6057. I am no longer allow to answer a luser's question "How did you get so smart at computers" by responding "I refuse to let a box that doesn't think, out smart me" [By : DarkRookie / 2013-05-16] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule Comments I'm so using that next time. Rules, smoools. -docbrown01

6056. A desktop tech should always have a dead hard drive with several bullet holes in it. When a computer acts up you take it to the job, threaten the computer that it will get several bullets in it like this one did unless it starts acting normal. [By :crazymactech / 2013-05-02] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule Comments I just threaten to reprogram them with a fire ax, and the get into shape. -Captain Trips Thermite from orbit it's the only way to be sure! -deedadee Thermite from orbit it's the only way to be sure! -deedadee I find 'casually' setting a Phillips screwdriver in plain sight seems to motivate them to cooperate. I wonder how many Doctors keep models of 'innards' in the office for the same reason? -digitalguy1127 I've had mine for a long time now. http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=79519 -SalParadise

6055. The day you discover that $centralOffice inspectors have arrived, and both $regionalDirector and $stateCIO are here is the same day you come in to work wearing a Rock Band t-shirt. Lucky for me, I'm in a corner of the department where I have to turn around to be seen ::snicker:: [By : skippytpodar / 2013-04-02] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule

6054. NEVER put decaf coffee in the regular coffee pot. Also, ALWAYS make another pot of coffee if you empty one. Not following these rules shall be punished with a slow, very painful DEATH! [By : DarkRookie / 2013-04-02] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule Comments However if you commit the opposite sin of caf in the decaf your death shall be quick because we're more awake. -Icelator I once saw someone make decaf in the regular pot, and they didn't understand the problem. "After all, I want decaf, and I know which pot it's in. Besides, what's the difference?" -Captain Trips Since I don't drink coffee I would probably be the one to just pick an empty pot and make whatever if someone asked me to. But I can see it'd be kind of like the question, "Who p!$$ed in your cornflakes this morning?" So, I may -pass- on any coffee making *lol*. -spectreoflife "YOU KILL THE JOE, YOU MAKE SOME 'MO!" - Terry Tate - Office Linebacker -JoeLugian "There is a place and time for decaf coffee: In the trash and never" - As seen on the BookFace -Grayhawk

6053. I work at a service desk. S-E-R-V-I-C-E desk. And by service desk I do NOT mean "Universal-Do-Anything-You-Need" desk. We still have a scope of support. We're basically a service station for your computers, network and supported peripherals. You should ONLY BE CALLING US if something that used to work now doesn't. That's it. We fix stuff that isn't working. Oh, and we go by OUR definition of "isn't working", not yours. That means we don't consider it our problem if you need access granted to a shared private folder, or need an account created for you, or need a program installed that isn't part of your base build. That last one is one you should pay careful attention to, because some of you think that if you USED TO have such a program, even if it was five years ago, and now you don't anymore, that this qualifies as "something isn't working." Nope, it's working just fine. You just don't have it. And we don't care; that's what your office requisition manager is for. And yes, sometimes your boss will say "Call the service desk" when faced with a problem like those I described above. And you, being the trusting rube that you are, probably assumed that meant "The service desk is in charge of this issue." Oh, you poor starfish, you. When your boss says "call the service desk", this is boss code for "How the fuck should I know? Oh, I know, I'll tell them to call the service desk. That'll get 'em out of my hair." [By :Waish / 2013-03-14] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule Comments "But you're the Help Desk, why aren't you helping me?!" -AmazingKreskin So, I can't call the service desk to get "serviced"? -Stryker One Reminds me of the time a co-worker got annoyed me with me for saying "Help Desk". She said to me, in a rather loud voice (so *everyone* on the team heard it) "We are not a Help Desk, we are the SERVICE desk! We don't help people, we serv..." ::comment dies off to embarrassed silence:: -Grayhawk

6052. Beware the user who just learned the difference between "internet" and "intranet". They will be obnoxious as fuck. [By :linkv / 2013-02-26] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule Comments That's what Otis is for. -Stryker One You actually got one that was able to tell the difference. -DarkRookie This applies to my wife, unfortunately. She always stresses the "tra" so she doesn't say "internet" by mistake. -thx1138 I had a hard time today with problems in Intranet Exploder. Our SheerPain website took forever to load. -concept14

6051. Just when you think it's all bad someone will surprise you Sent a tablet back to ASUS because the display quit after a 6" drop onto carpet. Now, I had sent it back about 3 months ago cause I dropped it onto asphalt (MY BAD) and they fixed it under warrenty. Hooray for them. But now, warrenty was expired, so I figured this one was gonna cost me. Boy, was I wrong. They not only repaired it no cost, they even had to replace parts. Now I ask you, does anyone else out there have an example of non-warrrenty repair being done for free, even when it is the CUSTOMERS (me) fault? Guess what brand my next machine is gonna be..... [By :Source / 2013-02-19] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule Comments My experience of this was, some years ago Dell did this offer of a decent little server for £99. I managed to fry the MB by not having suitable things to stop harm from lightning. It was a church so it wasn't insured either. Dell came out and replaced the MB with a better one than it had started with. Some people may sneer at Dell. I don't. -Holdfast Huh. I might want to call Asus for a quote on my DVD drive, heatsink and headphone jack. Probably won't have the same luck, but who knows. -linuxmatt I've always had good luck with their hardware. Haven't had to use their customer service yet. -thx1138

6050. After updating deployment image, completing audit, you will find a new update. [By :MaskedMarauder / 2013-02-15] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule

6049. The lusers name is Andy and not Andi Pink (She is NSFW BTW) Glad I caught myself on that one before the ticket was saved [By : DarkRookie / 2013-02-15] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule Comments Thanks for something nice to google! -ChildofCthulhu

6048. I am no longer allow to rick roll someone by proxy. Backstory: Someone in chat ask a question on what a rick roll was. I didn't see the question, but the L2 sits near me chuckled about that. I told him to send the agent the link http://bit.ly/r8BnS7 and look it up when on break. 30 seconds later, the song started playing over the cubes and I nearly died laughing [By : DarkRookie / 2013-02-15] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule

6047. That being 40 years my senior means I have to automatically confer respect to you. [By : DarkRookie / 2013-02-12] [Top] Comment on this Tech Rule Comments Wisdom does not always come with age...Most times Age comes alone...and like the annoying relative or college friend, never leaves. -ChildofCthulhu I would think the fact that he survived on this planet for 40 more years than you would be worth something... -Captain Trips

Show me more Tech Rules in groups of:

10

50

100