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8141.
Actually my boss's misconception.
1) When you reply to a situation that is beyond my control, in this case a broken part I dont have stock of, with "I thaught you were bright", do expect me to reply, "I am bright, I just dont have a manufacturing plant behind me."
2) Also, when you ask for me to develop a program to track everyone's current location in the facility, dont be surprised when I suggest adding GPS tracking device to augment the program.
3) And when you suggest selling it to the DM\company, dont expect me to die inside since you insisted it be developed on company time, with company resources. However you have shown the extend of your knowledge in regards to patent law.
[By :OldScratch / 2011-12-16] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments 1) My usual answer to such is that I don't have a latex glove that long with me. 2) I suggest GPS on ear tags like they use for cattle. 3) A punch in the gob might be the correct response for that one. -ChildofCthulhu Nah - for "gob" read "nuts". - Gromit So... he'd essentially sell their own product back to them? What a moran. -TaliPhoenix I cut a top-hat in half and glued it to the front of my office door with a sign "IT has granted global access to our magic hat. If you need something, please reach in and pull it out." Sadly HR got pissed and made me take it down. -LazyLemming LL: HR have no sense of humour, so they? (Unlss it happens to be at review time, then the joke is most definitely on us...) -lineswine |
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8140.
Your desire to have the computer on the floor in a registered and marked fire egress lane, which violates OSHA rules, Joint Commission regulations, and several other regulations to boot, overrides my employer's desire not to get written up for said violation the next time an inspection comes through.
If you persist in neeping at me, I will gladly send you to $frontOffice so you can explain to them how having an extra square foot or two of desk space is more important then keeping our accreditation, and by extension, our jobs.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-12-15] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Set the luser on fire and have them trampled in the resulting evacuation. Sometimes, you just have to be cruel to be kind^Wamusing. -aeddan If they have a flat screen, put the computer behind their monitor. -Wraith556 Cable-tie their computer to the grid of the suspended ceiling. It's up out of the exit path, and all is right with the world. The sane part of the world, anyway... - Voz To Voz I add: right over her chair. (Think of it as evolution in action.) -Captain Trips |
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8136.
More of a roomate misconception- Just because the landlord sends me a text telling me that your dog can no longer be chained in either the front or back yard, which is unnessecary anyway since we a 6 high ft fence as well as a very large backyard, that I am controlling you. Also, please do threaten to move out in two weeks, I already pay for everything you broke dumbass, it just means that I can turn your room in a laboratory, and your other room into a game/guest room, while you try to find another place that will take you and your pitbulls. Enough ranting.
[By :OldScratch / 2011-11-14] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Next time roomy threatens to move out, tell them "not a problem". -unrenowned Screw that. Kick 'em out now. -charred |
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8135.
Coffee is just coffee; Coffee is like fuel, graded for performance. For preference: http://www.bluemountaincoffee.com/ . Keep your techs happy, and they'll stop taking it out on your systems.
[By :LDFeral / 2011-11-14] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Seriously not an ad, I'm just continually stoked to find this stuff after searching fruitlessly around the City for years. -LDFeral Speaking just for myself, coffee is a beverage that I cannot stand drinking. I never acquired a taste for coffee, or anything coffee related (java ice cream, for example.) My caffeine has to be provided with carbonation, like Dr. Pepper.
-VoiceOfSanity I'm with VoS. I can't stand the smell of coffee, let alone the taste. Makes me nauseous. -Divinar Ah, Jamaican Blue Mountain. The coffee of Presidents. ;)
- MadJack I am also w/VoS. I love the scent of coffee, I cannot stand the flavor, not even as an additive. :( Mt Dew is my caffeine of choice, but I am not real picky when it comes to cold carbonated caffeine...hell it doesn't even have to be cold -Madrigorne One day, you may just discover why CommanderData loves tea so much. (So do I, for that matter.) -lineswine |
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8133.
Cable company misconception: it's perfectly ok to repeatedly call me with promotional calls, even after I've asked you twice, nicely to stop and remove my number from your database. I don't care if I have service with you, that doesn't make it right! Furthermore, you tell me that you've upgraded me for the same price I'm paying so that now I supposedly have the rr standard, but I still get the same bad speeds and dropouts. No wonder it's often called crime warner. B@st@rds.....
[By :AdmiralLaurie / 2011-11-08] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Complain about being promo/cold called; either they have it on file, in which case they should give you something for not going away/breaking agreement, or they don't, and they should give you something because they haven't documented it, and kept bothering you. That's how I rolled. <suggestive eyebrow waggling> -LDFeral I would suggest handling the bad speeds/ dropouts problem like this: Do a tech call, explain that you have an on-going issue that other techs have not been able to fix, and that you want an actual RR tech to work on it, not a contractor. Most companies providing this service use contractor techs who are not paid the same way as the company techs and therefore do not have the same work ethic. Personally, I'm wondering if you have the older, relatively thin RG-59 cable somewhere in your setup. Modern installations (and this includes U*Verse and satellite dishes) use RG-6Q (thicker, quad shield) cable at every point because it is strong enough to carry the larger, two way communication signals that modems and better set-top boxes require. -BayouTech I work for them and there is a little box called Privacy in the profile tab on CSG. Just let the rep know that you want that box ticked so you will not get any more marketing calls.
If you live in Texas I could do it for you. Otherwise, any rep should be able to help. Regarding the tech problem, BayouTech is right. -buitre It is also highly recommended that the wiring be a two way splitter with 1 leg to your modem, the other is to your tv's so a threeway, fourway, eightway with/without a amp whatever is needed. (10 years fixing peoples cable shit) -burrkiss |
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8132.
That the bathroom is a good place to ask technical questions...about your personal PC....that you let you kid on....and now it has pop ups...and I have a hangover. Being nice is not a requirement in this situation.
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-11-08] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Keep a latex glove handy when you go. When they start in, hand them the glove and inform them that there's something that you want them to look at and let you know if it's a funny color or inflamed or whatnot...If warranted, continue to drop trou and bend over. Either they leave or you have found a new friend. Win-Win! -ChildofCthulhu I've already run through six nsfw scenarios that I just couldn't find the heart to post. <note to self - stop surfing so much pron.> -AngrySup The heart is typically in the upper-left portion of the ribcage; I've found the best path to get there is an upward motion starting from the navel. :) -TheCyberwolfe the Trouble with Tribbles -Harm "Those pop-ups only come from hardcore gay websites. You should talk to your kid." -VIPERsssss <appears over the top of the stall wall with suggestive music playing in the background>Did someone say....'Pop-ups'? Cause I can help you with that...<flashes out a poster of Kathy Bates from 'About Schmidt' in eth hottub scene.> -ChildofCthulhu |
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8131.
It is perfectly OK to rant & rave to our support queue about how you hated spending all day today trying to save a dead RAID array when I spent two hours overtime last night trying to fix it and determined that the array was beyond saving, and furthermore, you told me the data was backed up and you've told me you are perfectly OK with building a new array. Yeah, go back to square one dude. Especially when you wasted more time ranting than building the new array and restoring from backup would have taken.
[By :tech4alltrades / 2011-11-08] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
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8130.
Co-worker misconception: That i won't notice you're trying to illicitly pad your stats when you've taken a hardware repair ticket for my location when you're physically located halfway across the country.
[By :metaball / 2011-11-07] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Now that takes balls. - Stryker One "I'm fixing things... With my miiiinnndd!!" -MeanDean I do believe that the O in LOIC is for orbit. Might take awhile, but I will get the shot lined up again. - DarkRookie Update the ticket and say that you're express couriering the repair to him and expect it fixed and returned in under 48 hours :) -spectreoflife |
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8129.
Changing the screen resolution to one tick below recommended, so that every picture is misproportioned and all text looks horribly kerned and blurry, makes it "easier to see".
[By :Mer / 2011-11-02] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments I used to hate people who used anything below native resolution. Just as I was getting to accept that, widescreen monitors started being deployed, so now I get annoyed at people who choose any resolution that makes things 'squished' vertically.. how can anybody stand that?? -NightSteel On a side note, once you've used 2560x1440, it's really hard to go back to 1280x1024. - Stryker One I think you will hate me. Being visually impaired, there is quite an amount of screens I used at completely unsuitable resolutions for anyone but me (stupid windows no longer allows me to use 640x480 as resolution). -Fortytwo Ditto. In a lot of cases the native resolution is so high that unless the user has absolute 20/20 vision they have to reduce it. Anyone above the age of 40 is likely to be in that category. - Gromit Not me Gromit. I am 51 and use glasses to read. Sub-optimal resolution gives me a headache. I would like to set the only allowed resolutions to be "native" and 640*480. If they want blurred and out of focus, they can have it done properly! -Holdfast See, that is the reason why I think that flatscreens were a big mistake. They dosplay low resolutions very awkwardly. No CRT I had did. -Fortytwo This is one of my pet peeves. I give a user a brand new 22" widescreen LCD with a 1680x1050 res and they immediately ask me "Why are the words so small? I can't see them! Waahhh!" And I have to take this beautiful screen and make it display 1024x768 because that is what their last 17" LCD was set to.. I hate people... -JoeLugian If i watch movies on my laptop I have to drop the resolution as otherwise it causes bluescreens. -Olorin Win7 has taken a step in the right direction as far as divorcing the size of UI elements from the screen resolution, but it's still not perfect. On my living room TV, native res is 1920x1080, which is just enough to make text in browser & Explorer windows unreadable when I'm sitting back on my couch. I tried changing the text size in Display options, and that worked; the only problem with that is that it seriously interferes with ObjectDock's "Reserve top of Screen" option, which prevents windows from being maximized over (or behind) the dock. In the end I switched it all back and set the browser zoom up a few ticks. -AmazingKreskin I don't have any problem with people who genuinely need to reduce the resolution to see. (That'd be silly) But one tick down, from 1920x1200 to 1680x1050? That only makes it harder to read!! -Mer A few years ago, I remember rolling out new systems with bigger screens. Someone complained that stuff was too small. I got a ruler and measured the size of an object on her old PC and the new one. They were identical! It was just the additional space round making things seem smaller to some people. I was informed that my ruler was faulty! I left her with 800*600. -Holdfast On Windows7 systems, CTRL + (plus) will make your intarwebz larger. Just a thought. - lineswine The Control + cheat already worked in Netscape 3.x but still it is not really a solution since the rest is not made bigger via that (like the interface). Also, even the native resolution makes things unreadable with most OSes insistance on anti-aliasing often even including the subpixel 'optimisation' which causes colored seams around each word. -Fortytwo |
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8127.
Boss Misconception When I am on Vacation I will respond to e-mails asking me to do things at work. Just because you gave me an iPhone to carry around doesn't mean that I'm going to respond to any messages you send. It's one of the reasons I'm an hourly employee and don't work when I'm not there.
[By :Starfury / 2011-10-31] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments You actually took it WITH you on vacation? - Stryker One I'm at home on vacation...wife is in Mexico and I'm here with the kids. And since all I have is a flip phone, I use the work iPhone for personal use...and just happened to look at the pile of mail in my inbox. Now the phone is off and tossed in my work laptop bag. - Starfury Staycation! -AmazingKreskin nothing wrong with stay cations.. best relaxing times i've had have been by my onse in my own house. and a week to catch up on gamies/tv shows and pretty much all tat stuff 've been meaning to get done / finish for the last few years. -Harm |
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8126.
That the best way to request that I do XYZ is to come up to me out of the blue and ask, "So, when are you going to do XYZ?"
[By :Dante668 / 2011-10-31] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments "When the proper procedures are followed for requesting it, including filling out all the required forms." -AmazingKreskin "And not a second sooner." -AmazingKreskin "but maybe a few days later!" - ecoli |
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8125.
A coupon is a legally-binding document, and we are obligated to fulfill it by giving you all the discounts, promotions, and any other free McShit to which you think you're entitled. Except for the part that says the coupon expired during the Clinton administration... That part is not only negotiable, but it never applied to you in the first place, because you're special.
[By :linkv / 2011-10-31] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments WYLFWT? - lineswine |
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8124.
That the Help desk will know that you mean you can connect to our main database program when you keep telling them you can't connect to the internet.
[By : Gunpe / 2011-10-31] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Just like we are supposed to know "my computer is broken" means "I can't launch Solitaire." - Captain Trips |
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8123.
The words email and internet are interchangeable. Providing me with your domain email settings will allow me to configure your DSL modem, and that it is also somehow my fault that no one in your organisation has any information whatsoever. (I did find a number with modem sync) Giving your domain host's support a blast on the on the phone will help rectify the problem.
[By :Bloke / 2011-10-26] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
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8122.
cow-irker misconception: It's ok to talk to yourself about personal problems nobody has any desire to know, sing to yourself so off-key that people swear they heard dogs howling a block away, and generally act as if you have an imaginary friend, despite being in your 40's...
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-10-25] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments We have a lady at work that is supposedly a professional singer. She wears earphones all day and sings to the music. She can be heard three rows away, and we can't figure out who would buy her albums. It's horrid. -TechieSidhe In defence of the off-key woman with the headphones, some people need the feedback of hearing their own voice. On the other hand there are those like me who couldn't carry a tune in a hermetically sealed bucket. -AussieFoot I can carry a tune, but only in conjunction with someone else - I'm a harmonizer. My strength is in timing. <_< -Omega I can carry a tune, but people usually just tell me to carry it away. Far, far, away. Quickly! - Voz I can carry a tune but it refuses to be carried by me T_T -Angelace |
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8121.
"4005" is said "four hundred, five"
[By :Mer / 2011-10-25] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments And I'm being generous with that comma... -Mer Thanks for your comma-nificence. We all know you're usually the Ebenezer Scrooge of commas, and we know with the holidays approaching, it must be particularly galling to give them out. Your generosity is an example to all of us. ;) (Sorry, I saw 'generous with that comma' and just laughed..) -NightSteel sounds like someone else was generous with comas -stiffarm four thousand five - DarkRookie |
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8120.
When reading off an IP address, you can give all the numbers in an unbroken sentence of single digits. They're not separated by dots for any reason.
[By :Mer / 2011-10-25] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Especially when you just described it as four numbers separated by dots in order to help the user find it. -NightSteel DA: If you're familiar with your site's network architecture, you can kinda get away with that. For us, all our sites start with the same two octets, and then a two digit octet, so we do tend to speed through them over the phone. -TechieSidhe Our last two octets can be either one or two numbers long. -Mer Our first two octets are standard. But when they tell me 1723549 I have no idea whether it's 172.3.5.49, 172.17.235.49, 172.17.23.549, etc. (Yes, some of our people think octets can be greater than 255. Or are surprised when I ask where the dots are.) (On that subject, has anyone noticed how many CSI type shows use IP addresses of 10.10.10.362?) - Captain Trips To quote the prophet Jerematic, one-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one... [later] ... zero-one-zero-one-one-zero-zero-one... two. Amen. -VIPERsssss Amen. -AmazingKreskin Trips- it may be the modern equivalent of how Hollywood has made every phone number in TV and movies start out from the "555" exchange, (or for those who are even more ancient, "KLondike-5"), so that the phone company would be happy that no one would be getting harassing phone calls just because the star of the show was getting a phone call. Make a network address internal, and they can't reach it from the Internetz, ya know... - Voz |
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8119.
Boss Misconception It's perfectly OK to schedule training on a day we've got 1 person out sick and the call volume has been 2x normal. This leaves 3 people to handle calls. Guess the callers will just have to wait.
[By :Starfury / 2011-10-21] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments The calls will be there when you are out of training. They can wait. - DarkRookie Ugh our HR manager likes to do this. Shoot us an email Friday afternoon to go train some new employee Monday morning. And you damn well better be there, who cares about massive update projects, go lives, clinic starts or major outages! -LazyLemming I like the ones who have all the time in the world to chase their pet rabbits around, talk about them for hours at a time, until ten minutes before shutdown Friday then toss out an outline that needs to 'Hop on the Bullet Train' first thing Monday morning. And he has loaned out 90% of the assets you need to perform the op- -jerrybear "pet rabbits?" - Captain Trips we had a case like this. the ticket was close with notes "coached $manager on how to strategically staff meetings" -boxcar |
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8118.
It's OK to call our help desk and expect them to help you when all you do is yell at them, complain that someone is remoted into your machine, interrupt them mid-question, and refuse to give them even basic information such as who you are, what the problem is, etc.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-10-20] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Oooo, the "You done ree-moated into mah mahceen" tinfoil hatters - I LURRVE them. When possible, I always set the connection to disable their kb/mouse for that extra special touch for the extra specially touched... -PTSTech This is the same person that "never has time" for you to troubleshoot. The more complex the issue, the less time they have. -TechieSidhe Even better, your help desk is outsourced to India. Lovely kids, barely speak english, but whatever, they're cheaper than the local talent. -AngrySup |
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8116.
Old Software Today one of our users sent us some files to open. They're .ovd files. From what I can gather from my brief research the software was published in 1992 and isn't made any longer. Time to ask the client to convert to a current format and resend.
[By :Starfury / 2011-10-17] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments It could be an ObjectiveVision file, or maybe an OverDisk file. But wait! Could it be an Outlook View Definition? I am continually amazed by how much there is to know. http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ee819848.aspx -nickdixon We have a client that is known for sending Windows Media Player skin files...we have yet to figure out why or what they want us to do with them. -redevil34 |
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8115.
Wishing the password on a Word document to be removed because you don't know it gives you the right to yell at me that our metadata scrubber is throwing up a prompt for a password when you try to send it. And that the password prompt does not actually mean that there is a password.
[By :redevil34 / 2011-10-12] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
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8114.
That a 4G cell phone connection can maintain usable connection speeds when split over 3 laptops. Furthermore, when the connection turns out to be slow, that it makes a difference to call tech support for the website you're trying to access. And, finally, after the support tech tells you to call Verizon and spends almost an hour trying to explain to you that it isn't the website's servers that are slow, that it makes a difference to call back and repeat the entire process with a different tech!
[By :scripttracer / 2011-10-11] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Hi, everyone! Long time reader, first time poster. Heard this one from a co-worker and had to share it. -scripttracer Stupid Lusers..... It really makes me wonder how people wipe their own butts... -beatmewithstick Welcome to TSC! You already know not to turn your back on the Burrkiss... -chazz Hi. Don't mind me, I come in once a week to service the water coolers. -MeanDean |
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8113.
That, as a national, you can ship out a work order with part A having an old address, part B having a horribly misspelled address (for the new one), and not giving a local contact number, the WO will still be run on time. Also, that you can call for a 7:30 AM CDT WO to be run when you don't show up into the office until 8 AM PDT (10 AM CDT for the time-zone impaired).
[By : ralphp1024 / 2011-10-11] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception |
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8112.
Simultaneously running three different antivirus programs and two anti-malware programs will not affect the performance of your laptop.
[By :ThinkGuy / 2011-10-11] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Well, of course not! An anti-virus program makes your computer 20% faster (because it's not running viruses), so with five of them, it's like a computer upgrade! Download RAM for everyone! -LDFeral LDFeral: here you are: http://downloadmoreram.com/ - DarkRookie |
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8111.
When you have an IT contractor do a job and then refuse to pay them for six months, after which the contractor sues you, you should agree to appear on political endorsement commercials on all local broadcast stations, ESPECIALLY after your excuse in court was that you were having family issues and hadn't had time to 'go to the bank'. This would never possibly come back to bite you in the arse.
[By :metaice / 2011-10-10] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Oh, and I did win that case. And I just emailed the judge a copy of the commercial. In 1080p. -metaice Doesn't have time to go to the bank, but does have time to film a commercial? I hope he has time to go to court - or he'll find himself DOING time. - Captain Trips |
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8110.
It's OK to call twice a day to request the status of a ticket to have four computers put in a room, when the room has no electrical outlets, no furniture, and no network jacks.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-10-05] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments I had that happen to me at my previous work location. Mangler called, wanting computers placed into a new room that had no outlets, no phone jacks and no network jacks. Oh yeah, he was moving people that afternoon to start working in there. *SNERK* It was a week before the electrical contractor could show up just for the wall plugs. "But can't you sprinkle your magic IT pixie dust and make it happen?" -VoiceOfSanity How does the lack of facilities affect your job of putting the computers in the room? They didn't explicitly say they had to function, did they? -Jeckler Yeah, I think putting four computers on the floor, not plugged into anything, then closing the ticket is the way to go. -thx1138 We started getting work orders for PCs a few months ago for a project that IS did not even know was starting. Turns out our parent company is providing them for this project and the managers found out in a meeting three months ago. We just found out today. -TechieSidhe That's entirely typical here too, TS. Manglement will decide months in advance to move on something, and then only tell us two days before it's supposed to be completed, and the prep work alone for it takes at least a week. - skippytpodar Even better, the PCs were delivered to the parent company IT people that were supposed to prep them, and they didn't know either. -TechieSidhe I went round and round with a manager here that wanted me to install a computer in an office with no desk. Kept asking me every day if I installed it yet, and every day I'd check and there was still no desk. Finally he screamed at me that there was a desk and I needed to install in NOW! So I set it up on the floor and told him it was done. He came to my office later that afternoon and apologized, his people told him that they installed the desk when they didn't. He never checked for himself. - Gunpe Heh i can top that. I get a call to go on site and install a pc. electrician has not been there yet. So no outlets or jacks. Mangler asks so can't you just turn on the wi-fi doesn't it support POE. Apparently the techs had to explain how the cameras worked at one time or another, and he just thought the computer cords were just for show. -deedadee I got a request once for three workstations to be installed in a room with no power or network. Not a new room without them installed yet. One that has never had nor ever will have power or network drops. It was a storage room. - ThinkGuy |
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8109.
You have an Imac, therefore, if you have Microsoft Office 2011 for Mac installed, it makes total sense to call Applecare support because the last time you launched it, it asked you to update. Then when you relaunched it, it asked you to do the same update. "But it's on my mac"
[By :Grembo / 2011-10-03] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments If Microcrap can't make good working, infalliable software for Windows, they certainly aren't going to do well in any other OS environment. -ravensentinel good, working, infallible. Pick two. (In M$ case it is just one most times.) Hell I have troubles with getting one myself sometimes. - DarkRookie they should have called a day after gif animator. -stiffarm ...or, they should have called it a day after gif animator. -stiffarm |
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8108.
That by bugging me day in and day out, sometimes hourly, about your account and your computer, that anything will get done any faster. Threatening to go to my next teir level support will only get you kicked right back to me. They have your ticket and they have 4 days to respond. It has been 2 days and you know this. Had you and your company done things properly and got all your information together BEFORE seeing me, all of your packets wouldn't have got kicked back and had to be re-submitted. (/end rant)
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-09-30] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
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8107.
When IS calls you and tells you to not run a report because too many people are running it, the obvious next thing to do is to immediately go and run the report. Twice. Then tell off the help desk because you didn't get their report.
[By :TechieSidhe / 2011-09-30] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments I have been yelled at by two managers because they don't want to wait for the report. One harangued me for 10 minutes asking for a "solution" over and over again, not letting me talk. The solution? Don't run the thing when everyone else is trying to do it. -TechieSidhe |
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8106.
Actually a Cow-Irker Misconception: That you have any right to act indignant towards me when I call you out YET AGAIN when you forward email issues to myself and the Sr. SysAdmin when you have been told MULTIPLE TIMES (and as recently as YESTERDAY) that neither of us have ANY admin access to the email system. And yes, her supervisor and the PM were CC'd on this. If you thought that was "Attitude", you ain't seen NOTHIN' yet...
[By : Grayhawk / 2011-09-30] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception |
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8105.
It's somehow OUR fault that you went on an unauthorized site on work time, with a work computer, had a nasty virus load itself on your PC, and then forced us, per policy, to remove our computer, reimage it after failing to remove the virus to the satisfaction of the security folks, and then yell at my boss why a piece of software wasn't installed when you got the computer back after you told us that you don't remember the name of the software, and don't have any of the media for it either.
It's also somehow our fault that you had to reschedule several patients because your computer was no longer functional as a direct result of you getting the virus, including a patient that had to fly in, paying for that ticket out of their own pocket.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-09-29] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments if that laptop had any patient data, he should consider himself lucky that he didn't get himself canned for exposing the hospital to possible hipaa violations. -McSmiley Skippy, don't you guys have a firewall with an allowed sites list? Or at least a forbidden sites list? (We do, but we've found if people type in "https://" then the access list is ignored. But we have cheap firewalls. Fortunately, most of our people are afraid to even plug a monitor in to the power outlet!) - Captain Trips Trips, you have appearantly never seen a management held hostage by a doctor before. It is that way here, the only doctor I have seen fired killed one underage drunk girl and crippled another then ran from police before he was fired. - OldScratch |
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8104.
Work e-mail account It's a good idea to use your work e-mail account for all of your online shopping. All the junk you've signed up for won't flood your inbox daily with non-work related mail and when you leave the company updating all those sites will automatically happen.
[By :Starfury / 2011-09-28] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments As much as my place of work constantly reminds people that your work address is meant for work-related correspondences, people use it as a dump for daily news sites, catalog sales, even personal email with the family. Not much you can do about it, other than discreetly clicking "unsubscribe" while the starfish are amused by something shiny outside...
-VoiceOfSanity take a suggestion form bill gates, deduct one penny for every none work related email they send/receive -Icelator I blocked yahoo mail hotmail and gmail. I figured that would put the kibosh on most personal email use. - virusjtg These are my users. Their email is 10 percent business, 99 percent catalogs, weekend planning, church bulletins, family drama, "Forward if you love Jesus" chain letters, and "inspirational" emails. I have talked to the manager 10 times, and the users a hundred more and they pretty much ignore us. Sadly, IT has very little enforcement ability. -TechieSidhe (Realizing the above percentages don't add up.) It's 1 percent business. -TechieSidhe That's OK TS. Obviously, the boss had told them he wanted "110 percent effort" from them. They only reached 109%, and that was by back-filling with a lot of other stuff! - Voz |
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8103.
More of a coworker misconception-Dont complain about the cost the 17 dollar calculator you need to pass the certification test when said test costs 300 dollars and the nearest test site is 6 hours away. Neither me or my colleague who have actually passed the exam will take any pitty on you, especially when you fail in a month.
[By :OldScratch / 2011-09-27] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments I'm currently facing down that cost for my CCNA exam. Ouchie. But it's still cheaper than the 4 college courses I get to get out of by having it. Let's see? 300 dollars vs 1500 dollars? Yeah. -TechieSidhe |
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8100.
Dad misconception: Plugging a printer with a wire into a wired router makes it a wireless printer.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-09-26] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Is your dad my dad? (On the other hand, he and Pam were completely THRILLED when I set their printer to be shared over the home network.) -Seamyst Corollary- unplugging a wired printer or other equipment will make it "wireless"... - Voz First of a series: http://notalwaysright.com/wireless-clueless-and-hopeless/1950 -AnneBWalsh |
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8099.
Misconception by a good 2/3 of my department, including 2 Helldesk tiers, Specialists, and the people who programmed the login screen himself:
The user will not have any legitimate reason to set their system language to one with a partially non-roman character set, (given that this is impossible with the standard image of Windows provided to our clients) and therefore this will not be an issue when logging in to our Social Services oriented custom CRM.
In hindsight, the "Interpreter" roles were a hint.
[By :Dhamp / 2011-09-23] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments No comment. (Doh!) -ravensentinel You can remove duplicates of this tale easily. - lineswine |
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8098.
Misconception by a good 2/3 of my department, including 2 Helldesk tiers, Specialists, and the people who programmed the login screen himself:
The user will not have any legitimate reason to set their system language to one with a partially non-roman character set, (given that this is impossible with the standard image of Windows provided to our clients) and therefore this will not be an issue when logging in to our Social Services oriented custom CRM.
In hindsight, the "Interpreter" roles were a hint.
[By :Dhamp / 2011-09-23] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Reminds me of something I heard about a few years ago, some program that went through rigorous testing to make sure it would behave as intended when CORRECT values were entered. No one bothered to test what would happen if one entered complete gibberish or just a typo. -Calydor Gibberish instead of passwords, clue-by-four can handle.
The user was doing *absolutely nothing wrong* which is why it was so damn irtitating. -Dhamp I am sensing deja vu - DarkRookie |
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8097.
Having the three users in your department all submit a ticket for the exact trivial issue is going to make us work the ticket three times faster, when in fact, it's actually the inverse. The more people bug us, the longer it's going to take.
[By :TechieSidhe / 2011-09-21] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Three? When a minor, trivial app fails here we hear it from no less than five - and those five are all department heads at that! - Captain Trips 12 total employees including me, you guess what happens. -Olorin |
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8095.
Just because your p.o.s. cell phone dropped a call does not mean I hung up on you. Also reporting that to your manager will just result in me recording all calls to and from you as well as conversations at this point. Also, do note that your manager is as spineless as you, so nothing of consequence will happen.
[By :OldScratch / 2011-09-20] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments So you were talking to a child right? - shadedworld |
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8094.
More a cow-irker misconception.. It's OK to tell a luser to call us back when the printer starts smoking because you don't feel like replacing a printer fuser that throws fuser errors on the printer faster than a pedophile throws out candy at Halloween. And yes, Mr. 33 Years really did say this to a luser recently.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-09-20] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Okay, obviously your company is never going to get rid of Mr. 33-years and it is also obvious that he is trying to burn the place down. I invoke the Tech's Imperious Eradicus! Bring us the body, we'll take care of the rest.... -unrenowned ahem - we have no idea as to what unrenowned speaks of... none. at. all. nothing happend nothing will happen taht has not been pre ordained to happen by chaos theory. accidents happen all the time.. people snap and wander off into the swamps.. -Harm true, true... and in any case I saw skippytpodar, unrenowned and Harm nowhere near the incident... not that I knew there was an incident, that is... WAS there an incident? Oh, really? how.. um.. incidental.. that was... -Diptera i have this signed affidavid and several photos AND receipts (again dated) from our outting at the pub. -Harm Wait, Mr. 33 Years actually got sucked INTO the printer's fuser?!? However did that happen? (Oh, wait, that comment wasn't supposed to be posted until after it happens...) - Voz At my place of business we have an old joke, more of an inside joke. See our ticket system has 15 break/fix levels and we only use level 1 or 2. So we joke that level 13 will take care of all problem users:-) - shadedworld |
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8093.
Call Forwarding. If all the staff on an entire floor are in training all day and are unavailable to answer their calls, that I can click my fingers and magically change the call forwarding settings for all extensions on this floor to go to reception with no advance notice and no helpdesk request.
A user from this floor came to my desk to request this whilst the training had already started and they realised that no calls were being answered. I replied "do you realise how long this is going to take us to do this!
If you want unanswered calls to go to reception then talk to your General Manager and get him to approve this. It was the General Manager"s decision in his infinite wizdom to have the call forwarding settings for all staff on this floor set to have all unanswered calls bounce around to the admin officers and executive assistants on the floor. If all admin officers, executive assistants and all staff on the enitre floor are in training then who is going to answer the calls??
[By :jp / 2011-09-20] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Who will secrete the secretaries? (uh.) Who will assist the self-same assistants? (better) -LDFeral |
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8091.
That yes, i would love to carry a new line printer out to your desk, even though we just finished discussing that i was just in the hospital for a torn back muscle.
[By :metaball / 2011-09-19] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments But it's a line printer, and everyone knows that a line is just one dimension. Without width or height, it can't weight anything, so therefore a line printer has no weight! </sf logic> - DukeOfURL A few years ago, I was 2 days out of foot surgery on crutches. A co-worker wanted me to walk up stairs carrying a large stack of printouts. *sigh* -MisterCommon That was brilliant sf logic. -metaball |
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8090.
That because you are afraid the epoxy I used wasnt applied using an aplicator gun, and you can't pull the part that was epoxied off, or it shows absolutely no signs of creep, that I will get give two s---s about your fears that the thing might fall off. If it hasnt as much as moved in 1 week than it is fixed, so please leave me alone.
[By :OldScratch / 2011-09-16] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Reciprocal of this story- we worked on ECM pods, (Radar jammers) and the high power output RF amplifiers (TWT) were attached to the cold plate with a layer of Thermal Interface Material (Heat sink). You haven't lived until you take a failed pod apart where they used white RTV silicone rubber instead of the white cadmium TIM. -jerrybear |
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8089.
Client (a hospital) misconception: it is perfectly reasonable to tell us to email you a spreadsheet containing patient data without even protecting it with a password. HIPAA is optional.
[By :thx1138 / 2011-09-14] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments I'm sure burrkiss would pay good money to see them get screwed up the arse by JCAHO for that HIPAA violation... - skippytpodar If they don't care about the rules, tell them about the fines and bad PR they will get WHEN (not if) caught. -Holdfast We don't have to answer to HIPAA, not being in the medical field, but we have our restrictions too. A former Network Manager went so far as to require us to put passwords into a password-protected zip file, e-mail that, then e-mail the user the password for the zip file. (He didn't, or chose not to, see the contradictions that involved.) - Captain Trips Holdfast - that's tempting, except we would get fined too. And for some reason they don't let me talk directly to clients. Something about diplomacy. -thx1138 A short statement, saying "I am unable to comply with your request due to HIPAA regulations" will generate a paper trail. keep replying in the same way, until overridden by someone high enough to know better. creates a great CYA. {I used the same reason for not accepting any paperwork to deal with excuses for absence. Their supervisor had to approve/take the blame} -madonnac I bumped it up to my boss, who bumped it up to the legal department. -thx1138 |
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8087.
These things come in twos. Employing a webhosting company that does not:
1. Update the open source software on their OWN website
2. Update the open source software on YOUR website
Will result in two more things:
1. Both of the sites being defaced with malware include commands because of the five year old security flaws in the software
2. You receiving an email from me explaining you are incompetent and shouldn't be running a website because my end users are whining our antivirus solution will not let them on and I'm tired of listening to them.
[By :metaice / 2011-09-13] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
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8086.
That five weeks after I've left a job, I'm going to remember the day-to-day minutiae of it. Fortunately, in this case, I did remember the particular thing I was being asked about. It still wasn't the answer they were looking for, but that's not my fault.
[By :AnneBWalsh / 2011-09-12] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Last week, I had a client stop me on the street (his office is across the parking lot) to ask me a question about a nearly 18 month old project. Let me note that this particular client is one of two that my employer has confirmed to me stopped using our services specifically because I came out as trans. But apparently I'm still good enough to answer questions when their contractor screws up. -Transkaren TK- I hope you've invited the prat to become intimately experienced with a chainsaw? -Seamus Did you charge them consultant rates? 2 hour minimum in cash? - Starfury I've been at my new worksite for 7 months now. I still get pages from my cow-orkers at the other site about where things are and how to do certain installs. This is after I left instructions and information... *sigh* They're good folks, just... a touch slow when it comes to some of the technical issues.
-VoiceOfSanity Seamus - No, unfortunately, I'm not a tech, I'm an Engineer. Part of that means that once we're responsible for a project, we're responsible for a project. We cannot fire a client for anything except the grossest of violations. Even the guy that indirectly threatened me (2nd hand report: "I wouldn't send Karen on any inspections out here, I don't know if my employees would react well") is still being supported. -Transkaren TK - I think the laws defining a hostile work environment override anything your contract may say - any contract that contains an illegal clause is null and void. And requiring you to put up with (verbal or physical) assault is illegal. So you DON'T have to do ANYTHING for them - as they have verbally assaulted you for no good reason. ("Hey, we don't like how you are a different gender than when you started" is definitely NOT a good reason.) - Captain Trips While I agree with you, this is almost all hearsay. I'd have a hard time proving it. Yes, I can tell when "the look" says "I think you're scum", but it's hard to prove damage in this case. Plus, small office - I'm *not* the Engineer of Record, but I do work for him. And if I *don't* do the work/answer the questions, I get less billable time (because I don't get salary). Basically, my workplace sucks. But I can't seem to get another job. -Transkaren |
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8085.
Newly promoted HR Driod walks into IT. "I think something is wrong with my blackberry. The battery isn't lasting as long as it used too." Me: "Well I would assume with your recent promotion your usage has increased and it is draining your battery faster." Her: "No, I don't think my usage has gone up. I just make more calls and get more emails" This is the point where I just get up and leave the room without saying a word.
[By :Puggiman / 2011-09-12] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments "So you've used it more than previously - IE made more calls and sent / recived more emails? " " NO i've made more calls and sent more emails!" *launches vary large dictionary is persons direction* -Harm "So you're saying your foot hurts?" "No, doc, my foot is in pain." - skippytpodar "So your car won't start again aye?" "No, when I push the button, nothing happens." "Are you pushing the Start button?" "Yes" "Where are you?" "At my desk." <facepalm> -ravensentinel "So, Mr. Mouse, you want to divorce Minnie because you say she's crazy?" "No, Your Honor, I said, 'because she's fucking Goofy!'" - Captain Trips Cue the anvil... -PTSTech ..& the coyote with a resigned look on his face, for about 3 seconds. - lineswine |
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8084.
It's perfectly alright to stop me in the hallway whilst I hold a hot coffee in one hand, and a hot breakfast sandwich in the other (because the place didn't get its shipment of bags on time) to try to give me your laptop & tell me about your problem for the third time after I already told you to call the Help Desk, and then three minutes later, come to my office as I'm about to take a first bite of said sandwich to drop off said laptop, after I again told you to call the Help Desk FIRST.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-09-08] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments did you give him a reciept? if no, then sell laptop on ebay. your defense? I couldnt have worked on it, it is supposed to goto help desk. -burrkiss Another reason for her to call the Help Desk first? The problem requires the laptop to be re-imaged & re-encrypted from scratch, and we don't have a copy of the image here, nor do we really want to either... - skippytpodar Keep your liability low. Do nothing to it. -srteach Deliver it to her boss, with a note explaining that there's a required process not being followed. - Grue 50/50 the persons boss is just as bad, maybe even worse??? -jerrybear Here at $We_Build_Things_With_Wings, we have something called the Laptop Service Center. My usual refrain when asked about laptops that I'm not assigned to work on (namely the executives) is always the same: "Have you called the Help Desk or gone down to the LSC with this?" If no, I tell them to do so. I won't work on $average_luser's system unless directed, I have more important folks ahead in the queue. -VoiceOfSanity Of course, if they're shoving it into your hands, which are already full, it would almost be worth having to get a new coffee and sandwich if you "accidentally" fumbled the hand-off, missed getting hold of their computer, dropped it, and to add insult to injury, in a valiant effort to catch the falling computer, dropped your coffee and sandwich, which would land on top of the poor computer... "Honest, boss, I even tried to catch their computer, but my hands were full!" - Voz |
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8083.
That on a server that has 2 2 terabyte hard drives installed (in a non-RAID configuration), you should wonder why the OS complains about insufficient space on the C: drive....when that drive occupies exactly 8GB of one of the 2 TB drives. Oh, and by the way, the OS in question was Server 2003. To my surprise it actually installed and ran fine in that small a partition. By the way, this was a "brand new" server that had nothing else whatsoever installed on it. Yeah, you're reinstalling the OS and putting it on a decent sized partition.
[By :tech4alltrades / 2011-09-07] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments There is so much wrong with this. - ravensentinel Dell...Dell....Dell... (no?)
It's an idiotic way to set up a server -CTYankee |
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8082.
It's OK to call and insist that we help you for a program you have been specifically told not to use, that is made by a company we have no licenses or contracts with, nor do any of our technicians have any knowledge or training on.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-09-07] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments "But Harvard Graphics is the industry standard! This issue of Byte magazine says so!" -AmazingKreskin WHY WILL YOU NOT SUPPOT MY PURPLE MONKEY!!!! SUPPOT THE MONKEY!! NOOOOWWWWW!!!! owowowowowowowoooOOOOOOOOOOWWWWoooioWWWWW -Harm |
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8081.
Probably listed here somewhere already, but it's happened again. So many clients seem to think that, if you have anti-virus software installed, you can open your browser and surf away without any concerns over what you are clicking on.
[By :TechMama / 2011-09-02] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments My purple monkey protects me. -Gerund Has anyone else ever been told by a user that "everyone knows" that you get more protection from an expired 30/60/90/etc day trial of something that should cost money than the free A/V thay we keep advising them to use? -Holdfast Yes with this software I can visit pornandspyware.com without any fear of infection! - shadedworld |
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8080.
All right; this is an old misconception, but a very recent incident, which makes it all the funnier in a pathetic way. Two weeks ago, I get a panicked, high priority, voice message. This individual, a recent hire, claims that her computer won't start when she presses the power button. She has one of the newer, more expensive systems in the building, and is in an imporant high level position within the organization. I rush in to her office, double check with her what is wrong, and then push the power button on the system. It starts right up. She immediately becomes defensive and asks me what I have done (in an angry tone). I say that I just pushed the power button on her computer. She tells me that I have not, and points to her monitor, stating that that is her computer. I tell her that that is not her computer, that is her monitor. She completely misses my point and says, "If that is not my computer, who does it belong to and why is it on my desk?" I make an attempt to explain: "No, I am sorry, perhaps I wasn't clear. That is your monitor; it is attached to your computer, but it, itself, is not your computer. It is yours, and belongs on your desk. But turning it on will not turn your computer on." This just seemed to fluster and confuse her all the more, and she told me to take it (the LCD monitor) away from her desk if it was not her computer. So, I tried to explain the relationship between her monitor and computer in very simple terms: "This is attached to your computer; it shows you what is happening inside your computer and gives you visual feedback so you may control your computer using the mouse - it's not your computer but it is connected to your computer and you cannot use your computer without it." I didn't know what else to say; I mean, it has been a really really long time since I have had to explain such basic concepts to someone. Especially in an office environment. These are basic office skills. Basic living in this society skills. IDK. WTF else could I have done? In any event; she wasn't happy with me.
[By :blurp / 2011-09-02] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Starfish hear "computer" and their brains solidify. You need to create an analogy for them. "It's kind of like a TV and a DVD player. The DVD player plays the movies, and the TV attached to it shows you the movies. This box here is doing the computer stuff, and this here is the TV that shows you what the box part is doing." If you want to prove a point, you can go on: "If you look at the keyboard and mouse really carefully, you'll find they plug into the box part, and that's how the box part knows what you want it to do." -chazz chazz - too funny; when I was explaining to her that the monitor was attached to the computer, I actually, simultaneously, showed her the cable and ran my fingers along from the monitor to the computer. Didn't seem to help. -blurp You should have taken her monitor for yourself. After all that's what she told you to do. See how much work she would get done, and when she requested it back it would 'unfortunately' have been 're-assigned', but there's this waiting list for new monitors ... -Calydor i would have done exactly what she asked for... disconnected the monitor and walked away.. after getting her to put it in writting :) -Harm and when she demanded it back, she doesn't sound like the "requester" type, I'd have dug out the oldest and biggest CRT screen that we had the still worked, mostly, and plopped that back on her desk. Reassign the newer monitor to some hottie in the company. -ChildofCthulhu Ask her how she's going to work on her computer if you take the monitor away, then do so. She'll look like a fool to anyone that comes in and asks her why she isn't working. "IT took the computer away, they are supposed to give me mine." "But that's it under your desk, where's your monitor?" "I had them take it away since it's not my computer." - Captain Trips Take out a piece of paper and have the user write down what they want you to do and date/sign it. Then remove the monitor and see what happens. You'll have documentation you did exactly what was asked of you. - Starfury This kind of shit from a user infuriates me. Seriously: you're paid a huge wage being an important member of the organization and you don't have the fucking smarts to know the difference between the PC itself and the monitor? It is 2011, I an through hand holding and coddling these idiots. Your job requires you to use a computer. LEARN WHAT THE FUCK IT IS. (sorry, rant over) -JoeLugian I can't help wondering what they think the tower does if the monitor is the computer. -thx1138 thx1138: I had one older worker who thought it was a foot warmer. No joke. -AnneBWalsh this is your dvd player, this is your tv got it? -Icelator Well put. If you don't know how to turn on a computer and what the difference is between a monitor and the computer then you shouldn't be working in an company or office environment or own a computer PERIOD. Have the fucking disipline and professionalism to learn these things as using a computer is part of your job. If you don't know how to use a computer you don't know how to do your job. If you don't know how to do your job then ask for help or training. I even suggested to our Human Resources department once that staff attend a basic computer skills course which didn't go down well. -jp *lol* I've had a few of those conversations over the years myself. My usual response once finished explaining the confusion the person caused is that they ask me if I think that they are an idiot. I have yet to be annoyed enough to say yes however. -spectreoflife What else could you do? I don't know, maybe... SLAP HER? HARD? -FuzzyElf |
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8078.
That sending me a screenshot of the document you want put on the website followed by a screenshot of where the document is on the FTP site is the same as just emailing me the document.
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-09-01] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments At least they gave you some kind of information as to where the real document would be located. Most users I've had to deal with would stop at including the document screenshot with no other information. -AmazingKreskin I'd get a screen shot of a page in the document. -redevil34 I'd get an e-mail with a scanned-in attachment of a printout of one page of the document. (Xerox scanner/printers create PDF's, which are useless for editing!) - Captain Trips |
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8077.
"My computer will not even power up, so my internet is not working!"
[By :Servano / 2011-08-31] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments My car won't start. Send Highway maintenance out to fix the road! -flapjackboy My car won't access the highway! sure it and my neighbourhood are currently a flamming ball of explosive death due to the burning munitions factory behind the house - FIX THE ROADWAYS NOW!! -Harm I thought Al Gore owned the Internet? - Captain Trips |
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8075.
HDTV and Digital TV are the same thing.
[By :Servano / 2011-08-24] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Well, they are the same crap. Or do you get great and new programming where you live? In our case, a lot of reruns and very old shows and movies that look the same in digital or HD. -buitre 500 channels, and nothing's on. -AmazingKreskin Yes, and a car and a truck are the same thing. -burrkiss Even normal digital TV is a vast improvement over analog TV and VHS tape. Even normal digital TV recorded to VHS tape is better than analog TV. HD looks good up close but once you sit 5+ metres away from the TV, you find you are watching the story and not the pixels. -Wraith556 Having lived at the edge of the coverage area, I disagree. Digital TV is a bad idea because it does not degrade gracefully like analog TV does. A bit of static and bad sound does not faze me that much, but sudden interruptions and both going away during an exciting scene sucks! -Fortytwo Just so, 42. The dramatic pops of disabling sound, the stuttering, frozen images; grotesque stills of half-open mouths and squinted eye, all the more unsettling due to the eerie smoothness of the picture. -LDFeral ... And where I live, ANY TV means another $40/month bill, which I don't feel like paying. We finally got DSL service back in March; if I care enough to watch it, I'll visit Hulu. -MeanDean $40?! fraak me! the cable side of my cable/internet/phone is about$80. we may aprox $200 a month for the combination. and at that we watch maybe 20 chanels out of the 500 or so. -Harm In my field,I was referring to customer responses to statements or questions. ie; how many HD-DVRs do you have? cs: ALL my boxes are HD! (meaning digital) -Servano |
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8074.
The fact that you stumble, fumble and stammer when randomly asked if you have the software needed installed, after lying to us again in the past about it, causing you to be over an hour late getting online, and forcing the person before you to run over due to your b.s that should've been solved in between times, that we won't let you go right then and there. The same applies for lying to the boss and saying that so and so was lying about this, or that she was skiving off to go play a game. Oh, that dent in the wall? That's from my head.
[By :AdmiralLaurie / 2011-08-18] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Owwies! *gently snuggles your head* - lineswine |
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8073.
It's OK to stop me in the hallway for three "simple" questions, that turns into a 45 minute clusterf^&* when I'm busy enough as it is today.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-08-17] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments My wife bought me a t-shirt that says "There cannot be a crisis today. My schedule is already full." I've written this on my board but people refuse to read it. (My bad handwriting is no excuse.) -Olorin @Olorin You could have removed the last word of your sentence (before the parentheses) and it still would have been true. Sad, really. -RDMcMains Best t-shirt ever: "I'm sorry, I can only deal with one idiot today. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking to good, either." -AmazingKreskin This same reason is why today, field work that should have taken three hours took five hours. I have sites where I will not answer "one more question" or even ask if there is anything else I can do, because I will be there all day. -TechieSidhe |
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8072.
I can assist you with configuring the VPI and VCI and disable PPPoE on your DOCSIS 3.0 cable modem. Also, DSL is pronounced much like "diesel".
[By :linuxmatt / 2011-08-13] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Dipshit Subscriber Line? -Seamus Ah, hera at Very Cool Internet, we do pronounce it as Diesel,,,,,,,,,,,,, -beatmewithstick at big red, I liked calling their fiber optic product feezo and their dsl deezo. -areatech |
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8071.
More of a cow-irker misconception:
That we will believe you when you say you got 4 PC's imaged and ready to go yesterday, while the server containing said images & ancillary software requred to update them has been down since Monday morning due to an electrical problem in the room in which it was located.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-08-10] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments 33 years XP i take it? -Harm Your example is precisely why I have a DVD set with the current image load! - Grue |
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8070.
The notes I gave you after troubleshooting are merely a waste of space. YOu don't need to keep, memorize or actually, y'know, use them for anything. Even if you don't need them, you might want to file them away. Oh,. and don't lie and say you put them away. I heard you delete them via your speakers. Skype isn't one way, you a$$hat.
[By :AdmiralLaurie / 2011-08-09] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments "Well, you see, we figured they were more like guidelines..." - Captain Trips "Dis heer comik strip dint have no pikturs so I's just gonna t'row it away." -MisterCommon |
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8069.
Your computer didn't get infected by a virus because you downloaded something called "sexyladies.exe".
[By :xhi / 2011-08-08] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Damn straight (pardon the expression). It was sexydudes.exe. - concept14 I think you're both optimistic - 'sexybeasts.exe' -LDFeral Man, where is Burkiss on this one? I bet it was sexymanbeastswithvegitablesgoatselemonpartytubgirl.exe -0gr3 IT BURNS!! IT BURNS!!
-VoiceOfSanity ...when I pee. -Chromatix |
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8068.
It is OK to leave 6 messages on a Sunday ranging from frustrated through to offensive (in the space of about 20 minutes) because your WOW addicted son figured out how to do a hard reset on the wireless router to bypass the scheduled rules.
Yes his university studies may be suffering but perhaps some active parenting on your part years ago might have played a bigger part in your obnoxious offspring's habits instead of band-aid fixes now he is an adult.
[By :Bloke / 2011-08-07] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Somehow, I think he'll be doing just fine. Granted he may need some spit & polish, but that kid may make a pretty fair IT guy someday.. - skippytpodar Oh Skippy, don't say that! TOO MANY of the new generation IT PFY think a hard reset is the answer to EVERYTHING! (It's just the answer to almost everything, including customer penalties!) -CyBear coul d go into IT... but given gthe addiction to WOW somehow i don't think they would do much. -Harm A hard reset on my router loses the internet connection as it clears the DSL account passwords until I can reload the router settings and manually type them in. Former roomie self larted himself several times doing that. -PolarCoyote PC: Pretty much most/all of them do that. It also drives home the point that it's a good idea to back up the router's configuration somewhere on a locally connected machine. -BayouTech This is a wireless router attached to a cable modem that requires no authentication apart from the modems mac address, so he left the wireless unencrypted into the deal. - Bloke |
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8067.
More of a recruiter misconception I will be perfectly willing to leave my permanent/benefited job for a contract job that pays $10/hr less than I make now and has no benefits....even if it is an 18 month contract. For some reason they always seem surprised when I tell them I'm not interested.
[By :Starfury / 2011-08-05] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Was talking about this today, oddly enough - mentioned that a few people had said to me recently that it's unusual these days for somebody to stay in a job for more than three or four years... then I realised that the people who had told me that were Recruitment Consultants, who, obviously, don't benefit from a sedentary workforce... -Diptera I think I finally got KForce to stop calling me (at work) offering me a "consultant" position that lasts six months, at $10-$15 less than I get now, with no benefits and absolutely no chance of permanent position. (I currently am way overpaid, have a PPO health insurance plan, accrued PTO, other benefits - and been a permanent employee for almost five years. Now what makes them think their offer is better than what I've got?) - Captain Trips One reason I stopped having my resume on Monster and other sites was that the headhunters couldn't read what I put in the resume or on the site, and honestly think that just because you have a full-time job that you're willing to give it up for a short-term temp part-time position with much less pay. *sigh* Took a few "lessons" to get them to stop pestering me with "offers". -VoiceOfSanity |
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8066.
Just saw this on Not Always Right: http://notalwaysright.com/common-courtesies-not-for-commoners/12784
I live near the town referenced in that post. I swear, if I ever find out who that kid is and who the kid's teacher is, I'm going to give BOTH of them an ass whooping!
[By :unrenowned / 2011-07-29] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments When I read that one I couldn't help but wonder if the kid might have misheard 'jerks' for 'clerks'. -Calydor LOL, caught the teacher talking about an ex perhaps? -spectreoflife OMG. Is that the future caller demanding his password being reset and where I accidentally then delete the account instead? -TheLabAdmin |
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8064.
Gah, they're crawling out of the woodwork today. When you, the sole programmer on a project, are called out on the carpet, for a bug fix that you swore would be fixed in the new shiny version, that was not fixed, and in fact, made worse in this version, that you have the right to throw a fit, and threaten to blacklist us from using yoursoftware.... That we're not going to walk off with the source code and fix it ourselves. It's open source for a reason, you reverse-evolved dumba$$. And the fact that you didn't credit another developer for the massive amount of work he did, doesn't help. I may not be a programmer, but I can walk through code and figure some of it out. You're going to lose a lot of donations that way. Oh, and don't come whining to us when you lose more than half of your user base because of this bs. And putting our personal information out on Twitter for everyone and his dog to see, as an antipiracy measure for your program for pandora, that the blind must pay for, when the normal service is free, don't think the backlash won't happen. because it will. Whew. I feel better.
[By :AdmiralLaurie / 2011-07-27] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Though he shouldn't drink anything bigger than his head, you, my dear, should have something quite tall indeed. -LDFeral |
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8063.
That walking up to my desk whilst I am right in the middle of having a conversation about fixing an issue that is affecting everyone with my colleague and shouting "HEY" because I have not acknowledged you standing there is going to want to make me drop what I am doing and help you.
[By :jp / 2011-07-26] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Happens too often. Even not trying, I generally ignore all others while I am with a customer/client. They can wait patiently just like the other guy did. - ravensentinel The correct response is to turn them and shout back, "YES, I AM BUSY RIGHT NOW!" -spectreoflife The polite response would be to turn to them and say "Just a moment and I will be with you". The tech response is to hit them up side the head with Otis and continue on with what you are doing. -ecoli Just turn to them, shout "HEY" back at them, then turn back to your work. Repeat as needed. -Voz |
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8062.
That unique ID code for each entry means that you can have multiple items with the same ID code as long as the description field is different in each.
[By :SillyGirl / 2011-07-22] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments I know, unique ID means unique ID. But just as an example, our time keeping system allows for using the same unique ID as long as your task description fields are different. You're supposed to have unique IDs for different jobs, but for some departments it's easier to go the route of different tasks to a single unique ID.
-VoiceOfSanity We get this nearly every day in our systems: User sends in the error "Can't complete transaction as it would result in a duplicate primary key". No one, even the ones who get this error repeatedly and are told repeatedly that they need to change the item ID, ever understands why or how to fix it. -JoeLugian A better error message is in order. It won't stop them ringing you, but you can just read it to them - "You cannot use this code because you already have $item using it, Please think of something else." -Holdfast |
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8061.
You complaint that "nobody told me" about a crucial policy change is completely unrelated to the fact that you currently have over 6,000 unread emails waiting in your inbox.
[By :Dante668 / 2011-07-21] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Or the sort-of-inverse: My complaint that I was unaware of the policy change has nothing to do with nobody outside the quorum in your head being told, or consulted. -LDFeral Actually, they DID tell him - sent an email last month <where's the shelter ???> -Source I get variants of this plus the "I never read the notices that IS sends out." - Starfury A lot like Luser:"I don't know how to do this in my email client." ME:"I sent you an email telling you how." Luser:"I don't read my emails" </Face Palm> -ecoli How about the ones who set up a rule to automatically delete all messages from IT/Help Desk? Had that one in the distant past. -BayouTech How about this: for those who say "I don't read my email", disable their email accounts. If they were honest, they'll never notice!
- Captain Trips |
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8060.
It's OK for $shuttleBusDriver to tell the people waiting on the shuttle bus at 7:43 that the 7:45 shuttle has already left, so we have to wait until 8:00 to leave. This is especially good to do after several of us have been waiting 10+ minutes to go.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-07-18] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments that is when you stand up and ask when the 7:45 shuttle left? at 6:15? -gashach |
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8059.
An outlook mailbox size if 16gb is not an issue. You'll never get .ost file errors and have to re-build it on a regular basis.
[By :Starfury / 2011-07-11] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Every. Goddamned. Day. -Seamus 15GB of shite - left this piece of garbage a 15GB archive file & so he just copied it back to the OST & carried on regardless - a knobduster of the 1st order. - lineswine People just do not understand this concept. I have tried to explain to them that this is a HUGE reason why I hate Outlook so much, but even drawing diagrams, I get blank stares and, "Well, I guess I hear what you're saying. I'd just be lost without my Outlook, though." Arrrgggghhhhhhh.... - RiffRaff I have to archive my Outlook mailbox yearly to keep it under 2GB. -unrenowned Under 2gb? Wow...I've got 6 PST's of that size from this year alone. Just made me another one this morning lol. - ravensentinel |
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8058.
Cable contractor misconception: It is perfectly acceptable to install a cable run/eMTA with a wall jack that's keystone is freshly painted as it could NEVER cause the coax end to become stuck
Homeowner misconception: It's ok to paint the coax jack keystone in the first place. And while doing that, paint the wallplate and screws so it can't be removed.
[By :metaice / 2011-07-09] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments I've never figured out how painting something can permanently fix it in. I figured it could make it harder, but I would think you could poke through the coat and unscrew it anyway. And what's the coax keystone? - AdmiralLaurie @AL: GIS tells me it's what sticks out of the wall plate to connect your coax cable to. -virtualchoirboy As someone who worked as a painter for a while, it boggles my mind that people don't take the 30 seconds to remove plates before painting around plugs and switches. Pure laziness I tell ya. -virtualchoirboy AL: You forget that paint, being designed to stick to things, shares characteristics with glue. Plus it is very liquid and so crawls into cracks. A keystone jack is a square plastic thing that holds a connector (I've seen cable TV, BNC, binding posts for speakers, telephone and many network varieties), that snaps into a cutout in a wall plate (which can have anywhere from one to six cutouts). The gap around the keystone in the wall plate is a perfect size for paint to fill it by capillary action. Call it half an inch square of nice, solid adhesion... and you're trying to break it by shearing it, which is the direction where it is strongest. -chazz You can very cautiously use a box cutter to get around the painting problem, but yeah, it's amazing that people don't remove them. If they want them to match that badly, you can paint them separately and reattach them after everything is dry. -TechMama I have had to powerman the cable out of the jack at a paint happy customers house...and then put a new end on the cable when the end came out in pieces. -Madrigorne I used to be a cable guy in a bunch of apartment complexes - not a single painter have I met that would tape/remove a faceplate. It was a continual pain in the posterior, but I got good at slicing the edges and digging the paint out of the screw heads. -TheCyberwolfe if you're not gonna remove the faceplate, use the damn painter's tape and mask it off! -McSmiley McSmiley...a-farkin-men! The amount of times I've had to slice surface-mount boxes (mains power, data, phone) off any given wall to work on it is just NOT FUNNY anymore. - lineswine Yeah. I ended up just busting the plate off the wall and replacing it and the keystone. Damn contractor left exposed CAT4 phone wiring too. What should've taken less than five minutes to relocate an eMTA and router took half an hour because of a contractors stupidity. - metaice I've done a fair amount of painting recently, and yes I was slovenly enough not to take off the surface boxes, but the result was a bit of paint on the edge of the box. What sort of crazy painter gets paint as far as the screw-heads, let alone glues cables in? What technology are you using there, spray? - rurwin |
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8057.
It's completely alright to e-mail me and ask me when I will come down to fix your problem the day after I come down and fix it for you, right in front of you, and verify with you its been done to your satisfaction.
Had an e-mail in my inbox from $starfish asking when I will be coming down to fix her blurry monitor the day after I went down there and fixed it for her RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER, and asked her if the monitor was no longer blurry. Sheesh, I swear its as if the universe somehow got the whole cause-effect thing flipped immediately surrounding whatever space she occupies.
[By : skippytpodar / 2011-07-05] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments nah, she just forgot her glasses today. -McSmiley <DA>I have been both the sender and the recipient of emails that have, for various and manifold reasons, arrived hours, or even days, after they were sent.</DA> -Big Bad Mojo Groundhog day? (for the Luser, at least) - lineswine |
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8056.
A more powerful "4G" connection should use no more battery life or processing power then a 3G connection on a cell phone. In fact, it should use less because it's newer technology.
[By :GrizzledBear / 2011-07-03] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments That sounds pretty related to the attitude that "my new laptop running Win7 Office etc should run faster than the old one running XP and Office 2000 - AND STAY FASTER! But we know better... -Holdfast ... And a Ferrari 458 Italia should use less gas than a Ford Taurus because it's smaller and only holds two people. -MeanDean It's pretty astounding how fast the winsxs folder grows to triple the size of the rest of a Win7 installation! And how much stuff still won't run properly on 7! -jerrybear |
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8055.
That if the email is down, I can still send an email to tell you this. I would also like it if you didn't go rattleing off to my non-techie boss that I wasn't keeping them up to date on these issues.
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-06-30] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Sounds like someone needs to go a few rounds with Otis. - Stryker One "I'm keeping him informed- and as soon as the e-mail is back up, he can receive the messages!" -Voz You really need to improve the scheduling of these unplanned outages, too. - Captain Trips |
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8054.
PHB Misconception: It's best to upgrade retail software over a holiday sales weekend. Can't be IT's idea to do it over a 3 day weekend while the stores are open actively accessing the servers.
I work retail, and like many stores are having a 4th of July weekend sale starting Friday. We got notice yesterday that there will be a 12 hour system upgrade on Saturday starting 6am Eastern. This upgrade will cause random system down and register reboots. I've previously complained that the whole system (POS, timeclock, and manager interface are all remote sessions) for 3000 stores is run from the corporate servers with no local redundancy. FYI PHB's have also dictated that we will be open extended hours this weekend meaning that there is only 7-8 hours between close and open at any point this weekend.
[By :PolarCoyote / 2011-06-29] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Sounds like management in a retail store I worked in years ago. They wanted to re-merch the store... IN THE MIDDLE OF STOCKTAKE. Not only were there no staff available to do it, but they wanted to move stock around whilst we were still counting. -PoglaTheGrate No problem...just let the PHBs do it.
They'll be so far up their own arses that it'll NEVER get done. - lineswine |
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8053.
Because I can access my desktop from my phone, I must be a hacker/cyber terrorist/industrial spy and will be reported to management.
[By :ThinkGuy / 2011-06-29] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments I'm gonna keep an eye on you, because I think you're a pretty shady character.
-vacuumtubes Did it from a barcode scanner the other day. Bit tricky trying to get all the pixels in a 24" panel to resolve on a one-inch display. Much scrolling happened. -Geminii Sounds like the latest version of Teamviewer. -Wraith556 |
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8052.
Every software glitch on your computer can be fixed without a restart...even if the ONLY fix is to restart the computer.
[By :Starfury / 2011-06-28] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Why should the customer have to do or tell you anything?! It's YOUR fault the glitch is present and occurred! - Aelin236 its SOFTWARE! rebooting is for HARDWARE! Duhh!! </fishymode> -Harm "Shut up and reboot." "Hey, it's wo--" "Shut up and hang up." -AmazingKreskin I use Linux. I know as an article of faith that there are no problems that actually require a reboot. I do it from time to time because I am a mere mortal and my understanding is limited. - rurwin "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?" </obligatory> -docbrown01 |
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8051.
Even though you are at least 15 years my junior and have shown yourself to be the worst kind of clueless twat, you may call me "Sonny" when delivering a misinformed rant.
Your condescension has earned you a special place in my shit list when I pass it on to my debt collector
[By :Bloke / 2011-06-27] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Story! Story! -AmazingKreskin I dunno. 'Sonny' is one of the words that seems to really emphasize the nature of the rant. Right up there with 'you people.' -LDFeral I've known more than my share of customers (and occasional former friends who now know not to do this to me) who punctuated their rants with "BOY" said in a very derogatory tone. Hated it, always have, always will. Just state your problem, let's work it out, sheesh! -Lusus |
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8048.
(In this case I am the customer)…That when I ask the facilities management team for five platforms two feet high, two feet wide, and 26 inches deep…that it be sturdy enough to hold a Zebra label printer…and that one like it exists in (location x) of the building serving the same purpose…I am being clear in wheat I ask for…and that my lack of clarity (not his cheapness, unwillingness to help depite his ability to build/procure such a platform in a warehouse full of scrap wood from pallets which can be and have been used in a pinch) is what is keeping me from getting what I request and the company requires.
[By :Captn92 / 2011-06-16] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Did you submit it in written form? YES. Shove it back in his face, ask him for clarification as to EXACTLY what he needs in the request. -srteach Meh, those Zebra printers tend to be pretty sturdy - could probably drive over one with a fork lift and it would still be going :) - Diptera "I need a wooden platform, x by y by z, strong enough to hold q pounds of weight." "Sorry, that's too vague. Please specify: species of wood: dimensions - inches, feet, centimeters, or meters; weight: do you mean pounds Troy, Imperial, or Avoidupois?" Yeah, I can see where the nits got picked here... - Captain Trips Take the one from building X, drop it in his lap and say i need 10 more! -gashach |
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8047.
User has a laptop that is used on a corporate domain. She uses laptop off site. For some reason, she CTRL ALT DEL and changed her local password. Rebooted and forgot the password. Over and over again she claims she is putting in the right password. Had her try her old password - nope. I'm getting ready to have her log in as local admin so I can remote in, when she pulls the laptop battery and puts it back and miracle - password now works. 1. Idiot finally remembered password or 2. As yet unheard of fix for forgotten local password on a machine off the domain!!! Jeez
[By :willow / 2011-06-15] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Probably had her username typed incorrectly..... -Mer her fingers have dyslexia - my users do it all of the time. -ecoli I've actually had cases where I need my friend to log in for me, and suddenly I can't remember the password! I memorize all my passwords by my finger movements, and when I try to put the characters to them, I usually can't and it often results in me completely forgetting the finger movements for a couple hours. If I ever try to recite my login password, I won't even be able to log in! - linuxmatt or 3: caps lock was on and she tapped it off when replacing the battery. -MisterCommon Depending on how long after she changed her password and when she pulled the battery, her password change may have been in a memory buffer and not written to disk yet. Possible but not probable. -ecoli ecoli: Unlikely, as any even moderately useful disk cache will read from the cache by preference. Much more likely is that numlock was on, and pulling the battery killed the specific bit of circuitry that was remembering that. One of the more complicated ways of clearing numlock IMHO... -chazz |
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8046.
That just because you can hunt me down within the building means that you can bypass the work order system and get me to fix your problem right now. (I have to admit, I really do like that we now have a fully-implemented ticketing system set up to handle work orders instead of our previous chaos method, just some people keep refusing to accept the change)
[By :SillyGirl / 2011-06-14] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments I get this all the time. I call it the "hey you" effect. Usually this happens with any device/website that has a plug/web page. - ravensentinel Actually, my current support position is for executives, and yes, in general they don't call the help desk. Instead they or their OA will call me directly, and I'll come over and fix the issue. If I can't fix it, then *I'll* call the help desk, which makes a flag fly on their software to provide immediate service. I like where I work, I can use LARTs on the help desk folks instead of the users for once.
-VoiceOfSanity I'm sorry. The tech you are bothering is busy at this time. Please submit a ticket with the help desk and we will send someone to help you as soon as we can. -KrazerKap I call them queue jumpers. Primarily they are users who sit in the same area or down the hall from you. -jp "Send me an email and I'll log a ticket for you. I can't help you right now because there are fourteen people ahead of you in the queue. If you want to queue-jump, see my manager, who will slap you on the wrist for not following the policy we've had in place for the last three months to prevent queue-jumping." -Geminii Please submit a ticket and we will begin ignoring it in the order received. -STJ |
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8045.
Employee Misconception: That despite an email saying you will not be able to do any work that requires the internet or network between 5:30 and 6pm on Friday because of system maintenance in your part of your building, you will be able to access both the internet and your network resources.
I cannot change the fact that ethernet LANs have switches, or the fact that the old switch has to come out before the new one goes in.
[By :ThinkGuy / 2011-06-11] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments But I didn't need the internet or network, I just needed to send (thing on a remote share) to (website operated by an outside vendor). -thx1138 |
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8044.
Two fer: That When I tell you that your computer will be completely erased to DOD standards, that you can then take said computer home and it will work. Also that there's a 10:55 in the afternoon.
[By :drachen / 2011-06-10] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Oh but there is a 10:55 in the afternoon....it's just quite a bit after beer:30. - ravensentinel Ah, my dreams of Alaska. 10:55 in the afternoon is just fine. Sunset about 11:30. Sunrise about 12:30. -AngrySup |
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8043.
That a "browser" is a service you access on the Web that locates resources for you. A conversation from today: Tech Support (one of my coworkers): What browser are you using? // End User: I don't know... would that be Yahoo, or...? // Me (in other room, where coworker can't see me): *facepalm*
[By :CaliTech / 2011-06-09] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments to be fair, there was an SBC Yahoo browser back in the day. -slowANDeasy And, given the number of search toolbars many of these nimrods have installed, do you really wonder how they could confuse a search engine with a browser? - Voz Voz: Good point. S&E: Oh. I didn't know that. -CaliTech S&E: IIRC it was a rebranded IE? -Obsi "uh, the mouse?" -SpiderRider3 |
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8042.
That I am a dense, unhelpful moron because I only answered the questions you actually asked me. If I were psychic I would have much more satisfying uses for my powers.
[By :Dante668 / 2011-06-07] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments Scanners? -LDFeral "So in my film, I play a man who controls the world with his mind. For instance, I'm walking along, and I see this beautiful girl, and I think I'd like to see her naked, and so all her clothes fall off. And she's scrabbling around to get them back on again, but even before she can get her knickers on, I've seen everything. Yeah. I've seen it all."</patrick stewart> -AmazingKreskin |
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8041.
THE PROBLEM: Employees bring in personal laptops to work, then unplug the company-issued desktop's ethernet cable to connect said laptops to the network. This causes said cable to become frayed, needing to be re-crimped several times. As a minor, insignificant issue, the company-issued desktop that they're supposed to use for work cannot reliably access the network OBVIOUS SOLUTION: Tell fucknugget employees not to bring in outside computers, or at the *very least* to not unplug company computers from the network. MANAGEMENT-SANCTIONED SOLUTION: Install a Wifi card in company-issued desktop, so that wire is available for employees to use.
[By :linkv / 2011-06-06] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Misconception
Comments We have found that the best way to ensure that your network gets hit with the worst possible virus is to allow users to hook up personal equipment to the net. Works every time - whenever we get hit, we usually can track it down to the computer which someone "lets my son use for homework every Friday night when we are not at home." - Captain Trips I'm psychic, my visions show me a network with horrendous security issues. - Stryker One Often my experience is that it's not the personal computer hooked to the company network that causes most of the virus attacks, it's the company computer that the user *disabled* the anti-virus as he was annoyed at the pop-up warnings at home that's your biggest problem. -VoiceOfSanity Our solution here is to allow laptops, netbooks, & such to get regular internet access wirelessly, but none of them can connect if you try to use an ethernet connection. Also, they're not allowed to connect anything on the intranet. -AmazingKreskin We use port control in certain areas to restrict MAC addresses. You plug in your slaptop and the wall point stops working - even if you plug the PC back in. Until we reset it.
We then give you a lecture about hospital policy and it doesn't happen a lot - no repeat offenders.
We are looking at a staff accessible WiFi that does not link to the internal network - just straight out. The password will change every day but we intend to be nice about giving it to anyone who asks politely.
It is actually for visiting lecturers, consultants and locums. We gave it to one of the latter just before closing time today. Our first customer... -Holdfast You're lucky someone invented twisted pair. I had to put up with the sales manager who took his laptop off the network by unplugging the coax from the T-piece. Whereupon the entire network went down and I had to search the whole length of it before I found the fucknugget responsible. - rurwin coax & tpiece? WTF, was this a srsly old token-ring sestup, that it crashed the entire network? - MadJack and installing wifi on individual systems that already have a wired connection, srsly? WTF kind of logic thought this would be good from any perspective. Tell 'em that's a waste of money, maybe that'll cause enough hassle from undesired sectors to bring that idea to a halt... - MadJack Port security anyone? -Crai We have.. or rather, used to have a fairly open wi-fi connection. You still needed a user name and password to connect, but it was there. Unfortunately, folks in the company knew about it, not to mention every cellphone with the wi-fi enabled was trying to connect to it. So, now they've set it so that you need a security key to even connect to the network, creating headaches for us having to go and help the visitors who *NEED* that connection for legit business use. *sigh* -VoiceOfSanity @MadJack: no; it was state-of-the-art 10Base2 Ethernet. It was a while ago now ;-) - rurwin I have to shake my head at this kind of manglement descision. however we do use port security as well. -raneshem |
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