / 2011-07-18] [Top]
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DEAL! -Stryker One
as long as I get a bigger return he can audit me any day. -burrkiss |
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18834.
This one needs to go up there with "Sh*t by boss says": "So if your done pulling out..." (this being yelled down a hallway...a school hallway. Much giggleing was heard but not sure from where...backstory: we were running cable and he was guideing it around a corner)
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-07-12] [Top]
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18832.
Me-Phrase of the Day: "If you want to lose your faith in humanity, do tech support." My sister called me because she had been trying to figure out how to add a friend in Facebook. I wasn't that familiar with it since I don't have every webpage memorized and it's been a while since I did it. I opened up the webpage, clicked "Find Friend", then "Add Friend". 2 clicks! That's all! It took her 15 minutes on the phone and she still couldn't figure it out. It was easier and faster for me to drive 30 minutes to her place and click twice (a whole 6 seconds) and drive home again.
[By :MisterCommon / 2011-07-09] [Top]
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So that's two clicks per gallon of gas or two clicks per hour. Which one sounds worse? -concept14
and now you will have to do it EVERY time. You got suckered in. -ecoli
If she asks again, tell her to sign up for GoToMyPC or something. :) -TechMama
This time, $8, the next $16, the next $32 etc. they'll soon give it the old heave-ho or be very, very skint. Step three...profit! -lineswine |
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18831.
More of a Microsoft Error message of the day:
"The Service Control Manager could not start $service. The failure code was: The operation completed successfully (085)." Only in Redmond does a successful completion of an operation merit a failure code.
[By :tech4alltrades / 2011-07-09] [Top]
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I haven't seen that error in ages! Ah, it warms my heart. -Seamus
As a programmer, I've seen that happen FAR too many times and not just with MS products. It's usually the result of a programmer failing to set a return code on function exit. Of course, it's also a sign the developer never frickin' unit tested their code. Lazy, sloppy bastard!! -virtualchoirboy
Speaking as a programmer, in this case it seems that the error number returned (apparently 85) was an unexpected success code. Although failing to set a return value from a function can have that same effect... -chazz
To put it concisely...M$ ballsed it up AGAIN. -lineswine |
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