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2523. Subject: George Has A Doppleganger
...and she's in Thailand: **Dear PTSTech, Today the our IT double checked the my laptop already. Becuase the website that I have been opened the lock to keep the old information. So the our IT upload the Filezilla to access site. I have tried to follow your information already and much easier. Thank you very much and glad to work with you :) Have a nice week end. Best regards, EU.**
[By :PTSTech / 2011-09-23] [Top]
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  • Well, they say that everyone in the world has a twin somewhere...Either that, or George is the "North" stupid pole in this hemisphere, and she's the "South" pole. If they get too close to each other, it throws the whole world out of it's orbit. (damn, too much coffee this morning...) -docbrown01
  • North? South? I think George is at the East pole :) -Diptera
  • I'm sorry, but my Babelfish just decided to jump out of my ear and go straight for the nearest pirhana, yelling "eat me, eat me!" -Captain Trips
  • Somebody set up us th' fucknugget... -vacuumtubes
  • 2522. Subject: HELP - doesn't work
    The subject line of this post was the subject line of the email....there was no body, she had no ticket either. Help!
    [By : shadedworld / 2011-09-19] [Top]
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  • Reply "Could not replicate fault 'doesn't work' Ticket closed. Suggest providing greater detail next time." -flapjackboy
  • "Try pressing F1." -Captain Trips
  • Works fine for me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s-F7ZmmGbY&feature=related -VIPERsssss
  • Reply "Yes it does." then wait for the whinging. -Gromit
  • and related to that: the customer email that read only "It isn't working." No details given, not even what It is. -GrizzledBear
  • *Forwards all viagra spam to senders email address.* -Harm
  • obligatory random response: Did you try turning it off and on again? -MisterCommon
  • 2521. Subject: RE: Thanks for the help!
    This will happen to you: http://work.failblog.org/2011/09/09/job-fails-why-it-guys-go-crazy/
    [By :ravensentinel / 2011-09-12] [Top]
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    2520. Subject: End of Employment
    The following e-mail conversation took place today between a client and a support tech. EU: $OtherEU has resigned as of today can we shut down his access to computers ASAP // Tech: This has been completed. // EU: What about his vip on his lap top will he be able to do anything with that? // Tech: Do you mean VPN access? // EU: Yes
    [By :CaliTech / 2011-08-22] [Top]
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  • current status: vup -stiffarm
  • What about his VIN status? (That's what all our users call it, and I don't give a flying fuck about their cars!) -Captain Trips
  • His VPN has been PNG'ed. ;) -MadJack
  • I have one guy who constantly refers to CSVs as CVSs. My eyes turn red each time as I strive to not make some random drugstore comment. -blurp
  • 2519. Subject: Attn. psychic IT support...

    (Actually an MMS received by email - no signature, no subject and a mobile number I didn't recognise) "Can you tell me password for wifi at home please"

    I located the number in my customer database, checked my records, found the customer was an idiot and replied "No, sorry - the crystal ball interface is down at present. Suggest you either give me some clue as to who you are and where you are, or (preferably) CALL ME."

    I haven't had a callback yet....

    [By : Gromit / 2011-07-28] [Top]
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  • FLAWLESS LART! -Harm
  • That's because the texter was actually his 15-year-old son, trying to get a borrowed laptop snuck onto the wireless so he could view pr0n without his parents finding out. :P -TechMama
  • 2518. Subject: sometimes not receiving email from...
    ...some domain. I love it when customers are as precise as this. I receive at least once a week a ticket with this or a similar subject...
    [By :TheLabAdmin / 2011-07-27] [Top]
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    Comments

  • "Something happened." Yeah, that's descriptive... I have had to field more calls with "Something broke" as the sole description... though that's better than one of my co-workers who was supporting hardened electronics gear for the oil patch. He told me that at least one piece of equipment came back with the one-word note "F*cked"... Oh, and welcome to TSC. LART shelter to the left, watch out for the Burrkiss... -chazz
  • something broke? something fixed. Ticket closed. -madonnac
  • @Chazz. At my last place there was a list of POST codes hung up, listing the two-digit code and a description of the failure. On the bottom someone had added in pencil "FF F*cking F*cked" -rurwin
  • I had this call yesterday. "Yeah, something about it failed?" (When I know on this piece of equipment, the word "failed" is not even used.) When I asked for the exact error message, I got a huffed, "I am dealing with customers. I don't have time for keeping track of error messages." I had to really hold myself back from responding, "Then I have no time to try and help you." -MrsCheezil
  • 2517. Subject: prob w/files from Julie
    [$User] got assistance from someone at [$MyCompany] to send me her Word & Excel files in a zip file. The Word documents are fine but all of the Excel files open as above - nothing but letters & symbols. Is there something I can do to be able to see these Excel files? I really need the spreadsheets she created. // <Screenshot showing a title bar that reads "filename.xls - Microsoft Word">
    [By :CaliTech / 2011-07-22] [Top]
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  • Note: The technician's solution notes showed that it was, in fact, the user who was attempting to open the .xls spreadsheet in word. At least this was a nice, reasonable user who responds well to corrections to PEBCAK errors. -CaliTech
  • Wow...I used to have "problems with Julie" at my [Job -1]. I am so glad I no longer have to deal with her... -Griffin2020
  • 2516. Subject: Is email down
    ?
    [By :virusjtg / 2011-07-15] [Top]
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    Comments

  • The level of dumb assery this represents is truly epic... -virusjtg
  • Response via email? "YES" -ecoli
  • Old CDW commercial: "Hey, Fred - did you get my e-mail about the e-mail being down?" -Captain Trips
  • @ecoli, that would be too hillarious to be allowed :) -Fortytwo
  • Ignore the message, then try to find out if that co-irker emailed or phoned email support. -BurlyJ
  • They emailed, me, I AM email support. -virusjtg
  • This is primerally due to a depression in American markets and the debt crisis in Europe. Once tomorow's Asian market figures come in then EMAIL should regain some of its losses. -Vie
  • 2515. Subject: laptop for home use
    My husband asked me to ask you whether the laptop will have wireless capability with a wireless rotor from our T*** W***** cable modem?
    [By :redevil34 / 2011-07-06] [Top]
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  • "All our rotors are wireless, otherwise they'd get all tangled up." -AmazingKreskin
  • OH GAWD!!! *flashbacks to TW support years* -Harm
  • <da> Well, they could be having a TV flashback. In the days before cable, when all the houses here in Sandy Eggo had 40-foot masts for their antennae, rotors were commonly used to remotely aim the antenna at various transmitters throughout SoCal. (Could tune in Santa Barbara -- and on one good day, I actually found a UHF station in Boise, Idaho! Kind of like ham-radio hunting on a regular TV.) </da> -Captain Trips
  • Capt Trips - I'll grant you that one b/c they are old enough. OTOH, she wouldn't know the difference if she was looking at them. -redevil34
  • Only if it's a Linsky rotor. -MisterCommon
  • 2514. Subject: RE: Where's my Abacus at???
    That was it.
    [By :ravensentinel / 2011-06-30] [Top]
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    Comments

  • ...aaaaand that makes no sense this end, how about anyone else? -lineswine
  • Hey, no viruses, malware, or blue screens, zero carbon footprint.... Maybe they're on to something there. -Stryker One
  • I think just knowing how to use one already makes a person a geek -- having one on top of that = super geek! (Now, where did I put mine again?) -TechMama
  • 2513. Subject: Source IP from a SPAM email
    your.dns.is.shafted.if.you.cant.resolve.me.uk
    [By :redevil34 / 2011-06-29] [Top]
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  • I don't think I'll try. -Holdfast
  • I do believe the work DNS is shafted -DarkRookie
  • OpenDNS reports NXDOMAIN. -linuxmatt
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