Tech Stories

1. Yeaaa Christmas!!! Just 'cause no one in my family bought any new tech this Christmas. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Good for you! -ecoli Son got an Xbox for Christmas...and all I had to do was help snake the cables to connect it to the TV. -Starfury Congrats! -Grue

2. Twinkies aren't going to survive the apo Hostess Brands shuts down. 18,000 out of work, and Twinkies, Cup Cakes, Dolly Madison, Natures Pride, and even Wonder Bread are going to go away for a while. http://money.cnn.com/2012/11/16/news/companies/hostess-closing/index.html?hpt=hp_t2 [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments 20 years from now, kids will watch Zombieland and have no idea what Talahassee is ranting about. -AmazingKreskin stocked up on a three boxes yesterday. In six months should be able to sell them for atleast $200 a box :P. -deedadee DAMNIT!! now all we'll have to survive on is cockroaches... -Harm Mrh. I could care less about twinkies. But IIRC, they make the raspberry snowballs which are going away. That is sad. -DarkRookie least i still have my Pepsi and Joe Louie! -Harm I've been watching this for a couple of weeks, and swore they'd get it together. I heard the news at 6 am, was at the store and stripping it. There was another lady there doing the same thing. Thank god she was going for snowballs and zingers, and I was going for cup-cakes and ding-dongs. It could have got ugly. Oh, anyone want a box of ding-dongs? Bidding starts at $25 ;-( -AngrySup I've been watching this for a couple of weeks, and swore they'd get it together. I heard the news at 6 am, was at the store and stripping it. There was another lady there doing the same thing. Thank god she was going for snowballs and zingers, and I was going for cup-cakes and ding-dongs. It could have got ugly. Oh, anyone want a box of ding-dongs? Bidding starts at $25 ;-( -AngrySup Just checked Ebay: it's begun: http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_trksid=p5197.m570.l1313&_nkw=twinkie&_sacat=0&_from=R40 -unrenowned The Wonder/Hostess outlet store near here was cleaned-out of everything by 0920 today. -Grue Maybe they'll be bought up by Entemann's and start producing food that's EDIBLE. -MeanDean If you live near the Mexican border you will still be able to get Twinkies, Cupcakes and Wonder Bread, since thay are made here by Bimbo, which is the largest bread company in Latinamerica and one of the largest in all the world. You can place your orders with me if you don't live near the border. -buitre If you live near the other border, you can also get them simply by heading north. Twinkies and many other snacks have been licensed in Canada to Saputo, and a Toronto bakery has the rights to Wonder Bread, and neither of them are about to stop production. -chazz

3. NT/OT Altered States self-portraits. Artist Takes Every Drug Known to Man, Draws Self Portraits After Each Use. http://cultso.com/artist-takes-every-drug-known-to-man-draws-self-portraits-after-each-use/ Hey, I resemble some of those... [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments If I was going through life looking like Michael O'Donohue I'd take lots of drugs too. -MeanDean Here's my daily intake: 30-50 mg. of hydrocodone (Norco) for chronic back pain, 1 mg. Risperidone ("atypical antipsychotic"), 20 mg. Celexa (SSRI antidepressant), and .5 to 1.5 mg. Atavan (anti-anxiety; .5 mg. nightly, extra in case of panic attacks during the day). >>>>> Personally, fuck this "artist." I eat all the pills I do because I need to, not for fun. I'm not sure why he's pissing me off so much, but he is. -MeanDean

4. I, myself, welcome my zombie overlords. God knows I can't afford a zombie proof residence. http://realestate.yahoo.com/news/anti-zombie-strongholds-for-sale.html [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments The Miami island "castle" is appraised at just under $2.3 Mil, but they are asking $10.9 Mil. I bet they would sell it for less than $1.5 Mil. -Griffin2020

5. Dallas Texas, the Day After Tomorrow I'd swear I'm watching a movie. Hunker down boys, I used to have a site in Plano, so I know the drill. Good luck and wishes to all. Now, once the storm has passed, I also feel for the "My internet doesn't work", "Is the power out in your area?", "Yeah, but I've got WIRELESS". Hang tight, storms are quick, starfish last forever. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Anyone remember this: "RRRRRR!!!" "WHAT'S GOING ON THERE? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" CRACKSMASHRUMBLE "IMSORRYSIRIHAVETOHANGUPANDGETTOSHELTER!"FIX! MY! PROBLEM! NOOOOOOWWWW!!!" "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" HIIIISSSSCRACKLE <CLICK> "Hello? Hello?! HEL-LO!! Damn lazy techs..." -MadJack

6. I, for one, welcome... Another step in the evolution of our Machine society. http://www.reghardware.com/2011/10/26/man_builds_smartphone_dock_into_arm/ . side notes; I'm surprised Apple didn't grab & patent it, I wonder how good the neural interface is ;-? [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments apple will patent it once severa; other manufacturers have already used it for years... -Harm Now that is how its done. Got a fake limb HAVE FUN WITH IT! I ever lose a leg, drinks are always on me...or in me. Just tap the hollow leg, rum only. -GargoyleTS eh, they stole it from Star Trek. -Captain Trips Great place to store a secondary battery as well. Bye bye short battery life and recharging during the day... -Griffin2020 Leela from Futurama? -Divinar

7. NT/OT/ehh.... Darwin? Troubled tech Amy W. dead at 27. http://news.yahoo.com/troubled-diva-amy-winehouse-dead-27-192027301.html [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments I was shocked that she was only 27, I always thought she was like 45 at least. -AmazingKreskin I'm with AmazingKreskin; I didn't realize she was MY AGE. -Seamyst Maybe she should have went to rehab. But she said Noooo,no no. ;) -Necros Frankly I'm amazed she lasted this long. -Gromit Cocaine. Nature's way of telling you that you have too much money. -Wraith556 surprised? anyone? anyone? talented yes - but given her well recorded exploits, pretty much enevitable. -Harm @Harm...I don't know about that...Jerry Garcia was more of a partier than she was, and diabetic to boot. -CTYankee

8. NT/OT. Clarence Clemons, Rest in Peace Bet he's getting a new sax instead of a harp. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110619/ap_en_mu/us_obit_clarence_clemons;_ylt=Al8EMHmwUqoDANrx0WQE6QhxFb8C;_ylu=X3oDMTJwZWMxbHFoBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTEwNjE5L3VzX29iaXRfY2xhcmVuY2VfY2xlbW9ucwRjcG9zAzEEcG9zAzIEc2VjA3luX3RvcF9zdG9yeQRzbGsDZXN0cmVldGJhbmRz [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments The E Street Band should just hang it up now. They might be able to get someone who can play the way The Big Man played, but they'll never find one who could have invented it. -Divinar I disagree - they'll never find someone who blows a horn like Clarence did! -Captain Trips

9. Ode to Spot /Data, STTNGT The Data Cat Rap. <hee...> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiRjywbypLA&feature=player_embedded [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Well, it is better than "Ode to a lump of green putty I found in my naval one morning." -Captain Trips every time i see "ode" i think of a "born loser" cartoon where he tried to write a "ode to an orange"...then gave up and wrote "ode to a pear" instead...because there are no words that rhyme with "orange"! there was also a "B.C." cartoon where someone couldn't come up with a rhyme for "purple" so he used "green" for his poem. -Erictheblue

10. NT/OT Rapture Flowchart Since we're all going tomorrow, I figured I'd post this to help you figure out where you stand. http://peasandcougars.wordpress.com/2011/05/19/will-you-be-raptured-flowchart/ [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Saw that the other day. No way to win on that. -DarkRookie A slight correction on the "have you ever eaten..." decision box: Camel IS kosher -- camels are cloven hooved and do chew of their cud. (Trust me - the kosher dietary laws were part of the torah portion I read for my bar mitzvah.) Pork, shellfish, reptiles, rodents, all belong on there - but not camel. -Captain Trips I like this guys take on everything: http://www.stonekettle.com/2011/05/ten-reasons-doomsday-will-be-awesome.html (Rapture balloons... gotta get me one of those) -virtualchoirboy We're ALL doomed! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! (And, technically, they got it wrong. Modern society recognizes Sunday, but Sunday is the FIRST day of the week, and Saturday is the 7th day. So, that rules out Sunday worshippers. So, by my reckoning, there's gonna be a lotta disappointed hardcore true believers when it's only Jews, Seventh Day Adventists, & Seventh Day Baptists getting picked up in chariots of clouds! Oh noes!! What will they all do then?? The chart's all WRONG!! LOLZ ;P (Now then, seriously; This ain't the first time someone's believed the 2nd Coming of Christ was imminent, to the point they could name a day/date (let alone a time). Hell, Mayan predictions (to say nothing of Nostradamus) say the end of the world isn't until 2012! Puh-leeeze!! I may not be a practicing churchgoer; but I hold to the core beliefs I was brought up with as an SDA. Forget the dross & crap, just the basics. As to the 2nd Coming, No one knows the day or the hour when Jesus will return; and no one will be alive on this planet afterward. He'll be back when the Father's work is done, & not one moment later. I don't know what *facts* they used to arrive at the theory that tomorrow's the day the world comes to an end; but what fishiness. Or, as Nero Wolfe would say, "Utter asininity." "Give. Unto. Me. A. Break!" </Archie McNally> -MadJack (Sorry, gang; had to get that last bit off my chest. This whole thing is ridiculous. But, 'annit fun poking fun at all the hyped-up who actually believe tomorrow's the end? I heard about the CDC's Zombie page on the 10:00 news last night & just hadda rofl! -MadJack "Well me and the Lord, we have an understanding" J. Blues. -AngrySup The 2011 Rapture: "This time for sure!"&tm; -linuxmatt Have they given a specific time and time zone this is supposed to start in? -Stryker One every year, for as long as i can remember, someone has been predicting the end of the world on December 31...every year! -Erictheblue Stryker - I heard 6 pm. Where ever you are, six in the evening. The rapture seems to understand time zones. (Let's see, is it tomorrow night across the date line yet?) -Captain Trips It's 2:30 am PDT Saturday morning, & the only local chaos is the usual Friday night shenanigans in downtown Sandy Eggo; nothin' on the CNN website about disasters happening in NZ/AUS; they're 18 hours ahead of us here. Updates from down under, anyone? ;) -MadJack Oh, and I can't believe nobody's posted this b4 now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY -MadJack

11. 56 fruits, roots, and herbs; 70 proof As the Genius of many of my late night upgrades, Günter Mast, creator of Jägermeister has past away. Please pay your respects appropriately. http://www.thelocal.de/society/20110306-33531.html [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments like hell i'm gonna pour any on the floor... but i will toast! -Harm pour away- all that shites good for is floor cleaner -HappyCrappy Tastes like cough medicine to me. -lineswine

12. OT/NT Unicorn Meat The US National Pork Board bans Unicorn Meat. <msnbc> In a public apology this week, ThinkGeek said its nonexistent canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red and not approved by any government entity. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37854432/ns/business-consumer_news/ . On the other hand, ThinkGeek still has it up for $9.99. The new white meat. http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/unicorn-meat.shtml [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments I think TA wrote something about this a couple of days ago. -DarkRookie Do YOU like to scream "I'll SUE!" at the slightest provocation? Are you that 80+ bint who sued McD's for spilling coffee on yourself? Do you own a corporation, or are you the legal department for one? Then a C&D order is the new black! ... C&D orders. "I'll SUE!" for the new millennium. -Seamus actually I don't get how it's copy-write infringment since it's clearly fair-use. but If you don't defend your copywrite you lose it. -drachen Seamus -- 1) She wasn't 80, she was more like 50. 2) She didn't sue McD's because she spilled coffee on herself, she sued because they had it too hot for human safety, they had been cited on this in the past, they had been under court order to lower the temperature to 165 F (from 185-190) and failed to comply, and they basically laughed at her when she filed a proper complaint form with the company. She sued because of how they violated court orders and were totally unsympathetic to her issue. (Pet peeve of mine -- too many people use that as an example of "litiginous society" without knowing all the facts.) -Captain Trips Bad example, but the point remains. The 1990's were so sue-happy that that case got caught up in the maelstrom. Point is, the C&D has become the MCSE of legal action. -Seamus Yup, the reason she sued was the third degree burns she got on her lap. Originally she requested only enough to cover medical costs, then the lawyers got involved, and they raised the ruequest to 600k Mcdonalds offered to settle for 300k but it still went to trial. End result: the JURY raised it and addeded a punitive award because of the run around they gave her. The jury basically decided that the loss of two days worth of coffee sales was sufficient punishment. However, the judge later reduced the award to 640k. -McSmiley http://www.lectlaw.com/files/cur78.htm - more reading on the McDonalds Hot Coffee lawsuit (with actual numbers). -BayouTech afterall, 640k ought to be enough for anybody. -boxcar

13. To fun to pass up (el Reg) However, as one Polish web site notes: "Po zredagowanym SMSie taką kiełbaskę można zjeść i przyjemność z korzystania z telefonu jest jeszcze większa." Roughly translated, this insightful analysis reads: "Once you've edited an SMS, having a sausage you can eat makes the pleasure of using a mobile phone even greater." http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/02/12/korean_sausage_stylus/ [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments the guy standing also looks like he could be "navigating with sausage" -stiffarm

14. Business Week - Erk, we're not there yet Sorry for the lack of formatting. First, read through the article. http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/107602/12-words-you-can-never-say-in-the-office.html I've got issues. 1 & 2, I've got intra-, extra-, vpn, and general web access (differences are crucial). 3 OK. kill it. 4 This is why your iPhone idiots can't get their email like on their blackberry. 5 Well, that's kind of what my company aspires to. 6 kill it. it's either a blackberry or an iphone. 7 Voip. yahh, but tell me, are you on a land-line so we don't get disconnected when we re-boot your modem? 8 Blogs. Suck, but they're out there. 9 Thin clients - still gots to have 'em. We're not that fast yet. 10 RBOC should be referred to as the LEC. And yes, they're still critical. 11 is interesting, I'm on Avaya IP Softphone coming into my local hardphone. My service doesn't allow long-distance calls, so there's still some validity here. 12 Uhh yeah. but still you have to distinguish between the real world and the make believe world somewhere out there (I'll leave it to you to determine which is which :-) [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments i think this article would be better in teen week rather than business week. most of the terms are still extremely valid in the business world. take local vs. long distance phone calls. we have 3 T1's (72 channels) of voice. when we get our bill local and regional toll and long distance are billed separate. in the business world there are no unlimited plans. those are home services. -gashach 11 is still false for those areas of the USA that have local toll calls and/or party lines. (Yes they are still in use)My aunt still gets her home phone split into local, local toll and long distance. -PolarCoyote "11. Long-Distance Call" that entire paragraph is absolute rubbish. "imilarly, you don't need to distinguish between terrestrial and wireless calls because so many people use only wireless services." Uh, WRONG! <sigh> Please, don't get me started on this. Pass the $alcoholicbeverage... -rosemetal International calls were not even mentioned. Odd, considering the global nature of business today. -Stryker One So... RSS is a push technology now? I guess someone should tell Outlook that it doesn't have to send/receive the RSS feeds now - they'll just get pushed down. Farkwits. -ElPolloDiablo Quite frankly, that article is a load of BS. I work for a company that is genuinely on the bleeding edge of technology, and we have an Intranet and an official blog. Okay, they're trying to outsource the main functions that the intranet supported, but the rest of it we just call a LAN. -Chromatix Well, what did you expect. it's buisnessweek, it's not like a financial paper would ever get too stuck on buzz words /casm>. I think a few of those are dead, like Infobahn, and world wide web, but then alot of those are so specific that they would really never come up. Who the hell is going to start rambling about Reigonal bell? Also, everyone has different names for everything. Where I am, we call "cloud computing", "Server-side". I guess my problem is that most of those words were never widely used anyway, but when you do use them, it's because you're specifically reffering to a speciffic thing, not just something similar. -PeterGibons Argh. 4 - couldn't do my job without referring to push because I work with specialized financial services that do in fact push updates out (news and thousands of stock/commodity quotes out every second over dedicated circuits). 10 - RBOCs and ILECs - they had these terms because they were monopolies. Guess what? For all intents and purposes, they still are. (you just get to include the cable companies in with them too) -SirJosh I stopped at #1. I still use "Intranet" (to refer to out internal websites used by employees) and "VPN" to refer to connecting to our internal network from outside. This author is a moron. -BarmanVarn Oh, and must I point out that most of the 12 "words" are actually phrases? Geez, the joker can't even count. -BarmanVarn My PDA is not a phone. And my cell phone is not a PDA. And, for me, never the twain shall meet. (Why? Because I hate cell phones with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. The phrase "digital quality" should be banned from speech, since the digital compression used on cell phone communications reduces the sound quality to something somewhat less than that of 2 tin cans and a string. What, me ramble?) -rdwells Oh, so that's what RBOC stands for. Here all this time I thought it was Really Bad Obstructive Company. -concept14 Well, yeah, you can't use those terms if you wanna get a job in today's market! You need the updated buzzwords for HR/corporate drones! -evolvedstarfish

15. Sys Admin Day! Please, please, please, give me these, these, these....http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2009/07/31/review_travel_gadgets_roundup/ [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments I did not see any sharp pointed sticks in that list. -CyBear Last item in the list: the Swiss Army USB key with torch, scissors, nail file, screwdriver, and penknife. Not as long as a pointed stick, but certainly usefully sharp and can be used to _make_ pointed sticks if necessary. -chazz The sys admins here deserve a kick in the behind and not much more. Considering the overall stupid things they've forced on the users here it's all they'd get from me. -Starfury Nothing is more dangerous than a banana! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piWCBOsJr-w -Biosynthetic But what will you do when a man attacks you armed with a bunch of loganberries?!! -ApolloSZ

16. You can run, but you can't hide El Reg...[An] Indian citizen..was extradited from Hong Kong to the US on June 20 where he faces charges of hacking. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/07/08/zombie_tool_charges/ [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Better idea=Death of a Thousand Cuts with a mild acid bath after each cut. -atomicbill I personally prefer the execution method of "Breaking On The Wheel". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breaking_on_the_wheel Slow, painful, and with that "personal" touch. Now where's the hammer? -Wraith556 People! Where's your sense of fair play? Sentence him to handling the help desk calls from all of the ding-bats that have got themselves well infected by browsing dark sewers without updated protection. -TieDyedDinosaur @TDD-sad to say I'm pretty sure that would be unconstitutional, as I know it's 'cruel and unusual'... -cyberblade3001

17. "To Davy Jones' locker wit' thee..." Don't really knows what this means to me matey, but... http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/06/30/pirate_bay_next_stop/ [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments What, the guy from the Monkees? What does his locker have to do with anything? </oblivious pirate> -docbrown01 America...you can keep him - he's an awful singer. -lineswine

18. And Now, Your XBox & PS Too! In reference to the recent keyboard items (http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=79487), they seemed to have missed the gaming crowd. Well, they've got that covered also. http://www.shinyshiny.tv/2007/05/get_it_on_while.html [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments See... This isn't right, simply because what happens if one of those players is the kind that likes to punch the controller? I'd rather not, thank you very much... -exzyle2k I can here the TS call now: "Is liquid damage covered under warranty??" -unrenowned oh, damn, that is sooo wrong.... -rosemetal You've seen how some people handle their gaming controllers. Do you really want that same kind of handling with your male/female junk? -srteach Could be worse, it could have been for the Wii -PID1 Just don't have the Divinyls "I Touch Myself" on during solo play - "Honestly honey, I wasn't wearing your underwear, I just got mixed up with the game controller!" - Õ.ô -AussieFoot That would be this: http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/superpiipii.html -McSmiley That was a good april fool's joke... But this one wasn't funny http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/squeez-bacon.html I was hoping it was real... -unrenowned

19. Should be the LOtD But I lost my star. The Web site is DOWN!!! http://www.thewebsiteisdown.com/ [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments btw, could be nsfw, depends on your environment. -AngrySup OK it's the LotD. Better than Badgers imo -OgdenTechGuy omg, i love this shit. -putahtek oh FFS. We've seen this a bazillion times! -Caboose447

20. NTOT - Good to know I'm doing good. Smokers die early, and they've quantified how much we really cost (give back) It's good to know that my habits are saving the US 32 cents each day. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090407/ap_on_he_me/fact_check_fda_tobacco [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments "those early deaths provide a savings to healthcare." Gah! What is it with you yanks and your habit of pluralising singulars? Being preceded by an a denotes that you should use the SINGULAR instance of the word, NOT THE PLURAL! -flapjackboy well said, FJB - those yanks should really learn to do math ;) -Shaede That's another one! It's mathematicS not mathematic therefore, the shorthand is mathS, not math. -flapjackboy i r litrit -ThinTheHerd * lights smoke... DRRRRAAAAAAAAGGG* saving the economy, one potential tumer at a time. -Harm I want someone should learn me how to talk gooder english. -atomicbill Maths is a contracted form of Mathematics. Math is a cutoff version of Mathematics. We just dropped the "." off pretty early on. -adarklite Let just call it arithmetic and call the whole thing off. -raneshem All the more reason to make all drugs and suicide legal. There! Does that sentence make the grammar elitist happy? -Stryker One smoke all you like, just don't fuck up the air I breathe </kid who lived through the 60's & 70's whilst suffering from Bronchitis>. On the subject of English (as butchered by colonials) "party" is not a fucking verb! -lineswine

21. Interesting Accessories So, I'm looking around for a netbook, and I've pretty much decided on the HP Mini 1000. Me, I'm going with the black one. But it looks like the primary market has developed into this one http://www.shopping.hp.com/webapp/shopping/computer_can_series.do?storeName=computer_store&category=notebooks&a1=Category&v1=Mini&series_name=mini1000vt_series . So now I'm looking for stuff to go with it. I checked out Amazon for a case, and found this (scroll to the bottom). http://www.amazon.com/Mini-Netbook-Color-Available-Black/dp/B001PI9CC8/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1234036023&sr=8-6 Where's that girl from El Reg when you need her? [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments I too now am looking at getting one of these! -Caboose447 I am looking at getting a netbook. I think my choices are narrowed down to either the HP or a Dell. -ProfessorFrink Don't forget to take a look at the Samsung NC10, too. I bought mine for the same price as my boss's HP Mini 1000, with double the battery life, double the hdd size, built-in bluetooth, and a matte LCD. Having set them both side-by-side, I prefer my Sammy. Don't let the crappy marketing pics fool you, it's a really nice looking netbook. -meglet What? No Linux? -ThinTheHerd It's FABULOUS! -Stryker One Hmmmmm, time for a netbook thread in the forums? (s/b 'fora', but I don't wanna be TOO much of a grammar n**i <grin>) -CTYankee might want to check out the HP Consumer forums, there's been a few people with issues concerning them, power cord not fitting right, and some other concerns...just compare with other user forums for any other model you are considering. -frprinterwiz

22. We've got a voicemail box? So, after spending (wasting) numerous hours setting up some specialty call routing for some of our high-end customers, I get the following requests, one after the other: The people who are supposed to be handling this queue aren't logging in. We need to re-route these calls to another number. I just realized we have a voice mail box, do you know the extension and password? You bet. I'll see what I can do as we roll into the new year (BEG). [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Now did you actually state _which_ New Year? There'll be 2009, and 2010, and 2011... -Voz

23. 'Nuff Said Boobies http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/23/iboobs/ sfw [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Boobies and safe-for-work? I'm thinking there something a bit off there. -Chipsterian This is an in-depth article on Apple's iPhone app store censorship as it relates to possible previous infringement /cough. If you hit Play on the UTube clip, I can't help that. -AngrySup Maybe they'll reinstate it if they insert a shiny red light in the middle of her cleavage and add the note I AM RICH on the bottom.... -vacuumtubes Sort of like the Nissan commercial for 'Independent Front Suspension'. -TieDyedDinosaur

24. Rest in Peace - My nurse, my computer... Christine Chapel, RN, PhD, MD and the voice of the first computer that I ever fell in love with. Rest in peace, Majel Barrett-Rodenberry. http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Majel_Barrett [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Ahh...man...how am I going to tell my Mom that Lwaxana died on her birthday? :-( -SillyGirl according to IMDB, she is credited as the voice of the Enterprise computer in the upcoming movie this May. it wouldnt be right any other way. -r3dn3x0r (*SIGH!*) How many of the original starring cast are still around, then? -ShujinTribble Of the original cast, she's the third. Everyone but her, Scotty, and Bones are still around. -MadJack I don't know, I think Shatner died with the premier of T.J.Hooker -- or at least jumped the shark! -Captain Trips And though I hate to say it, Nimoy with the first mini-van commercials. -AngrySup His career sure as hell did. (Not that that's a bad thing...) -MadJack Don't you mean The daughter of the Fifth house, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed? -ProfessorFrink

25. Drunken mouse and it's user There's a whole story behind it somewheres, but in the process, I sloshed my mouse with Kahlua (Esp. 70pf). I DONNNNT WANNNT A NEWWW..-Tink-Thud- [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story

26. Holiday Boredom So, two months ago, I get asked for a forecast and recomendation for staffing on Labor Day. Being a Sales center, I showed them that it would be pointless to open. A month ago, I confirmed that we were going to be closed. Two weeks ago, I confirmed that we were going to be closed Late last week I get told we're going to be open, and I (Operations) had to come in to buy lunch. Oh well, comp day for me, and I just turned the Agents loose with my corperate card for lunch. I told them to not bother clocking out since we're only open 8:00 to 4:00, and I want them to get a full 8 hours. And you see why I'm not management? [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Corporate card for lunch? There'd better be some gourmet pizza and some Stella Artois involved ;) -rosemetal In most companies, you're allowed to advance to management with either your brain or your spine, but not both. Having neither is preferable. -linkv Doesn't advancement to manglement involve either a soulectomy or an ethicectomy? -PCRaevyn

27. Karma past to others... I got great news today! I can go remote as soon as we (big corp) work out the details! I call my Mom to tell her I'm coming home. She's excited, but (forgive me, it's true), her cat got her canary. She loved that bird. I call the girl at home that I really want to spend time with, and she just got laid off. She was in an office that helped poor people buy homes. I call my drinking buddy back home, and he (17 years unix/tandem admin at one co.) just got laid off with what I'm sure is a faire package. Everyone's good. Good back ground, kick ass skills, But I'm hoping for a little Karma, to add to mine, to pass along. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Uhm... congrats and sorry? Geeze? What kinda Karma goes with THIS story? -ShujinTribble Past, Passed, give me a little break. -AngrySup Your girlfriend caused the mortgage crisis? -Stryker One

28. Comedy or Tragedy, let the forum decide! It looks like WalMart is backing out of the Linux strategy. You decide... "...,but the consumer space is different, as gOS discovered when Wal-Mart blamed poor demand from baseball caps and mullets for its decision to stop selling Linux-loaded PCs." http://www.channelregister.co.uk/2008/08/09/gos_linux_desktop/ [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments There's only one thing worse than a starfish in windows. A starfish on Linux. That's my 2 bits. -formatCdrive WalMart is still doing their version of DorqueSquad, though. That's bad enough. -Seamus 'coz dey cant get their "Gator" to work on it! -Wraith556 Hey, man! I can't git mah spreadsheet up on this thing! How'm I gonna know how m' meth lab's doing without mah spreadsheet? -vacuumtubes I live El Reg, but sometimes their stories are just empty ramblings. Why was Wal-Mart mentioned in the teaser, and then never mentioned again? Was that a quote or a joke? -BarmanVarn Edit: I "love" El Reg (tho it seems I also live it sometimes as well) -BarmanVarn

29. IBM's Power7 to fuel 40,000 chip Monster "We've got documents showing IBM going after a 10 peraflop system (peak) compromised of 38,900 eight-core Power7 chips with each chip running at 4.0GHz. This monster will have an astonishing 620TB of memory and 5PB/s of memory bandwidth." /el-reg http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/07/11/ibm_power7_ncsa/ Reminds me of a post I made a couple of years ago concerning a 1.2 TB backpane. Now what do you think the users are going do with this Monster? (not really SFW) http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2892656504659188535&q=internet+porn+WoW&ei=_854SIuuEJHk4AKr_bmlCw&hl=en [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments All that hardware...and yet...it still won't run Vista...sad really. :P -RamenMcTavish I didn't see.. what os WILL it be running? -ShujinTribble lmao ramen, I could see it now its gonna take 5 hours just to load the system files for vista -Gingy If you used DSL or Puppy Linux on it, would it be so fast that it could actually pre-determine your keystrokes? -billybien Dual-boot DSL and Windows 3.1! (lol what would windows 3.1 do on something that fast?) -linuxmatt Matt: crash faster? -unrenowned We want you to work out...the answer. The answer to life, the universe, everything! -modeski Run MSDOS 6 and some stable apps? -Mushroom 42! -unrenowned But what's the question ? -AngrySup 'How many times have the question and the answer both been known?' -Rissa "...same thing we do every night, Pinky, use this monster computer to take over the world..." -Robster2001

30. "Last, best, hope for..." - sorry I'd try to be quippy, but I'm 5 pints in on a holiday. Had the news going in the background and overheard Bush saying that about something. Ahh, That's it...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUYeLovwO-M&feature=related Shadow War anyone? {pond life please, evil invading forces don't bother with ponds, note sw episode 1} [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments too bad the quotation marks weren't on the right part of that -stiffarm

31. Into the Breach Not a story yet, but I'm about to hit the XP SP3 download. I'll let you know how I do. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Don't! Just saw a story online that the sp3 is not ready yet and the leaked versions may screwup the pc. -atomicbill atomic - do you have a link? I'm supposed to test SP3 for company tomorrow. Thanks. -PCChaos My craptop running XP may be put in front of that.. I need to reimage it anyways.. I install indiscriminately on that because I know I'll nuke it occasionally. -illiterate Atomicbill - Err, SP3 is now on the download site (see http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/windowsxp/0a5b9b10-17e3-40d9-8d3c-0077c953a761.aspx )for the stand-alone version). I've had it (as a download from Microsoft, natch!) since about the 28th last month. -ralphp1024 I got it from Windows Update. It's good. Windows is actually less crappy now. -linuxmatt I have two (Boxen and a laptop) with SP3 done over the last couple days. I agree-Muchas Improvementos! -jerrybear Installed it yesterday on my main work box. Went smooth, and this is being typed on it. I don't see much of a difference yet, but this was a well-behaved box beforehand. -CTYankee I haven't had any probs w/ it either. It's mostly behind the scenes stuff. -BarmanVarn Good to know that it IS working. Its sitting in my queue at home waiting to be downloaded. I was going to check in with you guys today on it. -silvermoon More about it in the forum: http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?t=8568 -TheGhost Question: Does SP3 automatically install IE7? I ask because here at $govt_agency, IE7 has not been approved for use. -Grayhawk Ans: No. If you have IE7 installed, it updates it and disables the IE7 - to - IE6 backdate, for what seems to be a reasonable reason (given that M$ integrated MSIE into the OS), but if you do not have IE7, it simply updates your IE6. -chazz I had a client where SP3 wrote invalid registry entries that prevented device manager from displaying anything. Had to search for $%& in the registry and remove any keys with this text. 30 minutes per machine. -TechDaddy Pooched my system into an endless re-boot. System restore, and 5 hours later, and I'm back on line. JUST SAY NO TO SP3! -AngrySup It does appear to send a number of systems into the old "endless reboot". However, on others it actually speeds them up (possibly removing certain amounts of bloatware?) My only XP 32 bit system is a Duron 900 with 768 MB RAM and it seems to work better after SP3. All others are Win2K, XP 64, Ubuntu or Vista (one laptop only and I haven't been allowed to flatten it yet. Give me time and that OS is DEAD! In my household anyways.) -Loon This box I'm posting from has liked SP3 - esp. the WLAN. But then, I also downloaded some driver updates I had missed, so don't know if it's SP3 or drivers working better. -NordicPT

32. Happy Birthday Spam! Spam turns 30 today. The link is to an article that contains the first piece of spam sent down good'ol ARPANET. http://www.templetons.com/brad/spamreact.html#msg Some of the follow-up is hilarious. My favorite "Would a dating service for people on the net be "frowned upon" by DCA?" [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments 30 years of junk... and I'm ashamed to say that the first big Usenet spam came from a a place I used to work (long before I worked there though) -cyberblade3001 Cyber: Why am I not surprised? (g) Man, me old brethren in the SDA church are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO repressed (.5 j/k, dude!!) -MadJack well, he was trying to "help" everyone... but damn, I don't care what religion/political group/charity/etc you're from, i dont care if my not reading it makes god kill kittens by the bushel. If I didn't ask for it you're blacklisted. -cyberblade3001 Blacklisting doesn't do nuttin' except fill up the 'block' list in short order. Check 'all', uncheck ones you actually want to read, and click 'Buh-bye!' (EG). Other than that, a-men, brother. (Tho, it is fun to see what mischief we can think up to bait them with...) -MadJack

33. New From the Reg Ewww. gross. i feel soiled. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/17/vista_video_mocks_bruce/ Some things are just wrong. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Okay... that's... just.. WRONG. -spectreoflife Paging Dr. Stabby. Dr. Stabby to Redmond, Dr. Stabby to Redmond. -Seamus I feel worse now than I did after 2g1c... *sobs* -cyberblade3001 Uhgg, I couldn't even watch the whole thing. Now I think I'm gonna be sick. -Stryker One That's it.... I'm so putting that on a loop on our monitor and speaker walls... -LazyLemming Oh -RiffRaff My -RiffRaff God -RiffRaff <shivers> Gah I need a shower after watching that, i feel dirty -Armakuni My eyes are bleeding! MY EYES ARE BLEEDING! -Loon damn. its - wrong. -timelady I... watched the whole thing. Can anyone recommend a good soul scrubber? -Rissa Meh. I've always considered Springsteen to be over-rated. A 1 trick pony who growls a bit when singing, usually deliveng semi-nonsense lyrics. (For full-on nonsense lyrics, see Tori "totally upmyself" Amos) OK, the pastiche perpetrated by Micro$haft? Total pants. -lineswine Interesting... At the end of the video... for the first time since I switched to Linux... Firefox stopped responding, and I had to Force Quit... That definitely tells me something... -beerman Well, I managed NOT to watch it after reading the various responses. Thankyou to all of you who sacrificed some of your sanity for me! -TieDyedDinosaur

34. Damn dirty apes The damn dirty apes finally got him. May he rest in peace.http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/04/06/heston.dead/index.html [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Never agreed with everything he said, but damned impressed with his confidence in what he believed in. G'night, sir. -ShujinTribble "A deal's a deal Mr. Heston." *begins to pry the gun from his cold dead hands* -EtherRabbit He was also a good actor. May he rest in peace -compbrat "Let my memory GO!" "Okay, but it'll COST ya!" :D RIP, Mr. Heston. -Seamus he's gone to the great soylent factory is the sky -hobobanana "Guns don't kill people; APES on HORSEback kill People, DAMN IT TO HELL!!" (/Billy Crystal, CR8) Interesting side note: Story made p1 of SD U-T, saw he was a USAAC vet during WWII. Ten-hut! (Salutes) -MadJack http://www.shortpacked.com/comics/20080406charltonheston.png (from the webcomic Shortpacked) -Darth And what was wrong with him chairing a lobby group that protects the rights of people who are getting sick of being blamed for all of society's woes? -Wraith556 My brother has a modified saying that he likes to use. "Gun control is that grouping I shot in your chest when you tried to take my gun away." While I am not as hardcore I do have to say that gun control or registration is not going to do a damn thing about slayings whether with a gun or with a blunt or sharp object. -adarklite "Political correctness is tyranny with manners":Charlton Heston. (Salute) -drakenfly "Without God I am nothing. I am the tool by which he works his will." <the 10 commandments> -neuman1812 My president is _still_ Charlton Heston. -veaudaux So which gung-ho nutter is going to take over the NRA? Ted Nugent? Guns should be in the hands of trained, responsible adults with a modicum of mental restraint (that filters out about 90% of those who advocate 2nd amendment rights) -lineswine

35. .pdf can be GOOD ! I just got a new (boss's, boss's, boss's Boss) who seems to like me, and I just got an assignment copied to (boss's bos's, boss (excluding MY boss!) which was a single powerpoint slide. Funny thing is, he made it a .pdf so no one else could change it. Yeah, you can take a screen shot, or copy it over, but the BBBBIg guy sent it, so any changes would be caught in an instant. That's a new trick for me, and I'm shamed that I haven't thought of it before. MY WORK, DFWI! [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments I'd swear I had <p>'s in there (along w/ </p>'s. It had a better effect. -AngrySup Disregard the previous comment. I just installed NoScript and hadn't enabled TSC. Deleted the first try, and second try was beautiful. -AngrySup Been there, do that daily. Have pissed-off a few backstabbers that couldn't work-out how I do it without Acrobat loaded (personal copy of PDF995 as a print driver). -Grue DFWI? (Google says: Downtown Fort Worth Inc.) -LoTech Don't Frell With It of course! -ralphp1024

36. Hooray for a Free Press!!!! From my local snoozpaper's website "On Monday, Nov. 19, we’ll launch some changes involving reader comments on stories.The changes will: Let site users comment on a wider range of stories, especially those involving the hot topic of immigration. Let us replace the misunderstood and sometimes misused thumb’s up and thumb’s down voting on comments. How we got here: For several months we’ve been disallowing comments on most immigration-related topics due to the large number of comments that violate our guidelines. Other topics on which we’ve routinely disallowed comments include local crime, stories involving sex, and stories about local members of the Armed Forces killed in Iraq or Afghanistan. Those topics tend to prompt comments from some readers that are libelous, vulgar, otherwise inappropriate or wildly at odds with the standards of taste that readers expect from a “family newspaper.”" [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Hopefully they have the sense to moderate comments before putting them up. It helps to cut down on floods of "kil teh fukin beeners" responses, as happened on the local newspaper site around here. Besides, newspapers have NO duty to publish everything its readers send in --- imagine the size of the editorial page of, say, the SF Chronicle or the LA Times if they did. -MeanDean Not to mention that "the free press" part of the bill of rights has nothing to do with the *readers* of said free press. -missourimule Point: "Freedom of the Press" means that a publisher is free to print whatever they want to, not that they are obligated to print everything submitted. If someone doesn't like their choices of what to print, they are free to print something themselves. -Captain Trips

37. Why I Work Where I Work They beat the hell out of me every day, but at least they've got my back. ----- Original Message ----- From: /Big Boss/ To: Global Everyone (Entire Company) Sent: Mon Oct 22 /*******/ Subject: Fire update Hello everyone, As you’ve probably seen, the devastation of the Southern California brushfires is horrific. We all hope for the safe evacuation of everyone in the fire’s path and minimal damage to homes and property. The fires, which extend from Malibu to Mexico, affect many of our employees and several of our facilities. Hundreds of our colleagues and their families have been evacuated from their homes, and we hope and pray for their safety. Throughout this crisis, their health and safety remains our top priority. If you’re affected, take care of yourself and your family. Business can wait. We want you safe. On the business side, our new [so cal] office at [so cal location] will remain closed through at least Tuesday. The [other so cal] office remains open to essential personnel, and we’re monitoring the air quality there to ensure it’s healthy. Right now, there’s better news for the [business unit] and [other business unit] facilities in [so cal locations 3 & 4] and [so cal loc. 5], where the winds are pushing the smoke out to the ocean and the facilities remain open. We’re advising people to postpone travel to [so cal] this week. We don’t need to add to the congestion. What we’re doing We’ve established a [On-line resource] where our evacuated employees can register for support. In addition, if you can offer temporary shelter, you can register there as well and we’ll match people up. We’ll also look at other ways to support our people and the community as the full effect of this disaster becomes better known. We’ll continue to provide further updates on the situation in [real-time company news] as new information becomes available. In the meantime, let’s hope for a quick end to this disaster, and please support your colleagues whenever possible. Now, more than ever, is a good time to remember what makes unique. It’s the People. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Shit. lost my star. Let me work on that. -AngrySup Holy HELL! Whoever is in charge over there DESERVES the pay they're getting! -ShujinTribble believe it or not, some poor hick from a small town who found he had an aptitude for technology, business, and the way to do business. go 'figger... -AngrySup At $hitty programming limited, their response would be "Your house can burn. Non-attendance is unauthorized leave and will result in instant dismissal!" -Wraith556 Wow! Now that sounds like a good company to work for! I Hope SoCal gets some Rain! Let the rain dance commence! -Wisper1 We used to take bets whether we would be having Thanksgiving Dinner in a Fire Camp in Southern California. As a side note, I had Fire Camp Thanksgiving 4 years in a row, back in the early 1990's. That country just burns at this time of year. Poor folks. -CyBear Integrity without compromise. That's why I work there also! -MacDaddy You can have some of the rain that keeps dumping on my head. Guess there is manglement out there that actually does care. -udaduno If your company policy allows it, purchase a drink for that boss... Purchase a whole fleet of drinks for that boss... -elcapitane **pushes some of the Florida rain over there..** Here, have some of this. I'm getting sick of driving in it. -TechieSidhe Look after this one, he's a keeper. -lineswine Our San Diego office is closed due to the fires but most of the staff can work from home if they have to. -Starfury Where do you work and are they hiring? -Olorin Yeah...do they need any copy room lurkers or gophers? There's good colleges out in Cali... -Parilla Yup. That's why I'm home today. Our corp office is open today but on a "limited basis." Although I'm in a safe part of Sandy Eggo, I'd have to drive 25 miles through mandatory and advisory evacuation zones to get to work. When checking with my boss whether I should go in or not, her simple response: "You should stay home today." (If not for possible repercussions, I would give h er a big hug for that. But she and I are both married, she's a director and I'm just a peon, and we are a company very aware of potential sexual harassment situations.) Yes, San Diego is burning, and they are calling this worse than the Cedar fire four years ago -- you know, the fire that was called "the worst in California history?" Yeah. This "Witch Fire" is worse than that. -Captain Trips Not to mention the other fires in Sandy Eggo. (And the fact that some areas of the Witch fire burned during the Cedar fire, too.) At least the skies aren't quite as bad as they were then... Yet... -MadJack Damn. I thought I was the only one who worked for companies that take care of their employees. Hang on to that gig. :~} -RiffRaff thats where building underground comes in handy, fires, snow, wind, rain, heat, nuclear bombs, no worries -Belunar

38. Monster.com Compromised I just got the e-mail, and actually verified it at the source. If you go to Monster.com, hit the security alert, and it will take you here. http://help.monster.com/besafe/email/ Ok, if you want to steal my life of dead-end tech jobs, divorces, irs audits, and bankruptcies; Take my Wife, PLEASE!!!!! / henny youngman. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Old news. And it's not like they got anything that wasn't already out there being viewed by all the finance and telemarketing recruiters anyway. They're not getting information like ssns or credit card #s. Everything they get is already readily availble for viewing on a resume, anyway. -MadJack And then they can send you a personalized 'phishing' e-mail about you having qualified for some job posting. -TieDyedDinosaur

39. Personal Routing Dream Come True Though it could go to the break room... In the past week, I've gotten a blackberry pearl (work), a motorola razor (personal), to go along with a substantial VoIP network (at work) that is my playground for special projects. What to do? what to do? Oh, and they're all carried on the ATT network. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Have fun with the RAZR *snort*...between the battery issues, the cheap construction and the flimsy design, you'll be lucky if it survives a week. :) Have fun with the Pearl though, I wanted one of those. They're cute. -TranceGemini Did Trance just call your Blackberry "cute"? If so, you need to get rid of it immdediately. :) -BarmanVarn I call a lot of things cute. Though, Barman, I didn't mean any offense...btw you can pull your pants up now. :D:D:D *BFEG* LART shelter, I need in!! (P.S. the Pearl really is a nice device, I'm jealous!) -TranceGemini Ignore Gemini, I have a RAZR v3c on verizon, and it is still running (few problems with bluetooth stack and BREW, traced to vzw's proprietary firmware. -linuxmatt

40. So what does this make me? I've been running a call routing issue for the past 8 days which is realllllllly stupid. "Enter Your Offer Code" equates to a couple of executives' phone extensions. /// bfeg /// In my report detailing the issue, I actually use... There are two items which I belive could enhance... I would suggest that we evaluate as a possible best practice that... Yep, That's the kool-aid talking. Where the hell's the Scotch? [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments <follow up> This e-mail sucked so much ass that I actually had a Director check with me before he implemented the process that I suggested. /fuckers. i win. -AngrySup

41. PS III vs. Wii Not really safe for work, but close. To close to bump the LOD. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9136575504838642038&hl=en [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Now, if only a store around here would have a wii in stock... I too could go wheeee. -Paisley No officer, I didn't pick up a prostitute, I'm playing with my WII! -Bobsentme Lets all go back to my place and play with my WIInes! -wolfman Ya know, I didn't need to know that her vibrating features had been disabled. Now it means she's going out on the town hunting... *Flees to his dungeon while taking the Wii with me...* -unrenowned PS3 - fun to play with, but you don't want your friends seeing you with it! -SalParadise

42. 2 Minor LARTs with More <bfeg> to Follow Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, I get to be the new Witness administrator. One of my co-irkers owned it, and when they moved on, we weren’t allowed to replace her (cost cutting) A new Supervisor (so new she still has stars in her eyes), calls me and lets me know one of her people isn’t being captured. I troubleshoot through the 10 minutes of training that I got (computer/phone/IDs all match up). I can see the guy on the network, I can see the guy on the phone system, I can even see him through Witness, but I just can’t connect. I look over the guy’s system, and it’s got a perfect image. Only one thing’s missing, the Witness client. A quick re-install and I’ve got him again. Off to share with the Sup my resolution and root-cause analysis…”Yep, he uninstalled it so you couldn’t monitor him”. The stars in her eyes dimmed just a bit, then she brightened up “He probably did it by accident”. Yeah. A guy who’s configuring a new Linux box between calls just for fun? Sorry guy, you’re caught, don’t do it again. The LART to the Rep, just a slap on the wrist, but starting a new Sup down the road to Disenchantment, That Was Fun! bfeg I’ve got my eye on you, and you, and you, and …. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments "Be seeing you...." -vacuumtubes So, I'm guessing, Witness Protectiooooonnnnnn... Not-So-Much.</Paul Buckman - Mad About You> -ShujinTribble "I get this feeling, somebody's watching me...." /rockwell -Grembo Does that feeling include someone sueing you? ...or the feeling of unspeakable dread?</TWOFER!> -ShujinTribble "This is Big Brother. AngrySup to the Diary room." <eg> -TheMacOne

43. Star Trek XI logged for Xmas 2008 launch Story from the Reg, but the real question is..."Who would YOU cast?" http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/02/28/star_trek_xi/ Matt Damon? you gotta be kidding me. My vote's for Tim Allen. (LART Shield on, but I'm not diving for the shelter) [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments The odd-number curse is against it. Then again, nemesis was terrible. -illiterate Tim Allen is getting up there. I agree that Nathan Filion would be a good Kirk. Never Ben Affleck. -adarklite I'm tellin' ya, it's not been long enough. It's worn out, it needs a long rest. They need to leave the ST franchise fallow for at LEAST five years. By jumping too soon, and if picture bombs, Paramount may leave it behind. -vacuumtubes I'd vote for Nathan Fillion, but I don't have a vote. -sassicatz Edward James Almos! nonono.. Admiral Adama couldn't be Kirk... -Harm Actually, in all seriousness, while Damon or Fillion would be fine as a Kirk already in command of the Enterprise, if this is really about a Kirk still at the Academy, my vote goes to Shawn Ashmore. -CaffeineHead I just read the story again, and realized that they've reported it as though it takes place on the Enterprise. JJ Abrams has confirmed that it will take place during Kirk's Academy years. Since Kirk was a young cadet when Spock was in his last year, this likely means that we will only see the two of them, and McCoy, Scotty and the rest won't even be there. -CaffeineHead Keanu Reeves. Just because. -Dante668 I would vote for Will Smith. Hey, if he could play James T. West, why not James T. Kirk? (What I want to really know is who will play Gary Mitchell? During their academy days, Kirk and Mitchell were best friends. And what about "that blond lab technician" that Kirk almost married? Or will they go the way of ST: Enterprise and completely ignore story continuity?) -Captain Trips Keanu Reeves? He gets overwhelmed at the site of an ATM! CaptainTrips, you know what the answer will be, so scream now and suffer later. Remember the Boobieprize, eerrr..., Enterprise series? -Wraith556 Tim Allen? I'll just watch Galaxy Quest again. -concept14 C'mon! Kevin Bacon, of course! Everything ties back to him in the end, anyway. -missourimule I'll take D. Not caring. Sorry, to all Trekkies out there. I am proof that NOT ALL techs love Star Wars. :) The better question to ask is, "George Lucas is STILL alive?" I think I need to seek my spiritual advisor - Obi. ;) -TheMacOne

44. BOFH does Vista "You should go to Vista." "So you like Vista?" "Not really, no. I run a Vista simulator." "Virtual Server?" the Boss asks. "Nah, I just turned on all the flashy crap in XP, changed the background image, took some memory out of my box and clocked down the CPU. Then broke Media player. Works like a charm." "So you don't like it?" "No. But it has does have one advantage." "What's that?" "It causes a clean reinstall of XP which is generally good from a defrag point of view." /Simon [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Jinx! http://www.techcomedy.com/single/single.php?content_number=64257 -Divinar Wow, and you both posted it one after the other. Divina, are you thinking what Angrysup is thinking? -TheGhost ..I think so Brain, but where can we get a live dolphin at this hour?? NARF! -Ulfgaard .........tink. -vacuumtubes "I think so, Brain, but 'Snowball for Windows'?" -wolfman (BLINK-BLINK) Ok, that's just NAY-stee! -ShujinTribble Hehe, I looked before i posted. I found the new bofh and was gonna post that exact comment >:). -cicero

45. Weekend Off !!! (3 of 3) So late last week, IT handed me about 30 brand new 60 GB external hard drives to distribute to my (previously infected) folks in the Sales organization to back their stuff up. They must have figured, “you got it once, you’ll get it again”. The back-up instructions looked like they were typed by a chimp, and the screen shots sucked even worse. All just to run a back-up script out on the network. I figured I give it a try (after handing out about half of drives). It was a USB drive, and after deciphering the instructions, a pretty simple process. Unfortuneatly, after plugging in the drive, my computer didn’t see it. Hmmmm….. Oh, two USB plugs. They both have to be plugged in. Still didn’t work. Hmmmm….Call someone. The drives, as it turned out, had been handed out raw. They all needed initialized, portioned, and formatted. The Tech Support side of the house had no problem. They just handed out 10 more pages of chimp typed instructions with accompanying sucky screen shots. These are tech guys, they could walk through it. Sales? Are you kidding? I had to pull all the drives back and set ‘em up myself. Now, if I can just get a couple of them to disappear from the inventory, it will all be worth it. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments So... their combined idiocy means you get a weekend completely off, with no possibility of call? Sounds like a win. -namor

46. Weekend Off !!! (2 of 3) We’ve got over 1,000 seats on our campus split between Sales and Support. At first, the infection was small. A computer here, a computer there. But then, it got worse. Whole teams were getting taken down. A new standard emerged. Pull the PC, wipe it clean, re-image it, and send it back. Fun for the floor, but less so for others. Analysts who had years of data lost it. Trainers who had tons of materials lost them. Executives with those reallllly cool (yawn) PowerPoint decks were suddenly without their “story”. The best was our Director. Shortly after having his laptop unceremoniously yanked from his desk, he came flying into my office to have his boarding pass for his trip to Corporate printed. Heeheehee. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story

47. Weekend Off !!! (1 of 3) I currently manage (triage) the floor of a 350 seat software sales call center (queues, systems, reporting). We were recently hit with a nasty little worm that the network boys have been trying like hell to dislodge from our network. Scheduled to detonate today, all computers are shut-down and locked up tight, The VPN has been shut down, and everybody was told “Don’t even think about working this weekend.” Damn, and it’s Superbowl weekend. more fun to follow [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story

48. Does It Blend? An outstanding website from the Reg. Barbie? IPods? Golf Balls?...http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?type=unsafe&video=barbie [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Those blenders are impressive. The marbles is neat to watch..the "glass smoke" coming out would not be good to breathe. -Starfury i want one of those blenders! -Harm I want one of those tee shirts too, the one that says "Tom Dickson is my homeboy" -RamenMcTavish Glass Smoke... BAD FOR YOU?! Heavens NO! It's a great cure all of pneumonia, gout, rheumatoid arthritis and dyslexia!</The Glass-Smoker's Council of America> -ShujinTribble Starfish- Will they blend? <hellooooooooo, LART shelter!> -beerman Relax, beerman. Who here would lart someone for blending starfish?!?! -maciarc I recommended they try Semtec, as a stability test. -Stryker One I put in a suggestion to blend old computer cards and parts. Maybe... -RamenMcTavish Hehehe....blending -ThreeBucks

49. I Waaaant My 1.2 Tb Backplaaaane!!!!! Along those lines, IBM also revealed that a Nortel (Blade Network) 10Gb Ethernet switch will slot into its new chassis. With the switch and new chassis, customers can expect to see overall throughput rise from 4Gb to 40Gb per blade and 1.2Tb across the BladeCenter HT backplane. <sorry, lost my a$$>. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/12/05/ibm_telco_blade/ Now, What are 10,000 starfish going to do with this? [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments In harmony now, "The internet ... is ... for ... P-O-R-N !!!!" -Wraith556 (O_o) What are THEY going to do with it? ==NOTHING!!== It's for IT / Help Desk use ONLY for... backups and remote desktop issues... YEAHHhhhh! THAT'S the ticket! -ShujinTribble ZombieGoatBukkakeTube here we come! -56Kdaytrader Visions of streaming blowjob videos dancing in my head, both figuratively and literally.....:-) -vacuumtubes "The internet is for porn, the internet is for porn...grab your dick and double-click for PORN, PORN, PORN!" -Mewtwo dammit, i just saw the internet is for porn song dubbed onto an anime clip last night. my 14yo anime addict gothling kid showed me. i focl - brilliant!!!! -timelady You should see the World-Of-Warcraft Machinima clip. -Wraith556 AHH i see the company i used to wor for IS still putting out quality stuff. i want back in!!! -Harm

50. New BOFH "What, working during drinking time?!?!?!". http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/12/01/bofh_2006_episode_40/ [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Where else are you going to put your beer? </Aaaaand with that I've just pissed off more women then I care to count> -ShujinTribble Yeah, my favorite is when they tattoo their name on their lower back so you know who's name to call. -burrkiss Well Shujin, if you can put your beer there without spilling it, that's YOUR deal. Me, on the other hand, prefers martinis...shaken, not stirred. </me gets interests of more women than he can count> -Bobsentme its a team building excersize :) with anyluck in a few years there will be a well trained team of PFY's.. -Harm

51. Demo Day at Work Yeah! I got a stress ball, 2 candy bars, a water bottle, a couple of pens, and WhoOOWhooOO! A USB Lava Lamp. coooolllll.... look at the pretty colours. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Sweeeeet. -Bobsentme Too bad its demo as in demonstration, and not demo as in demolition...:P -RamenMcTavish So.... in McGyver's terms, all you need for a thermo-nuclear detonator? -Xydiac We have rules against balling to relieve stress in the office. <To the LART shelter.....quick!> -TubPorsche We had BBQ burgers and hot dogs, chips, cookies, soda, a free (company-branded) shirt, and drawings all day this week - I won a $20 gift card. :D -missourimule i got a rock.... then had it taken away due to the use of it as a bludgeon. -Harm Harm - That's 'cause you were using it wrong.. supposed to use it as a wedge -ShujinTribble

52. T/OT Ontology So, I hopped on to TSC this morning, and somebody's story took me to the register, crossed over to /. crusied over to an off-site link on RDBMS (and associated philosophies), which led me to Wiki, and Dictionary, and a little thought on "What the hell do I really do?" Well, I make sense of this..., Ontology[p]: What catagories of "data" are fundemental, and, in what sense, can the items in this catagory be said to be "being data"? Of course I wasted a whole afternoon. piss. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments You wasted a whole afternoon pissing? You need to drink less beer. I recommend tequila. -burrkiss My job: What categories of "vendors" are a pain in the fundament, and in what sense can the items in this category be said to be "breaching contract"? -concept14

53. OT/NT You Suck !!! I know that this site has folks 'over there', and I know I've been 'over there'. Please feel free to lart at will the teacher, vice principals, the pricipal, the superintendant, and the school board. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/mom_s_call_suspension maybe post it as the link of the day. (no star) [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments should I post the superintendant's email address? -Olorin As a retired military person, if I was a parent at that school I would go down to the principal's office and bitch slap the dickhead. Fucking assholes, no damn heart at all. The mother is in a location where she could die at anytime and they won't let him talk to her. Fucking prick. -mccallister Yes, post the dickhead's email address. -mccallister The only reason I am considering it is because 1. my brother was in Iraq, 2. she called on his lunch period and 3.how the hell can a school say it supports democracy and then pull this? Sure he was rude to the teacher but he may never get to talk to his mother again -- end rant, please be civil but firm in your disgust Dr. John A. Phillips, Jr. jphillips @ mcsdga . net -- principal Olivia Rutledge orutledge @ mcsdga . net -Olorin well, sadly the principal's mailbox is full... but the super and the assistant should still get your mail -Olorin Off the "high horses" for a minute, folks - did anyone notice where the school is? This place is on the front step of Ft. Benning! There's NO way that this hasn't been dealt with as a matter of standing protocol at the school, and I KNOW that school district has provisions in place for family servicemember calls - a close friend of mine was last deployed from there about two years ago, and he mentioned to me via e-mail that the school system was very accomodating about talking to his kids (in grade school) during school hours (when he could call). Either the kid is giving a line of shit on this one, or the mother busted the protocol and the kid didn't handle it right. That district has to have THOUSANDS of servicemembers' kids, it would be nearly impossible for this to be an overreaction on the school's part. Remember the media bias.... [/DA] -Grue I've gone through the Fark comments and some more articles and it looks like the kid brought it upon himself by being a dick when a teacher told him to end the call. I think it sucks, but that's clearly an insubordination issue. -NightSteel Did Benning. Great Schools (yeah, Airborne.) Can't say much about the people, but the one's I met were pretty neutral on the Service. Even if the kid brought it on himself, I still think it's shitty. God knows I would be. -AngrySup But enough from me. I know my thoughts, and wanted to call them out. -AngrySup But enough from me. I know my thoughts, and wanted to call them out. -AngrySup Damn. First double post. -AngrySup The only way we will ever know the whole story is if we can see the security footage from that time period, sure I don't agree with the kids actions but it is not clear when he started getting "unruly" and if he truely told the original teacher. I still side with the kid in this case....case closed -Olorin

54. Scary So this is what it's come to. http://www.adcritic.com/interactive/view.php?id=5927 [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Ah, ya shouldn'ta done that. When you get home this evening, two armed soldiers will be waiting for you. One will have burlap hoods and handcuffs in his hands, the other will have one-way tix to Gitmo--all for you and your family. Have a nice stay. Your bullet implant will be made as painless as possible...... -vacuumtubes Right, and a Pizza-place is going to have access to systems that actually WORK? They're lucky if their cash machine tape isn't jammed half the time. I would be more concerned if this was the 911 operator. -TieDyedDinosaur I saw this a while ago, its a scare tactic thing for what might happen if the patriot act were to be enhanced and then commercial companies given acces to the information. A sort of big brother, 1984 deal. While I lean a little left of center on some issues, this went way to far. -ewspy87 Announcer: "This portion of 1984 is brought to you by....Halliburton..." :-) -vacuumtubes This is all based on a computer system that would be controlled and developed by the US government...there should be layers of red tape all over thoes menues -neuman1812

55. Prelude...pt 2. I Gottaaaa!!!!!! New Monitor.... 27 inch, 16:9, HDTV w/ XGA. [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments It's official; I hate you. :) -namor Someone got their tax return! -scooby111 I hate you too - squared! I've just bought a Sony P234 http://tinyurl.com/433d8 23" widescreen for a customer - I almost cried as I relinquished it! -Gromit

56. Prelude to AngrySup's Star I've been lurking (and comenting) for about a year and a half, but I'm GETTING A STAR. (next friday, if all continues well). Bio (and helluva story) coming soon, but next: [By: AngrySup] Comment on Story Comments Don't talk... Do!. Put yer money where yer mouth is. ;) -scooby111 yeah, lets see the fibre of your fabric ;) -Armakuni

Customer Misconceptions

2. "But it says wireless"... http://hardware.slashdot.org/hardware/07/06/07/2057236.shtml Let the LARTs begin. [2007-06-07]

3. That Vista will work without the $800.00 mousepad upgrade. /thx to stalker, 'shroom, and tcat. see post a few down. [2007-05-05]

4. That I'm going to receieve any recognition or compensation for developing a data pull/breakdown that covers 150,000 records a day from 5 different systems. Bastards! If you like the report (and it's sweet), tell your boss, tell my boss, and tell their boss. by e-mail. And copy me. thank you. [2007-04-07]

5. (note the following stories) That when I pick up your external hard drive back-ups, I'm not going to surf them for fun and $profit$. [2007-02-03]

Tech Rules

2. A little gem from /. "In fifty years, they'll still be bitching about not having flying cars" [2010-05-15]

3. "There's money to be made out of the billions of data points, there's also money to be made out of the personal service points," <Dave> McAllister <Adobe> said. He confessed he had no answers as to how to do this. $$$ Profit $$$ when you can figure it out. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/03/19/programming_open_data/page2.html [2010-03-19]

4. The monitor is not considered 'teched' for a power supply issue because you're to dumb to change the input setting. And, no. I'm pretty sure it doesn't need a new $375 circuit board when you didn't even bother to crack the case. Thanks Walt (of Walt's Home Theater & Repair in Tempe, AZ). [2009-07-29]

5. 3 X Fail Required to Refuse. I just realized that every time I tell someone that it won't do that, or it doesn't work that way, that they require the answer 3 different times, with 3 separate scenarios, and escalating the cc: each time. Seriously dude, I've already copied your boss on why it won't work, are you sure you want me to copy his boss? [2008-12-23]

6. "90% in my class will get you an A. 90% on a job will get you fired" /Dr. [AngrySup's dad] PhD. After just surviving another layoff and anticipating the next one, This could be my new sig line, as well as a constant reminder. [2007-10-24]

7. Surfing e-mail for fun & profit... In a Ponemon Institute poll of more than 16,000 U.S. IT practitioners, 62% said they had accessed another person's computer without permission, 50% read confidential or sensitive information without a legitimate reason, and 42% said they had knowingly violated their company's privacy, security or IT policies. http://slashdot.org/ [2007-09-12]

8. An on-site technician will be scheduled no earlier than the span of days between when you first claimed to have had this issue, and the date you actually reported it. /inspired by CaffeineHead at http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=67775 [2007-05-28]

9. I'm not sure how the rule should read, but this should not be alowed to happen: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/11/14/ms_firefox/ [2006-11-14]

10. "...knowing as we do that the IT profession holds about as much mystique 'with the ladies' as a cup of cold vomit with a hair in it." I suprised that the new BOFH hasn't been posted here yet. Ah, but the day prior to a long holiday weekend in the U.S., Where's our Brits? http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/09/01/bofh_2006_episode_29/ [2006-09-01]

11. "Just wait." Everything nice eventually gets corrupted. I was just surfing some dodgey web sites, and had four new tabs open in Firefox. At least it was easy to close. [2006-07-03]

12. If you out-source to a third-world country, don't be suprised if you face (political unrest, riots, bombings, and other natural disasters). [2005-01-03]

13. Not really Tech, but life in general, Rule...Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, wow- - what a ride. (shamelessly stolen from Blonder) [2004-08-26]

Customer Types

2. And your name again? I almost bumped the LOTD, but it hasn't been a day:-) In the USA, there's a new Web site that lets you pull up the criminal history on anyone. The link comes from the MSNBC Web site, http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25820953 but the application is located at http://www.criminalsearches.com/ It nailed me, and my buddy too (and some of the stuff is yeeaarrrsssss old). [2008-07-23]

3. "You are a..." OT/NT from a re-run on TV.."a Idiot wrapped in a moron." R. Romono. [2007-01-31]

Co-Worker Types

2. Rule Nazi A couple of posts today reminded me of my early days as an Angry young Supervisor. Working at a cable ISP help desk, it was discovered that many Agents were using IM to chat while on the clock. BANNED! cried the PHB. If we caught you on Witness, you're written up. A couple of days later, PHB walked over to my area, and saw one of my Reps on IM and went sideways. I explained that this was a TTY/Relay Customer and this was a much better way to work with them. Hilarity ensued. [2009-07-08]

3. Oh SOT! I just noticed that the acronym for the Out-Source Operations Team that I'm handing my job over to is... [2008-06-19]

4. New Guy Fun With New Hires! Boss got him access to our network and e-mail. She was concerned that he didn't seem to have everything he needed. I just got to send a check list of about 20 servers and 30 apps that new guy gets to f$ck with. Then I told him "So, Inego, you’ll be ready to fly solo at this point? Yes? !\;-0 !!!!" [2007-08-27]

5. WTF do I do with This? I just found out my boss is getting a divorce (he hasn't mentioned it), and that he's dating one of my Reps. I'm thinking a pre-emptive visit to HR, 'cause the trip seems inevitable. Thoughts from the board? [2006-12-15]

6. Politically Correct We've got a major cut-over today, but due to complaints, our "War Room" has been replaced by an "Incident Bridge" *note - i'm ex-army, and proud of it* [2005-12-05]

Customer E-mails

2. Subject: Happy Valentine's Day From our vp of security:</p><p> DO NOT OPEN ANY VALENTINE CARD E-MAIL.</p><p> There have been multiple computer virus infections this morning from emails pretending to be Valentine cards from someone familiar. This virus is quite virulent and spreads rapidly. </p><p> Don't be tempted. These cards will in most cases seem to have been sent by someone you know. [2009-02-13]

3. Subject: The Future is Upon Us eMail between me (in the US) and an OS coworker in Chennai, India: ME: Congratulations on your Chandrayaan-1 landing! Welcome to the "Stuff-on-the-Moon" club. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/11/14/indian_moon_landing/ HIM: Thank you, we'll be setting up a BPO site shortly. ROTFLMAO [2008-11-14]

4. Subject: Please let this be true... Technical notification from our Engineering Dept. "Customers attempting to install the automatic P4 update may see the screen flash and disappear." Please, please, please. [2007-01-10]

5. Subject: Listening In - Operations view Actually, my e-mail. UATDroid wants to have 7 developers y-in with my folks tomorrow. My response, "Sure but..." | "Please Note – These plans are fairly firm, but could be easily derailed. We are in the process of moving our floor around (Extreme Floor Makeover), We’ve got flooding in Chennai, Our (high-end) Team is a tad short-staffed, and the network doesn’t seem to be feeling to well these days. If the stuff hits the thing in any of these areas, we may have to call it off." [2006-11-06]

6. Subject: New Trek Movie<p> below is the short thread. My reply /brain bleach /brain bleach 2nd e-mail Mr. Spock’s analysis of the rise of man? 1st e-mail Apparently, it'll focus on Kirk and Spock's early, more, ahem, exploratory, days at Starfleet Acedemy http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/04/21/star_trek_film/ [2006-04-21]

EUPOTD (End User Phrase of the Day)

2. "Dutchman's Curve". Two trains running head-on into each other. With lots of casualties. (sorry, watching mega-disasters right now.) [2011-11-02]

3. Actually my phrase of the day... "You're very pretty, and you two make a cute couple; AFTER work." [2011-07-30]

4. U getz eetd by a GRUE. http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/ffa4eb8a-35ff-40e9-bfe2-96f824573e33.jpg kthxdienao. [2010-12-19]

5. Me POTD "It's a tidy little mess, isn't it?" /said remarking to a nasty call queue miss-route impacted by no Rep training, while black cats were re-arranging ladders. But, it's only one unit, and I've been told it's not my problem. [2008-10-28]

6. New Boss PTOD... "We really need to do this, so just nod while you're hating me". [2008-01-20]

7. ME PTOD - "Horray!!! SpyBot just turned 100. My latest update took it from 98,000+ to 105,000+ bots. And a damn fine job they've done." [2007-11-25]

8. "There's a lot of porn building up on the internet. It's not going to download itself." /House .just now. [2007-04-24]

9. License goatway... [2007-03-05]

10. OT/NT...heard at the bar last night "That sweater doesn't really work for you. Take it home, burn it, then kill yourself." Somehow, I think this could be expanded on. [2006-11-10]

11. "Adds a whole new meaning to 'cable theft'".http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/10/23/vodafone_network_outage/ [2006-10-23]

12. I'm not really a PC user....I just play one @ work. [2006-01-10]

13. Help Learnedlessness [2006-01-05]

14. "Missed it by that much" http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050926/ap_en_tv/obit_adams [2005-09-26]

15. I know it's down. I know you're working on it. But I still can't get to my /ZGP/. Aaaaarrrrghhhh. (actually mpotd) [2005-03-08]