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End User Phrase of the Day

What the heck is a EUPOTD? it stands for 'End User Phrase Of The Day'! Here we are looking for small crazy things that customers have said to us during the day. As of today we have 19193 EUPOTD's.

19193. So the computer has to be here for you to fix it. Can't do it magically from your office. [By :helix2301 / 2014-10-20] [Top]
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Comments

  • Every remote control application has its limits. Maybe one day I'll build or buy a telepresence robot that can replace a PSU... -chazz
  • I just want a robot that will replace the EU. -concept14
  • we can always hope: http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20021103 -madonnac
  • Last week I had a similar call. A customer's "Internet is down". After the usual fruitless troubleshooting I told her I'd be over to fix it. Obviously reluctant to actually PAY me for anything, she said "Can't you just remote in and fix it?" Now, I'm semi-retired these days and really can't be arsed with this sort of shit anymore, so I said "Just think that one through, will you? I can't think of a way of replying that doesn't sound insulting." She took the hint. -Gromit
  • 19192. "My son drank the fluid out of one of your green ice blocks. Will he be okay? The package says it's non-toxic." No, he'll be retarded all his life and he gets it from his mother -- we're an online sporting good store, not Poison Control, whom you should have called. [By :Mushroom / 2014-10-19] [Top]
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    19191. manager wont log on to internet! (i think they are talking about a computer but not sure) [By :Servo / 2014-10-09] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Sounds like an HR issue. -Calydor
  • Sounds like a non-issue. You're okay as long as the manager can't read any Gartner reports. -concept14
  • 19190. Granite - Or what the luser thought my name was. I didn't even bother to correct her. I really want to know why most people miss Brandon when I answer the phone. [By :DarkRookie / 2014-09-17] [Top]
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    Comments

  • I guess you should just be glad they didn't just call you Block Head. -Stryker One
  • Somebody call me? -Gromit
  • My name is Michael, and some one on the phone thought I said Steve, so I was Steve for the rest of the call. -harryscuz
  • Hi Steve. -Stryker One
  • ...that's confusing! Mind if we call you Bruce?... -docbrown01
  • I like it when they get my name wrong...then if they decide they're pissed at me "this is not the Droid you are looking for" tee hee -lavenderrose
  • 19189. "I can't put a DVR in the DVR." This was said by my sister about a tech problem. This was surprising because 1) She never saw the movie Inception and 2) we don't have a DVR. I followed her out to the living room so she could demonstrate the problem. The first part of the problem is she can't memorize three letters. She got 2 out of 3 correct but 66% is barely a passing grade. What she actually meant was "I can't figure out how to put a DVD in the DVD player". She demonstrated this by clawing at the drawer of the DVD player. I had to explain to her that she can open (or close) the drawer by pressing the "open/close" button. When that didn't seem to work, I tapped into my advanced arcane technical knowledge and turned the DVD player on. [By :MisterCommon / 2014-09-07] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Yes, that arcane "O-F-F" mode has stumped fishies for decades. -Stryker One
  • Hey, that "Oh-En Oh-Eff-Eff attenuator" is a mighty tricky bit of kit... -Grayhawk
  • Are you absolutely SURE she's your sister? ;-) -Gromit
  • 19188. Me: I'm looking forward to watching Sailor Moon Crystal and Doctor Who tomorrow after work. I'm a complicated man. [By :Icelator / 2014-09-05] [Top]
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    19187. CW:"How long have you worked here?" Me: *exaggerated sigh* CW: but how long is that in years? Me: "somewhere between *short sigh* and *sigh that turns into groan*" [By :Icelator / 2014-08-18] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Yep, sounds about right. -Grue
  • Don' worry, I'm here to help you. I'm a pro; I'm a vet. Hell, I've been here eight months! -RiffRaff
  • 19186. Had a customer with minor flooding in one of their facilities yesterday. (Thankfully, nothing electronic was damaged, only the floor.) I responded on site with their primary tech person and as I was shutting down the servers in a rolling rack so we could move it, she took a long look at the recently installed rack and said, with a straight face, "That is really a nice rack!" I couldn't stop myself from laughing.. eventually I said, you know, if I talked like that to you, I'd be in big trouble! [By :NightSteel / 2014-08-05] [Top]
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    19185. Dad phrase of the day: "Maybe you should join Facebook and check to see if your cousin posted something about the wedding."

    He didn't mean to log into it, he meant to actually join Facebook, a website I've had an account with for ::counts:: 7 years now. And the funniest part is, he (supposedly) has an account as well, and I'm listed as one of his friends on there, but has no clue I even have a Facebook account...

    I didn't say anything but a couple red flags went up for me. This means that either my dad's completely forgotten he's even had an account, or someone's impersonating him on FB, most likely my sister, since his profile is filled with info that only someone who knows him and talks to him frequently would know...
    [By : skippytpodar / 2014-08-04] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Ask him if he has an account. If he doesn't, Report the account for TOS violations. -McSmiley
  • 19184. "Imagine how fast it would be without McAfee, Landesk, and spyware like that." [By :concept14 / 2014-07-10] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Imagine there's no people... I wonder if you can... -RiffRaff
  • APC did that song better than Lennon!!! -DarkRookie
  • 19183. I have a laptop that needs to be reimagined [By :torgo / 2014-06-16] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Damnit Jim, I'm a technician, not an Imagineer! -docbrown01
  • I can reimagined it. With a pair of Kleins. -DarkRookie
  • Disney can do stuff like that. -Holdfast
  • [Starts looking for my Imaginarium] -CrystalMare
  • Show me more EUPOTD's in groups of: 10 50 100

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