Tech Stories

1. A Valuable Lesson So yesterday I get a call from a recently installed customer of ours saying he was moving to a different address and need to have us reinstall his equipment. I told him there was a move fee of $140. The guy starts barking about how ridiculous that is since we just installed him. I shrug and tell him if he won't pay for the move, then it's a $300 early termination fee and $140 to remove the equipment since he signed a two year contract with us. Thinking this would push him to agree to the move fee, I was shocked to hear that he wanted to cancel. When I asked him why, I got this gem: "Cuz you ISP people are a bunch of nazis and need to learn a lesson!" My reply, "So you'd rather pay $440 to cancel and about $200+ to reconnect with some other ISP to teach us a lesson?" "YES!" Ok.... The lesson for today: Get revenge on ISPs by paying them more money. That'll learn 'em good [By: Forte] Comment on Story Comments That's about like the biddies who get together and "unionize" against $ISP about problems they're having. They decide not to pay their $ISP bill for a few months to "teach us a lesson about CS." The only thing they get is suspended and late/reconnect fees assessed. A group of about 30 people recently did this to $myISP; that's what they ended up with. -RamenMcTavish Ah, the shallows of the gene-pool. -Seamus I wish the State Lottery would teach *ME* a darn good lesson. -Biosynthetic Reminds me of my days at University in the early 80's. The Student Union believed they had a strike weapon. Cue more time in bed for a few lecturers. -rurwin ...and here we have a prime specimen of the Luserus Fuckwitii, sadly an all too-common species. These can be found easily, just follow the call back from any ISP helpdesk. Their usual mode is to demand impossible things, in a "done by yesterday" timeframe, all delivered as a volume that will wake the dead. If spooted, please apply Otis to the back of their skulls, repeatedly. It won't harm them, but it may distract them from annoying the tech even further. -lineswine

2. I will not fix your internet... Got a call from a former customer of ours who was having trouble with her new provider. She bought the wireless router from us and it still had our static IPs in it. I told her how to reset it to factory default and said she was good to go. Not so much. She then starts up on wanting to setup her email in outlook, setup a VPN and get her home office networked. I told her to talk to her new ISP tech support for help with that. (I enjoy these little moments of my job) She starts up about how I AM tech support and I HAVE TO help her. I stated that since she dropped service with us I didn't HAVE TO do anything. The usual threats of talking to my boss and informing the world of my insubordination pass through the harpy's mouth, then the click of the phone hanging up. I can't wait for that call to my boss since he'll tell her to DIAF for switching providers. [By: Forte] Comment on Story Comments And Dora the Explorer says, "Say FUEGO!!" -vacuumtubes “Can you tell me why my father left me?” - SNL Dora. -Biosynthetic Or to listen in on the call to the boss at $NewISP, saying their tech was rude! -Voz "She starts up about how I AM tech support and I HAVE TO help her." Bitch, when you stopped paying, I stopped listening. <click> -lineswine

Customer Misconceptions

2. The Off$pring part 2 ME: Internet Explorer or Firefox... SFson: Oh...'K *unusual amount of time passes* K I got it. Me: Click in the address bar and type 192.16-- SFson: where it says "http://"-- Me: Yes, type in 192.168.1.1 and press enter *hears typing and hard enter click* *silence for about 30 seconds* Me: did you get a prompt to login? SFson: no, I got a thing that say enter username and password.... Me: *fighting urge to facedesk* Ok, the username and password is "admin, A-D-M-I-N" SFson: *typing* ok, do I click ok? Me: sure. SFson: OK, now I have a setup screen. Me: OK, see where it says "DHCP"? Select "Static IP" SFSon: uhhhh... Me: *hears the hamster in his brain fall off the wheel* Ok, I have a tech in the area, I'll have him swing by and fix that right up for ya, ok? SFson: oh ok! Can he show me how to do this in case I need to do it again? Me: *notes to tech to password protect the router* sure. SFson: Cool, I'd like to know how to do it so I can hack the school's network *guffawing* Me: Ah! good luck with that. SFson: Thanks! Me: no problem. This happens more often than not. I'd like some suggestions on pwning these $fish offsprings if possible. Thanks! [2009-04-02]

Co-Worker Types

Customer E-mails

2. EUPOTD: (while talking to $fish about the lightning storm that fried her router) "It's possible that the power grid took a hit from lightning and caused the surge that fried your router." $F: "What power grid?!" [2009-07-28]