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Customer Misconceptions

The 'Customer Misconception List' has been part of TSC since it's beginning. When you work in tech support you hear the craziest things, the EU's mind is frightening at times to say the least. From the user who believes in the mysterious Windows 96 to the one who thinks the help desk phone number is the one their computer should dial, we hear them all. If you know of a customer misconception, add it to the list. The total number of customer misconceptions that have been submitted to TSC is a whopping 8325!

8325. Former job had me installing security cameras. In one building, I had to install them over the entrance... A door that faced west and had several trees in front of it. At a certain time of day, the shadow would fall across the viewing area, making it hard to see certain details. Fishy asked me if something could be done about that. OH YES, LET ME GET STARTED ON MOVING THE SUN!!! [By :linkv / 2015-03-05] [Top]
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8324. Why am I supposed to be upset when you threatend "I'M ABOUT READY TO THROW IT OUT THA WINDOW!!!" when you get mad at your computer? You're not threatening to throw *me* out the window, after all, and I'd have you in jail if you did. And if you did throw your computer out the window, you wouldn't have a computer anymore, and therefore would have no reason to talk to me. So it's a win-win for me. [By :linkv / 2015-02-19] [Top]
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Comments

  • "What it mean, 'PC LOAD LETTER'?" -Captain Trips
  • 8323. If you are going to steal lottery tickets, for the love of Cthulu, don't redeem the winning tickets in the store you work at. C'mon, you're making this too easy. Also arrested in the store and escorted out in cuffs. [By : RiffRaff / 2015-02-18] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Been spending too much time on facebook. I was looking for the "like" button... -Captain Trips
  • More Morons Abound! -Grue
  • 8322. One computer having trouble connecting to the wireless LAN constitutes a Regional emergency requiring overtime, conference calls, etc. [By : skippytpodar / 2015-01-19] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Gotta love it.... -Grue
  • Seems to be par for the course here -DarkRookie
  • Well, if they're willing to pay the bill for that level of service.... -Stryker One
  • Well, if it's the CEO's computer his secretary prints out his e-mails from, then yes - it is an emergency. -Captain Trips
  • 8321. Actually a boss misconception - let's remove 5 agents from your team and then wonder why we fell so behind in getting work orders sent out....hmmmm. Let's not consider that we also lost 3 agents prior to that that you didn't have the budget to replace. Let's increase our customer base by 100 000 people in the last 12 months. Let's add 3 new systems to deal with. But obviously we must just be slackers and are goofing off instead of working. [By :frprinterwiz / 2014-12-29] [Top]
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    8320. We at <company> helpdesk are going to assist you with your home network setup because we know everything about your hardware...even if you don't have a clue. In reality our troubleshooting (by policy) is pretty much limited to "Try turning it off and on again." There are MANY reasons for this but the primary is that we don't want to become your home network support center. [By :Starfury / 2014-12-29] [Top]
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    8319. When you call in at 2am Saturday morning because you've traveled to Japan and didn't let us know before you left I'll be able to make your phone work. I am sorry that the analyst that you spoke to on Friday (company holiday) screwed up and didn't do more than open/transfer/close the ticket before getting confirmation that the work was done...but I can't do anything about it now other than send an email and hope that someone will work on it in the morning our time. [By :Starfury / 2014-12-27] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Yeah...right..."whoops!" -Grue
  • Best part: Not my ticket. So when I re-opened the ticket the original analyst will get the inevitable negative survey since he messed up in the first place. I've been here long enough to know how to work the system. -Starfury
  • 8318. Today's misconception is a coworker misconception: I dont need any equipment on hand or time to prepare it before I can deploy a computer to a user. I can just magically make readily imaged computers and laptops out of thin air at will by blinking and then deploy them whenever, even at times when I'm not scheduled to be here at work yet. [By :KrazerKap / 2014-11-24] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Yeah, we get this one all the time here as well. We're supposed to crap computers out of thin air even after we notify (in advance!) the requestor that they hadn't purchased a computer for the user & that there wouldn't be one waiting for them as a result. They always try to make it our fault that the unpurchased computer doesn't exist. *facepalm* -Grue
  • I create the new hire accounts and really enjoy the new hire report being sent out at 5:30pm (when I leave at 2pm) with 20 contract attorneys starting that day. -Starfury
  • 8317. All computer errors are the users fault. I was doing physical inventory today using remote handheld scanner for data entry. After logging one section, the system spit out four pages indicating nothing was counted and a single page listing 20 items whose quantity varied from the on hand report by +/- 1-2 items. They claimed I screwed up the data entry by failing to enter any line items causing the four page report. Never mind that the 20 items on the variance report were all on the not counted list. And it only happened on 1 of 10 sections I entered. [By :PolarCoyote / 2014-11-21] [Top]
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    Comments

  • The scanner controller had a 'sticky-bit' incident and decided to fake a user error. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • 8316. How about a headhunter misconception? Got a call last night from New Jersey, from a guy trying to pitch a job in Greencastle, IN. I am on the south side of Indy. He said it was a 15 minute drive. It is 50 miles away... I did the math - yes, it is 15 minutes... if you go 199.8 mph. [By :figglywig / 2014-11-13] [Top]
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    Comments

  • When this baby hits 199.8 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit. -AmazingKreskin
  • Later: "Nononono - I said FIFTY minutes, I dunno how you thought I said FIFTEEN!" -Grue
  • did I say greencastle no no no I meant greenwood. (ducks into the lart shelter.)Figgly if your looking let me know I can get you in touch with a real recruiter. -deedadee
  • You're lucky. For a while, I was getting calls from recruiters saying things to the effect of, "We think with your technical expertise, you'd be great for selling insurance over the phone". -Biosynthetic
  • I get those, too - where, in my resume, does it say anything about sales experience?? Nowhere, that's where. And I get offers for 3-month contracts at less than half per hour of what I make now. Uh... no. -figglywig
  • The last time I had my name with a couple of agencies, they kept on pushing jobs that needed a 2 hour commute. I had told them the area that I would consider. They just ignore that. -Holdfast
  • Now all you need is one of these http://www.autosnout.com/Top-Speed/Top-Speed-Over-200mph-Car-List.php and no traffic. -Stryker One
  • It goes in cycles where I'll get a bunch of "random recruiter" emails and calls. Usually low pay contract work or something that's out of state. They seem surprised when I tell them I'm not leaving my current position for some contract job that pays half of what I make now. -Starfury
  • I'll take this one - http://www.autosnout.com/Car-Performance-Statistics.php?Specs&EditionID=222 -figglywig
  • I get multiple emails from recruiters every week for temp contracts...on the other side of Oregon. -LaFiamma
  • 8315. Here's a misconception for you - that I will know what to do when my job is inexplicably changed one day from Client Support to 'Order Fulfillment' (whatever the hell that means), and you provide no scope of duties, no job description, no training, and a vague sense that I will have to do Project Management, but I have no background or certifications in that. How I am expected to do that well enough to be useful, I do not know. If that isn't enough, there is some expectation from local manufacturing management that I can fix some VB.net coded visualization board, since I have no experience coding VB.net. 'Can you take a stab at it?' No. [By :figglywig / 2014-11-12] [Top]
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    Comments

  • WTF? -RiffRaff
  • 'Can you take a stab at it?' Sure... can I borrow your knife? -srteach
  • I am sure an unspoken part of the job description includes reading the clients' minds, and the project management includes keeping ahead of whatever they want that they haven't asked for. -concept14
  • and the PM part of it also involves an intricate knowledge of SAP (which I've never used), and how it is implemented in multiple manufacturing plants across the country (per transaction code). I must contact responsible individuals at those other plants to find out if someone's proposed change will affect them in any way... however, I do not know very many people AT these other company locations, who they are, what they do, etc. I am the second-newest addition to Client Support, when I was part of it, and have the least experience dealing with other plants. They have their own Client Support personnel. There are other things wrong with this reassignment - all my travel has been cut, so no additional funds come my way from that, nor any occasional OT. I have had an approximate 6% pay cut, and when this was pointed out, my new boss said, 'I understand your concerns.' Yeah... no you don't. -figglywig
  • Time for you to spin the Wheel of New Employment, it seems. -Grue
  • SAP? Ouch, you have my sympathies. I don't believe a more byzantine program has ever been written. -Stryker One
  • Uh, stab me. Please. I need the Workers Comp. -beatmewithstick
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