|
Here is all the content that Hawk has contributed
to Tech Support Comedy. Tech Stories
4.
Wejoice the Global Party
Greetings TSC!
I hope everyone is doing well. I have a new creation I would like to share with everyone, it is at http://www.Wejoice.com and is called "The Global Party".
It's kinda like a TSC BBQ, it brings people together. Take a look at the site, and sign up if you think it might be fun. You can also of course help me out by doing some of that social networking stuff.....blog about it, tweet about it, fill out the "tell a friend" form after you become a member.
Email me your thoughts and suggestions at brad at@ nlhsolutions.com
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Hey! I could start up a Magic: The Gathering group with this! *Open the door Ghost!!* - unrenowned
Hmm... this isn't that bad of an idea... Although logistically I'm sure some areas would have problems with forming a group, but metro areas can definitely benefit from this. -exzyle2k
You can have only up to 10 people in group, but it could be just one person and a couple friends. The idea is everyone is just doing the same thing every month, and you use the party journal to record what happened at your home party. -Hawk
Hey Hawk, there's a website missing from the portfolio on your site! ;-) -Gromit
If anyone is interested in being part of an Wejoice advisory board shoot me an email to the above address. I'm thinking of having a monthly conference call to discuss event/website ideas. -Hawk
Tech Support New World Order--Starfish, watch for the Black Helicopters.... -vacuumtubes
Hmmm, I don't know....this borders on Larping... -Biosynthetic
that was my take too Bios--sounds too much like Wii church -stiffarm
|
|
5.
Testing 1, 2, 3
TSC took a shit on Friday, its coming back to life.
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
We missed you... -Gerund
To quote that temp. page I saw, "It's back!" -Voz
Happy to see you back -Amicuspicarum
It's ALIVE, ALIVE!!!!! -RandalGraves
Whew... Glad to know all is well. -linkv
Yeah TSC is back. Never realised just how much I would miss it. Thanks for fixing it. -LadyLineswine
I was getting scared there for a bit... Thought my DNS servers went TU or something... -Bynar
That was one healthy dump. Maybe some immodium is in order for the server? >;~} -RiffRaff
Glad its back. -Crai
horray! we love you Hawk. -SpitefulTech
Awesome! Hawk, I could hug you. -Seamus
My liver thanks you. BTW. We have money on what went wrong. I bet Apache shit itself.... We wanna know -deskmonkey
I'm Suing for emotional distress... -Wonko The Sane
It failed after Thanksgiving - just how does a server suffer from over eating ???? -Wonko The Sane
YAY! Thanks, Hawk! -taieena
Thank You Hawk ! -Spyder19
Oh, Voz, he must've been testing it for awhile, the one I saw said "It Works !" -Spyder19
you mean there's other things on the intertubes than tsc? O.o -AdmiralLaurie
Hey, Hawk, I made 3 posts on saturday, where are they ? -Spyder19
OMG! TSC is back...Muchas gracias hombre. NOW - where's my farkin shirts! <runs to any shelter that will have me> -lineswine
Thankya muchly, Hawk! Just how bad of a hardware failure was it? -Grue
Thanks, Hawk! It was muchly missed... -CTYankee
Thanks Hawk, I checked every few hours all weekend... Not that I'm obsessed in anyway. -cyberblade3001
<hands Hawk the toilet paper and a toilet brush> -Armakuni
We can rebuild it. We have the technology. We can make it stronger, faster, better... -ActingUpAgain
Inquiries can be made to peench-a-loaf@serverhost.com -vacuumtubes
Thank Hawk! We were *twitches* getting withdra*twitches*wal symptoms here. *twitches* Good everything is back to abnormal. -TheGhost
Awright! We wuz all gettin' the DTs from TSC withdrawal. (Then again, it could've been someone's relative in an attempt "Get off the computer! It's Thanksgiving, fuhpetessake! Come have another piece of pumpkin pie." -MadJack
Oh, and Thanks again! -MadJack
Good thing it is back. I was bored Friday. -DarkRookie
Yeah, Spyder, that was a "close enough for jazz" moment. I saw that screen, and figured that it was gradually getting back online, and went away for awhile. After it was back up, then the spirit struck me, but the memory of exactly what the screen said was weaker... Mea Culpa! -Voz
And we are back! -Suspenderstech
WooHoo! Server uptime has begun! Friday evening was hell without this place. Thanks, Hawk! -Darkridr
*Passes out t-shirts reading "I survived the great TSC outage of 2008 but all I got to show for it was blisters from constantly refreshing the error page..."* -LinuXtreme
I'm glad your back -compbrat
snerk @ LinuXtreme...everybody log 3 'training' credits for Prof. Hawk's 'Website Repeated Verification Analysis' course -stiffarm
I was starting to get worried then I logged in today and now I feel a calm come over me. All is right with the world. Thanks Hawk for getting TSC back online. We love you!! -raneshem
< Passes a copy of VM Ware to Hawk for future developemnt ... and an evil grin > -Necros
Do you wanna know how much I missed it? I had to come into work at 4am to deal with an overheating server room as the air-con f$cknuggets couldn't seem to fix it to power down servers and cool the room down just to try and get things working for when staff started coming onboard, and while waiting with my hot coffee and grumpy countenance, could not get to my fav site - AAAARGH!!!! Hope it's all better now though, thanks Hawk. -Enzedder
|
|
6.
2007 Star Member Shirt
Ok any suggestions what the back of the 2007 TSC Star Member Shirt should say?
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
"This space for rent?" ;-) <No Hawk! Please don't ban me from the LART shelter! I won't make it out here!> -TheGhost
"Anus Rodentum Non Gratum" -TubPorsche
"Big enough to hold ActingUpAgain's ego!" -ActingUpAgain
Otis rules. :-) -vacuumtubes
Got Clue-Bat? -TechieSidhe
"Moo... TINK!" -- seems to be popular of late. -illiterate
I am Tech support.....You all be my bitches -formatCdrive
"I'm a Tech Support worker, not a miracle worker." -rokitt
Dammit fish, I'm a tech, not a mind reader. -Olorin
"Gimme th'bat!" -Frazzled
"I may like computers, but I DON'T WORK FOR FREE." Or something along those lines. -NightSteel
"No, I will not fix your computer. For free. In my spare time." -FixitWench
Tech Support... Charging gullible users $75 an hour since Time Immemorial minus 2 days. -elcapitane
"You'll regret reading this shirt you find out what I did to your computer when you weren't looking." -Bobsentme
Given the latest fad, having *TINK!* in big, bold letters - arm to arm across the back - would probably be popular. And put an aluminium baseball bat as an underline for effect. -Calydor
You want free tech support, I want a billion dollars and a small island in the S Pacific. (back: Guess neither of us is getting what we want.) -Olorin
Here's another one: Your stupidity is not my problem. -elcapitane
"Why are common sense and common deceny so damned uncommon?" -SwedishChef
I rejected burrkiss's advances. -burrkiss
You want free tech support? (back: "Talk to OTIS" with picture of bat) -Olorin
"Aluminium JUSTICE!" or "Semper in excretum sed sole profundum variat" -Tarantulus
I'm seriously liking elcap's "Your stupidity is not my problem." -Wraith
I thought the same thing, Wraith. -IceRuby
<front>"If I had $50 dollars from every person who asked me for free tech support..."<back>"...then it really wasn't free now was it?" -rokitt
"The internet is full. The e-mail men are out sick. The tubes are clogged. Call back tomorrow." (Credit goes to Coyote for the second sentence.) -PTSTech
"What would burrkiss do?" -EtherRabbit
"Give meee a new moooouuu...*TINK*". Failing that I think Elcap has it. -lineswine
My Tech Support Rates: Standard - $75/hour \ If you watch - $100/hour \ If you ask questions - $150/hour \ If you try to help - $200/hour \ If you're cute - $50/hour \ If you're cute & single - $25/hour \ If you're cute, single, and willing to barter - We'll talk ;) -RiffRaff
My vote goes to Riff's suggestion. -kman52000
Perhaps the words to one of the published tech-sup 'songs'. -TieDyedDinosaur
I change mine to Riff's. -burrkiss
My vote goes for "TINK!" -ThreeBucks
I really like CD's Signature, "LART, for great justice." -Gunpe
Another vote for RR -Daywalker
Taken from Coyote's post yesterday... "Tech support, what are you doing wrong?" -Robster2001
(Front) I am NOT an employee number, your secretary or tech slave! (Back) Fear me, for I am / and can SU at will. -ShujinTribble
You can't fix stupid. -THETECHFROMHELL
I have always liked "Your failure to plan does not constitute an emergency for me." I also like Riff's suggestion, but I think Mrs. Chazz would kill me if I wore that. -chazz
I still like my sig: "Good, Fast, Cheap: Pick Any Two" (...and LIVE with it) -CTYankee
There's a lot of good ones on here. I'm not too keen on RiffRaff's suggestion (I'm female), but like Wraith and IceRuby, I'm seriously liking elcap's "Your stupidity is not my problem." -ManyHats
ManyHats: I was very careful to avoid any gender indications in my suggestion so that it could be worn by both male and female techs. -RiffRaff
On the other hand, since their stupidity often IS my problem (to fix, anyway), I am also very keen on Chazz's "Your failure to plan does not constitute an emergency for me." -ManyHats
My bad, RiffRaff, sorry! -ManyHats
Ooooo, that SpongeBob quote that missourimule posted a little earlier would be good: "Don't you have someplace else to be stupid?" -ManyHats
If you're so smart, then why do you need my help? -Dr Jerkyl
The 7 P's. Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. -Rabbitt
Personally, I think that whatever we end up choosing, that it should be something that would make sense to non-TSC people. "what would burkiss do?", although funny to us wouldn't mean much to anyone outside of this forum. RiffRaff's would fit into this.
Something along the lines of "Tech Support, what can we do you for today?", subtle, and would take a few mins for a non-tech to get. Perhaps we could arrange (from what I've heard) for CD or TranceGemini to wear this on the front of a shirt? Just to see what it looks like? O.o urm..direction to the shelter? anyone? -Quchant
R.T.F.M -ThinTheHerd
"This is not your parents tech support...now you actually have to THINK!" -rokitt
I would second Chazz, but I prefer the wording to go like this: "A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." It just seems to scan better, semantically speaking. (And, also, so that no one can accuse me of being anti-semantic!) -Captain Trips
"Hello, tech support, what have you broken today?" -Wraith556
Riff's or Chazz's would be my choice... -Ulfgaard
I second Calydor -beatmewithstick
Tech Support: Where the head meets the desk. -LoTech
"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person" -madonnac
Shut up and Reboot! or All your Reboots are belong to us! -TechnoVampire
I enter Coyote's contribution in for your consideration. "The internet is down this week, the e-mail men are all sick." -MadJack
I third Calydor. Also, I don't see any reason why it has to be simple enough for a non-tech to understand. And do we really want to waste a TSC shirt on something dumb enough for the *fish to understand? -redevil34
I have it!! "Next time, read the Terms of Service." -MadJack
"Top 10 reasons I like binary. \n 10. It's easy to learn. \n 1. That look on your face." -maciarc
RTFM! before you call. small print (Read the Freaking Manual) -StarFishHearder
add another line to previous post. If you didn't *TINK* -StarFishHearder
OK,for something that will speak to the fish, I like Riff's suggestion. If it's supposed to be an inside joke, then how about, "Tech Support- I *TINK*, therefore I am!" -Voz
PEBKAC -conundrum
"The ink is too expensive." or its follow up "If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college." (or simply "If it weren't for my horse".) That was the one that has stuck with me and my family since reading it. -evolvedstarfish
I think this is from Bash: "If you e-mail me, I'll disable your account. If you call me, I'll disable your account and erase it from the server. If you show up at my desk, I'll format your hard drive." -Bobsentme
"Yes, sir, I do understand. I just don't give a shit." -linkv
Need help? Call 1-800-TINK. Ask for Otis. -TheMacOne
I like Voz's suggestions "Tech Support: I tink, therefore I am." -FixitWench
|
|
8.
RSS Feed
Hey enjoy the RSS feed, let me know if anyone has any issues with it, it updates every minute.
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
um...k is anyone else having issues with it? I can't get it to load in my news ticker, could easily be that I'm an idiot though.
-dc70380
I tried it in two different RSS readers, if we have any experts in RSS feeds out there, drop me a note if you can see what might be wrong with TSC's. Or if anyone has any suggestions let me know. -Hawk
Set the MIME type for rss to text/xml - it seems to default to text/plain right now. Try that. -namor
... if .htaccess will allow, try this in the root of the site: "AddType text/plain rss" - without the quotes, of course. -namor
Er. Frick. I meant text/xml in the previous comment. I should get some food/drink in me, not necessarily in that order... -namor
done, does that seem to help things for you? -Hawk
Seems right to me, but I don't do RSS personally. Anyone else verify? -namor
I get this error "
This XML file does not appear to have any style information associated with it. The document tree is shown below." using FF -frprinterwiz
> hey has anyone gotten the rss feed to work yet? even my thunderbird doesn't like it. -dc70380
I'm using Wizz RSS 2.1.6 for FF and it's working great. -Veinor
Google Reader is showing the titles only, but another feed I added is showing everything :-/ -evolvedstarfish
From a quick bit of checking, I think the fact that it says rss 2.0, but doesn't have any additional tags that it expects... specify 0.91 for a bit and see? -namor
Hm. Works as-is in Thunderbird. So that's what RSS does... -namor
Works great in Sage for FF2.0
Thanks Hawk! Been looking for something like this. -pcmacman
It's working great for me under Firefox with RSS Tickler. Thanks, Hawk!! -Tekkie
|
|
9.
Search Results
I scan the TSC weblogs to see how visitors come to the site and let me tell you sometimes what people search on are pretty stupid.
Someone just visited the "Red Stapler" site by searching on "where+do+i+place+my++stapler+on+my+desk"
thats right up there with "How do I wipe my ass".
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Let's see, if I place my stapler pointing east, the paperwork flow right off my desk and good fortune will be mine. (Now which way do I point my ass? Is there a feng shui for dummies?) -FixitWench
SF: How do I breathe? Me: Really, I'd rather you didn't! -viennasausage
I HAD to check....:D -Dr Jerkyl
Hawk...you should post up a list of the really dumb/funny search terms that have lead people here. -3p0ch
I like 3p0ch's idea, except that it wouldn't be long before people started gaming the list trying to find the weirdest search terms that would still get them to this site (ZGB, anyone?). An automated list would be pretty funny though. -NightSteel
Holey crap! Hawk! You posted! You are not a ledged! You do exist. I have only heard rumors about you as I have only been here under a year. Wow, I don’t know what to say, I thought you were only a myth, a Icon, a fabricated web master to keep non- tech people at bay. All I can say is, thank you! I am not worthy. I know, I am rambling, but wow! On another note, It does not surprise me of the stupidity of a starfish, they never seem to get it ever. -Gunpe
I sence that a smartass is going to lose his/her star soon............HEY GAWDDAMMIT not me Hawk!!! :D -burrkiss
Jebus, Gunpe. Hawk = Tron. Everyone knows that. Sheesh!!! <bfeg> -viennasausage
I said 'yep', Hawk said 'yep', and be damned if it wasn't 'yep'. He lives, and is a benevolent master. (Hell, he deals with us?) -AngrySup
Fark that! it's always in the place where I can grab it... Of course my coworkers bitch about my industiual strenght unit, he,he, ,I said unit, now how do you remove a staple from the eye... I really ned to kno becase hes screemin and my ol lady is gettin pissd about haven to hold hem down? -Hellion
"GREETINGS, program!" -ShujinTribble
Heh, I'm pretty sure I got here by searching "Hot Tech Chicks". =P -Bobsentme
I got here by searching "GIVE MEEE A NEW MOOOOOUUUUSSSEEE!!!" (runs away to the LART shelter, giggling like a loon.) -lineswine
Wiping one's ass with a stapler sounds painful. <One non-sequitor headed for the lart shelter, coming in.> -Captain Trips
http://www.amazon.com/Feng-Dummies-David-Daniel-Kennedy/dp/0762411295/sr=8-1/qid=1159666376/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-5341962-8667162?ie=UTF8&s=books -linkv
Maybe s/he couldn't remember how to spell "feng shui". -MeanDean
|
|
10.
co-worker blues
trying to explain over the phone how to remove a faulty dvd burner from co-worker's pc, after much, pull a little harder, and yes you can do I know you can! I ask for the model number....she says Seagate ST...ahhhh yeah, thats the hard drive not the dvd burner...can you say, I'm not getting off work on time today....arrrrrr
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
You know it's gotta be BAD if Hawk is posting... :)
-Mushroom
ohhhhh bad. -Harm
She probably thought that other thing was the cupholder. -NightSteel
So the user pulled a little harder and the wrong thing came out? (YO! Burrkiss? You wanna take this one? I gotta put TinyTribble to bed for the night.) -ShujinTribble
PLEASE tell me you weren't teching for HawksWifey... (Teleports to LART shelter "Hi guys, yep, back again") -lineswine
Hey, LS, you do know that Hawk's got the LART shelter hardcoded to deny entry when he's the target, right? -missourimule
|
|
11.
TSC IRC (OT)
Ok TSC IRC is now open and ready for people to chat. I decided to have the IRC channel offsite because if the site ever does go down (I mean when it goes down) it would be nice to have a place where people could go and find out what is going on. Instead of calling RiffRaff and finding out what's up, Riff I think is the only one who has my phone number.....anyway feel free to come on in!
If you are a star member, I registered a nice java applet call JIRC, and it is available in the "Members Area", just look on the left side and you will see the link "Chat Room",
You will also notice at the bottom of the home page a "Last Thing Said" area, it shows (well most of the time), the last thing said in the channel.
If you don't have a star membership....get one!
Just kidding (well not really), but you can come on in too, the IRC host is: irc.nightstar.net and the channel is tsc.
Hope to see you in the channel
later
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Hmmmm... Any known issues with the java applet and Firefox? -RiffRaff
Looks like there might be, looks like you got kicked right away. -Hawk
When I tried to connect with Firefox, I got a message saying it would work only with Netscape & IE, but I'm also blocked at work. :( So no IRC for me to keep me amused at work. :( -taieena
I'm using Firefox (1.06) and it's working fine for me. -JustAGirl
That's what I'm using too, JAG. -RiffRaff
Actually, Hawk, just in case you forgot -- I managed to scavenge your phone # also... <grin> -chazz
Hawk - quick, change your phone number - chazz has it!
-Divinar
so thats how chazz knows all *just kidding chazz* -rhiannon
Actually I have used that phone number exactly once. Rest of the time... I just sit and watch. <grin> -chazz
I heard it was Burrkiss' dream to write Hawk's phone number on the bathroom wall of every Nudie Bar in the Western Hemisphere. -CyBear
i thought it was burrkiss's dream to have his written on every nudie bar on the continent -rhiannon
"Hi, I'm Judy Patch. For every copy of my CD that is purchased, I will perform a personal lap dance for the TSC Star Member of your choice. Imagine me....Judy Patch...giving you....a Lap dance!" -rokitt
Imagine the viruses you'll get from that lap dance... -redevil34
AAARRRRGGGHHH! I headed straight over there and what did I find?!?!?! My butt shrunk! -maciarc
Now my hard drive lost its IP. Thanks, Judy Dancer! -Mushroom
I use FFox , and it does seem to crash, but found if I left it, it was just hanging, once the jpilot java app was loaded and accepted, BINGO!....but no one was there at the time, oh well, so seems to work, but not tested yet, will try later -Jax
|
|
12.
Tech Merchandise OT
Well TSCs hosting company sucks, but it is cheap. In an effort to generate more revenue from the site I would like to present the following idea: Every month we have a t-shirt idea contest, we collect ideas one week, and then vote for the winner for another week. The winner would get a free shirt of course, and all the glory.
What does everyone think?
Any additional ideas?
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
We might need to have a 'caption this picture', assuming we can find a picture that is sufficiently sparsely graphical (What? Don't you speak techese too?) -TieDyedDinosaur
i had an idea on increasing site traffic the other day. frequently in my job I speak to people who would enjoy this site, but I don't wish to use my corporate e-mail system to contact them about it, and i'm uncomfortable sharing my private e-mail with them. An invite to tsc form would be nice. -illiterate
I like the idea actually - sounds good. I may have a lead on hosting - buddy of mine has a servers doing sfw. Ill find out if the servers is actually online or not. -Harm
Hey Hawk, I just noticed - the footer of the pages - (c) 2003 - needs an update ? -Wonko The Sane
we could convert this into a church so you could operate tax free :) -NOFXfan
I like illiterate's idea. You could even do a referral style setup, where if someone that you refer to the site signs up for a star, the referrer gets a star? -NightSteel
What would be really cool is to sell email addresses. Buy a normal star membership for X dollars, and add the T shirt and/or email address (using username@techcomedy.com), and give people webmail so they can send out those invites from the site through their techcomedy.com account! :) -EagleEye
Shirt captioning sounds cool. Though eventually you wind up with a lot of shirts. :) Seconded on Illiterate's idea (which he'd presented to me yesterday when he was telling me about the EU that inspired the thought), would be nice to be able to invite the kindred spirits. :) [Got my shirt a couple days ago, BTW... tanx! My wife said "50/50? Why not 100% cotton??"] -Mushroom
Mush you prefer 100% cotton? Does everyone else think that too? Does it matter? -Hawk
I like the 'invite to TSC' idea as well. Seconded - or thirded, whatever works. *g* -teivrann
The TSC shop doesn't really have much in the way of pictures of the stuff you can order. I really do like the captions though. I would help your revenue by buying a few of them if I could see pictures of them. (I don't know if it's more starfishy to ask for a picture... or not to have one in the first place...) -evolution
The Tech Store never really got off the ground, I'm thinking of converting it to just have the shirts, possibly try to do a mug again (remember the GFY mug!) I was thinking a red mug with a outline of a whit starfish on it with a cross through it. -Hawk
whit = white -Hawk
I like the caption competition as well, generally speaking those tend to have greater longevity. -CommanderData
Polyester gets 'bally'... Cotton is comfy. :) And I need to get a GFY mug, and a poster... :-D -Mushroom
as someone who's going to need to wear all cotton shirts to work i second the cotton is comfy. the caption idea is good, there were a lot of good ideas posted for this years star shirt that were really funny but not so much as the winning one. mugs are nice too. -rhiannon
I think selling techcomedy.com e-mail addresses would work wonders. I know I'd pony up a couple extra bucks a month to have riffraff@techcomedy.com as an another e-mail addy. :~} -RiffRaff
i for one would be willing to put up with banner ads, but I'd prefer not to see popups. -illiterate
If you must have banner ads, OK, though perhaps the star could mute them -- I suspect that you'd make more in a year from a star than from the ads said member would be seeing. Pop-ups / pop-unders are evil; I have stopped visiting at least one site purely because the pop-unders made their way around Firefox. On other ideas... well, let me think. We do have a rock-solid colo here; may be expensive. You want to contact me directly about hosting costs? -chazz
I hate pop-ups and advertising, so I think I'm going to stay away from that. -Hawk
Hmm... Interesting. The banners idea hadn't come out before. I'll second Illiterate. Banners are not that bad. It's not advertisement per se most people is against, it's when it turns aggressive or annoying (ie. popups) that we all dread it. But I'm being redundant, am I not? No need to say this to techs... -TheGhost
webmail + websense = blocked members. I like the site referral link though. -FrontSideBus
Hawk, I have another suggestion. (I hope I don't sound pedant). Why don't we take this to the forums? The post will fall to the archives in a few days, but the ideas can go on for a while. BTW, I just got one. See you all in the break room. -TheGhost
here is a link to that http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?t=3049 -jard
Good point, could everyone post any additional ideas in the break room.
Thanks -Hawk
List of the Day ??? - runs to lart shelter to avoid, Dogbert & Catbert setting lawers onto me... -Wonko The Sane
Caption comp - great idea. Improved illustrations in the shop - equally great idea. Starfish mug - bloody terrific idea! T-shirts - 50/50 please. They shrink less, dry quicker and don't lose their shape </Mrs Gromit> -Gromit
How about 2 levels of star membership. Keep the current level with a gold star and maybe a blue or red star for $10. -atomicbill
If I can make another suggestion, Hawk - why not put a link to the Forum discussion in the 'News' section on the front page. Apart from anything else, it would give you an oppurtunity to change the message that's been ther for 4/5 months :D -Shaede
Here's an idea for something. oversized coffee mugs with some of the t-shirt quotes that don't quite make it. or let the tech design their own. -AdmiralLaurie
|
|
13.
Star Member Shirt Ideas
Been super busy lately, and I know I need to get a bunch of star member shirts out, any ideas on something new to put on the back of them?
Thanks
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Starfish: just the average id10t -virusjtg
Whatever it is - make it cool - I have to renew my star. Someone posted a picture of a "Lart Inside" with the intel thing around it. Kinda cool. -jard
Giving IT to you -Armakuni
How about, "Thank you for calling Tech Support. Your call will be posted on the internet shortly." -rokitt
I took your credit card on a major bender and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. -Armakuni
All is known -Armakuni
How about ripping off Nike ? " Just FSCK IT!" < Running to PondLife to throw off the dogs > -Necros
I can see your pron -ecoli
"I WANNA NEW MOUSE" <hey guys, *thwap* ow i had to say *whack* it> -Armakuni
To quote "The Register", Biting the hand that feeds IT. -ecoli
"Do that again and I'll LART you myself" <bev hills cop reference> -Armakuni
FFR, just another service we provide. -ecoli
"I hope you saved that" -Armakuni
Your village called. Their idiot is missing. -ecoli
Starfish + LART + Tech = Tech.happy
(I've been programming way to long......) -virusjtg
Or, to enhance on Armakuni's suggestion:"Tech Support: Giving IT to you 24 hours a day." :) -rokitt
"Rule #1: All starfish lie, Rule #2: See rule #1" -Armakuni
Four out of five voices in my head don't like you. -ecoli
I'm ignoring you on purpose. -ecoli
I don't speak english -Armakuni
What have you just broken that i have to fix -Armakuni
Go to http://albinoblacksheep.com/you.html for a good time! -Veinor
Digital Dogcow - All hail the king of LART's -Armakuni
"I see starfish people. Sometimes, they don't know they're starfish and most of the time, THEY RING ME!" -flapjackboy
Tech Support: Same nightmare, different day. -ecoli
Tech Support: Everything I need to know I learned from the people trapped in the basement. -ecoli
Still plays with computers. -ecoli
Tech Support: I know your passwords and I have your credit card number. -ecoli
"Thank you for calling Tech Support. Do you want fries with that?" -ecoli
"Guess which one of the seven dwarfs I think you are?" -ecoli
"My Indian name is Runs With Beer" -ecoli
Techs do it with hardware -CommanderData
Tech Support: I've Stopped Listening Why Haven't You Stopped Talking -ecoli
Put down the pipe and step away from the computer -CommanderData
Tech Support - We read your email -CommanderData
Take your hands off my floppy -Armakuni
Tech Support - Not just for password resets anymore -CommanderData
Hawk, our saviour -Armakuni
You must be at least *this* smart to use the computer (with picture of monkey) -CommanderData
Just don't -Armakuni
No saying - but several pictures of computers with X through them - rather like WW2 fighter plane art. -CommanderData
I see braindead people -trs998
There are only two professions that call their customers USERs -ecoli
How about the winner in the T-shirt category of the "Tech Support Comedy 1st Annual Maybe Not To Be Repeated Starfish Olympics" at http://users.adelphia.net/~ravnos2/tsc/ . HINT HINT HINT. -VIPERsssss
YOU asked ME for help, now shut up and listen. -Armakuni
I second CD's last one. -virusjtg
What about "No. I won't fix your computer. Especially not for free." ? -Necros
Wang Computers or Wang Cares -Armakuni
CD, how about several Starfish with X's through them? -ecoli
(Sigh) Avoid computer virii ... Practice safe HEX ? -Necros
How about a picture of Eggshen with an X through him :) -Armakuni
Middle Atlantic Tech Support Conference, Atlantis, 2005 -ecoli
Don't even THINK of outsourcing this ... -Necros
Hello from India ? -Necros
Omnipotence: It's a tech thing. You'll never understand. -Necros
"You did WHAT to your computer?" -ecoli
"Why yes, we did turn off the internet!" -ecoli
LART shelter, protecting techs from the likes of you. -Armakuni
"I Smell Something Burning. Have You Been Thinking Again?" -ecoli
"Always being right is an awesome responsibility" -ecoli
This job would be great if it wasn't for the starfish! -TheSingingTech
A picture of the caffeine molecule -ecoli
how about this: http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/sysadmin/6692/ -ecoli
There's no place like 127.0.0.1 -ecoli
RTFM -ecoli
Tech Support: Fun flies when you're doing time. -ecoli
You must be as smart as this rock (pic of a rock) to use the internet. -YellowDart
oops.. didnt see CD's post. LOL -YellowDart
Either--Just repaired your PC--All is Known, or I want my dollar and my taco! -vacuumtubes
On front, picture of a computer "This is your computer" beneath that picture of it trashed, "This is your computer if you don't stop bitching at me", on the back, beside or underneath a sledge hammer, "Shall we try it with your brain next?" or "Any questions" -Dragones
"Good Luck Hiding Your Porn" -RandalGraves
Someone here used this as a tagline: "Do I come to YOUR job and tell you when the fries are done?" -hkypipe
All your pron are belong to us. -ecoli
Get outta the pool! -RiffRaff
Bad monkey! No internet! -VIPERsssss
My hardware + your software = wetware. What? Its got a chance. -burrkiss
All your pron are belong to us <raises hand to second vote> -neuman1812
No, I won't fix your computer for you. -mccallister
Shut up or I will delete you -virusjtg
A starfish with a red circle and crossbar through it, like the no smoking sign. -teivrann
"Back away from the keyboard, NOW!" -Grue
Techs First Rule: People Are Stupid! -EUSoulStealer
B.O.H.I.C.A. & a picture of a Starfish. -lineswine
http://uploads.savefile.com/redir/126207.png
-Digital Dogcow
Simply the anatomy of a starfish on the back. - http://encarta.msn.com/media_461553721_761572716_-1_1/Internal_Anatomy_of_a_Starfish.html .. perhaps some wit along with it that I'm lacking right now. -seventh
I second DD's submission. -Armakuni
I third DD's submition -virusjtg
If it's so simple, YOU fix it! -ecoli
I fourth DD's post. If you want to be really PC, you can always leave off the CR*P. -virtualchoirboy
hey DD, do you have a new link for that? -LiQUidICicle
Thank you for calling Tech Support. What did you break this time? -TechnoVampire
yeah, the internet is broken -ViciousPenguin
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe -Treker
there are several that i like and would love to have on a shirt, "do i go to your job and tell you when the fries are done", "i hope you saved that", "your call will be posted on the internet shortly", "everything i need to know i learned from the people trapped in my basment", "no i wont, especially not for free" and the one that made me fall off my chair "there are only two professions that call their customers USERS" oh and "hello from india?" gets my vote only if you include the ? in the saying. -rhiannon
I don't like mine much anymore. Can I put in 50 ites from my office for "there are only two professions that call their customers USERS" ??? LOL -YellowDart
I don't like mine much anymore. Can I put in 50 ites from my office for "there are only two professions that call their customers USERS" ??? LOL -YellowDart
damn double post. and its supposed to Say VOTES -YellowDart
"I work very hard to be this poor." or "People who think they know everything annoy those of us that do." -Darth
Vogon poetry, anyone? -flapjackboy
"If you can read this, I'm either a) walking away, shaking my head in disbelief that you've managed to survive this long, or b) I'm under your desk, plugging in the patch cable you kicked out. If it's b, then you're standing WAY too close and my price doubles based on your proximity." Of course, this fitting on the back of a t-shirt would require some tiny font or could only be available on the XXL version... -Avalon68
So ... just putting FSCK OFF in leet speak isn't enough ? -Necros
"FFR is MY friend, as far as you're concerned...." -Grue
PEBKAC! -Evilturnip
Make the voices stop! -TheJman
I got yer new mouse *RIGHT* *HERE*! -LoTech
I still like Jard's "And the users exclaimed with a laugh and a taunt. It's just what we asked for but not what we want" We were going to use it at the 2004 Omaha BBQ but didn't. -Rabbitt
"I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tommorrow doesn't look good either." -Darth
Pass the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, please... -Darth
The customer is always wrong. -TheJman
a modify vertion of TheJman's post "The customer is always wong" -virusjtg
quoth the tecky "Lart 'em more" -Harm
all your email are belong to us? -Harm
IT - producing disgrutled employees since the creation of the end user. -Harm
You will adress me as " Your highness, keeper of the tech secrets and protector of hardware" -Harm
This call may be recorded for the purposes of laughing at your dumb ass and sharing with your boss. -Harm
STFU and RTFM! you'll live longer. -Harm
We know were you live. We know your account information. We ctrl the Email and the Pr0n. Still want that supervisor now? -Harm
Hawk: I still have the "LART Inside" and "Hello, my name is Krupnedephewundikaniswaliniaphorganopop" images. If you need anything vectorized in Illustrator, whiteboard me :D -Mango
YOU are obviously too stupid to use a computer! So don't try. -atomicbill
I'd rather be a computer nerd than an id10t. -atomicbill
I do have all the answers, but you are asking the wrong questions. -Darth
... and the Geeks shall inherit the Earth
(optional tagline - So give me my share now) -K1W1
"So you broke your cupholder?" -MeanDean
How about a nice "LART Simpson" graphic? http://www.866yerwebz.com/lj/lartsimpson.jpg -MeanDean
Time to aska stupid question. What colour T-shirts? -nightwalker21
The oldie but goodie "We'll get along fine as soon as you realise I am GOD" -sajwaite
|
|
14.
Just a test
Nothing to read here, this is just a test.
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Did I pass? ;-)
-SwedishChef
Yes, you passed. But stop loitering. *grin* -teivrann
Hawk, did you put the dates back in? I like that! -Tekkie
Everyone keeps commenting on the "post numbers", which so far as I can tell only show up in the address bar. Am I missing something else that would show this as post 33593? -Grue
nice silver star!!!! are we thinking about a new level of membership, or the color idea to indicate how long we've been a member? -wolfprince
<excited puppydog tail wiggle> and do I get a prize for being the first to notice? </excited puppydog tail wiggle> -wolfprince
I like the star. Very nice. And the dates, cause I have been missing those. Bravo.
-jard
You say "Test", my reply is "Tickles" -Gerund
This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. The broadcasters in your area in voluntary cooperation with federal, state, and local authorities, have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency. If this had been an actual emergency, the posting you just read would have been followed by news or instructions. This test serves the Techcomedy.com area. This completes our test of the Emergency Broadcast System. -TheSingingTech
Tests prove that testing works! -atomicbill
how bout designer color stars? -rhiannon
This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been an actual emergency, you would have heard lots of screaming and yelling following by the sounds of running footsteps</Calvin> -virtualchoirboy
If we passed the test, when do I get my certificate? (Must be at least as good as an MCSE, no?) -Captain Trips
"Nothing to read here"? Oh yes there is....all the silly comments! (Give me a star just like yours nowwwwww!) -lineswine
i'm sorry in advance, but i have to do it. i want a new STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! kiddin i like mine right where it is, please dont lart me hawk -rhiannon
always wondered why there aren't time-stamps as well as the date. And am I the only one who noticed that the test may *not* have passed? Maby something shoulda been blinking bright pink or something. Nice silver star. When do we find out what the test is about? -Dj
You're not going to release the results of this test to my wife, are you? -CyBear
Silly wolf, it's not a silver star, it's a *platinum* star. Use the source, wolf! <g> -ThirdOfFive
Ooh... how do WE get one? -Veinor
OWWWW! My eyes!!! -billybien
Hawk, Thats not a Gold Star, It's the outline of a dead Starfish, so your going to offer the option of Dead Starfish ? -Wonko The Sane
Your star is faulty, it turned back to gold.... -Wonko The Sane
|
|
15.
Riff & Magenta's Visit
It is 2:00 AM and Riff and Magenta have left Baldwin, WI. It was nice to meet them, thanks for stopping by. I guess the traffic in Chicago was terrible. They are now on their way to Billings, MT. Drive Safe!
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Baldwin WI, so thats where those pesky (not so very good) actors are.... -rhiannon
WooHoo! A visit with Darthluke & fam in Spokane and then...Seattle, Tuesday evening! -obie099
Baldwin? As in HWY63 Baldwin? I bike by there all the time (Do do a near century route from hudson to memonomie and back). Small farking world. -nm
wisconsin? boy it must be boring there. -postal tech
OOOo, fun :)Mrrrrooooooo..... -Warrick
Wisconsen forms of entertainment: Cow Tipping, Cow Pie Bingo and Making Cheese. *runs in terror for the lart shelter, dives in, finds himself in an outhouse* Bah... who switched the signs. -Jerbear
Traffic? In CHICAGO?? NO WAY. Can't believe it. Ok, maybe a little. I live about 20 miles from Downtown & drive to & from work...sometimes it's 20 minutes, other times it's 90 minutes. Can be a true test of patience. -Avalon68
Dang, I'm only a couple of hours from Baldwin! Oh well, I probably did the world a favor by not driving on a Friday night, as I tend to meltdown after a full week of terror and adventure (work). Not much good after about 6p.m. on Fridays. -Tekkie
Pizza!! Can't wait to meet the happy couple Tueday evening. Have a nice trip, kids... -Mushroom
baldwin, huh... i bet i teched them sometime in the past... -volvo64
|
|
16.
test story
test story number 1
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Nope, don't see it. Hey, now you're working on the code, can't you do something about the 'Next story' links when they point to a tech song? They're broken, don't give you a title, just 'by WHOEVER'. -Calydor
Calydor thanks for the heads up, I fixed it.
-Hawk
Hey Hawk, nice job by the way. Thanks for a great site! -LadySharky
Thanks for the great site Hawk! -Hellion
When does test stoy 2 come out? -STJ
"Starfish are my prey" hehehehe I love it. <Wanders off to compose a cool signature of his own> -RiffRaff
I hope Test Story 2 has better CG than TS1 did. <g> -Bioguy
I found the plot of "test story" to be overly simplistic and predictable. -KickahaOta
I found it to be "refeshingly" siple in it's simplistic simplicity... 2 thumbs up!!!! -duckhead
I waited outside in the rain just so that I could be first in line for Test Story, along with hundreds of others. It was worth the wait! I can't wait for TS2 -ecoli
TS2 is scheduled for release in early summer, 2005, pending casting calls, and budget approval. While shorter than the prequel, it promises to be full of even more action, drama, comedy, horror, romance, and science fiction than ever seen before! -Bynar
TS2 is scheduled for release in early summer, 2005, pending casting calls, and budget approval. While shorter than the prequel, it promises to be full of even more action, drama, comedy, horror, romance, and science fiction than ever seen before! -Bynar
I cant wait for the prequel TS .5! -neuman1812
Wait until Hawk releases the "Special Edition" TS1 with new CGI explosions and incompetant intergalactic Bad Guys who can't hit someone across a 3 foot table while aiming right at them! :) -SwedishChef
Can't... stop... laughing. -scooby111
Tech Story 2 is slated to be an All-singing, All-dancing version of Test Story 1. -TechnoVampire
Tech Story 2 maybe, but Test Story 2 looks to be so full of shit that it had to be posted about twice <EG> -GothKat
Psst, Test story 1 is on Kazza! , <shifts out of way of stampede> -RTFM
Tests prove that testing works! -atomicbill
I just don't believe this. They picked somebody ELSE to play Spyder19 in TS2 !!! -Spyder19
And then after TS2 is released, they'll release TS1.5 which re-tells TS1's story from RiffRaff and Magenta's point of view. (Sorry if you don't understand the reference. If you don't, its to that new Lion King made for DVD movie) -TheSingingTech
hawk: good to hear from ya!!! yeah i know, no star...yet. damnit, i'm working on it. thanks for the site and the stress relief. over the years this place has become both an anchor for my sanity and someplace i can vent. i can't say this enough - THANK YOU!!! -omegawolf
|
|
17.
Riff & Magenta Message
RiffRaff Sent me this: Sun, 26 Oct 2003 00:28:38 GMT
Subject: Greetings from the Empire State Building
Hawk,
Tried to post on TSC but terminal I'm on won't pop up user/pass box. Please post for me that Magenta and I are now officially hitched, and we say "Hi" from a public access termial on the 86th floor of the Empire State Building.
We'll be back next week. Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and well-wishes; we're having a wonderful time.
Riff & Magenta
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
If you get this while in NY get a nice rib dinner and stuck the juices off your fingers with a smile, cause your not @ work and on a honeymoon, quite possible the best time you can have sober. -burrkiss
Congrats!!!! May you have lots of happiness!!! -rockytech
May "for better or worse" be far better than worse. Congrats! -RedSwingline
Rather than clog up Hawk's acc with congrats to Riff, let's post on his whiteboard instead? -CommanderData
I work DOWNTOWN your in MIDTOWN !! DAmn !!! -LowLevelFormat
Watch out for the ledge, its a long drop!
Congrats. I wish I could do an ascii party hat -- <:D -- thats All I got. . . . -nm
Congratulations Riff :) Hope you and Magenta have many happy technically inclined memories together.
-Warrick
That's a whole new way to 'take the plunge' so to speak... :) Congrats, Riff & Magenta... -namor
congratulations guys, best of luck! -WickedClown
congrats! -kennz
Congratulations Riff! Best of wishes to you both. -Techromancer
Riff, No Pushing Starfish off the top of the Building... Oh, ook, just this once, and due to the nature of the event, you can push ONE starfish off... What, Magenta want to do one as well... Look, If I let you do more than One, then I won't be able to stop you until there are no more Starfishes in New York... OK, Everyone Start Pushing Now... <The sound of Lots of splatting Starfish> ;) All The Best... -Wonko The Sane
Congrats and best wishes. Enjoy the honeymoon. Oh, yeah, if ya don't mind tossing a starfish of the tower for me too... -Disallowed
Congrats Riff and Magenta!! -TheSingingTech
Congrats you two! Have a lot of fun and get in a lot of lovin' -Dragones
|
|
18.
New T-shirt Idea
I throwing around some new ideas for shirts (the old ones will not be reprinted). I'm thinking something like the following
- LART implying that the person wearing it is the tool itself
- Got LART? I know the got milk thing has been beat to death, but I thought it was still funny
- A LARTing I will go.
Comments or more suggestions are welcomed
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
" S'cuse me, I just LARTed" -obie099
Tech Softly and Carry a Big LART. -CaffeineHead
- TS3: Rise of the (L)Users -LaserGuru
"For all you do, this LART's for you!" -rokitt
"Let's LART 'n Roll!" "LART it up!" "LART 'em again, Sam"...God, these are lame. -CaffeineHead
Nobody will probably get the 1st one. Maybe "I am the LART" or "Walking LART" or maybe "LART inside". -scooby111
Maybe the definition: "LART (n): Clue-by-4." -chazz
"Its time to LART and load." -virusjtg
"Thus Sayeth the LART"? Or "LART 'em all and let Tech Support sort 'em out"? -CaffeineHead
Scooby, "I am the LART" sounds like "I am the Law". I like! -CaffeineHead
...or "I am the Walrus". As for T-shirt ideas, how about "Have you had your LART today?", "It's LARTin Time!", or "LART: Adjusting Attitudes since 1954" -drblunt
I like "Got LART." How about "To LART or not to LART? That is the question..." as my contribution? -RiffRaff
I really like chazz's suggestion. -ltu1542hvy
LART: For when the can of Whoop Ass just isn't big enough. -Bioguy
RiffRaff, this might be a little better "To LART or not to LART? That is the question... (hint: there IS a correct answer)" :P -Wiser
Good ideas, I think I like "LART Inside" best so far :) -Hawk
i like obie's "'scuse me" one. ;) heeheeh. -mousie
LART to the left! LART to the right! LART down the middle! LART! LART! LART! -TechnoVampire
gah! I guess that means I have to get my t-shirts while they last! -DaSwish
Actually... have you seen those "The Man (down arrow) The Legend (up arrow)" shirts... you could do a "The Man" and "The LART" w/ both having up arrows, but maybe one on front and one on back... -DaSwish
Move all LARTS! For great Justice! -TechnoVampire
The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The LART -testing123
I like Bioguys idea. Lart...when a Can of Whoop Ass isnt enough. That is a CLASSIC ONE....I love it. Laughed so hard when i read it... -ShoNuff
WTF EU? GFY B4 EYE LART U -burrkiss
"Can you SMELLL what the TECH is Larting?" -stpatience
LART for LART's sake ... or... A LART is worth a thousand words ... or ... LART - it's a tech thing -K1W1
"It's just a LART to the left. And then a LART to the right." and "LART first, explain later." -scooby111
OK, got a few: "LART: Ask and Ye SHALL Receive", "Tech Support for Dummies" Ultra small print right underneath"Yes, I mean YOU!", "Spare the LART spoil the EU", "LART: Its not just for Users anymore", and finally:"My LART is broken, can I go home now?" -GargoyleTS
(front) LART - When the release button just doesn't send the proper message (back) PAIN!!!!! -redevil34
A Tech's diet - caffeine, nicotine and LARTing.... -CommanderData
Ooh how about... LART: A Weapon of Mass Instruction -K1W1
Just LART it. -misterallno
Who do you want to LART today? -LaserGuru
LART or Percussive Maintenance . . . Don't make me choose just one. -Sien
Have a LART and a smile - When in doubt, don't! - Even the best wrong answer is still wrong - Support your local tech, RTFM! -Hellion
WWJL - Who would Jesus Lart? -krax
Here's another one: "Can you LART me now? Good!" -RiffRaff
Hang on a minute! I KNEW I should have gopyrighted "A LARTing we will go"
However , another one would be "LART 'em all, let T2 sort 'em out"
or, "LART 'em all, let ER sort 'em out"
(based on a hung-ho T-shirt I once saw "Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out"). -lineswine
Gopyrighted? Copylefted? - Whatever, I should have just stuck my thumbprint on it! -lineswine
LART and the world LARTs with you... -K1W1
"Sometimes the only hardware you need to fix... can be handled by a simple clue and a LART to hammer it in" -WildKard
I love the smell of LART first thing in the morning -RTFM
this way to the LART shelter (arrow pointing down)
<this should be printed at the BACK of the shirt> -slowANDeasy
|
|
19.
New TSC Site Policy
Greetings TSC Readers!
I have received a handfull of complaints over the last month from long time TSC members that the mood of TSC is starting to change. The mood has changed from light hearted ribbing, to outright flaming and threatening of other members. I want to say something about this, and since I'm the webmaster I guess I can say whatever the hell I want. BE NICE! Feel free to cut, slam, swear, scream, whatever gets your point accross about customers, co-workers, bosses, spouses, pets.. BUT NOT OTHER MEMBERS Why? Common damn courtesy is why, because you don't know how they are going to re-act is another reason. You might just piss off the wrong person. Plus it adds to headaches for the webmaster, who has to now figure out what to do about this new problem. New you ask, yes new, TSC has been around for a long time and this is the first set of major complaints about members just being asses lately. So what should we do about this? Any ideas are welcome, don't want to post it? Send it directly to me hawk@techcomedy.com
I don't want moderators, I don't want to have to ban members, I don't want to have to change the posting abilities of members.
I'm going to let this post persist for a couple of days just to make sure all regular posters and readers see this, and I'm going to wait and see if the this new trend of harsh posts stops, if it doesn't, then I guess....something will have to be done.
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Ive only been at TSC a few months and post infrequently, but Ive found it pretty friendly, I do see what you mean with some of the stuff happening here. Im here to be pissed off about lusers and talk to people in the same frame of mind, if we fight amongst ourselves, theres no way we can hold a united defence agains the army of lusers,PS the IRC channel is really friendly more of you should come. -zeedo
What Hawk Said... :P -rockytech
There's plenty of Internet to go have flame wars on. There's no reason we should tolerate it HERE. :) So yeah... agree completely with Hawk. -WildKard
I do tech support for the customers of the company I work for. I don't post much but I read this site everyday. I have to say I have the greatest admiration for the techs that post here. I could never deal with the type of people you do. I was saddened to see all the flaming going on between members. Please don't allow this to keep us from having this forum to go to. I NEED MY TSC!!!!! -anathama
Right on, Hawk! -hkypipe
Ain't that the truth. Just remind me to be nice the next time an 'anti-tech'
pops up around here, k? -MadJack
Works for me mate - more power to your elbow. -lineswine
Uh... I don't know if this is just because I mainly hang out on the Stories page, or whether I'm just naive, but I haven't seen any flaming between members. I hope I never will! -notpitr
My 2¢, u throw out flamebait, u get flamed. Thats just human nature. I can think of only one instance on TSC where things went too far (no need to state the obvious, we all know what I'm refering to). IMHO thats a pretty good track record, overall, as others have pointed out, you just dont get the rankour & crossfire here that u do everywhere else (spend a day cruising ZzzzdNets talkback forums if you doubt that). I saw Obie's post on your whiteboard & I'm genuinely sorry to see him go over this, he's a great guy, but IMHO he's totally over-reacted to a miniscule number of incidents that totally buck the trend here. I love this place, it keeps me in the same zip code as my sanity, I'd really hate to see it start filling up with thought police. -Digital Dogcow
geez, just give it up y'all. There have been 5 threads on something that happened ages ago. -Coward
Hawk, I'm glad you weighed in on this issue. We've had minor flames in the past, but most of the time we get into trouble when we over-step common courtesy or (in my case) carry a sense of familarity a bit too far. I'm sorry if I have offended someone, I really didn't mean to be personally nasty to anyone. I do, however, believe that the members of the TSC Family have a right to ignore posts & comments from persons who are personally offensive. In a way, it's Darwinism (natural selection) among our own - those who are not suitable will eventually join the other fossils in the mire. I hope Obie reconsiders, but that's his choice, as is those of us who choose to continue... -deltree/y
Part of my philosophy is "Insults are like a drink, they only affect you if accepted." I disregard trolls and flames and just carry on with my life. I don't expect everyone to do the same, but it makes for a lot nicer environment of people think about what they post before they do so. -TechnoVampire
I don't know if I have been hiding under a rock recently, but I haven't seen severe LARTing between TSC members, except in a couple of isolated incidents. Saying that, if the tone has gone to bitching about each other rather than about the EUs, bosses, co-workers, software, hardware etc. that it is supposed to then I'm sorry if I've done any of it! -CommanderData
more power to hawk only thing I have to add is maybe a filter or something that will give us an alert to EU espionage -alexcorvice
Heh, let's not turn Hawk into Lowtax, either. [Although seeing this site moved to vBulletin or phpbb -would- be pretty cool.] -cablemodemfox
i have a 20 oz bottle of pennies on my dest, cant we all just get along, kiss and make up, flame ups are a part of human nature, any time you get a group of ppl together eventually some one is gonna get stroked badly, the beauty of a mature logical mind is that you get over it, can we all get over it and move on----the bad is over-----lets get back to bashing lart bait -tuswole1
I have been thinking about this for the past couple of days, Hawk, and I surely wish it were as easy to do as it is to say. Problem is, you have a wide-open board here, and b'Gawd that's the way we like it. But... we've had three trolls come by here in the past little while, perhaps unintentionally trolling, as you're well aware, and there simply isn't any way to prevent that sort of trolling. In fact, you don't even have a FAQ page yet -- though I would suggest this message of yours would make a very good first entry in any such page. But... we still have the issue: apart from locking an account so that member can't post any more under the name he used, or simply nuking all entries by a specific person, we don't have any way or controlling this behaviour... The Friends In Business site does have a similar policy: MaaMaw there says, "This is my living room you're posting messages in, and if I don't like what you're saying, I will throw you out." That sort of control can very easily lead to abuse, but in her case it works because she does only turf those who make a career of being obnoxious. If that is a direction you want to go in, I won't quibble; you've demonstrated to date that you aren't a content nazi even if granted the power to be one. -chazz
I don't post much here either, but I, as many others, read this site almost every day, and I doubt that I would get through a day at work, with my morale intact, without reading these stories. I think that if certain members flame, annoy or in other ways offends other TSC members, maybe there should be some sort of voting/ignore system? How this would be implemented, I don't know, but they have it on other forums around the web... Just a thought. -Cronoz
WHAT THE HELL? I think someone needs help. -Chewdini
Uh... Oh... kay. Is Hawk all right, or...? -cablemodemfox
Ok, thats strange. Did anyone else see that or am I going mad from stress. -Chewdini
|
|
20.
TSC Global Community
Make sure to check out the new map I set up with pics from TSC members. I stayed up till 2:30 last night working on it and am still feeling the effects of that.
http://www.techcomedy.com/globe_images/global_techs.php
Make sure to submit your own photo too, I've automated the process so all you have to do is upload your picture and then php does a resize automatically. Ahh the power of php.
I hope everyone likes it!
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
So...who are all these people? Dogcow? CD? Are either of you in that Wells pic? -CaffeineHead
*waves* That's me in Arlington! -bracketmonkey
Who is that in Beaverton? I'm gonna try to remember to take my digi-cam to work, Friday and make some pics of office craziness. -dragonsfancy
Waaaahaaaay the brits are in a pub gettin pissed (thats Drunk, not angry for u New Word'ers), ah that gives me a warm glow of nationalist pride!. -Digital Dogcow
Me and my coworkers from Indiana, y'all. :) Good work, Hawk! -RiffRaff
Yup, now that I like a lot. I'm looking forwards to seeing more pics, and might post one myself when I get my TSC t-shirt. -FunkyMonkey
Hey, Hawk. Curiosity question here: Why are the two pics from Iowa so far apart on the map? Is that part of the random placement you talked about when you first asked for pictures? -RiffRaff
RiffRaff Honestly I don't know I was tired when I was clicking last night, and probbably just clicked in the wrong area :) -Hawk
Oh, okay. I wasn't criticizing, just interested in how it works. I'm looking forward to seeing more pictures! -RiffRaff
I'm not entirely sure, but I think Indiana and Iowa are invading Canada. Not that I'm against that; I for one welcome our new overlord masters... -WildKard
and someone seems to be tech-ing up in the Northern Manitoba/Saskatchewan less-developped area. My congrats to you if that is the case; I'm all for technology reaching more 'remote' regions... :) -WildKard
I'm the ugly bast*rd in Beaverton... -obie099
BTW, Awesome work, Hawk! -obie099
I've just submitted a picture of myself (and another) to the site so it might be there later..... -CommanderData
and that's ME in Insane Diego! -notpitr
Did I mention to anyone today, I'm fucking tired. But I'm glad it looks like people are able to submit pictures and it is doing the resizing quite nice! -Hawk
Course, I've just thought of somethink (oopsie, pitr mode there for a sec), the UK being such a small place is my poor little circle gonna be hidden by the great mass of Wells? -CommanderData
And now I know why you don't want to be mistaken for Pitr, notpitr. It's true, you do look a lot like him. Spooky. -CaffeineHead
"I'm the ugly bast*rd in Beaverton..." I sure hope no one asks which one now that I'm posting one too! LOL!! -Shai
CafHead: The resemblance doesn't end there, I'm also an Evil Genius..... -notpitr
No wories there, Shai, Twixt you and I, you'll be the pretty one, k? -obie099
Gotta wonder how many marriage proposals Shai's had from other TSC members since posting that pic! -CaffeineHead
|
|
21.
TSC is 3 years old
TSC is 3 years old, in celebration I'm dropping the price of all the shirts in the store by $5. Make sure to get a mug too :) ONLY TODAY!
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
WOOHOO! Happy Birthday!!!!!!! WTG, Hawk!
Thanks for the idea and the hard work keeping this going. -obie099
[sing mode]Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear TSC, Happy Birthday to you[/sing mode] and many happy returns !!! (congrats Hawk !!!) -ExTechGirl
Congratulations, Hawk! You've done a great job making TSC successful. Here's to many more happy TSC anniversaries! -RiffRaff
Well done Hawk! TSC is excellent (hey, I paid for the star didn't I?), a great place for techies to rant, have a good laugh and go off on complete tangents from time to time. Never have I felt such a part of a community before. -CommanderData
wonderful present! I'm in debt, but the rest of you have no excuse for not buying these. ;) -WildKard
Congrats Hawk! And thank you thank you thank you for the great laughs. Techcomedy is definitely the website I visit most often. I ordered the credit card t-shirt yesterday. Looking forward to it!!!! -grahamwboyes
|
|
22.
TSC is back UP!
TSC was down since 12:30 A.M. Central Time but is back up. We were not slashdotted or farked, nothing cool like that. Hardware problems, nothing a little reboot/power down could not fix. Thanks to LittleJon, and Slacker for getting it back up and running. So no need for panic TSC is back:)
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
I almost DID panic. I don't know if I could make it through a workday without it, even on a Fri! -Skywalker1044
i wondered why i had the first post of the day.
*goes off to slashdot this site* -damiensmith
I thought something was a little funny. Maybe an EU incursion? Glad to see the claymores held them back! -flare
I can't believe you Hawk, you made me go out on the internet and actually look up important information. Because of this little "Hardware Failure" I paid a couple of bills online and even did some of my backed up email support at work. I had forgotten the internet had more than TSC and porn. -MightyMouse
I fired a live claymore once that was really f*#King cool, that was a long time ago.......(Hawk stares blankly thinking back on his Military past). Sorry MightyMouse, but TSC is back, and your pron is always available, at least some helpdesk mail got answered :) -Hawk
The internet has more than TSC and porn? But seriously, I was totally jonesing for a TSC fix. -Bioguy
Did anyone else notice Druid1 became the 4000th member! -Hawk
Yup, we're over the 4000 now. -n8
I was freaking out!! Thought they blocked the site or something. -Pilkster
Thank GOD! I thought I was actually going to have to *WORK* today! <Breathes huge sigh of relief> Congrats on your membership Hawk. You gonna throw a party when you hit 10,000? -RiffRaff
Yeah! Lan Party at Hawk's place! -TechnoVampire
<dream sequence> There must be a problem with my ISP. I can't get www.techcomedy.com but I can get all other sites...it's YOUR PROBLEM! </dream sequence> What a nightmare, I dreamt that TSC was down and I was acting like a (L)User about it. All is good, it's back up! -techskier
I was worried for a while there that IT had noticed my constand feed of TSC and correlated with management to determine that this was the cause of my lack of productivity and blocked the site, then I realized that would require some kind of coordination thus could not be true. Is there a way I can get TSC through an IV like morphine? Would sure make my day easier :) -DarthLuke
Hmmmm so I LARTed all those students today for no good reason?....ah well, no loss. -Digital Dogcow
Hey DD, who needs a reason to LART students? Their existence alone is reason enough! Ho ho, Ho ho, a-LARTing we will go -lineswine
Test -Hawk
Test -Hawk
|
|
23.
Paper Jam
Lady from a local newspaper called, said she was trying to
fax something to us and her fax machine read:
[Paper Jam]
She was wondering if we could
clear the paper jam here so it could go through.
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Hang on Ma'am I'll just go get David Blaine for ya, he's doing farkin card tricks in the next cube over -Digital Dogcow
Yet another sterling example of the "I'm-perfect-so-the-problem-can't-possibly-be-on-my-end" Syndrome. There is currently no vaccine for this syndrome, but the symptoms can be easily eliminated with a 12-gauge deer slug. -RiffRaff
She actually thought that...it meant YOUR fax machine had a paper jam! BWAAAHAAAHAAAA! -hkypipe
oh my......... -virusjtg
Not even the Mighty Hawk is immune..... -notpitr
Of course, not, NP. If he was, we'd all be reading Techtales. -MadJack
|
|
24.
New Star Member Perks
Attention all Star Members and members thinking about becoming one.
To make being a Star Member even cooler, besides the star and the shirt, you now have the ability to use limited HTML when you submit stories to TSC
Check it out in the members area, it will automatically detect your star membership status and give you the new submission pages.
You can currently do the folllowing HTML tags
- Italics
- Unordered Lists
- New Lines
- Paragraphs
- Underline
In addition to the HTML addition, star members can also update their signature for the message board.
http://www.techcomedy.com/members/edit_info.php
Look near the bottom of the page.
Thanks everyone who is a star member your dollars are going to good use!
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
SOLD! Just wait till i get enough money in my cc account, one question, is it americain or general funds? -damiensmith
One more reason to get that coveted gold star, c'mon ppl, only 22 sign ups so far, that woudnt make the monthly payment on my speedboat (wait!, I dont have a farkin speedboat!, damn I'm fantasing again!). A measly 35 bucks to support TSC, cough up, u know u want to. -Digital Dogcow
Yeah, what DD said. Reading this site keeps me sane at work. (OK, a little less crazy, whatever). Supporting it is Good Karma, and will make Kibo like you. -TechnoVampire
I plan on getting my gold star on my next paycheck. After all, I can't let DigiCow have all the fun. -RiffRaff
but what currancy is used???? -damiensmith
The currancy is US Dollars -Hawk
And worth every penny, so far!!!! -obie099
35 bucks american.... thats about 40 canadian. Yeah, next paycheck Hawk! -damiensmith
I thought 35 USD= 7.2 million $CAN. :) -Robster2001
Last I looked, $35 US is about C$52. -chazz
$ 53.24 CAN. Thats 1670.166 Indian Rupees for any Dell Techies in the house ;0) -Digital Dogcow
Ok - Sold...
-Wonko The Sane
Ok, alright... IM sold already. its the best 53 dollar tee i will get. Right guys? right??? -damiensmith
Your T-shirt is free, your $53 CAN buys u the warm glow of satisfaction of knowing ur helping THE best techies site on the web. (not to mention the good Karma of making sure Hawks new sprog isnt weaned on Raimens Noodles) ;0) ...... Dammit Hawk am I getting commission for all these sales pitches ?? heh heh -Digital Dogcow
Hi, I saw all the other star members reply, so I thought I'ld add to the list. -n8
What is that in Aussie dollars? about $70? -Splunge
*cries* I would, but I have no money...(no, really. My allowance went for subway fare. I'm freakin' BROKE!) And if it was up to me, I'd pay! Really! -Vertigo
Save me a start for when I crawl out the mountain of debt St.Ream inflicted by no unemployment. -MadJack
And a fine use of those 1670.166 Indian Rupees (winking to my fellow nearly-displaced Earthlink INsourcers)... too bad it will take those 'techs' three weeks to earn that much dough. -Mushroom
It's money well spent, now, of course I have to learn me some HTML to take advantage of this nifty little trick Hawk has introduced....damn, more studying. -CommanderData
*drool* unordered lists *drool* -WildKard
*drools on keyboard* BZZZZZZZZT!!! weeeee... -Wiser
OK, count me in -lineswine
Don't worry CD, learning HTML is just like falling off a log... it hurts. -SparcMan
Fotrunately Hawks gone to the trouble of setting it up with little clickable buttons, no HTML smarts required, almost easy enough that an EU could use it!, (HEY! I did say ALMOST). -Digital Dogcow
OK. Enough of the nagging, I've got a Star, but its a bit tight around the shoulders.... ;)
-Wonko The Sane
Hawk, when do the rest of us mortals get access to your time machine ? - Well this post is dated 14 Feb, and today is only 10 Feb (Or is that only avaible to Platinum Stars... ? ) ;) -Wonko The Sane
Hawk, when do the rest of us mortals get access to your time machine ? - Well this post is dated 14 Feb, and today is only 10 Feb (Or is that only avaible to Platinum Stars... ? ) ;) -Wonko The Sane
Maybe someday I'll have the money. I drive an SUV (hence the username) and I spend lotsa money on gas. -suvdrivah
Wonko, the time machine is only available to me :) BTW Wonko I sent you an email did you get it?, suvdrivah $35 is less then one fillup for you I bet! I'm making this post somewhat persistant, just because I know everyone does not visit the site daily, and I wanted to make sure people knew about the new features :) -Hawk
I just had one of my worst days EVER at work. I was in a foul mood, not even the thought of killing in UT2003 made me happy (headshot!). Anyway I got home and found that my TSC t-shirt had arrived. Gave me a warm feeling of knowing that I am not alone in tech hell. Looks good too :) -Chewdini
Anyone else detecting that Hawk has a more serious "pampers" addiction? -obie099
I agree. It's well worth the money to support a site that I get so much enjoyment out of. Now, I'll have to join just as soon as I have more than $-113 after payday. Sorry Hawk. It'll have to wait a month or two. -scooby111
Eveyone has talked me into it. But I must wait till the snow and ice melt so I can drive my wife's 2wd drive car and save gas money. I can't get out of my yard without 4wd in the winter. -suvdrivah
All you mooks who've read all the comments above and haven't signed up yet need to know one thing: the T-shirt works GREAT for picking up chicks! (Now if only I could get it to work for picking up GUYS, I'd be very happy.....) -notpitr
I've still not got my t-shirt yet but I am itching to know what it looks like now!!! -CommanderData
|
|
25.
Merry Christmas from TSC
Hey, I just wanted to wish all the members of TSC a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! And when the clock strikes 12:00 on new years eve, and your all sloppy drunk, don't do anything stupid. But if you do make sure to post it when you come back to work :) Feel free to make any shout outs to other TSC members on this post- TSC Webmaster
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Have a happy happy and a merry merry too. :) Remember, if you're really good, maybe Santa will send a team of LART wielding elves to all your trouble (L)users! Though I doubt it. ;) Peace. -NightRaven
I want to wish all my new found friends here a very MERRY CHRISTMAS. I'm working now and I know a lot of you are working as well. I extend Season Greetings to you and your families from me and my family!! :) -rokitt
Long time reader, first time writer, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanuka <sp>, Happy Kwanzaa, etc, etc, etc. -SwedishChef
Happy Holidays to all. Be careful about wishing nasty sh1t to the (L)users over the holidays. Remember, we have to fix what they break :) -demonknight2001
Merry X-Mas to everyone here from the work desk of hell..... -The Bard
Merry Christmas everyone...looking forward to all the post-Christmas stories resulting from new (l)users....."I just got a new computer/laptop for Christmas and...." -n8
Merry Christmas. Hey, can Star Members get the fancy colors? Puhleeeze? -Gecko
Merry Christmas and Happy Hangovers. Uh, happy holidays. Everyone take time to enjoy the festive season 'till we get back to "My great grand kids got me a computer....". Just remember, if you have to work New years day, the callers are as drunk as you are, so it doesn't really matter :-) -Disallowed
Happy Holidays to all. Special shout-outs to Mush, Obie, and the Coyote...wherever you are! -hkypipe
Happy Yule to all! I'm looking forward to going back to work, I just know my boss' 2 year old son will have stuck candy in his CD-RW drive again... -CommanderData
Merry Christmas to all in Tech Support - Remember a luser is for life, not just Christmas. - Here's hoping Santa brings you all a Clue by 4 {(C) BOFH} to train them with... -Wonko The Sane
Happy [if $USER=pagan then "Yule" elseif $USER=jewish then "Belated Hanukkah" elseif $USER=atheist then "Winter" else "Christmas"]! -notpitr
And I heard Jman say as he drove out of sight..."Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night." -TheJman
Seasons Greetings (seems generic enough). -TechnoVampire
And I heard luser say as he drove out of sight..."You'll hear from my lawyer, prepare for a fight!." -LadiesMan402
"I understand that you're frustrated, Mr. Claus, but our vendor won't be out from Nome to repair your T1 until Friday. Yes, downloading flight plans.. I suppose you could do that over dialup-- yes I'm serious.. No, Mr. Claus, there is NO ONE ELSE HERE that can help you with your connection issues..." Merry Christmas, everybody. :) -alighieri
Happy Holidays to all the members of TSC and may tomorrow be a better day. -ab1normalh
The worst part about Christmas is the onslaught of new users who power up their machines on Boxing Day. And to all, a good night. -Mushroom
Happy Trails. -Kurgan
Merry Christmas to all TSC readers, just think:- Santa has just created LOTS of new lusers, & they'll be keeping us in stories for a LOOOONG time!
Remember - just as PCs get smarter and smarter, lusers get dumber & dumber! -lineswine
have a merry Christmas...I hope none of you have are sactually at work today (even if I am here *sniff*) -Ryoga
|
|
26.
New TSC Site
First of all I would like to start out by saying this is not a message board, and what I am posting
should not go here, but hey what the hell! I wanted to get everyone's attention
I wanted to give all you active members a headsup on the
new site that is coming down the pipe very soon. So soon I can taste it (2-3 weeks max).
Here are some exciting new additions to the site:
- Cool New Look - But of course!.... I took out the frame functionality, but still kept the
pages simple for quick downloads. The frames were really hampering TSC's search engine placement.
- Easier Navigation - From the home page you will be able to click on a link to view the newest
content submitted one submission at a time, I love this new feature and I'm sure you will too.
No longer will you have to hunt through the tech stories page for the newest content.
- Comment on Whatever You Want - You will be able to comment on everything from Tech Stories
to EUPOTD'S
- New Webserver - Switching to Apache, sorry Caudium!
- Last thing Said in IRC - To drive interest toward TSC's IRC chat channel I programmed
a bot that reports back the last thing said in the chat channel. This is then displayed on the
home page.
- Tech Video - I have received a handfull of video clips over the years, and I finally
got enough to warant them having a page. I even posted "Dance Monkey Boy" the great clip of MS CEO
sweating up a storm.
- Tech Calls - Ohh your going to love the new calls, plus I have converted all the old
calls to MP3 format.
- Member Search - You can now do detailed searches on the member database, to possibly
find some friends
- Member Area - There is going to be a member area that you will be able to login to.
In the member area you will find:
- The ability to delete content you have posted, this will come in handy for those people
that accidentally post something they did not want to, or if you employer asks you to :)
- A very cool message board were techs can post questions for help, plus discuss other
issues related to tech support.
- Headline grabber from some news sites (slashdot, linuxtoday).
Changing Times
As some of you have noticed
I'm no longer looking for a sponsor of the site. No support company would touch TSC with a 20 foot pole,
its too risky, I guess it would be a PR nightmare. So I'm going to do some other things to try and
generate some funding for TSC. Because I love working on it, but I have projects that I make money on,
that come before development on a site that I don't. So I decided to do couple of things to try and
accomplish that. I started out by creating two levels of membership. Now you are probably saying, what the heck!
or maybe even something more irate. But hear me out. All current and new members will have the
option to become a "Star Member", which will cost $35 a year. The $35 gets you two things, a very
cool members only TSC t-shirt (which I'm picking up the first batch tomorrow), plus every time you
post on TSC, a small star graphic will display to the left of your nick. The star graphic and the
membership status will just show your support of the site. Member's who don't want to become
"Star Members" don't have to, and they will still get all same privileges they always have,
just minus the cool shirt, and sweet star graphic next to their postings. In addition to the membership status, I'm starting a new sister site to help fund TSC and
future tech support related websites. Its going to be www.techsupportstore.com. I'm trying to
make the opening of the store be at the same time of the unveiling of the new TSC site redesign.
The store will contain a limited number of items at first, because I don't have a ton of capital
to fund this store.
The initial store will have the following products:
- Cordless/Standard GN Netcom Headsets
- Tech Support Novelty T-shirts
- Red Swingline Staplers/Office Space Movie
- Gerber Multi Function Hand Tool
- GFY Coffee Mug (my favorite acronym - Go F*$K Yourself)
- Cubical Posters
- Tux (Linux Mascot) Stuffed Animal wearing a Headset
This store will help fund the continued development of TSC, instead of just having a new site redesign
every year or two. Plus offer a unique place where you can find products that are of particular interest
to people working in tech support. I encourage everyone to browse through the shop site once it is up,
and make any suggestions for new products on the message board.
The star membership status, and the tech support store will help fund TSC's development (which I always
have ideas for), plus maybe more tech support related websites. I'm hoping that these new additions
to TSC will be welcomed by members, and that you will show your support.
Let the comments begin
Hawk - TSC Webmaster
[By: Hawk]
Comment on Story
Comments
Are the backgrounds for the stories going to be changing? -Coward
Sweet I can't wait!! All I need now is a raise to support the site and my drinking habit. -ericksok
The backgrounds will be all set to white, the font color will be alternating, between black, and the light green color. -Hawk
Sign me up! -notpitr
Got a version we can test drive? -TechnoVampire
35 bucks? Is that all? I can make that just turning in my beer cans. -Brf
That bright green really hurts my eyes... and I just got my monitor set the way I want it. Howabout customizable colors, or purple, or something? -Coward
D@mnit, i got so excited I tried to go to the TechsupportStore to get my GFY mug and it sent me here. Hawk you need help coding the site, cause im in. I need a mug too. -ShoNuff
Sounds great!
What I've always wanted to see in a store were posters - big ones - detailing simple things like installation of PCI cards, different types of RAM, and why you can't install four IDE drives in a PC and have them all on Master. These are things I used to get asked several times a day when I was working and would have been useful for the new guys. -grahamwboyes
Sounds really good to me. I really like the idea of being able to comment on all categories. I'm sure others have submitted "stories" that really should have been in other threads, but they wanted others to be able to comment on it. This will make things a lot easier. I'll also be interested in seeing the store, I need a new coffee mug. -deltree/y
Will all of the current content make the move%3F -firebird2k2
YEAH! I cant wait for the store to open, I have been dying to wear some TSC stuff to work on Casual days. Will the URL for TSC be changing? -Deep Logic
Hawk, this new stuff sounds e-mazing! I'll gladly donate to the coolest site I've ever been a part of -paul
I second the motion to allow an open beta of sorts. New members, and old members alike, just to sort out all the bugs before 'going live'. I for one would gladly pay you 35 smackers right this very instant for just that opportunity alone. You have a great site here Hawk, I visit it at least 3 times a week alone, and I am just your run of the mill geek. -Gecko
I so need a GFY mug. :) And yes, you will be getting $35 from me, I'd be a bastard if verbose little me didn't kick in. :) Lead on. Your changes sound pretty tasty! I can hardly wait for your store. As for not getting sponsors... That is pretty wonked. Most flippin' wArEz/krackz sites have sponsors (not always pr0n either), heck Microsoft is a huge sponsor of cdfreaks.com, two ads per page! But hey, we like the pure unadulterated look of TSC anyway, we don't need no steeenking sponsors. :) -Mushroom
Sounds awesome... the first website 'redesign' in a long time that I've been looking forward to; rather then "aw crap, I can't find anything anymore". ;) But then again... the Internet law says the bigger the power behind a website, the more screwed up it gets. -WildKard
Will the new store sell E.U hunting license, or cans of shut the hell up?? -youpeople
Don't forget us Seasonly plump Techs. 3X shirts are what I wear. -raibeart
Count me in, at least for the first $35. We'll see about annually. This is tech support, after all, and where I work, job security might last until the end of your current shift!
(and raibert, you're just getting warmed up, I'm a 4xt) -obie099
I decided to do a mass reply just incase someother people have the same questions, instead of writing back to everyone.
Sorry no test drive of the site, some major components are not inplace, and I don't want anyone trying to buy or register anything just yet. You know me I'll release the site, and watch the bugs scatter and then stomp them out one at a time. The poster idea is a good one grahmwboyes, I'll keep that in mind. To firebird2k all the content is ofcourse going to transfer. To answer Deep Logic's question, the URL will always be www.techcomedy.com, the store will just have an alias. To Mushroom's question, I mainly approached tech support related organizations, and had a couple of good bites, but then they thought about it. I would much rather not have any sponsors anyway. E.U. Hunting License is a good idea too! As for us fat techs, I went as far as 2X for the first batch, once we get 20 star members, I will order some bigger ones too. Shoot me an email if you would like to be reminded when the bigger sizes come in. As for help coding the site, its a definate possiblity, we will have a nice discussion on it in the new message board area, when the time comes to entertain that idea. I'm getting alot of emails about the GFY mug, they are going to be a cubical classic I can see already. Ohh one more thing to mention, I've been coresponding with James Sharman the author of the old badtech.com. And it looks very positive the TSC will become the official archive of the old comic strip badtech! I'll let you all know when I get a solid Go on that. That is all for now, later! -Hawk
I deffinately want to get a t-shit (large) and would like to get a mug too, will checkout the techstore when it's online, any idea yet if shipping will be free? :) Can't wait to see the new sites design-sounds wicked cool. -BluRaven
Some of us Live overseas, Will there be a different price for Members with 'T' shirt, as P&P will be - Ouch! - Yours from the former Masters of the USA... (The UK - you know, the ones whose tea you didn't like...?) -Wonko The Sane
Hawk -- Only one thing. When you're putting together the store merchandise, please remember that we work in _cubicles_ not _cubicals_ -- even though some of them are cubical, that word is an adjective, not a noun. -chazz
I propose that we get a "tech tips" area for the new site, some of the stories/comments here could really help @ the right time...:) -jackywebdesign
jacky - A previous rendition of this site did have tech tips and references; unsure why Hawk got rid of it. :) raibeart & obie - Having seen you two, I will agree that larger shirts are in order, muahhaha! (hiding under my cube) Hawk, good to hear that BadTech will be joining us. Now, as for the original TSC Comic.... I'm missin' John-Boy here. :) -Mushroom
Hey, we can't all be thin and beautiful like you, Mushy! =) -obie099
*trying to figure out what a Tshit is...* -mikederr
Sounds good to me, all the more reason to keep at this job(as if there was a good reason to begin with). However, I would like to know if any of the TSC member submitted content make way its way onto the t-shirts or novelties? Maybe such items as "Misconceptions" or "Tech Rules" could be inspiring. Just a suggestion. Many of us will be paying for it, so why the hell not. -Internet Monkey
Sorry about the grammar screw up in that last post post, I meant to ask:
I would like to know if any of the TSC member submitted content could make its way onto the t-shirts or novelties? -Internet Monkey
Sign me up! Where do I send the check? -Alistir
Do you take pennies? -Screamer
What else is there, Screamer? -obie099
If our content can make it to a shirt, I want one with something posted a long time ago: something about the two phrases you don't want to hear are "they're building a BestBuy in Arkansas" and "let's buy Grandma a computer." :) -Mushroom
Count me in, I smell a Christmas present from my family in the form of membership. Hell, they're getting off cheap! -numbmind
|
|
Customer Misconceptions
|
1.
100% Uptime
[2002-12-17]
|
|
|
2.
That webservers never go down!
[2002-10-24]
|
|
|
3.
They think you can see their computer screen.
[2000-10-18]
|
|
|
4.
The right mouse button is never to be used.
[2000-10-18]
|
|
|
5.
That yahoo is the internet
[2000-09-28]
|
|
|
6.
That they can write their own CGI's and we will just throw them up on our servers for them so they can fuck them up!
[2000-08-28]
|
|
Tech Rules
Customer Types
1.
Trailer Park Trash Housewife
You all know her, she has the raspy voice, the 5 or more screaming kids in the background. This customer
deserves absolutely no respect, let alone help from someone as gifted as yourself. She
will ocasionlly throw out the F word, letting you know that she means buisness. Her problems
always have something to do with some damn chat program "which you don't support" not working.
This customer will continue to hound you until you help her, or give her some other tech support
number that she can call, and harass the next poor basterd.
Submitted by: Hawk
[2000-11-18]
|
|
2.
Old Lady from Hell
This catagory should be broken down into two seperate sub groups, the grouchy old hag, and the just
stupid nice lady. Both of them tell you that this is their first computer, and have had a class at the
local college, which did not do a damn bit of good. There problems are always the same, it is either;
1. I can't get my e-mail, or 2. I can't open this attachement. Both problems can keep a tech on the phone
for entirely too damn long! With the nice old lady you can refer her to the help section located in the progra
m,
but the grumpy old lady takes much more skill to end in a successfull call termination.
Submitted by: Hawk
[2000-11-18]
|
|
3.
Old Man from Hell
Old men are a breed of their own, a slow breed, a very slow breed. When asked what problem they are having
they tend to pause and reflex on the question itself. If an answer is not obtained after 10 seconds you must
hang up the phone, you have a person who needs more help then you can offer. Most of the older gentlemen like
to use the words like "Alpha" and "Bravo", when telling you what their password is. When they use words like t
his
in telling you their password, be warned they have been in a major world war in the past. They probbably still
have
some gernades hanging around in their basement that still could blow up your vehicle. I emphasize tact when ta
lking
to old veteran users.
Submitted by: Hawk
[2000-11-18]
|
|
4.
Young Kid who Knows Too Much
I know I was not in front of a computer when I was six, but this type of customer has been. He's usually aroun
d the age
of 12 to 14, and could probbably figure it out on his own, instead chooses to bother you. The question they ha
ve are the
hard ones, that you really don't know the answer to off the top of your head. Usually you have to go check out
a website
or ask a co-worker, this is your opportunity to put the little shit on hold. Keep him there for about 5 minute
s, come back
to him tell him you almost have the answer. Yes put him on hold again, this will ensure that his first experie
nce with tech
support is a bad one, young minds need to be molded, you must do your part to help.
Submitted by: Hawk
Crabby Bitch
The name says it all, she is bleeding and shes going to let you have it one way or another. Listen to her and
try really
hard not to laugh, if your not in the laughing mood, try really hard not to hang up. These are the customers w
ho if you
do hang up on them will call your boss, come down to your work and talk to your boss, and drop a really bad e-m
ail to the
helpdesk "that everyone in the office gets" telling all what a horrible employee you are. I reccomend riding t
he wave out, listen
to her bitches about how slow her connection is, how offten she gets dropped or about how stupid your company p
olicy's are. Remember
to always tell her you will bring these concerns up in the next meeting, and never tell her that you actually d
on't have meetings.
Submitted by: Hawk 5/24/00
[2000-11-18]
|
|
Co-Worker Types
1.
The Anti OS Tech
This tech will proclaim that they have no idea how to work with a particular OS, and that
they have no business even trying to help a customer using this alien Operating System. 2001-02-21 By:Hawks
[2001-02-21]
|
|
Customer E-mails
1.
Subject: HorseShit
I'm so tired of erratic service from "INSERT ISP HERE", that I will not renue my
subscription, and I will not promote you guys to anyone else. Please, at
the end of my paid-up subscription, cancel my membership.
You should be ashamed of yourselves for doing such a horseshit job.
2001-01-24 By:Hawk
[2001-01-24]
|
|
2.
Subject:My email is not working
Could someone from your helpdesk please call me, because me email is not working.
(I always wonder how it is possible to e-mail the helpdesk when your e-mail is not working?) 2001-01-22 By:Hawk
[2001-01-22]
|
|
EUPOTD (End User Phrase of the Day)
|
