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End User Phrase of the Day

What the heck is a EUPOTD? it stands for 'End User Phrase Of The Day'! Here we are looking for small crazy things that customers have said to us during the day. As of today we have 19176 EUPOTD's.

19176. After being resurrected from a disintegrate spell:"did you just shove your hand up my ash?" [By :Icelator / 2014-04-13] [Top]
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  • should clarify the resurrection required contact and the disintegrate left me a pile of ash -Icelator
  • Title this one "If Sean Connery played D&D" -NightSteel
  • Be careful leaving that out there ... Too many Evil Dead / 2 / AoD comments to fill in this space. Don't want to crash TSC with 'em ;-) -Necros
  • 19175. This one's brought to you by the FNG (big surprise)...

    FNG: Do I have to update and annotate a ticket if I just look at it, and don't actually do anything related to it?
    [By : skippytpodar / 2014-04-10] [Top]
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  • Actually, we used to have to do that where I work. We had a micromanager who was always stats and data driven, and if anyone opened a customer's account for any reason, he wanted to know why. So we had to annotate it every time, even if it was just to reset a password. -NightSteel
  • 19174. We got a ticket a few minutes ago about a single PC that lost its connectivity to the network, and the analyst that took the call realized that a very ornery IT Tech, whose last name is not only the name of a certain piece of male anatomy, but it's VERY appropriate for his personality, was the on-call for the site tonight. Here's the conversation:

    $Analyst 8:43 PM
    * oh boy $orneryTech is on call
    $assistantSupervisor 8:43 PM
    * oh no.....
    Me 8:43 PM
    * Oh the unvarnished joy
    * And it's for one single PC, I see
    $assistantSupervisor 8:43 PM
    * he was okay the other night.
    $Analyst 8:43 PM
    * yup
    Me 8:44 PM
    * I think we've all had the displeasure of dealing with him when he's not in the best of moods...
    $analyst 8:45 PM
    * whicj is always
    Me 8:46 PM
    * Hey at least we can't say we weren't warned by his name :)
    FNG 8:47 PM
    Be careful what you say. Remember, there are team mates with different political, social, and religious views. We have to remain politically correct so no one feels offended.
    $assistantSupervisor 8:47 PM
    * Hey, I didn't name him...
    Me 8:47 PM
    * Me either...

    Um, what? First of all, how is the fact that this local tech's last name just happens to be an extremely accurate descrption of his personaly in any way politically incorrect, not to mention the fact we couldn't make up a name like his if we tried...

    The FNG also tried to ding me a few weeks ago because I used "crap" in the IM chat, and thought it was foul language and unbecoming of anyone in IT to use such language...
    [By : skippytpodar / 2014-04-02] [Top]
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  • Just tell him you were trying to type "carp", and got no help from spell check. -Voz
  • So did Mr. Taint handle the ticket appropriately? -concept14
  • I imagine he did... We get so many tickets day in and day out, it's hard to keep track of them all, even the memorable ones :) -skippytpodar
  • I didn't know Andy Dick worked there. -AmazingKreskin
  • 19173. Coworker phrase of the day to me: "p as in pterodactyl" (said when I refused to use the phonetic alphabet and used "p as peanut b as in butter" [By :taieena / 2014-03-27] [Top]
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  • "P" as in swimming pool -Gerund
  • Now y'see, you could say "P as in Pterodactyl" to me and get nothing more than a chuckle as I entered the letter. I've gotten used to all kinds of example words used instead of one of the "standard" phonetic alphabets. Additionally - good to see you active, where ya been? -Grue
  • Thanks Grue! :) Nice to be back; I'm still alive and here....Been bouncing between tech support and customer service/non-profit credit counseling... Yikes is an understatement... Back in tech for now, though, and some of these techs are going to lead to LOTS more stories, I'm sure... -taieena
  • P as in Phonetic. -Calydor
  • lol -taieena
  • P as in Pneumonia. -AmazingKreskin
  • 19172. EU: "Do you have a USB to Serial?" ME: "No, I'm sorry but I don't have any." EU: "What is it, like a phone cord?" [By : Gunpe / 2014-03-27] [Top]
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  • If it's a phone cord, there's no dial tone. -concept14
  • 19171. The following was an actual IM chat from this evening regarding the monthly meeting we have with our Division Chief:

    FNG: What time is the monthly meeting tomorrow?
    Me: Same time it's always been, 3:30...
    $supervisor: 3:30
    $assistantSupervisor: 3:30
    FNG: Is that Eastern Time? I don't want to come in early if I don't need to.

    I soooo felt the urge, on principle, to smack the FNG upside the head for several reasons:
    • Every monthly meeting we've had with our Division Chief since we started having monthly meetings with him starts at... wait for it... wait for it... 3:30!
    • Every single one of us in our entire Division, from the FNG to our Division Chief, live and work in the Eastern Time Zone
    • Our Division Chief sends out Outlook Calendar invites with the conference call number a week prior to the meeting, along with the time of the meeting
    • Our Division Chief also sends out a reminder the day prior (as he did today) to all of us, reminding us of the meeting, along with the meeting agenda, so that we can prepare any potential questions we may have pertaining to the agenda
    • The start of our shift also happens to be 3:30, and yet none of us, in the year and a half we've been working in this Division, have even had the occasional need to come in more than 5-10 minutes early for the monthly meeting, especially seeing as we're all usually online and ready to roll by 3:25 anyway.
    And yet this kid has a degree, 18 certifications, is a CompTIA Mentor, etc., but he can't find the way out of a paper bag if he was shown the way out. And yet he managed, scarcely a year into working for our part of the Uncle's domain, and with no real-world experience in IT at all (or an ounce of common sense for that matter), to score a position in Tier III level support, when we've witnessed him get completely stumped on Tier I calls that were so obvious and easy to fix, an epileptic squirrel mid-seizure could have figured them out and fixed the issues in seconds flat. He is also the sole holdout for our Division, having refused to sign the telework paperwork until the telework system is fixed to "his" satisfaction, despite being ordered to by $supervisor and $divisionChief several times. He's had to significantly pad his resume with such things as "Prospective Employee" for $antivirusCompany, and $websiteDesigner for his own personal website and other things, saying these were actual paid jobs when they didn't even rise above the level of personal pet projects. And the rest of us still get a laugh, even 18 months later, when he asked $divisionChief if he could work on his personal website, jailbreak a Playstation 3, and do other such personal pet projects he should have been doing on his own time, and receive credit for having done them on work time by entering them into our ticketing system. Needless to say, $divisionChief emphatically said No, and said if he did such things on work time he'd be terminated immediately.

    Oh yes, and I still get a kick out of him telling me a few months back that I should expand my pepper business immediately by purchasing farmland in Central America, hiring a number of full time employees and farm hands, then build a fully licensed and inspected bottling and processing facility there, all while working full time here and financing the whole thing on my current salary.
    [By : skippytpodar / 2014-03-26] [Top]
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  • I've never seen anyone put "prospective employee" on a resume. That takes some nads! -SalParadise
  • I've never seen anyone HIRED with "Prospective Employee" on their resume! -figglywig
  • and he pretty much is the exact reason why I feel post secondary education seems more of a "receipt" than Education. -Harm
  • Harm... Not in my classes. I just failed 3 out of 7 students in my A+ class. -PsychoKittyB
  • Today's almost as bad as it was the other day... the FNG spent the first hour and 45 minutes of the shift not even logged into our phone system or in "Ready" status (we're supposed to log in and be in "Ready" status within the first 15 minutes of the start of our shift), and didn't even bother take a single phone call until myself and the other two people on the shift, including $assistantBoss, have each taken a couple calls and generated 3-4 tickets apiece, saying he was busy "reading e-mails", to which one of the analysts began to openly mock him by asking if he (the analyst) is too busy to take tickets because he's reading e-mails, to have someone else do tickets for him. The three of us even agreed to wait half an hour to see if he'd notice the e-mail request sent to have a filesystem update ticket generated with all the info an amoeba will ever need to generate a ticket, after the three of us until the afore-mentioned analyst got frustrated and generated the ticket himself. -skippytpodar
  • 19170. normally this would go in the pure random garbage thread. If you want context this is a random thought while my mind wanders while I do homework at 3am. Spongebob squarepants takes place at bikini bottom = water near bikini atoll. Spongebob and co are results of nuclear tests. [By :Icelator / 2014-03-19] [Top]
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  • http://www.cracked.com/article_21033_5-creepy-cartoon-fan-theories-that-make-way-too-much-sense.html and http://www.cracked.com/article_19882_6-insane-but-convincing-fan-theories-about-kids-cartoons.html are intresting theories along those line. Link Kinda NSFW. -DarkRookie
  • 19169. Something I had to write on an assignment I'm marking: "that was not a stegosaurus" [By :Icelator / 2014-03-18] [Top]
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  • correct. I AM A T-REX! LAUGH NOT AT MY BED MAKING ATTEMPTS, LEAST I NOM YOU! -Harm
  • 19168. Your the third computer repair guy to walk out on me this month. It's not me its all of you not knowing what your doing. [By :helix2301 / 2014-03-14] [Top]
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  • "The common denominator in all your failed relationships is you." -- despair.com -AmazingKreskin
  • 19167. Heard from my fellow network teammate: "My productivity just dropped like a bad packet." Here's why folks: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/1g84m0sXpnNCv84GpN2PLZG/the-hitchhiker-s-guide-to-the-galaxy-game-30th-anniversary-edition [By :unrenowned / 2014-03-10] [Top]
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  • Still amazing. Seems to have a problem recognizing newlines. When I hit Enter, it registers twice, prompting a "I beg your pardon?" message after every command. -AmazingKreskin
  • Must .. Get.. TEA!!! -Harm
  • 19166. FNG phrase #2: "What's the on-call for $site? I don't know what the link is."

    This is after he was sent the Sharepoint calendar link that contains the on call person for every...single...site we support on several occasions. Literally all that was required was to click on the link provided (which the rest of us have saved to Favorites), then click on the site in question to bring up the on-call calendar for that site, and two of us copied & pasted it in the info there for him. He stated he's certified in web admin and said he had experience running a Sharepoint, but yet he can't navigate ours to find info the rest of us could do in under 5 seconds? And he was working this job as long as I have...
    [By : skippytpodar / 2014-03-07] [Top]
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