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5973.
Adding "i am awesome -darkrookie" is forbidden in any tip. Addendum: I no longer allowed to add anything extra to a tip that is not relevant to said tip.
[By :DarkRookie / 2012-05-21] [Top]
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I have had that message on that tip since I first created it, 6 weeks ago. -DarkRookie
I used to have a mangler who hated my tag lines in my instant messenger. "What want what? By *WHEN*?" It's why I still keep it visible, just because he can't remove it now.
-VoiceOfSanity
I'm guessing the phrase "thirteen inches of dangling fury" would be right out, too. -MeanDean
On a related note, while filling out paperwork to see a doctor, they have the usual lines for first and last names. However, they also have a line for "Name you'd like to be addresses as", oh so many possibilities to enter here. I was considering "My Lord and Master", but that's taken. -Stryker One
request i be addreessed as "Batman" -Harm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoX-HkOcEuE
I'm Batman -burrkiss
I had a very similar convo with manglement just the other day. I am no longer allowed to bash the tech for failing to print a test page to a "Fixed" printer. nor can I claim Layer 8 Error or ID-10T error in any helldesk tickets.
-PhishPhucker |
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5972.
The minute you take the SAN down to migrate it to a new OS, everyone will ask you for anything and everything and only the things that the documenation you will need to accomplish said task will be on the SAN you just took down.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-21] [Top]
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From the hip troubleshooting time. Outlook doesn't open? Reimage. Getting message on boot saying fan has failed? Reimage. System is currently on fire? Reimage. System is infected with a pr0n virus? Search system for anything new, and then reimage. -DarkRookie |
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5971.
I am no longer allowed to call an incorrect transfer from server team to us a HAL-023 error any longer. :(
[By :DarkRookie / 2012-05-21] [Top]
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Go for 'RTS; Layer 8 Issue'. They'll love that. -LDFeral
My favourite is "Error status - PICNIC" and I am determined to put it in code somewhere. -Holdfast |
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5970.
A watched "Time Remaining:" status will stay at 51 minutes for ~3 hours then suddenly change to 6 hours remaining when you look away.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-21] [Top]
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"And Einstein would look at this and say, 'E does not equal MC squared. E equals five to the monkey-nine...'"</izzard> -AmazingKreskin
One of my favourites: xkcd.com/612 -Erraticus |
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5969.
No matter how many times you tell your users that such and such service/server will not be available as of this date and time; even if you are nice enough to give them 3 weeks notice, you will still get half of your users that will ask "Is the server down?"
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-21] [Top]
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3 weeks is way to much notice for users with an average attention span of 5 minutes. -AmazingKreskin
Don't forget the people who call and say "I don't read the e-mail that IS sends out." - Starfury
That's the new rule I'm implementing. If I already answered your question in the original email I sent, which I usually do, then you need to find that email. Next question; did you delete my email? -ravensentinel
Had a user many eons ago that set a rule in his Outlook mailbox to auto-delete any message from the Help Desk. This was found after him complaining of a none-response after he called/emailed a problem in.... Fun times. -BayouTech
Heh, sounds like you need to duct tape a hard copy of any emails to his monitor. -spectreoflife |
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5968.
That anyone will understand what you mean when you ask how much it is to buy the third screen for a notebook after you've spilled liquid on said screen then taken the front bezel off, taken the LCD out and then taken the LCD -apart-.
[By :spectreoflife / 2012-05-18] [Top]
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5967.
"But, I didn't read it!" is not a valid excuse when you say you didn't know that bringing in your laptop every 90 days is a requirement on the single page agreement you've already signed.
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-05-17] [Top]
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You expect them to *read*??? You know how the (l)users think, things that contradict their beliefs they ignore/deny, especially if it is in writing and they signed it...
-VoiceOfSanity
That's why I cover the important points before they sign out a machine. if they can't/won't undertand/read the lawyereze. -McSmiley
Wait... VOS, since when do yo expect the (l)users to **think**??? Think requires at least two neurons to exchange some electrons. Their single neuron can only bounce around in the void. -buitre
McSmiley, wait till you have to do that with a lawyer! -redevil34 |
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5966.
If I send you an e-mail on Monday, to come up on Tuesday and you're a no-show, it's OK to e-mail me Thursday afternoon to come up when I have other people scheduled.
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-05-17] [Top]
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Whoops, thought I hit Misconception instead of Tech Rule :P My bad -skippytpodar
Might still be apropos, since it seems that it's usually the case. -LDFeral |
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5965.
TS House rule: If I get a new game (Diablo III), the hard drive I install it to will fail midway through the download. After getting a new drive and getting it downloaded part way again, the OS drive will fail also.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-16] [Top]
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after that, the ram goes...then you just build a new one. -gashach
(makes lame excuses and exits the future asteroid impact zone.) -ChildofCthulhu
Not to worry - the Bliz servers were failing just as bad so you didn't miss much... :-) -virtualchoirboy
and then he built a third castle.... and it burned down ;) -McSmiley |
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5964.
Even if you are the first one in the building so you can do that server maintenance to clear the error that's been annoying you, as soon as you shut off the server, someone will show up asking if the server is down then question you and your equipments reliablity then proceed to insult you to the effect of "I'm copying everything back to my desktop!"....to which I want to inform them "Your profile is stored on my servers anyway...."...Muwahahahaha!
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-11] [Top]
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next time respond : we don't have a "the server" -gashach
It's even better when they refer to it as "MY SERVER". -ChildofCthulhu
We get that here a lot..."Is the server down?" My usual response is "Which one?" Usually they don't like that question and get a bit pissed off when they have to be more specific. -Starfury
We have one hundred and twenty-seven 'The Servers,' to which do you refer? The Server that is Blue, The Server that is Green? The Server that has one meg, or runs Symb-een? The Server with a Red Hat, or The Server we have to lean? There are many The Servers, small and tall; Which is Your Server, do tell us all! -LDFeral
three points to LD-'Seuss'-Feral -TheCyberwolfe
(Luser with hands on hips and exasperated tone) Whaddyamean "which server"? MY SERVER, DUH!! (Cue Tapping Foot) -ChildofCthulhu
Which server...the one that is down...DUH stupid nerd -neuman1812
It becomes a real question in our case. I have lost track of how many servers we have at corporate and our two colo's, not to mention over 600 locations with one file server and up to three print servers. How many servers do we have? I'd say it's less than infinity. -Captain Trips |
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5963.
It's amazing how a hair-on-fire issue, if ignored, becomes a non-issue if left alone long enough. During my server install the last 2 weeks, a user kept telling me how his old broken Xerox scanner won't work anymore after installing the new Xerox work center drivers (which scans). He "reminded" me every hour or so that it was still broken. Now, two weeks later and done with the installations, and haven't heard a peep from him. I want to quote MIB "Yours; old and busted, mine; the new hotness!"
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-09] [Top]
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"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate of everyone drops to zero." </fight club> -AmazingKreskin
Cardiac arrest, if ignored long enough, becomes a non-issue. -Stryker One
Stryker- It's still an issue, it's just that the urgency really, really fades. -Voz |
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