536. Subject: The Girl from Sunken R’lyeh Another one from Dr. Bob, who tells me this ran through his mind while he was biking in to work. This was originally The Girl From Ipanema, if I recall correctly. Tall and green and pentapodal, the girl from Sunken R’lyeh goes walking And when she passes, each one she passes goes - AAAAAAAAH! When she walks, it’s like Take Five performed by Brubeck upon the piano... Oh, but I watch her so sadly As she eats the entrails of the living Yes, I would give my heart gladly... And today when she crawls from the sea She lurches directly to me... I smile at her eyeless face - but she doesn't see (She just doesn't see, she never sees me...) [By : chazz / 2012-11-01] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song Comments *applause* -Grue Mom?!??!? -ChildofCthulhu

535. Subject: Fun, Fun, Fun With thanks to Dr. Bob (whose words these really are) and apologies to the Beach Boys... Well she logged onto the system with a rootkit on her USB key now, She loaded up the sucker, and she gets all her classes for free now, She’s got an A+ in English and the prof only gave her a D now, And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till the sysop takes her password away! She used to get her sleep but the gal’s been staying up late now, She’s been playing World of Warcraft, thirty-six hours straight now, She’s wearing Depends, but she’s at level seventy-eight now And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till the sysop takes her password away! Well, the girls can’t stand her cause they say she acts like a man now, So to prove she’s a girl, she’s put a picture of her tits on 4chan now, She’s posted Pentagon files to a server in Kazakhstan now, And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till the sysop takes her password away! Ah well you knew that the sysop was starting to get wise to you now, Hacking his homepage wasn't such a smart thing to do now, But you've hacked into the password file, decrypted it too now, And you'll have fun, fun, fun while the doctors take the sysop away! [By : chazz / 2012-10-14] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song

534. Subject: Luke, oh Luke! Gunpe inspired me to post this, which I came up with about 30 years ago: (to the Star Wars Imperial March) Here comes the Empire We're big and we're mean. We don't care much who gets in our way. Get out of our way whenever we're here - Or you may find that your end is near. [By :Captain Trips / 2011-06-06] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song Comments "Hail to the chief, if you don't, I'll have to kill you. I am the chief, so you better watch your step, you bastards. ..."</my fellow americans> -AmazingKreskin

533. Subject: Not mine though - Geek Music! This guy was featured on NPR and his music is pretty killer and hilarious in a semi-Barenaked Ladies sort of way. I especially love "Code Monkey"and "IKEA." http://www.jonathancoulton.com/primer/listen/ [By :MrsCheezil / 2011-05-13] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song Comments http://notinventedhe.re/on/2009-11-18 -chazz Love it. -MrsCheezil You are just NOW learning of JoCo?! -unrenowned Same guy who did GlaDOS' closing solo from Portal, if I'm not mistaken. -NightSteel I'm a late bloomer I guess. -MrsCheezil Yep, JoCo wrote "Still Alive" for Portal. Didn't someone post a link to "First of May" on the first of May? -DukeOfURL unrenowned did, yes. -Omega "All we wanna do is eat your brains, we're not unreasonable, I mean, no-one's gonna eat your eyes." - Zombie song -ApolloSZ I just woke from a nap singing "Code Monkey." (I was going to say HUMMING Code Monkey, but, well. NO.) -MrsCheezil

532. Subject: A Statistical Lament Dr. Bob, who I have spoken of before, has recently been inspired to write replacement lyrics for a song. These were published here: http://www.lablit.com/article/646 -- posted here with permission. After Joni Mitchell - "Clouds". Rows and flows of lines and spots, Histograms and digidots, Box-and-whiskers, quantile plots I've looked at stats that way But is it just a picture show? If something’s there how will you know? And if they say it isn’t so What is there left to say? I've looked at plots from both sides now, Transformed and spun them: still, somehow, It’s plots’ illusions I recall, I really can’t trust plots at all. Dainty ladies tasting teas Rejecting null hypotheses At standard probabilities I've looked at stats that way. But is it just a lottery? At four percent they all agree; At six percent the referee Says “take this junk away.” I've looked at tests from both sides now: Retain, reject – and still somehow I look at tests and I recall I really can’t accept at all. Ways of Bayes and likelihood, We'll teach the things we know we should, The True, the Beautiful, the Good And blow the clouds away. But now my class are acting strange, They tell the Dean that I’m deranged And that they need (till customs change) Their tests and EDA. From both sides now I've looked Bayes o'er, Both prior and posterior: It’s mass confusion I recall, I really can’t teach Bayes, at all. [By : chazz / 2011-02-07] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song Comments *applause* -Grue *waves her lap blanket in the air* bravo! -AdmiralLaurie That's an absolute classic! -Gromit This is filksong hall of fame material. -concept14 I've always heard maths and music were related. -AussieFoot

531. Subject: Sunny Afternoon Based on Sunny Afternoon by The Kinks Original lyrics - http://www.metrolyrics.com/sunny-afternoon-lyrics-kinks.html The office tarnished all my glow And left me in a state of woe Working on a sunny afternoon And I can't drink a shot It's time for me to sober up I've gotta work this sunny afternoon Save me, save me Save me, save me please I've got a big fat workload tryin' to break me And I'd love to read my TSC Lift a lager endlessly Not work on a sunny afternoon In the summertime, in the summertime In the summertime The fish have cross-bred with a star Are causin' problems near and far Keeping me from drunkenness and gaming Now I'm sitting here Wishing for an ice cold beer Working on a sunny afternoon Help me, help me, help me sneak away Well, give me two good reasons Why I ought to stay Cause I'd love to read my TSC Lift a lager endlessly Not work on a sunny afternoon In the summertime, in the summertime In the summertime Save me, save me Save me, save me please I've got a big fat workload tryin' to break me And I'd love to read my TSC Lift a lager endlessly Not work on a sunny afternoon In the summertime, in the summertime In the summertime, in the summertime What a bummertime (my condolences to those who really do have a big fat workload this soon in the new year) [By :AussieFoot / 2011-01-06] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song Comments /applaud -Diptera The Kinks rule! /applause -SalParadise finally some tech songs where I know the original! excellent tech song! -DedSysOp

530. Subject: On Dial Up Based on Tom Jones - Delilah Lyrics from http://www.metrolyrics.com/delilah-lyrics-tom-jones.html I saw four lights on the side of the DSL router I saw them flickering tell-tales of being online That was my broadband And then disaster it stopped and I went offline Now, I, am, on dial-up It's, so, slow, on dial-up I could see that speed was no good for me But internet made me a slave that no man could free At break of day when the helpdesk awakes I was waiting I called the line to the techs and was put in the queue They were in Delhi I heard the George in their voice and hope was no more So, I'm, stuck, on dial-up I'm, so, sad, on dial-up Such a chore, this speed makes a web surf a bore F this slow dialup, I just cannot take any more Pages are loading I count the pixels appear just one two three four That's, the, speed, on dial-up I'm, going, mad, on dial-up I'm in hell, it feels like I'm with AOL F this slow dialup, I just cannot take any more F this slow dialup, I just cannot take any more [By :AussieFoot / 2011-01-05] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song Comments most awesome! .. now I'm going to have this stuck in my head all day... -DedSysOp

529. Subject: Read It Based on Beat It by Michael Jackson http://www.lyricsdepot.com/michael-jackson/beat-it.html I told him don't you understand it it's clear Don't wanna understand just screams for someone near It's vacant in their eyes, vacuum between their ears Please read it, just read it You better come, you better do what you can Don't wanna read a book, don't want a site to scan Don't wanna think it through even though we all can Please read it, just go RTFM Just read it, read it, read it, read it No risk your work will be deleted It's not in Chinese, it's not in code Just open the manual and follow your nose Just read it, read it Just read it, read it Just read it, read it Just read it, read it We'll start to bill you, better read while you can Don't wanna get a LART you better read that man You're no longer five, better act like a man So read it, just read it You have to show them there's no need to be scared Not playin' with your life, there ain't no need to fear It'll help you, it'll teach you Then it all becomes clear Please read it, just go RTFM Just read it, read it, read it, read it No risk your work will be deleted It's not in Chinese, it's not in code Just open the manual and follow your nose Just read it, read it, read it, read it No risk your work will be deleted It's not in Chinese, it's not in code Just open the manual and follow your nose Just read it, read it, read it, read it No risk your work will be deleted It's not in Chinese, it's not in code Just open the manual and follow your nose Just read it, read it Read it, read it, read it (repeats chorus a few times) [By :AussieFoot / 2010-11-03] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song Comments *applause* -Grue Nice one! -MadJack BRAVO!!!!!! But damn that's going to be in head all day.... -redevil34 (waves BIC lighter) Wahoo! -ecoli nice filk on a dead chomo. -HappyCrappy

528. Subject: Payday Wow! nearly 5 years since I've posted one of these, where does the time go?! this song started out thinking it was Warrent - Heaven Got a ticket 'bout your mouse And it's tangled on the floor Its bus connectors frayed And the cats been at the cord.. From the factory never worked Yet you never sent it back The packaging is great but ma'am, they'll never take it back I don't want to be out here on this call This client isn't evil, she's a little slow Payday in just one more day Vodka tonic keeps me sane I'm homicidal everyday Now your keyboard smells of food And your stench it burns my eyes A rotten sandwich made of ham oh I would love for you to die Well I work late into the night And you still call and neep Wanna wrap my noose around you So you can't ever breed I don't want to have to hold your hand As long as you are paying, I suppose I can Payday in just one more day Vodka tonic keeps me sane I'm homicidal everyday I'll make you pay, yeah And most nights I'm going out 'Course I'm drinkin' hard The stupid fish keep calling back And it makes me pretty sad There is nothing that you know And I no longer care You don't know what to do Everyone has given up on you Payday in just one more day Vodka tonic keeps me sane I'm homicidal everyday I think I'm gonna kill today Payday Oh, oh, oh, oh Vodka Oh, oh, oh, oh Payday It's not too far away, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah Don't know if this is a return for me or just a one off... Stroke my ego/crush my self esteem peoples --- comments link :P [By :DedSysOp / 2010-09-09] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song Comments Warrant even... -DedSysOp ::Lights lighter and waves it back and forth:: -Grayhawk "I don't want to have to hold your hand / As long as you are paying, I suppose I can" -- love it! -Mer dreamy clapping. beautiful, just gorgeous -AdmiralLaurie Ok, I have to admit that this is the first tech song in a long time that I recognized the song it was meant to sound like. I am a child of the 80's, Warrant ROCKS! WOOO!!! -JoeLugian DUDE that fucking rocks!!!!!! -THETECHFROMHELL Ugh, you know I hate that song. <3<3<3 (Hey everybody...!) :P But I like your lyrics. COME HOME. -TranceGemini *Cues up his Android Lighter app* -unrenowned

527. Subject: Tech Support To the tune of the Pokemon theme by Billy Crawford In gratitude to my anonymous star benefactor because I am a ditz and my big butt didn't register until this afternoon. (... but mainly because I got bored after processing a set of Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Adventures manga) Our network is the very nest Our budget will allow To train them is my real test To LART them is my cause (oooh) They want their bloatware Weatherbug They want their purple ape Uploading pictures, downloading apps-- Commiting bandwidth rape! (Bandwidth rape!) CHORUS Tech support! It's you and me. I know their stupidity! Tech support! Otis you're my best friend This network we must defend Tech support! A TINK so loud We'll chase out the spyware crowd We'll clean up the network cloud Tech support! (Gotta LART em) Gotta LART em Gotta LART em all! All the spyware along the way With Otis I will face I will battle every day To free up hard drive space! LART with me, they have no fear! There's no better time For effective discipline When they neep and whine! CHORUS (x2) (I'll LART you!) (Gotta LART em Gotta LART em Gotta LART em all!) Tech support! [By :Dante668 / 2010-08-10] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song Comments I.... I'm ashamed to admit, I knew the tune.... On that note, the words fit really well! -ApolloSZ Classic. and yeah I know the tune too. -Phylok I've got no idea what the tune is but I just substituted a generic mash of Japanese kids show themes and that seemed to work. Well done. -AussieFoot I got a good chuckle reading this- fits the tune perfectly! -Mach327 BRAVO! Encore! -KrazerKap

526. Subject: No Fish Today Based on No Milk Today by Hermans Hermits http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/h/hermitshermans10586/nomilktoday340806.html No fish today, my pain has gone away The handset stands forlorn, the neeping noise is gone No fish today, it's not a common plight Enjoy it while you can, don't ask the reason why How could I know just what this really means The end of all the dopes, the end of all the neeps How could they know the pressure there had been Behind the door where my mind ran and screamed No fish today, it isn't always so The company was lame, they'd turn bright into "Doh!" But for today is a place bright and homey A sunny sky through a window near my desk Becomes a sigh when I think that it's only Just too good to last No fish today, it isn't always so The company was lame, they'd turn bright into "Doh!" Hold music played so faster did we dance We felt our anger swell, the start of our call hell How could I know just what this really means The end of all the dopes, the end of all the neeps How could they know the pressure there had been Behind the door where my mind ran and screamed No fish today, my pain has gone away The handset stands forlorn, the neeping noise is gone But for today is a place bright and homey A sunny sky through a window near my desk Becomes a sigh when I think that it's only Just too good to last No fish today, my pain has gone away The handset stands forlorn, the neeping noise is gone No fish today, it's not a common plight Enjoy it while you can, don't ask the reason why How could I know just what this really means The end of all the dopes, the end of all the neeps How could they know the pressure there had been Behind the door where my mind ran and screamed No fish today, it isn't always so The company was lame, they'd turn bright into "Doh!" But for today is a place bright and homey A sunny sky through a window near my desk Oh for today is a place bright and homey A sunny sky through a window near my desk Oh for today is a place bright and homey A sunny sky through a window near my desk [By :AussieFoot / 2010-08-10] [Top] Comment on this Tech Song Comments I claim partial responsibility for this song!! I demand royalties -PoglaTheGrate Has anyone thought of making a TSC album? I am sure at least one of can sing....If it isn't marketable at least it would be good times for us. -0gr3 it's certainly crossed my mind.... -AdmiralLaurie

Show me more Tech Songs in groups of:

10

50

100