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2527.
Subject: gramar checker
Body: "Sir do you have a program called gramar checker." (unedited) The I-wish-I-could-reply: Yes, it's called elementary and high school.
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-12-21] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Email
Comments
At least he didn't start with the word, "Like,". http://www.wtfux.net/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/69b84_68e55404-de12-49c1-a32c-f9fea938e9f0.jpg -Biosynthetic
It's funny... I use Firefox, I type my messages, and when there is a misspelling I get a flag on the word. Doesn't matter if it's here, the Washington Post blogs (where I annoy a lot of folks) or elsewhere, there is a way to check the grammar and spelling. I guess most folks treat the little wavy red line under the word as an emphasis mark instead of what it really means, namely, you're being an illiterate idiot.
-VoiceOfSanity
You know, VoS, that all they would need to do is click on "Add to Dictionary" for the misspelled word, and it becomes part of their vocabulary. As to whether they are clicking by reflex without really looking at what they're typing, or whether they think that "gramar" really does have only one "M", and the software must be wrong, well... - Voz |
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2526.
Subject: The Queque Is A Lie
Here's another e-mail exchange from our tech support inbox. // EU: Hi - Can you please tell me who we have in the registration queque at $MainOffice? // Tech: Are you referring to the phone queue? // EU: Yes
[By :CaliTech / 2011-11-04] [Top]
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2524.
Subject: I don't understand
We received an email from an EU. For about a week we have been attempting to contact her to return her laptop we repaired.
So in our resolution we explained very plainly "Moved hard drive to new computer, increased memory. This will enable better performance".
The user responded, "I don't understand".
[By :Kanthos / 2011-10-13] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Email
Comments
"We made it go." -AmazingKreskin
We look for things. Things to make us go. You are smart. -burrkiss
We upgraded the dongle, the doo-hickey and the whatsit. GO QUICK NOW! YOU TAKE! GO QUICK! -PoglaTheGrate
It unbroked, you get -SwizzleStix
We received a follow up from the user:
How can it be fixed, I haven't had my laptop for a week.
I decided it was best for all parties involved if I just walked away. -Kanthos
The gods breathed on it, and it got better. -LDFeral |
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2523.
Subject: George Has A Doppleganger
...and she's in Thailand: **Dear PTSTech, Today the our IT double checked the my laptop already. Becuase the website that I have been opened the lock to keep the old information. So the our IT upload the Filezilla to access site. I have tried to follow your information already and much easier. Thank you very much and glad to work with you :) Have a nice week end. Best regards, EU.**
[By :PTSTech / 2011-09-23] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Email
Comments
Well, they say that everyone in the world has a twin somewhere...Either that, or George is the "North" stupid pole in this hemisphere, and she's the "South" pole. If they get too close to each other, it throws the whole world out of it's orbit. (damn, too much coffee this morning...) -docbrown01
North? South? I think George is at the East pole :) -Diptera
I'm sorry, but my Babelfish just decided to jump out of my ear and go straight for the nearest pirhana, yelling "eat me, eat me!" -Captain Trips
Somebody set up us th' fucknugget...
-vacuumtubes |
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2520.
Subject: End of Employment
The following e-mail conversation took place today between a client and a support tech. EU: $OtherEU has resigned as of today can we shut down his access to computers ASAP // Tech: This has been completed. // EU: What about his vip on his lap top will he be able to do anything with that? // Tech: Do you mean VPN access? // EU: Yes
[By :CaliTech / 2011-08-22] [Top]
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current status: vup -stiffarm
What about his VIN status? (That's what all our users call it, and I don't give a flying fuck about their cars!) -Captain Trips
His VPN has been PNG'ed. ;) -MadJack
I have one guy who constantly refers to CSVs as CVSs. My eyes turn red each time as I strive to not make some random drugstore comment. -blurp |
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2519.
Subject: Attn. psychic IT support...
(Actually an MMS received by email - no signature, no subject and a mobile number I didn't recognise) "Can you tell me password for wifi at home please" I located the number in my customer database, checked my records, found the customer was an idiot and replied "No, sorry - the crystal ball interface is down at present. Suggest you either give me some clue as to who you are and where you are, or (preferably) CALL ME." I haven't had a callback yet....
[By : Gromit / 2011-07-28] [Top]
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FLAWLESS LART! -Harm
That's because the texter was actually his 15-year-old son, trying to get a borrowed laptop snuck onto the wireless so he could view pr0n without his parents finding out. :P -TechMama |
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2518.
Subject: sometimes not receiving email from...
...some domain.
I love it when customers are as precise as this. I receive at least once a week a ticket with this or a similar subject...
[By :TheLabAdmin / 2011-07-27] [Top]
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Comments
"Something happened." Yeah, that's descriptive... I have had to field more calls with "Something broke" as the sole description... though that's better than one of my co-workers who was supporting hardened electronics gear for the oil patch. He told me that at least one piece of equipment came back with the one-word note "F*cked"... Oh, and welcome to TSC. LART shelter to the left, watch out for the Burrkiss... -chazz
something broke? something fixed. Ticket closed. -madonnac
@Chazz. At my last place there was a list of POST codes hung up, listing the two-digit code and a description of the failure. On the bottom someone had added in pencil "FF F*cking F*cked" -rurwin
I had this call yesterday. "Yeah, something about it failed?" (When I know on this piece of equipment, the word "failed" is not even used.) When I asked for the exact error message, I got a huffed, "I am dealing with customers. I don't have time for keeping track of error messages." I had to really hold myself back from responding, "Then I have no time to try and help you." -MrsCheezil |
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2517.
Subject: prob w/files from Julie
[$User] got assistance from someone at [$MyCompany] to send me her Word & Excel files in a zip file. The Word documents are fine but all of the Excel files open as above - nothing but letters & symbols. Is there something I can do to be able to see these Excel files? I really need the spreadsheets she created. // <Screenshot showing a title bar that reads "filename.xls - Microsoft Word">
[By :CaliTech / 2011-07-22] [Top]
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Comments
Note: The technician's solution notes showed that it was, in fact, the user who was attempting to open the .xls spreadsheet in word. At least this was a nice, reasonable user who responds well to corrections to PEBCAK errors. -CaliTech
Wow...I used to have "problems with Julie" at my [Job -1]. I am so glad I no longer have to deal with her... -Griffin2020 |
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2515.
Subject: laptop for home use
My husband asked me to ask you whether the laptop will have wireless capability with a wireless rotor from our T*** W***** cable modem?
[By :redevil34 / 2011-07-06] [Top]
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Comments
"All our rotors are wireless, otherwise they'd get all tangled up." -AmazingKreskin
OH GAWD!!! *flashbacks to TW support years* -Harm
<da> Well, they could be having a TV flashback. In the days before cable, when all the houses here in Sandy Eggo had 40-foot masts for their antennae, rotors were commonly used to remotely aim the antenna at various transmitters throughout SoCal. (Could tune in Santa Barbara -- and on one good day, I actually found a UHF station in Boise, Idaho! Kind of like ham-radio hunting on a regular TV.) </da> -Captain Trips
Capt Trips - I'll grant you that one b/c they are old enough. OTOH, she wouldn't know the difference if she was looking at them. -redevil34
Only if it's a Linsky rotor. -MisterCommon |
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2514.
Subject: RE: Where's my Abacus at???
That was it.
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-06-30] [Top]
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Comments
...aaaaand that makes no sense this end, how about anyone else? -lineswine
Hey, no viruses, malware, or blue screens, zero carbon footprint.... Maybe they're on to something there. -Stryker One
I think just knowing how to use one already makes a person a geek -- having one on top of that = super geek! (Now, where did I put mine again?) -TechMama |
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2511.
Subject: Notification
Good Morning- I have a box that has been popping up this morning that says- Symantec Endpoint Protection; Antivirus and Antispyware protection definitions are out of date, contact your administrator. Is this something that needs to be taken care of immediately? // Thanks- $Fishie // $Fishie $Lastname, Nurse Supervisor // ! ARGH!!! Well, to be fair, at least this particular EU is actually following onscreen instructions - to the letter.
[By :CaliTech / 2011-06-16] [Top]
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The first mistake I see there isn't the fish. It's the software. Symantec can DIAF screaming. -Seamus
A nurse, well at least they informed you of the problem, a lot of times our equipment just has broken written on it in sharpie, and nobody knows why. -OldScratch |
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2510.
Subject: Re: Alarm Systems
If you really just stated that I will have an iPhone app to control the alarms then you are my idol!!!
//
Sent from my iPhone //
!Not an example of customer stupidity, but it made me smile. :)
[By :CaliTech / 2011-06-15] [Top]
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Comments
one smalll problem, if you accidently leave Your phone say at home.. and the other person leaves their phone at home ( both belivign the other person has theirs) - you get a rather expensive bill from police services when they show up to find nothing is worng and a cat set off a montion detector. -Harm
Wait - "Leave your phone at home"? How does one do this? I'd forget my pants before my phone... -Divinar
I've done that. The phone, that is, not the pants. -AmazingKreskin
Must be a generational thing. I have left my phone at home numerous times. See, although I dearly love my HTC, it is not an essential part of my day-to-day living. Essential: Keys, glasses, wallet. Need: e-cig, phone. -PoglaTheGrate
What is this portable phone thing and why do I need one? I have one provided by my employer that I never use. Got rid of mine cause it wasn't worth it to me. -Olorin
Burkiss comment (Channeling him) I've done that, the pants not the phone. -Wolfie0827 |
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2509.
Subject: New IT policy
Due to persistent misuse of company PCs, local admin rights have now been removed from all staff workstations. If you feel you have a genuine work-related need for these to be reinstated, please submit a written request giving as much creative detail as possible. You won't get them reinstated, but Mr. Gromit and the directors like a good laugh occasionally.
[By : Gromit / 2011-06-12] [Top]
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Ofcourse now you post excerpts from these application forms :D -ApolloSZ
We tried that here at $We_Build_Jets. For the most part it's worked, but when you have a senior executive who is fired up over losing his admin rights, well... he's the executive, you're a lowly peon, and he gets his rights back.
-VoiceOfSanity
"The 'Application for Administrative Workstation Rights' form can be found the the third filing cabinet from the right, in the basement, behind the door marked 'Beware of the leopard'." -smellystudent
They tried that on us developers once. It lasted about half a day. -rurwin
Rurwin is correct. MS has made it so that if you want to do any development at all, you will sooner or later be installing COM objects. That requires admin privileges. -chazz
We have done the same thing at my company. Mainly becuase staff think it's fine to put requests in to support issues with Itunes & store GBs of music on their profiles. It's stirred up a hornets nest of complaints :) -jp |
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2508.
Subject: Someone has a new toy
Subject: (no subject)
Sent from my iPad
[That's the whole email, apart from the mailing list footer. Every email tells a story.]
[By :rurwin / 2011-06-09] [Top]
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Comments
reply "I will be looking for you with my i-Otis!" -ecoli
*send link to awsome cool website thats completly flash based* OMFG did you SEE THAT! -Harm
Harm - any site suggestions? I know a few apple fans I'd love to do that to... -Divinar
I'd like to do "a few things" to Steve Jobs, with Otis...but that's a different matter. -lineswine
"I knew you'd like that Anne Summers Catalogue! Did you go for the ball gag, the leg spreader bars or that green thing that needs six D cell batteries and a liability waiver?" would have been my response. -Vie |
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2507.
Subject: emails dont' seem to be working properly
The e-mail message was blank. Customer used only the subject line to convey information, and not very much of that. This is typical for him.
[By :CaliTech / 2011-06-09] [Top]
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Comments
Reply (subject line): This one seems to be ok. (Body): blank -buitre
Nah, just reply back "fixed". See if they complain again. -TheCyberwolfe
Reply "Email's fine - user dont' seem to be working properly." -Gromit
Reply and change the subject to random gibberish, in the body put "I don't understand your email" -ecoli
LOL! Great suggestions. One of the other techs handled it, so no need for me to reply at all. (The first suggestion was tempting, though >:-D ) -CaliTech
Reply: "If you can read this, the e-mail is working properly. If you cannot read this, then it is broken. However, your e-mail reporting the problem never got through, so we don't know that it needs fixing." -Voz
Oh.Yes.They.Do! </Pantomime audience> -lineswine
Reply back: Closed: Resolution: PEBKAC (Problem exists between keyboard and chair) :) -jp
jp: :) It actually wasn't, this time; it was a case of one server + too many colocated services = lag time. -CaliTech |
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2506.
Subject: help
"Sir when I try to sing my email it tells me that my signature could not be found by the underlining system. So what’s up………………"
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-06-09] [Top]
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Comments
Well, voice activation is really still in its infancy, and yelling... I mean dictating your missive is a bit hit and miss. -LDFeral
OK, who crossed musical comp & wp/e-mail/vr software & didn't tell IT about it? ;) -MadJack
Obligatory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9kTVZiJ3Uc&feature=related -Stryker One |
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2501.
Subject: Wots that?
Less than a year ago, I had to reinstall XP for a friend. Since his original install was a less than legal one done by another friend, and since I had no desire to go there and no desire to re-use a legal XP disk from my place of work, I bought him an OEM XP disk. Ł50, out of my own pocket. I then proceeded to lose the all-important sticker and had to do it again. Doh! Self LART. Lesson Learned.
I told them in no uncertain terms to look after the disk, and what it meant if they didn't. I installed Firefox and hid Internet Explorer. I installed Avira. I told them very firmly not to install anything off the Internet. Not to click any buttons, nothing.
Every time I go round to see them, they have another toolbar on Firefox. They must have at least six now, and the search page is always different and one I've never seen before. Anyone I accuse is always innocent. Those tool-bars are tricky that way; they materialise out of thin air.
Whizz forward to last Friday... It seems they have wildlife of some sort on the machine, involving one or two fake virus whatsits and including at least one exploit. So it's very likely they are sending out spam if not having their Facebook stolen. I left Avira running (very slowly) and instructed them to find the XP disk.
On Saturday I got an SMS. Can you guess what it said? I'm sure you can.
Friend: Richard, <daughter> tryed to go on the internet and she said about 8 more viruses came up and it would not let her get in we dont have the disc u were talking about
Me: Well I'm not buying another one for you for 50 pounds. It looks like you're going to get Linux,
Friend: Wots that
BruHaHaHa! One Linux Mint-shaped LART coming right up. I'm going to enjoy this. I might even make them use Konquerer.
[By :rurwin / 2011-05-09] [Top]
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nice
-virusjtg
The newest version of Ubuntu is brutal enough. Don't be cruuuelll. -LDFeral
Get and install Belarc Advisor. It will scan the current machine and one of the goodies you get with it is that it unhashes the XP key giving you the one that would have been on the sticker. -qnadad
If you can get into the PC you can use SIW (System Information for Windows) to get the install key. You can get it from POrtable freeware and drop it to disk. Unless you have a thumbdrive you want to format... -AniMaL
I love Mint! It takes the only good things left in Ubuntu, and 86's the crap that's been creeping in. I vote install Ubuntu 11.04. It sucks royally in my opinion. The Unity interface is especially crappy, so make sure you install the right graphics drivers. -linuxmatt
I _could_ install XP again; the key is stuck to the PC, and I probably have the orphaned disk somewhere. But then I would have the same problem in six months time. Forgot to mention that the daughter is always blamed for installing stuff, but she was administrator for the first few months, and nothing got installed then. Unfortunately they have other friends who know how to reassign Admin rights. -rurwin
I run ReturNil on my worst luser's computer. http://www.returnilvirtualsystem.com/ Every time he reboots he goes back to the original image I made for him! -Divinar |
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2499.
Subject: So uhmmm...say what?
No star so please excuse the formatting :(
So..we get this support request email and it says:
[yeah,like uh...one second i can get that for you....uhmmmm..yep, right....give me just a second....I don't know....]
And that's it...that's all it is in the email. <scratch head>
[By :Angelace / 2011-04-29] [Top]
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Comments
Sounds like you got a text-to-speech-butt-dialed-email from a (not-so-)smartphone. :-) -virtualchoirboy
If your office allows the use of Google Docs, don't be surprised if this happens again. They recently added TTS. -unrenowned
That's what we figured might be the case except our system is you either go to our website to send a support case or you contact your help desk and they put in the ticket for you - maybe the helpdesk got some new toy and didn't tell us yet :P or the one taking the call was super literal in noting down the call -Angelace |
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2497.
Subject: I think the user has it handled
My instance of Firefox has many times gotten that "fast-scan" virusy page from images that were found through Google images. (Let me know if you want more detail.)
I uninstalled Firefox, but feel like I should do a virus scan to make sure the machine is not infected.
Thanks!
[By :mrsleep / 2011-04-13] [Top]
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Comments
Uninstall his pr0n. -ravensentinel
That thing scared the hell out of my mom :-) I shut it down (just to make it stop) and explained to my mom that it was just bait. She got the point. Oh, and her AV runs every night. -AngrySup
My iPod went to one of those sites. I nearly laughed my ass off at the site trying to convince me my iPod Touch was running Windows XP and had more viruses than there are bits of capacity on the thing. -linuxmatt
The first time I saw it I was dual booting XP and FC8. Freaked out, started looking for my "virus tools" folder on the desktop and realized i hadent booted XP that morning. -inuyasharules |
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2496.
Subject: Wii Installation
(Swear to God…this is not an April Fools Joke)
Captn92,
Can you install the new Wii Console in the cafeteria tonight with XXXXX’s assistance. If we need to install another shelf to hold the unit and also install a wire mold on the wall to conceal the wires XXXXX can perform these mechanical task if required.
Thank you,
(Non IT - Facilities Manager)
[By :Captn92 / 2011-04-01] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Email
Comments
... freely available to whoever wants to play? If so- you suck. I'm surprised we have a working (and I say that loosely) ice machine in our break room. -Aelin236
Our shop has a Wii in the breakroom under lock and key. Nice to look at but seems that only management can play it. -techinator
seriously.. it's a break room/cafeteria..but a Wii?...I've seen how these users treat their equipment and workstations...that thing will be broken in less than a month...I predidct the first complaint about hogging time in less than two weeks. -Captn92
you can stream netflix on those. -Icelator
We have a Wii in our tech lounge (reserved for just our department). It goes unused most of the time. -CelticSkyhawk |
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2495.
Subject: RE: It's done
Hooked up @ 0800hrs.
[By :ravensentinel / 2011-02-15] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Email
Comments
Detail req,
SL? specs? duration? expectations met?
Plz advise -Harm
I get a lot of these things, they usually provide a detailed reference to a Service Request that I did not enter. This is a result of 'chain-of-command' sort of provisioning where my original request is used to make others to separate organizations. -TieDyedDinosaur
i was thinking more along the lines the person was bragging about hooking up - yea.. i have to look up to find the gutter -Harm
Me too...that's why I thought it was HILARIOUS and had to share...0800 though. I'm barely awake and through my first Mountain Dew by that time. :) -ravensentinel
coulda been the overnight shift .. OR sobering up the next morning nookie! a quick go afor i hafta gleave! -Harm
Morning sex can be great. -Stryker One |
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2493.
Subject: Email title of the day
Got this from one of our techs reporting a problem:
Server outage in the middle of writhing tickets.
[By :Angelace / 2011-01-19] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Email
Comments
One of those tendrils must've got the old-school guillotine switch we all know is back there somewhere. Y'know, the one marked 'In case of Robot Uprising' -LDFeral
Along with reeling and fainting in coils? -AnneBWalsh
LDFeral -- I seem to recall a novel (set in the Shatner-verse, of course) where Ambassador Kirk puts a final end to the Borg in exactly that manner -- he goes to the planet where they modified V'Ger, their home world, finds the knife switch, and throws it (but there's so much power going through it that it also kills him. Again.) [Shatner is not the best novelist...] -Captain Trips
Peters Evil Overlord list item number 9: I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such. -ecoli
I preferred the Vendetta novel. Remember the planet eater from classic Trek? Yeah, that was the prototype of a weapon built by the Preservers to defeat The Borg. -Transkaren
I think Burkiss was affecting my thought patterns when I first read that ticket email *hides* -Angelace |
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2490.
Subject: Fecal Management System - Hollister
really not surprised... I've always though Hollister should be pushed through a fecal management system.
[By :CelticSkyhawk / 2010-11-18] [Top]
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I thought that was to manage the quality fertilizer coming out of his talking hole... -ChildofCthulhu
Why is it I'm thinking of Red Dwarf episodes? -PoglaTheGrate |
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2489.
Subject: Dump body with compressor
(That was the subject line on an co-worker's email. I didn't read the email but was speculating if it was about heavy machinery or maybe a serial killer's To-Do list.)
[By :Tekkie / 2010-11-18] [Top]
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Comments
/me innocents -DedSysOp
"Subject: Fecal Management System - Hollister" really not surprised... I've always though Hollister should be pushed through a fecal management system. -CelticSkyhawk
Sorry, that was meant to be a new entry. -CelticSkyhawk |
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2488.
Subject: Perfomance problems with the PC
Thats it. This is the entire content from a ticket we received this morning.
[By :Quark / 2010-11-10] [Top]
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Comments
That's like the aviation one - "Something loose in the cockpit." Response: "Tightened something in the cockpit" -Gerund
My preferred aviator snark is "Port main tire almost needs replacing" Sign off== "Almost replaced Port Main Tire" -jerrybear
Complaint: "Autoland function rough." Response: "Autoland function not installed on this aircraft." -AnneBWalsh
"Ordered Viagra and Enzyte for computer" - close ticket. -ecoli
" gave PC roids, coke and redbull" -Harm
The PC is standing just offstage, waiting for his cue, muttering to himself "I dunno if I can do this, I don't understand my character's motivations..." -MeanDean
"Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear" - "Evidence removed"
"Target rader hums." - "Reprogrammed Target radar with lyrics." -ApolloSZ
"IFF does not work in OFF position." "IFF not supposed to work in OFF position." -VoiceOfSanity
That's more detailed than most of the workorders I get: "HP Computer". Really? I couldn't tell. "Dell laptop brought in" FOR WHAT?!?! for the love of Pete. -MamaTech
I am a flight sim geek just had to add to this. (Got me LOLin at work and ppl looking at me funny)
Problem: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Solution: Took hammer away from midget. -SyntheticCoyote
Well there's always Viagra, but before going the pharmaceutical route I would check into any underlying health issues, such as smoking cigarettes, being overweight, or diabetes, that might cause performance problems. -thx1138 |
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2486.
Subject: Found retainer
Office-wide e-mail: "If you lost your Invisalign retainer near $location (and recently ate peanuts) let me know."
[By :Mer / 2010-09-22] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Email
Comments
Ewww... -NightSteel
On second thought, I guess that's better than 'if you lost your Invisalign retainer in the bathroom (and recently ate corn)'... -NightSteel
LOL and EWWWW -THETECHFROMHELL
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, there goes the appetite! -vacuumtubes
NightSteel - Ummmm, yeah, saw that once....retainers sitting on the toilet in a bar bathroom. -redevil34 |
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2485.
Subject: Network?????
An Email from my beloved but somewhat technically challenged Dad, who recently went from dialup to broadband (finally!!!):
"$Program is reporting that I am on a network. To my knowledge I am not. I did a Google search and determined that my router may be causing the problem."
To which I replied: "Uh, yes you are. You're on the largest computer network in the world, the Internet."
To think, once he told me "I went to a computer class too!" What he forgot to mention was, it was back in the '80s, and guess who wrote all his programs......
[By :tech4alltrades / 2010-09-21] [Top]
Comment on this Customer Email
Comments
Lemme guess... BASIC? COBOL? Fortran? -Voz
nah, probably forth, lisp, or db2 -McSmiley
ABACUS -DarkRookie
80's, I'm guessing RPG. -TieDyedDinosaur
Basic I wrote in the 7th grade. Fortran took me until 10th grade. Ahh... the memories. Graduated from High School in '85. -AngrySup
I can't be the only one who did Apple Pascal in the 80s. -udoshan
z80 Assembler code...ouch! ('78) -Captain Trips
1990 - Programming Assembler into a Radar system using CORE Memory ( You know, where you use a pin or other stylus type items to set a DIP switch to 1 or 0 ) and the WMMCS ( Pronounced Wimmicks ) system which we needed to load the OS using Paper Tape ). It was a step sideways from programming in a CICS Mainframe enviroment using either JCL ( for the print jobs ) or ROSCOE. (Was a Tape Librarian in 89 for the AMHDAL equivilent of a IBM 3xxx Series) -Necros
6 years old, 2nd grade, Commodore Vic 20 then C64. BASIC and Assembly. At 6 I could type more than it could remember. Tape drive then 1541 5 1/4 floppy drive. first Word Processor was SpeedScript; typed in myself from Compute! Magazine...good times... -IantoJones |
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2484.
Subject: Nose picker
Another one of my thoughtful boss's e-mails; this was after, in an inventory e-mail, he thanked me for helping him reset a password for a BlackBerry.......... "It has been correctly brought to my attention that I failed to extend thanks to all who participated in the successful swap of this device. As a matter of setting the record straight, the additional people need to be thanked publically (or at least in this email):
$Coworker for her tireless work retrieving the device from the closet and giving it to $Person because I forgot to take a seed stock phone on my way out yesterday.
My parents, Ed and Nancy, for whom, without, I would not be here to type thank you notes.
My third grade teacher Mrs. Clemons, for her dedication to the Maryland public school system, and her faith that I would one day stop being a nose picker.
To $Upper_Supervisor for trusting me to ask others to do the work of the Unit.
To Buck Belue, the quarterback of the 1979-82 Georgia Bulldogs football team, for teaching me about the option offense, and how handing the ball off to Hershel Walker was probably in the best interest of the team.
And finally to the makers of Mickey’s Big Mouth, who taught me how malt liquor served in a jug which could be used secondarily as a spittoon or ashtray, that the best things in life usually have multiple purposes.
Thanks to all -"
[By :Mer / 2010-09-17] [Top]
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"And the Oscar goes to...Orville E. Fudpucker...." -vacuumtubes
LOL @vacuumtubes -THETECHFROMHELL
I like your boss. -burrkiss |
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2483.
Subject: Repetitive Redundancy
Yet another email with yet another screenshot that clearly states the "problem." Change your F*CKING PASSWORD. It SAYS YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR F*CKING PASSWORD.
[By :MrsCheezil / 2010-09-04] [Top]
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but I like my password! =D -desseb
Fishy: "It says I have to restart my computer. So what should I do?" **Facepalm!** -KrazerKap
KrazerKap: whatever you do, DO NOT RESTART YOUR COMPUTER!!! don't give into the man, man. that's what they want you to do -razmann
"It says click 'okay' to continue. What should I do?" "Is the 'okay' button the only button?" "Yes" "Well, I guess you'd better click on 'okay'." What tech has not taken this call? -Captain Trips |
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2482.
Subject: Will Smith would be...proud?
As I hear the CSR confirm a business e-mail address, I am stopped in my tracks..."Your e-mail is 'jiggy6969@$majorprovider.com', is that right?"
[By :ActingUpAgain / 2010-08-23] [Top]
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Getting geeky with it. Nah. No more 'nah nahs' No-no. -LDFeral
We had a guy who called in to get a pwrd reset on his email account. sukmybalz@provider,net -THETECHFROMHELL |
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2480.
Subject: Model number of the day
Or self explanation of computer condition: XXXXXX-01P00P. No wonder it's a POS that borked itself installing xp service pack 3
[By :drachen / 2010-08-12] [Top]
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Oooooooooooo that smell. -Stryker One
Too bad P isn't a hexadecimal digit... At least we still have F00F, and DEAD to fall on. -linuxmatt
if it's an AMD box, just ran across that. use an XP CD to start in Recovery Console. Get into the right copy of Windows, then type "disable intelppm" at the prompt & reboot. Worked a treat for me. -CTYankee
special 2Grl1Cup edition -stiffarm |
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2478.
Subject: This is the guy I work for
This is actually from my boss, after I told him about running into someone who remembered him: "At least he didn’t say (or at least you didn’t repeat) that I was the most physically repugnant human being he had ever seen. To the point of severe abdominal cramping and gag reflex avert your eyes only to be forced to glance again kind of train wreck. You know, a stark reminder of God’s cruelty, or sense of humor. That wouldn’t be a good way to be remembered. Unless I could find a traveling freak show, and make a few bucks. Then I’d sit in the chair behind the glass only to be gawked at by passers-by, $5 a look-see. We’d retire to the trailer after the show, ashamed, albeit resigned to my plight as BoBo the Dog Faced Boy. Sure, the recent release of the souvenirs and early sales figures showed promise, and the base pay wasn’t too bad (I was still the only “attraction” being offered 5% of the gate receipts), but I knew I had more. More to offer. More than this. I suppose it is better to be remembered at all, even if negatively, than to be forgotten."
[By :Mer / 2010-07-26] [Top]
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*amused* -Grue
Makes me wonder what he'd say if the person knew the boss ... on second thought: maybe not. -PCChaos
Shenanigans! A witty, intelligent boss? It cannot be! -AussieFoot
I verily send thy boss an internet hug. Please print and distribute. -Madrigorne |
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2477.
Subject: Our Irony Goes to 11...
Taken directly from a customer's website:
"$Aviation Company continues to strive to bring our customer the qauilty product, service, and support that we come to be known for!"
[By :ActingUpAgain / 2010-07-15] [Top]
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Well, at least it isn't from $SpellCheck Company. -HateMyJob620
Tell me its for an advertising company. -burrkiss
google search reveals the morons....I would not buy a plane from them....ugg -Hawk
Wow, really cuts down the list- good call Hawk. It's very... grey. -LDFeral
website updated - and yet no one thought to spell check. HMM.. i have a feeling there's more then a few upside down altimeters and cross wired switches -Harm
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley." -objekt404 |
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