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5985.
I am not allowed to change all instances of iPhone into JesusPhone when rewriting the JesusPhone tip.
[By :  DarkRookie / 2012-06-25] [Top]
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JesusPhone? Does it have a burrito app? -Stryker One
Customer: my phone is dead. Tech: Wait three days and try again. -thx1138 |
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5984.
'It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission' is no longer applied to the Domain Users group.
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-06-22] [Top]
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Back story? -Stryker One
Where I work, most of the time, it's the only way to get anything done. Going through proper channels usually means having endless meetings to debate how to brand [whatever it is you want to do]. -AmazingKreskin |
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5983.
In your next/current job you will eventually find one of these. http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/white-trash-repairs-there-i-fixed-it-if-it-works-dont-touch-it.jpg
[By :ravensentinel / 2012-06-22] [Top]
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Umm... loosely bundled, color coded cables in a clean server rack. I must be missing something. (don't mind those in-line peripherals. they're just for the government) -AngrySup
Actually, I think those in-line peripherals are home-grade 8-port switches... or maybe home-grade 4-port routers... what you do if you are a self-taught network tech with no budget and no more ports on your main switch. -chazz
There's a break in that one orange cable http://futuregiraffes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/supercomputers-barcelona.jpg please troubleshoot. -Stryker One
@Stryker One - I'm running a new wire, and abandoning the old one in place. -Divinar
Not too hard, Stryker. All multi-mode fiber, just hook up an OTDR to the suspected fiber, and you'll know just how far down the fiber the break is. -Captain Trips |
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5982.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to fix it yourself. You will invariably make it worse...
Just got back from trying to fix a label printer, and upon arrival, it already looked like the Tazmanian Devil had a two-week bender of speedballs and went to town on the poor printer. It was so bad, after an hour of attempting to remove stuck labels from underneath a roller well, I decided replacing it was less of a headache than continuing my efforts. And of course, everyone I talked to claimed ignorance as to the state of the printer.
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-06-21] [Top]
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"I know NOTHINGK!! Colonel Hogan!"
-harryscuz
That was actually Sgt. Schultz -srteach
Was it a Lexmark label printer? Those things jam at the slightest breeze. We have taken to just replacing them at the site and bringing them back to IS to perform major surgery because getting those labels out is a pain in the rear end. -TechieSidhe
Yes, it was Schultz, quoted as calling out Hogan's name. See? -FuzzyElf |
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5981.
Home computers As part of my job I will troubleshoot your home computer issue only when it pertains to connecting to work systems such as Outlook Web or remote desktop. I will not have anything to do with recovering your password to your personal laptop. We had an analyst fired because he was helping a user do this on their home computer. Looks like someone needs to try to remember their password or head to Geek Squad to get it fixed.
[By :Starfury / 2012-06-20] [Top]
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Or: "I can fix this on my own time, for $100, tonight. What would you like the password to be?" (Unless you use the MS encrypting on the hard drive that would be damaged if the password is changed...) -Divinar
So how do I do this with my Mom? -AngrySup
Geek Squad is not allowed to password crack. That whole thing about possibly "stolen" equipment. Actually, Staples techs aren't allowed to either for the same reason. Hmmm.... NUKE -N- PAVE! -unrenowned |
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5979.
When making a message for myself to hang on my wall do to the amount of screw ups I have had lately the messages "You need to stop f###### up hardware tickets" and "You need to stop screwing up hardware tickets" are not allowed but "You need to stop messing up hardware tickets" is.
I used f###### instead of the actually word on the print out
[By : DarkRookie / 2012-06-18] [Top]
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*due not do. -Harm
Dont mess with the 1st Priestess of Burrkiss. I shall bend you over my knee and..........punish you. -burrkiss
burkiss you forgot "in the name of the moon" -Icelator |
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5978.
Never badmouth the system in front of the user. Period. Our internal system issues are just that, internal. (Seriously, if you have worked in tech support for a certain period of time, you should have some sense of basic decorum and practice.)
[By :TechieSidhe / 2012-06-15] [Top]
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Exception: If you don't support system luser is having trouble with and the people who do support it are a bunch of stupid script monkeys. -DarkRookie
UNLESS it is universaly agreed upon that the system is incredibly dated and extremly limited and will one day be replaced hopefully soon. -Harm
There is a big difference between "yeah, the server is having a temper tantrum today" and telling the user the multiple faults of the system in detail. The users already don't like the system, but we're won't (and can't)change it, and us badmouthing it isn't going to help buy in and cooperation. Plus, any information you tell them gets convoluted and ends up getting used against IS later. -TechieSidhe
"It's taking a little bit longer than usual to get that RMA processed, please bear with me a moment." vs "Wow. Either everybody is getting an RMA at once or the server threw up on itself." -linuxmatt
There's discussing the failings of a system and *discussing* the failing of a system. When the end user is the one grousing about how bad the system is, all you do is nod your head and/or commiserate with the user. When it's a co-worker grousing about how bad the system is, that's when you can talk about the Satan-spawned, job-perpetuating system analysts that pushed this collective piece of garbage onto the company's user base.
-VoiceOfSanity
and then there is the entity known for the exec that bought it aka S.A.P. -PolarCoyote
S.A.P. Mother of God! Whomever created that steaming pile needs to be torn into little bitty pieces and buried alive. -Stryker One |
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5977.
If you sound like a woman on the phone, I will, by default, call you ma'am. Don't get offended if I do so, and please don't ask to talk to someone else, because I will guarantee you, they will almost certainly make that mistake as well with a voice like that. I'm here to help you, not piss you off...
[By : skippytpodar / 2012-06-04] [Top]
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*sigh* I've been called ma'am IN PERSON because of my voice. It's annoying but, as you said, not really your fault. -Aelin236
I've been called ma'am because of my hair once in a while :P -skippytpodar
"Ma'am? No, sir, I said 'man'. Sorry, it's an old habit of mine, I'll make an extra effort to address you as sir." -Calydor
@Calydor - I have had strange looks from people for calling them sir. In the UK it is mainly associated with the military and history. "Old" people seem to like it. The definition of old varies though. -Holdfast
Skippy - that's because your hair is so PRETTY. I am very jealous. -Madrigorne
I grew up learning to say sir and ma'am as a sign of respec to people regardless of age. In the last 10 years I have had a lot of people get upset with me because that makes them feel old. -jwinc7
NEVER call a woman "Ma'am". It makes 'em feel old. PS Calling the old slag tending bar "young miss" just might get you an extra pint. Or a drink in the face. Either way it's free. -AngrySup
It makes me feel old when they call me that, but rather than get pissy about it I'll just tell them it's ok to drop the ma'am and formal speak. It's a sign of respect, so no point in being angry at someone showing respect. -reveriel
When you've been in the military, it becomes ingrained in you that "Sir" is for officers. Hence the old joke, "Don't call me Sir! I happen to work for a living!"
-VoiceOfSanity |
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5976.
Just because I can actually decipher what you mean by "I think I keep that in my Yahoo even though it's Word." doesn't mean you aren't talking in gibberish. It's just that I've learned to translate the gibberish as a survival skill... much like I'd eventually drink my own urine if you made me dehydrated enough.
[By :linkv / 2012-05-24] [Top]
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it can be used as brain bleach in an emergency -stiffarm |
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