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Here is all the content that Jeckler has contributed to Tech Support Comedy.

Tech Stories


1. Welcome to deployment hell
We use Altiris DS to push new software packages to our user community. We just started an upgrade a couple days ago. Part of the process is that the user has to remember to log off their machine before leaving for the night, so our package installer user account can log in and run automagically. So far we have many users that forget to log off and instead simply lock their workstations. The first thing that greets them in the morning is a bright yellow box wanting to perform the upgrade.... which takes a couple hours. So those people are mad. Oh well, shouldve done what you were told. Even worse though is those that come in and see that our installer user account is logged into the machine, and has the screen locked. Actually, I don't think they see who's logged on, and try to unlock the machine with their password. Our lockout policy is 5 attempts. When we're pushing to 150 machines, all it takes is 5 different people 1 try to lock the account. Thankfully it self-unlocks after 30 inutes, but in the meantime, it wreaks havoc on all the other machines. Ahhh, only 2800 more machines to go.
[By: Jeckler]
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Comments

  • Ahh, Altiris, how I hate thee. Let me count the ways.. -NightSteel
  • Push out a forced shutdown then startup package to all machines first, then the upgrade. -DazZler
  • We went through the same thing at my work when we rolled out an updated AV client. Some of the remote locations can take an hour and a half to install the client. I really enjoyed the calls where the user would tell me that their pc says something about something installing and I'd just laugh at them (yes, on the phone) and tell them they're SOL for an hour and a half! -Caboose447
  • Our network people have set up Altiris so most things run as a background task. For the rest it wake-on-lan overnight, if you don't do what you're told and shut down at night it's your own fault if you are forced to wait. -AussieFoot
  • Shoot your Altiris packager. There are better ways than this, and the end user should not even know something needed to run. -NightRain
  • 2. Actual Product Name of the Day
    Microwave Office. Google it.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Mircowave design product. wonder if it will cook the popcorn faster. Linkage: http://web.awrcorp.com/Usa/Products/Microwave-Office/ -DarkRookie
  • We place the popcorn bag just -here-, then we open a big file on the server... -MeasureThrice
  • Microwave Office® has been around for a while. I'm a RF/Microwave Engineer and I've used it before. -MSimmons777
  • <poke> <poke> Crap, the center of my data is still frozen. -Biosynthetic
  • 3. But it worked yesterday
    This http://www.techcomedy.com/single/single.php?content_number=78063 made me remember this story. Monday noon-time I get a request to look at an HP8150 printer with a fuser error. Went to it, tried a couple things, determined printer was dead, so drug it onto a cart and brought it back to my desk. Needs a LVPS. Yesterday I get another request from another user asking where the printer is. Called her up and said it was dead, on my desk, parts may take a week to get. She tells me "it was working yesterday morning!" Well, probably, then it stopped, which is where I came in. She then asks this gem; "Are you sure?" <sarcasm>No, I felt like inconviencing you for a week and dragging an 80lb printer back to my desk for the hell of it</sarcasm>, Bitch.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • <tasteless alert> somebody here came up with the gem , "Well, Grandpa was alive yesterday, too. Your point?" </tasteless> -CTYankee
  • Open up the dead LVPS and see if the fuse has toasted - you can get replacement fuses at almost any hardware store. If the fuse is good though that means the circuit board is toast and you're waiting for the parts (did you order from partsurfer? they do overnight delivery no extra charge if you are in the states). -frprinterwiz
  • No fuse. There's a circuit breaker on the main line, but nothing else on the board. -Jeckler
  • So the Luser is missing a fuse? Nothing unusual there... -unrenowned
  • Don't Drug the printers! HP have a strict no Drug policy, you're violating the license... -Xeauron
  • 4. More fun in Minnesota - 1
    Two days after the hand sanitizer incident I managed to do something that completely blew any credibility I *might* have had with the users here. We 5 are a group that get along extremely well together and got away with all kinds of acts that would make most people go "ewww" over the 8 days we've been here. From last Tuesday through Monday it's only been us and a few management types that have left us alone. Monday that all changed with the users coming back from Easter and us running around getting profiles moved from the old domain to the new. Anyway, yesterday we're all standing around talking about a couple issues and I found I had some pressure that was ready to be released. Not paying attention, I stuck my ass out of my temp-cube to the guys standing in the walkway and let one fly. I had broccoli and asparagus as part of dinner the night before, so I'm sure you can draw your own conclusion as to the magnitude of what came out. I turned back around and was face to face with one of the users who had wandered over looking for some assistance. She very quickly mumbled something to the affect of "excuse me", and walked past us, around the corner and disappeared.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Epic LART...or FART...err...whatever... :) -fdiskcuresall
  • 5. Minnesota - 2
    The whole exchange took about 10 seconds, with me standing there with my jaw on the floor and the heat rising in my face. Then someone snickered. It was all over at that point. We spent the next 5 minutes laughing hysterically, with one guy almost throwing up he was laughing so hard. Tears were streaming too, and not just from the laughter, IYKWIM. To add insult to injury, I had to go help a user with a problem a couple hours later. When I got to the cube and turned the corner, IT WAS HER! Somehow I managed to keep a straight face, and proceeded to work the issue, all the while trying to make as little noise as possible and completely avoiding eye contact. It didn't help that a couple of the other techs would come by and make off-hand comments. One of them said later that he thought when he was doing something nearby that she mentioned Beano to a neighbor. This morning I'm out doing something, for her actually, and come back to my desk to find a bottle of Beano on my desk, along with a note purpotedly from the user saying it might help me. The same tech said he saw her around our area about 30 minutes prior. I knew something was up with these screwballs though as the only two places I had been that morning was my desk, and hers.. They finally fessed up when I said I was going to buy a bag of candy and leave it for her. I can't wait to get out of here.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Hmm, fart story related to tech solely based on the work performed at some time around the incident. -JTSBrown
  • Where in the state are you working, Jeckler? Minnesota has been a bit spring-like over the last week or so, at least here in the Twin Cities... 40 degree temps, etc. Feels kind of nice to walk out to the car and take my jacket off to get into a car that's been warming in the sun. -Voz
  • Where you at Jeckler? Maybe we can meet up for a beer or 12 -deskmonkey
  • So, have you cleared the air with that user yet? -Stryker One
  • Great story. I fart in your general direction. ;-) :D :D :D -TheGhost
  • We're staying in Edina. The site is in SW Bloomington. We're only here two more nights and have plans already. As an aside, we went to Fogo De Chau last night, so the gas situation today isn't much better today than it was yesterday. -Jeckler
  • Another winning Maalox Moment... -vacuumtubes
  • I don't think I've laughed so hard in days. I'm just glad I wasn't drinking anything. -NanoGeek
  • 6. Be careful with %EXAMPLENAME%
    In a meeting the other day with some folks in our lab, the discussion turned to how we were going to migrate user data in a domain change. The simple solution was a rename of the profile. In giving an example, I explained that domain1 uses firstname.lastname for login ID's, and domain2 is lastnamefirstinitial. "For instance, a user on domain1 logs in with Joe.Blow, so once we switch to domain2, he'll log in as..." and before I could stop myself "BlowJ...and.... crap" as laughter fills the room from those attending as well as the two folks on the phone who we just met. Luckily we were able to get back on track rather quickly, but it was a little warmer in the room from then on.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Wow, uhm....yeah....*sends some karmic hugs your way* oh..and a *HIGH FIVE* that's an awesome slip, thanks for the chuckle. -ponch
  • Ooo, nicely done, Jeckler! -ManyHats
  • I'm glad I had put my drink down BEFORE I read this! -NanoGeek
  • I do believe I may start using a different example name. This is a riot though. -PCChaos
  • I bet THAT "went down" well! -lineswine
  • 7. In one ear.....
    ME: "Press F8 when you see the BIOS splash screen to get to the Windows boot menu." EU: "I see the Windows screen with the lines on the bottom." ME: "Ok, when it gets to the logon prompt, press Ctrl-Alt-Del, then restart it without logging in, and we'll try again.". 10 seconds later I hear the Windows startup sound. ID10T.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • The problem is probably that he's slow. You're asking someone to read something that's changing. -Loren
  • 8. Call the coroner!
    Ticket I received this morning: "Code on the printer: 900 Service and under that RIP: Software". A wake will be held this Friday.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Ahhh, Lexmark; we hardly knew ye. -LaserGuru
  • "...STRIKE!"</I wonder how abscure this one is.> -ShujinTribble
  • 9. OT: 30 Days; Outsourcing
    Tonight at 9PM (EDT, MDT, I don't know...T) on FX Networks is a show called 30 Days. Someone goes and does something totally opposite of their normal life. Last week it was a Minuteman spending a month with a family of illegal immigants in Los Angeles. Tonight it's a laid off software engineer spending a month in India, living and working with people working for US and other companies. Read more about it at http://www.fxnetworks.com
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Oops, 10PM... sorry. -Jeckler
  • ARRRGHHH!!!! Began a <re-org> yesterday, many cups! Continued <re-org> today, More cups! more shit going to India. I figgure my next assigment is out there <> getting their Operations set up for my co. <I realllllly don't want to go to India for six months> -AngrySup
  • Aside from that <rant>, I realllllly don't want to go, but I'll catch it on TV. -AngrySup
  • I saw the first season of 30 days, really good stuff from Morgan Spurlock of Supersize Me fame. -modeski
  • COming next week: A Tech Support technician gets a low-stress, non-dealing-with-customers, high-paying job? -FredKlein
  • They got that one wrong, I think the point would be even more powerful if the corporate axe man had to spend the 30 days with the Indian family. -Antacid
  • Fred, I live that dream. :) -Jeckler
  • How about one where a suit has to make decisions WITHOUT endless meetings & then justify the conclusions that were reached in a "non-PHB" manner. Also, if the decisions were found to be useless, take responsibility for correcting any/all failures. (Yeah, I know, I'm dreaming...) -lineswine
  • 10. OT/NT - One sogn of a sick mind
    My 3 yo is watching Teletubbies while I'm in the kitchen and I hear the announcer on TV say "Oh my, look at Dipsy's dirty knees". Hehe, I wonder how THAT happened!
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Tinky has a new best friend! -MeanDean
  • Could Pat Robertson have been right about the purple teletubby? OH NOES!!!! -ecoli
  • Wipe yer mouth, Dipsie.... -vacuumtubes
  • YOU ARE LETTIN HIM WATCH TELETOOBIES <Spit>???!!! Don't you know that one hour of that ... thing, can kill almost as many brain cells as a phone call from an l-user? What kind of abusive parent are you?! x-( -TheGhost
  • Tinytribble is disalowed from Teletubbies, Bohmbah and Barbie.. for obvious reasons. (And she LOVES 'ZOOM') -ShujinTribble
  • --erm.. Barney. Sorry -ShujinTribble
  • And, in other news, Yahoo's 'Movie Mom' deems "Baby Einstein" series is bad for your kidz IQs... (Told on more than a few Friday mornings to Jeff & Jer on Star94.1, Sandy Eggans konw whhudI'm talkin'bout.... -MadJack
  • 11. This is *not* Hotel California
    Not sure how many of us/you work in a building with elevators, but hopefully those that don't will understand this. When you are waiting for the elevator doors to open, don't bum-rush it when they finally do. There might be someone wanting to get out at the same time you want to get on. This isn't Hotel California, we are allowed to leave. More often than not, this happens on the ground floor.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Daily here. I just keep walking out and let them get out of the way. Maybe next time I will just sit there with the door open button until they move their a$$ so I can get off. -FrontSideBus
  • "On a dark, desert highway. Moonlight in my hair. Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air..." -rokitt
  • Elevator ettiquette: Let people off before getting on, and ladies first. Don't hold the elevator for someone longer than about 15 seconds, unless you are certain no one else is waiting on you. And DON'T push ALL the buttons. (Of course, most people ignore all of the above.) -Captain Trips
  • Of course passing gas in the elevator usually gives them a moment of hesitation also. -FrontSideBus
  • Of course there are the 'ambush exiters' who stand right by the button panel and don't step out where you can see them until AFTER the doors are fully open. The elevator looks empty and then the appear as if from nowhere! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Hey Tripps, you don't push all of the buttons, just "door Close" and your floor to turn the elevator into your own personal express car: http://www.engadget.com/2005/08/02/elevator-hacking/ -docbrown01
  • This also holds true for trains......if you're standing on the platform in peak hour, DON'T STAND IN FRONT OF THE BLOODY DOORS WHEN IT ARRIVES. You WON'T be able to get on until people are off. -karlata
  • People do that in my building all the time. And I also hate the people who get on the elevator, push their own button, then stand right in front of the buttons so no one else can push a button without acquiring TMI. -sassicatz
  • karlata, I was just about to post that about the SkyTrain in Vancouver. I've taken to using my elbows when I get off. -Gaah
  • No comments from burkiss about that last phrase... :P -Gaah
  • It sounds like trains. It is etiquette at busy stations to stand to the side of the doors and let passengers get OFF the train first before those on the platform try to get on. There are those who will stand in front of the doors and look surprised that 30-50 people trampled over them. -Wraith556
  • Elbows huh? Theres something I never tried. -burrkiss
  • One nice thing about the work i do is that I have the elevator all to myself on my shift :) and the whole floor as well >:) -slowANDeasy
  • burrkiss - I'm new to this site and even *I* have difficulty believing there's anything left that you haven't tried. -TechnoCat
  • I thought that "elevator ambush" refers to someone farting (breath taking, foul smelling, nostril burning, stomach wrenching, make you wanna puke and crawl on the floor foul) as they exit the elevator and the doors are closing. -ecoli
  • OK FINE PEOPLE. I just tried it with my elbows, and all I can reach is the tip. YA HAPPY NOW!??!!? (anyone try to autofellatio? No? Yeah, me either.....) -burrkiss
  • Next time you try to autofellatio, don't use your elbows. That way you might reach more than just the tip. Even I knew that. <ducking into the LART shelter now> -TechnoCat
  • For some reason, bellowing "MOOOOOVE!" and ploughing forward into the crowd makes their Oh Crap instinct overpower their herd instinct. Highly entertaining and recommended. -Geminii
  • I find that having my Greyhound with me tends to deter the "bum-rushers" when we exit the elevator in my apt bldg. Even though Greyhounds are the biggest wimps on the planet. -TechnoCat
  • *installs a cattle catcher on his belt buckle* -missourimule
  • It was great in Japan, then... the train playforms have marks painted on the floor to show where to stand so the folks can step off the train, then you go in. Simple, really. -ShujinTribble
  • *Japanese train platform* It's just a jump to the left... -TranceGemini
  • I have a client site that I often make deliveries to, which has an elevator, and the server room is on the 3rd floor. Normaly I take the stairs to avoid the users (who all seem to know I'm the computer guy, but since I don't have any user support contract...)anyway, I delivered a load one time consisting of 2 new servers, monitors, a couple switches, all loaded onto a handcart. When the elevator arrived, I stood aside to let people out,since I needed every inch or room I could get, and three people cut around me (who wern't even around when I pushed the button). Needless to say, they found it very cramped when I forced my way in as well! -garwain
  • Happens everywhere. It stems from five words: "Lack of observation and consideration." -MadJack
  • 12. TMI!!!
    I'm on the phone just now dealing with a laptop that just turns off by itself, when the customer asks, out of the blue, "Do you have kids?". I do, so I answer, "Yea, three". Wondering where this is heading, he blurts out "Well, I have a one year old and one of his testicles hasn't descended, so I'm taking him in right now..." O.M.G.!!! I was trying to decide what steps he can take when he gets back, while at the same time wondering what planet I've landed on this time. I really hope he doesn't touch on that subject the next time I talk to him. BTW, all my kids are girls.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Oh, children! I thought we were talking about GOATS! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • So now he's got you in suspense... waiting for the other ball to drop, so to speak. -Gaah
  • Well I guess you can't help him since your kids testicles will never drop -LowLevelFormat
  • Nice... Just a piece of info you really needed. -shooric
  • re: "stephen lynch: half a man" -drachen
  • or: "I didn't know you could do RMA's for children." -drachen
  • Can you RMA a testicle????? So is it a failure to download??? -Blue3c
  • So it woulda been bad to answer, "Like father, like ..." -namor
  • What he didn't tell you was the other two are fine and dangly. -viennasausage
  • wait hold the phone, the other TWO? -Blue3c
  • And now for something completely different: a man with three..... </obligatory Python ref> -purplelinguist
  • *holds a laugh back while on the phone* i should know better by now not to read TSC while on the phone. -Slycat
  • "My husband has three testicles. It's disgusting!" --In & Out -concept14
  • So you waited to see if the New year's Ball Drop would help your one-year-old get the idea and it didn;t work, huh? -ShujinTribble
  • 13. Dropping the ball....2
    So I give him the RMA #'s and he goes away for a while. As an aside, they have pretty cool hold music, decent bass, catchy, but they only have like 3 songs. Anyway, he comes back and tells me that Innovate couldn't read the RMA numbers so have been holding them. This was after I had to tell him they were delivered to Innovate-IT on the 8th, and signed by some guy named Garcia. I then asked him if they could read the typed/printed RMA's on the slip of paper in the box, or <deity> forbid, my freaking PHONE NUMBER! Of course, no answer for that. Wasn't really expecting one though, as I do realize he's getting his info from a workflow sheet, and my question isn't an expected responce. <G> He goes on to say they'll be mailed back this week, and gives me two new RMA numbers. Not sure why at this point, but don't really care. I just want my modems back. So here's hoping I get a couple new 5686E's by next week.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • A few times, I;ve gotten shipments from UPS that were 'posed to go different companies in completely different states. I could be dishonest and keep the delivery. But no, I go totally out of my way and call the vender up and said that you shipping dept made a mistake, come pick your stuff up. -areatech
  • 14. Dropping the ball....1
    Or, "Starfish CSR" I sent out a couple of USR modems the first week of November for warranty service. They're sent to a 3rd party vendor in California called Innovate-IT. You're supposed to write the RMA# on the outside of the box. I sent 2 back, so there were 2 RMA's, written in Sharpie, on two different sides of the box. There was also a print-out inside the box with my contact info (Fedex sometimes rips labels off), and the RMA numbers were printed on that, as well as my phone number. The Fedex label also contains my phone numbers. So to recap, the RMA's are written/typed in 6 different places, and my phone number in 2. Now, usually it takes about a week or so for them to send me new/refurbed modems back. I haven't seen these particular ones back yet, so called USR yesterday for RMA status. First, the guy I talked to had no social skills at all. Sounded like he was ALWAYS reading from a piece of paper, even if it was to ask my name. And he kep pausing too. "<Him>:Name? <Me>:Jeckler (((10 seconds later, literally))) <Him>: OK". WTF???
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • He was checking the label on his sweater! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • 15. Geek? Or Loser?
    It's 1:30AM, Saturday morning, Right now, other than typing this on the Fujitsu LifeBook, I'm in the middle of re-setting up my Toshiba laptop. I got sick of XP, so just installed 98SE. So far I have video and wireless taken care of. Right now it's downloading IE6 (fuck off,I like it). So what's the verdict. Keep in mind I ...ummm.... got jiggy wid it with my wife earlier, so that oughta count towards something. FIRST POST!!!
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • If that wife is imaginary, you're in the loser pile. Otherwise, unless you drop 98SE and install Linux, Unix, or BSD somewhere you're low on Geek points. -Darkridr
  • points for the reinstall - not full due to IE instalation and windows - could have been higgher were it linux, or a Firefox install. as for the giggy with your wife - OK who wants to take the shot? nets WIDE open! and a Leaf could drop this one in! -Harm
  • Paging Burkiss -Slycat
  • LOSER!!! *sneaks into LART shelter as it is 3:40am and I'm just getting home from the bars with NO chick to get jiggy wid and the first thing I did was comment on your post* -redevil34
  • Need more evidence for the geek/loser verdict...and damn you and your Leaf jokes Harm! -RandalGraves
  • Not geek, but not loser. Just horribly horribly wrong. And with installs such as Ubuntu even Linux wouldn't be that geeky. Now, if you install DOS 5 and get EVERYTHING working, or Be OS, yeah, that would be geeky. As for the jiggy part, what? You want a medal? If you get jiggy with her AND you get her to scream Linus Torvalds name, that would be interesting! Keep trying. -ecoli
  • Ya all can bite me too. 98se is better. and ANYONE sitting around reinstalling a OS is a geek in my book. (You dont get TRUE geek points unless your wife was dressed up like Leia in Jabba's palace) :D -burrkiss
  • congrats on the first post but I don't see how you can be awake after getting "jiggy" are you sure you're doing it right :-P -NOFXfan
  • What, you don't write your own OS? -FuzzyElf
  • gotta agree w/ ecoli on this one -duckhead
  • I hate to say it...but you're not cool, new guy. Not cool at all. Of course, around here, that's usually a compliment...but I mean, not cool by *OUR* standards. Have fun with your IE...*GAG* -TranceGemini
  • TG, I use IE only because other than no activeX FF sucks half the time it can't even show images properly. -Wolfie0827
  • Let's clear a couple things up. First, I've been here longer than more than half the people commenting on this post. 2nd, it's a joke. Since noone noticed, it was the first post... OF THE DAY. 3rd, and this is specifically aimed at TranceGemini... the arrogance of that comment is glaring. Chill out. Keerist, I think Burkiss was the only sane one to say anything. -Jeckler
  • So someone who can force Windows and IE to work properly isn't qualified to be her? B) -ralphp1024
  • Uh.. Jeckler, you posted what looked like a comedic post. I answered in a joking manner, as did the others the way I read them. Now you're getting upset about the quality of the commentary? Methinks you need the chill pill first. -Darkridr
  • Scored with your own wife, you STUD! : ) heheh -JoeLugian
  • "now go away, im going to do stuff to her" /peter griffin/ -putahtek
  • 16. NT/OT - Hitchhiker's Guide
    I picked up The Ultimate Guide (6 stories) last night from Wally World. I'm only in like page 13, where Arthur's laying in the mud and Ford wants to go talk and drink, but every word I'm reading has an English accent in my head! It's driving me nuts.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • As well it should, Jeckler, as well it should . . . -Big Bad Mojo
  • yea- isn't it great! BTW the 6th book is .. like 5 pages long.. not so much a book really. its more of a aside featuring zaphod. -Harm
  • Oops -- meant every word should have an English accent, not that it should drive you nuts </clarification> -Big Bad Mojo
  • Next thing you know you'll be drinking tea and saying 'bloody hell' -CommanderData
  • CD - I've been doing that for *YEARS* -Divinar
  • I've got a steering wheel in my underwear...(stop me if you've heard this one before) -lineswine
  • English accents are sexy. That is all. Every word CD types I read with an english accent... Lineswine too, but with him I just can't help imagining a little garden gnome saying it too. ;) -scooby111
  • Woah I didn't know the 6-story version existed. I've been reating the 5-story version, borrowed from my school library. how much did it cost? -linuxmatt
  • CD, at first my post said "bloody English", but I changed it. I got home earlier and was reading while the kids watched Toy Story. No Ford sounds like Tim Allen and Arthur is Tom Hanks. LinuxMatt, this one is 815 pages. The front says it's five complete novels plus Bonus Story - Young Zaphod plays it safe. -Jeckler
  • it's a short story that first appeared in a comic relief book - IIRD, it also featured Ghengis Kahn -madonnac
  • I borrowed that from my library on monday, been meaning to read it since I catalogued it a few months ago. I really enjoyed the introduction by Adams. Unfortunately, I havent been able to read much of it, I suck totally. -evolvedstarfish
  • I recently read that same book. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! -Bobsentme
  • 17. NT/OT It's gonna be a good day even if..
    I am getting my wisdom teeth pulled in about 2 hours. Right now I'm doped up on last night's Lorazepam. I get to take another one here in about an hour. I also have some Hydrocodone and some other sedative/pain reliever. I'm gonna be feeling good today. hehe.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • ooo sounds like fun. i'd be more than willing to take any extra off your hands, especially since my job doesnt give benefits. j/k -getoffmyphone24
  • Funny, my boss in OH said the same thing. Nah, I'll keep 'em. I got jipped on the L, only got 4 tabs. The Promethazine looks insteresting though. Reading the warnings makes it sound like it's a mood alterer. And, I got 15 tabs of it. Woohoo!......<thump>ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz -Jeckler
  • Ohh I remeber havin mine out, they were all impacted, groovy painkillers were nice tho. -RandalGraves
  • Hydrocodone? You can keep that as far as I'm concerned. Took one pill once after surgery, ate a third of a hamburger and a couple French fries and spent the entire evening throwing up. -sassicatz
  • It ain't that bad, once they've novacained you. I was awake for my removal, and I had all of 'em done at once. Trick is, you gotta have a dentist that's good at giving novacaine shots. My wife's employer (dentist, of course) doesn't believe in nitrous. And you don't feel a twinge of any pain when he gives injections--he's that good. -vacuumtubes
  • Had 2 out (impacted)...my regul dentist took one look at them & immediately booked me into the local maxillo-facial unit @ Leeds General Infirmary. Using her charm/total scaryness, I got a cancellation for the following week. After the operation I resembled a hamster for a couple of days, due to the serious swelling around the jaw/cheeks/upper neck areas. -lineswine
  • You have a regul dentist, lineswine? - How does he get the little gravity sled into the office? *grin* -teivrann
  • For a few extra dollars, my doctor knocked me out for the extraction. Worth every penny. -ecoli
  • hmmm note to self - go and book the wisdom teeth surgury (2 lowers are inpacted - the 2 uppers were but are just degraded as hell at this point - been needing to get em out for a couple years now) drugs are good MMMkay? -Harm
  • Welcome to Vicodinland! -edventure
  • Anyone who doesn't have to have it done the hard way is lucky. (Had mine pulled back in '89, when I was still in the service. Strike one. Shot up w/ Xylocaine, and started in there. Strike two. When done, gave me a scrip for ibuprofen, which had to be filled at the base pharmacy b4 I could go back to the ship and crash (strike 3) Only had bed rest for the day, back at it next tday. (Strike 4! You're defintely out!) -MadJack
  • I had my wisdom teeth out years back. Before the surgery I took som valium...wonderful stuff. I watched them put the IV in my arm for the anesthetic and it didn't bother me...and I have a MAJOR phobia about needles. -Starfury
  • I had mine done in high school. They gave me an IV and knocked me out. As they were injecting me with anestic the said "your getting some groovy shit". -Liquidice
  • I don`t have them. never had. I`m mutant. Can`t share your experiences, and never will. So sorry...hehehe!!! :D -Datura
  • 18. Flying under the RADAR
    So my BIL calls me up a week or so ago and wants me to take a look at his PC and find out why it's slow. He lives in CA, and I live in GA. I have him download and install TightVNC so I can take a look. I connect (he's on DSL, I'm on cable) and see he running Win ME on an old Compaq (AMD something w/64Mb RAM). It was purchased sometime in 2000. The first thing I notice is that McAfee AV subscription ran out in November... of 2000. Uh oh. He does have Spybot though.... version 1.2. No Adaware. And it hadn't been defragged in 4 years. So I first go through Add/Remove to see what I can find. Nothing out of the ordinary. OK, remove Syybot, Mcafee, Carbon Copy 32 and another old version of VNC (I had done this before a couple years ago I guess). Next I went to Housecall and ran a scan.... totally clean. Downloaded new Spybot, Adaware, AVG and HJT. Nothing bad whatsoever on this machine. I was amazed. The only problem throughout the whole adventure was waiting for VNC to refresh the screen whenever I clicked on something. I told him the reason it was slow was because it was old. I did take a couple non-essentials out of startup though to see if it'd help until he buys a new machine.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Consider this person the luckiest user in the world.... -vacuumtubes
  • I wonder if 64M is too small for most self-respecting viruses. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • the old saying goes, "The Lord looks out for little children and fools." Nothing against your BIL, but *wow*, what luck! -CTYankee
  • Came across a similar machine last week - 64MB of RAM, 333 MHz Cyrix, running ME. Completely clean with an updted AVG and a bit slow only on running bigger apps, like the (legit!) MS Office XP on there, no junk/spyware/viruses whatsoever. -DavidHM
  • 19. Darn speel chek
    I sent out an email to a user just now. The user's name is Nerisha. Spell check caught it and asked about it. Instead of hitting ignore, I accidently hit change, and it was immediately sent. I went to the sent items and looked at what it did. The user's name is now Nerdish. Oops! As you can imagine, I immediately followed up with an apology.
    [By: Jeckler]
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  • Grrr... I hate this. I correct my own spelling so I always disable spellchecking. I hate seeing that stupid confirmation. "Spell check was stopped before checking the message. Do you want to send anyways?" FARK OFF, Bill - keep your Outlook nonsense to yourself... -teivrann
  • if you mix the US/UK dictionary and colour becomes color etc... <click again>,"NO CHANGE" grrrr -Jax
  • I always click "add" if I know it's spelled right - so I don't have to deal with a particular word more than once. But that wouldn't help if I mis-clicked the FIRST time. -OgdenTechGuy
  • Be VERY careful if you send messages to people with names last Sonovich, Hassol or Huxtable. Wait... the last one is spelled right... oh well... :D -TheGhost
  • 20. Self LART, but doesn't know it.... yet
    So I had a ticket for a laptop user who's harddrive has crashed. He was kinda in a hurry, so I took another drive , imaged it and set his stuff up on it and shipped it out. He's going to ship me his old drive to see if I can salvage any data off it. This was Wednesday morning. I figured I could get the drive out that afternoon. One thing led to another, and I wasn't able to get it out before FedEx picked up. This was due to a server data transfer that took almost an hour to accomplsih, plus downloading the image itself from a server in another state that took 4 hours to complete. The guy calls me this morning asking where the drive is. I explained what happened and he went off, saying how he's got all these people waiting on him. I'm the one that went out of my way to get a drive shipped out before he sent his in. I told him we go as fast as we can. He proceeded to rag on me some more, saying I should've called him since I didn't get it out on Wednesday. I didn't even bother responding to that. I just told him to send me the old drive when he gets it replaced. He started saying something else, but I just kept talking. Suffice to say, there won't be any data to recover once I'm done with his old drive. Anybody got a big magnet I can borrow?
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • screw the magnet, just drop it a few times.... -JoeLugian
  • I suggest alternating half-hours between the freezer and the oven. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Yeah, but those tend to leave external indications of damage. The magnet will leave no externally visable damage and can easily be blamed on accidental problems with the courier or just unkown reasons. I would still find a way to wipe it. -DragonMageWTF
  • I'm sorry, sir, but it appears that some thermite was spilled on your drive during shipping. Yes, it's completely ruined. So sorry. *click* -RiffRaff
  • "Thermite"? Never heard of it before, huh? I'm making it up? Sir, i can assure you, I am not making up 'Thermite' - All mine is actually outsourced from Indi-- >BOOM!< Well, USED to be outsourced from India. -ShujinTribble
  • Actually it doesn't go BOOM as much as FWOOSH! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • If they screwed up the directions with a big enough batch... (GRIN!) -ShujinTribble
  • Pictures? Please? Sounds VERRRY entertaining! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Don' you DARE to erase the drive with a magnet! Not before you make a copy of all the porn in it, and save it to an FTP. Remember, "all is known". :-) <what was that FTP site again?> -TheGhost
  • 21. Axel Foley meets 2-stroke guy....
    And creates The Annoying Thing... http://dd0s.org/~wooolf/crazyfrog/
    [By: Jeckler]
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  • Cute li'l hangdown froggy's got there! -viennasausage
  • Bam ? BAM! -Necros
  • These bloody adverts make me want to go on a bloody rampage -modeski
  • What's the advert for? I've seen it referenced before, but I've never seen it used for an ad for anything... in the US. -Jeckler
  • Some cretin's made a single out of it and its charting, for fucks sake. -Gromit
  • Humanity is officially doomed, ladies and gentlemen. I suggest we construct a warp-capable vessel and evacuate the planet as soon as possible. -flapjackboy
  • Make sure there is a working flux capacitator while you are at it. -MrJay67
  • I saw lots of ads for ringtones for this thing, and looked it up. While I can appreciate the Annoying Thing as an interesting piece of animation, they've recently started advertising something called 'Nessie the Tiny Dragon', which as far as I can tell doesn't have any reason to exist other than selling ringtones. -Splunge
  • I have a nice photoshop somewhere which has sweety the chick being cut in half with a meat cleaver... -sadako
  • Jeez - thewy are riunning this on every farkin ad break (3 times an hour, once at the start of the break, with a reprise at the end of it). It is getting on my tits! It is to advertise the 'Jamster' mobilephone ringtome service..only a dickhead 14 year old would want to pay £3/week for this dross..oh yeah, it is on recurring billing too. Who is responsible for this farkin outrage of a tune/animation? Step forward....Ministry of Sound! So it says here... http://www.turboforce3d.com/ the webite of 'The Annoying Thing's creator...Erik Wernquist - click on 'Art'then 'Commercial'. This puts a big dent in your 'hipper than thou' attitude, doesn't it? -lineswine
  • That should read the "Ministry of Sound" 'hipper than thou' attitude! -lineswine
  • Not only is it a single, it's supposed to be going in this worked at farking number 1! The creator is a Swede. On behalf of all the techs on this board, I volunteer to go to Sweden and punish them all. Well, all the female ones anyway. -smellystudent
  • It's a good thing I locked down my wife's cell phone to prevent exactly this kind of thing. She watches tv with those damn Jamster commercials and at one point they were on every single commercial break for four days on one channel alone. It's like phone sex for kids. They get addicted, and the next thing you know, they've got forty ringtones in their collection and the family cell bill is $500 higher. -suitepotato
  • Smellystudent: I live in sweden, and I must admit that I sometimes wanna do a 'Jay and silent Bob strikes back' on all morons in sweden, sooooo if you decide to visit sweden for some mayhem and you'd like some backup.... let me know ;-) -Bilkor
  • 22. NT/OT - Everybody dance now!
    My wife just sent me this in AIM... http://www.koreus.com/files/200502/everybody-dance.html
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • that looked a little like the guy in the verizon wireless commercials, "can you hear me now?" now DANCE!!! -razmann
  • <Chanting>Go White Bread! It's y'r Birth-DAY! Go White Bread! It's y'r Birth-DAY! </Chanting> Actually, for a USAFA student, give him credit - he's not bad. I wonder how he'd be with training and practice. -ShujinTribble
  • He's already better than I'll ever be ;-) -Divinar
  • ... yeah ... when I stop dancing, things keep moving. -LaserGuru
  • there are no words...insults and praise possible...<error></bad comment> -drachen
  • BREAK IT DOWN!!! -SFishWrangler
  • ...what Divinar said.... -Grue
  • in my professional opinion. he could be worse. at least he's basically on beat. I've been playing records for almost two years now, and you can trust me when I say, I've seen a LOT worse. -irishxpride
  • I thought he didn't do to bad. And it looked like quite the workout! -Tekkie
  • 23. Heavy handed fix..
    As we speak, I'm on the phone with a user who's having trouble with MSI. Sorry for the lack of a BIG ASS! From http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=kb;en-us;886630 , this is one of the methods to fix the issue. Pay attention to number 4 "Method 2: Remove the Windows Installer files 1. Quit all Windows programs. 2. Click Start, click Run, type msiexec /unregister in the Open box, and then click OK. 3. In Windows Explorer, rename the following files in the System folder:• Msi.dll • Msihnd.dll • Msiexec.exe Note If you cannot rename these files, try to rename the files at a command prompt. To start a command prompt, click Start, click Run, type cmd in the Open box, and then click OK. 4. Reinstall Windows XP." Wow, that's quite a LART.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • All together now - "Fdisk, Format, Reinstall! (do-dah, do-dah) Fdisk, Format, Reinstall! - That's the Redmond way!" -Divinar
  • I had a problem with MSI after a Paint Shop Pro install associated MSI files. There are a bunch of regedits to fix file associations at http://www.dougknox.com/xp/file_assoc.htm -LaserGuru
  • This one was after an HP AIO install gone very bad. He told me HP left the machine in worse shape when they were done than before. We got the MSI fixed, simple un-reg/re-reg. He's also getting the autoexec.nt error on logon, but no CD or i386 folder to restore from, so he's dealing with it. He said that's been happening since he got the machine, 2 years ago! Oh, and AOL's installed too, I told I couldn't support it, except to tell him to uninstall it (corporate machine). -Jeckler
  • Just another example of why having a centralized installer is a BAD IDEA. I used to support MS products and their reliance on the installer (instead of a superior method like InstallShield) generated at least half of our non-usability calls. -DarthLuke
  • 24. New stuff rox!
    So I got some new machines here to test SP2 with. Dell GX280's, small form factor desktop, 1gb RAM, 3gb P4, 40GB SATA. Total time from pressing the power button to logon screen... 20 seconds. This is a full corporate image too, not a strippy OEM load. I might like these machines.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • I got a lot of failure calls on these. Hope that they hold up for you. -ecoli
  • Before anyone else says it, I know I goofed the speed spec. I don't feel like deleting it though. Pffft! -Jeckler
  • Me too E. I only got 3 of them, but these may be what I refresh the other 150+ people in the office with... by myself. That won't happen until at least June. Right now we're running GX260 towers. -Jeckler
  • Where I work, we have had DELL low profile case PCs for some users for a couple of years - starting with GX260s, now GX280s - I call them PITA PIPSQUEAKS. They take laptop style floppies and cd drives, and are #@$% to work on compared to the towers. One thing I have seen with a few of them is the tiny fan in the puny power supply going bad and frying the HD. If the CPU fan goes bad, the heat sensor detects that and no real harm is done - just get out your watchmaker tool kit when DELL ships the replacement. Give me a nice big tower to work on. Junkman -junkman
  • we have three of the 270s in our office. so far all three have needed new mother boards, and a new hard drive for one so far. -xtc46
  • we got gx 260's, they have only needed new hd's -nightwalker21
  • Funny that you should mention special screwdrivers; I've got a couple of screwdrivers JUST for cases like that. They are what amounts to a power-screwdriver tip embeded in a stump of screwdriver handle. Total length: 1.2" (3 cm) - The odd bit is, of course, I bought them out of cheap, bargain-bins. Not even all the same one! I got the straight-blade at one place, the torx at another, and (finally!) found the phillips at, I think, Harbor Freight Tools. You'd think that they'd all come in the one package, but I digress. -LoTech
  • We get loads of these for repair. They're a real pain in the behind. -ch41nbr8kr
  • <Tech Nazi> Uhhh, 3GB P4s? WhereInHell did they get all that cache? Are they some new form of Extreme Edition? And how fast are they? </Tech Nazi, and running like he**> <Grin> -CTYankee
  • We have 250 of those we've rolled out but they got the 80gb dives. So far we've had 3 DOA (2 floppy drive, 1 mobo) and 2 others died in the field. I guess thats ok so far. none of the monitors (17" LCD) have had any problems yet. We did have one MD that wanted his LCD at 800x600. Was told 'no' by the IT dept. -Starfury
  • My father-in-law just bought a Dimension 8400XPS Media Center Edition--on my recommendation!--w/ P4 3.4GHz, 1GB RAM, 250GB HDD, DVD-ROM + DVD+/-RW Dual Layer drive about 2 months ago. I recommended Dell because usually their warranty svc is pretty good (I did 2yrs of CS for them in an outsource outfit). Sure enough, the burner wouldn't read or burn DVDs. I called tech support and got a dude in India who was pretty competent (and LOVED the fact that I'm an MCP--WINNT 4.0, but who cares?) and after 30 min. of troubleshooting, told me, "we're going to replace the drive, it's bad." A few days later, with no muss and no fuss, the new drive was in. Dell's not that bad, IMHO. -PaseoGuy
  • And that thing SCREAMS! I need one, now. :-( -PaseoGuy
  • 25. A PC for the ages
    Dunno if it's clickable, don't really care either. :) At least it's Tiny... http://tinyurl.com/4he4w
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Ohh, bonus! -Jeckler
  • Is this SFW? -virusjtg
  • Qoute: "I opened up my new TPCV1250S to install some additional ram, when a small green man jumped out and kicked me in the face. I don't know where he went, but I'm going to kill him. Potential buyers should purchase a system that has all parts securely attatched and tied down. " -jard
  • virusjtg: Yes -jard
  • I don't know what is funnier; the TSC posts I am reading on this site or the TSC posts I am reading on Amazon. Whoever came up with the matter/antimatter power supply post…that was good. -mellowfellow
  • "It chews up yardsticks, do don't even try using those" ROFLMAO -VIPERsssss
  • oops, "so" not "do". D'OH! -VIPERsssss
  • I read DD's comment and knew it was from TSC before I saw his name because he used 'fark' -paul
  • Says "This item is not stocked or has been discontinued". From the "reviews" I take it there were some extremely funny errors in the specifications, right? -NordicPT
  • The listed specs were: Processor - 10gHz , RAM - 2000 MB, Hard Drive - 30000 GB, and weight - 14/100 lb. -Sien
  • 10GHz processor!?!?!?!?, a 3GHz prescott gets seriously fuckin hot, could you imagine the size of the heat sink on that fucker. 10GHz at current rate would be about 360W :) </sarcasm> -Armakuni
  • 26. I can do it....
    So I get a ticket for a remote user that's getting disco'ed from their dialer. Call 'em up and find out (after a bit of a runaround regarding the timeline of events) that the PC had crashed last week, and someone else in the office reimaged the machine. Checked the modem first, and in 2K, it was listed as 'unknown modem' on COM1. Ran diags and found out the correct model of USR that's in it. Tried to reconnect to the dialer and VPN to go get the right driver, but it wouldn't work reliably. Told her to find another PC we could use to download the correct driver to a floppy and reinstall on her machine. She came back a few minutes later with a guy who's head was 5 feet up his ass (I'm guessing the same guy who reimaged it. Must've hurt his wittle feewings to have it not working). Wanted to know how I was going to get a driver if it said unknown (in that condescending "Know it all" attitude).. Told him we already found the make and model, and I could walk him through downloading it and getting it installed. He proceeded to ask what the make and model was (I was getting a feeling). Told him, and he said he could do it (again, "the holier than thou" skip in his voice). Alrighty then. Asked if they wanted the ticket closed, they said yes. Ok then buddy, you're to stupid to find the info you need yourself, yet you're gonna get on the WWW and find the correct driver and install it? Go for it dude. I hope I don't get the ticket again. I purposely left out the make/model info of the modem in the closing comments of the ticket so Mr. Asshat will have to look for it himself if he calls back in for assistance.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    27. back-asswards
    I most of been having an off day. We use card readers on every door leading outside here where I work. I was outside on a break a few days ago, and I went to come back in by just pulling the (locked) door open. Took half a second to realize it, but I swiped my card and walked in. Ha Ha you say. Well, on my way back to my office, I decided a "pit-stop" was in order. Once I get to the door of the mens room, I proceed to take a moment to try and figure out where the card reader is to swipe my card....
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Or if it's your 'card' you need to swipe across the sensor.... To quote a female coworker who was wearing her keycard on a necklace under her coat, so had to press her cleavage up to the box by the door, "No, I'm not rubbing my tits against the door for jollies." I didn't ask, honest. :) -Mushroom
  • At one of my client sites, the controller for the door entry system is in the server closet, the door to which is controlled by the system. I've never asked what happens if the controller fails with the door locked... -smellystudent
  • Some people here wear 'em on their belt. Picture that! -Jeckler
  • From what I understand, by design (and safety) the doors fail open if the system dies. -Jeckler
  • Used to keep my badge in my briefcase until management had a fit about badges not being visible. I'd just pass the whole case in front of the sensor. Also worked from my belt (on the side so no comments) right through my leather trench coat. Those were the good old days. -DarthLuke
  • I keep mine in my wallet... Makes it easier to get in when my hands are full, though ass-grinding the sensor isn't recommended around the better looking co-workers. -RCNitro
  • My keycard is in my wallet. With the card toward the outside. That means I have to put my a$$ on the sensor. Gets some serious laughs you can be assured! -burrkiss
  • Dammit RC, you finished your story before I could :{ -burrkiss
  • We're issued either fabric necklaces or retractable cord clips. I have mine on a retractable clip, which, if I'm in uniform, is clipped to my left front pocket; if in civvies, on my belt on the side. -Jay911
  • Ah yes, I used to clip mine to a belt loop. That jaunty little bump action at the door made more than one person crack a smile. -CyBear
  • Here that sort of thing is called wall-humping and it is so not cool. -K1W1
  • The hardware tech I was shadowing today swiped something against the card-reader, and tried the door. He tried the door; it wouldn't open, so he tried again. Still locked. He scowled down at the object in his hand--blinked, then laughed. He showed me what he was holding--he had been swiping his *pack of cigarettes* against the reader. I guess it makes sense--his wallet is about the same size, and his key-card is normally in that. -snowcrash
  • The last place I worked had mag-stripe card readers inside the building. You unlocked the door with a key & made a mad dash 15' thru a lobby full of attractive potted plants & tastefully arranged visitor's chairs to the swiper to disarm the alarm system. Not easy if you're a tech with an armload of gear!! -Tekkie
  • The door system here has a "break glass to release" system on the inside of each door, just in case they fail closed. Had to use it once at my old office. -EmleyMoor
  • EmleyMoor, yuo remind me of my sister's experience in a midnight fire drill at her hall of residence. The firedoor key was behind a break-glass panel that someone had helpfully glazed with break-proof glass. -rurwin
  • Hey, at least you have the keys you need... My office door autolocks, and connects to a storage room, without the autolock. The door between my office and the storage room is always open, so I've never been assigned a key. Unfortionatly, it's a weekly occurance for someone to go into the storeroom, and lock the door on their way out, so I then have to track down someone from maintenance to unlock it for me... Very annoying. -garwain
  • We use magnetic cards as well..i keep forgetting where i put it and the guy in the reception always laughs at me, have me looking around for it for a bit and then opens the door for me...happy hour for him when i leave the building!! -AmdInside
  • 28. Compaq sucks major ass!!!
    Sorry guys, no pulling punches for this.... My wife has a 10 month old Presario PC. For the last 4-5 months, the CPU fan on it has been cycling from low to high speed, about once per second. It drives me nuts. I finally get a chance to call Compaq, and as per expectations, I get some towelheaded camel jockey dumbass of a woman on the phone. Proceed to try to explain to her, in the plainest fucking ENGLISH I can think of, what the problem is. First I tell her the CPU fan. She asked which CPU fan? THERE'S ONLY ONE YOU STUPID BITCH!!! How do I know it's the CPU fan? Because I know how to unscrew two screws and remove the case. I can also hear in stereo, thankyouvrymuch. She then proceeds to have me shut down the PC, remove any external hardware, then unplug it. I then am instructed to hold the power button for 30 seconds, then replace the power cord, go into Setup and restore to optimized defaults. Reboot the machine, and get back into XP. Still making noise? You bet! So she proceeds to flip the pages of her arabic language script book, and tells me that it is a special feature of the Presario to have the fan cycle when the system needs to use all the resources available. I sat stunned for a second, and then told her that I would find a local Compaq service center I could take it to, told her thanks for nothing, and hung up. FUCK YOU COMPAQ! If any of the suits are reading any of this bullshit, take your Indian Fucking Call Center and shove it up your cock loving ass! I'm about ready to go BUY my own fucking fan because those dumb asses can't get the shit straight. Bottom line my ass. One thing is going to come from companies sending their support overseas. Most people are going to get so sick of talking to people with accents so thick you could slice cheese with, that the call volume will get so low, they'll even have to lay those fuckers off.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Here- have some Valium, dude! -LaserGuru
  • It could be a BIOS setting. Or, there might be a BIOS upgrade to fix this. Had something similar on my Toshiba laptop at work- the fan would cycle up and down for no reason- a BIOS upgrade fixed it. See if they have a SoftPAQ online to upgrade the system. -LaserGuru
  • the Arabic references just don't jive with the Indian based tech support. You might be surprised to find out that the Indians are predominately Hindu and not arabic. :) -DMenscha
  • The day a pre-built system of any brand name enters my household is the day I get out of the business. Just for this very reason. If you want it done right, you build it yourself. Might cost a little more, but knowing exactly what's in your system and how it's been handled is worth it. -RiffRaff
  • Okay, after about 45 minutes of solitude, I feel better. Well, not better really, just calmer. The BIOS has the latest SoftPAQ, that was done a month ago. She had me reset the settings, and I'm guessing the "hold the power button for 30 seconds with it unplugged" drill was to clear anything out. I agree with Riff about homebuilts. The thing was that her previous machine was a Celeron that up and crashed one night, and needed to be replaced ASAP. Costco used to take PC's back ANYTIME (years later even). It's people like me that stopped that practice. So we had to get a PC that night. And DM, Hindu/Arabic...pfft! :) -Jeckler
  • you should go to this site http://compaqsucks.com/ -kennz
  • Actually, my own opinion aggrees with Riff, except for the part about price. I could easily build a better system for less than gateway's advertised $599. But, then again, I only pay %10 over cost. Why buy a pc that you can't upgrade, where everything is onboard, when, for the same price you can get a M/B that handles anything from the Athlon 1800, all the way up to the current 3200, that can also handle sdram, AND ddr. My motto is "Why buy it twice" -Spyder19
  • To expand on what Spyder19 said, my motto is "Buy the best and cry only once." -RedSwingline
  • Well, to be fair, a North American script reader would likely have told you the same thing. But yeah, I am thouroughly unimpressed with compaq laptops as well. -Snakeeye
  • I'm sorry but that anti-arabic reference hit me the wrong way. First off, Indians are predomantily hindu and there are a huge number of issues between arabs and hindus. You cannot classify them in a group just because they have the same skin color, hell they even sound different! And I have not tolerance for racial slurs: "the dirty motherf*cking bitch" would have work just as well as your camel jockey statement without offending anyone but her. -nm
  • Tech support in many countries is fairly equivalent to telemarketing in others. The hours are shitty, the pay is usually not that great, and you have to follow a script to the letter. I feel for the techs in India that are supporting the US and Canada because they're usually doing it during their normal sleep cycle and having to speak a language that's completely foreign. -snowcrash
  • snow: w/ the amount of pressure that g-way puts on their techs to X4 calls to sales, is there truly a difference between tech and t-marketers? besides, w/ caller id so common, the days of t-marketers are almost over. -omegawolf
  • Perhaps it's fortunate I've never worked for a company that sells computers... -snowcrash
  • Jeckler - First of all, I agree about Compaq being a POS & that I'll sure as hell build all mine - stuff the corporate shite that they try to pass off as PCs. BUT....Calling an Indian an Arab is about the same as calling you a Cuban - so does that make you a cigar chomping commie bastard then? If you wish to show your ignorance of other cultures there are some other sites to do it on ....the3 KKK's, the John Birch Society, the ultra right Christian white power ones, spring to mind. The Indians & the Ababs have very little in common apart from skin tone - different cultures, religions, customs etc. To be honest there are more things they hate about each other than even you hate about them. Get real & learn about what you are talking about before you mouth off in public or you'll just show your ignorance of these matters to the world. -lineswine
  • 29. Another urban legend come true
    Sure, we've all heard the one about the guy clicking on 'Next" on a screenshot in a Word doc, but I just had him. We use Hyperion Essbase (an Excel plug-in) and the users can view the install docs on our Intranet. In the install docs it outlines exactly what needs to be done, and how to download the software. This guy opened a ticket saying he was having trouble. Called him up and asked what's going on. He said that when he opened the install doc, then clicks next, all it does is outline the whole box, like it would if you wanted to delete it. Informed him that was the InstallShiled Wizard screenshot he was clicking on, and he needs to download the add-in, which is an active link, a half inch higher up the page than what he was clicking on. Got him started on downlading it. Told him to come back and follow the rest of the instructions to get it installed. I can't wait for this.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • He called back today. Didn't know where the desktop was!!! He was looking for it on the C: drive. -Jeckler
  • 30. Screwed the back way
    So, like everyone else, I've heard of the MsBlast worm. This story is related, except it's not the worm that did the damage, it was MS's supposed fix. A ticket I received yesterday said that the user was getting DUN and TCP/IP configuration errors when logging on via RAS/AT&T dialer. The Event Viewer (NT box) said that the point to point protocol module could not be loaded. We tried reinstalling RAS over the phone, to no avail. She sent me the PC. Get it today, and proceed to rip out the dialer, RAS and TCP/IP and reinstall. No dice. Hit MS's KB for help. None of the errors I was getting had any articles. Hit google and put in "point to point protocol engine". The first hit I got was a computing.net article with the same issue. It turns out that the Q823803 fix replaces kernel.dll. This is what brought the machine down. Uninstalled the hotfix, and was back up and running. This story serves two purposes, a rant on MS for putting another buggy fix out and not having any KB article regarding errors it might cause, and to let everyone else here know how to fix it if it happens to them.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • I've had Users on XP that haven't had this problem. Do you know if it's just in conjunction with other fixes then? -scooby111
  • Not sure. I just went and verified Q823803. It is only for PC's running NT4 Server, according to MS. How it got on this machine, running Workstation I don't know. Q823980 is the other fix that was installed. This is the MS03-026 fix for MSBlaster. If there is a flaw at windowsupdate which is installing Q823803 on Workstation machines, it needs to be fixed. -Jeckler
  • Thanks, I just got the bulletin from M$ to that effect. :) -scooby111
  • Actually we had the at&t dialer automatic update of the address book infect people with the MSBlaster virus. Try explaing that one! -BunnieTechBabe
  • 31. Something popped out!
    A few days ago I sent out a Dell CpiA laptop to a customer in Los Angeles. Got a call yesterday from a lady wondering how the XJack modem works. It took me a little while to explain it to her. First she couldn't even find the modem, then a few more agonizing seconds telling her to press and release, and the jack will pop out (after she managed to pull the whole card out, causing NT to have a fit, and needing to restart). Thank goodness whe figured out how to plug in the phone line. Today I get a call from another person in the office, wondering the same thing. Repeat, only this time she said "Well, something popped out". Told her to talk to the other gal to figure it out. I wonder if that's why XJack devices are not more popular? To many Starfish in the sea.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • I Had an Xjack card once, it was a pain. Whenever I pushed the "jack" into the card, NT4 would lock up. Turns out that the jack shortedout a chip which caused NT to think the card was removed. ended up getting it replaced after serveral TS calls. -lancasterjl
  • We used to have a handful of Xjack (Xsuck) modems. I don't know how these starfish managed to do this, but after a few months' use the four leads in them looked more mangled than Carrot Top's hair. In every single one of these Xsuck modems. -ltu1542hvy
  • Yeah, x-jacks = well flimsy. I've had a LOT more success with the Xircom realport cards - no dongle to lose & they are flush with the side of the lapdog. -lineswine
  • Little side note: on Thinkpads, certain types of NICs (like the on belonging to my roommate, for example), when unplugged, WILL RESTART YOUR COMPUTER. Why oh why? -monitor lizard
  • 32. I love the easy ones
    Backstory: Our standard image has a screen res of 1024x768. I got a ticket earlier saying the agent's Winset (phone application) was not on the screen after they logged on. They had just been moved to this desk. The app was on the taskbar, but nowhere to be seen on the desktop. Winset notes screen position in a server based .ini file, but not screen res, and most of the agents move it to the right side. This agent's PC had been set to 800x600. Easy fix, log on to Winset, hit Alt, space, M, and move it back onto the desktop with the arrow keys. 10 seconds, tops. The thing is, I've had to do it numerous times over the last 2.5 years, and have told the operations people how to do it, but they still don't get it. Job security I guess.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Microsoft Photoeditor does something like that too. It loses its position on the screen. Then you right-click the taskbar button, choose "Move", and press any arrow key, and it reappears magically. -Brf
  • I forgot to add that our images have right click disabled. Keeps the little bas.... I mean agents from changing the screen colors (black on black over black, yea, it's been done). -Jeckler
  • PhotoEditor will also come up minimized and you have to right click/maximize it from the taskbar. -Hellion
  • Right, Hellion. It acts like it is minimized. Really, it just lost its place on the screen until your tell it to move. "Maximize" will work, but if you try to "restore" it will disappear again. -Brf
  • 33. Family Ties, part 1...
    So, my wife and two kids were on vacation a couple weeks ago, and were visiting her Dad in LA (We live in Redding). While down there we convinced him to get DSL for his HP and his daughter's iMac. Me and Dad go off to Fry's to pick up a router and patch cable to get him set up. Bought a Linksys BEFSR41v2. Got it back to his house, and got the router installed and hooked up to the Mac in preparation for DSL (they were still on AOL at this time). At this point, both PC's can access the router and get to the config pages. My brother-in-law was responsible for running a cat 5 cable from the router to the back of the house to connect the HP (he's a phone installer/tech for SBC). I told them to call me when they got everything and I'd help get it installed, since I knew SBC wasn't going to help them with the router in the way. We figured it'd take a few weeks to get the line provisioned and for dad to get his modem, but I was surprised to hear three days ago that they had DSL installed, but were having problems on dad's machine. He was supposed to call me the other night, but never did. Called them last night (my dime, BTW), and was told that he had called SBC and they had helped him get it working, but only one of them could connect at a time.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    34. Family Ties, part 2...
    Silence on my end as the importance of this revelation sunk in. "They had you install Enternet, didn't they." It was more of a statement than a question, as I knew the answer that was coming. "Yes", said the daughter. Great. How about the mac? She had tried configurng PPPoE in OS X, and managed to mung the network connection there too. The only way she can connect is if she boots with OS 9. Ok, tried rebuilding the connection in OS X, got it to get an IP from the router after many changes and reboots of both the mac and the router, but can't get to the router's internal setup. Ok, let's try the HP, don't use Enternet, just try 192.168.1.1, no go. At this point, I'd been on the phone with her for over an hour, so didn't really want to mess with it anymore. Told her to just continue doing it the way they've been doing it. Basically, they bought a real expensive hub. Dad and daughter are coming to visit in two weeks, so my wife is going to tell them to bring the iMac, HP and router to our house so I can get it working for them.... again.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    35. More Stupid User Tricks
    The Call Center I support uses Aspect Communications for phone service inside (300 seats, using Winsets and Telesets), along with 29 virtual analog lines for POTS phones. I got a call 10 minutes ago from the Customer Service Manager asking if there was a regular phone jack (meaning analog) in the small training room so they could hook up a speakerphone. I looked up the list, found the jack, opened the CAD drawings, and told him where it was (in the corner). He asked if I had a long phone cord so it could reach the middle of the room. I found 2 12ft. cords and a coupler, and told him to come get them. As I was handing the cords to him, I asked if he was plugging a regular phone in or planning on using a Teleset. He said Teleset. I took the cords back from him and told him a Teleset plugs into the same jack as a Winset (There's 16 other digital jacks in the room). Ok... he goes off to plug a Teleset in. Think it's over? Uh, not quite. He comes knocking a few minutes later saying he can't get the cord plugged in. I grab an extra just in case, and head over to the training room. I walk in and proceed to get down on the floor and try it and he asks "Oh, it plugs in down there? I thought it went here...", and proceeds to point to the headset jacks on the Winset adapter. Told him he needs to unplug the Winset, and plug in the Teleset in its place. I do that, and as I'm walking out, his last question was "How long does it take to initialize?" "About 30 seconds", I say, and leave, tying to hide the fury and look of disgust on my face as to how something thinks plugging a phone into another phone is going to work.
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • Sounds like a CSM to me. -TechnoVampire
  • The very same way plugging a power-strip into itself works, silly... -obie099
  • "Not to worry, Professor, I'll just email you a connection. In the meantime, please stand directly underneath this rickety light fixture... -deltree/y
  • 36. Errr duhhhh.........
    Had to contact a customer today regarding a no-print issue. Her Laserjet 6L would print raw data. Was going to email her the driver, but her corporate email box is 25 megs over limit. Tried going to HP's site to download the driver, couldn't get to it. I had to upload it to a geocities account so she could go retrieve it. Being Geocities, I had to rename the exe file to .zip. Once she got it to her desktop, it took, I swear, 30 freakin' minutes to rename the thing back to .exe (she kept deleting the whole name, or putting 2 e's and 2 x's, then having to start all over). During this time I had to put the customer on mute, grab a keyboard that was laying on top of a filing cabinet, and proceed to beat the livin' crap out of it, jump up and down on it, and finally break it in half over my knee to vent my frustration toward this user. Finally got the driver unpacked on the hard drive, then it took another 15+ minutes to get it installed through Printers Control Panel, as she kept hitting the wrong button when choosing 'Have Disk'. After all's said and done, we try a test print, and the flipping printer is printing multiple pages of garbage. I needed a break, so I told the customer I'd call her back tomorrow. I think at one point she was hinting that the monitor was the PC itself, and the computer was just a counterweight to keep it from floating away.2002-12-10
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • I just checked the schedule - aren't you OFF tomorrow? -deltree/y
  • I once spent an hour and fifteen minutes trying to get a guy to rename a file from .TXT to .BAT. -sassicatz
  • wow, 1 hour and 15 minutes talking someone thru renaming a file. It sounds like it was a problem with YOU and the EU. -LordCraterHead
  • That's harsh. I spent an hour with someone last night trying to get a luser to search for a file that he downloaded from the internet. He spoke very broken english and he had never used a computer before. He was clicking on both buttons in unison and continued to do so after I explained why he shouldn't. it was really interesting when I was trying to explain how a drop down box works. -Madrox
  • English seems to become another language when your talking about renaming files. EXE becomes EEE, bat becomes atb, and a dot or a period becomes a comma or a semi-colon. As for an hour and a half I totally believe it. "Yes type in the letters exe." U: Uhh what? exit. "No exe... oh never mind here's the shipping info just send it in for cruds sake. -ccheath776
  • 37. Can we do it again?
    Long one, kinda. Had a trouble ticket where a remote clients machine's HD went on vacation, and was playing a ping pong tournament inside. Called Dell, they say the HD's already been replaced 8 months ago, wants to verify. Caleld the client back, found out the case cover had been swapped from another machine, hence I got the wrong Service Tag first time around. Found the label on the back with the correct tag, got a new HD sent to the client, and I sent him an image and Ghost. UPS promptly loses my shipment. OK, send him another one. Calls back a couple days later, finally got the 2nd shipment I sent him, and he tells me the HD must be in between sets, and he got it to boot. Great, let's Ghost it before the players wake back up, BTW: got a fan to put on it to keep it cool? Got that done, Ghosted the old to new, booted, winsrv.dll error, damn! Check KB, put the drive in another NT machine, software hive corrupted, no ERD. OK, start from scratch. Re-Ghost the new drive with the CD image I sent him, spend 30-45 minutes configuring it for network access and email. Got it all ready, told him we're done, I'll close the ticket, fine. My work is done.. yea right. Client calls back an hour later... he managed to hose the video, changing the adapter to something that isn't even there, and then wondering why NT boots in VGA mode. All becasue he didn't like 1024x768 on a 17" monitor. Since he could still get on the 'net, I directed him to support.dell.com to download the (hopefully) correct driver. This was yesterday mid-afternoon, he hasn't called back yet. He still has to slave the old drive long enough to grab his data files and .pst file for Outlook, and find the correct cover. I wonder how long it'll take before he calls me again?2002-05-15
    [By: Jeckler]
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    Comments

  • He won't be calling you, Triage'll be sending him to us (most likely me HAHAHA). BTW: Like the way you put that. HD went on vacation, and was playing a ping pong tournament inside. Nice. -MadJack
  • He did call me back. He called Dell, but since it wasn't a Dell installed image, they couldn't (wouldn't) support him. When he called back, I had him writer down some of the steps to re-image the machine (again), and call me back after Sysprep was done. Once he called back, it took about 30 more minutes to finish (again) his profile setup. I showed him how to properly set screen res (to 800x600), and his words were "That's all I have to do?". Uhh... yea. Buh bye. -Jeckler
  • One more non-factory image, one less customer to worry about. -MadJack
  • Customer Misconceptions


    1. That shutdown/restart & logoff are all the same. And that "don't log on" means the exact opposite. Twice today I've asked users to logoff of their machine and leave it at the prompt so I can RDP into it. The first person shut the machine down. They started it up after I called them back... then logged back in. The second (thankfully, kinda) restarted... then logged backed in. [2009-12-18]

    2. Reboot (what they did) is the same as log off and log back on (what I asked) . NO IT'S NOT, 'NUGGET! [2009-05-05]

    3. Copy & Move mean the same thing. We do refresh's on a 30 month rotation. With 14000 PC's, deploy's are a daily occurrence. When we schedule the deployment, the invite says to move data you want saved to a network share. I can't count the number of people who get MOVE and COPY confused. I go to do a deployment and there's 10gb's of data on the machine. "But I moved it!" No dumbass, you copied it. I can't run our tool on 10gb of data. At that point I get up out of the chair and make them delete it. No way I'm going to be held responsible if the didn't actually copy it to the network. When you buy a new house, do you COPY all your crap to it, or MOVE it? [2009-03-26]

    4. If the accessory fails to work, then it is in fact the accessory at fault, no TS required. 3 cases. 1st two are Verizion aircards failing to be recognized by the PC, in fact failing to show any sign of life. In both instances the client went to VZ and they sent new ones, with the same result. Then they open tickets on our helpdesk and come to find out the PCMCIA slot quit working. On the 1st one, the client couldn't understand that dropping the laptop, cracking the card and the palmrest of the PC, could cause any problem. Simple.. swap the drive into another machine, off she goes. 2nd one seemed to be an honest fault, at least there's no obvious damage. Just today I got a ticket that said the user's AC adaptor quit charging the battery, and they wanted a new one. Now putting that in the ticket desc is different than "Laptop battery not charging, please assist". So, since the adaptors are out of warranty (Fujitsu), I told him he'll need to order a new one and pay for it. I wonder if it'll fix the issue. Or, some more cases of "give them what they ask for, not what they need". [2007-08-22]

    5. That calling in a trouble ticket for a dead (as in dropped, no longer properly functioning laptop) then going on vacation is a GRAND idea. Oh, and turnng off voicemail is the cake topper. Hey bud, if you send it to me now, it'll be ready when you are. [2007-02-02]

    6. \ is a backslash, / is not, tard. [2006-10-03]

    7. That the 19 other people standing around you are wrong. This past Monday I dropped our kitty off to get spayed. It's a mobile clinic, cash only. Everyone was told this when they called to setup the appointment. Except this guy. "I asked and was told I could pay when I picked her up". This was said while all 20 of us are standing in a parking lot of the local PetCo. There's two people that run this clinic, the DVM, and the techinician. Odds are he just couldn't get to the bank in time. Rule #1 in full effect. [2005-11-03]

    8. If it takes a full minute and 4 tries (seriously) to park your car between the two white lines in the parking lot (after lots of lurching back and forth), a Cadillac Escalade EXT is not the car for you, especially if you're 5 foot nothing and look to be at least 65 years old. [2005-06-29]

    Tech Rules


    1. Shocking! Removing a medium weight jacket in a dry environment while wearing a telephone headset produces an interesting tingle from the earlobe, a crack of noise that's entirely too loud and my client asking "What the hell was that?" at the noise/static and my subsequent yelp of pain. [2009-11-10]

    2. It is not necessary to authenticate to bathroom fixtures. A team of us are on travel in the cold state of Minnesota doing a migration and have been working 14 hour days for the last 4 days. Last night after a bathroom break I tried to swipe my badge on the hand sanitizer dispenser so I could open the door to get out. Much hilarity ensued wehn I walked into the conference room and said "Let's play "How tired am I?"" and related the incident. [2008-03-23]

    3. Cisco Secure Desktop blows. That is all. [2006-10-25]

    4. "A laptop will boot succesfully after a systemboard swap only after the CPU has been PROPERLY secured." Oops. Only took 5 minutes to figure out that I forgot to turn the camlock screw. [2005-05-27]

    Customer Types


    1. Can only read one thing at a time.
    This is the suctomer that you ask multiple questions, and they answer one, usually the first, and it's not the most important part anyway. Example: Is it A or B? Positive or negative, Y or Z. Answer: 42. ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!
    [2005-04-07]

    Co-Worker Types


    1. How hard can it be?
    I wasn't sure whether to make this a story making fun of the user, or the helpdesk tech who couldn't figure it out. I tossed a coin.... you can figure out who's the bigger idiot. Actual ticket description: "User has dual display. User states the color on both monitors is really white. This happened this week." My ticket resolution?: "Showed customer how to change desktop background". That's right, she had accidentally/mistakenly/stupidly changed her background to a 2x10 pixel line in the middle of the screen. Probably a seperator or something. I wish our helpdesk would ask more questions.
    [2009-11-04]

    2. The forest for the trees...
    Or something. ME IMing with a network admin at corp.: Ok. The file that did it was called c.wmf, from the site http://<badjuju>.<tld> I kicked off a scan on <$User's> PC. Also, you may get another alert, as she clicked on the link in history to bring up the realtime infection alert. However, file was cured CW: cool that should be okay - I don't think they will send another alert for the same thing ME: <AV ADMIN> may be able to look in the logs to see exactly what the virus/trojan is all about CW: wow that was cool I did the link too ME: You're brave CW: yea - I got some script thing on my screen now that won't go away ME: oops
    [2007-02-09]

    3. 'nuggets at the Helpdesk
    Ticket just came into my queue: "Netwrok printer...lexmark c910...load mp test.... will not printer... client restarted the pc and it did not change" No shit? Hey, how's about's we reboot the printer too? And let's work on your writing ability while we're at it.
    [2006-10-12]

    4. CWPOTD
    Co-Worker phrase of the day; EU: (giving a UPS tracking number) ...4648 CW: 464...8 as in...8? ME: No dumbass, 8 as in 2.
    [2002-06-18]

    5. Duh...thunk...snore
    So it starts with our local Dell authorized tech calling me to set up an appointment to replace a keyboard on a Latitude. I had no idea what he was talking about. He said my partner had called in a trouble ticket. Called my partner (he's on travel in SoCal), he had called it in. Conferenced him in and got the appointment for Monday, as he'll be back then. After the Dell tech hung up, I asked him what happened. He had called me the day before wondering if Dell would warranty a keyboard if OJ got spilled in it. I said I doubt it. So, I asked him if that's what happened, he said no. He told me he had fallen asleep and fell face first into the keyboard, breaking 5 of the keys. He has T1 access at the hotel he's staying at, that should tell you something. I laughed so hard I almost gagged. He hung up on me at that point.
    [2002-03-29]

    Customer E-mails


    1. Subject: It's no use....
    Received this today to a global distribution list: Original message: Please call me when it’s convenient for you to discuss the problem with Meeting Place. Reply from client a week later: Never heard back from anyone on this. What am I suppose to do?
    [2006-01-31]

    2. Subject: I don't do that!
    So the client hires temps to do work for them, usually three month contracts. They do it all the time infact. In order for these contractors to get NT accounts and email, they need to fill out a non-associate access form. The form gets faxed to a different department in a different state. The managers know this. So on Tuesday I received 2 tickets that new contractors would be starting next Monday. Our intranet, where the form resides online, dies, so a manager emails me for a copy. I told him I don't have one, but another person had emailed him one JUST THE WEEK BEFORE! So the next day I get an email from him with 1 filled-out form attached. I can see where this is going, but I figure he can't be so stupid as to think I can create the accounts. The form has an entire page that only says how to submit the form. I didn't reply at the time. Today rolls around and I replied to him telling him that the phones have been setup and where does he want them. I also put "Great, as soon as *head office* gets them, they'll create the accounts and I can finish up the PC's.", in response to the first form. He replies with the second form. Replied back asking "So you're faxing those up to *head office* right? I can't do anything with them". These last two salvos took place over the course of 3 minutes. 10 minutes later he replies "Oh yeah, I just sent them out". So basuically, since he couldn't figure out to send the forms up to the people who actually do it, his two contractors get to sit on their asses until their accounts gets setup and I can finish the PC's. I figure it'll be at least Tuesday, maybe afternoon.
    [2005-04-29]

    3. Subject: From the helpdesk....
    "<Location Info> - <Asset info>, this is a Mulit Zync A500 pc and the monitor is going bad. It keeps shifting from light to dark. Please replace - user has been geting worse by the day too." Ummm, I'm not real sure if the vendor carries spare users. And, Mulit Zync? Is that a hair product?
    [2002-07-16]

    EUPOTD (End User Phrase of the Day)


    1. Calling Dell for tech support, I give her the service tag... Her: "And are you working with a Precision Workstation T7500 today?" Me:"Yes."... slight pause... Her:"Ok, and what model are you working with today?" Me: <Brain melting> [2009-11-11]

    2. EU: "What are you going to do with it?" In reference to replacing a PC with a troublesome fan. Me: "See if any of the windows on the fourth floor open". [2007-04-25]

    3. Said during a refresh of 100+ 17" CRT's... "Hehe, I thought I was getting a flat panel." Over and over, almost verbatim. It<WHAM>Stopped<WHAM>being<WHAM>funny<WHAM>after<WHAM>the<WHAM>5th<WHAM>time<WHAM>I<WHAM>heard<WHAM>it<WHAM> <WHAM><WHAM><WHAM><WHAM>!!! [2005-12-22]

    4. "That's why I brought my CD player in." Backstory: Moved a manager's laptop and dock this morning, and when it booted into Windows, the most god-awful screech could be heard from the monitor. She said it's done that for a long time, and the monitor's already been replaced once. I checked the display properties, and the poor thing had ben wailing its heart out at 85 Hertz. I changed it down to 70, and it was happy. The above was what the manager said when I asked how she's dealt with it all this time. [2005-10-17]

    5. Me: "What info are you putting in" Him: "All the correct stuff". [2005-10-11]

    6. While riding the elevator up this morning: EU1"I'm having a problem with my PC". EU2:"She's missing the NTFS file" Me looking at EU2, then turning to EU1:"So, what's the error?" [2005-10-07]

    7. A Me-POTD while standing on the TOP floor waiting for the elvevator, and having someone else walk up too: "Hey Vince, going down?" [2005-08-05]

    8. <Holding a keyboard's PS2 connector> "I need a keyboard with this connector, because all my USB's are filled." [2005-02-02]

    9. EU: "Ok, they're shaking hands.... now I hear the submarine sound" (referring to a v90 handshake session) [2002-02-22]

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