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Here is all the content that has contributed
to Tech Support Comedy. Tech Stories
1.
Y2K problem with cable
ME: thank you, for calling blah blah blah. EU: I have a Y2K problem with my monitor wire. ME: What kind of problem sir. EU: Well I had my computer downstairs and it worked fine. I then moved it upstairs, and now the wire for the monitor is too short. ME:Try moving the monitor closer to the tower. EU No, you don't understand, it is the exact same distance, it is a Y2K problem. ME: Sir, the monitor cable could not have shrunk by bringing the machine upstairs. EU: Well I know it did and I want you to send me a new monitor. ME: Sir I can't send a new monitor for this reason. This goes on for ten or fifteen minutes until he wants to speak to my supervisor. I transfer the EU and forget about him. an hour later the same guy is transferred to me from customer relations. He tells me new monitor was OK'd by CR and I am to send him one right away. I talk to CR and they tell me they told him that he would be sent a copy of the warranty that clearly states we will not send monitors out for the Y2K cable shrinkage problem. CR told the EU that it was the difference in air pressure that caused the cable to shrink, and I was to explain how and why this happens. But it is not covererd under warranty. I told him the air pressure was beyond our control and he could buy an air pressure meter from any computer store. if it reads between 0-1000 his cable could be subject to the Y2K cable shrinkage issue. EU was happy with that explanation. 2001-05-27 By:
[By: ]
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2.
What Start?
I had a client who pushed the power button in every time I asked him to click start. me:why is the machine rebooting? him: I pushed start and it always reboots. me: that's odd. do you have virus checking? etc etc etc. It took me 10 minutes to figure out he was pushing the power button in. He explained that is the button that 'starts' his computer. Who am I to disagree. 2001-02-11 By:
[By: ]
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Comments
-fahed
That EU's logic brings me to tears. -rubyblood
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Customer Misconceptions
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1.
Pressing the Ctrl-Alt-Delete keys simultaneously requires two hands and the person "Needs to put down the phone" to complete the requested operation
[2001-02-04]
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2.
when the customer call on a cellular phone to help them with their DSL connection
[2000-09-19]
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3.
That "Unlimited Access" means they don't *ever* have to pay for *anything* online beyond their monthly fee. (This came from an MSN customer.)
[2000-08-18]
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4.
That when you call up Tech Support and ask for the IP of the DNS, they will give it to you without asking inane, pre-programmed questions like, "What does it say in your DNS settings?"
[2000-08-18]
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Tech Rules
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1.
Preface a right click by saying "everything is a left unless I say right click"
[2001-02-19]
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Customer Types
Co-Worker Types
Customer E-mails
EUPOTD (End User Phrase of the Day)
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