5979.
When making a message for myself to hang on my wall do to the amount of screw ups I have had lately the messages "You need to stop f###### up hardware tickets" and "You need to stop screwing up hardware tickets" are not allowed but "You need to stop messing up hardware tickets" is.
I used f###### instead of the actually word on the print out
[By :  DarkRookie / 2012-06-18] [Top]
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*due not do. -Harm
Dont mess with the 1st Priestess of Burrkiss. I shall bend you over my knee and..........punish you. -burrkiss
burkiss you forgot "in the name of the moon" -Icelator |
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5978.
Never badmouth the system in front of the user. Period. Our internal system issues are just that, internal. (Seriously, if you have worked in tech support for a certain period of time, you should have some sense of basic decorum and practice.)
[By :TechieSidhe / 2012-06-15] [Top]
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Exception: If you don't support system luser is having trouble with and the people who do support it are a bunch of stupid script monkeys. -DarkRookie
UNLESS it is universaly agreed upon that the system is incredibly dated and extremly limited and will one day be replaced hopefully soon. -Harm
There is a big difference between "yeah, the server is having a temper tantrum today" and telling the user the multiple faults of the system in detail. The users already don't like the system, but we're won't (and can't)change it, and us badmouthing it isn't going to help buy in and cooperation. Plus, any information you tell them gets convoluted and ends up getting used against IS later. -TechieSidhe
"It's taking a little bit longer than usual to get that RMA processed, please bear with me a moment." vs "Wow. Either everybody is getting an RMA at once or the server threw up on itself." -linuxmatt
There's discussing the failings of a system and *discussing* the failing of a system. When the end user is the one grousing about how bad the system is, all you do is nod your head and/or commiserate with the user. When it's a co-worker grousing about how bad the system is, that's when you can talk about the Satan-spawned, job-perpetuating system analysts that pushed this collective piece of garbage onto the company's user base.
-VoiceOfSanity
and then there is the entity known for the exec that bought it aka S.A.P. -PolarCoyote
S.A.P. Mother of God! Whomever created that steaming pile needs to be torn into little bitty pieces and buried alive. -Stryker One |
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5977.
If you sound like a woman on the phone, I will, by default, call you ma'am. Don't get offended if I do so, and please don't ask to talk to someone else, because I will guarantee you, they will almost certainly make that mistake as well with a voice like that. I'm here to help you, not piss you off...
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-06-04] [Top]
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*sigh* I've been called ma'am IN PERSON because of my voice. It's annoying but, as you said, not really your fault. -Aelin236
I've been called ma'am because of my hair once in a while :P -skippytpodar
"Ma'am? No, sir, I said 'man'. Sorry, it's an old habit of mine, I'll make an extra effort to address you as sir." -Calydor
@Calydor - I have had strange looks from people for calling them sir. In the UK it is mainly associated with the military and history. "Old" people seem to like it. The definition of old varies though. -Holdfast
Skippy - that's because your hair is so PRETTY. I am very jealous. -Madrigorne
I grew up learning to say sir and ma'am as a sign of respec to people regardless of age. In the last 10 years I have had a lot of people get upset with me because that makes them feel old. -jwinc7
NEVER call a woman "Ma'am". It makes 'em feel old. PS Calling the old slag tending bar "young miss" just might get you an extra pint. Or a drink in the face. Either way it's free. -AngrySup
It makes me feel old when they call me that, but rather than get pissy about it I'll just tell them it's ok to drop the ma'am and formal speak. It's a sign of respect, so no point in being angry at someone showing respect. -reveriel
When you've been in the military, it becomes ingrained in you that "Sir" is for officers. Hence the old joke, "Don't call me Sir! I happen to work for a living!"
-VoiceOfSanity |
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5976.
Just because I can actually decipher what you mean by "I think I keep that in my Yahoo even though it's Word." doesn't mean you aren't talking in gibberish. It's just that I've learned to translate the gibberish as a survival skill... much like I'd eventually drink my own urine if you made me dehydrated enough.
[By :linkv / 2012-05-24] [Top]
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it can be used as brain bleach in an emergency -stiffarm |
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5974.
I honestly don't give a rat's ass what kind of printer it is, or how it's connected to your computer, you still need to contact the Help Desk first and have them put in a ticket. I'm sure you like having your work documented as well, don't you?
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-05-24] [Top]
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And the best part... all she needed was to put paper into the printer. -skippytpodar
I can't think of the number of folks who this applied to... "The printer's not working, you need to fix it." "No, you need to put in a ticket to have it fixed, we don't work on printers." "But it's important!" "So is my lunch."
-VoiceOfSanity |
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5973.
Adding "i am awesome -darkrookie" is forbidden in any tip. Addendum: I no longer allowed to add anything extra to a tip that is not relevant to said tip.
[By : DarkRookie / 2012-05-21] [Top]
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I have had that message on that tip since I first created it, 6 weeks ago. -DarkRookie
I used to have a mangler who hated my tag lines in my instant messenger. "What want what? By *WHEN*?" It's why I still keep it visible, just because he can't remove it now.
-VoiceOfSanity
I'm guessing the phrase "thirteen inches of dangling fury" would be right out, too. -MeanDean
On a related note, while filling out paperwork to see a doctor, they have the usual lines for first and last names. However, they also have a line for "Name you'd like to be addresses as", oh so many possibilities to enter here. I was considering "My Lord and Master", but that's taken. -Stryker One
request i be addreessed as "Batman" -Harm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoX-HkOcEuE
I'm Batman -burrkiss
I had a very similar convo with manglement just the other day. I am no longer allowed to bash the tech for failing to print a test page to a "Fixed" printer. nor can I claim Layer 8 Error or ID-10T error in any helldesk tickets.
-PhishPhucker |
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5972.
The minute you take the SAN down to migrate it to a new OS, everyone will ask you for anything and everything and only the things that the documenation you will need to accomplish said task will be on the SAN you just took down.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-21] [Top]
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From the hip troubleshooting time. Outlook doesn't open? Reimage. Getting message on boot saying fan has failed? Reimage. System is currently on fire? Reimage. System is infected with a pr0n virus? Search system for anything new, and then reimage. -DarkRookie |
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5971.
I am no longer allowed to call an incorrect transfer from server team to us a HAL-023 error any longer. :(
[By : DarkRookie / 2012-05-21] [Top]
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Go for 'RTS; Layer 8 Issue'. They'll love that. -LDFeral
My favourite is "Error status - PICNIC" and I am determined to put it in code somewhere. -Holdfast |
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5970.
A watched "Time Remaining:" status will stay at 51 minutes for ~3 hours then suddenly change to 6 hours remaining when you look away.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-21] [Top]
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"And Einstein would look at this and say, 'E does not equal MC squared. E equals five to the monkey-nine...'"</izzard> -AmazingKreskin
One of my favourites: xkcd.com/612 -Erraticus |
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5969.
No matter how many times you tell your users that such and such service/server will not be available as of this date and time; even if you are nice enough to give them 3 weeks notice, you will still get half of your users that will ask "Is the server down?"
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-21] [Top]
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3 weeks is way to much notice for users with an average attention span of 5 minutes. -AmazingKreskin
Don't forget the people who call and say "I don't read the e-mail that IS sends out." -Starfury
That's the new rule I'm implementing. If I already answered your question in the original email I sent, which I usually do, then you need to find that email. Next question; did you delete my email? -ravensentinel
Had a user many eons ago that set a rule in his Outlook mailbox to auto-delete any message from the Help Desk. This was found after him complaining of a none-response after he called/emailed a problem in.... Fun times. -BayouTech
Heh, sounds like you need to duct tape a hard copy of any emails to his monitor. -spectreoflife |
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5968.
That anyone will understand what you mean when you ask how much it is to buy the third screen for a notebook after you've spilled liquid on said screen then taken the front bezel off, taken the LCD out and then taken the LCD -apart-.
[By :spectreoflife / 2012-05-18] [Top]
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5967.
"But, I didn't read it!" is not a valid excuse when you say you didn't know that bringing in your laptop every 90 days is a requirement on the single page agreement you've already signed.
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-05-17] [Top]
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You expect them to *read*??? You know how the (l)users think, things that contradict their beliefs they ignore/deny, especially if it is in writing and they signed it...
-VoiceOfSanity
That's why I cover the important points before they sign out a machine. if they can't/won't undertand/read the lawyereze. -McSmiley
Wait... VOS, since when do yo expect the (l)users to **think**??? Think requires at least two neurons to exchange some electrons. Their single neuron can only bounce around in the void. -buitre
McSmiley, wait till you have to do that with a lawyer! -redevil34 |
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5966.
If I send you an e-mail on Monday, to come up on Tuesday and you're a no-show, it's OK to e-mail me Thursday afternoon to come up when I have other people scheduled.
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-05-17] [Top]
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Whoops, thought I hit Misconception instead of Tech Rule :P My bad -skippytpodar
Might still be apropos, since it seems that it's usually the case. -LDFeral |
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5965.
TS House rule: If I get a new game (Diablo III), the hard drive I install it to will fail midway through the download. After getting a new drive and getting it downloaded part way again, the OS drive will fail also.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-16] [Top]
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after that, the ram goes...then you just build a new one. -gashach
(makes lame excuses and exits the future asteroid impact zone.) -ChildofCthulhu
Not to worry - the Bliz servers were failing just as bad so you didn't miss much... :-) -virtualchoirboy
and then he built a third castle.... and it burned down ;) -McSmiley |
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5964.
Even if you are the first one in the building so you can do that server maintenance to clear the error that's been annoying you, as soon as you shut off the server, someone will show up asking if the server is down then question you and your equipments reliablity then proceed to insult you to the effect of "I'm copying everything back to my desktop!"....to which I want to inform them "Your profile is stored on my servers anyway...."...Muwahahahaha!
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-11] [Top]
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next time respond : we don't have a "the server" -gashach
It's even better when they refer to it as "MY SERVER". -ChildofCthulhu
We get that here a lot..."Is the server down?" My usual response is "Which one?" Usually they don't like that question and get a bit pissed off when they have to be more specific. -Starfury
We have one hundred and twenty-seven 'The Servers,' to which do you refer? The Server that is Blue, The Server that is Green? The Server that has one meg, or runs Symb-een? The Server with a Red Hat, or The Server we have to lean? There are many The Servers, small and tall; Which is Your Server, do tell us all! -LDFeral
three points to LD-'Seuss'-Feral -TheCyberwolfe
(Luser with hands on hips and exasperated tone) Whaddyamean "which server"? MY SERVER, DUH!! (Cue Tapping Foot) -ChildofCthulhu
Which server...the one that is down...DUH stupid nerd -neuman1812
It becomes a real question in our case. I have lost track of how many servers we have at corporate and our two colo's, not to mention over 600 locations with one file server and up to three print servers. How many servers do we have? I'd say it's less than infinity. -Captain Trips |
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5963.
It's amazing how a hair-on-fire issue, if ignored, becomes a non-issue if left alone long enough. During my server install the last 2 weeks, a user kept telling me how his old broken Xerox scanner won't work anymore after installing the new Xerox work center drivers (which scans). He "reminded" me every hour or so that it was still broken. Now, two weeks later and done with the installations, and haven't heard a peep from him. I want to quote MIB "Yours; old and busted, mine; the new hotness!"
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-09] [Top]
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"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate of everyone drops to zero." </fight club> -AmazingKreskin
Cardiac arrest, if ignored long enough, becomes a non-issue. -Stryker One
Stryker- It's still an issue, it's just that the urgency really, really fades. -Voz |
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5962.
If you ask for my advice on an issue and promptly choose to ignore it... DO NOT expect to get ANY advice from me in the future...
[By :TrueTenacity / 2012-05-09] [Top]
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Heh, I see you've met my wife. -VIPERsssss
And mine. -charred
Mine as well. :p -SwedishChef
And my co-worker... -reveriel
Apparently my wife has three other husbands. -thx1138
Obviously none of you are married to anyone in MY family. If you were, you'd keep getting advice whether you asked for it or not. -ManyHats |
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5961.
If you reply to my email telling me that you didn't get my email... I shall brand you a fuck-nut and ignore you forever...
[By :TrueTenacity / 2012-05-08] [Top]
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What do those words up there say? -ActingUpAgain
I have actually done that in all seriousness. There have been a few times that I get an encrypted email that for some reason Outlook can't decrypt even though my certs are properly installed. I have to respond to the person letting them know I can't read it and ask them to resend. -jwinc7 |
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5959.
When you travel for two weeks and are packing all the dirty laundry back into the suitcase it won't fit as well on the trip out and some of it will end up in the carry on bag. 2 Weeks in San Diego and 2 days of sun.
[By :Starfury / 2012-05-04] [Top]
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Clearly, you are not well versed in suitcase-cramming. -Stryker One
If you put your dirty clothes under the mattress the night before they take up less room in your suitcase. A) because they are mashed flat or B) because you forget and leave them there! -TieDyedDinosaur
Here in Sandy Eggo, we call this time of year "May Gray." It will be followed by "June Gloom." After that, sunny and hot until it rains in December. Ho, hum, another shitty day in paradise. -Captain Trips
Except when that May Gray & June Gloom continues on through the summer, otherwise described by the (in)famous weatherman John Coleman as "No Sky July" and "August Foggest"... -MadJack
These aren't my boxer shorts, man. They bend! /Dave Lister, after Kryten does the washing. -Erraticus
@ Mad Jack: ... Unless you go east past La Mesa, and who wants to do that? -MeanDean
After getting home and opening the bag...the TSA had "randomly selected" my bag to search. hope they enjoyed digging through my dirty clothing. -Starfury |
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5958.
If you are here to maintenance the AC units, just because you think I know computers (slight understatement), doesn't mean you get to stop working to try to explain every minute detail about all your family network and computer issues. You will however get a detailed explanation of my consulting fee's and my card.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-02] [Top]
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$75 an hour (4 hr min) + a $10 fine for each time I have to swear at your issue + $2 for each piece of malware removed + $15 for piece of software installed + $10 a foot for each cable ran + $25 a foot for each new cable ran. -DarkRookie
Double that if you want to watch, triple if you make commentary. -McSmiley
Quadruple if you, "are right", regardless of what reality says! -Voz |
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5956.
When submitting a tool for the agents to use, make sure the <title> tag doesn't read: Templates, so many fucking templates.
[By : DarkRookie / 2012-04-24] [Top]
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"SO MANY BUTTONS!!"</roger> -AmazingKreskin
One template to rule them all, one template to find them. One template to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. MordorSoft, perhaps? -Erraticus
I know know the name of my next business venture... -virusjtg |
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5955.
Okay, OEMs... ALL OF YOU... Dell, HP, Toshiba... Every last one of you... NEEDS TO STOP PUTTING A TRIAL ANTIVIRUS ON YOUR PCs. Just don't fucking bother, because not only will it expire after the two months it'd be good for, the fucking fish won't even register it to start the trial in the first place. Yet they keep strutting their shit on the interwebs, saying "My compooter iz safe! I got da Nortins!" Then they bring it to me after it gets hosed, and act like they never heard of viruses before... because it's been 1996 for a while now...
Seriously, don't even do the trial. Users need to be told that security is THEIR job, not their OEM's. As an aside: I'd love to tell Norton/McAfee/Kaspersky how often I take a user they paid to get, via a kickback to an OEM, and show them the wonders of AVG.
[By :linkv / 2012-04-24] [Top]
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Avira... if you're going to put a free anti-virus on a machine, go with Avira. Less impact on the system than AVG in my opinion.
-VoiceOfSanity
The small OEM I use has a different policy - they put MS Security Essentials on every PC that goes out unless the customer or reseller specifies otherwise. No Norton or McAfee trial shit, but a basic level of protection until such time as the user or IT guy can put what they want on it. It uninstalls quickly and cleanly, too. This isn't expressing a preference for MSSE (I much prefer Avast or AVG) but at least it's free and legal to use for business as well as residential purposes. -Gromit |
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5954.
The headset on an iPhone won't work if the port on the iPhone is full of lint. There was 1/4" of lint in the phone and I'm not sure how that much accumulated there. I've had it for a few months (work phone) and it's in my laptop bag. I'm guessing the previous owner kept it in a pocket all the time.
[By :Starfury / 2012-04-23] [Top]
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I've heard of fuzzy logic before, but... -Lusus |
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5953.
You will know percisely who all the pot heads are in your schoolhouse and how many of them are your coworkers when you park at work and they greet you "Happy 4/20!"
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-04-20] [Top]
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wasn't it Hitlers birthday as well? (thats not a water pipe.. its a center peice Vase) -Harm
Thats not a hooka, its a air freshner. -burrkiss
Dammit! I don't get paid to next week. :( -DarkRookie
It's a combination hookah and coffee maker. Also makes julienne fries! -docbrown01
" Your Papers Please!" " Uhhh all i got is a pipe man." Zen you better come wiz Me!" -Harm |
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5952.
If you bring in your laptop in for updates, and I tell you that I will contact you when it is done, don't start bugging me every 45-60 minutes about when it will be done. It will only make my desire to actually help you dwindle further than the feeble amount it is already at, especially if the system logs on the laptop show just how little you really use it.
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-04-17] [Top]
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but what if you forgot? -SpiderRider3
Patience Youngling...Much time it takes to copy blackmail evidence and pr0n to a secure location for future use... -ChildofCthulhu |
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5951.
I will not feel obligated to defend the decision to purchase tons of expensive, proprietary, useless equipment... particularly because not only was I not involved in said decision, that decision was made before I even joined the company.
[By :linkv / 2012-04-17] [Top]
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Same thing happened to here! I didn't defend it. Instead, I complain to my boss each time their equipment causes me issues and reccommend the better solution. 2 years later and about a month of overtime paid to me, I'm getting what I wanted. -ravensentinel
copy that. the public sector has it bad. there is some hand-to-hand going on if there ever was any. -gnuckles
On getting the $decisionmakers to buy such useless crap, I subscribe to the "Big Bung Theory"... -lineswine |
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5950.
That the one function that is disabled in a piece of trial software is the sole function that you actually downloaded it for in the first place. Ancillary rule: The longer it took you to find said software on the web, ascertain that it provides the feature you want, check reviews for possible compatibility issues, download it, burn a bootable version to CD/Memory stick etc., the further it will let you proceed before flagging up that you're SOL. Oh well, at least I now have a list of programs that I know won't do what I want. Which is nice.
[By :Erraticus / 2012-04-12] [Top]
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There is always making it yourself -DarkRookie
For one of my class labs last night, my group spent the better part of an hour looking for a freeware tool for extracting PST data. I finally found one--but it requires an existing Outlook install. The lab computers don't have Outlook enabled, and nobody in the group uses it. -Dreamstalker
Each piece of trial software on the computers does some of what we need, but nothing does everything (and it's the 'everything' that none of it does where the problems arise). If I could do a roll-your-own forensic software suite that's tailored to each situation I'd be all over it. -Dreamstalker
I've been working with a PST extraction routine based on the PSTSDK. If you need more information, PM me... -chazz |
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5949.
Call Volume When you're working the early shift (5am) and are alone for 1.5+ hours you will either have 2 calls in that time period or 15 plus a slew of emails. The calls will not come in nice and neat...they'll come in 2-4 at a time instead. As a bonus the boss and other admins will call the special line while you're stuck on these calls and get upset when it's not picked up right away.
[By :Starfury / 2012-04-11] [Top]
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What's the "special lines" phone number? :) -ravensentinel
I think that is the line for "special" people... -Holdfast
The special line (Bat Phone) is a direct line to the helpdesk. It's only supposed to be used by IS people and is never given out to the masses. -Starfury
My momma told me I was special. -ravensentinel
So did mine. -DarkRookie
Yes but that's the window licking kind of special. Oh and the snozzberrys really do taste like snozzberrys -Crai
Oooooh, good Veruca Salt ref! -lineswine |
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5947.
If you're gonna neep about how a ticket wasn't done correctly, and how two people didn't get a printer added to their profile in addition to yours, nor how anyone came to your office or contacted you, make sure you get your facts straight, such as:
- how those two other people were never mentioned in the ticket at ALL
- how I went down there, and nobody in the office you specified knew who you were or where you were really located
- how I noted each time I called a grand total three times, but since you had no voicemail set up, couldn't leave a message to ask where you were really located
- how I sent two separate e-mails, asking when would be a good time to remotely connect to your computer so I could get the job done and with the proper information
- how YOU replied to one of those e-mails, despite the fact that in that reply, said that nobody contacted you at all regarding this ticket.
I swear my Monday is off to a great start...
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-04-09] [Top]
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5945.
The day grows incredibly long and the work is incredibly boring when you have gotten two really good nights of sleep.
[By : DarkRookie / 2012-04-04] [Top]
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Jay: Zed, don't you guys ever get any sleep around here? Zed: The twins keep us on Centaurian time, standard thirty-seven hour day. Give it a few months. You'll get used to it... or you'll have a psychotic episode. </MIB> -ChildofCthulhu
What is this "sleep" you speak of? <got maybe 4 hours last night, and 4.5 the night before. Can't remember past that.> -PsychoKittyB
define " NIghts of Good sleep" these are what now? i know the words individually, and have possible fantasies of what could be a memory of "Good Sleep" - but as a string the concept eludes me. -Harm
What is this "sleep" that you speak of? (checks his caffeine IV drip) -ecoli |
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5944.
If you tell me to install Ubuntu on a laptop, and watch me toil for hours trying to find drivers for the obscure wireless card. Don't, when I present it to you for testing and use, say that you didn't actually need it, and decided to keep the laptop that it was going to replace, especially since that was going to be my work laptop.
[By : Chalmrah / 2012-04-02] [Top]
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Sounds like a family member? A significant other perhaps? -sonofanarchy21
And don't be surprised when I present you with a bill for the time involved. Even if you are my spouse/parent/sibling. -SalParadise
OK, Fine, I'll keep your new one, and here's the bill! -Divinar
It was actually my boss :( -Chalmrah
Yay, overtime! Make the cunt pay, one way or another. -lineswine |
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5943.
A company that feeds it's employees bacon is a good company to work for. Too bad they didn't schedule any naptime for afterwards.
[By :frprinterwiz / 2012-03-30] [Top]
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"That's just The Itis!"</boondocks> -AmazingKreskin
free BACON??!!?!?!! where is this heaven on earth that provides gratis porcine goodness? -Harm
We cooked breakfast for dinner Thursday night and the house smelled like bacon...mmmm bacon -Starfury
I used to work for an insurance agency that supplied the entire company with breakfast every Friday as a morale boost/team builder thing. There was a rotation for whose turn it was to make/acquire breakfast. Most people went lazy with breakfast burritos. I made pancakes and bacon every time. :D -Aelin236 |
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5942.
Excitement: Realizing that you are currently driving a car that also contains a spider and an arachnophobe. (The spider in question was on the inside of the windshield on his side of the car. It was also the diameter of a pencil eraser.)
[By :Dante668 / 2012-03-26] [Top]
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That's a recipe for either a cracked windshield or a broken passenger side window (depending on the results of the Fight or Flight check). -AmazingKreskin
Would be both in my case, the scream would shatter the glass of both the wind shield AND the passenger window. -Calydor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCzXZfNIu3A&list=PL87DB3F7E8107A4AE&index=6&feature=plcp You'll love #1 -Starfury
http://tinyurl.com/cz58nau -objekt404
...the itsy bitsy spider caused a 24car pileup on the interstate this morning... -Madrigorne
You could always stomp on the brakes, slamming the passenger INTO said spider, resulting in spending the rest of the day on the side of the road as they loudly and repeatedly scream, "I am NOT getting back in that car!" -Voz
Reminds me of when I was in the car with an old house mate of mine. She came to a screeching halt in the middle of Parramatta Road and jumped out of the car because she was sure a spider had brushed her leg. It turn out to be one of these http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JFZk7MvW2IQ/TkDEq8fcqPI/AAAAAAAACNA/tELCRqBGrKs/s1600/koala.jpg that she had on her rear-view mirror -PoglaTheGrate
Just a few days ago, my mom picked me up to go somewhere. We hadn’t gone more than a mile and I saw a rat scamper across the dashboard. I mentioned it to her and she said “Oh that’s what that noise was”. She got it the next day. -Park7 |
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5941.
Dear Boss. Your email will get lost if you don't remind me once in a while. I will forget whatever "thing" you wanted me to do 4 weeks ago if you don't remind me. You will call me accusing me of not caring and joking around and not believe a word about the 4 projects, 3 applications I am building, 28 work orders, 14 purchase orders, 2 scripts, and multiple days of general maintenance I am single handedly handling and think I am joking and kidding. I will lose my raise. Thank you for the motivation!
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-03-26] [Top]
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4 Server upgrades, 3 gigs of RAM, for the 2 luser fish, and a headache the size of Texas! -KrazerKap |
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5940.
Admittedly stolen from Slashdot: Microsoft: Re-inventing square wheels.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-03-25] [Top]
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"Building better mousetraps. Selling them to beekeepers." (Ubersoft) -chazz
It's an upgrade from the triangular wheels 3.0. -stiffarm
No stiff arm, triangular wheels have one less bump, so square would be a downgrade -PoglaTheGrate
Pogla- but the angle you'd have to overcome to get it to "roll" would be that much more difficult! (OK, let's take it another step down, about a TWO sided wheel, and see how that rolls!) -Voz |
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5939.
The moment all your explorer windows go dark or stop responding; mentally, your head drops with a sigh and the thought scrolls through your head "here they come."
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-03-20] [Top]
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It's time to open MAB before the nasty blocks it, update MAB to the latest and let it do its thing. -Wraith556
What is this MAB you speak of? -ravensentinel
MAB == Microsoft Automatic Bluescreen??? -ecoli
Ahhh....a term I have not yet heard. -ravensentinel
Wasn't that the internal working title for Windows ME? -WinterWolf |
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5938.
Server hard drives will fail on the same schedule as when your warranty expires.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-03-19] [Top]
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Known item, dude. 30 seconds past the warranty expiry? Unit fail. *nod* -Grue
At least on the bright side, this was enough to finally convince the big cheese of the bean counters to let me fill out the rest of the empty hard drive bays and finally buy a disk filer. 27 TB worth! But now, I've realized the filer will not have any space on the PDU and the UPS is about tapped out, so I'm putting in 2 more UPS's....but the outlets in the room are all apparently on the same breaker...so now I need new power lines....the plot thickens lol. -ravensentinel
So... standard upgrade process? Ours went Upgrade Software Version > Upgrade servers and bandwith > Upgrade routers > Upgrade VOIP equipment > Upgrade UPS > Add new electrical circuits > Add new server room cooling. All direct or indirect results of going from 5.5 to 5.6. -LazyLemming |
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5937.
Despite what everyone thinks, just because I am IT, does not mean I support and/or know everything about anything with a plug. Just because the drop ceiling happens to have a projector and screen built into it, doesn't mean I know anything about drop ceilings.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-03-15] [Top]
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well -- you know a couple things.. its should be above your head.. and DRop seems to indicate it has the potential for known fact 1 not to always be the case. -Harm
I think that belief is fairly standard all over the world. I regularly get asked to fix or set up all sorts of things. I still want to know WTF are we still using faxes for though. I do draw the lime at ECGs, syringe drivers and other fun medical kit though! -Holdfast
corollary - that because I work for an ISP that I should know the website for every single page in existence or that ever existed. -frprinterwiz |
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5936.
Despite the many and varied improvements & innovations done to elevators, the one thing they still cannot do is read minds, so you must still press the button corresponding to the floor you wish to go...
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-03-13] [Top]
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Eleven! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FFRoYhTJQQ -NightSteel
"Bridge!" -Divinar
I am surprised that I have not met any fish yet that see an elevators doors open and they think I opened it with the Force. Would be awesome if I could...but... -KrazerKap
Incorrect! You must take the stairs instead. -MyCatVerbs
Fish goes to same elevator many times a day. Wants to go up so presses down button. Phones maintenance regularly because the elevator goes down when they get in. -Holdfast
There's a Douglas Adams quote going a begging here. -AngrySup
NightSteel: That was bloody brilliant! -unrenowned
does no one ever copnsider including the Lift in these decisions? Perhaps they want to feel needed?! or may breifly experiment with Sideways before sulking in the basement. -Harm
"Elevator - Transporter room." "I'm fine, how are you?" "Elevator, I said TRANSPORTER ROOM!" "I'm fine, how are you?" -Captain Trips |
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5935.
Taking one supervisor call will ruin the rest of the work day. The whole day if the luser is particularly dumb, belligerent, and/or likes to here themselves talk.
I had a nice luser that was a talker and a yeller.
[By : DarkRookie / 2012-03-13] [Top]
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5934.
http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2012-03-11/ - This WILL happen. It will happen more than once. You will cry everytime.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-03-12] [Top]
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It even comes from directors in I.T. - we have a couple who like to ask for things that can't be done, and when it's explained to them why it can't be done, they say "good - when will it be ready?" -Captain Trips
Thx! I saw that in the Sunday paper (right b4 I got off work) & lmao, & then went & forgot to post afterward. -MadJack |
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5931.
That in a business environment, on a new login, having anyone else other than the intended user setup the security questions wont cause headaches.
[By :KrazerKap / 2012-03-07] [Top]
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Or indeed, that headaches are at all avoidable, even when users input the answers themselves. -AmazingKreskin
"Wife's favorite position? Wow, I better not let Charlie know that I knew the answer to THAT one." -Captain Trips |
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5930.
Trying to jump the line, ahead of the 90+ people whose tickets are in the queue is a bad idea, especially when there are two other customers who have waited several days to a couple weeks to get their stuff fixed in the room when you say you're important.
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-03-07] [Top]
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Someone just 'volunteered' to let the next 50 people put in tickets before her. -DarkRookie
Not here. Ticket triage is based on the requestor's rank and not need. So, if the CEO needs her keyboard cleaned, it comes ahead of rebuilding a server. -Captain Trips |
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5929.
Only when the server hard drives crash will you notice that apparently someone, in a fit of brilliance, had cancelled the task that did the nightly backups and you were cataloging blank tapes.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-03-06] [Top]
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In a previous life I had to manage backups for a tatty VMS system. The backups consistently reported successful, but for the life of me (*and* the resident VMS wrangler) we couldn't ever get anything restored. We tried different tape drives, fresh tapes, sacrifice of livetock... Finally we disected the backup script and found out that my predecesor had done the needful and forced a positive result even though errors were coming fast and furious, apparently because correcting that would have forced him to do his job. -Lusus
It's people like that who need to be brought in front of a firing squad -skippytpodar |
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