Tech Support Comedy! - Co-Worker Types
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Co-Worker Types

You love them you hate them, they are your friends or enemies but whether you like it or not you work with them. As another form to vent your frustrations we make the co-worker type database available for you to use. Add to it, read it, laugh and say that sounds just like so and so. As of this second we currently have 2378 different co-worker types!

2378. URL Clueless HR Drone
When I give you the courtesy to let you know that the URL in one of your mailed out form letters is not working. Do not tell me the website is working correctly, because you've taken 4 people there today, and hasn't changed in years. "corporate.companyname.com" does not equal "www.companynameproduct.com" Your form letter needs to be corrected.
[By :PolarCoyote / 2014-08-11] [Top]
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Comments

  • This ought to be a function in an email editor. They can warn you when you type "see attachment" without attaching a file, so they should be smart enough to test your links for you. -concept14
  • The provided URL looks like an internal address which is being given out to potential hires that don't have access to the internal site. -PolarCoyote
  • lol... My dad still asks if http:// is needed, and insists I have to tell that to him every time. -skippytpodar
  • 2377. Mr. Did You Fix It Yet
    So, got a guy in support that is clueless about the product and how to actually do support. He gets all the customer's info and then gets off of the phone. He waits a week or so and then will call the customer back in the last half hour of his day and ask "So... have you fixed that problem yet?" Then offers no solution and will get off the phone if they didn't fix it and then just ask someone else how to fix it. Now, these are for even the simplest of issues!
    [By :ChopTop / 2014-07-30] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Mr Pass-the-Buck? He's there too? -srteach
  • Mr. Buck Passer? Lol. Made me think of this. http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2004-01-11/ -KrazerKap
  • 2376. The Timekeeper
    There was a clock installed in the office and as a joke it was decided to change the time, forward a few min, back a few min etc. This guy has changed the battery twice and one time use compressed air to clean. Now this is a enclosed clock so spraying air just dusts off the cover. He thinks the clock is possessed I guess, not sure. A second identical clock was bought to move the battery to a different location so when he takes it down he will wonder how it is running with a empty battery compartment. There are so many stories about this guy. When time permits there will be more posted.
    [By :ChopTop / 2014-06-09] [Top]
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    Comments

  • I seem to remember hearing about a clock at a train station in Europe that slows down slightly just before the hour, and right after the hour, so that the trains leave "right" on time. I wonder if you could get a hold of one of those? -docbrown01
  • 2375. Ms. LazyBoss (Part 1/4)
    So, Ms. LazyBoss was in a bit of a bad situation. Her commercial multifunction printer was dying, but when it came time to get equipment replaced, she just never quite came up to the top of the list. Her printer was leased from a local copier company, so we tried to work with them, though they proved to be less than helpful. Even though this thing was belching out toner, had physically broken parts, had horrible output quality, and didn't support newer versions of Windows, Ms. LazyBoss was stuck with it. Using what limited influence I had, I kept petitioning the purchasing department to set money aside for a new printer from her. It took ALMOST A YEAR, but finally, they shipped me a new printer, and that's when the real fun started...
    [By :linkv / 2014-05-05] [Top]
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    2374. Ms. LazyBoss (Part 2/4)
    Ms. LazyBoss was thrilled to have a brand-new printer, but it took almost no time for her to realize that her excuse for not getting work done had vanished. Suddenly, she couldn't do any work... Because I never showed her how to use the new printer! Yes, yes, that was it! So she claimed she was out of commission until I could giver her a tutorial. Seeing as her office is a 40 minute drive from mine, I called her up and said "When you want to print something, hit PRINT." This seemed to satisfy her for a few hours. Then she said she didn't know how to fax with the printer. I said "Dial the number you want to fax to, and hit the green button." She didn't understand this, saying that there was also a blue botton that blinked. "Don't worry about that blue button. Dial the number, push the green button, that's all you have to do. It's actually exactly the same as the old printer." She called me back, still unable to fax, because I hadn't shown her how to do it. She was still fixated on this blue button.
    [By :linkv / 2014-05-05] [Top]
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    2373. Ms. LazyBoss (Part 3/4)
    So, I pulled up the PDF of the printer manual and isolated the three pages that pertained to faxing. They essentailly had large pictures and big print, telling her step by step to dial the phone number and push the green fucking button. I called her back, and verified that the fax was coming out now, and that it would show her, in picture form, what I had been explaining to her for the past half hour. Mz. LazyBoss STILL 'didn't understand' and insisted I come out to show her how to use the fax. Which, the next week, I found time to do. And, I dialed a ten-digit phone number in front of her, and hit the green button. That happens to have a phone on it. I made sure there was someone else in the room to see this, so if Ms. LazyBoss "forgot" how to operate the fax, her co-worker could remind her. And with that, I left, doing the last part of my job, telling her about the toner.
    [By :linkv / 2014-05-05] [Top]
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    2372. Ms. LazyBoss (Part 4/4)
    I said, "It seems like it takes forever to get replacement toner in. Please order new toner TODAY so it can be ready when your starter drum runs out. THIS IS THE NUMBER OF THE CARTRIDGE!!" And with that, I wrote down the brand (Hint: two letters) and part number (spoiler: three numbers). And I told her to call purchasing and have them buy one of those immediately. So, all she had to do was call another department and give them five letters and numbers. What does she do? She calls up the leasing company from the previous printer, tells them to have a delivery guy bring her toner... then when it doesn't fit, asks me to come back to her office to show her why. Because she can't get her work done without her printer.
    [By :linkv / 2014-05-05] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Document, document, document. -Stryker One
  • Stab, stab, stab. FTFY -Shooter
  • Document, stab, AND cc: her boss. She is wasting her time and yours on the most basic of office functions, functions which have been in the officeplace for 3 decades now... -Captain Trips
  • 2371. Mumblesvague McGee
    Mumblesvague is that co-irker who mumbled questions that are vague & nonsensical. Attempts to probe and clarify are met only with additional mumbled of the original question that may or may not be an actual query. Further attempts to summarize or clarify are failures as Mumbles is incapable of clear OR concise statements defining the problem. However, by the time another person arrives to translate, Mumbles has organized his thoughts and can phrase a better inquiry, which is unrelated to what he originally asked.
    [By :taieena / 2014-03-31] [Top]
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    Comments

  • One of the many reasons I prefer to communicate via e-mail. -Stryker One
  • 2370. Left for greener pastures
    Recently we have lost a fairly large number of senior staff lured away by the promise of more money and more freedom. Today I recieved a raise which bumps me up to more per hour than what any of them left for. And my facebook feed has been full of them lamenting the fact that this new company requires certs that they are all going to have to pay to go back to school to be able to pass (they pay for the test - you get 3 chances to pass or you have no job). So for all the shit you think you left behind it made great fertilizer for my wonderful green pastures .
    [By :frprinterwiz / 2014-03-11] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Sounds like a clean win for you! -Grue
  • Sounds like a win-win -skippytpodar
  • Do you think management might have come off their wallet because they though you might be the next one to bolt? -volmtech
  • I'm expecting an exodus from here this year and when it starts I'm going to come to work in "interview" clothing several times a week. Should freak the bosses out a bit. -Starfury
  • 2369. (Shape) Shift Supervisor
    This is a description of where I've been lately: It seems that the way my place of business handles people is to hire a group of temps at one location, train them in a lot of things, then after a few months hire another group of temps at another location and phase out the first group. Repeat months later, bringing in temps at the first location and closing the second location for a couple weeks.
    [By :Mushroom / 2013-10-10] [Top]
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    Comments

  • I'm thinking the phase-out is right at or near the point where the workers become eligible for raises or other benefits increases due to the enhanced skillset. -Grue
  • Wouldn't surprise me. They do a similar thing here at different queues. -DarkRookie
  • Qualcomm? I know that's how they work, too. Constantly retraining temps must be cheaper than hiring them on permanent... -Captain Trips
  • 2368. The guy who's got your back.
    So I have a little 8x10 whiteboard on my door that another co-worker and I have been going back and forth on. What started out as an NFL football has eventually turned into Stewie Griffin saying some unflattering things about people that change his expression around. I just found out today that the really nice Romanian guy saw this and thought someone was threatening me. He was taking pictures for evidence until someone in his department explained "Stewie Griffin" and "Family Guy". It's good to find out someone you weren't expecting is looking out for you. Still funny, though.
    [By :VIPERsssss / 2013-08-22] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Steve walks warily down the street with his brim pulled way down low... -Madrigorne
  • Show me more Co-Worker Types in groups of: 10 50 100

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