5979.
When making a message for myself to hang on my wall do to the amount of screw ups I have had lately the messages "You need to stop f###### up hardware tickets" and "You need to stop screwing up hardware tickets" are not allowed but "You need to stop messing up hardware tickets" is.
I used f###### instead of the actually word on the print out
[By :  DarkRookie / 2012-06-18] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Rule
Comments
*due not do. -Harm
Dont mess with the 1st Priestess of Burrkiss. I shall bend you over my knee and..........punish you. -burrkiss
burkiss you forgot "in the name of the moon" -Icelator |
|
5978.
Never badmouth the system in front of the user. Period. Our internal system issues are just that, internal. (Seriously, if you have worked in tech support for a certain period of time, you should have some sense of basic decorum and practice.)
[By :TechieSidhe / 2012-06-15] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Rule
Comments
Exception: If you don't support system luser is having trouble with and the people who do support it are a bunch of stupid script monkeys. -DarkRookie
UNLESS it is universaly agreed upon that the system is incredibly dated and extremly limited and will one day be replaced hopefully soon. -Harm
There is a big difference between "yeah, the server is having a temper tantrum today" and telling the user the multiple faults of the system in detail. The users already don't like the system, but we're won't (and can't)change it, and us badmouthing it isn't going to help buy in and cooperation. Plus, any information you tell them gets convoluted and ends up getting used against IS later. -TechieSidhe
"It's taking a little bit longer than usual to get that RMA processed, please bear with me a moment." vs "Wow. Either everybody is getting an RMA at once or the server threw up on itself." -linuxmatt
There's discussing the failings of a system and *discussing* the failing of a system. When the end user is the one grousing about how bad the system is, all you do is nod your head and/or commiserate with the user. When it's a co-worker grousing about how bad the system is, that's when you can talk about the Satan-spawned, job-perpetuating system analysts that pushed this collective piece of garbage onto the company's user base.
-VoiceOfSanity
and then there is the entity known for the exec that bought it aka S.A.P. -PolarCoyote
S.A.P. Mother of God! Whomever created that steaming pile needs to be torn into little bitty pieces and buried alive. -Stryker One |
|
5977.
If you sound like a woman on the phone, I will, by default, call you ma'am. Don't get offended if I do so, and please don't ask to talk to someone else, because I will guarantee you, they will almost certainly make that mistake as well with a voice like that. I'm here to help you, not piss you off...
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-06-04] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Rule
Comments
*sigh* I've been called ma'am IN PERSON because of my voice. It's annoying but, as you said, not really your fault. -Aelin236
I've been called ma'am because of my hair once in a while :P -skippytpodar
"Ma'am? No, sir, I said 'man'. Sorry, it's an old habit of mine, I'll make an extra effort to address you as sir." -Calydor
@Calydor - I have had strange looks from people for calling them sir. In the UK it is mainly associated with the military and history. "Old" people seem to like it. The definition of old varies though. -Holdfast
Skippy - that's because your hair is so PRETTY. I am very jealous. -Madrigorne
I grew up learning to say sir and ma'am as a sign of respec to people regardless of age. In the last 10 years I have had a lot of people get upset with me because that makes them feel old. -jwinc7
NEVER call a woman "Ma'am". It makes 'em feel old. PS Calling the old slag tending bar "young miss" just might get you an extra pint. Or a drink in the face. Either way it's free. -AngrySup
It makes me feel old when they call me that, but rather than get pissy about it I'll just tell them it's ok to drop the ma'am and formal speak. It's a sign of respect, so no point in being angry at someone showing respect. -reveriel
When you've been in the military, it becomes ingrained in you that "Sir" is for officers. Hence the old joke, "Don't call me Sir! I happen to work for a living!"
-VoiceOfSanity |
|
5976.
Just because I can actually decipher what you mean by "I think I keep that in my Yahoo even though it's Word." doesn't mean you aren't talking in gibberish. It's just that I've learned to translate the gibberish as a survival skill... much like I'd eventually drink my own urine if you made me dehydrated enough.
[By :linkv / 2012-05-24] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Rule
Comments
it can be used as brain bleach in an emergency -stiffarm |
|
5974.
I honestly don't give a rat's ass what kind of printer it is, or how it's connected to your computer, you still need to contact the Help Desk first and have them put in a ticket. I'm sure you like having your work documented as well, don't you?
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-05-24] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Rule
Comments
And the best part... all she needed was to put paper into the printer. -skippytpodar
I can't think of the number of folks who this applied to... "The printer's not working, you need to fix it." "No, you need to put in a ticket to have it fixed, we don't work on printers." "But it's important!" "So is my lunch."
-VoiceOfSanity |
|
5973.
Adding "i am awesome -darkrookie" is forbidden in any tip. Addendum: I no longer allowed to add anything extra to a tip that is not relevant to said tip.
[By : DarkRookie / 2012-05-21] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Rule
Comments
I have had that message on that tip since I first created it, 6 weeks ago. -DarkRookie
I used to have a mangler who hated my tag lines in my instant messenger. "What want what? By *WHEN*?" It's why I still keep it visible, just because he can't remove it now.
-VoiceOfSanity
I'm guessing the phrase "thirteen inches of dangling fury" would be right out, too. -MeanDean
On a related note, while filling out paperwork to see a doctor, they have the usual lines for first and last names. However, they also have a line for "Name you'd like to be addresses as", oh so many possibilities to enter here. I was considering "My Lord and Master", but that's taken. -Stryker One
request i be addreessed as "Batman" -Harm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoX-HkOcEuE
I'm Batman -burrkiss
I had a very similar convo with manglement just the other day. I am no longer allowed to bash the tech for failing to print a test page to a "Fixed" printer. nor can I claim Layer 8 Error or ID-10T error in any helldesk tickets.
-PhishPhucker |
|
5972.
The minute you take the SAN down to migrate it to a new OS, everyone will ask you for anything and everything and only the things that the documenation you will need to accomplish said task will be on the SAN you just took down.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-21] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Rule
Comments
From the hip troubleshooting time. Outlook doesn't open? Reimage. Getting message on boot saying fan has failed? Reimage. System is currently on fire? Reimage. System is infected with a pr0n virus? Search system for anything new, and then reimage. -DarkRookie |
|
5971.
I am no longer allowed to call an incorrect transfer from server team to us a HAL-023 error any longer. :(
[By : DarkRookie / 2012-05-21] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Rule
Comments
Go for 'RTS; Layer 8 Issue'. They'll love that. -LDFeral
My favourite is "Error status - PICNIC" and I am determined to put it in code somewhere. -Holdfast |
|
5970.
A watched "Time Remaining:" status will stay at 51 minutes for ~3 hours then suddenly change to 6 hours remaining when you look away.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-05-21] [Top]
Comment on this Tech Rule
Comments
"And Einstein would look at this and say, 'E does not equal MC squared. E equals five to the monkey-nine...'"</izzard> -AmazingKreskin
One of my favourites: xkcd.com/612 -Erraticus |
|
| Show me more Tech Rules in groups of: |
10 |
50 |
100 |
|
