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Here is all the content that AdmiralLaurie has contributed
to Tech Support Comedy. Tech Stories
1.
thank you, dear!
Thank you, Gremlyn!
For my lovely shiny new ass! BTW, Gremlyn is the guy I married. :D
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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gratz. :D -Omega
"I love big butts and I cannot lie" - okay, it looks really good on you. Congratz! - ecoli
Wait, what? [reads AL's earlier posts] Well holy poop girl, Congrats to you and Gremlyn! (belatedly throws rice) -MeanDean
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2.
drumroll please.....
To the TSC members who haven't found out, I'm tying the knot two days after christmas. I flew out here to Utah to see my boyfriend and things are going incredibly well, so we decided to tie the knot Anyone in the area, Ogden, Salt Lake, etc, are welcome to come. Please whiteboard or otherwise contact me for details. Thanks!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Congratulations! -Grue
Good to hear you're having your nuptials done - congratulations! -Gromit
Congrats! -Diptera
Good luck and best wishes from far far away -Bloke
I would gladly come to the nuptials, but, alas, work intercedes. Congratulations on the new life. -srteach
Yay, congrats! And good luck! -Seamyst
Congratulations!! -My Cat Athena
Congrats! Just celebrated the 30th with Mrs. ecoli so IT CAN WORK!! -ecoli
Congratulations! -thx1138
Congratulations! -Fortytwo
Grats! -DarkRookie
Congratulations! You've shared many of the downs in your life with us, and so it's fantastic to know you've got great things happening too. -SalParadise
Congratulations! -VIPERsssss
Congrats! -MadJack
Congrats! -geeklady
Try the Reverse Cowgirl on your wedding day. -burrkiss
Can we Say Sucker. Congratz AL wish you both the best. -deedadee
Congratulations, dearheart! -Seamus
Maximum congratulations. -Omega
Congratulations, and post a picture or a link in the Break Room after the happy event!
-BayouTech
Congratulations!!! :) hope all goes well for you -CrystalMare
congratulations! -slowANDeasy
Well, better almost late than never, Hooray for both of you! -LDFeral
This is brilliant news! Wishing you both a long, happy life together. -32KofRAM
Congratulations and Best Wishes! Very happy for you!! -EMTGeekGirl
Woo Hoo - cogratulations AL! -lineswine
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3.
I am a complete and utter starfish
My geeky brothers and sisters, I stand before you, well, sit, but you get the picture, embarrassed beyond all imagining.
Last night, my connection temporarily dropped. Reboot, power cycle, nothing worked. wipe and reinstall drivers? Nope. Could see the network, could change settings wirelessly, but the outside world didn't exist.
Stayed up almost half the night fixing it, was the first thing I did when I got up. Kept hardware resetting the router, nothing worked. What was the original problem, you may ask?
I made the problem worse by plugging the ethernet cable into the lan port, not the wan port.
Yes, I am a dumbass.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Actually you are not a dumbass as you found and fixed a simple mistake. A real dumbass would have called in consultants, specialists and other techs to fix what is obviously "someone else's mistake." -atomicbill
I sat down in my work chair this morning and had a panic attack because I couldn't find my seat belt - that is a star fish moment. Yours was just a momentarily lapse that can be blamed on the lateness of the evening -frprinterwiz
Starfish by proxy - you've been so close to Starfish that on some occasions you will have a Starfish moments, the cure is to re-read all of CommanderData's posts... - -Wonko The Sane
I *cough* have done a <mumble> nuke and pave </mumble> over a similar problem. *cough* -charred
Whew, glad to see I'm not alone. Man, that was embarrassing. -AdmiralLaurie
Everyone makes errors sometimes (me especially, heh). We find, own up to, and fix the problem. Starfish neep, blame everyone else, and still refuse to fix it or pay someone else to fix it. If anything, you've shown your lack of fishyness. -ras
lol, I once nuked and paved my eee something like two or three times because my keyboard would output numbers instead of letters...dumb lock was stuck :S Glad you gotter figured out though! -0gr3
Did you call tech support and loudly proclaim that you were a tech and that you'd tried everything and needed to speak to the next level of techs? Then no, not a dumbass =) -desseb
Nope, never once called ts. picked the brains of two fellow geeks. and eventually sat down and retraced every single one of my steps. -AdmiralLaurie
Fret not, wench. You cannot be admitted to the hallowed halls of the true tech until you've committed at least one unbelievably dumb act. Mine involved a brand new laser printer, two hours of troubleshooting and a toner cartridge tear-off strip... -Gromit
Gee, Gromit, I managed to do something like that about six weeks ago. An "only prints one time per night" report was sacrificed because I only saw one of two pull-off strips on a different brand of re-manufactured toner cartridge. Pulled the "usual" one, but missed the other one. Don't worry, AL, the difference is that while we make the same mistakes, we manage to figure things out, get embarrassed, and move on from there! -Voz
we all have " DERP!" moments - its if you continually have the Same one on consecutive occations over the space of say - a couple Months (where inebration/ sleep deprivation/ intoxicant are not a factor) - thts when ya gota start worrying -Harm
It must be the week for it. My car had an intermittant problem where it wouldn't start. It happened again, I swore and ran off to the bus stop to get to work. Came home and found out the problem was the car was in reverse, not park -PoglaTheGrate
It's not what happens, it's what you do about it. You're NOT a 'fish, as you followed all corrects steps & fixed it WITHOUT pissing & moaning to some harassed phone jockey. -lineswine
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4.
Here we go Round the idiotbush...
Most of my friends, family and vague acquaintences know that some evenings are better than others for getting ahold of me. Friday nights, I can be generally in a better mood than, say, Wednesday after two or three nights of little sleep. Thus, begins the tale.
The phone trills, carrying with it the sense of urgency that only a family calling can provide. I managed to snatch it off the stand, but not before nearly flipping my bedside filing cabinet, which would've taken the laptop, speakers, coffee mug and other odds and ends.
My grandmother starts blathering the second I answer. Her high, heavily drawled voice reminds me of the tape players that chatter like a chipmunk when put into fast forward.
Her: it's broken! (repeat four or five times, so fast it's almost run together)
Me: What was the last thing you touched?
Her: I was trying to get a greeting card for your little sister.
Cue me banging my head on the padded arm of my chair.
Me: ok, what's on the screen right now. I can't see it from here, so you have to be my eyes.
Her: it's blue, and there's a bunch of writing.
me: have you restarted it?
Her: what's restart?
Me: (through slightly gritted teeth) It's where you turn it off, then on again. Kinda like when you turn the mixer off to scrape the edges.
Her: oh, ok, let me try that.
(after a five minute wait).
Her: what's system32?
me: Oh lord, um, what brand is...
Her, (completely shrieking over what I'm trying to tell her) Fine! You broke it you f*cking twit! I'm taking it to geeksquad!
Enjoy it being brought back in flaming unrecognisable blobs. Oh and say bye-bye to all the pics of me. I don't have copies. Interrupt, insult and and disobey me, and you'll be stuffed in a phone booth, the exterior and interior of which will be coated with copper foil, and plugged into a 240-volt outlet.
Enjoy the free defibrolation, bitch! Thank $deity for hang-up buttons and VOIP devices.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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She gave herself the "you've got an e-card from" virus, and YOU are the fucking twit? I think we need some redefinition here... -Captain Trips
Your grandmother called you a F*&%ing twit?? That's messed up... -JoeLugian
Jl, that's SOP for that side of the family. Good thing I'm now far, far away from that. the hangup button is a beautiful thing. -AdmiralLaurie
I love my mother to much to let her think I ruined her computer. I've sent her to Data Doctors from day one. -AngrySup
She's an utter retard, you KNOW that, right? -lineswine
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5.
train your animals a little better, plea
Subtitute provider brings in the netbook she just got from the pawn shop. She'd heard from the regular helper that I fix computers, and decided to give me a try. I tell her my rates, and she agrees. First thing's first, boot up. Why is there an echo on the sound?
Someone decided to put the special effects on. Take it off. What's this Antivirus 8? Refuses to go away. Install and run Malware Bytes, Pest Patrol, etc. Reboot.
No boot partition found.
O.o
Boot into safe mode, and reach for the keyboard. Why are the arrow keycaps missing?
"My dogs pawed at it, I guess they like the sound."
Me: "Why don't you train them to not paw at the computer?"
Her: "It's too much work and time I don't have."
Me (thinking) Then don't have animals?"
Finish up with the pc cleaned and booting again.
I'd hate to see her house if she doesn't train her dogs. *shudder*
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Agreed. If you can't take the time to teach your dogs how to behave at home you shouldn't have animals. I used to have a dog who'd sweep the coffee table clean with her tail when wagging, but just a few times of pressing her tail down while saying 'Wag down!' made her wag lower. Treat them as part of the family and they'll learn to be well behaved at home real quick. -Calydor
Cats looking at kitty porn, dogs checkin' out the bitches online? -Mushroom
I wonder if her pet cat will attack the computer's mouse -Park7
@Park7: Mine does... but only the laptop mouse. -chazz
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6.
nuh uh. never again!
Why must you call me at two in the morning? you complain because you have less than an hour to get your homework done because you were out fiddling around with your friends, instead of doing it like you know you should. It's not my problem that you upgraded to win 7, didn't bother telling me and now every time I use your computer I have trouble making sense of it because jaws reads everything wrong.
I do have the right to get really bitchy when you call at this time of night, get me up there and five minutes later tell me to forget about it. You are also forbidden from telling me not to get mad. I'm angry because I've been trying to sleep and you woke me up, again!
I'm not going to coddle you. You knew this was coming up, so why didn't you fix it sooner? Why didn't you call me when you should've instead going out partying and getting high?
I know you haven't moved, but you don't need my cable connection. I told you to get your own, and the fact that your tv hookup is illegal is not my problem.
Get it? Got it?
GOOD!
G.F.Y!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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c'mon, don't hold it back, tell us how you REALLY feel... <HI-yo Silver, to the LART-shelter AWAY! eg> -Dr Jerkyl
Lemme guess, son? -Enzedder
So the beeyaoooccchhhh got free tech support from you again because you were semi concious ? -Necros
she did until she told me to stop closing processes like her bit torrent, etc. I walked out at that point. All I want from her is the stuff she "borrowed" and she can then leave me alone. -AdmiralLaurie
You should have hung up on her and turned your phone off. It was TWO AM GIRL!!!! -burrkiss
I say enable call bar. So all she can hear when she calls you is Mr busy tone or Mr Dial tone. -kennz
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7.
my own sf moment
It's a rough morning to begin with. I'm up early, downing tea in an effort to caffeinate myself into existence before class. Well, my phone chirrups, indicating that my ride is five minutes out. I swing into action.
On with the shoes, grab my keys and bag. Hastily retrieve my 64-oz jug of tea, run back in, grab my shawl and...
Thud.
Oh shit. That was my lappy hitting the floor. No time now, let's see what damage when we get home.
Come home, can't tell what's on screen. Notice that the headphone cord jack is stuck and detached. Pop battery, pull cord and drain residual power, even though it's not necessary. One good pull with the choppers and it's out. Boot up the system and...
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
*hits knees in thanks*
The moral of the story?
No pulling your shawl from across the bed and...
make sure your lappy is on something stable before brushing it.
Thank you. I'm going to stand here and take my LARTing like good little student. :P
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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(Puts AL across knee...) Don't <THWAPP> tug your <THWAPP> shawl when your <THWAPP> laptop's on it! (I enjoyed that, folks) :) -Gromit
At least it was Gromit, and not Burrkiss. -Seamus
I do a different type of tuggin. -burrkiss
I'm glad your 'incident' worked out as well as my phone fiasco. Mine has full fuctionality now, btw. -ThinTheHerd
could be worse.. in the throws of "Passion" take note of were the laptop is... ie not on the floor or underfoot..or any other surface that may be used. -Harm
*stands up after Gromit* thank you! may I please have another? :D -AdmiralLaurie
Oooh, getting kinky in here! -Seamyst
Harm: So the only safe surface for a laptop is something sharp? -LazyLemming
Incoming Zerglings Larts coming right at you. -kennz
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8.
what part of no don't you understand?
So it's another sweltering day here in Texas. Even the animals are seeking shelter. I'm settling down to dinner when the pounding on the door starts. The neighbour's little girl is there.
"Mom wants you up there, now. No excuses, she said." The whiny voice intoned from the doorstep.
"What's the problem?" I ask, pulling on my shoes and grabbing my keys.
"She said it just doesn't work anymore."
Great, now it's crashed again, is my first thought.
getting up to the apt, I find that the notice centre has fainted, she has what I can only swear is spyware but spybot comes up perfectly clean as does every other tool I run and she's been running without an antivirus, which I install. I was up there for a total of four hours working on it. I expected at least a pot of coffee, as is the usual arrangement for if I stay lognger than an hour.
That was not to be. When i asked about how much she could pay for the rather lengthy cleanup I was doing, I received extremely vague answers. I eventually told her I'd "research" the other problems and bailed after the scans were done.
I don't want to walk away from a job, but I'm not getting paid, nor is she bartering anymore. She seems to think that I will work for free. Ok, working for a slice of cheesecake or dinner is great. That's what I usually do. But it just seems odd that suddenly after I pulled a dresser out of my @$$ and she wants a canopy bed, she's been extra distant and very cagy. She wants her daughter's netbook fixed but I can't do anything without the admin pw which neither parents nor child know. So, what am I to do? If they wanna shell out, they can either do so to me or do so to a shop that will charge a lot more than I do.
Sorry for the long rantish, but I needed to get that out. Whew!
thanks for the space!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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I wouldn't give excuses, I would just refuse until I was treated properly. -srteach
Yer not paying me, I don't work for free. Food is payment for X hours of work. -Olorin
And what did I tell you last ime, Ay Ell ? Request payment in advance. Even if you make up some story about how this other contract your just starting means you're working exclusively for "Place Made Up Company Name here" and they would have to charge said person $50 or more per hour with a two hour minimum ( Cash in advance of course ) before you'd be allowed to look at it. That'll get 'em to either cough up cash or leave you alone. < Evil Smile > . It's not a lie but perhaps a stretch of the truth as you are CEO of "Place Made Up Company Name here" just waiting to have enough money to file a business license. -Necros
I would say that's the last job you do for her. Period. Unless she can own up and start the perc/feed you right at the door. -Seamus
That's a slippery slope you're on, right there. It's admirable (Get it?!?) to try and help someone in need, but some people will abuse that good nature. -ThinTheHerd
I have learned from the vast years I have accumulated from dealing with people. It is this. Everytime your nice, you get bit in the ass (down burrkiss). You were nice, and took a cake for pmt, now they expect you to do work for food. Time to put your big girl panties on and stand up for your self. You stood up for yourself against your family, now just stand up for yourself............ and I like boobs. -burrkiss
I just feel wrong offering a different view without being a pervert. TITTIE TITTIE BANG BANG!!!! -burrkiss
It would be decidedly out of character for you if you didn't, B. :) The insight was awesome, though. -Seamus
Sorry, I would have closed the door when I read "No Excuses". Unless this neighbor is your landlady, she's overstepped by a mile. And if she IS your landlady, it should come off your rent. Tell her your time is worth $75 an hour, two hour minimum. -Divinar
What's almost as bad as AL not getting paid for this is that the entitled sucktomer is teaching her daughter to treat people just as bad as she does. :( -BayouTech
I have a fellow tech who likes to volunteer himself to work for free so that he looks like a nice guy. He then takes on more than he can handle, and expects me to bail him out-- also for free. Do not give in, nothing food can come from that. -linkv
Time to sing her a family friendly ditty: Clap in four-four time and..."Con--cen--tray--tion, lis-ten now....Suck my dick, suck my motherfucking dick....Suck my dick, suck my motherfucking dick....Suck my dick, suck my motherfucking dick....Suck my dick, suck my motherfucking dick...." -vacuumtubes
I could be wrong, but I don't think AL has a dick to be sucked... (DOWN, Burr
kiss!) -Chromatix
@Chromatix: http://bit.ly/cCs4mX - NSFW! Of course, don't stick it in your pocket or you may just http://bit.ly/7br6 (also NSFW). H.A.N.D. -unrenowned
My .02: Stop doing any work for this person unless paid cash in advance. Too often people expect free computer support and once you work cheap/for food they expect it all the time. I also like boobies. -Starfury
The real issue is that they have begun to assume you will do the work for free. 'Entitlement'. Getting them back into the framework of reality is difficult. View them as parasites, if that helps you re-establish a proper mindset. -TieDyedDinosaur
I'm amazed this woman made it any farther than "Now, no excuses". That always translates in my language to "After dinner and tonight's episode of house, if you're feeling particularly bored or generous." -LazyLemming
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9.
Fun with Data Recovery
Dear Luser,
I know you have backups. your husband has told me as much. That being said, pictures aren't the only things you should back up, especially when it's music you want me to recover. You're asking me to do almost the impossible, especially when you will not remove the drive in question and let me slave it to my computer to run the software.
You claim I'll get paid when I recover the data. I've told you it's not foolproof, and yet you still insist. I've told you that I shouldn't install anything, nor should you, if you want that chance of recovering your old stuff. Why can you simply not accept, like everyone else does, that you may have to redownload some of your music, and move on with life?
Furthermore, I am not responsible for your drive wiping itself. I explained that to you three separate times.
You should also understand that I don't work well if I'm not properly caffeinated. Have some coffee waiting for me, or at least give me time to have some without pounding on my door complaining about it!
Please accept this facial reconstruction, courtesy of Otis, Jerry and Mr. Painless, the ethernet cord I'm about to string you up by.
No Love,
Me
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Nicely put. How does it feel to be part of the constellation? :) -Seamus
I'd get the money first. Cash only. No checks. -Bioguy
Very well said -THETECHFROMHELL
Get yourself a USB-to-IDE/SATA interface with a power adapter (about $35) and this will let you mount a drive in a desktop PC to your PC without removing it (most of the time). That said, drop this customer ASAP- they are looking to get out of paying you if it doesn't work. -BayouTech
What I would do in this case is attempt recovery anyways. Charge a small diagnostic fee up front when the PC come in, and if you do get something off the dead drive, apply the diagnostic fee as credit towards the final bill. -cecil36
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10.
to the doner of my star...
Thank you! I didn't see the email or the notice on the front page until just now, but thank you again! And now my butt's even bigger!
now, I've got a few rules to post.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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You got his by the mysterious ass fatter as well. I want to know how the person is. Thanks again. -DarkRookie
Welcome to the land of stars! -KrazerKap
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11.
vista... a nightmare in the flesh!
Setting up a workgroup is fun. Setting it up between vista and xp, is a recipe for heavy drinking later, when alone. Took over 45 minutes and that's not stumbling stupidly around. F*cking thing wanted "network discovery" turned on and all this bs. Why? I don't mean to whine, I got it working in the end, but gaaaaaaah! it was easy as pie with xp. Why did they make vista so unintuitive? Morons!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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http://xkcd.com/323/ - Vista was the second time they gave a team of programmers a years supply of alcohol... -Wonko The Sane
Win7 and the Homegroup is not vastly better either, sadly. -desseb
I've had no issues with Vista or Win7... Seems to be easier than in XP -Caboose447
My limited experience is even after getting a mixed bag network (Xp-Vista-Seven) working, all to frequently something will bork things up. No rhyme or reason, just 'I think I'll mess with him today.' Sometimes a fix will take in an hour, sometimes you might as well nuke and pave. XP-XP? Set it up and forget it (mostly). -jerrybear
7 > Vista > XP - XP you had to know voodoo sometimes, install NetBEUI, whatever... I have never had any issues with XP to Vista, XP to 7, or Vista to 7... and 7's homegroup is AWESOME. I make a homegroup, my xbox and ps3 both automagically see it, and my XP box sees it too. XP was not easier, or better ;) -PsiKoTicK
I might just be entirely new to linux, but I cannot get it to interface with anything after XP -LDFeral
I think M$ decided they really needed an OS that *looked* like Mac OSX, unfortunately, Vista was what they came up with. It's history repeating itself, but Vista was more dramatically unsuccessful... -AlanSmithee
The only thing my 7 box can't seem to access is my old Snap server. -Stryker One
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12.
sheeple are amazing...
Funny: assistant principal drilling the seniors a new a$$hole. Even funnier, you start applauding at the end due to agreeing/instantly worshipping this particular AP. The absolute best part? hearing the ones being reamed applaud and cheer with you!
I have recording if anyone wants the proof this happened. I'm still laughing!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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That HAS to be posted on the calls section! -0gr3
http://tinyurl.com/295sg22 -DarkRookie
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13.
nt/ot welcome!
To Andrew Logan Hodges, Born 1 December, 2009 at 8:45 weighing 9 pounds even and 22 inches long. He's in the NICU for a few days to keep an eye on him. Mummy's doing ok, just a little weary from both the attempted natural birth and the surgery that followed. I'm very exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster, as I love them both as family and wanted to, but couldn't be present. oh well. I laughed, cried and threw soft things. I hope, Andrew, that your years here will be merry and successful. Here's to you, cheers to you, beers to you, and shots to you!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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...And his first memories will be of a family that loves him. There is no better way to enter this world. Best of luck to him, and congratulations to your family. :-) -linkv
Good luck indeed, and congrats to the family! -Grue
Congrats! -FormerSithLord
Congrats! -KrazerKap
Congrats! Can't ask for more than a healthy mother and child. (Well, $10,000,000 is small, unmarked bills would be nice) -TechOgre
TechOgre - Yeah, $10M would be nice, but I wouldn't trade my boys for the money and some of my friends kids (and their problems!) -Divinar
Congrats! *Tosses soft, baby friendly things in the air in rejoice* -AdeptusMechanis
'grats! -rosemetal
Baby! Huzzah and best of luck to all involved! -AnneBWalsh
So... niece? nephew? godchild? - 13 nieces/nephews, 19 grand-nieces/nephews, lots of friends with kids, yet there have still been women (without kids) convinced I'm gay because a middle-aged bachelor knows more about children than they do. -AussieFoot
Baby's diary Day 2: Still tired from the move. </stevenwright> -Biosynthetic
Yay! another Saggetarian to rule the world. All my plans are comming together -PoglaTheGrate
Awesome! Babies rule! -ThinTheHerd
Congats!!!! -THETECHFROMHELL
ThinTheHerd: Don't you mean "Babies Drool"? Congrats AL. -Grembo
Gratz! -Dr Jerkyl
WOOWOO!! Gratz!! My sis has had morning sickness for a week so here's hoping her last happy shot worked! -judoprincess
Gratz to the happy family! -MadJack
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14.
"we are truly thankful..."
What are TSCers thankful for this year? If you don't want to answer, don't worry. I don't mind rants, raves, etc. I'm thankful that I have a place to live, friends and distant family that love me, that there are people in this world that aren't @$$holes, and that I'm still alive. I'm also thankful for what blessings this land has. Though it has its problems, it still can offer hope to someone down on their luck.I'm also thankful to our troops. To those far away from home, $deity bless you. We miss you. I'll shut up now.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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I'm thankful for Sweetie, the love of my life. I'm thankful for my health. I'm thankful that I'm working my ass off almost every day (beats no work, no money!) And I'm thankful for all of you guys. Well, most of you, anyway. Aww, hell, I'm even thankful for Burrkiss! (curls up and starts singing Kumbiyah) -ralphp1024
Thankful that I am still working, thankful that this site is here to humor me daily, and very thankful to my mystery big butt benefactor. Although I have to work on Thanksgiving I am grateful to have the job. Hope that all of you here on TSC have a great Thanksgiving day!! -THETECHFROMHELL
Thank full for my wonderfull GF, the house we just purchased,My Family ( helping us to get the house) being employed and hopefully continuing to be employed, Not having to deal with that Fraaked up apartment and moronic mangment .. And that our NOrthern thanksgiving was done about 6 weeks ago. -Harm
I'm thankful for being here. On this site, on the planet, in this time, you name it :) -elcapitane
I am truly thankful for my family; Mrs. Shan, Jr. Shan, and Baby-Shan. Also, for whomever gave me my star some weeks ago (was it YOU, AL?) and for not only TSC, for for my brothers and sisters in tech who make TSC so delightful! -udoshan
I'm thankful that, even though I haven't been able to find a job for the past 9 months (in Mexico a 49 year old is too old for that, it seems), I am alive, healthy and have a wonderful family that has backed me up. I'm also thankful for all the high spirits that I've found here every day. $Deity blesses them and all of the TSC'ers. -buitre
Thanks this year have to go first of all to the TSC community without whom I would surely be even more insane than I am now (Or maybe less, I suppose it's debatable). Family and friends for their support. My g/f for understanding that I am aways gonna be cynical and bitter towards humanity. Our monetary system for being less screwed up than the American's ;) And for Freeware, Opensourcing, and the fair use doctrine (even though I am Canadian). -AdeptusMechanis
I have so much to be thankful for I would end up posting the dreaded wall of text ;). -K9Insanity
I'm thankful for my better half who holds things down at home while I commute because my job moved to another city. Thankful to still have the job, and health good enough that the lower quality of our health coverage hasn't been a big problem for me. -concept14
I'm thankful for life, family, friends, and money. -compbrat
I'm thankful to have a job that allows me to support myself and my kids, my home, that my kids are healthy and turning into wonderful adults (even if the boy is grounded for life right now), I'm thankful the girl has found a wonderful sweetie that I approve of, and I am using all karma for her and her unit, because they are going to Afghanistan in 2010 -PerkyCecilia
Thankful for a man I'm crazy about (and who is crazy about me), thankful for the health I have, for the job I have, for the reminders that my life hasn't gone as fucked up as I'd initially feared. Also thankful for the people around me (TSC included) who reminded me I wasn't as broken as I'd thought. -teivrann
I'm thankfull I won't become unemployed when my current project shuts down. Also, for the high-quality, free Danish healthcare - all the tests I've been through plus my medication is gratis. And let's not forget friends... -NordicPT
I'm thankful for my job (been there a month, still love it), my family, being single and responsible to and for only myself, my friends, and this site (many's the time I've been despondent and a few stories here have cheered me up). -PCRaevyn
A family that cares about each other, old friends that think of you, having a job that meets the necessities and maybe a little more, health that's tolerable for the most part, and that Thanksgiving means the beginning of another holiday season, when the worst of mankind's problems always seem a little less and people find it easier to think outside themselves, when the better side of man shines through. -MadJack
oh, and definitely TSC! -MadJack
family and TSC (one in the same) -srteach
Family, friends, breaking my writing block, better-paying job (even if it is a little annoying at times), and the leftovers in foil in the fridge. -AnneBWalsh
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15.
Just couldn't pass this up....
This was found on a board connected to a site for the blind. I love how this was written. Whomever wrote this is a genius. http://www.zonebbs.com/boards.php?t=21240 . Enjoy!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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BWAHAAHAAHAA!!! That was awesome! -PTSTech
Haha, awesome -Penguin
And he probably failed the QA because he didn't give the proper closing to the call. -PolarCoyote
'Shot it with a .45' brings a whole new meaning to percussive maitenance. On the positive side, it is one less moron with a computer, on the negative it is one more with a gun -PoglaTheGrate
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17.
Broken fence, Rampant moron on the loose
So this morning finds me at the other property managed by my friend. We're sitting there, drinking coffee, when I ask her about the computer she's working on. I quiz her, kindly, about the backup strategy they have, and her answer is: "All the information from the other computers is on this one." Me: "What if that one goes down?" Her: "We'll call you, I guess." me: "That will be very expensive." Her: "Well, my daughter has a virus on her computer, and she won't let me fix it, because she refuses to back up her data and it's got like a page of viruses and AVG says it can't do anything." me: "I could look at it, but again, it won't be cheap." Her: "if she doesn't have one it's her fault, I'm not buying her another one." me: "what about yours? If she's using yours, she's going do the same thing to yours that she's doing to hers." Her: "I can just reboot and it'll be fine." Me: (tactfully) "Um, a reboot might not work like that on your machine." Her: "Where you go back to the factory stuff?" Me: "A recovery?" Her: "Yeh, that!"
I'll charge tripple to fix her daughter's computer. If little miss princess is so hellfire and brimstone about her data, she's getting charged a noseload to have it fixed, saved and put back the way she had it. I don't work for free, y'know....
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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I recommend returnil - http://www.returnilvirtualsystem.com/products - for her daughter's system (after a nuke and pave) to keep it protected. -Divinar
Div, thank you. I'm going to test its accessibility tonight and see what she wants me to do about it tomorrow, if she's in. -AdmiralLaurie
Me-thinks you haven't been told a tenth of the story. If she'll admit to that much, I GUARANTEE you there's a Nimitz full of other stuff running amok in there. -jerrybear
Div, what's the diff between Returnil and Microsoft Steady State or Faronics Deep Freeze? -Jeckler
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18.
Like that's going to squeeze you out of
Cable guy was coming in, setting up my cable. The "port" I was supposed to use was crappy. He unscrews a line marked "disconnect" and upstairs bastard comes pelting down the stairs like somebody's set his place alight. Cable gentleman, Tim by name, asks what's wrong, and the guy asks what the hell he thinks he's doing. Tim tells him that he disconnected a line marked as such, and the guy bitches that it's been there since he moved in, and when asked if he's a paying customer, apparently the guy turned the colour of bleached cloth and disappeared back into his apartment.
I only hope I don't have trouble out of him later.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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You had a bad tap port (main line split to a house/apt) He took the fast/easy way and used anohter port until maintanince could fix it. -burrkiss
The fast/easy way to stop theft of cable services, it seems. -lineswine
Always worth a repost for those who may not have seen it: http://www.geocities.com/flutocracy/cablemodem.htm -rdwells
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19.
I can't resist! nqt
My radio station is playing "five o'clock somewhere. It's eleven a.m central time, hence, ok, folks across the pond, you know what's coming..... Literally, its five o'clock over there. Sorry, I just had to laugh.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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OUCH! Stop that AL! You made me think! -Necros
Oh crap! You divided by zero, didn't you? Now I gotta get the broom and sulphuric acid out again. -Biosynthetic
You divided by Zero. Factory Default reset of the Universe will commense in 10... -Seamus
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20.
Home sweet home. nt/ot
Posting from my new apartment, and what did i see when I came up here to move some of my stuff? A stray black kitten, only four months old, but was once someone's pet. They clearly didn't feed her, and she came up to me, and when I sat down she came into my lap. She's my kitteh now! At least I'll have some company tonight.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Be careful! It could be a werekitteh, waiting to eat your brains! Could just be it was starved almost to death (or past it, take your pick) due to the lack of brains of the previous tenants. -ralphp1024
As a true ailurophile I want to thank you for giving a kitten a good home. Cats rule, Dogs drool. -atomicbill
Bill, I have no problem giving a kitteh a good home. She slept with me all night. -AdmiralLaurie
Good on you! Oddly, on Friday my fiancee came home to find a kitten on our doorstep; We already have 2 cats and no space for another, so we frantically spent the rest of the day looking for his human and, failing that, a good home. He's now living with a friend and will be well-cared for. Everyone's got kittens comin' our their ears apparently! -Lusus
Perfect! can't be scared when you haz a fuzzy little roomate :) Win Win for everyone :) -Harm
Aaahhh, you found one of my Karma Kitties I had sent out, guess it got lost. Good luck, hope it brings you loads of good karma. -PCRaevyn
Adopted.. Kitteh chooses you. puuurrrr -Harm
approves -My Cat Athena
It can haz cheezburger? -mechajock
Ahh, another person with "Sucker" written on their forehead, which only kittehz can see...& take full advantage of.
Our seven (Yes SEVEN) felines approve.
They say "U haz a flavour"...& it is tuna! -lineswine
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21.
headdesk
sung to the tune of "stupid" by Sarah Mclachlan.
Day, lift up the phone,
let in the flood of morons that come
headdesk begins,
for you are dumb,
and seeking for answers.
porn, that thing you adore,
has filled up your system with files that you will deny
it's all it can do to boot,
and to keep you from yelling,
at my supervisor
corus:
How stupid could you be?
a nuke and pave you need,
that you don't need that porn,
but porn's the only thing you want.
files have run for the hills,
the viruses clamber for your money
unable to surf,
except to your porn,
you wait for my answer.
You won't come around on my time,
speaking of fantastical fixes,
create me a migraine,
that abaits as soon as you're gone,
and leaves you there surfing,
on the highway without brains.
corus
techie can fix this,
techie techie won't report me,
can't bear to see my files draining away,
deep in my brainstem I know
corus
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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22.
way way too long for an EUPOTD
A woman walks up to me while we're out eating dinner and says, "Do you have AIDS?" Of course I look slightly astonished and ask her, "What makes you think that?" The following conversation will suck your IQ out through your ears, so be forewarned. Her. "You have the sign of herpes. this indicates that you have AIDS." Me, sign of..... wha? Her (pointing to my medical alert tag) The sign of herpes! The serpent and staff Me. The sign of Hermes, the god of thieves and the god of rest and healing? Her. Yes, herpes! me. Hermes. I'm not entirely sure where or how you got "herpes" from "Hermes" other than they sound slightly similar. Her. Herpes! you have Herpes! That sign means "Stay away!" me. No, this symbol alerts someone that I have a medical condition. these tags are somewhat common. It's mostly for a doctor or paramedic. Her. No, it means that you're deathly ill and to stay away! Besides, the myths aren't real, they're blasphemus against Jesus, our one true lordand savior. Me. Be that as it may, madam, I doubt Jesus said anything for or against something that I'm not sure existed in his time and place. Her. He said so! My minister says that anyone with a snake and staff needs to be stayed away from! Me. Then, if this is the case, why did you touch me? Her. To heal you with the power of my god! Me. Right.... Her. I've been sent here to seek out those marked ones and bring them into the light! My friend at this point walks up and says calmly "She's answered your question and corrected your misconception. Leave her to her dinner." The poor woman walks away confused.
And that's fine with me.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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That's absurd and troubling...but sadly, not shocking. I wish that type of thing was more unusual. Still, the lady was almost certainly mentally disturbed; either that or she was very stupid as well as very religious. There's nothing wrong with being religious but there's definitely something wrong with stupidity. -OgdenTechGuy
Aren't people like that supposed to be stoned to death or sumething like that? -atomicbill
I tried getting stoned to death... Ran out of pot -Spyder19
I think you're a far nicer person that I would have been in the situation, after the first herpes comment I would have likely told her to F' Off, then if she continued I'd have probably told the restaurant staff she can leave or we can leave and she can be given our bill, her choice and theirs. -spectreoflife
On behalf of all sane-minded Baptized Believers, I'm sorry that you had to listen to this Bible-thumping ignoramus. As a believer myself, I've learn not to let my beliefs cloud my judgment on matters of science. Seems like this dolt had not judgment to cloud. -udoshan
So, what she's saying boils down to: "In the name of Jee-AY-zus, we must STAY AWAY from those who are ill!" But, didn't Jesus sit down and eat with the lepers? -Captain Trips
Once. long ago, I was a student minister. (I got better.) I seem to remember this thing about Moses lifting up a serpent on a staff.... Never mind, I don't think she'd get the irony. -32KofRAM
Looks like you bumped into Margaret "God Warrior" Perrin (google this fuckwit if you've not come across her, she's a total jesus-freak nutjob)...& you are Dark sided! -lineswine
Sounded eerily similar to the convo I had with my sister. She's a die-hard Republican and I voted for Obama, so she promptly attacked me as wrong. She kept on and on about how he's a socialist, when even McCain himself stated (and it's on YouTube) that Obama isn't one, and when my friend intervened on my behalf, my sister insisted I defend her against me friend, even though my sister was the one who chidishly started it, and wouldn't let it go. My sister's always been of the opinion that the only opinion that matters is her's and if someone else has a different one, watch out. Many an ex-boyfriend of her's found that out. -elcapitane
Good fuckin' grief. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Over? -MadJack
I have no problem with Jesus or god, it's his damn fan club that I can't stand.... Sorry you had to deal with an ignorant idiot like that.. -JoeLugian
32K - That's the first thing that popped into my head. Numbers 21:8 The LORD said to Moses, "Make a snake and put it up on a pole; anyone who is bitten can look at it and live." -PsychoKittyB
"This isn't right... it's not even wrong!" or something to that effect. Nothing pisses me off more than people who are shown that they have all their facts wrong and still insist they have a point! As someone who studies mythology AND is a practicing Christian, there's at least two things in that story that piss me off (aside from the obvious "don't bug total strangers"). BTW, check out my story called "Worst Call Ever" for the time a customer wanted to talk to me about HIV *bfeg* -linkv
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24.
nuh-unh!
My coffee maker suddenly stopped working this morning. No sign of trouble, nothing. Turn it off, thinking it's done. Note there's maybe one cup of coffee in the carif. O.o pour cup. check reservoir.... Almost all of it's left? Huh? Turn on after five mins, plate heats up but nothing happens. Turn off. turn on just now, several hours later and the plate won't even heat up. This thing is maybe two months old.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Wow - what kind of coffee were you making to dissolve the interior so fast? -Divinar
Try http://www.guayaki.com/ It has lots of caffine but no jitters or upset stomach. I've been using it for over a year now and will never go back to coffee. -atomicbill
Thermostat failure. They do go bad... it is annoying when they go bad after only a couple months, but it does happen. -chazz
Heating element failure. Happens on the cheap units more often than the good ones - but it happens on all of them. -ralphp1024
Wait... how'd you check the reservoir? -Caboose447
'divinar: nothing special. Atomic Bill, I'll look into that, Caboose, I left the maker to cool for 45 minutes before touching it. And I stuck my hand into where you pour the water, and it was almost as full as it was when I poured the stuff in before. -AdmiralLaurie
I drink mate sometimes... but I prefer terere-it's the mate leaves but with cold juice instead of hot water... much yummier :D (ahh, now I'm homesick...) -cyberblade3001
Am I the only one here that doesn't drink coffee or tea or alcohol? -Stryker One
Hey striker, there is nothing left... -Griffin2020
Hey, Stryker, don't you know that water is bad for you? Fish piss, sh1t and have sex in it. Things die in it. It dissolves metal, erodes mountains and causes electrical things to go boom! Nope, sticking to alcohol. -ecoli
Look into cold brewing instead. No failures, better coffee, less complicated to prepare. -ChasingPuck
Stryker: nope, I don't drink coffee or tea either (too bitter for me) and alcohol is a rarity (and usually wine coolers or just plain white wine) -harrellj
And the name on the coffeemaker I bet is...Durabrand, the chinese word for Prez'd-Shit. -vacuumtubes
vt.... ding! ding! ding! quite correct. -AdmiralLaurie
"Everything always works right up to the point that it doesn't." -AmazingKreskin
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26.
armchair psychology with mr. tornado
This conversation left my friend chewing nails, and myself, John and his housemate dying on the floor laughing. I'm working on something when I hear Mt dialing his cell phone. I then hear him start yammering, but I'm not paying attention. Until I hear my name.
Him: "you need to come pick her up. She needs a psychiatrist. Only nutty people work on puzzles, and she mentioned to John that she has one! a 500 piece one! If she has a puzzle with that many pieces, what makes you think she can take care of anything else? Come pick her up! She's just fallen over and had a seizure! Come now!" John and I by this point are walking out of the room, and I'm alternately chewing my lip and snorting with laughter. Thirty minutes later we hear my friend pounding on the door. John lets her in, and She comes over, does a quick check of me, asks John some questions, while MT is desperately trying to interrupt the two of them. My friend, having had enough, turns right around, looks at him and says: "You called me out because she was laughing? Are you that fscking stupid? You know what to do if she really does have something go wrong, so calling me out for a giggling fit is out of bounds. You're lucky you didn't pull that bullsh!t with EMS." John walked out onto the porch with us and said, "I'm getting rid of him. I can survive without him, and even if he is good at electronics, he lacks in everything else. now, how to do it without getting him irritated. He can get quite violent."
Me, John and my friend: 3. MT: -3.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Hey -- I have a 3000 piece puzzle! I guess that makes me six times nuttier than you? Oh -- why am I not doing it? Playful kitties... one of them also likes eating paper. Puzzle pieces with tooth marks don't go together so well... -chazz
I don't think it is you that is 'missing a piece or two of their puzzle'! -TieDyedDinosaur
But it's shiny! -AngrySup
Nutty people work on puzzles, sane people solve them. Knurd people create puzzles that drive sane people nutty. -AussieFoot
O.O Oh, that's....*bink* Brain Reboot -Dragones
ITs better than the 3000 piece LEGO projects. Whose major purpose it seems is to lose pieces which will then be found by bare feet. -technaround
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27.
this goes beyond rediculous
Explain to me how my laptop's fan can go out, one of the bearing (sp?) is shot, so the fan needs to b replaced. Fine. Wake up this morning and the laptop I'm using, which isn't mine! is doing the same bloody thing! Note that it's only being used beon the desk or the bed, and in the case of both I make sure that both surfaces are cleaned. Huh? FWIW, they're different companies, Acer and Compaq, one is a netbook and one is a standard lappy.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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"or the bed" implies that it's a fabric surface. If the fabric (or in the case of desk, a piece of paper) gets up against the fan intake at ALL, it will reduce the airflow. How much reduction depends on the amount of blockage, of course. A airflow-starved fan runs FASTER, heating the fan bearings MORE, and there's reduced cooling airflow.
This is generally the cause of fan bearing death that isn't related to the time the fan's been in service....
-Grue
Whereas Grue's scenario is the most likely cause, I am reminded of a line from the movie Armegeddon: "Russian space station, American space station, all parts made in Taiwan!" -ralphp1024
The common element would be the cat that likes to lay on the keyboard! -TieDyedDinosaur
If you run a laptop on a heat insulator, the fan has to work a lot harder, and collects more dust. If you use it on carpet or bedding, get a laptop cooler, and it will last much longer.
-SaladOfDoom
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28.
the backstory part1
Mr. Tornado, from here on out referred to as mt, is a pathological liar. Those of us who know him well enough to know this also know that he can be an extremely violent man.The only way he is allowed to work with me is with close supervision and John staying in the room. If John leaves the room, I disappear too. Anyway, mt has decided that he was in the military, with a top-level security clearance, and a "civilian under orders." I checked on this possibility when he mentioned it to me, and as far as I've found out, there is no such post, at least in the American military. Strike 1. He also claims he can get into and out of someone's computer without them noticing. I tested this theory by leaving my laptop with him for three days. Nothing major, all was untouched. Ok, not terribly perfect, but anyway. It then came to pass about a month ago that he has been doing inappropriate things with some of his "students". He says he's certified in orientation and mobility, (blind travel adaptations). He's not. His name is not recognised by any agency or organisation. I got a phone call from him a few days ago, in the middle of dinner. Granted he couldn't've known this, but a seething dislike for him has been festering in our family for months, but I still help out because I feel compelled to do so.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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This person is still employed with your company why exactly? -halfstarfish
You know, you could have shortened "Mr. Tornado" to "Mr. T.", but the real Mr. T. would come and kick your butt if you did. :D -TheGhost
"Ah pity the foo..." </HadToBeSaid> -lineswine
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29.
the backstory part2
SO I'm juggling Keith's IPhone and trying to eat at the same time. The content of the conversation was: me: "what?" him: "I've been kicked out of dars." (department of adult rehab services, formerly texas commission for the blind) me: "Why?" him: "They said some of my stuff in my resumé was untrue, Jonathon told them, I know it, it's all his fault." me: (fighting not to snort coffee) "I see. What do you plan to do about it?" him: "I'm picking you up on Saturday and you're coming with me to talk to him." me: (covering phone and briefly conversing with family) "I'm afraid we'll be busy this weekend, but you're welcome to bring him to our apartment and we can sit on the porch." He is not allowed in this dommocile under any circumstance, for reasons that he tampered with my friend's computer, her husband (Keith's) computers, and then denied the whole thing later. him: "I want to see you." me: "you see me enough. Now I'm eating, so see you later." *golden click*.
"civilian under orders" my a$$! You tampered with our equipment, you made sure my lappy didn't work when your least favourite flavour of Linux got tested out on it... (that's the current theory). How about a nice, big anvil? Lugnut.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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And why would he want to see you? Does he think you're a friend, or something? -Seamus
-seamus: I don't know. he thinks I'm going to help with his projects. he never finishes them. -AdmiralLaurie
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31.
Mr. Tornado and the laptop
Mr. Tornado, John and I were seated at our respective tables, working on computers in various states of disassembly, screwdrivers all over the place. A client comes in with a compaq e500 laptop under one arm.
Client: "my son says this doesn't work."
Mr. Tornado, (talking over John who had just told the client to hand him the laptop) "let me see it let me see it I can fix it i know how to fix it I have training in these sorts of things."
John: "well, it charges batteries, but it doesn't seem to do anything else. Was it recently dropped?"
Client: "I don't know, my son didn't say."
John removes the cover of the laptop and looks at the pannel for the power buttons and so on (note: that was his terminology, not mine) and says "this is broken, I'll be glad to fix this for you.
Mr. Tornado, at this point, walks over and yanks the laptop away from John, and tells the client that he'll fix it and repeats his mantra of "i know what I'm doing."
The client leaves, after giving me her contact info, which i put into our computer and she pays for the diagnostics. Two hours later Mr. tornado has not done anything but disassemble the computer, and says "there's nothing wrong it just needs a reformat." And proceed to do so without backing up the client's data.
thank $deity she was a regular of ours and we had asked her permission to take backups of her data last time she was in.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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.. and this psudo tech is still walking.. why? i mean - surly you have good old Duct tape at the shop? and chairs? and he sits occationally , yes?
rolly office chairs work best.. hold to tape and just spin the hell out of 'em. -Harm
Edward Nygma: [as Fred dangles at the edge of the broken window over the water chasim] Fred, Babe, you are fired, or should I say: Terminated!
[lets Fred fall to his death]
Edward Nygma: Surfs up, Big Kahuna!
[splash]
Edward Nygma: Ooooo, nice form, but a little rough on the landing. He may have to settle for the bronze. -Biosynthetic
Remember, in Texas, "He needed killin'" will hold up in court! :) -Seamus
I think this clown is ready for a self-administered termination opportunity... Where's a USB stick with some nice filthy pop-ups on it? -TieDyedDinosaur
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32.
The honest to $deity Tinfoil hat! nt
headed out to The Magic Time Machine tonight for dinner, since we don't eat out too often, and well, it was someone's birthday. For those who are unfamiliar, basically this place has some of the most out of place whackiest design concepts put all into one place--i.e an old car in the buffet area, a santa chair near the actua dining area, a french horn as the light above our table.... so on.
Well, we're in the middle of our dinner, and I've just literally started chewing on my food when "peter Pan" seats a couple the female of which is having a birthday, and is turning 21. PP=Peter pan K=my friend's husband, m=me. PP "now since you are turning 21, I've got a very special hat that I'm making for you myself, right here at your table, that's made of tinfoil, so that the aliens can't read your thoughts." m (attempts to swallow, inhales something, starts coughing and laughing) pp brings out a huge piece of tinfoil and makes a viking style hat, places it on the woman's head, by now she's beat-red. me, not even bothering to keep my voice, nor my laughter in check, "this is going up on tsc, and I'm getting someone to get a picture and when I can, pics are going up." My friend walked by and asked the by now extremely mortified and under-the-table girl if she could have a picture, and the girl said of course, and we promised that it wouldn't go up on my lj. And it hasn't. BFEG.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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You know the rule. Pics, or it didn't happen. -Stryker One
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33.
yeah, sure...
So I'm temporarily looking into a work from home oprotunity so that I can get some of my medical things taken care of. Anyway, i email a business that I was told about and had looked up. All seemed promising. Until I got the email:
This is it in its entirety. Pay close attention:
Hello, I am interested in doing the work from home gift wrapping program. However, I am visually impaired. Are there any special patterns I must follow?
yes
or is it up to me what the wrap turns out to look like?
no
Also, is the check sent in the mail or direct deposit?
mail
how long does each wrap take to make?
Depends on experience. If you can read this email, the patterns are simply dots and lines.
Thank you for your time.
Cordially,
J. t.laurie
Funny thing is, no one answers when I call, yet they claim there's always someone there. Can we say, incoming nuclear lart?
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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One of the most lucrative home based businesses is ... selling lucrative home-based business opportunities. -TieDyedDinosaur
We can easily say "scam". -Grue
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34.
security? what's that?
I swear to $deity this happened. In my fifth grade year, the computers were set up so that our login was our first name, which would select it from the list of every student in the district, or at least get you to where you could arrow up or down and select. then, you had to enter your password. It wasn't your student identification number. It wasn't your mother's maiden name. it wasn't your favourite colour. Oh no no no. It was the first three letters of your last name. And when this was pointed out to the teacher about how insecure the system was, she said, and I quote: "Security? we don't need that here."
She didn't last much longer than the end of that school year. And no, you never could change your password. It was changed to your student id when you hit your sixth grade year.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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I have mentioned the College I am at but at least the passwords are changed regularily and you cannot reuse any of your last 25 passwords
-Zoomer
Could be worse. The same password for all student computers that was used while I was in high school is still being used today the last I heard. At least they finally took away admin rights a couple years ago. Oh, I graduated high school 8.5 years ago. The password? student -PCChaos
Way back in college my prof gave me this password. Until this day, I am still using it. I however am not able to write the password on paper without me typing it first. It was then an autogenerated 9 alphanumeric password. Now I simply modified the password by pressing the shift key to convert to special characters. And yes, I am still not able to write it down. My hands have memorized it somehow. -kennz
At my school your username is a combo of your first and last name, default password is your student number and you can't use the wirelessunless you've changed it. -Icelator
At my College the Tutor set us a group task to do with Assisted Suicide. I was tasked with looking up various Faiths views on suicide. My search of Religious sites was continuously interupted by "This Web Site is blocked for unsuitable content. Your request for it has been logged." I printed out the refusal pages and the Tutor is having to go to the Administrators to get the "iffy" requests scrubbed from my record. Meanwhile I am doing that bit of research from home -Zoomer
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35.
Don't nab the drive!
Friend of mine has sticky fingers, and makes off with another friend's flash drives, on which is around $200 of irreplaceable software. So, we go over there a couple of days ago, and They manage to find the drives in her purse, of all places. She also swiped a brick phone.......
So, the punishment? I have at my disposal one of those shocking lighters, so I passed it to her and showed her where to press. She yipped when she got the zap. I said, "And this, my dear, is why we don't swipe things. That's my flash drive and if anyone but me touches it, they get a nasty little zappity" (Of course, not, but she's too stupid to realise this) And so that's my puny lart for today.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Comments
Id be more of an ahole and load a thumbdrive with some nasty virus and leave it out for her. Maybe something that will encrypt all her files with a 128 bit encryption and sets a display message about the karma of stealing. But hay I hate humans so ummm nuff said...
-Crai
You call this a friend? Why didn't you lop off a finger or 2. -atomicbill
All Fish Must Be Eaten! -Seamus
Pass me the f'kin bat, this StickyFish needs a lesson! -lineswine
Your friend needs treatment. Seriously. I recommend shock therapy, invest in a good cattle prod! -TieDyedDinosaur
Atomic Bill: I was seriously tempted to lob off a few fingers, but she needs them to function as she is also sight-impaired. Crie, Excellent idea! Lineswine, bat's in the closet, alcohol is on tap and you know where I keep the valium and zoloft. -AdmiralLaurie
Well then just smash 4 or 5 on each hand with a hammer. Just enough that it hurts like hell to do anything with them for a week or so. It will be a good reminder to keep them to herself. -atomicbill
"Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, NO SWIPING!!!" </obligatory> -PTSTech
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36.
first post from unbuntu
O.o Wow.... I'm thoroughly blown away. cool! I love you Linus Torvel (sp?)
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Comments
Torvalds. (And if you're using a reader, T O R V A L D S) -Calydor
Ah, Linus Torvalds. Finland's gift to women.. and men.. and small fuzzy animals... :D -Ara
Congrats! We'll make a tech of you yet... ;-) -Gromit
Heh, you're FINALLY using Linux? I hate to say I told you so... -lineswine
Congrats! What a great OS! I love mine. Lappy, almost twice the runtime as winblows with some power tweaks, found my wireless card after 1 update session and a reboot. Tux is my hero, as well. All Hail the Penquin King <or something>. -computerdoc
Excellent. Chalk up another saved soul to TSC. :~} -RiffRaff
when did TSC become a religion? -gashach
So say we all. -ProfessorFrink
Welcome to the Penguin side. -clockkingfl
Working great, no? OH! And which version you got running? -ShujinTribble
Welcome to Linux! Should you run into any questions or problems- try out LinuxQuestions.org- it's an awesome community- and I just spent the past 30 minutes... answering questions -LegalTech
to answer the question of version, its Ubuntu 8.04 lts. I'm going to have a friend of my best friend wipe the drive and duel-boot xp and this one on here so that I can learn a bit more. For right now, I'm using the live cd to tinker with it and learn what I can and cannot do. -AdmiralLaurie
Welcome to the Light Side! -DarthIndy
Its shiny on this side I dual boot between LinuxMint and WinXp have been for a while -Suspenderstech
um, why is this magical? I've been using linux blind since 2003 and unix sighted way before that. as a matter of fact there are allot of blind people that use linux like users of speakup, orca, oralux, brltty, emacspeak, etc. I'm glad your happy and all but...... MEH! -blindtech
Linux? Meh. I am lazy. Linux is to much work to set up with Wine to run my games. I am a tech. I don't break Windows. It is 7 years of bad luck or something. -DarkRookie
Welcome to "Community for Community Sake". Guess you won't be needing Compiz Fusion? -billybien
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37.
And now I present to you...
A starfish in disguise. A friend of mine, decided that he wanted the value of his monitor. So, he gave me the model number and serial number, asking me if I knew anything about it. Of course, I don't, and besides, what the hell does the serial number have to do with the selling value? Anyway, I try explaining to this idiot that he can google it. he said he wasn't having any luck. So I told him in no uncertain terms: me. "I know nothing about monitors or video equipment. If you are expecting my help, then my suggestion is going to be to look it up. If you are unable or unwilling to do so, then the buck stops with you and I suggest you take the clunker into a pc shop." Him. "But they'll want to sell it. btw, I have spyware on my solaris drive" me: ... (head in hands) "then get a spyware remover, and remove it. if one does not exist, reinstall solaris" him. "How did I get it?" me. "from visiting a website of some sort." him. "I know! I'll use a proxy server, that way they won't find me!" me (grasping at straws, reaching for the ibuprofen and tea) "A proxy server won't help. Its like hiding behind me in a gunfight. Sooner or later, you're gonna get hit. That and it'll just travel through the proxy connection straight into your machine." him. "But I wanna use a proxy!" me. "Fine. do it. It won't do much good, but do it anyway, if you're that stupid."
More IQ-draining bs from this idiot very soon, I'm sure.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Comments
sounds like some of my customers... ME you're out of warranty. EU but it was working before. and you supported me before. ME yes but its not working now, and you need me now, and its out of warranty now, so now you need to call them. EU but they charge ME this is not something i have control over. EU but it was working before... OMG!!!!! -iamscoop
Heh, when I get that lack of braincells I ask them, "If you're out driving and you hit a tree, do you get out after and ask it why it was growing in the middle of the road?" -spectreoflife
Well of course you need the serial number to find the value of the monitor! It might be a rare, first edition monitor, signed by the author. *ducks for cover* -Voz
Admittedly I'm not familiar with Solaris at all, but isn't spyware on Solaris akin to superman catching the flu? -LazyLemming
What the frack is a starfish doing running Solaris anyway? Or is he just connected to that drive with NFS or something similar? -chazz
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38.
update
After posting the previous story at something like three or four in the morning, I decided to try and get some sleep. Windows update was crunching away on something which required a reboot, so I decided to let it do its thing and just to ignore the fact I had no music. It restarts. can't access the internet. Can't access much of anything, really. I get a message at logon saying that its installing service pack 1 and "do not turn off your computer". no please, as in my experience, Microsoft usually says "please do not turn off your computer". Anyway... Two or three hours later when I finally get out of bed, I notice that I can access msn meseenger but nothing else. fine. Restart.... and wtf? a dialog covering the right half of the screen and nothing else will come up. not even jaws. So, I leave it alone until my friend comes home. She said whatever it was, it borked my machine something fierce. Fdisk, Format, Reinstall....... Now, I have to reinstall, reconfigure and redo all my files. thank gods for redundant backups on multiple machines. Anyway, that's the update.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Comments
fdisk, format, reinstall....it isn't complete without "DooDah, DooDah" (to the tune of Camptown Ladies") -CTYankee
brainstem, brainstem!
Sorry, that's what popped into my head after reading CTYankee's comment. -harrellj
Wait. Service pack 1? Is that vista? In case it was a typo, and you meant SP-3 for XP, and since you are going to reinstall, download Service Pack 3 from Microsoft and install it manually. Then disable automatic updates and do your updates manually. Automatic updates is source of problems; the updates have to install while it's shutting down, and if something goes wrong, it's bye bye system. I've seen that often enough to have learned the lesson. -TheGhost
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39.
that's it! that's frakking it!
How the hell is it that my vista laptop can't establish a connection with almost any server, even to download updates for Spybot, but every other xp laptop in the house can do it with no problems? w.t.f? Microsoft, You claim that you're improving the lives of computer users everywhere with Vista, but somehow, those of us with half a neuron will realise that you're pulling the wool over our eyes. What makes you think that any of us who want to use our computer and not use all the bs eyecandy that you shove on us and all the spyware bloatware and other crap that the OEM installs by default is going to make me happy? I can't even uninstall office, nor norton internet penis compensation. Please please please please, I'm praying tomorrow we can wipe and install nothing more overdone than 98se. Whew. I'm done. Comments flames and anything else welcome. <aims a double bird in the direction of Redmond.>
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Comment:: been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Admiral, before you go hog-wild on the reinstall, try updating the firmware in the wireless router. So far I'm six for six in getting Vista to suddenly connect when the router is re-flashed. -chazz
Beggin' the Colonel's pardon there Chazz, but... Why the hell SHOULD a router's firmware need an update to see a Vista-OS Machine? (Never mind the fact that I don't trust upgrading the firmware on most devices due to the 'Oh, HAIL!' factor if it gets bricked.) -ShujinTribble
Simple. Vista's handling DHCP packets differently than XP and previous OSen did from Microsoft. Both are b0rked from the standards, but b0rked differently. It has to do with the "Always On IPv6" status of Vista. -ralphp1024
Turn the "always on IPV6" setting OFF and Vista's net access is 1000X times faster. -Griffin2020
Your issue is more than likely NOT with Vista. It is probably Norton that is causing the problem. -Griffin2020
I've got 3 hp lappies and a desktop running FISTA for about a year now and still no problems. Not one. -formatCdrive
Is the Vi$ta box showing a "Local" connection, but unable to to authenticate? -Voz
Vista is fine. Just got to turn off the 30 services you dont need. My laptop runs with it just fine. -DarkRookie
*cough UBUNTU *cough -computerdoc
Bugnux -billybien
"*cough UBUNTU *cough -computerdoc" QFT! Ubuntu is love. -TranceGemini
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40.
whoops.....
an idiotic student in a programming class went into notepad and typed "start.bat" and saved it. then ran it. over 210 instances of cmd.exe later..... I'm still laughing!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Wabbit. A neat little batch program that creates four little batch programs named Flopsy, Mopsy, Wopsy, and PeterCotnTl. Each of them creates four more. Each of them creates four more. Very soon your computer crashes. -chazz
Years and years ago, I created what my friends and family have called the "evil batch program". It's format name was Bootstrap.bat. When you ran it, it created a hidden directory called "a", and copied the contents of your root directory into "a". Then, it moved into "a", created a sub of that called "a", and copied everything into it again. It would keep going until I stopped it, or it ran out of hard drive space. On even slow computers, it could hide a substantial portion of your available hard drive space in a matter of minutes. Heheh. Good times. -docbrown01
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41.
ok ok, I have vista, but...
My god, we had to put at least 2 gigs of ram in my computer to make it even boot properly. it was running home basic on 512, and Jaws wouldn't even run and the sounds were.... to say the least... choppy. once I turned off all the bs, installed the earliest version of jaws that would run with vista, and figured out that one-key navigation that makes jaws so damned intuitive doesn't work with vista anymore..... I think I prefer xp, or hell even 98. Now, where the hell is my sledge hammer? cause I'm gonna smash the damned recovery disks to itty bitty bits, wipe the farking hard drive and reinstall xp! fcking microshaft. can't you idiots even make an os that won't die every time something wants to run? aaaaaaarrrrrgh! Thanks for the rant space. I feel better. (exit Admiral, in pj's and ski vest, stage left)
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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This sounds like a job for PCLOSG! http://getpclinuxos.com/ -billybien
You know, sometimes, just sometimes, it's the EU and not the OS. Been running Vista (64bit) for over a year now, and it works just fine. In fact, I'm liking it much better than WinXP. -Caboose447
Actually, the problem with Linux (Alas!, even PCLOS) is that screen-readers and aids for blind people are not too good. I tried once to help Laurie to get ORCA, but it just didn't work. ... Although that was a while ago; I'll see how it's doing now. -TheGhost
My current experience with Linux convince me that it is simultaneously a serious challenge to Vista and a completely useless option for a significant majority of users. The problem I am addressing can be encapsulated in a couple words you can google 'RALINK RT61 WPA'. Either a particular distribution supports it natively, through downloaded packages, by compiling a module, wrapping the windows driver or by transplanting from another distribution, with or without wpa_supplicant. At least five mutually contradicting solutions! -TieDyedDinosaur
The only OS I've crashed more often than Vista is the old Mac OS. 'Course, I don't really get along with GUIs anyway, but still... -charred
I have been experimenting with various flavors of Linux in order to make a tiny dedicated 'ftp-appliance'. The wireless WPA functionality is a nightmare. Even for a well-defined, well supported Planet 8315 card, the simultaneous requirements of 'small', 'fast', 'low resources' and 'easily automated' seem nearly insurmountable. Windows fails on all of the first three requirements. Various Linux distributions cover a subset of all the requirements. -TieDyedDinosaur
So far I have it operating under Windows XP (not small, not easy on resources), Ubuntu (not small, a bit easier on resources), Slitaz (fairly small, fairly easy on resources) and almost working on DSL. -TieDyedDinosaur
I too am a hater of Fista... installed and ran for almost a whole week... went back to XP... mainly because almost none of my peripherals worked and half my software isn't compatable... I'm not buying new printers, scanners, etc just to upgrade to an OS when what I have works fine... and I'm not about to spend thousands of dollars on software just to get something Fista capable... I've already paid for it once... /me attempts to assume look of complete innocents AND a 'prove it' look at the same time... fails... and bolts to the LART shelter -TechnoTherapist
I neutered Vista the minute I got my new PC home. It does my bidding and is now my HCTIB! -Biosynthetic
Crashing Vista? Crashing Mac OS? That's small change. My co-worker crashed MVS/XA! -concept14
when you see how well a tiny linux like puppy works, it's amazing that a horrific amalgamation of bloated suckware like fista even exists. -stiffarm
Totally agreed with StiffArm. Puppy is awesome. You should give it a try TDD, so far everything wireless has worked great on every PC i've tried it on, and the OS flies even on my 700mhz 128mb laptop. -LazyLemming
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42.
quick question
would post in the forums but need help quick. can a blackberry be washed without suffering complete and total death? mom's got washed and its still ringing when I call it, but she's thinking it's totally. gone. help!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Comments
Disassemble it as far as you can while still being able to put it together again and dry as much as you can. In a warm dry place spread out the pieces on something like a cooling tray so air can get to both sides and set a fan to blow across for at least an hour (a hair-dryer even on warm might damage the screen), if there are trapped pockets of damp this could stretch to 24 hours. If you are very lucky nothing will corrode. -AussieFoot
Quick answer: it's FUBARed. -Gromit
If it was turned on when water hit it, you might as well go get a new one. If it was turned off while it was washed, follow AussieFoot's advice. -RiffRaff
seen this many times before, 90% chance it's toast -TheDanimal
I got lucky with a bluetooth headset and a few cell phones, but the last bluetooth that took a trip through the washer was deadsville. Like what was said above if it was off you got a chance but if it was on it's a paperweight.... -SirBSOD
This happens alot with iPods. You might try the suggestions here: http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6314753 The main idea is to immediately turn off wet electronics (if they're on) and disassemble them as fully as you feel comfortable (as AussieFoot said). Turning on wet electronics to test them is always a big no-no because usually any chance one has of salvaging a unit goes out the window when it shorts out. Since the BB was still ringing it might still have a chance. Keep it turned off for awhile (A week wouldn't be a bad idea). -LinuXtreme
Stick it in the refrigerator (not the freezer) for a few hours. The low humidity in it will suck the moisture out of it. When you take it out, let it sit for an hour to reach room temperature. then give it a try. Worked on every cell phone I ever had get wet... -JoeLugian
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43.
woohoo!
Today's my 18th birthday! waaaaaaaaheeeee! San Antonio, tomorrow at 11:10 a.m, here I come!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Comments
happy birthday -compbrat
Happy Birthday! -Grue
Jailbait no more! <Takes a running dive for the LART shelter....> -SalParadise
Happy Birthday -Phylok
Have a happy one! -Ramblin
Happy birthday -RiffRaff
Happy 18th! -FormerSithLord
Happy 18th! Now you can be charged as an adult! -unrenowned
Happy Birthday!! -purplelinguist
I don't remember much about 18. It's all lost in a haze of Shakey's Pizza, Pac Man, Missle Command and Asteroids. The 80's were good to me, man! -Biosynthetic
/me jailbreaks AL. Now you are free! -gashach
Congrats on surviving this long! -TechnoVampire
Me too Bio...except Tempest was in there somewhere. Happy Birthday, A.L. -FixitWench
Happy Birthday -Zoomer
Wheeeeeee! :) *hugs* -Ara
Happy Birthday! (I was excited about turning 18 too... Then I realized the primary changes in my life was I could get drafted and arrested.) -MeanDean
I turned 18, and could drink (legally) - for a month an a half. Then they raised the drinking age.... (So I stocked up in December!) -Divinar
Woot! Happy birthday, miss. -Seamus
Happy birthday! -thx1138
Happy BDay! -BarmanVarn
Have a good one! -Blargmanus
Happy birthday! Doing anything special? -LinuXtreme
Happy birthday! -rosemetal
18? $diety I'm old... I don't even remember 18... too much drugs and alcohol fogging the years I think... so... you're 18 now... I can legally hit on you! How YOU do'in? /races to stand in line for the LART shelter... what? A LINE? Crap! -TechnoTherapist
Bappy Hirthday - Figured I'd be different than the rest -ApolloSZ
(O_O) ...Holy CRAP!! Can I be arrested for the fantasies I had, considering she was a minor then?! -ShujinTribble
Happy Birthday, A.L.! Now you can taste the beginnings of adulthood legally. Go register to vote for the people of your choice if you havent yet. Hmm.. wonder if its too late in your state.
-Darkridr
Happy Birthday from someone who was twice your age 13 days ago. -LoTech
Hapy Birthday at long last! :) -taieena
WOW I already thought you had acheived the age of adulthood. Well welcome anyway and have a very happy birthday -raneshem
Hippo Boidies, young one! -MadJack
hey what's a few more bulletholes in that Alamo anyway? hbd AL -stiffarm
Happy Belated -conundrum
AL is now legal! The perverts here will be trying to find her my space page. Me? I'm running to the LART shelter. -crazymactech
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44.
nice try.
Just a note to an i.t monkey that visited our little corner of the school today: when gmail, and other pages, are loading slower than an sf's ability to learn to use the mouse properly, please please for the love of $root do not simply say that it's just us. Because when we can hear Mrs. Next-door yelling because the computer won't load her powerpoint off the shared drive, there's. something. wrong. I somehow think it's the macacrap that they have installed and chewing up more resources than me putting away cookies. Lazy lousy luseresque f$cknugget. Go. screw. a. thornbush.
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Comments
<not pointed at the author> If you're going to own the school network, own the network. Exercise complete control. If they don't want to use your machines and your software, then don't let them connect. To anything. Anywhere. And pull the phone. -AngrySup
So, how did that little bout end? -Seamus
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45.
a big coodos
To Matt at Freedom scientific technical support, for helping me with a hair-tearing intermittent problem that was causing my jaws program to not work properly, even after a reinstall. Thanks, dude!
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Comments
Try "kudos", just a suggestion. :) Always good to hear of a fellow tech helping out. -redfaery
Red: a gentle reminder: Admiral Laurie is blind and uses a screen reader. If she's never seen the word, it's hard to know how to spell it other than phonetically. Admiral Laurie: to keep those who are unaware of your condition happy, that word is spelled k u d o s. -chazz
chazz : Don't feed the troll. Egg Shen with a screen reader doesn't cut it. And for those with screen readers ( Like Bee Tea ) , that's Kay Ewe Dee Ohh Ess. -Necros
Before this goes nuclear, let me remind you the egg shit first appeared on a post of mine a few years ago. I have never thought of Admiral Laurie or anyone with physical disabilities as an "EggShen". An Egg-whatever will attack a person who is having a hard time without provocation. I have not seen that kind of garbage on this site before or since. Admiral Laurie is no Egg-anything. She simply does the best she can, and actually does better than I expected for a person with vision difficulties. -srteach
AL is hardly a troll. Young, emotional, and sometimes annoying, yes. But she is no troll. -RiffRaff
i actually thought it was a clever new apropism, as in coo-ing with appreciation. nice to see props to good TS too AL. -stiffarm
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46.
the techy's plea
$Deity, give me the patience to teach these idiots that a mouse is not a lasso, and to teach them not to pound on the trackpad when the laptop won't respond. Pleas give me the strength to teach these farkwits that bread goes in, toast comes out, and how to wipe their own a$$ without written instructions. Please also give me the sanity to tell the science and survival teacher that leaving everybody's farking student ids' and passwords into their school computer accounts all written down and laying out where everybody can see it, with the student's name next to it, is a really bad idea. Please also give me the strength to not reach back and break the farker's neck who constantly pounds his laptop on the lab table, and then b!tches when it doesn't work. And this is with my prozac...
[By: AdmiralLaurie]
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Comments
Bread goes in, toast comes out? Please tell me you're exaggerating... -BarmanVarn
There a folk singer named Scott Kalenstein who has a song that begins "God grant me the serenity to accept the assholes you send to me." -MisterCommon
How to retire with a good pension as a tech rep: Always write down the adventures you have, then write your memoirs. Granted it'll have to go into the Fiction section as no one will believe them. -Biosynthetic
no, barman, I'm not exagerating. these fuckers are so stupid it's a wonder they can make it to school every day. -AdmiralLaurie
Everyone knows knows bread goes in and a blueberry muffin comes out. </foamy> -LazyLemming
I can get Pizza Bites out of my toaster. -Stryker One
I'm wondering when my toaster is going to run out of toast. It doesn't even have an indicator when it's that it's running low... -n8
GE© LOAD BREAD? WTF does that mean? -ThinTheHerd
Well, There's your first problem! A Mouse is a Bolo, not a Lasso! *waits for incoming mouse-bolos* -LoTech
New use for an old mouse.....giving an idiot who can't find their back side, a new tail when its properly inserted. -Grinkle
reminds me of a "calvin and hobbes" cartoon: "wow, where does the bread go?" "beats me! isn't that weird?" -Erictheblue
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Customer Misconceptions
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1.
Cable company misconception: it's perfectly ok to repeatedly call me with promotional calls, even after I've asked you twice, nicely to stop and remove my number from your database. I don't care if I have service with you, that doesn't make it right! Furthermore, you tell me that you've upgraded me for the same price I'm paying so that now I supposedly have the rr standard, but I still get the same bad speeds and dropouts. No wonder it's often called crime warner. B@st@rds.....
[2011-11-08]
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2.
You have no need of actually shutting up for five seconds and paying attention. You also have no need of keeping the link to the kb I sent you.
[2011-09-21]
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3.
The fact that you stumble, fumble and stammer when randomly asked if you have the software needed installed, after lying to us again in the past about it, causing you to be over an hour late getting online, and forcing the person before you to run over due to your b.s that should've been solved in between times, that we won't let you go right then and there. The same applies for lying to the boss and saying that so and so was lying about this, or that she was skiving off to go play a game. Oh, that dent in the wall? That's from my head.
[2011-08-18]
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4.
The notes I gave you after troubleshooting are merely a waste of space. YOu don't need to keep, memorize or actually, y'know, use them for anything. Even if you don't need them, you might want to file them away. Oh,. and don't lie and say you put them away. I heard you delete them via your speakers. Skype isn't one way, you a$$hat.
[2011-08-09]
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5.
Gah, they're crawling out of the woodwork today. When you, the sole programmer on a project, are called out on the carpet, for a bug fix that you swore would be fixed in the new shiny version, that was not fixed, and in fact, made worse in this version, that you have the right to throw a fit, and threaten to blacklist us from using yoursoftware.... That we're not going to walk off with the source code and fix it ourselves. It's open source for a reason, you reverse-evolved dumba$$. And the fact that you didn't credit another developer for the massive amount of work he did, doesn't help. I may not be a programmer, but I can walk through code and figure some of it out. You're going to lose a lot of donations that way. Oh, and don't come whining to us when you lose more than half of your user base because of this bs. And putting our personal information out on Twitter for everyone and his dog to see, as an antipiracy measure for your program for pandora, that the blind must pay for, when the normal service is free, don't think the backlash won't happen. because it will. Whew. I feel better.
[2011-07-27]
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6.
That having two separate identities for Outlook Express is tantamount to either
a) multiple personality disorder,
B) identity theft or,
C) bipolar disorder with dilusional tendancies.
I mean no offence to any of y'all that do have ibipolar, etc.
[2011-06-05]
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7.
That I will be happy to fix something I have never taken apart before. Or software that I don't recognise the name of. I cannot fix these things on short notice.
And no, I will not fix your AOL installation. Not unless you supply me with copious amounts of coffee, aspirin and cheesecake.
[2011-03-21]
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8.
I will be happy to fix the piece of equipment that your brat has made an absolute mess of. Furthermore, I will do it for free, or for spare change.
I won't happily let my caregiver know you're making me feel uncomfortable when your passtime while I'm working is to tip my chair backwards then let go and listening to the muffled cussing. Poking fun and giggling will earn you a one-way trip out the front door.. It's furthermore funny to jab me in the back.
And if you should choose not to listen to the two verbal warnings, you don't have the right to get mad when you get dragged out by my companion and the door slammed in your face. And no, you can't fire her. That's my job, and it's not happening.
[2011-03-18]
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9.
That I'm going to be perfectly chipper and ready to move the minute I open my eyes.
there's no way you're getting me to touch your greasy, filthy netbook this early in the morning. Come back when I've had my requisit three pots of coffee, 1/2 pain pill, two aspirin and the vitamin that covers breakfast.
[2011-02-27]
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10.
Neighbour misconception: That I will make a king-sized bedspread, by hand, for only $50, excepting the cost of materials.
[2009-11-02]
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11.
Asking me five times a minute "is it done yet?" will make the task go any quicker. Bonus points for if you're standing outside my window yelling this into my living room and I'm in the kitchen. Even more bonus points when I tell you it's done, you take one look at it and sigh and whine like a petulent little kid who needs his a$$ whipped.
[2009-10-29]
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12.
Building owner misconception: that it's perfectly ok to be told that my entire stove doesn't work due to it having to be unplugged since your jerry-rigging of bypassing something in the safety relays to shut it down when it tries to do self-clean and hence screams its brains out due to the doorlatch being physically broken and stripped doesn't hold, and then wait nearly two weeks to get your lazy a$$ over here while I'm still sick and still contagious. And it's ok for you to ignore the nice big water leak on the top of my bedroom window, as well.
I'm tempted to ask for some off my next month's rent and him to pay for the takeout I've had to do, but I think imho that I'm being too hard on him. In his defence he was sick, but that doesn't excuse him taking this bleeding long. And when confronted he'll deny it to the death, saying things like "she be fine, I feex eet good..."
[2009-10-07]
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13.
That cnp will work every time without using the menus. Somehow, and I don't profess to understand how this happened, I made a "scrap" in place of the folder I was updating on my pendrive. So I check the properties, says it's some kind of shell scrap, and I try twice more, with the same fscking result. Ok, Let's take the long way. Menus ahoy! It works. *stares towards ceiling* Thank you $tech.deity, for allowing the backup of the novel I'm writing to be completed with no further hiccups.
[2009-06-29]
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14.
That I enjoy having glass picked out of me.
[2009-06-04]
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15.
Mr. tornado: you have every right to yell and become verbally abusive to myself and a friend because you think you know all about the ins and outs of transferring a car into someone else's name. You also think that just because the order in which you should do things isn't the order you were given, or preparation instructions for something doesn't mesh with your personal power trip, that you can cheerfully ignore these instructions.
[2009-05-27]
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16.
cow-irker misconception: that me losing something important is a minor triviality, and vice versa. that new flash drive with copies of all my software, config files and speech dictionaries? "oh, you'll find it later." a paperclip I keep in my bag for reset buttons stuck halfway up the sinuses of the device? "oh my god, oh my god!"
[2009-05-24]
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17.
when a government agency finds out a fraction of how much you've been lying, they'll kick you out of their little circle pdq. And when they do, you are perfectly welcome to lay the blame at your partner's feet, and then come bitching to me and will expect, nei, demand, empathy and tears. What you will get is the undignified sight of me dancing a jig and laughing my a$$ off.
[2009-05-07]
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18.
That I'm going to be awake until I've had my coffee.
[2008-12-17]
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19.
that replacing the monitor will cause you to lose all your work. This gem came from my braindead aunt.
[2008-12-13]
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20.
a salespuke misconception: that the cane I carry is for decoration. Do not try to rope me into using text messaging when you've already verified that the phone I picked for ease of use and its bulk isn't compatible with the screen readers out there. And then tell me that it'll be wonderful if I forget my password to the site, and that I can get offers and promos. Hello? Common frakking sense? I. can't. use. it! I know this, and frankly I don't give a damn. Now, salespuke, crawl back into the commode from which you came, and quit mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
[2008-12-10]
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21.
I'm going to give you the ins and outs of dos, win xp, msconfig, and the control pannel, when you won't even google for answers, or when you do you say google is too complicated. not without some kind of serious compensation, I won't! Frakkin freeloader... Diaf already!
[2008-12-09]
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22.
a self misconception: that you have to return to the homepage of tsc before submitting content. O.o I'm an idiot.
[2008-11-13]
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23.
that just because you're nocturnal, that so is the rest of the world. no. assnuggets.
[2008-10-31]
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24.
That I'll help you when you don't bother stating your problem, just continually howl that it doesn't work and your superior is going to kick my ass. Guess what, sucker? you broke it, I ain't fixing it unless I'm apologised to. A$$nuggets. every. last. one. of. them!
[2008-10-30]
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Tech Rules
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1.
A general rule of customer service, and society in general...
You are not going to make a good first impression, and will decrease the likelihood of someone recommending your several thousand dollar product if, after I explain that I need help locating a branch of your company out in another state, the first words I hear are...
"We don't talk to customers. I'm only talking to you because I wanna be a nice guy."
O.O *sound of brain frying*
Wow. Great customer service, and great manners, too!
[2012-01-13]
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2.
When you get the wild hair to try and either a) run a scam or b) gain access to info that isn't yours, the cell phone company won't bend to your demands. And your ex is as gullible as they come if he believes your cnb story. Thanks for trying to ruin our honeymoon. Now, go away!
[2012-01-04]
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3.
When doing a show, especially an unplanned cover of someone's shift,and particularly while doing so whilst heavily drugged for back pain and insomnia...... Please ensure you're broadcasting on the live mountpoint, not the test server!
I'll never live that down. I have the archive.....
[2011-11-03]
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4.
The time when you get a major ticket come through is when you're the only member of the tech team awake and in the middle of a diagnostic test. "Hold still" means "don't type on your iPad".
[2011-09-15]
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5.
When you call in for cover, less than half an hour before it's needed, instead of the 24 hour minimum, please do not be surprised, nor angry, when you get your last written warning. It's not enough that your record of doing this stretches back to when you started, but that you have to get whiny and say we're discriminating against your rleigious preference, when you don't attend wednesday service, and your cover call is for the afternoon! Needless to say, the management aren't happy with you, and also, don't sob and complain when nobody takes the cover.
[2011-08-18]
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6.
The answer is no. You were told twice. The third time is the charm.... For your shift to open up. Quit it.
[2011-08-10]
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7.
For the love of $deity, our ticket replies and notes should not seguay into who's writing what kb article, when, and why you weren't able to write it sooner. Also, when I provide the contact to resolve the issue via skype, I'd appreciate it greatly if you'd a) leave the pep rally, b) quit arguing with your roomate and c) turn down your music. I like to go to bed without a fraying grasp on sanity, thankyouverymuch.
[2011-08-09]
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8.
"it's a beta!" is not, and I repeat, not, the universal answer to polite questions. Neither is "rtfm", which most of us have done before asking. Thank you for pissing us off. Now, go to the zoo and into the lion's cage. Thanks.
[2011-07-27]
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9.
Keyboards
The more disgusting, hairy, slimy, greasy or smoky the keyboard, the less willing I am to work on it. Not without disinfecting or incinerating it as I see fit.
Corellary: The more chipper your question of, "Can you clean this?" Will be met with a choked back, firmly swallowed...
"Go f**k yourself".
[2011-07-15]
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10.
You lose the right to be upset that your little hellions successfully yanked your netbook off the table. You're lucky there wasn't any major damage.
And please, please, don't bring your kids over. I don't .like little brats climbing on my chair and running into me.
Thank you.
[2011-04-30]
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11.
Don't gesture with a nearly full cup of coffee, or a lit cigarette, right over the laptop you're working on, or using. Ashes are a pita to get out.
Also, don't drop an ice cube into your coffee to cool it right near any equipment. Something could get splattered.
[2011-03-03]
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12.
Yes, your netbook is on the tray of my chair. Yes, I have that for a reason.
Don't talk down to me. My eyes and back are the things that don't work, not my brain. Tray does not equal incompetence.
[2011-02-25]
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13.
The following phrases will not be coming out of my yap while I'm fixing your netbook, and certainly not more than once:
"Please don't pet the dog, she's not a pet."
"Don't lean on the tray of my chair. it's not designed to hold your weight."
"Please don't touch the track pad. It messes up the jaws focus."
"Please try not to lean into my personal space. It makes me incredibly edgy".
After having to repeat one of the above twice, or a multiple of any of those in any combination once, you will be handed your device back and asked to either sit down until you can settle down, or please leave.
I hate people.
[2011-01-07]
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14.
Bathing a dog is similar to, and probably easier than, communicating with a suctomer.
[2010-10-28]
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15.
No amount of coffee, pain pills, whether over the counter or prescription, or herbal remedies will ease an EU-induced headache.
Get off my frakking phone!
[2010-09-20]
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16.
moving stairs
Going down a set of these on your back, with your laptop scraping down the side, is not funny at all.
at least it's not while it's happening. Afterword you and the two people that made the odd package clinging to you as you went down will laugh about it for twenty minutes.
[2010-08-16]
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17.
Analogies
A user will understand an analogy as long as it's backward of what you say.
Example:
me: when you write to the drive, it's like a tattoo. It won't wash off, but it can be covered up. So writing data to the new partition before you recover the old one may cover and distort the data underneath.
user: so I can write to the drive now?
repeat until either you lose it completely or they understand, whichever comes first.
[2010-08-04]
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18.
walking
when you haven't serously walked any distance since Christmas, getting up to your suctomer's apartment will always involve stairs.
correlary: the more you move your butt up those stairs, the shakier and more unsure they'll feel.
[2010-07-31]
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19.
System Recovery
Doing a system recovery is a breeze, until the drive mysteriously wipes itself, leaving only the recovery partition in tact. Furthermore, the sf in question will want everything back the way it was before, spyware and all.
Let me think....
no!
[2010-07-28]
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20.
if you give me the deer in the headlights look when I ask about backup procedures and flatly refuse to get an external drive, you lose all rights to come running when your drive collapses.
[2010-07-16]
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21.
you know you're either a geek, a flea, or a cockroach when coming out at six in the evening makes your vision go all blurry white and painful, and the dim grey light makes your head want to retreat back to the darkened apartment.
[2010-07-03]
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22.
do not come pounding on my door at three in the morning, panicking because you have school work to do that you've put off for way, way too long. Furthermore, do not beg me to come up to your apartment to fix the computer that your little monster sprayed water on without a hefty check, mug of coffee or slice of something sugary waiting when I get up there!
[2010-06-07]
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23.
I've told you three or four times, my vision is too low to use ZoomText, or even to see the damned screen. So stop, please trying to make me use it. I can't convey my frustration in words. I told you enough times. Stop trying to make me use it, shut up and let me use JAWS, like I was doing five seconds before you walked over and said it'd go faster. No it won't. While you're fumbling round on the screen, I've already found the right part using the "Search Page" function and the "links list dialog". So go away!
[2010-06-03]
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24.
no matter the kind of day you're having, pay warm fuzzies forward. Even if it's hot soup and bread on a cool night to a large blended family. They, and the universe, will thank you later.
[2009-12-06]
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25.
Thou shalt not collapse onto thyne only known good working scanner, thereby thoroughly shattering the glass, and then reach down to investigate what it was you landed on. Ow!
[2009-12-03]
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26.
Whoever came up with the idea of instant tea granules should be shot, strangled, tortured, or made to drink their fowl concoction. that is all.
[2009-11-16]
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27.
--nt/ot-- The most heartfelt gifts, are often the simplest. My friend Heidi, who is learning Braille so that she can write to me, does it painstakingly using a slate and stylus. I just got the musical card with our favourite song playing, and she had brailled what she would've written. The same friend that sent me orange juice when I had the flu, and audio books and cd's that were uplifting. Her shawl is going to be massive when I'm done.
[2009-10-24]
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28.
Only when you go to disinfect the bedside table/filing cainbet/"chuck it in a drawer" place will you find the bottle of ibuprofen you spent twenty minutes searching for earlier.
It pays to be organised.
[2009-10-17]
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29.
nqt: the amount of desire to comment on one of dd's blog posts is inversely proportional to the ability to comment. I laughed so hard at the scammer's bait one that I spat mint tea on the laptop!
[2009-10-06]
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30.
nt: when grocery shopping, please for the love of $deity(s) quit gabbing on your cell phone. Watch wehre you're going, and please, don't yell at me when you nearly knock me over. It's not my fault you aren't watching where you put your lardball self!
[2009-10-03]
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31.
nt/ot I'm hereby forbidden from mauling our aloe vera plant. Ow, just ow.
[2009-07-04]
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32.
[nt] Should you be visually impaired as well, I will be glad to show you my rock collection. However, it is unacceptible for you to start clacking some of the more delicate stones together. The hunkof rose quartz on my desk is not a toy!
[2009-06-20]
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33.
no longer allowed to prove that I can do the Dr. Lector hiss. Nor am I allowed to use that to wake my friend up. especially when I'm about three inches from her ear.
[2009-06-19]
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34.
n/t
Make sure the cap is off the milk before pouring it into your tea or coffee. *sigh* I want those fifteen minutes of my life back. Yes it took that long, yes this is my first cup, no I'm not awake yet.
[2009-06-01]
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35.
My scraps of compassion are dying. One by one. If you are a confirmed starfish, and are suicidal, well..... however, if you are a tech, a geek or at least smart, please seek help. Should you call me again at two in the morning for no other reason than your pregnant wife has found out what a jacka$$ you really are, guess what? I'm in bed. You're not going to find that I'll be answering. This has been a PSA from the BOFH society in the texas hillcountry. thank you, and remember, one 50-cal shell, and no more sf!
[2009-05-30]
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36.
I'm no longer going to apologise for your behaviour. you screw up, you apologise. If you're not willing to do so, then you'll be on the receiving end of a fusion lart. And trust me, I've watched one being delivered. It's fscking scary!
[2009-05-27]
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37.
When walking through your local Borders, and should you be blessed enough to find the "office space flare" set, pick it up. $8.95 for geekgasm fun! And guess how many came in the set? Just over the bare minimum. "If you think the bare minimum is how you best express yourself....." I bought them without thinking. Methinks I'm going to pin them onto my tsc shirt.
[2009-05-26]
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38.
when leaving your computer with someone to get it fixed, write down absolutely everything that you need, want and don't want coming near your system. I got sp3, ie8, office xp and four version of .net framework, along with windows search 4.0. huh? And my friend told me not to fill it with crap?
[2009-05-22]
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39.
Thank $deity for Ibuprofen, heating pads, pizza and chamomile tea.
[2009-05-15]
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40.
That last cup of coffee that's been stewing in the bottom of the glass pot for about three days is fair game. If you aren't going to drink it soon, I will.
[2009-04-19]
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41.
I should not have to explain to someone who is "computer liturate" (purposefully mispelled as that was how the idiot spelled it) that macintosh and Apple are not two separate companies, and that Sun microsystems and Micro$haft aren't the same company.
[2008-11-21]
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42.
when you're awake at 3 in the morning, and the router decides to go to bed before you do, your only saving graces from a stay in the madhouse are: 1) the huge bottles of soda plus the extra 24-pack of dr. pepper right beside your campout spot. 2) the bottle of "pain reliever pm" and your favourite herbal knockouts and 3) that you've saved your favourite tsc pages as offline webpages and therefore can view them whenever your pipe to the rest of the intertubes has become clogged with the inevitable plug of stupidity, dead brain cells and indescribable sludge and calcification of the wires created by talking to idiots on a daily basis.
[2008-11-20]
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43.
the moment that you pick up something very messy to eat that you can't easily put down, and you're reading something, the instant messages will come pouring in. and not a single one of them will be of any consequence.
[2008-11-19]
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44.
nt/ot: when the little kitten grabs my yarn while I'm knitting, it is hillarious as hell when I send her off the couch and into the empty bowl of chicken chowder.
[2008-11-18]
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45.
don't be surprised when you accidentally scare your folks by cranking up the volume on your headphones after forgetting you'd lowered the volume to sleep.
[2008-11-13]
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46.
The moment you manage to get your settings just right for the radio station you're streaming in the background, is the precise moment that windows internet exploiter will spectacularly crash.
[2008-11-06]
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47.
When you're ill, do not take it out on me. Do not insult my intelligence, and tell me to stop breaking your computer when I'm restarting it because you're too farking stupid to do so.
idiot.
[2008-10-06]
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48.
do not ask me to reboot the router. if you're such a networking/computer deity, do it yourself! (needless to say, this idiot lost his place in the i.t group at his workplace for terminal stupidity. and I KNOW I had something to do with it.)
[2008-10-01]
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49.
When I am clutching a cup of coffee mixed with cocoa powder and swimming in half-and-half, and fighting to get your aged dicreped hell computer to complete the booting process, do not, and I repeat, do not walk behind me and casually say "and the laser printer is out of toner, so when you get a sec..." because I will turn around and not be terribly polite when you say this. It's not my job to put in toner, and you've admitted it. your printout of the sappy poetry of the day email can wait. That is all.
[2008-09-14]
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50.
when you have been told by both myself and the sysop not to touch the computer, please don't do it. that rules applies to you, whether you think you're helping the situation or not!
[2008-09-12]
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51.
tooncomics.com are the folks on my list. it's taking for-frakking-ever to get their crap off my box. sigh.
[2008-09-07]
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Customer Types
1.
Compulsively neat and tidy
This is the specimen that will compulsively rearrange, shuffle and break things. And when asked why, they will swear up, down, left and right that they're not doing anything.
Look, you festering pile of rarified gas, I'm not stupid. And put my bootable linux cd down!
And it's not funny that you then reach over my shoulders and start randomly punching buttons on your keyboard. I know it's yours, but I'm trying to fix it.
Do you want it fixed, or do you want it delivered back to you via your kitchen window? I thought not.
Now, I'm going to go destress.
[2011-06-03]
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2.
the goosedown pillow
This dingbat will do something like stand in line behind someone in a wheelchair and bark out "this is taking too much time! I could be doing other things!" When the gift card the person is using doesn't want to go through and it takes a minute or two for a supervisor to browbeat it into submission. Bonus points for a shorter line not being more than thirty steps away, even more bonus points if the person has half the amount of items he does and he's bitching about the disabled in general.
So named for the fact that they look all sweet and innocent, like a fluffy pillow,but have hidden prickles all over them, bad habbits poking through the silky exterior, like a pillow with a few of the feathers coming out.
[2009-11-13]
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3.
The helpful neighbour
Meets you only once, yet invites you in for a friendly chat and lends you some milk and butter until you can next get to the grocery store. characterised by helpful manner, a lack of a computer, (but is tech savvy) and a nonreluctance to give you a hand. Thanks, Stephanie!
[2009-08-19]
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Co-Worker Types
1.
The mule
This person refuses to do what they are asked. No matter how big are small, the polite request is met with opposition and namecalling. this also goes for troubleshooting steps, follow-up notes in the tickets, or letting us know when letting us know they will be out on a certain day. This person is also somewhat known for sleeping at the keyboard, causing thre hours of dead air, and hanging up on a manger when he or she calls to check on them.
[2011-08-11]
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2.
The Katfish
This can also be a customer type. Resembling a pencil-tipped eel with its spines, it will roll about the office, swiping anything and everything that is clearly yours, even when marked with a UV inkpen. And just as in the game Katamari, as the fish grows larger read: bolder, the larger objects it will attempt to pick up. The best advice the game wardens at this time can provide is kill on sight and do not allow to grow beyond swiping the occasional paperclip, staple or snack-sized candy bar. This message was brought to you by the Texas dept. of health and human resources. Have a nice day.
[2009-07-16]
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3.
The lollygagger
Never listens to suggestions, takes two weeks to do something that my other coworker could have done in maybe two hours, tops, and when you even think about asking him if he can help, you get banished off to another room and the comp in question is, if seen again, either in pieces, or if it's a customer's computer, it's done, but not to their specs, with multiple programs that no one knows what they are, what they do or why they're on the system, and the idiot can't even understand the words "no, $idiot, let me handle this". Likes to degrade you for your lack of expertese in fields that he claims to have worked in, but when you ask him specific questions, will dance and bluster around the issue like a hurricane at a disco. I've got stories out the ears about this guy, and I've been waiting until now to post them. And now, dear TSCers, you will hear the juicy tales of dan the bumbling tornado.
[2009-03-03]
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Customer E-mails
EUPOTD (End User Phrase of the Day)
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1.
A me POTD, while talking to my cousin about ice cream.
Her: I like chocolate ice cream better than coffee.
Me, (sorting albums into folders) meaning to type: "We are the fallen",) Out loud: "I like the ones with chunks of cookie dough."
Typed into the rename dialogue: "We are the chunky".
I didn't notice until I pressed enter on the folder to cut and paste the album in. It now lives on in infamy.
[2011-06-02]
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2.
If I get a new battery for my netbook, will my data still be on there?
[2010-11-24]
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3.
me: why can't I clicker train my computer illiterate friends?
[2010-10-25]
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4.
teacher: (to a group of half men, half women) "put your hands right there, we want to make sure you stay firm and extended for as long as possible".
[2010-04-13]
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5.
student: can I put "lol" in my papers and on worksheets?
[2010-03-26]
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6.
MePOTD, whilst navigating in the stairwell and nearly going into understair storage, where it's nearly pitch-black. "it is very dark. you are likely to be eaten by a grue."
[2010-01-27]
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7.
neighbour: I don't want to pay for a commercial piece of monitoring and blocking software. can't you write one for me? me: (deadpan) how much you willing to pay? her: we're not made of money. Me: then going commercial is way cheaper than having it custom-built. her: but we'll help you in return.... me: but I don't know enough programming. her: that doesn't matter, just do it for free!
[2010-01-16]
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8.
In the smack middle of dead silence during the preacher's closing prayer.... "and now as we go our separate..." guy's cell phone rings "I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world a cold beer in my hand" guy. oh shit!" congregation two rows in front and behind start giggling. Did I mention this was on full volume, in a nearly silent church? BFEG
[2009-12-24]
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9.
friend POTD: "$deity must've invented tranquiliser darts for the simple reason so that network admins could get dates."
[2009-10-12]
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10.
LandLady POTD: me. if Jane P. Starfish walks into this office and asks if I'm here and my apt number, you won't give it out, right? Her: no, I won't give it out. I tell them that under HIPPA, I can't do so. they normally go away confused, and I like them confused. it keeps them from doing stupid things like bringing evicted people back onto this property.
[2009-08-04]
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11.
"the colour cartridge is more expensive than the black and white one"
[2009-07-07]
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12.
This one is posted for my friend: Lady. is there a base in Houston? Her. possibly, let me check. Her. yes. Woman. what street is it on and do they have a commissary (sp?) her. I'm sure they do. Her. isn't Ft. Sam Houston in Houston, tx? My friend, Noooooooo, it's in San Antonio. Woman: it has to be in Houston, the name says so!
[2009-07-01]
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13.
$programmer: am I lucky enough to get your phone number? Me: Judging by your actions the last time you had contact information for me of a personal nature, I am not convinced that you possess the psychological, hormonal or mental maturity to handle such information. him. But I can program! me: that may be, but your maturity is inversely proportional to your maturity. kthxbye!
[2009-06-09]
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14.
as seen in the family cookbook that's been passed down for a good long while: "idiot's chicken." me: no no no no, it's not "idiot" it's "id10t's chicken. perfect for idiots everywhere!"
[2009-05-13]
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15.
my friend, while looking for the tin foil to wrap the cheese biscuits in: dammit, where's the tinfoil? me: whoops, dammit, I used it to make a hat out of, the black helicopters are coming! Her: smack! dies laughing.
[2009-02-12]
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16.
as seen on the packaging for a printer cartridge. in big black letters. do not drink.
[2008-10-28]
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17.
PC world quote of the day: "uac is about as useful as having my tv ask me if I'm sure I want to change channels!"
[2008-10-06]
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18.
In reference to a partially corrupted cf card. "Will it transfer viruses?" (jaw drops)
[2008-09-23]
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19.
while we're trying to log in to our laptops. "When you're done computing" O.o
[2008-09-23]
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20.
me. ok, close out $program since we're just going to copy and paste. open the drive where you saved the document. braillist. oh no no no, that's too complicated. that's way to technical. me: ...
[2008-09-12]
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