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Tech Songs

Here are some tech songs that you can use to help get through the day. As of today TSC has received 533 tech songs submitted by members!

533. Subject: The Girl from Sunken R’lyeh

Another one from Dr. Bob, who tells me this ran through his mind while he was biking in to work. This was originally The Girl From Ipanema, if I recall correctly.

Tall and green and pentapodal,
the girl from Sunken R’lyeh goes walking
And when she passes, each one she passes goes -
AAAAAAAAH!

When she walks, it’s like
Take Five performed by
Brubeck upon the
piano...

Oh, but I watch her so sadly
As she eats the entrails of the living
Yes, I would give my heart gladly...

And today when she crawls from the sea
She lurches directly to me...
I smile at her eyeless face - but she doesn't see
(She just doesn't see, she never sees me...)

[By :chazz / 2012-11-01] [Top]
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  • *applause* -Grue
  • Mom?!??!? -ChildofCthulhu
  • 532. Subject: Fun, Fun, Fun

    With thanks to Dr. Bob (whose words these really are) and apologies to the Beach Boys...

    Well she logged onto the system with a rootkit on her USB key now,
    She loaded up the sucker, and she gets all her classes for free now,
    She’s got an A+ in English and the prof only gave her a D now,
    And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till the sysop takes her password away!

    She used to get her sleep but the gal’s been staying up late now,
    She’s been playing World of Warcraft, thirty-six hours straight now,
    She’s wearing Depends, but she’s at level seventy-eight now
    And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till the sysop takes her password away!

    Well, the girls can’t stand her cause they say she acts like a man now,
    So to prove she’s a girl, she’s put a picture of her tits on 4chan now,
    She’s posted Pentagon files to a server in Kazakhstan now,
    And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till the sysop takes her password away!

    Ah well you knew that the sysop was starting to get wise to you now,
    Hacking his homepage wasn't such a smart thing to do now,
    But you've hacked into the password file, decrypted it too now,
    And you'll have fun, fun, fun while the doctors take the sysop away!

    [By :chazz / 2012-10-14] [Top]
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    531. Subject: Luke, oh Luke!
    Gunpe inspired me to post this, which I came up with about 30 years ago: (to the Star Wars Imperial March)

    Here comes the Empire
    We're big and we're mean.
    We don't care much
    who gets in our way.
    Get out of our way
    whenever we're here -
    Or you may find that
    your end is near.
    [By :Captain Trips / 2011-06-06] [Top]
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    Comments

  • "Hail to the chief, if you don't, I'll have to kill you. I am the chief, so you better watch your step, you bastards. ..."</my fellow americans> -AmazingKreskin
  • 530. Subject: Not mine though - Geek Music!
    This guy was featured on NPR and his music is pretty killer and hilarious in a semi-Barenaked Ladies sort of way. I especially love "Code Monkey"and "IKEA." http://www.jonathancoulton.com/primer/listen/
    [By :MrsCheezil / 2011-05-13] [Top]
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    Comments

  • http://notinventedhe.re/on/2009-11-18 -chazz
  • Love it. -MrsCheezil
  • You are just NOW learning of JoCo?! -unrenowned
  • Same guy who did GlaDOS' closing solo from Portal, if I'm not mistaken. -NightSteel
  • I'm a late bloomer I guess. -MrsCheezil
  • Yep, JoCo wrote "Still Alive" for Portal. Didn't someone post a link to "First of May" on the first of May? -DukeOfURL
  • unrenowned did, yes. -Omega
  • "All we wanna do is eat your brains, we're not unreasonable, I mean, no-one's gonna eat your eyes." - Zombie song -ApolloSZ
  • I just woke from a nap singing "Code Monkey." (I was going to say HUMMING Code Monkey, but, well. NO.) -MrsCheezil
  • 529. Subject: A Statistical Lament

    Dr. Bob, who I have spoken of before, has recently been inspired to write replacement lyrics for a song. These were published here: http://www.lablit.com/article/646 -- posted here with permission.

    After Joni Mitchell - "Clouds".

    Rows and flows of lines and spots,
    Histograms and digidots,
    Box-and-whiskers, quantile plots
    I've looked at stats that way
    But is it just a picture show?
    If something’s there how will you know?
    And if they say it isn’t so
    What is there left to say?
    I've looked at plots from both sides now,
    Transformed and spun them: still, somehow,
    It’s plots’ illusions I recall,
    I really can’t trust plots at all.

    Dainty ladies tasting teas
    Rejecting null hypotheses
    At standard probabilities
    I've looked at stats that way.
    But is it just a lottery?
    At four percent they all agree;
    At six percent the referee
    Says “take this junk away.”
    I've looked at tests from both sides now:
    Retain, reject – and still somehow
    I look at tests and I recall
    I really can’t accept at all.

    Ways of Bayes and likelihood,
    We'll teach the things we know we should,
    The True, the Beautiful, the Good
    And blow the clouds away.
    But now my class are acting strange,
    They tell the Dean that I’m deranged
    And that they need (till customs change)
    Their tests and EDA.
    From both sides now I've looked Bayes o'er,
    Both prior and posterior:
    It’s mass confusion I recall,
    I really can’t teach Bayes, at all.

    [By :chazz / 2011-02-07] [Top]
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    Comments

  • *applause* -Grue
  • *waves her lap blanket in the air* bravo! -AdmiralLaurie
  • That's an absolute classic! -Gromit
  • This is filksong hall of fame material. -concept14
  • I've always heard maths and music were related. -AussieFoot
  • 528. Subject: Sunny Afternoon

    Based on Sunny Afternoon by The Kinks
    Original lyrics - http://www.metrolyrics.com/sunny-afternoon-lyrics-kinks.html

    The office tarnished all my glow
    And left me in a state of woe
    Working on a sunny afternoon

    And I can't drink a shot
    It's time for me to sober up
    I've gotta work this sunny afternoon

    Save me, save me
    Save me, save me please
    I've got a big fat workload tryin' to break me

    And I'd love to read my TSC
    Lift a lager endlessly
    Not work on a sunny afternoon
    In the summertime, in the summertime
    In the summertime

    The fish have cross-bred with a star
    Are causin' problems near and far
    Keeping me from drunkenness and gaming

    Now I'm sitting here
    Wishing for an ice cold beer
    Working on a sunny afternoon

    Help me, help me, help me sneak away
    Well, give me two good reasons
    Why I ought to stay

    Cause I'd love to read my TSC
    Lift a lager endlessly
    Not work on a sunny afternoon
    In the summertime, in the summertime
    In the summertime

    Save me, save me
    Save me, save me please
    I've got a big fat workload tryin' to break me

    And I'd love to read my TSC
    Lift a lager endlessly
    Not work on a sunny afternoon

    In the summertime, in the summertime
    In the summertime, in the summertime
    What a bummertime

    (my condolences to those who really do have a big fat workload this soon in the new year)
    [By :AussieFoot / 2011-01-06] [Top]
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    Comments

  • /applaud -Diptera
  • The Kinks rule! /applause -SalParadise
  • finally some tech songs where I know the original! excellent tech song! -DedSysOp
  • 527. Subject: On Dial Up

    Based on Tom Jones - Delilah
    Lyrics from http://www.metrolyrics.com/delilah-lyrics-tom-jones.html

    I saw four lights on the side of the DSL router
    I saw them flickering tell-tales of being online

    That was my broadband
    And then disaster it stopped and I went offline

    Now, I, am, on dial-up
    It's, so, slow, on dial-up

    I could see that speed was no good for me
    But internet made me a slave that no man could free

    At break of day when the helpdesk awakes I was waiting
    I called the line to the techs and was put in the queue

    They were in Delhi
    I heard the George in their voice and hope was no more

    So, I'm, stuck, on dial-up
    I'm, so, sad, on dial-up

    Such a chore, this speed makes a web surf a bore
    F this slow dialup, I just cannot take any more

    Pages are loading
    I count the pixels appear just one two three four

    That's, the, speed, on dial-up
    I'm, going, mad, on dial-up

    I'm in hell, it feels like I'm with AOL
    F this slow dialup, I just cannot take any more
    F this slow dialup, I just cannot take any more

    [By :AussieFoot / 2011-01-05] [Top]
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    Comments

  • most awesome! .. now I'm going to have this stuck in my head all day... -DedSysOp
  • 526. Subject: Read It

    Based on Beat It by Michael Jackson
    http://www.lyricsdepot.com/michael-jackson/beat-it.html

    I told him don't you understand it it's clear
    Don't wanna understand just screams for someone near
    It's vacant in their eyes, vacuum between their ears
    Please read it, just read it

    You better come, you better do what you can
    Don't wanna read a book, don't want a site to scan
    Don't wanna think it through even though we all can
    Please read it, just go RTFM

    Just read it, read it, read it, read it
    No risk your work will be deleted
    It's not in Chinese, it's not in code
    Just open the manual and follow your nose
    Just read it, read it
    Just read it, read it
    Just read it, read it
    Just read it, read it

    We'll start to bill you, better read while you can
    Don't wanna get a LART you better read that man
    You're no longer five, better act like a man
    So read it, just read it

    You have to show them there's no need to be scared
    Not playin' with your life, there ain't no need to fear
    It'll help you, it'll teach you
    Then it all becomes clear
    Please read it, just go RTFM

    Just read it, read it, read it, read it
    No risk your work will be deleted
    It's not in Chinese, it's not in code
    Just open the manual and follow your nose

    Just read it, read it, read it, read it
    No risk your work will be deleted
    It's not in Chinese, it's not in code
    Just open the manual and follow your nose

    Just read it, read it, read it, read it
    No risk your work will be deleted
    It's not in Chinese, it's not in code
    Just open the manual and follow your nose
    Just read it, read it
    Read it, read it, read it

    (repeats chorus a few times)

    [By :AussieFoot / 2010-11-03] [Top]
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    Comments

  • *applause* -Grue
  • Nice one! -MadJack
  • BRAVO!!!!!! But damn that's going to be in head all day.... -redevil34
  • (waves BIC lighter) Wahoo! -ecoli
  • nice filk on a dead chomo. -HappyCrappy
  • 525. Subject: Payday
    Wow! nearly 5 years since I've posted one of these, where does the time go?!
    this song started out thinking it was Warrent - Heaven

    Got a ticket 'bout your mouse
    And it's tangled on the floor
    Its bus connectors frayed
    And the cats been at the cord..

    From the factory never worked
    Yet you never sent it back
    The packaging is great
    but ma'am, they'll never take it back

    I don't want to be out here on this call
    This client isn't evil, she's a little slow

    Payday in just one more day
    Vodka tonic keeps me sane
    I'm homicidal everyday

    Now your keyboard smells of food
    And your stench it burns my eyes
    A rotten sandwich made of ham oh
    I would love for you to die

    Well I work late into the night
    And you still call and neep
    Wanna wrap my noose around you
    So you can't ever breed

    I don't want to have to hold your hand
    As long as you are paying, I suppose I can

    Payday in just one more day
    Vodka tonic keeps me sane
    I'm homicidal everyday
    I'll make you pay, yeah

    And most nights I'm going out
    'Course I'm drinkin' hard
    The stupid fish keep calling back
    And it makes me pretty sad

    There is nothing that you know
    And I no longer care
    You don't know what to do
    Everyone has given up on you

    Payday in just one more day
    Vodka tonic keeps me sane
    I'm homicidal everyday
    I think I'm gonna kill today

    Payday
    Oh, oh, oh, oh
    Vodka
    Oh, oh, oh, oh
    Payday
    It's not too far away, oh, oh
    Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah



    Don't know if this is a return for me or just a one off... Stroke my ego/crush my self esteem peoples --- comments link :P
    [By :DedSysOp / 2010-09-09] [Top]
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    Comments

  • Warrant even... -DedSysOp
  • ::Lights lighter and waves it back and forth:: -Grayhawk
  • "I don't want to have to hold your hand / As long as you are paying, I suppose I can" -- love it! -Mer
  • dreamy clapping. beautiful, just gorgeous -AdmiralLaurie
  • Ok, I have to admit that this is the first tech song in a long time that I recognized the song it was meant to sound like. I am a child of the 80's, Warrant ROCKS! WOOO!!! -JoeLugian
  • DUDE that fucking rocks!!!!!! -THETECHFROMHELL
  • Ugh, you know I hate that song. <3<3<3 (Hey everybody...!) :P But I like your lyrics. COME HOME. -TranceGemini
  • *Cues up his Android Lighter app* -unrenowned
  • 524. Subject: Tech Support
    To the tune of the Pokemon theme by Billy Crawford

    In gratitude to my anonymous star benefactor because I am a ditz and my big butt didn't register until this afternoon.

    (... but mainly because I got bored after processing a set of Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Adventures manga)

    Our network is the very nest
    Our budget will allow
    To train them is my real test
    To LART them is my cause (oooh)
    They want their bloatware Weatherbug
    They want their purple ape
    Uploading pictures, downloading apps--
    Commiting bandwidth rape! (Bandwidth rape!)

    CHORUS
    Tech support!
    It's you and me.
    I know their stupidity!
    Tech support!
    Otis you're my best friend
    This network we must defend
    Tech support!
    A TINK so loud
    We'll chase out the spyware crowd
    We'll clean up the network cloud
    Tech support!
    (Gotta LART em) Gotta LART em Gotta LART em all!

    All the spyware along the way
    With Otis I will face
    I will battle every day
    To free up hard drive space!
    LART with me, they have no fear!
    There's no better time
    For effective discipline
    When they neep and whine!

    CHORUS (x2)

    (I'll LART you!)
    (Gotta LART em Gotta LART em Gotta LART em all!)
    Tech support!
    [By :Dante668 / 2010-08-10] [Top]
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    Comments

  • I.... I'm ashamed to admit, I knew the tune.... On that note, the words fit really well! -ApolloSZ
  • Classic. and yeah I know the tune too. -Phylok
  • I've got no idea what the tune is but I just substituted a generic mash of Japanese kids show themes and that seemed to work. Well done. -AussieFoot
  • I got a good chuckle reading this- fits the tune perfectly! -Mach327
  • BRAVO! Encore! -KrazerKap
  • 523. Subject: No Fish Today

    Based on No Milk Today by Hermans Hermits
    http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/h/hermitshermans10586/nomilktoday340806.html



    No fish today, my pain has gone away
    The handset stands forlorn, the neeping noise is gone
    No fish today, it's not a common plight
    Enjoy it while you can, don't ask the reason why

    How could I know just what this really means
    The end of all the dopes, the end of all the neeps
    How could they know the pressure there had been
    Behind the door where my mind ran and screamed

    No fish today, it isn't always so
    The company was lame, they'd turn bright into "Doh!"

    But for today is a place bright and homey
    A sunny sky through a window near my desk
    Becomes a sigh when I think that it's only
    Just too good to last

    No fish today, it isn't always so
    The company was lame, they'd turn bright into "Doh!"
    Hold music played so faster did we dance
    We felt our anger swell, the start of our call hell

    How could I know just what this really means
    The end of all the dopes, the end of all the neeps
    How could they know the pressure there had been
    Behind the door where my mind ran and screamed

    No fish today, my pain has gone away
    The handset stands forlorn, the neeping noise is gone

    But for today is a place bright and homey
    A sunny sky through a window near my desk
    Becomes a sigh when I think that it's only
    Just too good to last

    No fish today, my pain has gone away
    The handset stands forlorn, the neeping noise is gone
    No fish today, it's not a common plight
    Enjoy it while you can, don't ask the reason why

    How could I know just what this really means
    The end of all the dopes, the end of all the neeps
    How could they know the pressure there had been
    Behind the door where my mind ran and screamed

    No fish today, it isn't always so
    The company was lame, they'd turn bright into "Doh!"

    But for today is a place bright and homey
    A sunny sky through a window near my desk
    Oh for today is a place bright and homey
    A sunny sky through a window near my desk
    Oh for today is a place bright and homey
    A sunny sky through a window near my desk

    [By :AussieFoot / 2010-08-10] [Top]
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    Comments

  • I claim partial responsibility for this song!! I demand royalties -PoglaTheGrate
  • Has anyone thought of making a TSC album? I am sure at least one of can sing....If it isn't marketable at least it would be good times for us. -0gr3
  • it's certainly crossed my mind.... -AdmiralLaurie
  • Show me more Tech Songs in groups of: 10 50 100

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