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Customer Misconceptions

The 'Customer Misconception List' has been part of TSC since it's beginning. When you work in tech support you hear the craziest things, the EU's mind is frightening at times to say the least. From the user who believes in the mysterious Windows 96 to the one who thinks the help desk phone number is the one their computer should dial, we hear them all. If you know of a customer misconception, add it to the list. The total number of customer misconceptions that have been submitted to TSC is a whopping 8308!

8308. When I say to "shut down" that means Log off or Restart since all 3 are the same thing. [By :Starfury / 2014-10-21] [Top]
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  • And by the computer, we really mean the monitor, printer, and anything else BUT the computer, or "hard drive". -skippytpodar
  • And "Close the Window" means: "Walk across the room to close the sliding glass door". -Stryker One
  • 8307. I seriously don't understand how some people have smartphones. In fact, I'm not even sure they can tie their own shoes (or that they should be allowed to). No, I don't know your email address and password. No I'm not a (insert email provider) employee, I don't have access to your account. Yes, you can reset your password; no, I can't do it for you. Why? Because I'm not a (insert email provider) employee. I work for Major Cellular Provider...I do not have access to that email company's systems...also, we are blocked from access to external sites, so I can't even get to that website from here. (I wish I could! I'd've been done 30 minutes ago and you wouldn't be ranting at me anymore!) Yes, you really have to do it yourself. No, we don't keep track of that information here at Major Cellular Provider. Why? Because it would be a privacy violation. It is none of our business what your email address and password are. Etc, etc, ad nauseum - *headdesk* Yes, this goes for all your other accounts too - Facebook, etc. /end rant [By : lavenderrose / 2014-10-14] [Top]
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  • "Because we're not the NSA." -NightSteel
  • 8306. A single PC being off the network constitutes a "Widespread network outage" for the whole facility and directly affects patient care, even though the tech who rushed in to determine the issue noted several other PC's which were on the network and available for use in your immediate vicinity. And the source of this "widespread network outage"? The Cisco phone in-line with the PC was powered off because of a loose power cable. [By : skippytpodar / 2014-09-27] [Top]
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    8305. Apparently to this luser, when I said X-Ray I meant the letter Z and not what the word started with, X. Why Z I don't know. I mean the letter E I could understand. [By :DarkRookie / 2014-09-24] [Top]
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  • Here's a cluebat, for when simple phonetics aren't working.. -HappyCrappy
  • Why isn't "phonetic" spelt the way it sounds? -Gromit
  • 8304. If one of the two "0" keys on a keyboard isn't working, it justifies calling the tier 1 monkies and insisting it's a high priority to have the entire keyboard replaced, instead of moving your hand the few inches to use the other "0" key. [By : skippytpodar / 2014-09-05] [Top]
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  • Were they trying to use the "O", ("oh"), key instead of the "0", ("zero"), key, but their spreadsheets weren't working, so it's the keyboard's fault? -Voz
  • Close... according to the Tier 1 desk monkies, the "0" (zero) key on the numberpad side of the keyboard was borken and she simply refused to use the one next to the "-" key on the number bar above the letters. Her insistence cost the IT department 2 hours of overtime, the mandatory minimum given to the on-call for every call they take. I'm of the opinion that whichever department the starfish belongs to, bear the cost of the overtime instead of IT, and I guarantee you, if that were to happen, the percentage of calls like this will quickly plummet. -skippytpodar
  • There is a small percentage of IT folk who always opt to do on-call, because it's a cash-cow for them, especially the ones that have no social life to speak of, but for most (especially ones with families/significant others, they're glad they only do on-call once every couple of months because otherwise, they burn out quickly, and they're basically vapor-locked into staying home for the duration they're on call whenever they're not in the office. -skippytpodar
  • NumLock for the Numbskull -Madrigorne
  • I could actually see this if the starfish has to enter a lot of numeric data. Loss of the use of 10 key would be annoying. -deedadee
  • DumLock for the DumbSkull. -concept14
  • 8303. HP logic: "Hey, we don't need to put drivers on our site because Windows Update will handle that, and we don't need to put manuals on our site, since they'll be on the CDs. Supporting our products can just be someone ELSE'S job! If any techs need information on an OOP product, well, fuck 'em for not just running out and buying something new!" [By :linkv / 2014-09-03] [Top]
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  • Oh, you've noticed too, huh? :) This is one of the reasons I stopped buying HP kit a few years ago. HP have no idea how many sales they've lost to Canon and Brother over this. Sure, we'll buy a new printer if we can't find the drivers/docs, but sure as shit it ain't going to be from HP. -Gromit
  • Im confused? I see "download drivers" under support? -LassTech
  • LassTech- Sure, click that link, and it'll say "Just use Windows Update, Shit-for-brains!" Or something less techy, perhaps. -linkv
  • I tried the LaserJet 9500 for XP and it let me DL an actual driver..maybe its for some products? no clue -LassTech
  • Oh, it's very hit-and-miss. It's just lately, it's been missing more than it's been hitting. Tried finding a spec sheet for an $8000 industrial printer yesterday, could only locate it through google, not through HP's search box. For that kind of money, HP should be having data sheets, manuals, drivers, and a blowjob on page 1. -linkv
  • 8302. If you've been having problems with your phone and refused a replacement because it's an iPhone 4s instead of a 5 that's your issue. When the phone finally fails over the 3 day weekend and you want to get a replacement "ASAP" I'll be sure to respond the email you sent on Sunday at 9am since I'm up and checking my work email on holiday weekends. Oh wait...I was off all weekend and don't check my work email from home. [By :Starfury / 2014-09-02] [Top]
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  • ASAP == as slow as possible. maybe even never -Olorin
  • I know the feeling. What's even more fun is when people tell you their ohone doesn't work...you try to do a ton of troubleshooting and THEN they tell you that it's broken. I LOVE working for $MajorCellularService. Sucktomers kill me. Dude...we coulda been done 20 minutes ago of you've just told me you broke it. Use insurance. *facepalm* -lavenderrose
  • 8301. FNG misconception: That utterly unprompted and out of the clear blue sky, the rest of us on the shift want to hear about some random, virtually unproven link between aspartame and lupus, and how at 86 degrees, it's converted into formaldehyde, then formic acid and thus is a danger to human beings.

    Also, informing us that you will be working on a personal project involving the configuration of DNS for your personal home network, when you were already asked to curtail personal projects several times by $supervisor...
    [By : skippytpodar / 2014-07-29] [Top]
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    8300. When logging into a brand-new computer for the very first time, that computer will automatically know just who you are without you doing anything. It knows your name, your login, and etc. [By :KrazerKap / 2014-07-15] [Top]
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  • Worse is when you power on a brand new computer and it already knows your name - and it's not YOUR name. Back to Try's it went. (They sold it tome as new, and it obviously wasn't. ) -Captain Trips
  • 8299. Just a little story: http://notalwaysright.com/a-simple-solution-is-just-the-ticket/38373 [By :harryscuz / 2014-07-11] [Top]
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  • I've dealt with similar in years past. So I started asking 2 questions while I had them on the phone. "Is it plugged in?" "Is it turned on?" Then, because of something that happened to CD way back, I added a 3rd question. "Does the building have power at the moment?" -clockkingfl
  • 8298. Not knowing what an IP address and "all that crazy tech talk" is, is somehow grounds for getting a networked printer set up especially for you, and to have an after-hours tech drive in from home on a Friday night, just to get it set up and install ed for you, as well as insisting this is a high priority because "patient care is affected". [By : skippytpodar / 2014-06-27] [Top]
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  • "Crazy..Tech...Talk" And they wonder why we talk to them like there 5 years old. -Crai
  • You know Mr. Sucktomer...there's this amazing thing called Google out there where you can find info to help you decipher "Crazy Tech Talk"... -lavenderrose
  • Precisely, and here's some more crazy tech talk - JFGI. :) -Gromit
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