2366. LTA LTA: Lacking Technical Aptitude A term we use to describe the agents on the phone here that cant troubleshooting worth a damn. [By : DarkRookie / 2013-04-16] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments So, one step above ART (Assuming Room Temperature)? -Stryker One Sounds like our noob...who most likely won't be with us much longer. -Starfury

2365. Not that kind of locker room guy... Um yeah...look around you dude... Has anyone else dropped their britches? Not a good way to make a first impression. [By :Captn92 / 2013-04-11] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments I used to work with a guy who when using a urinal would drop his pants and boxers around his ankles. -0gr3 So what kind of locker room was it anyway??? -concept14

2364. Not A Team Player Didn't happen to me, but thought you'd appreciate this: http://notalwaysworking.com/revenge-is-a-disk-best-servered-code/29135 [By :harryscuz / 2013-03-19] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments Sounds like he found a sure-fired way to get some time off to regain his sanity. -spectreoflife That and getting a boss fired for breaking security protocols. -McSmiley WHAT the actual fuck. -FuzzyElf

2363. So Professional I Can Be Unprofessional! We have a group chat constantly going among the analysts at my service desk. It's sorta useful, if there's a major outage or something. But lately, I tend not to go in there. You see, there is one colleague here that is all smiles and bubbly personality, as long as you're dealing with her face to face. I call this side of her "Jekyll." In that group chat, "Hyde" comes out--STRONGLY. She will leap down your throat at the first sign that you might not be 100% happy with everything that is going on at your job, at any even slightly sarcastic comment, or anything you say that she could twist into the idea that you're not working as hard as she is. Any time you suggest that something could be improved, she's after you about your negative attitude. If you make a joke, she snaps at you that it must be nice to have all this free time to crack wise while she works her butt off. If you complain about how busy it is (as in, compared to normal), she yells at you that this is our job, and maybe it wouldn't be so busy if you quit complaining and pulled your weight! What makes this bad is that she's obviously trying to project an image of herself as the consummate professional, but she does it by belittling any co-worker she sees as less professional than herself (nearly everyone), and she does it with schoolyard taunts and bullying. The irony of trying to show how professional she is by spouting off incredibly unprofessional phrases never dawns on her. For instance, after the installation of the new Pope, one guy just briefly mentioned it in the group chat, and here is her only-edited-for-anonymity response: "There are 20 emails in the mailbox, don't you have better things to do right now? and 2 calls waiting." The guy in question was on break, but it made no difference to her: "Sorry for interrupting your youtube time!" My only interaction with her came way back before I knew of this alternate personality of hers. I was having a horrible morning and snidely answered her "good morning" with a "no, it's not". At my last job, that either would have been ignored or would have elicited an "I hear ya, dude". This bitch? "Your negative attitude is bringing everyone down. If you don't like it here you should quit. You wouldn't be missed." Did I mention she has no authority whatsoever? [By :Waish / 2013-03-14] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments I also want to clarify something; TSC is where I vent, or try to make a negative experience funny. As you can see by my history, I don't even do so very often. It is certainly NOT how I act when dealing with clients co-workers, so, no, I'm not known by anyone but her as the guy bringing everyone down, nor do I have such a negative attitude that people can't wait to see me quit. -Waish I should also mention that my "no, it's not" comment is one of the few times I said anything in group chat that wasn't directly work-related. It's also the first comment I made that elicited any sort of response from her. My question is, what if I had said that because I'd just gone through a personal tragedy? (Later, when I actually had gone through one, I stayed out of the chat entirely for a few days). -Waish Gun back at her. She makes snide comments about not doing work, make one right back about her seeming to have plenty of time to snap at anyone so she must not be working very hard either. She complains about negative attitudes complain that her negative attitude is interfering with teambuilding and is very unappreciated. Anything she says like that shoot back. Soon the entire team will fire back at her crap and she'll shut up or shoot herself in the foot big enough to take it to HR. Hell, that could even be considered making a hostile work environment, you might get a couple of your team to quietly have a word with the boss about how they are afraid to speak up in chat because they are afraid she'll snap at them....document and build your case well young padawan.... -GargoyleTS That last comment makes me suspect she plays WoW and spends a lot of time on the forums there, one of the usual responses to anyone suggesting anything could be done differently is "Don't like it, leave." Which is oh, so constructive. -Calydor I would simply forward the logs to HR and lodge a complaint about poison work environment and bullying. Let them sort her out. -SwedishChef I have a couple coworkers like that... One woman was commenting on another coworker, that's on medical leave. "I hope she doesn't come back" I responded with "I really like coworker, I can't wait for her to get back." She shut up. Tell her in the chat, you think that whatever opinion is valid, and that venting and having someone identify with you is better for morale than a fake optimistic act. With luck, she'll cause enough of a stink on her own that chat logs might be reviewed, and she'll be reprimanded for behaving with such hostility. -boxxertrumps First thing is to start saving the chats. Second is to mention to your boss that he might want to lurk in there him/herself (most corporate chat programs have a way for someone to be in there yet invisible). Eventually she will either stick her foot in it bigtime in one catastrophic comment or slowly she will dig her own grave. Or the other option is just to block her completely if you can. -frprinterwiz If she has time to say "good morning" then she's got time to answer one of the waiting tickets... -RealUnimportant If you decide on a course of action involving a boss, tell NO ONE else, to avoid letting it get back to her. Boss (or HR) needs to see her in her natural mode. -FuzzyElf

2362. Donut Man This co-worker brings food in ALL the time. Donuts, muffins, cookies, and other sweets 3-4 days a week. While I enjoy this kind of food my waistline says "you shall not eat" so I rarely indulge on this cornucopia of sugary goodness. I'm not sure if it's because he's nice or trying to score brownie points with the staff/bosses. [By :Starfury / 2013-03-07] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments Not just brownie points... donut points, muffin points, you name it! -skippytpodar The office, where diets go to die. -Stryker One oh man you are lucky -mrfoxboy I bake cookies to help work through anxiety attacks. My wife is diabetic. My neighbors love me when my head's a mess. -MeanDean I like baking, but I like for my waistline to go down. so whenever I end up trying out something new, my co-workers get the result, since I can't eat all that by myself. -reveriel

2361. The Phone Ninja When this person's cordless phone handset dies after a long call, they grab a charged one from an empty workstation. Perfectly acceptable, except instead of exchanging the handsets and leaving the dead one on the cradle to recharge, they just take the charged handset. When that one dies, they take another one. And another. And another. Pretty soon every phone in the office is dead and instead of having one to use while another charges, they're all sitting on his desk. [By :SpiderRider3 / 2013-01-16] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments aka, Asshole. -Stryker One Those "people" remind me of the seagulls from Finding Nemo...."Mine!...Mine!!" -ChildofCthulhu

2360. Acronym Soup Uses acronyms and abbreviations from their own field of expertise that they know you won't understand, so they can feel smarter than you when you ask them to explain it. [By :metaball / 2013-01-14] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments aka, Douchenozzle. -Stryker One acro-tard. -ecoli

2359. Mr. What-is-that-smell? This is the customer type that you don't want to smell coming a mile away, let alone a few feet away. Just a small hint, you are supposed to take your pants and (hopefully!!!) your underpants before you do that in your pants.... and it's XMas eve... That's nice, really nice... [By :spectreoflife / 2012-12-24] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments take them off* the pants.. and preferably in the bathroom.... -spectreoflife Damn ... Did some skunk eat a rotten catfish and Limburger cheese sandwich? No? Must be you then. -srteach haahah NO PANTS!! *doffs pants and runs round giggling* -Harm Take off your pants? Ain't nobody got time fo dat. -SpiderRider3

2358. Grinchamus Our cubicle shall be the only one without Christmas paraphernalia [By :blkndn / 2012-12-04] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments Bah humnbug! -lightchipster Arrr Matey! Pirate Christmas has just pulled into port and dropped anchor in my office....Now, where's that pesky rum gone? -ChildofCthulhu I am that type: The only way xmas stuff gets into my cube is if someone else brings it -madonnac I don't decorate my house...why would I decorate my cube? I'm not opposed to watching the attractive department secretary decorate though... -Starfury by decorate you mean strip? -burrkiss So i get to work and someone has hung a wreath on my cubical. Shall I set it ablaze and stomp dance and war whoop around my desk? -blkndn If someone put Xmas shit on my cubical, it would find its way into the trash right away. Look, I don't mind your celebrating your holiday on company time, but I'm Jewish - you have no right to make me celebrate the birth of your god. (I may put up a menorah, though.) -Captain Trips I simply don't have space to decorate my cubical. All "wall" space is occupied by commonly used checklists, manual pages, network and database diagrams, and on picture of my wife. the surface area is buried under a pile of misc hardware, project notes and a mountain of safety glasses because I receive replacements every month, and never actually wear them, since I seldom work in the shop areas... -garwain I wouldn't mind it... if they at least asked.... -blkndn Warming up for the Airing of Grievances? Here's a decoration that can double as a cluebat --http://www.festivuspoles.com/pages/Festivuspoles.htm. -stiffarm The period at the end of the link broke it; here's a corrected version: http://www.festivuspoles.com/pages/Festivuspoles.htm I have to say I like the boxed set in the upper right; that would be a decent cube set as well. -chazz Boxed set, cube / desk size: http://www.festivuspoles.com/pages/festivusinabox.htm -chazz One thing I have learned over the years... do not go to HR with complaints about someone's cubicle being overdone in religious symbols. *YOU* will be the one viewed as being hostile. (Yes it happened to me once...) -VoiceOfSanity

2357. Web team equates to IT Support The web team where I work can be infuriating sometimes, as although they are looking after the web server, they seem to feel that entitles them to take on other IT roles. Main example; one guy is trying to replace the standard build work PC's with ones he had made at home, so we have no idea what drivers they need, what they will be able to run, or even whether they are safe to put on the network as they aren't running our deployed virus software. [By :lightchipster / 2012-11-23] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments Anti-virus even*. -lightchipster "Sure go ahead but you lose all support from the IT team. Any issues you have are your problem. Oh, and your internet access will be restricted to only the external web server where our site is hosted. Have a nice day." -Olorin all ACL's... not on the list? DENIED! -Harm <quote>Anti-virus even*. -lightchipster</quote> Nope, you were right the first time. ;-) -Gromit Rule #1, if it impedes our ability to provide the best service available we reserve the right to "correct" this. Rule #2, if you ordered it even with our suggestions then be ready for us to build to suit. If these two rules can not be attended to, then all equipment is subject to replacement/return. -MaskedMarauder It's in the newest version of our employee handbook: attaching ANY personal hardware to the corporate network is a termination offense. (Of course, they never read that as the current handbook is only on the corporate intranet.) -Captain Trips Ask the guy (preferably with high-level managers in attendance) if he is prepared to offer 24/7/365 support on the PCs in addition to his regular job. Most of us on this site can build and troubleshoot our own PCs but there's a reason that we don't do so for even family & friends, much less an enterprise environment. -BayouTech "We won't have to worry about viruses, all the machines I'm building are gonna run nothing but DragonFly BSD as the operating system!" -MeanDean

2356. The new guy Since starting at my new job, virtually everything has been awesome, and except for one of the people on my shift, all of us have been working for the Uncle for quite a number of years. The last person to get hired on has only been working for the Uncle for less than a year, and we can definitely tell he's still VERY Green. For example, he's doing everything in his power to impress us with the fact that he (supposedly) knows several languages to look smart, though a couple of us on the shift who do know a few could tell easily he's just doing a cut & paste job from Google Translate. Also, he (again supposedly) has a list of certifications that could choke an elephant, which the rest of us find dubious for someone so green in the IT field, since he did mention that he got hired pretty much straight out of college, and despite all those certs, still makes rookie mistakes. He's also looking to build his own Linux router and a few other projects for home use, and he asked the boss in an open conference call that contained several other high-level supervisors, if he could put all that in as a work ticket. We could HEAR several of the supervisors try & fail to stifle their laughter when he asked that, and our boss flatly told him no, that personal projects for home definitely don't qualify for work tickets. And speaking of which, it's pretty obvious he has no experience with any ticket routing system, since myself and two others have had to show him the basics of the system, including how to log in. All in all though, it's more adorable and humorous than anything else, kinda like watching a puppy try to act like a big dog, or a kid wanting to work on something & get a pat on the head for their efforts. A couple coworkers have likened it to the chickenhawk in those old Foghorn Leghorn shorts, and I tend to agree, though none of us have had the heart to tell him this, because we don't wanna do anything to keep him from breaking the occasional monotony of no calls or e-mails. [By : skippytpodar / 2012-11-16] [Top] Comment on this Co-Worker Type Comments FNG, well he'll either smarten up and STFU.. or wash out :) -Harm actually the college program I was trying would have resulted in fifteen certs. However certs just mean you know how to memorize. -deedadee the reason I don't put stock in certs. I've had to help no less that 4 MCSE's slip stream in drivers because they couldn't figure it out..... -virusjtg I say give him rope enough to hang himself. -Captain Trips

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