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Here is all the content that JoeLugian has contributed
to Tech Support Comedy. Tech Stories
1.
Yippeeee!!
Turbine has re-launched Asheron's Call 2! Free for AC1 subscribers. I sub'ed to AC1 just to play AC2! Oh how I missed it so.... If anyone decides to play, look me up. Player name is "Toth". Forum name is JoeLugian. SQUEEEE!!
[By: JoeLugian]
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You lost me after the word "has." -MeanDean
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2.
Epic
Wish I was there to see this..
http://notalwaysright.com/dovahkiins-day-off/19832
[By: JoeLugian]
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“FUS RO DAH!” I was wondering where that came from. It is referenced frequently in "Dungeons of Dredmor". -RoadDemon
Win. - virusjtg
here's a cartoon using that reference: http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00750.html -Erictheblue
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4.
Great test for idiots....
....but I would have admonished them a little more in the results page. http://ismycreditcardstolen.com/ Enter bogus info or no info at all and click "Check..." and see the result. I want to send this to all my users and shee who falls for it. If they do, they're fired.... :)
[By: JoeLugian]
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My card is safe. XD -DarkRookie
And how do we know this is *really* a safe test site? -RiffRaff
Yea, I wouldn't put in a real number myself, just thought it was funny. :) -JoeLugian
What, if you fill it in it doesn't come up with, "Yup, it's stolen now! Thanks for giving it to us, you dumbass!" or something like that? ;) -MadJack
Your request http://ismycreditcardstolen.com/ was denied because of its content categorization: "Phishing" -Grue
ahh my stuff doesnt get stolen http://ismycreditcardstolen.com/check.html -DarkRookie
(open wallet) Nope, cards still there!....secondly, if you are entering your info into the site off your card, the card is in your hand, not stolen. Their wording needs a little work. -ravensentinel
VISA: 4111 1111 1111 1111 NAME: John Q. Public. Result: failed. BUT it's a dummy number used for testing. It should have passed just on that basis. -Captain Trips
I put in nothing but letters for both fields and it worked. -DukeOfURL
I put made up stuff in that could have been legit and I got the warning. I think it's a great site actually. Might even make some people stop and think...? -wylfwt
Well, I just checked. The cards belonging to Mort Sahl, Lenny Bruce, and Jello Biafra (who all share the same card number) are safe and sound! -MeanDean
that url is about as dodgy as some of the legit verified by visa/mastercard securecard sites the issuing banks use. -boxcar
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5.
Just struck me as funny...
This is one of the funnier pictures I've seen on the internet in a while. I don't know why, it just got me laughing.. http://www.hahastop.com/pictures/Meanwhile_In_Britain.htm
[By: JoeLugian]
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Gotta love the Black Adder. -PolarCoyote
I thought it was Rowan Atkinson as Mr Bean, this is from Black Adder? -JoeLugian
JoeLugian: While Atkinson did BlackAdder as well, this is most definitely from Mr. Bean. I have seen that episode... though I don't remember him driving past that particular grassy verge. I'd guess either this photo was taken from a different angle while the episode was being filmed, or it was an impersonator or Atkinson himself re-enacting one of his more famous Mr. Bean bits. -chazz
Definitely Mr Bean. -Griffin2020
Probably a reenactment. -Griffin2020
My personal favorite is when he is making a turkey dinner and loses his watch in the turkey..... @¿@ -MarloVino
That's on a track rather than the road, so it could be a reenactment or an alternative view from the filming. -smellystudent
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6.
Ok, who was it?
Sounds just like something someone here would do. Fess up! :) http://notalwaysright.com/bad-data-good-outcome/10367
[By: JoeLugian]
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Geez, everyone knows about shaking the cable! Don't they? -ActingUpAgain
reminds me of the old story where the tech told the guy to straighten the cables so the "1's" would move faster! -Erictheblue
wasn't me. -virusjtg
I can't take credit for that one either, but I wish I could! -Jonos
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7.
Best thing I've read on Slashdot...
...in a while. Anyone else see this? The story is pretty good, but the comments are hysterical. Best use of a Yakov Smirnoff joke I've ever heard.
http://idle.slashdot.org/story/11/01/28/1228241/Spam-Text-Prematurely-Blows-Up-Suicide-Bomber
[By: JoeLugian]
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Looks like she suffered from premature detonation.. (que achmed) -McSmiley
Set the timer for 30 minutes but it went off in like 4 seconds. You know what that's like right? - </Achmed> -ApolloSZ
In Soviet Russia, spam deletes you. What a country! -Captain Trips
Now if we could only get more of these guys to, practice at home first. -Stryker One
reminds me of a "darwin award" story where some terrorsts got blown up by ther own bomb because one of them had forgotten to switch to daylight-savings time! -Erictheblue
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8.
Must try this next time...
http://notalwaysright.com/the-gondorian-is-always-right/9814
[By: JoeLugian]
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"I am Worf, son of Mogh!" -Jonos
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11.
Wish for a Phish
I can't remember if I submitted this before, but this happened a few years ago when the whole Bank Phishing Email thing was at its peak. I'm at our annual sales meeting giving a presentation to our sales force about the dangers on the internet (viruses, spyware, etc). I explain a Phishing e-mail (complete with a demo of one on the presentation screen). One of the sales holes says "Hey, I got one of those from Wachovia Bank a few days ago." "What did you do?" I ask. "I clicked the link and it brought me to the Wachovia website so I entered my user name and password but it just gave me an error when I clicked the login button." "Oh no." I said "You basically just gave the bad guys your user name and password for your Wachovia bank account!" "I don't have an account at Wachovia." says he. "You don't?" I say "Then what user name and password did you enter?" "I put i9n the user name and password for <custom sales application>". "If you don't have a Wachovia account, then why, pray tell, did you click the link and try and log in with a user name and password for another completely different and non related account?" (this was his answer, I swear to god) "Becasue I thought it had something to do with our company issued Bank of America credit card." I then asked him why he would think Wachovia would e-mail him about his Bank of America credit card. He got a little flustered and pissed "I don't know! I'm not a computer person!" True story...
[By: JoeLugian]
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As stupid as many users can be, I can be thankful that because of users like this I will stay employed... ;-) -FormerSithLord
How many times have you heard a fish say "I'm not very computer illiterate." I want desperatly to say "Well actually you are." -atomicbill
What I wish I/you could say: "This isn't a computer question, it's an accoutrements question. But, I guess salespeople don't know anything about accounts." -linkv
I thought the response would have been "Oh, I entered random info to waste the spammer's time." Silly me. -momo
Company expenses spiked. :) -Mushroom
That's about as fucktard as one can get -THETECHFROMHELL
And it's this kind of person that makes phishing a lucrative (if unethical and illegal) enterprise. -Captain Trips
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12.
How do I stop doing that?
Background: We produce in house an app that runs on MS Access for our sales reps to use that configures our products, submits orders, keeps track of pricing and customers, etc. We include in the app an EXIT button because closing an MDB file while it's in the middle of something can cause issues. We have a user who, for some reason, likes to close Access by clicking the X in the upper right corner of the program window at odd times. Most of the time it's in the middle of an order being sent to the corporate office or some other important procedure. We explain to him that he needs to let the program finish what it's doing BEFORE he closes it. (He had been having issues with orders not reaching corporate, imagine that!) He asks this question: "How can I stop myself from clicking the X while the program is running?" Seriously?? What the hell? I can't stop you from doing it! You jut need to NOT DO THAT! Jesus tap dancing christ! How do these people manage to figure out how to breathe???
[By: JoeLugian]
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I think they breathe by force of habit. They were taught young and the habit just stuck. -DarkRookie
Since it's an inhouse app, tell them to disable or remove the close button. This will just force the user to use Task Manager to kill it (if they're that smart. Which you remove with the Policy Editor, forcing them to reboot the system. For which you then wire mains to the power/reset button, which should drive the point (to the funeral) home. -VFox
I don't think you can remove that X progrmatically. The app is basically an MDE with several support MDB files. Does anyone know how to remove the window close button from a program window? -JoeLugian
You can customize the toolbar/windows to not display that button. Heck, you can make it so the Access program 'frame' doesn't display at all. -ChasingPuck
This might meet your needs: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/300688 -oldster
How, he asks? Two beautiful words, babe! "Electroshock Therapy." -boxxertrumps
That sounds like one of my users, "How do I keep my child from using my credit card?" Well, that's an extra service we offer, which costs around $800 a month, plus I'd have to live in your house, eat your food and stand over your child with a titanium baseball bat. Or you could be a parent. Your choice. -Biosynthetic
Dude, Mr. Sidhe and I will be in Orlando next weekend (Disney). Let me buy you a beer. -TechieSidhe
I have certainly removed the X in VB. I think I went to form properties, but my home PC hasn't got it at present. -Holdfast
I worked with a programmer whose opinion was MS Access - Only a single user ever, Paradox - A few users on a LAN, anything involving more users or a WAN use a proper relational database server. -AussieFoot
"The very fact that thou canst breathe must be by the arts of some homunculi or hob, smarter than thou, who doth sit upon thy shoulder and whisper in thy ear, 'breathe in, breathe out' else surely thou wouldst cease in this vital activity for lack of thought." from "there will be dragons" by John Ringo (part of a much longer insult) -Erictheblue
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13.
I have no clue how that got there...
Another user this morning: "I can't seem to download and view PDF's from the web. I am getting a message that this version of Foxit can't do that." I remote in and take a look, thinking he just has Foxit as the default PDF program and all I have to do it restore the file association back to Adobe Acrobat 9.0 Standard that came with the laptop. Get in there and....hmm, can't seem to associate PDF with Adcrobat from the list, let's browse for it..... HMMMMM, ther eis no Acrobat folder in Program Files.. WHAT?? Ask the user: "Why/when did you install Foxit?" User: " I don't know how it got there. I didn't install it." Me: "Then why/when did you UNinstall Adobe Acrobat.?" User: " I don't know, I didn't do it! I have no idea what you're talking about!" Me: "Seriously, these things just don't install and uninstall on their own. Did you install anything recently?" User: "NO! I'm telling you I didn't do this and don't know how this happened! All I know is that for the last few days I haven't been able to open PDF files!" I'm calling Shenanigans. This guy either did it to himself or let his kid use his WORK laptop (which is punishable by death in my book).. In the end, he has no access to PDF files until I send him the Adobe Acrobat 9.0 install disc. What the hell is wrong with people???
[By: JoeLugian]
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Not to sound like a misanthropic people-hater, but, you maintain the illusion that it's people. Besides, they're like little sociopathic children, and know that admitting to doing something will get them in trouble. The separation between 'I did it-I'm in trouble' and 'If I admit anything-I'm in trouble' is painful. -LDFeral
Never, ever forget rule #1. -atomicbill
Tom Smykowski: Well... well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people? -Biosynthetic
I had a fairly simple task for a computer novice get a lot more complicated, because he had a new install of XP and I sent him a .pdf for review. You guessed it, there was no acrobat reader. I have assumed that M$ would have some arrangement in place with Adobe for a basic install to be included with windows, so I had to send him a link to adobe (and, as you know, the acrobat download is not necessarily that easy to find on the page) - took a while, but I like the fact that Mac OSX has something built-in. -AlanSmithee
There is a glitch with M$ installer and Acro 9 updates that pops the modify/remove option mid-update. The Foxit is a operator issue. -PolarCoyote
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14.
Thanks, McAfee! Bastards!
I come back from lunch today to see that my PC has rebooted itself. Hmm, that's weird. Reboot and log in. McAfee says it's found the w32/Wecorl.a virus in svchost.exe. DCOM decided to shut down my PC.. I panic. Turns out it's a DAMN FALSE POSITIVE! MCAfee's DAT that came out today (and my PC updated to at noon today) is throwing a false positive for that virus on svchost.exe.. Not only that! It DELETES svchost! PC is unusable until you cna find a way to copy a good version of svchost.exe to teh system32 folder. Not only my machine, but several others in my organization.. FUN!
[By: JoeLugian]
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yup... posted about it in the forums. Sucks. We have around 100 machines we have to now manually fix because of this. -K9Insanity
Wow. Core system files now. I hope not too many of you folks are dealing with mcCrappy. Or as those I like to strangle call it: mick-a-fee. -LDFeral
Just got an advisory on this myself - we blocked FTP access to McAfee so the updates won't download until we see a new DAT out there. Why are these guys still around? (I know - cause organizations like the one I work for keep paying them.) -Dutch
Let see I support a user base of about 58000. Fun times. (I have had about 15 calls) -DarkRookie
huh. looks like they posted a sort-of fix
http://vil.nai.com/vil/5958_false.htm -LDFeral
By 'fix', I mean damage control. 'Don't download the update,' my ass. There is more to it, but still... -LDFeral
According to one source I saw, McAfee pulled the update from the repository that was causing the issue. Shouldn't happen to anyone else. Keeping fingers crossed that only the 3 PC's here were affected... -JoeLugian
Here's my answer to all those "security" packages out there: http://www.eset.com/store -unrenowned
The moral of this story is: Don't use mcafee or norton! -desseb
I'm sad to say McAfee is located about 40 miles from me. I feel dirty every time I have to drive anywhere near the place. -Grembo
You'd think they'd whitelist all of the system files on standard Windows installs. :-( -Chromatix
Chromatix: but there are so frelling _many_ of them, and viruses will actually replace some of them. It's not safe to say svchost.exe is safe, because there is at least one virus that renames svchost.exe, then renames itself to svchost.exe and passes legit requests through to the renamed file; and it is not safe to say svchost.exe with a CRC of X is safe because the next MS patch will release a svchost.exe with a CRC of Y. Plus, if everyone uses MD5, it is possible to cruft together a virus of SVCHOST.EXE with one of the whitelisted MD5 checksums... -chazz
We lucked out and caught it early - only about 75 systems or so. Seen reports of networks with thousands of affected machines. I'll just use this as ammo in my campaign to switch to TrendMicro. -Grayhawk
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16.
Browsing qdb.us...
....and found this gem. A couple of TSC's own! http://qdb.us/67276
[By: JoeLugian]
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"I just threw up in my mouth a little bit"... /Kate DBaTUS -AngrySup
On the other hand, a good looking girl is a good looking girl. :-) -AngrySup
They never answered me :( -Mango
Mango - I'm sure if you ask him, Dr.Burrkiss will give you his "considered opinion". -lineswine
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17.
Comic strip mimics real life
Frigging HILARIOUS! http://theoatmeal.com/comics/computers
[By: JoeLugian]
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I don't find this funny at all. Probably because it's dead on. -Evan
You could always just give your relatives, etc this: http://www.xkcd.com/627/ (yes, another xkcd)
-Ramblin
"Would you rather teach me how to use Facebook, or help decorate the tree?" "TREE!" -MadJack
I laughed, I cried, I cried some more. Too close for comfort, methinks... -rosemetal
The author didn't cover the tirade when they download something that fubars the computer completely & it's all *your* fault because you touched it. Once. Years ago. "But it worked fine until you fixed it!" -Tekkie
Hmm. Now to explain to the girlfriend why her next bunny should be named Captain Miffles... -GreyDuck
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18.
Glad I'm not a web designer...
Bradford sent this to me earlier today. Thought it was worth sharing.. the Plight of the Web Designer: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell
[By: JoeLugian]
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Equal lvl's of lol http://theoatmeal.com/comics/computer_phases -0gr3
http://biznik.com/forums/community-wide-general-discussion/topics/if-architects-had-to-work-like-web-designers -- another classic. -NightSteel
If it came from Bradford, shouldn't it be in Punjabi? -lineswine
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19.
Nope, Ain't gonna sell it to ya!
Sorry for the lack of formating.. One of my sales reps comes to see me the other day. To make a long story short, I'll just provide the details. Rep has a company issued laptop and bought a printer with wireless capabilities for his house. Rep has no internet connection at his house, rather relies on a Verizon Wireless air card. Rep asked if it was possible to print to said wireless printer, wirelessly. I told him, absolutely, go get a wireless router, set it up, plug it in and configure the wireless printer to connect to it, then configure your laptop to connect to the wireless router. Once that is done,run the setup program for the printer, it should find the printer on the network and install it. He's very happy. He goes to a local store (Not sure if it was Best Buy, Staples, Office depot, but ot was one of those.) Explains to the salesperson what he needs and why. Salesperson explains in no uncertain terms that it' won't work at all because he's not using the internet connection. Sales person REFUSED to sell the wireless router ($50 linksys) to my rep becasue of this..... Now I ask you, fair TSCers, Why in the hell would a salesperson refuse to sell something in his store?
[By: JoeLugian]
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Been burned too many times by wannabe techs who thought they knew what they were doing, didn't, and came back to chew him a new one because of their own incompetence? -Calydor
Joe - Whinderz usually has problems, even today, with split NICs on non-server OSes. Can be coaxed to ... HOWEVER! If the printer supports "Ad Hoc", and you turn on Ad Hoc on the laptop (something I advise STRONGLY against, BTW ... ), he won't need the router. Or he can get a BlueTooth adapter for the printer, and use BlueTooth off the laptop (if it needs a dongle, it needs a dongle.) -ralphp1024
I agree with Calydor. I've had dozens of customers convinced that what they were buying would do their dishes, lower their cholesterol, and give them a blowjob. When said things failed to happen, it was always MY FAULT because I LIED TO THEM! Of course, I never made such promises, but customers can never blame themselves for their own stupidity, so they blame you. Now... I wouldn't have refused to sell a product, but I would sometimes make it very clear that the customer wasn't buying the product for its intended use. -linkv
ahem.... everyone ready? Ok, here I go.... <drumroll> "NO ROUTER FOR YOU!!" - Sales Nazy <rimshot. ... Thank you, have a nice night. -TheGhost
even more surprising since a lot of those dufuses work on commision. how do you refuse to sell a customer what they specifically know they want. i'd have asked for a supervisor but thats just me. -rhiannon
<devils advocate> When you tether to a wireless phone, usually you cannot use the wireless network in the laptop at the same time, therefore the Rep would not be able to print to the printer wirelessly until he dropped the cell phone connection. This would cause all kinds of problems for the Rep and whomever is supporting him/her. </devils advocate> -ecoli
Weird. Unless that was the only person on staff in that store, I'm surprised he didn't simply call out "Who wants the commission on this sale?" -Geminii
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20.
Only the best security..
Co worker/friend comes to me today and tells me that the website for one of his credit cards (login to manage your account) is screwed in the security department. He showed me how he gained access to his account by not entering his password correctly! 1. Navigate to the site's login page. 2. Enter valid username but invalid password. 3. Repeat step 2, now account is locked. 3. Still on Login screen with account locked, Click Get information, then Change Address. 4. Click account summary. 5. LOGGED INTO ACCOUNT!!! Actually tried this with a random made up username and GOT IN! Coworker called the CC comapny and tried to explain the issue. Fell on deaf ears, CSR that answered his call said "I'm sorry sir, all Ic an do is check on your balance, you're up to date!" No clue if the CSR told anyone about it or not. Talk about an easy website to hack! (for security sake, I won't post the website address)
[By: JoeLugian]
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I really, REALLY hope I don't have an account with that company. -virusjtg
+1 with Virus... Would you be so kind as to try and call them and ask for a supervisor to explain the issue to them? That means millions of people could be exposed to identify theft and ill-gotten charges/transactions. -DarthKoenig
What company? I'd like to yank out any money I may have with them. -Stryker One
Good grief. I can't even recall how many so-called 'secure' sites like that there are out there. Click 'forgot e-mail?' and they should be sending it to the e-mail addy of record, NOT allowing it to change with the ease allowed for the password. -MadJack
Which credit card? I want to make sure I don't have an account with them. -Seamyst
Stryker, wrong question. It goes, "What company? I want to yank out what money OTHERS may have with them." -Calydor
Yes, I think at this point we all want to know what company this is... -AnneBWalsh
ok, due to popular demand, the website is wbbankcard.com. man, I hope I don't get into trouble because of this... -JoeLugian
Related topic: how many banks and credit card sites only allow letters and numbers in the PW? -BayouTech
And people wonder why I never set up my cc accounts to get info online. -THETECHFROMHELL
Joe, I'd suggest calling again. Get the name of the CSR you speak with, and if they refuse to do anything, tell them that the media will have a hayday with this. Then demand a supervisor. -Caboose447
yeah, secuirty.... uh huh.... Otis, your cue... -AdmiralLaurie
Joe- if you don't have any luck with the bank, let me know. I'll grab contact info for V.P. Global Security for Mastercard. Considering VISA, MC, and Discover were drivers behind the whole PCI-DSS program they have a strong interest in compliance by member banks- I'm sure that he'd make sure that someone was coming down on the bank from above, communicating to them rather strongly about the issue. (Once in awhile, trade organizations come in handy!) -Voz
This is scary. -pencil
You warned them? Exploit it. -boxxertrumps
If anyone wants to inform them of the security hole, please be do. My co-worker is closing his account with them so he's no longer concerned. ;) I don't have an account so I'm not sure how to explain that I was screwing around with their website. :) -JoeLugian
Wow. My employer participates in PCI. If we had a vulnerability like that our auditors would have our heads. -thx1138
They aren't responding at any of their numbers... my call to Mastercard (whom they have some affiliation with) just got bounced around and around and no one did anything... I'll call them in the AM. -cyberblade3001
I talked to them this morning and they said they'd pass a message on to their website people... Unsure as to whether anything will actually get done, but I can hope... -cyberblade3001
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21.
OT, sorry
Just noticed I can't log in to my GMail account. Any attempt results in a message "Reenter your password to view your gmail account". Google docs and notes works OK. Anyone else having an issue?
[By: JoeLugian]
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Working here -starfishmagnet
Working for me now as well. Weird.. -JoeLugian
I've been having issues when using it with IE, I've had to switch it on to being my one of my firefox sites. -Icelator
Caps Lock? Hehehehe -Stryker One
Actually strykers comment made me thing, i had an issue with someone where firefox randomly reversed the case ( when caps lock light was on it was in lower case and vice versa) and it seemed to fix itself after a few minutes -starfishmagnet
Works fine for me (FF on Ubuntu Jaunty). -Seamyst
i'm good too.. hmm possible phishing? -Harm
SFM, I think I may have had that issue. Google Docs and Notes worked but couldn't log into GMail. I tried several times, same password, no luck. All of a sudden, it worked... I have no explanation. :)
-JoeLugian
For a while last night, my iGoogle page was acting weird. I go to the .com version of it so I can use Latitude, but it was showing "Latitude is not available for your location" and giving me none of my Google Bookmarks - which is what usually happens when I am forced over to the .ca site. That behavior was noted last night on my Ubuntu machine; when I got up this morning and used my XP and Vista boxes, they worked OK (under Firefox). -Jay911
All working here. Sounds like Google's had another brainfart. -Gromit
Woks for me. But apparently something happened to some services of google last night even youtube had a hiccup. -kennz
Have you tried turning it off & back on? *runs* -lineswine
It might not fix software (or device firmware) that transposes case (or characters) -- but with password trouble sometimes I type it in a field where it's visible, then copy (or cut) and paste. -FuzzyElf
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22.
CD, are you in on this?
http://www.theledger.com/article/20090507/NEWS/905079978/1410?Title=Busty-Brits-Decry-Extra-Charge-on-Bigger-Bras
[By: JoeLugian]
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I'm sorry but I have to pay more for my clothes because I'm huge and I accept it because it does take more material and therefore cost more to make. -Icelator
It seems to me that the author of the article missed a golden opportunity to increase readership by including pictures. -MeasureThrice
This is absurd. My tall size clothes cost more, because I get more fabric with it. These women are whining about something that is logical. I hope the courts tell them to stuff it. (the argument, not the bra!) -ChasingPuck
so why do my shoes (I have small feet) cost the same as for somebody with size 12 feet?!? (NO, I'm not serious...I know that for shoes the cost is supposedly in the *labor* <snerks>) -CTYankee
CEO: "The customer is always right. Implement Plan B. Raise the price $6.00 on all our products." -ThinTheHerd
Guys, the likelihood is that its not a matter of fabric cost. Its the increased cost per unit of making smaller clothing size runs. -Darkridr
This article useless without pics. That being said, as a fat man I've been accustomed to paying more for larger sizes for years. It's about time that well endowed ladies have to pay for the same privledge. -Bioguy
I am rather...round. I pay more for larger clothes, because they use more fabric. My BF is tall. He pays more for clothes because they use more fabric. Some of the helmets I make at work are made for soldiers with large heads. They use (wait for it) more material. I don't see what the problem is here? -halfstarfish
Burrkiss and I have to pay more for our condoms than average guys, and... wait; I've said too much already. *bfeg* -RiffRaff
Riff: Yeah, but Burkiss needs to buy the steel-belted ones. -MeanDean
The root of the irritation is that M&S don't charge extra for larger sizes for other types of clothing, and no other retailer charges extra for larger bras. -pixel
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23.
Events of my afternoon...
Ever hear of a "Perfect Storm"? That's when everything that can go wrong, goes wrong. At about 1:45pm, 2 power lines outside of my office start dancing in the wind. They touch and the arc they make is like the 4th of July fireworks! Trips the circuits to our building and I'm in the dark. I'm not worried because I have a 100kx generator that runs my office, the server and COM rooms. Only after 1 minute, the transfer switch doesn't kick in. Uh oh. I run out, the generator is TRYING to start but not turning over. RRRR! RRR! RRR! It's going but not starting. I rush back in and start shutting down servers as my UPS's won't last but 10 minutes tops. I get most of them shut down but not all of them before the UPS's gave out. 1 hour later, Generator repair guy and Electric company are on site getting everything fixed. Power is back on but generator still won't crank. UGH. I think I aged 10 years in an hour...
[By: JoeLugian]
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Reactor scram, reactor scram! Rig ship for reduced electrical. Prepare to snorkle! -atomicbill
So, who gets the blame for the generator failure? -Stryker One
Just found out, generator failure is due to bad ignition unit. New one is ordered and shipping overnight. Should have it installed tomorrow. Luckily I didn't get blamed for the generator failure "these things happen". Besides, it tests itself every Friday at 2pm. It ran last Friday as schedules. Whatever happened to it happened in the last 4 days... -JoeLugian
Gremlins. -Starfury
Jack Perkins: When she died at the age of 29, due to what scientists called a "perfect storm" of venereal diseases, Alberta left behind osme of the Blues' most poetic and timeles classics. Songs like: "Butt Party".. "I Don't Do Oral".. "Weiner Patrol".. "Okay, Fine, I'll Do Oral".. "Autumn Nocturn".. "Teabags For Two".. Alright, I'm not reading the rest of these. -Biosynthetic
Bio, where is that from? That sounds familiar..LOL -JoeLugian
You do know that any emergency system will work perfectly whenever is tested, but it will fail in an emergency, don't you? That's why you always have two backups, so they can both fail at the same time. It's in the Murphy's Handbook. -TheGhost
The building I maintained had one of those installed. First thing the installer told me: don't use the auto-test program, it burns out the ignition. I did manual tests weekly. -ThinTheHerd
That's why the only way to test is to drive a truck into the pole holding the elctrical trunk once a week. Sure, the power delivery company gets pissed, but you KNOW your genset works properly. -Griffin2020
SNL skit from about 6 years ago: A&E Albert Jones. You should be able to find the video somewhere. -Biosynthetic
test firing once a week is a little overkill. I usually test my generator 1x per month, and verify that it's full of fuel every other week. Last time I had a failure in a generator was not in a server room, but a large chicken barn. in the 5 minutes it took from getting paged about a power failure, check the generator, kick the generator, and hook up a backup unit power by a tractor the barn had gotten to the point where I could barly breath when I entered to check the stock. -garwain
We light up our genset once a week, but maybe we have a good reason to test that often. :) At our old center, though, we were turning on the genset just as the 400V HVAC units (which are supposed to be shut down, but were forgotten) kicked in. Lights were exploding from the ceilings, printers caught fire.. we call the girl who threw the switch that day "Flash". :) -Jay911
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24.
Possible Part-Time tech Opportunity
Sorry to put this on the main page, but I know more folks see this than the forums. Our contract programmer told me today that a private Elementary/Middle school in St. Petersburg Florida is in need of a part time tech. From what I can tell, it's a Windows PC network, 2 or 3 computer labs, administrator PC's etc. Looking for someone to freelance or possibly work part time documenting and maintaining the PCs and networks. Right now that's all I know, if you are interested, let me know. I know there are a few techs in the Tampa Bay area on this site. Anyone need some side work?
[By: JoeLugian]
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Maybe. PM me the details, and I'll see what I can do. I might also have some people interested. -TechieSidhe
If it could be done remotely, I'd willingly take it. -AdmiralLaurie
I am in Plant City. That is a bit of a drive but I need the job. Let me know if something happens -DarkRookie
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25.
Wish me luck!
Today starts my install of 2 identical Dell Poweredge 2950/EMC CX4 SAN systems. (2 servers per SAN, VMWare ESX 3.5 installed on the 2950's to virtualize 6 servers between them). One set to be located here at my corporate office, the other identical set to be shipped to my Alabama location to be used for DR if needed. Replicating data between the 2 SAN's over my 3MBPS WAN link.Right now, I have Dell techs onsite assembling the SAN's and installing firmware upgrades. Tomorrow, a VMWare rep arrives to install VMware ESX on all the servers and help me convert the 6 physical servers to virtual ones.... I am scared and excited at the same time as I have absolutely NO experience with ANY of this what so ever. Hope I can learn enough to keep it all going once they leave me. :) Please pass any good karma you can spare my way, I think I'm going to need it!
[By: JoeLugian]
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Dell, huh? Just make sure you punch air holes in the crate you're shipping out... Those hamsters need all the air they can get. -exzyle2k
Have you downloaded and fooled around with VMWare Server 2.0 ? The web interface is similar to the one you'll deal with on ESX. HOWEVER, the VMWare hardware by default is not. I believe the ESX supports up to version 1.4 but the VMWare server 2.0 creates them in 1.7 by default. ( i.e. You can move or copy a VM / Device create by ESX to VMWare Server 2.0 but not the other way around. ) The only advice I can give is delete any serial ports that the VMWare Converter creates. Serial ports are NOT supported at this time. -Necros
Have a plan to kill everyone you meet. -vacuumtubes
That plan should never depend on zombies not learning how to climb stairs. And people. -Darkridr
Good luck! I have been working with Dell servers and EMC storage for a while. I'd love to ditch Dell in favor of real servers, but I think our CTO is getting kickbacks from them (and MS, which is a whole different story). The EMC stuff is good, but make sure that your contact list for support is right the first time, because getting them to change it after the fact is a nightmare. In fact, I'm on the phone with them right now trying to sort that all out... again. -SalParadise
Oh, 3Mb/s for data replication?? I sure hope it's a lightly used system. When we had to move our production systems to a co-location site, we estimated that we'd need 15-20Mb/s to keep up with the amount of data that changes on our systems. We have 2 oracle databases with about 6TB of data, and modify millions of rows per week, though. -SalParadise
We have REAL replication. Real-time over 2000 miles, 6-9 second average exposure. Over 10 TB transmitted on an average 24 hours, 600 GB in 15 minutes peak. Two OC-48s. It's all going away at the end of the year. -TieDyedDinosaur
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27.
It's here!!!
Woo Hoo! My new Dell XPS 1530 Laptop just arrived. Windows Vista Home Premium 64 Bit, 128GB SSD Hard Drive, 4GB RAM, 2.5Ghz Core2Duo proc, 256MB nVidia 8600 video card and a 15.4" hi def glossy screen. I think I'm in love... sigh....:)
[By: JoeLugian]
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So how long until you install XP, or some version of linux? -garwain
Sorry to hear about the bad news *hi ho hi ho its off to the LART I go!* -unrenowned
Smartasses! :) I'm actually going to live with Vista for the time being. When it launches, I plan on purchasing and installing Windows 7 for this laptop. My old laptop (Dell Inspiron 9300) has Ubuntu 8.10, and it's awesome! -JoeLugian
<angelicvocalization><lightsfromonhigh>Dude, you're getting a Dell!</lightsfromonhigh></angelicvocalization> -Biosynthetic
SSD?!?! You opted for the SSD?!?!? I hate you! Well, not really, but I'm jealous. -ThinTheHerd
I really think that there needs to be a dual drive option. Hard disk for backup and 'bulk files' as well as the SSD for 'active' data. The hard disk can be 'spun down' for most of the time. -TieDyedDinosaur
I've resisted SSD because of the limited number of write cycles. Seems to me that using SSD for swap is asking for trouble. -chazz
Chazz, I was reading up on that very same thing. The "limited" write/read cycles on an SSD drive translate to 5+ years of constant reading and writing. I feel safe that this SSD drive will last as long as I plan on using the laptop. If not, I'll buy an extra SATA laptop hard drive and keep it as a spare. :) -JoeLugian
Chazz, read the last paragraph under the "Disadvantages" section of this article: http://maximumpc.coverleaf.com/maximumpc/200902/?pg=58 pretty much explains why I am not worried. -JoeLugian
Are you sure 128GB will be room enough to install Win7? -AussieFoot
The write-cycle limit is the reason why I'm wary of SSDs. Conventional HDs have practically unlimited write cycles and are so cheap that I keep buying 500-750g units when I need more storage. The only downside is the time taken to format them. -Wraith556
Hope all your peripherals are brand new or else good luck finding drivers for them! Also I wish you luck with finding software that works reliably (although that area is getting better but not enough to make me want to switch). Vista isn't bad once you kill UAC, tweak the security center and do a few other optimizations for browsing and the like. 128GB of any type of storage just wouldn't cut it for me. oh and dude? 17 inch wide screen is awesome - should have looked into that! Ok, now that I have busted your balls enough, oooooo shiny...can I play with it?? -frprinterwiz
live with Vista? what's that ticking sound? -stiffarm
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28.
Ubuntu.... again
I've decided to try Ubuntu again. Since I am awaiting my new Dell XPS 1530 with Vista Home Premium, I decided to nuke/pave my current Dell Inspiron 9300 with Ubuntu 8.10. WOW! It found ALL hardware with no issues. From the time I installed, thru installation finishing and installing all updates took me less than 1 hour! Installed a cool theme, icon, and font package (SlicknesS Black and SNAP) it looks great. Screenshot to follow.
[By: JoeLugian]
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Here's the link to the screenshot: http://i373.photobucket.com/albums/oo177/JoeLugianTSC/screenshot11709.png -JoeLugian
Has anyone tried getting a 7 year old to do it? Or a 70 year old... -Holdfast
Has anyone tried getting this person to do it?: http://www.techcomedy.com/single/single.php?content_number=78456 -MisterCommon
Why do I always try to click on buttons on screen shots?! -Tekkie
( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1745047/ ) My screen shot... compressed, sadly. -ShujinTribble
I've got a 7-year-old using it, and I plan on teaching him how to install it soon, as well. It's easy. -DarthIndy
Love my Ubuntu 8.10. the only issue I had was a start up issue because I am on a laptop. Something funky with the acpi settings but a quick edit to the menu.lst file as suggested on the forums resolved that. If it wasn't for the fact that hubby won't make the switch, there wouldn't be any Windows OS left on this machine. -frprinterwiz
new screenshot! http://i373.photobucket.com/albums/oo177/JoeLugianTSC/Screenshot2_11709.png -JoeLugian
Lookin' good! -clockkingfl
I'm a big fan of Ubuntu in general; I've got 8.04 Server and 8.10 Desktop running here, both are uber nice. The next version, 9.04, is supposed to have support for ext4 which is said to be a very fast filesystem compared to the others. Can't wait for that. -RamenMcTavish
I managed to d/l and burn new ubuntu disk while drunk. their work continues to impress.
-HappyCrappy
I see both of my IRC accounts in your last screenshot! -Caboose447
I had used Ubuntu some at work, primarily for setting up an employee web browsing kiosk that I wouldn't have to worry about cleaning malware off of once a week. When my wife got a new hard drive, we couldn't find her (6+ year old OEM) WinXP disc, and rather than try and ghost the drive and resize partitions, I said "Wanna try Ubuntu?". She hasn't looked back. Later, when we found the WinXP disc, I offered to set her up as dual-boot, her response was "Why?". We're looking at building new boxes come tax refund time, and they're both getting Ubuntu. I've always said when Linux got to the point you could put in a disc, click a few buttons, and have it up and running with full hardware support, I'd never pay for Windows again. Ubuntu got it to that point (although Win7 may make me a liar if I can't get GTA IV working in CrossOver before then). -veaudaux
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30.
How are they allowed to educate our kids
Saw this on Slashdot and it was also e-mailed to me by the Ubuntu group mailing list. Teacher sees a student talking to other students about Linux and handing out Live CD's teacher gets pissed and takes the CD's from the student and writes Ken Starks, the head Of HeliOS project about how what he's doing is illegal and wrong, how the Microsoft OS is the best and only OS anyone should be using, and how software is NEVER free. Lady MUST be CRAZY....
http://linuxlock.blogspot.com/2008/12/linux-stop-holding-our-kids-back.html
[By: JoeLugian]
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Even the (un)educated believe there is no free lunch sometimes -srteach
AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH. That is all I can think to say about that. -evolvedstarfish
Thoes that can do Thoes that cant Teach. -Crai
Even Microsoft gives stuff away for free, virtual pc, internet explorer, and not to mention a whole crapload of software given out to technology students. -Icelator
anyone have an alternate link for this page? Blogs are blocked here -neuman1812
Here's the Slashdot link: http://linux.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08%2F12%2F10%2F001236&from=rss Unfortunately the blog is the original source (the article is about an email they recieved) -DarthIndy
Ok so I just read the blog....I realy hope this a joke. Someone like this should be taken out back and shot -neuman1812
Oh dear DOG ...they are multiplying! http://talkback.zdnet.com/5206-12355-0.html?forumID=1&threadID=31199 read comment 3.2 (Jerry) -neuman1812
Saw this yesterday-it was linked to under 'Linux Today" on the Members Area page... I kept thinking of posting a link-but every time I started to write my anger took over... I have no idea how the author managed such a calm reply. -cyberblade3001
I saw it too. I wanted to post it, but I couldn't convince myself that it was real. I don't think anyone can be that stupid. I refuse to believe it. No, don't try to convince me otherwise, I need to keep what little faith in humanity I still have. -TheGhost
He's even got his own fansite now: http://jerryleecooper.com/ -Caboose447
Pardon me. I have to crawl off and die laughing hysterically for a few hours - looks like I'm gonna be late for work! -Seamus
"Mmm... forbidden software"</Homer> -ThinTheHerd
Oh dear lord, I read that comment and fuck me, MCB LIVES -CommanderData
I followed Caboose and Newman's links. Judy Patch has found her perfect match. Now all they need is to marry, have a son, and name him ... Linus. <ROTFL> -TheGhost
What's really funny is he comes back and says more, comment 20, 22, 22.1.2, 23, ... OH DEAR GOD HE HAS A SITE http://jerryleecooper.com/ -Icelator
sorry didn't realize link was already posted. -Icelator
The first comment that jerry guy posted, about 'you know its more than just office, right?', I've read it before. -evolvedstarfish
Hm. No blog updates since April, and for some odd reason, ALL the Google adds on Le Cooper's main page are for .. Linux. Hm. Hm. Hm. -emdeebee
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32.
Interesting way to print..
Backstory: We code and maintain our own order entry/contact manager/formulation application for our salesmen out in the field. One of the features of this app is to print address labels. One of the sales reps calls me with an issue, When he goes to print the labels on the Avery 8160 label stock, they start to get misaligned starting at the 5th row. Wants me to troubleshoot. I ask him "Are you sure you are using the 8160 stock?" "Yes" "OK, show me how you print." "Ok, I go to the Label screen, select the contacts then click preview labels." Ok, that's correct so far. " right, then I print it to a PDF, then I..." "Wait, you print to a PDF? Why?" "Well, I don't have a printer hooked up to my work laptop so I print it to a PDF, e-mail it to my home PC then print it from there." I try and explain that trying to print an image onto the labels won't work do to margins getting resized and such.... "So, how do I print the labels then?" "Hook the printer up to your laptop" I say 'But i work wirelessly, can i print wirelessly?" "Well, is the printer hooked up to your home network?" "No, it's hooked up to my home PC" (Note: I understand I could share the printer on the home PC then print to the shared printer, but I am NOT going to start supporting his damn home PC). "Well" I say" Your options are to get the CD that came with the printer, install the drivers on your laptop and then hook the printer to the laptop and print that way." 'But, isn't there a way to make the printer wireless?" 'No, you'd have to either buy a printer with wireless capabilities or one with network capabilities to hook it to the network, then if it's set up properly, you could print wireless." "But I like working wireless." "I understand, but I can't magically make your printer a wireless fucking printer if it dosen't have that capability. Just install the driver on your laptop, hook the printer to your laptop and print that way. OK? thanksbye"
[By: JoeLugian]
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"Can't you just hit the Easy Button?!" I'll hit *something*, alright. Grrrr... -AmazingKreskin
That's a great story. Reminds me of this one: http://www.rodswigart.com/Jokes/soundjokes/WavFiles/techsup.wav -Biosynthetic
Kreskin: do not get me involved! -unrenowned
"And I like Playboy bunnies, but the printer's not going to magically start coming up with those either." -Geminii
What, can't you just wave your magic tech screwdriver, say the magic words, and make it happen? Or did you run out of Teckno-Mana? -Deadagent
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34.
google Gadgets
Anyone else here use igoogle as their homepage? I do and use many of the gadgets to display my gmail account, weather, slashdot, etc. I was wondering what would be involved with creating a TSC gadget that shows the latest submitted content. I am not a programmer so I don't even know where to start... Any ideas?
[By: JoeLugian]
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we already have an RSS feed, you can add that directly to your igoogle page -Tarantulus
actually, just did that! I found it after I posted this. the Google reader gadget is a little bit of a pain in the ass, showing feeds from a few friends. I can't seem to find a way to remove what I don't want and just have teh TSC stuff. It's like Google Reader automatically inserts shared stuff fro my "google friends" adn doesn't allow me to filter it out... -JoeLugian
um, the latest sumbitted content is right below the list of newest star members. well, it's below it to jaws... -AdmiralLaurie
Master of the obvious AL... And Joe, you can turn off the shared settings in the 'sharing settings' link just under the sharing folder on the left. -evolvedstarfish
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35.
Yay FiOS!
Just had Verizon install FiOS at my house yesterday. Holy Crap is it fast! 20M down and 5m up speeds, Speedtest.net confirmed it too! The Router they gave me was easy to configure and supports dynamic DNS updating. The only thing I didn't like about it was no WPA, only WEP encryption. Oh well, if I want WPA, I can always hook my Linksys back up.
Overall, FiOS experience was phenominal!
[By: JoeLugian]
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And they did it without setting your house on fire or drilling through your power lines? I'm amazed! (And jealous, we have Comcrap or DSL only here) -Starfury
Actually, installation took a mere 2.75 hours and everything worked perfectly on the first try!. 2 thumbs up! -JoeLugian
<bitter>bitch... </bitter> -Tarantulus
If you have the Actiontec MI424-WR, you can use WPA, it is under the Wireless Settings in the Advanced Security Settings. If just comes from Verizon with WEP enabled and a default WEP key in place. -bonehead
You probably want to add a wireless router to the modem anyway. That way you can provide a temporary key to visitors with their laptops without giving out your main wireless key and then have to re-key it and all of your laptop, wii, etc devices for security each time. -TieDyedDinosaur
Bonehead, I'm not near the device right now, but I will check it out when I get home. I DID see where the WEP key was, but it looked like my choices were "No Security" or "WEP". I'l check though. Thanks! -JoeLugian
Those are the choices on the Basic Security Settings page, the others are on the Advanced page. Still haven't figured out why they just didn't put it all in one place... -bonehead
Bonehead, you were absolutely correct! Found the WPA setting and am now using it instead of WEP. Thanks! -JoeLugian
Word of caution: Verizon FiOS service is tied into the Verizon supplied router. If you swap out the router you'll have to call TS and get them to update the new MAC address. Of course you can always just turn off the wifi on the router and slap on a wireless-N access point. Most laptops don't have N capable adapters though so you'll want to pick up a matching N adapter (since 802.11N is still in draft). -unrenowned
Previous comment comes from when I was sent out to a customer's home to troubleshoot their wireless network and they had dropped the Verizon router for a shiny Linksys 802.11n wireless router. -unrenowned
If the connection is tied to a certain MAC-address, why not to copy the said address to the new router's WAN settings before replacing the old one? </obvious> -NordicPT
If the vz router is MOCA (connected via coax to Optical Terminal) then you would have to use the VZ router. If you're lucky and got an ethernet, you can use any router you use. VZ just uses standard DHCP, so the an ipconfig /release and then connect the new router would work. But if you have FiOS tv then the verizon router would have to be in the network somewhere because it allows for the set top boxes to get guide updates and VOD streaming and PPV ordering. -areatech
also if you hard reset the VZ router, it will default back to WEP, and VZ will not T/S anything beyond WEP -areatech
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36.
Am I weird, I thought this was funny...
Ok, this may not make ANY sense out of context, but it had me laughing for 20 minutes yesterday and another 10 today when I thought about it again.... Female co-worker calls my phone extension (note, she is a friend and we do some harmless "play flirting" all the time, we are both happily married to other people). She calls to ask a question, but starts with a sexy voice "Hi, I need you" I respond with 'What are you wearing?" She comes back with "Nothing. What would you do to me?" I answer "I want to cover you in oil...... and light you on fire.". Honestly, I don't know where it came from but we laughed for a solid 20 minutes...
[By: JoeLugian]
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Yes, that is funny. However, you are still weird. -BarmanVarn
Dora sez, SAYYYYYYYYYYYYY, FUEGO!! -vacuumtubes
"Is it hot in here or...." er, wait... -TheGhost
Possible rejoinder: Do you have matches or should I call Ted from Accounts so you can rub two sticks together? <drifts back to the Pr0n sites> -ChildofCthulhu
so, do you have a burning sensation? -McSmiley
The roof the Roof is on fire. -neuman1812
You say "Weird" like it's a bad thing... -udoshan
*snerk*! -Seamus
"Come on, Baby, and light my Fire!" -TieDyedDinosaur
ZOMG! She's a troll? What? Why else would you set her on fire? Just remember kids, if you're on fire, you're supposed to "RUN,SCREAM,AND FLAIL" -RA
Crispy critter fetish? -lineswine
WOW! Best pick up line EVER! -Biosynthetic
.. I kept telling them "The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire!" all they did was yell about letting it burn. I yelled "Get down party people, get down!" but they just kept dancing even harder. The loss of life was terrible. -Darkridr
"Zed's dead" /butch -AngrySup
I fell into a burning ring of fire /johnny cash -computerdoc
Not ever a good idea to whistle Burning Ring Of Fire while in a toilet stall. Ex-boss was weeks living that one down. -AussieFoot
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37.
It never happens while I am here..
Many of you might have found that it is true: Nothing fails while you are on site, only after you leave for the day. Yesterday one one of those days. We have a generator to supply power to my COMM room and Server room in case of a power failure. Last week, during a preventive maintenance visit from the generator vendor, it was noticed that the circuit board inside the transfer switch was going bad. Worse case: If power went out, genny never would notice and strat itself up. New board was order and scheduled to be installed today or tomorrow. Yesterday at around 3pm, I notice power seems to be winking on and off. I can't see the rest of my building, just my office. I figure it's the storm outside and if it DOES go out, I can simply power the genny up manually and switch to it myself. Happens 3 times in 2 hours. I ask around, no one reports power winking out. Hmm, must be just my office and the generator circuit. Go outside, the generator is running, but we have utility power. OK, transfer switch is going bonkers. I have power so I call the vendor who asks if I want a call at 5:30pm. Nope, I've got power, see you first thing tomorrow. Yea..... 11:30pm I get a call from Sprint. My MPLS is down. I jump on my home PC and confirm, can't get to my mail server. crap! Head the 12 miles to my office. Not much traffic at 11:30pm. ;) Get here, generator is running, transfer switch says it's on generator power (even thought I have utility) and both my COMM and server rooms are dark. I move the transfer switch manually back to Utility and BOOM! I've got power again. Throw the transfer switch back to manual operation (so this won't happen again) and power all my servers back up. Now, (8:35am) generator tech is on site and checking out the situation. New circuit board still hasn't arrived so I'm still screwed for automatic operation. I hope if the power DOES actually go out, I'm here to flip my genny on. :)
[By: JoeLugian]
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So does Genny get dinner and a movie before you manually flip her? -ShujinTribble
Is the dialup number 867-5309? -Tekkie
Funny, guys. : ) the generator tech just left. Looks like I am dead in the water for now. Apparently the voltage regulator board in the generator bit the dust, which is why although it was running, I wasn't getting any power for the generator. New boards ordered, who knows when they will arrive... :( -JoeLugian
"I tried shoving a wiener into the warp-drive, but it dinna do a bit 'o good. By the way, would you have a wee bit of mustard on the bridge?" -Biosynthetic
O.O Bio, you rock! Was that from the Unofficial Star Trek Album, perchance? -Seamus
867-5309 is actually a number we own. Unfortunately, you can't call it cuz we don't have enough interns to keep the mailbox emptied :( -Spyder19
Just an old comedy bit called Star Drek. Courtesy of Dr. Demento. -Biosynthetic
"There's Klingons on the Starboard bow, scrape 'em off, Jim!" </ Star Trekkin' - The Firm> -lineswine
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38.
But it was from Wanda!
Got this one just a few minutes ago. Remote user calls me up explaining that they have a window on their screen that's all of a sudden scanning for viruses and spyware and finding over 2000 items! I use our remote control software to take a look and, sure enough, it's that AntivirusXP 2008 crap. Long story short, I go through and get rid of it while the user asks how it got on their laptop in the first place. I said, well, you probably clicked on an ad or something on a website you visited..... user then says to me "The only thing I did was click on a link in an e-mail my friend Wanda sent to me. Something about her kids. Never did get it to open. : Uh huh. I ask, where is said e-mail now? "In my deleted items." says the user. I log into their web mail and find the e-mail. Yup, it's from Wanda, all right. No last name and the subject is "Angelina Jolie give birth to triplets". I tell this to the user, they are shocked: "It's not from Wanda Smith?" No, I say. "Well, I guess I'd better look at who it's from a little closer next time, I was going so fast that I thought it was from my friend." I wish this didn't happen so frigging often....
[By: JoeLugian]
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We've been getting a LOT of this Antivirus XP at our store. At least YOUR customer was wise enough to realize that "sumpthin' aint right". The rest of my customers let it go on until it roots itself in the system, making it harder to eliminate. -udoshan
"A starfish called Wanda" <good name for a tech remake, ain't it?> -TheGhost
I found the new 2009 version today, there's a whole family of the damn things. xpantivirus, xpantiviruspro, antivirusxp (add 2008 or 2009 to the end of any of them) -Spyder19
Yeah, that mal-app is a real nuisance. of course, it does mean more paid work >:) -Enzedder
Some of these get rooted so deeply that it can take more than an hour to get rid of. At that point, we just nuke-n-pave... -unrenowned
I've been running into the variant called VistaAntiVirus 2008/2009...wonder how much more farked up it is? Of the ones I've seen, they've also had Vundo and Smitfraud. Spybot readings read like a who's who of malware. -RamenMcTavish
I wanda where his brain is ? -CSurfer
I just wanted to watch Angelina Jolie giving birth to triplets, that's all...
-Mushroom
Yeah I've gotten a couple of the antivirus 2009 calls here recently. Techno can generally hear me spout many colorful words when I do. -Phylok
I just ran into my first case of the antivirus 2009, anyone have instructions on how to get rid of it without ffr? User's OS disk is cracked so ffr is not an option and backups are about 18 months old. -jwinc7
The last three adware infections I dealt with were of this ilk. Kill it with fire... grr. Anyway: I've had good luck with tracking it down via Process Explorer (the Suspend feature is your friend, it prevents the "buddy system" processes from spotting the death of their mates and respawning!), using Malwarebytes' scanner/cleaner to get the bulk of it, then a bit more cleaning in Safe Mode (checking for EXEs in Windows and System32 all sharing a recent creation date, and any other suspicious bits alongside, for instance) followed by another Malwarebytes pass at the end to get the loose bits. So far I'm 3 for 3, and that's entirely via remote control. (Kaseya ROCKS. I love my "Reboot To Safe Mode With Agent & Networking Enabled" script.) -GreyDuck
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39.
It's that time of year again!
July 25th, 2008 is Sysadmin Appreciation Day! mark your calendars and remind everyone you work with! http://www.sysadminday.com/
[By: JoeLugian]
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Hey that is also my Day of Birth -LowLevelFormat
Forwarded to $CFO, with a note that gifts aren't necessary, but I'll accept a gold plaque. *bfeg* -RiffRaff
I know what I'm getting this year, and that is the same thing I got in the past two years and that was an increased workload. This time it appears to be permanent. -cecil36
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40.
I can't be any clearer...
Got a call at 8:05am from one of my "one man show" sites. (Warehouse with one guy who just delivers product out of that warehouse). Seems that he attempted to change his Windows XP password and mistyped it, now he can't log in. No problem, start to walk him through logging in as 'administrator' , gave him the password (that I would change later). Can't get in. "Windows cannot log you on". Hmm, let's try again. "Please type 'administrator' in the Username field and 'xxxxxxx' in the password field" "Now what?" "Click OK" I says. Nope, same thing. HMMMMMM. OK, again, username is a-d-m-i-n-i-s-t-r-a-t-o-r, password is x-x-x-x-x-X-x. Still nothing. I give up at 8:30am. I call back at 11:00am to try again, same thing happens, 10 failed attempts. I tell him I'm going to find an IT guy in the area to come "fix" his corrupt password. I call the warehouse next door (they are in a partnership with us) and ask one of the ladies to go over there when the driver leaves for lunch and try the password. BOOM! First try. have her start the remote control software and I'm in!. Thank her profusely and then reset the driver's password. I mean how freaking hard is it to type a sequence of letters and numbers that I am explicitly reading off to you?? 1.5 hours of my life wasted on this! UGH!
[By: JoeLugian]
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<da> capslock on and numlock off? </da> -compbrat
Reset the password to fucknugget and see if he can spell it correctly. If he can, then he is one.... -vacuumtubes
I spent 20 min. on a Saturday trying to get one of our contractors to type in a VERY simple password. She failed every time, I finally gave up and told her to call in when she had someone there to help her. How hard is it to type 'Password1'? -Starfury
Passwordnumberone? -TieDyedDinosaur
had an acct long ago- reset pw to 12345, no BS, and they COULDN'T do it. -HappyCrappy
I had to go attend a user onsite when they spontaneously one day forgot how to spell their username... which was the same as their surname. -Geminii
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41.
What day is it?
For those of you with GMail accounts. Log in and check your Inbox. There is a new feature from GMail allowing you to send e-mail whenever you want it to arrive! It's called GMail Custom time! It's cool... :)
[By: JoeLugian]
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This has to be an April fools joke -THETECHFROMHELL
I thought Exchange always had a "deferred sending" option, so that you could "compose now, send later". Or did I dream that? -Diptera
TTFH - Check the title of this post. ;) -JoeLugian
Exchange has had that forever, yes, as have most email programs... but my suspicion is that the GMail one will allow you to send messages to yourself in the past. <grin> (Note: I do not have, and will not have, a GMail account. I dislike the idea of being served ads with my email. For a number of reasons.) -chazz
Of course you realize that there will be people calling GMail.com support saying that it didn't work properly... -unrenowned
I saw that this morning and particularly liked it. I also liked the "Virgle" (Virgin Atlantic + Google Adventure of a Lifetime) they did. Oh, and Chazz... there are ads? With Firefox + AdBlockPlus, I don't even see them. -virtualchoirboy
I liked last years.......plumbing based internet..... -GoToHellKitty
I thought that the new Gmail feature is supposed to allow you to send the e-mail vefore you've written it... <hi-ho, hi-ho, to the LARTShelter I go> -kraftwerk
I sent a link to the Gmail gag to one of my coworkers. Her first reaction? "That was a joke?" Seems her best friend did a quick read and missed all the clues -- including what day it is and what site it was. I'll be enjoying this one for a long time. Anyone get Rickrolled today? -Robster2001
VCB: It's not the ads as such that I object to, actually; I can ignore them as well as any ad blocker. What I primarily object to is (1) them reading my mail to find ads that they feel aer context-appropriate, and (2) them hanging onto my mail as long as they want to even after I've deleted it, for whatever damn purpose they want. Every corporate email system has terms and conditions; I don't agree with the T&C, I don't use the email. -chazz
What? No one found this one? It's even better: http://www.google.com.au/intl/en/gday/index.html -redevil34
Explanation here ( http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/342281/ ) with a screen cap link listed... HAVE FUN! -ShujinTribble
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42.
Attempt at hacking my server at home..
Everyone, I need a little advice and/or some help. Tonight, just a few minutes ago I noticed the HDD light on my server was just flashing like mad. Knowing I have nothing running, I logged into the console and took a look. Not seeing anything in the system monitor, I fired up the network Monitor and captured packets for about 30 seconds. What I found pissed me off: Someone at IP address 74.86.23.18 was trying to brute force their way into my FTP server! Trying User : Administrator and a dictionary password attack. I have the logs to prove it too. Now, how do I deal with them? Any suggestions or ideas on how to figure out who or where they are would be appreciated. Thanks.
[By: JoeLugian]
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Should mention that I stopped both HTTP and FTP servers on the machine and the attack stopped. -JoeLugian
maybe divasvideo.com was looking for somewhere to host their videos.... -madonnac
I had the exact same issue when I had my FTP, despite the only (readonly) account on the entire server having its username and password publicly available. -linuxmatt
Here's what I got from a quick search: 74.86.23.18 Dallas, TX 75207 LAT32.7825 LON-96.8207. ISP is Softlayer. Of course same trace puts me 50 miles away in another city. If you want, you can send the logfile to abuse@softlayer.com but I Verizon Business never replied to my report, even though I did request a short response regarding if any action has been taken. -linuxmatt
http://www.bash.org/?202477 -ShujinTribble
Shujin, I was thinking in the lines of goatse, but since this is their first offense... -TheGhost
the world is full of asshats. Our FTP server is bruteforced the same way about every other week. Asshat usually tries dictionary attack on the account "Administrator", despite the FTP server identifying itself as Linux... If I'm feeling like a web Nazi, I contact the abuse address of the source IP (Spamcop is good for that) and send a log extract with a time and date stamp. Otherwise I just let it go. They won't get in that way... and if by some odd chance they do manage to get in, I'm watching them. One upload and pow! the account goes away. -chazz
Air tickets to Dallas ~$300.00, Mosberg $260.00 http://www.joessportinggoods.us/670.html, the look on the fishies face when you show up on their doorstep, priceless. -Stryker One
I am confused by the link to Joe's Sporting Goods. -LazyLemming
Sorry, borked link, here's the corrected link: http://www.joessportinggoods.us/670.html -Stryker One
Get them a lot, and tbh not worth the effort to do anything against them. If I'm in the mood I lock my server for a minute or so. But usualy I let them bash their heads against the front door. -HrO
OK, So the consensus I am getting is to not really worry about it. My administrator password is strong, so I'm not worried about the dictionary attack, just the constant hammering on my server. I'll probably just forward the log to abuse@theirisp.com just so I felt like I did something. Thank everyone! -JoeLugian
Joe, I don't know if this is a Linux box or not, but if it is, you may want to look at getting DenyHosts installed and configured to watch for failed FTP connections. http://denyhosts.sourceforge.net/ -SalParadise
When I was running a small ISP, I would track down the abuse email address and send a message, including a request for an acknowledgement within 24 hours. If no reply, I would track down the sales, admin, support, and other addresses and become get pushy. For smaller ISPs, I found contacting THEIR service provider often got results. -CyBear
Stryker One: Benelli is better :P JoeLugian: LART the turds!!! They know what they're doing and they know what they're doing is wrong, so I'd say let fly with all available barrels. -fdiskcuresall
Actually, I found something to stop this fairly dead on a Win2k server. http://main.vizimetrics.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=40&Itemid=35 -TheCyberwolfe
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43.
I did it!
I finally did it. Today, I took and passed my final (7th) exam for my MCSE! I am now (I guess unoficially until my transcript updates) a Windows 2003 MCSE!... GO ahead and make jokes, but this makes me more marketable AND will allow my boss to give me a nice raise. In the imortal words of James Brown. : HEY! I FEEL GOOD!! daa na naa na naa na naaa..
[By: JoeLugian]
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Congrats!!!! -THETECHFROMHELL
so, who ya gonna call? -McSmiley
Ghostbusters! -unrenowned
Congrats on passing your 7th test! -UnderLord
Congrats indeed!
-Grue
Okay, here goes: WOW! Seven tests and now I can consult you on Microsoft Solitaire games! (Say, does the red eight really go on the black nine? Or Must you Consult Someone Else?) (Okay, just remember -- you asked for it. Oh, and congratulations. Use it wisely.) -Captain Trips
My Crap Smells Excellent. -Stryker One
'grats! -SpitefulTech
Congrats! Good job! -Seamyst
Congrats.. and good luck with that. -ShujinTribble
As one still studying to finish the hardest parts and advance from MCSA, mucho conga-rats!! (And just HOW difficult are the last three?) -MadJack
Congratulations and welcome to the ranks of the other Microsoft Certified Solitaire Experts! (yes, I are one too) -ecoli
So now the next step in MCSE in Win Server 2008, since it's just been released. I swear M$oft does it to keep us hampsters in the wheel of certification goin' round and round *sigh* -macbeth
PS Joe - congrats too - it must have seemed never ending -macbeth
Great! Now when do you have to take the next refresher course to keep your cert up to date? Okay, okay, yes, I'm jealous. I never had the drive to complete even one exam. Good for you! -CyBear
so I beat solitare and now all the cards a flying everywhere. What do i Do!?!?! -neuman1812
Grats! -silvermoon
Congratulations, and welcome to the ranks of the highly talented and ubersexy class of techs with those oh-so-sought-after letters: MCSE. Don't listen to the jealousy of the naysayers and their claims of Solitaire and MineSweeper. They're all haters! HATERS, I say! On behalf of the brotherhood of the MCSE, I welcome you! (No, seriously, congrats. I have mine, it's not easy if done right, and I hope it helps you in your career) -Grayhawk
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44.
Heading to Indianapolis!
Attention Riff and VT: I'll be heading up to Indianapolis on March 25th or 25th and spending the entire week there. My company just purchased a business there and I get ti go up and install our server and get the sites ready fro business. I wouldn't mind getting together with you guys and any other TSC members who are in the area. Anyone feel like meeting up for a beer or 6?
[By: JoeLugian]
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Um, that should be 24th or 25th.... damn fat fingers.. -JoeLugian
Was about to comment on not giving much choice in there, but I thought to hit 'refresh' before remarking... -evolvedstarfish
sure. as long as I can have cheap, bottle-cap wine. -figglywig
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45.
5 down, 2 to go!
I passed my 5th MCSE test today! 70-293. Just have 2 more to go! 70-297 and 70-298. Larger salary, here I come!
[By: JoeLugian]
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whooo hooo! -Chipsterian
Congratulations! -Gunpe
so what do I do when I get 2 sevens diagonally next to each other? /question for the minesweeper champion solitaire expert MCSE j/k Grats man. -drachen
Congrats! Good luck on the other two tests. Wow! We will have yet another "Micro$oft certified solitaire expert" in our midst. That cert may get your foot in the door but it ain't no guarantee of a higher salary. Still, congrats! -ecoli
Actually, Ecoli, I was promised a big raise once I had my cert... to the tune of about $10K more per year. Coupled with my 5 years experience here, I'm doin' pretty darned well..... -JoeLugian
...The MCSe is more of a guarantee that I keep my job. We're getting large enough that if the company had to hire someone to replace me, they'd have to find someone with similar experience and a Cert. I've been doing this job for the past 5 years (and quote well, I might add). My boss thought it was a good thing for me to have. Only makes me more marketable. I'll admit that there are many "paper" MCSE's out there but I can assure you I ain't one of them! -JoeLugian
Congrats and good luck... their not that easy to pass, at least not for me anyway... and not cheap either lol... -TechnoTherapist
Thanks, Techno. No, they are not easy to pass. I'm lucky to have gotten this far.. :) -JoeLugian
Mucho conga-rats! I still have yet to take those three, how difficult was this one? -MadJack
I passed the MCSE tests for NT4. Resulted in More Computer Experienced Expected (MCSE) commentts during job interviews. I hope you fare better than I did. Catch 22. You need the job to get the experience, you need the experience to get the job. I gave up and now am a Mac tech. -crazymactech
Not to cause controversy but its always been my policy to never employ Microsoft Certified people. In my experience large training houses pump out endless minimal english speaking starfish who learned the exams by rote and have no bloody clue. I know its not all MS Certified's but its not worth sorting through them to find the good ones. -Maltgha
Congratulations, glad to see you don;t spend all your days in bars drinking with other techies ;-). Any improvement in those Floridian drivers these days? -K1W1
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46.
This time I'm the idiot Nextel 1 Me 0
Long story short: was having an issue getting e-mail to go to a Blackberry. I re-configured the web client and, through a few different Nextel/Sprint techs confirmed that I had it set up correctly. But I was still getting an e-mail bounce back that delivery to the Blackberry was undeliverable. I was asked over and over again if I had e-mail forwarding on. I denied it.... then it dawned on me: I DID have a special contact set up in Active Directory that contained the user's blackberry e-mail address (which was now gone). Forwarding to an address that didn't exist, yea, that would cause a bounce-back alright! Deleted the contact and all is right with the world. Thanks goes out to Nick and Jerry at Sprint/Nextel for all of their help and patience. Take care of that cough, Jerry! - Tony
[By: JoeLugian]
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It's all in the plumbing.... -vacuumtubes
If it makes you feel any better, I spent most of yesterday trying to get my boss's Crackberry to link to our SBS server. He even shelled out the $500 for the fancy software, and I *still* had trouble... Never occurred to me that the bloody Crackberry network was bollixed up. -Divinar
Yeah, there was a BB outage on RIM's side the other day. Affected all North American carriers. -missourimule
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47.
It must be the server's fault..
I get this all the time and it pisses me off to no end. Had a saleshole call yesterday asking if our "Internet server was down". Mind you, this guy is in the field and connects to the internet via a wireless internet card or his home broadband connection. After 10 minutes on the phone with him, I finally drag out of him that he can't seem to send e-mail, Outlook complains about not being able to find the server. Long and the short of it, his wireless connection was down... but it's our "Internet Server" that's not working... I FUCKING HATE IT when these fucktards try and diagnose the problem themselves. and jump to the goddamn conclusion that 'Oh, I can't do such and such, the server must be down". AARRGH!
[By: JoeLugian]
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It could be worse. You could be dealing with someone who doesn't know their own WEP key. -Silphion
yeah. but there's a magic reset button on the back of the router that makes all of that go away. had to do that for a luser yesterday or the day before. have to wonder if its really my problem when they cant remember the wep key or didnt think to ask for it when the router was set up... i know when i set up routers for people, i use something simple, like 1a2b3c etc... -r3dn3x0r
Actually, "it IS ALWAYS the network's fault." That's our server group's mantra / cop out. The network group really likes that, too! <- dripping sarcasm. /> -TubPorsche
OTIS!!! -kraftwerk
Saleshole. BWAHAAHAAHAAA!!!! -PTSTech
Or the Network Corollary: User has streaming live vid for desktop, listens to Internet radio, downloads mp3s constantly, and calls hourly to complain that "The Network is Slow". -Foyle
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48.
UK TSCers, I need your help..
Sorry, I would have put this in the forums, but I need this right away and this is the best place to get noticed. We have a gentleman retiring fro our company at the end of this year. (He is from England) Our party comittee decided it would be a great idea to play "God Save The Queen" at the party. I am in need of an MP3 of the UK national Anthem both instrumental and vocal if possible. the ones I found online are instrumental only and only a max of 50 seconds long (maybe that how long it's supposed to be, not sure). If anyone has a MP3 version of this, please e-mail it to tonym2@tampabay.rr.com. Thanks!
[By: JoeLugian]
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I have half a mind to mail you the Queen's version of that song... <ggggg> -NordicPT
Do you need one with vocals? If not you can always get instrumental versions of ‘My Country Tis of Thee’, which we in the US put to the music of ‘God Save the Queen(King)’. -MSimmons777
i could send you the sex pistols version, or the billy childish version. -supportrobot
heheh, I actually have the Sex Pistols and Queen's versions on MP3. I do have the instrumental "classic" version as well (it's about 45 seconds long). I'm looking for the classic vocal version. Any and all help is appreciated! -JoeLugian
check your mailbox dude, singin and music :) -Armakuni
If he's Scottish, then you DEFINITELY don't want the vocal version. -Fuji
It's not me :P it sounds like exactly the version he's looking for. -Armakuni
Thanks, Armakuni! That is EXACTLY what I needed!! Much appreciated! -JoeLugian
Anytime dude ;) -Armakuni
If he is from England then he is not Scottish. Also even if he is Scottish no-one ever sings the fourth verse (with the line about beating up the rebellious Scots) - only one or two are performed. But you may want to double check anyway :P -Xoke
I know that the fourth verse isn't sung any more, but many of the Scottish people that I know dislike the song. And when an American says that someone is from England, it could be anywhere in Britain. -Fuji
...or Australia, or New Zealand or possibly South Africa. -Fuji
In this case, Fuji, he is from England, a few miles outside of London. Was born and lived the first 20 years of his life there before he moved to New York for his career. Now lives here in Florida. he still goes back to England twice a year for a week or so each time to visit his mother. -JoeLugian
Thanks a lot, Fuji! I now have Groundskeeper Willie singing God Save the Queen (ACCCCH!) playing through my head. -Darkridr
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49.
I am SUCH a proud parent right now..
Similar stories from Katinahat have always made me smile. I hoped and wished for this day to come, and it has! Yesterday, my wife takes her laptop and our two kids: Nicky, age 7 and Jessica age 4 over to a friends house. My wife was using her laptop to help the friend with a small project. Wife was done with her laptop so she turned it off. My son decided he wanted to play a game. Turns on the laptop and is presented with the XP login screen. He tries to log in once, it fails. Tries again and GETS IN!. My wife asks him "How did you figure it out?" My son tells her "Well, you usually use one of us kids names as your password. I tried "jessie" and when that didn't work, I tried my own and that worked." ..... So basically, my son "hacked" my wife's laptop password. I am SO proud! :)
[By: JoeLugian]
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"...how come there are pictures of Uncle Bob without clothes on?" :-D -Mushroom
Next comes a story that tells us of your son leaving a message in the "adult folder" that reads "All is Known" -Grayhawk
Uh Joe, you do realize you're going to have to come up with unique passwords for your own machine now? :-D -Mushroom
No worries, my password is complex (letters, caps, lowercase, numbers and symbols). He'll have to work VERY hard to get to MY pr0n. :) -JoeLugian
We all know that Joe's password is: 12345 -Starfury
12345?! Thats the password an idiot would have on their luggage! -virusjtg
DAMMIT! <changes password to 54321> HA! guess it now! -JoeLugian
Hahaha. You could try changing your password to ****** -kennz
Hahaha. You could try changing your password to ****** -kennz
It's not as cute when it's the Manager's teenage kids, they get jobs here, and use her password to get access to her Admin privileges. I think she was smart enough after that to stop using her little angels' names as passwords after that, but to be honest, I don't know for sure. -veaudaux
Sooo, you're proud to be married to a starfish? ;-P -HrO
...the force is strong in this one.... -duckhead
A kid I was at school with, whose mother was the librarian, was convinced her password really way ***** because that was what came up on the screen... he ended up getting straight A's and going to Oxford... -Xoke
i wonder if it's a bad thing if I use stuff from shows my kid watches as passwords? m0u5k@D03r, anyone? (i don't use that one, anywhere, and now i can't) -illiterate
Yay! Congrats! We really need to start a junior TSC site for TSC offspring... -katinahat
Junior TSC? Oh he77, can you imagine the parental stories they would write about? OMG! -CyBear
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50.
Central FLorida Meetup!
Attention all Central Florida techs! TechieSidhe had a great idea for a meetup! Please see the post in the Break Room! http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?t=7650 I'm talking to YOU! Ecoli, DocFL, Clockkingfl, Objekt404, LowLevelFormat, fdoskcuresall, and Elfling! Anyone NOT in Florida going to be IN Florida any time soon? If so, let us know and maybe we can schedule the meetup to coincide with your visit! We did it a couple of years ago with K1W1 when she and her hubby were here from NZ!
[By: JoeLugian]
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I will be in Orlando for three days this weekend, but otherwise, am just LARTing users around here for the holidays.. -TechieSidhe
See my post in the thread on when me and a coworker will be in FL -crazymactech
I heartily commend this meet-up to anyone considering going. You'll have fun with a great bunch of people. -K1W1
<3 posted in forum. -Elfling
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51.
YIPPEE for ME!!
...I just passed my 2nd MCSE test! 70-270 and 70-290 (Workstation and server) are in the bag! Just 5 more to go until I get that sweet SWEET raise! Studying fro 70-291 (network infrastructure) now... Wish me luck!
[By: JoeLugian]
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Yay for you! Good job passing & good luck with the rest of 'em! -Tekkie
Congrats on the good work. Keep at it! -Darkridr
CERT-WHORE!</Smirk> -ShujinTribble
Best of luck! Hopefully someday my other half will be in your shoes, chugging along toward that thing. -silvermoon
Congratulations :) -Elfling
Woot! Congrats, and good luck on the network stuff. For the 7 layer OSI stack, remember: All People Seem To Need Data Processing (Application, Presentation, Session, Transport, Network, Data Link, Physical). It's backward, from 7 to 1, but what the hey. -CTYankee
MCSE - Microsoft Certified Shutdown Engineer. Why? Because any time you make a change to the system, you have to reboot! (At least it's better than the REAL name... Minefield Champion and Solitaire Expert) -VoiceOfSanity
This is what's waiting for you: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LHY8NKj3RKs -Dr Jerkyl
Good luck! -Evan
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52.
Definition of Irony:
Looking in my Spam folder in Outlook this morning, what do I find? An e-mail from MessageLabs classified as SPAM by the spam filter we use, GFI Mail Essentials. I just think that funny...:)
[By: JoeLugian]
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Irony is what happens after wrinkley. -MeatStick
I'm confused...Does MessageLabs produce GFI Mail Essentials or something? I've never used/ heard of either. -kman52000
GFI is a competitor of MessageLabs... :) I use GFI mail essentials as our enterprise spam filter. I did lok at message Labs a while ago but couldn't even get their free 30 day demo to work. I figured if I can't get their demo to work, how good can their service actually be? -JoeLugian
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53.
Can somebody explain this to me?
I'm sorry this doesn't belong here, but I've been looking at this pic for a while and can't figure out what it means. Pic should be SFW but rest of site may not be. http://www.eatliver.com/i.php?n=2170
[By: JoeLugian]
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yeah ????? -SGTARKyTEK
Yeah what? ;) -JoeLugian
cluess myself -SGTARKyTEK
Oh. :) -JoeLugian
'Scuze me, I had to clean the vomit off my keyboard. For those who don't know, that's Pedobear hugging on Chiyo-chan from Azumanga Daioh. Which can be quite jarring to those of us who hold AD near and dear to our hearts. -ralphp1024
This is all I could (wasted time to) find: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan -Jeckler
I lied, here's another: http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Pedobear -Jeckler
paedobear approves :) AD is...well, just very odd -Tarantulus
Thanks for the explanation. Now *I* can go vomit... ;) -JoeLugian
Excuse me as i vomit then kill a bear -compbrat
Does Wayne Brady have to smack a bear? -Bobsentme
On that same site, there's http://www.eatliver.com/i.php?n=2178 -- and I can tell you for a fact that there were people there. I recognize that, and remember thinking similar thoughts as I walked past him. That was at the San Diego Comic Con last year -- and contrary to how it seems, there were 125,000 people there! (They don't expect more than that this year -- that's the point where the fire marshal shuts down the registration desks and the San Diego Convention Center has hit max capacity! (BTW, anyone here I might run into at this year's con? I'll definitely be there, a result of my wife being on the committee!) -Captain Trips
We can't afford to go, but your wife may know one of my teammates who's also on the committee. He's the one who lurks but rarely posts. -MadJack
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54.
LOVE this!
http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2052373070710.gif
[By: JoeLugian]
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Very Funny and oh so appropriate. SalParadise was just let go due to funding issues. Now they are looking at outsourcing the DNS and WEB server maintenance which Sal very ably handled. I would absolutely love it if we could somehow get him back in here. Present management would crap their pants! -TubPorsche
That would be great! Fire me due to lack of funds then hire me back at triple my old rate! ;) -JoeLugian
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55.
I want one!!!!
I wonder if it comes with the circular saws that extend from the fromt bumper? http://www.thatimagesite.com/image/4571 This pic SFW, other on the site may not be!
[By: JoeLugian]
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"Here he comes, here comes Tech Racer, he's a daemon on nets..." -SalParadise
The ad on the left is NSFW -Madrigorne
Ok, just so you all know.... YES you CAN order one! There is a guy in Calif that strips down a 'Vette (That's COR-vette, not CHEV-ette) body panels, reworks the rims / seats, etc-etc... but you can NOT use it for monetary gains... meaning entering it in contests... in an exhibition, sure. And yes, the letters on the horn DO work! (...as a horn.) -ShujinTribble
Want one... . -pixel
There's a talk radio host here in Dallas (Russ Martin) that has one and TWO old school BatMobiles.... I cry -Zedd
I want some of those ads! -War1ock
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56.
What the HELL???
Ok, so I power up my laptop just about 10 minutes ago. I have Brighthouse Cable internet (read Road Runner) and I use a Linksys wrt54g wireless router to connect with my laptop wirelessly. Fire up Firefox and try to go to my homepage (www.google.com) get a "server not found" error. Odd I think. check and yep, I can PING my terminal server at work, but can't resolve any host names. No biggie, Internet's up, DNS problem. I release and renew the IP on the wireless router, power cycle the modem, all to no avail. For the record: DHCP gives my router a 65.32.5.74 and .75 IP address for DNS servers. I call tech support, tell dude on the phone that I can ping but not browse. He leads me into the config of my wirelss card and has me enter static DNS of 65.32.1.65 and .70. Bingo! I can browse. Then he says. OK, you're working, c-ya! I'm like WHOA there bud... Brighthouse DHCP is doleing out 65.32.5.74 and 75 for DNS servers, if these are WRONG and don't work anymore, don't you think you guys MIGHT want to change them in your DHCP setup. He's like "No, they should work." I said, I'm with you, but they DON'T. What shiould I do. Brain trust says :" Leave the IP's I gave you set as static in your adapter config"!!! WHAT THE HELL??? Your shit is broken, here's a patch, go ahead and configure all your machines MANUALLY with these DNS servers... No, just NO. I can't take this for an answer. More to come.....
[By: JoeLugian]
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OK, update to this story: CAlled back, got a different rep. Explained the situation. He was rather suprised that I was getting the 5.74.and 5.75 IP address for teh DNS servers as, apparently, they are "way down the list and seldom used" and the 1.65 and 1.70 addresses were the primary ones that I SHOULD be getting via DHCP...He promised to escalate this to the techs who administer DHCP for my area. I was pleased that my issue hadn't fallen on deaf ears. In the meantime, I configured my router with the 1.65 and 1.70 IP addresses as static DNS. : ) (hence, I am able to post) : ) -JoeLugian
hehe yea.. that does happen. older dns systems still being broadcast. normally given you have a router - you'd get the DNS servers to set statically there and the ones you were getting earlier woudl be taken out behind the scenes. -Harm
'Taken out behind the scenes'? "Okay, youse DNS IPs.. you been bad. And you know whats we do to bad IPs on dis subnet?" -Jay911
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57.
DST - Mixed Feelings
Anyone else having to deal with the Daylight Savings Time change? Between updating all XP and 2000pro clients, 2000 Servers and 2003 servers and, on top of that, Exchange 2003 I'm begining to HATE DST! On the other hand, I ike the fact that it stays light a little longer at night. But I'm not sure it's worth all the Microsoft crap. ;)
[By: JoeLugian]
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DAYLIGHT SAVINGS SHOULD BURN IN H3LL!!!oneonoeneonee11!!!1111!!!!eleventy one. -Olorin
Working and re-working appointments in Exchange and individual Outlook clients, I have to say I'm not exactly in love with it right now... -PTSTech
Yeah, my team is getting ready to tar-and-feather every politician who voted for this. Talk about a headache of epic proportions... -Grayhawk
I wasn't happy about updating all my servers and computers, but at least I'm done. It was a real waste of time. They should pick one time and stick with it. -Gunpe
My company's in the middle of dealing with it, for ourselves and for our customers. It's no fun. -NightSteel
yeah, I'm going to hate having to get up an hour "earlier". <Runs for the LART shelter> -Bynar
Try adding Lotus notes into the mix and you got a great big headache -Caboose447
Well, between our servers, clients, and network devices, ours got done over a weekend...except for one, which will rename nameless *cough*exchange*cough*. -EtherRabbit
IMO< Daylight Savings Time is an anachronistic holdover from more primitive times, and should be done away with entirely. -OgdenTechGuy
I agree with Ogden! -Wolfie0827
Except now it is embedded in every damn thing. Even coffee makers! -TieDyedDinosaur
GREENWICH! - MEAN! - TIME! M-F'er!!! Do you UNDERSTAND it?!?! (And yet AGAIN, the US of A holds onto an outdated system, just like the Imperial Measurement System.) -ShujinTribble
I DREAD next Monday. 1500 computers plus servers plus applications plus blackberrys (spit) that we support are all going to explode. I know they are. It's going to be a total nightmare. -Starfury
Think about 8.50 hours of installing DST updates to crackberries, treos, and other assorted PDAs. And trying to explain to customers what happened after the update fries the device and flushes all thier (not backed up) data. -HackerMagnet
I just figured that a MySQL server wasn't dealing with it properly. That's a headache. Our unix guys, who deal with hundreds of servers and a lot of java apps - that's a paddl - I mean, headache. I still have to patch my semi-personal servers, too... -namor
Err - Shujin? You MAY want to pay some closer attention. GMT goes DST (well, BST - British Summer Time) on 25 March 2007. I think you mean UTC - which does NOT do DST. It's the same as GMT during the non-BST winter. -ralphp1024
only 1500 computers, Starfury? How about 33000 employees (so figure at least that many computers when you include labs, training rooms etc.) across 6 time zones, 20+ Domino servers, at least 10 Exchange servers, $deity only knows how many crackberries - and that's just for the email & calendaring issues.
-purplelinguist
crap was that today?
-drachen
ok, no march 11th
-drachen
ralph - I stand Corrected. Thanks -ShujinTribble
I should really tell the story of my recent troubles at the library, 6 *public* internet stations, no updates since at least late December. -evolvedstarfish
I made my move off frontline at the right time, it seems. The "My computer didn't change!" "Did you run the update?" "DuuUUuUUH, what update?" calls I will mostly avoid, unless they roll over. -56Kdaytrader
Could be worse - you could be taking calls from storefish: "Duhhh... how come my clocks on my cum-pooters are one hour ahead of all my clocks at home?" -TechnoCat
I hate daylight savings time. I had to deal with it when I visit relatives in Northern Arizona. Family members wake up very early. But back in Phoenix I have no worries. -HopiWarrior
i don;t know WHY THE HELL they wanted to change it.. seemed to work JUST FINE for umpteen years but NOOOO. we have to legislater piddly little changes to piss off just about everyone rather then doing something that FRIKKIN WELL MATTERS! .. i don;t like losing an hour of sleep... specially earlier then its been for MY ENTIER LIFE! and for that matter, my parents and grandparents lives. -Harm
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59.
What a shame..
Just read on CNN that Anna Nichole Smith was found dead in her Hard rock Hotel room in Hollywood Florida...
[By: JoeLugian]
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So young, only 39. -OgdenTechGuy
...and the autopsy report ought to be a wild one. I expect to be on The Smoking Gun in due time. Between her see-saw weight and her drug dependencies, it'll be instructive to see what finally killed her. -Robster2001
i feel a strong urge to download of some of her work and enjoy it in private. Purely out of respect you understand. -Blackneto
O.0 -Z0nker
I would be looking at the "baby daddy". Since her son died that little girl will be the heir to mommas multi-millions. And of course as her custodial parent there will be ongoing support arranged and a trust fund. -Darkridr
Expect this to take up a massive amount of attention from every media outlet. The coverage and in-depth analysis this will get will be obscene. -ActingUpAgain
Will the funeral require the fire-brigade and a haz-mat team? -Wraith556
Geez... And I just got done poking fun at her on another post. Now I feel bad (well, semi-bad anyway, lol). -LinuXtreme
I;m not up on pop culture. Is she one of those people who is famous for being famous, like Paris Hilton? -concept14
My money's on her late husband's family. She can't lay claim to his estate now <g> -MadJack
MJ - Her lawyer(s)'s will still be working the case on behalf of HER estate for her offspring's benefit (so they say - and the exorbitant lawyer's fees). -MSimmons777
concept14 - kinda.. only she was a playboy playmate - gold digger extrordinair ( ir at 26? i think marrying an 89 yer old billionair.. he died a year later.. she ws supposed to have all his cash- again big todo with that.. got fat.. lost wieght. married her layer.. there are some kinds somewere in the timeline and lawsuits, and then a reality TV show.. and now - I GOT $10 on overdose! and another 20 on the reason behind it! -Harm
So, yeah, famous for being famous...and for her big, fake hooties. She didn't have a sex tape that I've heard of, but she did "star" in several shitty "d"-movies. -missourimule
Good Morning America's 'Top Story' this morning was ANS's death. Iran, terrorists, Chavez be damned. Let's get an interview with her mother! -JTSBrown
MS7: I know, I just couldn't resist... -MadJack
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60.
Anyone else find this interesting?
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap061212.html
[By: JoeLugian]
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Oh, that was me. I had to stop on the way home and take a leak. Sorry.... :-) -vacuumtubes
The guy developing the film sneezed!!!!! -TubPorsche
Swamp gas. Its obviously swamp gas. -Pawn
Could be mercury.. could be some common gas in liquid form. could be a million things. Looks, in the most exciting terms possible, like freaking water, which could mean freaking life on freaking mars! -illiterate
Mars landscape was poping a zit. -burrkiss
Isn't this how War of the Worlds started? (H.G. Wells, homey, not Tom Cruise.) -beerman
I think the developer was busy looking at Jenna Jameson pics at the same time and got a little close to his work. -areatech
everyone assumes aliens have to have water...what if there's aliens that drink murcury, and breath hydrogen? also they haven't taken a picture there in 6 years, WTF? also......OH!!!Something shiny. -drachen
Give them a break, drachen! It's a damn big planet and you never know exactly where something interesting is going to happen. I'm impressed they caught it! -Parilla
The rover sprang a leak. -Stryker One
it indicates the martians will be calling me soon to powercycle the probe. fucking hell. -SpitefulTech
Drachen -- it's because water is "the universal solvent" -- that is, almost everything (certainly everything needed for "life as we know it") can dissolve in it. Therefore, it is the ultimate basic building block of life. Mercury, on the other hand, would not serve anywhere near as well! (Titan has possibilities, though, as liquid methane can serve the same function as water in an organic system.) -Captain Trips
Sorry Joe, no it doesn't. A bunch of nerdlingers, cracking "big ones" over space yonnies. Next.. -TheMacOne
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61.
Lucky me!!
This past Saturday night, we had our company Christmas party at the local Country Club that the owner of our company is a member of. One nice thing (of which there are many) that our company does at the Christmas party is to purchase several fairly expensive ($50 - $200) items and raffle them off to the employees. (One raffle ticket is given to each eligible employee). This year, one of the gifts was a $250 gift card to Best Buy and was won by our CFO. But it was determined that the CFO is, in fact, part of the "Exec Team" and was ineligible. Therefore, he gracoiusly returned the gift card and another drawing was performed this morning. Guess who won.....go ahead, guess........ Ok, I'll tell you. IT WAS ME! Woo HOO!!! </heads for Best Buy after work to purchase his new Canon digital camera>
[By: JoeLugian]
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$250? Digital camera? WIMP! Spend the extra and get a 30D! -ShujinTribble
30D? -JoeLugian
36DD? -burrkiss
THAT'S what I'm talking about, Burkiss.. BOOBIES!!!! -JoeLugian
Ahh, I just Googled "30D" and saw waht ST was talking about. A CANON EOS 30D SLR Digital camera... Probably a little more than I want to spend. I have my eye on the SD6300 (Elph) -JoeLugian
Canon 30D? I make it a policy never to spend more than ONE paycheck on any one item. (House and Car *payments* included) -Divinar
Sounds better than the raffles done by one of my other employees. Management kept winning the raffles so often it became an unwritten rule that if management didn't get at least two of the three prizes, the raffle was redrawn until the "right" outcome was achieved. Management then wondered why NONE of the rank-and-file took part any more. -Wraith556
Wraith - would that be because 2/3 of the company was management? -Treker
Sounds like my company christmas party, except we have the white elephant gift exchange, all provided by the owners. I ended up taking a piggy bank (with $100 in it) from the HR director. -boxcar
This is the digital SLR for me http://nikonimaging.com/global/products/digitalcamera/slr/d2xs/index.htm
Unfortunately, this is what it costs:
http://www.bananaboatcamera.com/nikond2xs-continental.html -Stryker One
Dude... I got me a 30D 'cause I was / am doing a fair amount of photography.... the pics from Halloween.... All digi. It was worth it, I think. -ShujinTribble
To get her in-home business jewelry pictures taken by yours truly, my wife bought me a Nikon D50 with two lenses, 28 to 80 zoom and 80 to 300 zoom. Now I just need better tripod so I can hold it still enough to take natural light pictures without the flash and high apertures (more tha f11). D50 is a nice beginners digital SLR and cost about 1/2 of a paycheck (700 USD). -MSimmons777
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62.
HELP!
Not a story, but I just posted a request for help in the forums (Help me). Just trying to get some more eyes to take a look at it as I am in desperate need of help. Thanks!
[By: JoeLugian]
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I replied your thread. I hope you get it resolved without too much trouble. :) -rokitt
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63.
Only when I am not there...
Why is it that when I am in office nothing major happens but the ONE time I take a day off, crap hits the fan??? One of our sites in Alabama had their phone system crap out. THis never happens..EVER! Luckily, I was able to get in via Terminal services, dameware into the phone server and restart the services to get them working again. ...ONLY when I am not there!
[By: JoeLugian]
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Murphy's law dude, what can go wrong, will, at the worst time and when you aren't around to take advantage of the downtime -halitech
Be happy! If everything went smoothly when you were gone they might think they could get along without you. -edventure
You are apparently a single point of failure. Nice position to be in. Demand a huge raise or else. -gemachte
Though if you're not on call, the inverse is very nice. Me, I walk into the building and everything works. I walk out of the building, things go to hell, but that's the next shifts' problem. When I come back, it's all fixed <BFEG> -AngrySup
AngrySup - Must be nice! I went to Mexico this summer. My boss had the hotel phone number, just in case. Luckily he didn't call. If he had, I would have been "under the influence". -DuckyFuzz
My accountant was asked by a nurse for tax advice while he was in the recovery room and flying on the remnants of the anaesthetic. Apparently he was able to give good tax dadvice despite being looped. I suspect that many members of TSC would be able to give decent tech advice while rather massively under the influence... -chazz
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64.
Stuff For Give away.....
I know this belongs in the Break Room, but I wanted to get the word to more people....I have a couple of old PC's in my possession that work, I just need to make room on my shelves fro other stuff. Plus, the wife wants then out. :) Item #1: A P233 with 64MB of ram. Item #2 A P200 with 32MB of ram. Both work great, I just have no room for them. If anyone wants them, just let me know. All you need to do is pay shipping costs....
[By: JoeLugian]
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Joe, I have a friend whose computer just up and died, and would be quite grateful to receive the computer. I'm going to call him tonight to see if he'll be able to make use of any of these. If you still have the P233 available, please give me about a day to see if it's enough for whatever he needs it for. -Mewtwo
still have both. let me know.. -JoeLugian
Post on my whiteboard when you're giving away Alienware ALX systems. -linuxmatt
People still USE P1s? Damn, I've got about a half dozen in my garage if anyone wants them. -Stryker One
P1 are good for two things - doorstops and recycling. The other 864 things I can't list for legal reasons. :) -TheMacOne
<Pedantic>You know, even a P1 system with a CLI-Only install can work as a pretty good webserver.</Pedantic> -ShujinTribble
I actually have access to about 20 P2-233s that I'm thinking of making into a CLI Beowulf cluster just for S&G. But you know... I can't give away anything slower than about 350 to charity these days... -chazz
Don’t get mad at me but I have given away or thrown away anything under a PIII 933. I didn’t think any one would be interested. -Gunpe
I have a friend who picks up computers at the side of the road and refurbishes them. He says he passes over anything less than a P3. -Wraith556
I've got a P2 266 laptop that I use as an alarm clock - it plays MP3s and an alarm WAV. I also use it for streaming radio. I've got another p1 233 that I'm trying to setup as a firewall/router/VPN server. -Kid
Kid: one of the P233s that is still in service is a firewall / router. http://www.smoothwall.org for details. VPN is trickier, I've found that you typically need ballpark 300MHz to handle IPSec encryption. -chazz
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65.
If we could only do this...
...to our customers: http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2006183231005.gif
[By: JoeLugian]
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See also: http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=61155 -NordicPT
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66.
Now I know!!!
...where Grue got his name...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domo-kun (look halfway down under "Domo-kun and other names")
[By: JoeLugian]
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Laughing my ass off now, thanks! I'd never seen the "Uncyclopedia" entry on that before.... -Grue
And knowing is half the battle! -LoTech
Follow this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grue_%28monster%29 for a better explaination. Originally mentioned in Jack Vance's Dying Earth series, it became popular in early computer games, starting with Zork. -SalParadise
That Domo-Kun character was the feature in a compfused movie I think... I'll have to go find it. -EagleEye
OH YEAH! The Domo-Kun video with the clip of Steve Balmer's "Developers Developers Developers"... -EagleEye
Okay! Here they are, I found them! This first video is hilarious on its own, and is used to set the stage for the second one... http://www.ntk.net/media/dancemonkeyboy.mpg ... Okay, now that you're pissing your pants laughing at Steve Balmer... check THIS one out! http://omgwtf.superlime.com/domopers.wmv
-EagleEye
Oops, gotta watch this one too, before the second link above... http://www.ntk.net/media/developers.mpg -EagleEye
sounds about like a howard dean speach.yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggg -SGTARKyTEK
Should you want to see what the Mac fraternity did with those 2 clips of Ballmer doing "the Monkeyboy Dance" & the ultra-sweaty "Delelopers, Developers, developers, developers" clip, all backed with digital Droos' music, check it out here:- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tX4N2oUa2Q -lineswine
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70.
I HATE it when that happens....
....our salesreps are in the office today for a regional sales meeting. My duty today is to gather their laptops and install the new version of our custom software on them and fix whatever other problems they might be having. Most of them I am just installing windows updates or getting updated virus definitions. One of these laptops had the dreaded WINFIXER crap on it. The salesman was semi-complaining that he was getting pop-ups while online and browsing in Internet Explorer. A quick look in the Program Files folder yeilded what I had feared most: the Winfixer2006 folder. It was empty, but a quick scan with HiJackThis showed a BHO pointing to vtstq.dll in the windows\system32 folder - a known component to the winfixer spyware. I tried deleting this BHO with HiJackThis and then manually but no luck. I then did a Google search and found this fix: http://64.233.179.104/search?q=cache:6hB33vf6op0J:pcpitstop.ibforums.com/lofiversion/index.php/t103777.html+vtstq.dll&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1 I downloaded the utility that it says it needs to kill the winfixer files and ran them. I THOUGHT I was following the directions exactly, but I typo'd in the very first prompt. I didn't realize what I had done until I had rebooted: Instead of deleting the offending file, it deleted EVERY FILE IN THE C:\WINDOWS folder!(leavng the directories in tact). Oh crap, now what?? Luckily, a repair installation of Windows XP did the trick. It took me all of 1.5 hours but the laptop was back like it had never been screwed up and the winfixer file was gone. I was cursing myself up and down for not doublechecking what I was typing and hoping to deity that the repair would work. Luckily it did. Just a heads up: if you need to remove Winfixer and run across this solution, BE CAREFUL!
[By: JoeLugian]
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How about ewido? Or any other spyware/malware removers. Any of them take care of it? -MaskedMarauder
Did you get the 'most recently visited' set of URL's from the laptop first (for possible blackmail!)? -TieDyedDinosaur
the ONLY spyware scanner I've used that can succesfully remove winfixer is spyware doctor (after running hijackthis that is). virtually any other scanner will find it, but they all fail in removing it. unfortunately you have to buy spyware doctor, unless you're no stranger to the torrent communities. -LiQUidICicle
www.siri.urz.fr.free/fix/smitfraudfix_en.php -Z0nker
Document, Document, leave out that YOU screwed up, Document. Bill the time to the drone's department.
-Divinar
I had AVG(free) fix some stuff the other day. I hadnt used it much before...I think i may be a believer now. -MrJay67
Killbox is a nice tool for getting rid of unkillable files...the delete on reboot option is pretty nice. -CTYankee
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71.
Just want to give a shout out...
...to another TSC member who took time out of her day off to help me. TechMama, you are the best! I cannot tell you how much I appreciated your help on the phone Friday morning. I now have a much better understanding of how my firewall works! I hope I have the chance one day to return the favor!
[By: JoeLugian]
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can we have the story behind the firewall issue? -LowLevelFormat
Surely, LLF: I have a Cisco PIX firewall that I needed help reconfiguring. A new app that I installed needed certain ports opened up. Since I have very limited experience configuring this firewall, I posted a request for help in the forums. TechMama (and a few others) were very helpfull with suggestions. TechMama went out of her way on her day off to call me personally and try to walk me through the configuration. :) -JoeLugian
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73.
Judy patch is back!
..and she's pissed of! :) http://www.angelfire.com/rings/judy_patch/
[By: JoeLugian]
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
OMG! At least now I'm at a new job and can show my fellow techs the glory that is the stupidity of Judy Patch! -Grayhawk
Check the picture at the bottom of the "HDD disk drive"! rofl -DarkNation
That site smells more strongly of bullstuff than it did originally. Everyone see the picture of RAM and the pic of HDD?
-illiterate
Where is the page that shows donations? I wanted to donate so that I could get my name on the wall of shame. -Gmork
Naaaaaah sorry, 'Judy' has overplayed her hand this time, that last bit over-sells the joke. I smell parody. -Digital Dogcow
"she" is a vailable on MSN chat supposedly, but this is most definately a joke -NOFXfan
I never went away, it's just that some hackers defaced my sight by hacking into my main frame and getting my hard drives Ip Address, and it's taken me until now to recover it. I updated it, too - I have new pictures of a R.A.M. unit and a HDD disk drive. It's nice to see that you all missed me and my sight :) I hope I can get some feedback from you on things I can add to the sight. Thanks again for caring :) :) -JudyPatch
Oh, feel free to email me or chat using MSN - I'm JudyPatch@hotmail.com -JudyPatch
Hi, Judy. You, madam, are a moron. Please take the gaspipe, suck hard, breathe deep, and go away. That is all... -PTSTech
Wow I feel foolish HDD's are USB thumb drives! Bad A+ certification! How you've lied to me! *runs of crying* -Darkon
Forgive my cluelessness - but I must not have been here long enough to get the joke? Would someone be so kind as to fill me in (the link is being blocked on my end by our in-house filter)? -Sidewinder
Who knew that a hard drive has an IP address!!!! A CPU is a MOTHERBOARD?!!?!?! LOL um Judy, you really need to go back to school before you post a website with crazy off the wall information that a 5 year old probably could make up. -haddytech
I didn't know that every hard drive has it's own IP address. So does my computer need 6 ip addresses then? and do i need a mainframe to connect them all together? -BunnieTechBabe
btw, its "site" NOT "sight" lol.. unless you are getting surgery on your eyes... -haddytech
(0_0)====>just fucking speechless....I heard the stories, and I always told myself..."naw, no one is that stupid. not even starfish." I was wrong. I'll be in the LART shelter crying now. -3p0ch
Chewie, that cable is a link used for burning downloaded music illegally!!! I won't tell you how to do anything illegal, but you should cut that cable NOW!! -JudyPatch
I always believed it was a hoax, in fact i was genuinly sad when it was haxxord. now i can show all my frends how a central programming unit sends out busses.. -putahtek
I have to go along with DD on the parody. -sassicatz
No parody. Ive spoken to Judy on MSN. She is for real!! She help me figure out with wire to cut on my nic card to cdrom link. Now i cant play my music cd while playing solitare , but atleast the autorities wont be knocking on my door anytime soon. -chewbaka
and I'm sad to say, she appears to be a fellow Canadian. -DeusExMachina
Canadian? Nah must be a quebecer ;) -Darkon
wow... just..... wow -Gonz
-Gonzo
I'll chime in for parody, too. The only way you'd pull up an image of a CF card and call it RAM is if you're trying to. -namor
I think that instead of donating cash, we should donate used computer parts. I have an IBM 6X86 cpu, some memory from a SPARC workstation and a CDC 9877 'cake box' hard drive to offer. -TieDyedDinosaur
Sorry, Namor, but I swear that just yesterday, my Mother sent me an email asking me if she should buy this "RAM" for her computer. It was a 512mb compact flash card. :) -TechMama
TechMama are you confessing that your Mom *is* Judy Patch? -Digital Dogcow
All weapons systems online
All batteries...FIRE AT WILL
Ground troops...prepare for attack.
When you hit the ground leave nothing but scorched earth. I want NOTHING to be left when we are done here.
This type of evil MUST BE DESTROYED -Crashville
Oh Judy my love. I've missed you so much. I've not been able to perform without your valuable insight. Marry me? -Criptonite
Criptonite, I'm glad my websight has been able to help you. Thanks for the offer, but ever since the pictures my ex took showed up on the internet, I'm real hesitant to trust a man again. Maybe we could start a bit slower than with a marriage proposal? -JudyPatch
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74.
Another Mac and PC parody.
This is great!
http://www.ministry-of-fun.com/comic/comic135.htm
[By: JoeLugian]
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<Sees DD, Crazymactech, and others run towards Joelugian wearing what appear to be explosives strapped to their bodies and yelling "Jihad!", and decides not to get involved.> -TheGhost
Forwards to 6 mac lovers, and highlights "plunty of free applications" and "without the smug attitude" in box 4. -haddytech
And another one here: http://www.pvponline.com/archive.php3?archive=20060516 -virtualchoirboy
Hmm? not so much a half truth as a quarter one!. Can you get reasonable free-ware analogues of iPhoto, iWeb, iMovie HD, iDVD and GarageBand on the web on the PC side?, you probably can. Will they all be from the same company and offer seamless integration and interoperability with each-other, AND give you High Def video editing capability ??? Like BALLS they will. Smugness intact I think!. Oh and the other great 'lie' ? - sorry current effective 'viruses' on OSX that DONT require interaction from the user AND an administrater password?? ZERO. Just what is it that has the Mac detractors all so riled at the moment? I can't think of anything, can you? </sarcasm>. Please keep this Starfishesque bollocks OFF TSC, I expect better from industry professionals. Take it over to ZDNET where the uninformed zealots will lap it up. -Digital Dogcow
DD - I THINK it's the fact that the MacBookPro, even if you pay 300USD for an XP license, is STILL the most cost effective high-end XP laptop out there with anything remotely resembling a pronouncable company name. I ask those that wish to argue to configure a matching PClone laptop ... and show me how much "less" it is. From a major vendor, one larger or as large as Apple is, please - no "Foo Kyu" brand laptops will be considered for the comparision. "But I run Linux!" OK. So we drop the price of the Mac setup by 300USD, since it comes with a BSD-derived OS. Can't get 300 off a Whinderz laptop for no-Microsoft-OS, can you? -ralphp1024
DD - I can't run AutoCAD on any Mac. Since that one piece of software provides me with the money for computers, house, car, and food for myself, wife, & son, it trumps a bunch of software I don't use (I told you I don't do any photoshop, sound, or video crap) And as someone who reverts XP to "classic" - I *have* used OS X, I didn't like it. I've had more problems fixing my mothers iBook alone than the 5 XP laptops I support. -Divinar
Divinar : "I can't run AutoCAD on any Mac" FYI - no longer the case! http://www.architosh.com/news/2006-04/2006a0406_bootcamp.html I'm not saying Macs are 'better' than PCs or vice versa. I aknowlwdge BOTH have their role, and environments they're best suited to. If a 'PC' solution best suits your needs, fine with me, got no problem with that whatsoever. It's the baseless FUD and sneering that gets up my nose (on BOTH sides of the fence). I've seen this inane shite going on for near on a quarter century now ever since the kidde squabbles of "My CBM64 is better than your Sinclair Spectrum", its beyond old, and now that Macs run on intel chips, its splitting hairs to an absurd degree. -Digital Dogcow
I'm a die hard IBM compatible fan, however I do like some of the qualities in MAC's. The only reason I don't own onw, is because the cost is not justifiable, and the lack of software compatibility. -Alistir
Alistir - Boot Camp renders "lack of software compatibility" a completely dead issue. -Digital Dogcow
DD - So, once I install XP on the Mac, what use is OSX? To me, none. So why buy the more expensive proprietary hardware in the first place? I've been suffering, um, fixing mac's since the Apple ][ days, I just don't 'get' them. -Divinar
And it's an APPLE ad they are parodying - APPLE has as much FUD as any of the parodies. For the record - I've had *one* virus activate on me - when I pulled it out of quarentine to examine it. Fdisk, re-image, back to Quake by lunch. -Divinar
"So, once I install XP on the Mac, what use is OSX? To me, none. So why buy the more expensive proprietary hardware in the first place?" - I don't recall proposing that you should, I've already said If a 'PC' solution best suits your needs, fine. You however are not representative of the entire computer market, there will be many potential buyers who Apple now offer the best of both worlds, The gaming, CAD, 3D and general 'office' strengths of the Wintel world and the 'creative' and design strengths of the Mac world. "APPLE has as much FUD as any of the parodies" You must have missed me saying "on BOTH sides of the fence". -Digital Dogcow
Welcome home DD -Packet
I love Macs, to be honest. And I'm not being paid (right at this moment) to say so. Most Pixar films were done on Macs (Duh! guess who founded Pixar), and yet you could give a Mac to the grandma who likes to click on e-mails that say, "I love you!" with no fear. Starfishness with a Mac tends to be a lot less damaging than starfishness with a PC. -56Kdaytrader
In the main I agree with DD. Cut the mac-bashing shite already, grow up, get a life. I've got both macs and pcs at home and at work, they do their respective jobs quite nicely thanx. Get over it. I like macs, they're more cool and user-friendly (IMO) and few worries about security and virii, on the other hand PC's are are more commonly used, and there are more jobs out there supporting them. Oh yeah and last summer when I was going to buy another PC, I found I could get way more computer for the same bux by buying a mac mini and using my existing peripherals. -TechnoCat
I love computers. I don't care what hardware they have or what software they run, I just like finding out what they can do when I start messing with them. There are things I love about Apple, and things I hate... same with Microsoft. Hell, there are days I still wish for my old Tandy 1000HX. -linkv
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75.
DO I look like I work here??
This type of story has been posted here many times, usually it is due to the poster being dressed similiarly to the employees of the particualr store they are in. Today I go into Staples looking for a couple of things. I start walking toward the aisle that has the pens and pencils, at the end of the aisle stands an older man. Now is a good time to tell you that I am dressed in a pair of blue jeans, a white golf/polo shirt and brown Doc martin shoes. This fossil walks up to me and says....'Do you work here?" What the hell? Do I look like I am wearing a damned red shirt and black pants???
[By: JoeLugian]
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maybe you shouldn't be mumbling about your red swingline stapler -NOFXfan
You could always explain that you are a roaming cashier! -TieDyedDinosaur
I have the same problem at Home Depot .. what? Am I wearing an Orange apron... NO. -Mysty
Tell them that you don't work "precisely" there, that you are a freelance shoplifter. Then offer them to get them whatever they need. -TheGhost
*fists on hips, cape blowing in the breeze* "I am Freelance Employee! I go wherever I am needed to free techs from the bounds of starfish and their like, by spreading my Technical Knowledge far and wide, and to boldly lead techs from the bonds of repetitive explanation in this earthly realm!" (Why yes, that is a lovely jacket. For me? Why, thank you so very much! Gee, the sleeves look awfully long, and what are all those buckles on it? Yes, it seems a little big, but... hey, why are you pulling my arms in back of me? *mmmph, nnmmmphh* Hey, I can't move like this... Guys?...) -Voz
Sure pops, I'm the wireless cashier and I'll help with what ever you need.
<insert smart ass tone> -THETECHFROMHELL
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78.
Geek Test
I know it doesn't go here, but I just took this test and scored a 0!! I know I am a geek WTF does this quiz score me at a zero?? http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11977271/site/newsweek/?pg=2&#anc_nwk_060323_geekpage
[By: JoeLugian]
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Ok, I took it again and totally fudged the answers to point to an extremely nerdy verdict and it still scored me a zero!! Methinks it be broken... -JoeLugian
im thinking there is a problem with there scoring...I got a 0 as well. -xtc46
Well, I lost points because I don't have a camera phone, or a console, but I can't believe I scored a 0. Something is broken somewhere.... -Divinar
It's busted. I have some arguments with the questions anyhow. Sending a pic from your cellphone is cool, not geeky. Sending it as an ascii drawing that you did in vi, thats geeky :P -Mysty
I agree Mysty. And so many people have satellite radio and DVRs now. Not geeky, really, is it? -FixitWench
Ditto, Got a zero too -McSmiley
Count me in the 0 camp. It doesn't take into account the fact that my job barely puts food on the table, so I can't afford a camera phone (besides, I have a decent digital camera, why would I want a tiny low res camera phone?), I can't afford satellite radio, and I can't justify paying $50-$60 CDN for WOW and then add $10/mo just to play it. -Bynar
And it rated me 0 as well. This must be broken. -chazz
Definitely busted. 4 functioning computers, know how to fix my network, Star Trek... does not a zero make! -Gaah
0 here too...WTF?! -Dreamstalker
I scored 46. I don't have a camera phone. :( -Tekkie
0 here... WTF? My resume is very simple...Professional Geek... I have a test LAB at home, a linux cluster, VPN connections to 10 offices open most of the time, a stack of compiler CDs taller than myself, a huge supply of hardware that I refuse to throw out because you never know when you might need an ISA video or sound card, or 16MB of EDO RAM... I've actually stripped and rebuilt a modem (because it gave out on a holiday,and I couldn't find a shop that was open...). How the Hell can I score 0? -garwain
It doesn't work in FF, only IE. -Tekkie
Hmm ... I got a "0" also. Then again, a) I don't listen to satellite radio ANYWHERE, but instead to my MP3 collection when driving, b) Why use a low-rez cameraphone? What's wrong with my 9MP digital camera? c) And who doesn't print directions out before a trip, I'd like to know ... -ralphp1024
I took it the day it came out and got a 71%. I am a geek, not a nerd. -VWFtech
So far, all but one person scored a 0, me included. Was it just me, or did they beat the desert island thing to death a just a little? -AmazingKreskin
I couldn't get it to work in IE or FF. Got a 0 in both -- now, I know I'm not a total geek, but I have 4 machines, I can fix my own network, have satellite, camera phone and DVR. Can't be 0. -FixitWench
Can't be a true test...not if most of us scored zeros. Plus, I listen to satellite radio in both the office and the car -I just listened to the White Sox beat the Tigers and they've added something new; they now show who's at bat and the play in addition to the score, inning & outs on the radio face. My GOD, I love this thing... -Avalon68
How many techs does it take to diagnose a broken web-page? (LART shelter, AHOY!) -AngrySup
29 Here, just missed the cut. Weird. I thought I'd be higher. The thing is when I get home the last thing I want to look at is a PC. -thejerkstore
FOrgot to add... I took the test last week. -thejerkstore
yeah I got 0 too...cameraphone, dont have one but i have a camera and take pics often -SGTARKyTEK
I think the idiots at M$N are all "zeroes". They obviously have no clue what a geek is - or how to design an online quiz!. I play WoW, use my Blackberry constantly, have 4 networked computers (mac and PC) and know how to fix networks AND have Voip and use my cellphone to send/receive pics, yet I score a zero? Riiiiight... -TechnoCat
Note the website: it's at MSncbs. Do I need to say more? And besides, the test is very American based, assumen you have a TV and a car, thinks I'm not in a bar at 1 am and surpringly tdoesn't work well on Firefox. I rest my case! And, btw, got zero (0) points, too... -NordicPT
NO NO NO, you're all missing it. It's not that you scored a zero. It's that you ARE a zero. *hehehehehe* Lart Shelter, Beam ME UP!!! -BunnieTechBabe
I got a Zero too, not a very good test. -Gunpe
0 here. "Stuck in the last century." Having the latest & greatest toys is only one factor in geekiness, Billy boy... -MadJack
Zero here also. asks about your home network like you will only have one OS if you have more then one computer. -Blue3c
HOW did I get 0?! i took D&D with me to the island- along with BSG and LoTR!? WTF! -Harm
Wow, zero too... maybe cuz I'm using Firefox? :) -EagleEye
Oh yeah, I also have a problem with rating people as "geeky" based on their cell phone technology and habits, as well as the console game system they play. Console games are for NON-geeks that don't know how to work a computer! And sending pics over your cell phone doesn't make you a geek... it makes you a pop culture asshat. :) -EagleEye
0 in both IE and FF, definately farked. -flapjackboy
So... non-IE users will always see a zero on this geek test... How many computer geeks around the world use IE?! And did they both get non-zero answers? -Gaah
Zero as well -Zoomer
It didn;t have a question for, "Did you need to turn on JavaScript in Mozilla to take this test?" That shoulda been a sign right there.... -ShujinTribble
....and for the record, I scored a 0 as well. -ShujinTribble
Yep. Zero here... I think this is more a "Hip Gadget Starfish" Survey rather than Geek... -duckhead
Is this one of those jokes, like how to keep a geek busy? -FixitWench
Another 0 here. Screw them! They're not looking for geeks, they're looking for (and here's a surprise) consumerism run amok... -PTSTech
I dunno, I thought iut was pretty geeky to want any of that trash if you were stranded on a desert island...I mean, without a power-source, it's all useless anyways. And if I were stranded on a deserted island, as a geek I would most want a SATELLITE PHONE so I could get the feth back to civilisation and all my toys. Idiots...though I kinda guess we were too for falling a thinly-disguised consumer survey like this... -GargoyleTS
I also got 0 (ff/Linux), despite being a PDA geek (every phone is a pda (1000mb 3g transfer/month rules), plus other pdas...) -trs998
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79.
Sorry to post this here..
...but I need the exposure. Do any techs here work for Armstrong Cable in Pennsylvania? We have a small office in York, PA that all of a sudden lost connectivity to our Exchange server. It was workign fine last Tuesday at 5;30pm when the guys left and shut down their PC but Forst thing Wednesday morning, Outlook wouldn't connect to the the Exchange server. I know, trying to use Exchange over the internet isn't the best thing to do, but it suits our purposes and works well enough. Internet connectivity is just fine, just can't get Outlook to connect. Sounds like a port 135 issue to me, but every Armstrong rep we talked to (who have been quite helpfull, I might add) doesn't know of any port closings in the last few weeks. As always, any and all help is appreciated.
[By: JoeLugian]
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Sorry, the location is Butler, PA. Not York PA... thanks -JoeLugian
Do you use Mcafee as your AV solution?
the latest DAT file is wreaking havoc on harmless apps across america. it might have deleted something vital.
I understand it is even quarantining M$Office. -mwad
as a matter of fact we do, but we arenot having the issue at other sites who also use mcAfee. -JoeLugian
Update: From the affected site, we CAN telnet to port 25 on the exchange server but NOT port 135. From an unaffected site, we CAN telnet to both port 25 and 135 into the exchange server. Telnetting into Port 135 does nothing but give us a connection (ie, we can't send any commands) but the connection is made. from the affected site, the connection on port 135 is flat refused. I think we may have the reason.... -JoeLugian
Could your firewall be blocking the port? -Blue3c
No real firewall to speak of other than Windows firewall. (I know, I know). Both PC's at the affected site are connected to a Linksys router that is connected to a cable modem. No firewall, but it does have NAT. I know, not the safest way but it is cheap. ;) -JoeLugian
Sounds like port 135 being blocked. I'd find another way. -namor
If you've opened port 135, you're not protected by the Linksys routers. An awful lot of viruses crawl in through that port. Also: do you really want your information sent unencrypted through the public Internet? If this is a publicly-traded company, this sounds like a SOX violation. You should be able to establish a VPN tunnel through the internet to your Exchange server, and ISPs typically don't close port 1723 (the PPTP port) because so much goes through there and it isn't, generally speaking, vulnerable to viruses. And even Microsoft's PPTP, weak as it is, is better than nothing... -chazz
Not a publicly traded copany, Chazz, so I don't think I am breaking any laws here. : ) but I wouldn't mind the VPN thing, I just need to set up the VPN server here in the corporate office and, right now, I'm not real sure how to do that... -JoeLugian
Why are no comments getting e-mailed to me? -JoeLugian
Check the linksys settings. I still say your blocking the port on site. -Blue3c
JoeLugian, you can actually set up a PPTP server on the Exchange server -- it comes standard with Windows Server -- and while that will not be optimal, being a violation of the one server, one function rule, it should allow you to circumvent the port block that you currently have. -chazz
As far as comments getting mailed to you, I do see the site saying it has sent to tonym2 at tampabay dot rr dot com. If that is out of date, you can change it in your profile; but also check that the TSC autoresponder is whitelisted in your spam filter. -chazz
Oh -- for pointers on setting up the PPTP server, WB or email me. -chazz
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80.
Oh my god, this guy is screwed!
Found this on Break.com. Video of a professor who addresses his call regarding his stolen laptop. Unbelieveably. The person who stole the laptop is in serious trouble.
http://www.break.com/index/stolenlaptop.html
[By: JoeLugian]
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I saw this in the morning, and is sounds like he is just bullshitting his way to scare the person into brinigng it back -LowLevelFormat
I agree, there is no way he can prove I did any of that...I mean he can't have tracked me.. that is whoever.. that well. -Packet
OLLLDDD story on fark, i believe...prof ended up completely mocked if this is same guy:) -timelady
LOL! That prof is in such deep shit for losing whatever research data he had on the laptop, he needs yo use XtremeToTheMaXX scare tactics to try to get it back. -Gaah
DUH! the first thing I, er, the thief, did was to make an offline image and then did a nuke and pave... -Divinar
...but they're tracking him with the <finger quotes> TRANSPONDER </finger quotes> so the FBI, USSS, DHS, OCS, CIA, NSA, NCIS, CSI, and ISBN can hit him with the giant <finger quotes> LASER </finger quote> unless he pays them <dramatic pause> one hundred bazillion-kajillion-banana-bo-billion dollars!!!</Dr. Evil> -Gaah
Ummmm, wasn't this an episode of 24?? -SFishWrangler
uh.. Uh... Uh... I believe you have my.... (Gay-Double-Finger-Quotes) "LAY-ZHURE!"</Dr. Milton> -ShujinTribble
Chloe I need this sat uplink NOW! </Jack Bauer>
-ProfessorFrink
This guy should have had a swinging lightbulb and a bad cup of coffee on the table...."Where's the Falcon, er Laptop, Joe?" -Psudo
I was buying it, until he added right @ the end about the partial image. Dont cha think that would have been the 1st thing mentioned?.......and I highly doubt that M$ would call wondering why there were 2 copys of XP out there. -burrkiss
Yea. If I had *that much* sensitive data on a laptop, it would be encrypted so well that I would just laugh at anyone stealing it. I also would not let the laptop out of my sight!!!! -Mango
Bah, he is full of shit as far as tracking and redmond. And he is an idiot for having all that secure data on a laptop without backup, and he just caused that data to go bye bye for ever. -Wolfie0827
the thief was never caught http://www.informationweek.com/story/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=170704190 -LiQUidICicle
A professor bullshitting? Unheard of! </sarcasm> Care to comment any of the TSC members who work or have worked in academia (DD, ITNaziChick, etc.?) -lineswine
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82.
A thought...
Ok, Yesterday I posted a couple of stories refering to posts on www.clientcopia.com. I just read the post by HidariMak about the imbecile who could not find the Windows Start button. I just had a thought: what if all the instances that we have dealt with people who seem to be so damn clueless that they have to be told how to breath are, in all actuallity, our employers or reasearch companies trying to see how far they can push Tech Support before we break. Think about it. Could it be that we are being tested by these callers who seem exceptionally clueless?
[By: JoeLugian]
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with the volume of those type of calls we get, I'd say 5% may be tests... and that's pushing it. -wolfprince
I can see the people who "ran" *ahem* the co. I worked for in Ohio doing that. Where I'm at in Texas, with the sheer volume of calls we get (which are NOT recorded or monitored for QA at all), I doubt it. -MattN
its 1984 and they are watching. -Blue3c
can't be... the callers aren't just stupid in the normal sense... it's like they have an inner glow of stupdity... a talent if you will... (you can't fake that) -duckhead
Nah, that would imply that they are TRAINED to act as stupidly as SF do normally! I think it would be impossible to do without having an IQ 'liposuction' performed first. -TieDyedDinosaur
I know my idiots and they are not my bosses(SMALL!!!! town) -drachen
TDD: That would be a 'lobotosuction'. -Gaah
Gaah - Excellent, we have a new tech buzzword! -TieDyedDinosaur
I think it would be fun to be one of the "testers". Not that I'm sadistic or anything. -TechnoCat
Any company that does tactics like that is truely a resume-stain. The managers deserve to be drawn and quartered (after being repeatedly stabbed), and any underling that gets this sort of task does not (or perhaps management believes does not) have enough real work to do. -BayouTech
I know that my audit callers have been quite intelligent, but the issue has been something technical. You just can't simulate the starfish stupidity. -NordicPT
I was tested in that manner, on my first week on the job here. a woman called in, with a thick Indian accent, and refused to give me any personal info, trying to get free support. After I refused to help, she stood up a few cubes over and said, "good job". I wanted to slap her. Never felt the same way about this place since, either. -DrLecter
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83.
Absolutely Amazing
Anyone here read Clientcopia? Some of the stories there sound too incredible to believe. Check out this one: http://www.clientcopia.com/quotes.php?id=3969 and this one: http://www.clientcopia.com/quotes.php?id=3971 I can't believe that these people have no clue how damn stupid they are. How does anyone with that small of a mentality get anywhere in life???
[By: JoeLugian]
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That TV manager is now working for the local public transit organization - and I just got off the phone with him!
-Divinar
"I can't believe that these people have no clue how damn stupid they are." I can. When enough starfish who have difficulty telling front from back, up from down, letters of the alphabet, their own name, or recognizing numbers call in, you lose hope on human intelligence. -HidariMak
Hidari, I have already lost my faith in humanity....:) -JoeLugian
What faith in humanity? (Spoken like a true support tech who lost hers about halfway through the first day of her first tech job.) -TechnoCat
I have faith in humanity, faith that they'll kill themselves off eventually. -Wolfie0827
"Faith in Humanity" plus "Darwin Award Winners" equals "The Law of Averages"! Have faith, and the stupidest people will kill themselves off first. -Voz
The lightning was intended for the manager. The timing was off, though. :) -Antacid
That TV Manager was just a Clueless F*ckwit starfish in disguise, and yet in this a$$ backwards world, they are the ones the live forever, and get top $$$ for being nothing *sigh* -Jax
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84.
Christ! Here's another one..
http://www.clientcopia.com/quotes.php?id=3966 people get dumber and dumber...
[By: JoeLugian]
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But what a LART the guy launches at the suctomer! Gives a competitor's address and impersonates 'Luis' who won't be able to refrain from cussing out both of them in Spanish! -TieDyedDinosaur
Wow...just...people...I need to go kill someone now...ten points for the OP sending the dude to "Luis"... -TranceGemini
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85.
that's it....
Since I can't post EVERY Clientcopia post here, I'll just tell you guys to check out the most recent posts from the last few days on there. Too many to try and repost here. Man, people are stupid....
[By: JoeLugian]
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My basic belief: People are stuipid until proven otherwise. -Starfury
Just joined today to tell everyone about Clientcopia? What, are you a moderator there? -JTSBrown
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86.
Merry Christmas a little late....
I got a call last week from one of my outside salesmen. he has a question about the brand new Dell desktop he just purchsed for his family to replace an aging Compaq. Simple enough question, so I answer it. He then volunteers that his old machine was getting so damn slow that his wife siad "Just go buy an new one and get rid of this old thing!" I asked what he did with the old one. "Oh, I threw it out in the trash." He says. "Threw it out? If it's not alreay gone, could I have it?" I say. 'Sure " says he. "I'l bring it out to you next week." Well, I get back from lunch and sitting in my office is his old Compaq - Pentium 4 2.4Ghz with 512MB of RAM and matching 17" CRT monitor. I fire it up and literally find nothing wrong with it. He was able to delete everything personal from the machine including his profile/user account. So I',m guessing that's where all the slowness was. ;) I called him and thanked him. He now gets free help on his personal machine free of charge (didn't tell him that, but I gotta pay him back somehow. ;)
[By: JoeLugian]
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I *wish* I could afford to throw out "old" stuff like that and buy new....yeesh -FrontSideBus
sweet deal -NOFXfan
You know, my "old" BMW 330 is already 6 months old, I'm going to trow it out. Do you want it? <yes, I'm being sarcastic, you lucky bastard! ;-)> -TheGhost
Sweet deal. Now tell everyone about that printer you "resurrected". You've been in the right place at the right time on more than one occasion. -Bradford
Funny thing: I was jut checking it out and noticed that in then Programs menu, there is an icon to create a recovery CD for this PC. It didn't come with one, just a "System Restore" option on the boot screen. This PC doesn't have a CDRW drive, just a regular old 48X CDROM. How the hell was the owner supposed to MAKE the recovery CD? -JoeLugian
Rule #1 Joe, rule #1. -ThreeBucks
Bradford's right: My boss's Fiance works at an office where their tech support is out of state. Their Lexmark T616 laser printer started showing an error on it's LCD. They called tech support but instead of coming out, they just sent a new printer. They took the old opne and put it in the closet. I get a call asking if I want a laser printer because it's just taking up space. i say sure, why the hell not. Get it home, Google the error and find the fix is as easy as flashing it's bios. I do so and not have a 21 PPM laserprinter on my desk at home. Brand new toner installed and a spare toner in the box. ;) -JoeLugian
*walks over and slaps joe upside the head* bast*rd!!!;0p -starfishmagnet
Karma works in mysterious ways. That's almost equal to my test system at work, damnit... and my 800MHz at home is crying. -namor
I put together a new system for my in law..and I'm going to get their old P-III/500 machine. Just the tower..no kb/mouse/monitor. I'm thinking Linux box. -Starfury
Fury: FWIW, I got FrankenPuter running with a P3 @ 500 Mhz under Mandriva 2005 SpecialEdition.... Not too shabby -ShujinTribble
I didn't get anything that good, but a customer mentioned that he wanted to get rid of his old computer. I asked how much, he told me nothing. My reply: "My car's right over there." He was happy to get space in his car, I got an Athlon 2200+ w/ 512MB DDR, and a 20GB 5400RPM HDD. I slapped in the SATA controller, Raptor, Radeon 9500 Pro, and the Sony DVD burner, and I'm HAPPY! Glad someone else was as fortuitous as I managed to be. -PaseoGuy
Oh, yeah. He also gave me my 4th 17" CRT, the 3rd one that works. YAAAY! -PaseoGuy
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87.
Something fun (NT/OT)
A buddy of mine just ICQ'd me and told me that Everquest decorated the game world for christmas. Snowmen, candycanes, lights, snow, the works. I said it would be cool if you could acquire the skill to build the snowmen. Or even cooler if instead of regular combat, you had SNOWBALL FIGHTS!. got me thinking of this cool shockwave game: www.nny.com/holiday/snowcraft.htm Anyone remember this?
[By: JoeLugian]
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They did the same thing for World of Warcraft - and you could have snowball fights there too. That was fun - if you were in a party questing and you hit a party member while they were casting a spell or performing some kind of action such as sharpening their weapon or applying poison, it would interrupt the action, hehe. -stpatience
Part of the holiday event did include a snowball fight, as well as a nice bag to hold the snowballs in. -NotMyDayJob
EVE-Online joined the Christmas fun this year by giving out snowball launchers and ammo to everyone. When you fire a snowball at another ship, it actually does negative damage! -Gaah
Guild Wars did the same thing. -Harm
City of Heroes/Villians did a similar thing with snowballs, snow creatures and presents that were randomly naughty or nice -RadWaste
they did the same for AO too, they do it every year, you get christmas hats and coats, christmas trees, dancing santa dolls.
-drachen
No snowballs on counter-strike? what? put down the crowbar!!! Dammit augh!!!! -momo
Starmud has Christmas titles, one wizard organizes it, and you apply for a position, I was "Little Cindy Loo Who, isn't she cute in her 'jammies?" -evolvedstarfish
Wonder how we could do that in OGame? Giant comets for snowballs? -RiffRaff
Martial Heroes did the same. The Valley Village tree was decorated and had presents under it. Santa appeared every night to give out buffs that lasted 2 hours. The carol background music got old fast though. -WinterWolf
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88.
Pictures from the Dec 3rd Meetup
Check them out here: http://photobucket.com/albums/b252/JoeLugian/TSC%20Dec%203%202005%20Meetup/
WE had a great time, wish everyone could have been there. The food was great and the stories even better! Let me just say that K1W1 and her hubby are just awesome! Where were you Dangermouse? Clockkingfl? Bradford? JH? KalAshar? Huh? We missed you guys....
[By: JoeLugian]
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erm when link is followed it asks for your password?better off sendin the links to the pics one by one -starfishmagnet
We would need your password in order to see those pics. -Zayda
"starfish" does not work -CSurfer
"********" does not work either :-( -CSurfer
I should have called you. I knew I forgot something. One of the law offices had a little emergency. I'm just getting it finished up now (Sunday night). -clockkingfl
You have a different combination than the one I use for my luggage. -concept14
so who was all there? are we going to get captions with the pics, describing them? -blindtech
It was a pleasure to see everyone again! Hey, Object404, did you have fun chasing salescritters? -TechieSidhe
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90.
She's Here!!!
Just want to let everyone know that our beloved K1W1 called me last night. Her and her hubby arrived safely in Orlando, Florida the other night after their 33 hour flights. They are staying at Disney's Coronado Resort. I'll be picking them up Saturday night for the TSC meetup we are having. Don't worry, we'll take lots of pictures!
[By: JoeLugian]
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Nice! I used to live in Fort Lauderdale, I am going to be in Orlando for New Years!! -LowLevelFormat
good timeing, since the weather is finally decent -objekt404
better take lots of pictures... >:) -snowcrash
Hey, Snowcrash! Where ya been? -JoeLugian
Tell her the weather is absolutely lovely - sunny with a light breeze in Auckland and she is missing it ! -CSurfer
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91.
Central Florida Meetup
I know this really doesn't belog here but I need to get the word out: The Central Florida TSC meetup is getting closer! In just over a week from now on Saturday December 3rd, we'll me getting together at Jungle Jims in Lake Buena Vista near Disney. I just sent an e-mail out to everyone I think will be attending but I am not certain I got everyone. If you didn't get an e-mail from me, please let me know at tonym2@tampabay.rr.com. Thanks and hope to see everyone there!
[By: JoeLugian]
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As long as no one ends up like this guy : http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051125/ap_on_fe_st/holiday_shopping_brawl_3 -Necros
Did his banjo get busted in the scuffle? -lineswine
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92.
Calling all FLorida Techs...
...and those of you who can make it. Here ye Here ye! Let it be known that we are in the process of organizing a TSC meet-up on Saturday December 3rd in the Disney area. Right now, we are looking at meeting at Jungle Jims in the CrossRoads Shopping plaza in Lake Buena Vista (near Downtown Disney) All interested parties please e-mail me at tonym2@tampabay.rr.com and let me know if you can attend and/or if you have a better meeting spot. The Disney area was picked initially because K1W1 (from New Zealand) will be here with her spouse and they are staying in that area.
Looking forward to hearing from you! Tony.
[By: JoeLugian]
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Sweet, I'm in the Orlando area I may see if I can stop by. Jungle Jims is fun, whoever has the biggest appetite should order the Headhunter. 1 1/2 lbs of burger! If you finish it you get a free one your next time. Check it out on the menu here's the site
http://www.jungle-jims.com/ -SirBSOD
Drat... notice is too short to sneak away... but that's OK, I've been to Disney's Orlando twice this year, three would be greedy... (but ESPN The Weekend is coming...) :) -Robster2001
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94.
I'm sorry, but I need a little help fast
I know this should be in the forums, but I need a little guidance and I need it fairly quickly. I am re-mapping a network drive in a login script from one server to another and need to know the best way to Disconnect the old mapping before mapping the new one. I saw one way to do it was "net use G: /del" but then saw another way "net use G: /del >nul 2>nul" I have an idea what the forst ">nul" does (surpresses the error message if there is one) but what does the other "2>nul" do? Ultimately, I want to place this line in the user's login script.bat file to disconnect the G drive from the old server and map it to the new server. Any and all help will be appreciated. Thanks!
[By: JoeLugian]
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">nul 2>nul" - First one redirects stdout (i.e., no "Successful" message, the second one redirects stderr (i.e., no "Fuckup Fairy says FUCKYOU!"). You can get the same result in a batch file from preceeding the command with a "@" which makes the line run silently. IIRC on STDOUT and STDERR, that is. Been a while since I used the advanced PIPE commands. -ralphp1024
Thanks! Much appreciated! -JoeLugian
Just one mapping, or all of them? I favor a NET USE * /D /Y to delete all mappings the client currently has (login batch file, of course), since I have users who will make up their own mappings and then complain when I say that nonstandard network mappings aren't supported, and will require a service call. -CTYankee
Assuming you just want to unmap G: and map it someplace new do: net use g: /delete <enter> net use g: \\whatever\share -snJimboip
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95.
earthlinkout of business???
Apparently, they have pulled every one of their dial up numbers of of their web site.
http://start.earthlink.net/support/ACCESS/search.jsp?type=us&linkid=1001362&area=&prefix=&number=&state=FL&accs_type=Modem
I can't pull up an access number for any state. : )
[By: JoeLugian]
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Nah, they just got smart. They want to be inaccessable to starfish. -vacuumtubes
I was told by a buddy of mine over there that support is being downsized here and offshored to India. Not sure how extensive it will be though. -CelticSkyhawk
Most of their support is already in India. Dial-up support went a year and a half or so ago, and when greenlantern called DSL support a few months ago, that was in India, too. -sassicatz
lol... earthstink... when they could not figure out wtf a problem was they cold transferred thier customers to road runner . Time warner was just as bad tho. Caller goes to time warner, escalated to earthstink support, they scratch balls and send it back to time warner. after a few bounces they just sended it to road runner. who is a completely different company and cant help the earthstink customer. -putahtek
Okay, so Lollypop (their number database) is accessable, BFD. I worked for them for 3 years and haven't any reason to defend them since they gave half their home support the boot in Feb 2003 with ample warning and the other half the boot in Jan 2004 with none. I always wonder WHO those people are they show in the ads -- the Atlanta headquarters which doesn't take tech DU/BB or customer service calls, perhaps? -Mushroom
INaccessable, yeesh -Mushroom
I have earthlink through sprint, so when and if I call for help, I talk to a sprint rep which is american. -areatech
I was talking to a guy here in omaha who works for west corp. He and I were on the earthlink line group. He says now they're down to less then 100 employees. He went in on friday afternoon there and there was less then 40 on the phones. -STJ
Werks fer me, but this is a few days later. -Grue
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96.
Yeaaaaaaa for me!!
I just love it when I finally get what I want!
Our win2k DC/Exchange Server was great 3 years ago when the company was half it's size, now, 3 years later, we are much bigger and this poor little server (P3 1ghz 768MB RAM) just can't keep up any more.
Got approval yesterday and placed the order for not one but 3 new Dell PowerEdge 2850 servers!:
New Domain Controller/Exchange 2003 Server (Enterprise)
Dual Xeon 3.0 Ghz
4Gb of RAM
2x 36GB 10k RPM HDD mirrored for OS
4x 300GB 10k RPM HDD in raid 5 for data Storage
New DC's for other 2 sites:
Dual Xeon 3.0Ghz
2GB of RAM
5x 300GB 10K RPM HDD in raid 5 for OS and Data Storage
All MS licensing for 200 Employees
Dedicated 1.5Ton A/C unit for my office/server room
25Kw Generator to power dedicated outlets and lights in my office and COM room.
All in all I got to spend aroung $80K. Now I am set! I can't wait for my toys to arrive!!
Woooo Hooo!!!
[By: JoeLugian]
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... and then you woke up, right? -ralphp1024
.. And then they told you that you will be getting a pay cut! -cjo
.....then you realized you had a "preemptive counterstrike" and your crotch was sticky. -burrkiss
really! This happened! I swear! I got the order confirmations today! Burkiss, you must be psychic. I did almost "download" in my pants when I got the go-ahead...:) -JoeLugian
...on second thought, that would have been an "upload" to my pants...sorry. ;) -JoeLugian
Congrats!! -TechMama
... and then they told you that the conversion can't be done during normal business hours, they expect to continue business as usual through the conversion, and no paid overtime. -Wolph
Joe is writing Tech Pron again. Now I'm all hot and bothered. -CyBear
Tech pron writer. Could I have another career on my hands? Hmmmm..... -JoeLugian
It'd be tech pron if it were SATA drives. Course, they probably are, but he didn't mention that. So, it's tech soft-pron at best. -FreakyFerret
"Come here, Joe." said the nubile Director of IT. "I have something to show you." Joe walks into her office, she was sitting on her desk with her short skirt rididng up so you could see her ipod mini strapped to her inner thigh in her garter belt. "I just heard from the owner.." she continued "Funding for the new servers, A/C unit and Generator just got approved. Go ahead an order everything." "Whee!" said Joe as he creamed his pants and went off to order the kit... -JoeLugian
Congrates on the new Dell stuff, those are sweet systems. I am in Dell server support, here is a page we are now pushing and may save you many headachs and lost data. http://support.dell.com/support/topics/global.aspx/support/kb/en/document?dn=1092263&l=en&langid=1&c=us&cs=&s=gen -Wolffarmer
FF, would that make Joe a SATA-masochist? or if it got cut off, a unix? -ecoli
Wolffarmer, I wonder if I have talked to you before? -JoeLugian
Ecoli, well where do you think the terms of master and slave for drives came from? >:) -FreakyFerret
Wolf - nice... looks like a page by techs, for techs... even if it's windows-centric. ;) -namor
Joe. If the tech you talked to was Kind, fast, accurate in TSing. Then it was me and where is the glowing email about me to my manager? ;) Maybe we will talk later. -Wolffarmer
all that power..for one person? tell me you need a PYF..and your in Newengland -neuman1812
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97.
Has anyone been hit by / Heard of this??
Stroy on CNN.com:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/internet/08/16/computer.worm/index.html
Yet another virus/worm that attacks Windows 2000 systems and causes them to shutdown. Of course, Microsoft already has a patch for it. Looks like I'll be patching my servers today....
[By: JoeLugian]
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Oops, should have read a little further back. Looks like Z0nker has already touched on this.... -JoeLugian
The funniest thing is... Microsoft came out and told everyone that there was a security flaw... why don’t just come out and say "HEY! ALL YOU MALICIOUS CODE WRITERS! HERES SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO!" Personally, I think its a sceme to make those people at home who dont watch tv any more, watch those lame shows that several other people have posted, just because their computer doesnt work. -haddytech
Worst of it is, Microsoft came out and said "There is this security flaw, but it's no bing deal..." and then a week later, POW! CNN gets nailed with it... -chazz
Oops. s/bing/big/ -chazz
I heard from a co-worker that Farmer's Insurance here in Los Angeles, where her husband works, closed down early yesterday because of it. -sassicatz
I like how Microsoft "was in an "emergency response" mode," and how they were "mobilizing our two war rooms." Um wasn't this the company who said that 200 was dead and that they had done their last update? -STJ
The last 24 hours have been hell here at $employer_with_over_3000_Win2K_machines... there's so much network traffic that we can't keep the domain controllers online... and the users are ignoring all emails and front-end recordings to keep asking us what's going on... I am starting to understand the concept of going Postal Tech... :) -Robster2001
Too late to really help with this idea, but I would have loved to hear about someone keeping their 'fish busy by convincing them that they needed their vital help in fighting the worm by turning off their computers, then watching for the swelling moving inside the network cable as the "worm" crawled through to another computer. Then drop a book on it or something, (don't want to just leave it up to them then, one imagined "worm", and someone uses a hatchet on their Cat5- that's just extra work...) -Voz
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98.
Burnt Toast
I have no clue what made me think of this a few minutes a go:
Does anyone remember the old Bud Light RADIO commercial (late 80's early 90's) that's centered around a Punk Classical music band? What happens is the band asks for Bud Light but recieves soemthing else and they get upset and trash their dressing rooms. Then, someone brings in Bud Light and they get all happy and start to head out to take the stage. As they start to take the stage, you can hear the crown chanting "Burnt Toast! Burnt Toast!" and one of the band members says in a typical british-rocker accent "Has anyone seen my cello?"
This ad used to make me die laughing. Anyone else remember it?
[By: JoeLugian]
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It made me think of our old Canadian Heritage Moments commercials. "Doctor, I smell burnt toast." (If you don't get that, don't worry. Probably only the Canadians will.) -Kensai7
As a Canadian, yes I get it... -RandalGraves
As a yankee, I find canadians amusing. As someone from north dakota, I'm used to being mistaken for one. -illiterate
Beauty, eh? Yes, I remember the "Burnt Toast" ad... and started chanting "Burnt Toast! Burnt Toast!" when I saw the title, not realizing yet you were talking about exactly that. :) -Mushroom
I remember that. - 'Burnt toast' always reminds me of the old episode of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, I think it was, where Mary Walsh was playing this trophy wife of some exec. Her character had actually had antlers surgically implanted in her head or something, and she kept babbling strange random fragments until she said something like, "Toast... does anyone smell burnt toast?" -teivrann
'Is everyone all right?' -TieDyedDinosaur
"You all know I canna read a word..." -Evilturnip
But I'm just a girl, what do I know? I'm playing, I'm not serious! -Mushroom
*completely* *totally* *utterly* *lost* -Mango
Life imitates Canadian beer commercials: http://www.punkrockorchestra.com Yes, I have seen them and yes, they really are fornicating awesome. (BTW, any remember Apocalyptica fans here? You ain't lived until you've heard three Norwegian cellists playing Metallica's "Creeping Death.") -MeanDean
Why do they insist on a Czech beer? What's wrong with American beer? . . . . What? . . . oh yeah. -robbor
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99.
My <deity> People are stupid....
Driving in to work this morning (I live in Central Florida) I'm listening to a local Tampa Morning radio show. They were talking about the shuttle landing this morning in California since the weather on the east coast of Florida was not favorable.
They were taking calls from listeners who had questions about the shuttle landing. The most prominent one was (get ready for this):
"Will we be able to hear the sonic boom as the shuttle lands?"
Hello! It's landing 3000 miles to the frigging WEST of us! Did you not take geography in school? Oh wait, I forgot, this is Florida.....
I can't believe people can ask dumb ass questions like that...
[By: JoeLugian]
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<starfish> So.... we'd be able to hear it if it were 300 miles to the east, theh? Howabout North & South? </sf> -Shaede
Please feel free to insert the missing '0' just about ^ there -Shaede
<fisss> hello radio Florida, SF: Hi will they hear the sonic boom in the UK? on my map its ooooo 1 foot away -Jax
Actually, when the shuttle lands in Florida at the Space Center, you can hear the sonic boom as it flies over. (If you are in the strip of land that it does fly over). Depending on the atmospheric conditions, I have heard it sound where you could barely hear it all the way up to 'What in the hell was that?!?' as it rattled the dishes in the china cabinet... -JoeLugian
I would say that hearing the boom depends on how many pieces it lands in <BFEG> -lineswine
So Florida is full of stupid people too?? Ok I declair that the world is stupid and all techs need to migrate to the same place...Lets take over Cancun. -Slycat
Hmm... in the idea of a planned neighborhood. I'm pretty good at thinking out the zoning and necessary ground work. (Actually not, I just like Sim City) -MaskedMarauder
Florida is so full of stupid people that it has its own category on Fark. I think we techs want a tropical island. -chazz
Florida - Jewel of the Senile. -lineswine
"Don't wanna hear no more BOOMs when the shuttle lands... trust me, I heard the last one!" -MadJack
Shaede, that's just creepy. NO STAPLER FOR YOU!!! -TheMage18
Well, I'm glad someone noticed - that took me ages to set up.... -Shaede
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100.
Ubuntu!
Ha! Posting this from my Ubuntu Live (5.04) CD. So far, I like it. GOing to install Ubuntu on a test system tomorrow at work to serve as a Intranet web server for the company. Flying blind but this should be fun. Wish me luck!
[By: JoeLugian]
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"Hi, I'm Judy Patch. With your donation to my Pay-Pal account, I will send you my CD which has my own version of Ubuntu, which I call U-kunt-u. You'll think of me every time you boot it up!" -rokitt
ROFLMAO @ rokitt -redevil34
These's also a smaller version called "U-runt-u. O.K. not as funny as Rokitt's. -robbor
Joe - you need the phone support version...I-Punt-U -lineswine
Silly Bunts, the lot of you </mp> -Shaede
LMAO @ Rokkitt, some one did a version of Knoppix called Knoppix Network Online Basic -installer CD -Jax
I was going to install the Eddie Murphy version UnFufu. ;) (does anyone get that joke?) -JoeLugian
i just installed it yesterday on a test machine, so far it runs nice, but i can't find the control panel, or a terminal window, or anything for that matter -razmann
You're not alone, I do JoeLugian. -JustAGirl
UnFufu... "what have you done for me lately?" -Ulfgaard
qif ubuntu confuses you, try kubuntu. kde interface as opposed to gnome, seems more intuitive for many windows escapees:) -timelady
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103.
I want one of these...
How cool is this???
http://www.artlebedev.com/portfolio/optimus/
[By: JoeLugian]
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how much will that sucker cost? -illiterate
I don't care, I'll get a second job! : ) That thing is way cool! -JoeLugian
(Mouth hanging open - drooling down the front of his shirt) *I'M NOT WOR-THY!!!* -ShujinTribble
To much :( -MoonWolf
I remember an Andre Norton Sci-Fi story from the 60's where this is the means by which the control panel on an alien spacecraft functioned. And now the government has finally released that technology from site 51! -TieDyedDinosaur
It'll be a while before it comes out for real - the display is based on OLEDs. But... dayum. I want. -chazz
Those displays would have to be pretty durable to withstand my furious button spamming in World of Warcraft... -techofalltrades
OHHHHHHHHH <Homer drool> -RandalGraves
Do excuse me, I've just come. -smellystudent
And, when they're in widespread use, techs can remote into user's systems and make the required keys flash so the SF can see which button to mash. Maybe they'll be able to deliver a small shock, as well. -Tekkie
WHOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA prettyyyyyyyyyyy............. I want one. I could see the need to switch layouts, since any time someone wants to use my system they have to contend with my Dvorak layout... well, then again, maybe not *eg* -teivrann
Hmm! Very clever. You think it will finally come with the "any" key? :) -TheGhost
DAMN... *mops up the pool of drool on the floor* I want one!!! -Torinir
Oooooooooooooooooooooooh! I want! *pants* -pixel
::Keyboardgasm!:: -TranceGemini
I gotta get one. Deffinitely. -ThreeBucks
But how easy is it to clean uhm we'll call it genetic material off of it -NOFXfan
Just so y'all know - it's not actually in production. But I agree, it's hella pretty. -namor
*has to pull jaw off floor*.
When that goes into production me wantee... -GeekGirl
Just watch the spyware get ahold of it. Instead of "Punch the monkey", it'll be "hit the flashing key!" -Bynar
Extremely cool. I just gotta wonder though... what's with the "Moscow is the capital of Russia" and "Our studio is located two blocks from the Kremlin"
and "There's no snow in Moscow during Summer" within the prod description?
-GIGO
The geography questions are in the "Frequently Answered Answers" section, GIGO... so they were probably emailed by average American high school graduates, people who don't know what time zone _they're_ in, much less where anything foreign is. -Kerendas
Me like this ...a lot. Ok, here it comes...."GIVE MEEE A NEW KEYBOARD!" <running in a random pattern towards a place of safety & giggling like a loon> -lineswine
Er... anyone know how to get dribble-marks off a TFT monitor? -Gromit
I got to go change my shorts now. I made white. -burrkiss
*glances around since no one has done it yet* I WANT A NEW KEEEYYBOOOOARDD!!! *dives for LART-shelter* -Lese
<just droooooooooling!!!> -NordicPT
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! -OgdenTechGuy
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105.
So what if the power is out??
This was told to me by my counterpart "Aniken" in another of my company's locations. He is the first line of support for the employees of another one of our company's divisions.
Seems that first thing Monday morning, "Aniken" got a call from an employee at the other division. The following is paraphrased because I undertand the conversation lasted several minutes:
Other employee: I can't get my computer to come up
Ani: You mean you can't sign into Citrix?
OE: No, the computer won't turn on.
Ani: Press the power switch.
OE: I did, it's not doing anything.
Ani: didn't you guys have a storm roll through last night?
OE: yea.
Ani: Can you check to see if you even have power?
OE: We have power. Some of the lights are on in this office.
Ani: Can you check the router and the DSL modem?
OE: There are no lights on the router and the dsl modem only has an orange standby light on.
Ani: Looks as if you only have partial power in your building. maybe some fuses blew or some breakers were tripped. can you check?
OE: I don't know how. Where would I look?
(Keep in mind, this is a GUY and he has worked in this location for a few years)
Ani: Look for the fuse box or the breaker box.
OE: Who should I call to get this fixed? I don't know...
In the meanwhile, another employee found the breaker box and reset the few breakers that were tripped during the storm. Everything started working like it should. I'm guessing 'Other Employee' isn't very handy around the house. ;)
[By: JoeLugian]
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so what you saying Joe? Only men know where breaker boxes are? -NOFXfan
Oh no! It's just that I know the two ladies that work in that office and if they didn;t know where the breaker box was, I wouldn't fault them. Guys I expect to know this stuff... -JoeLugian
*puts on his nomex suit and steps away from Joe* Sorry buddy but yer probably gonna fry for that one *grin* -FrontSideBus
Someone's gonna fry for a reverse sexism comment? No way! Not in a group of techs. Not when the lady techs see it. Nuh uh. *hops in a plane going to different continent just to be sure* I'd go to another solar system, but my flying saucer is in the shop. -FreakyFerret
*knows where the breaker boxes are in HER office and home* -taieena
C'mon, now. This wasn't bashing ladies at all. All I said was that I KNOW the 2 ladies that work there and if THEY didn't know where the breaker box was, I wouldn't have faulted THEM. No sexism here at all.... -JoeLugian
but you do fault the guy Joe and that is the issue -NOFXfan
Sexism aside, the owner of the funeral home I work at has difficulties replacing light bulbs, let alone finding fuses. Some people (of EITHER gender) are just mechanically DEclined and that's that. -virtualchoirboy
Yea, I half expect a guy to have a basic working knowledge about certain things. Hell, I know he's not an electrician but at least understand what a breaker box is, where it is and maybe even understand what it's for. -JoeLugian
@Joe: *SHARP SMACK IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD* THESE *points at tits* DO NOT PRECLUDE THESE *points at head, circa brains* Got it? *Snarls and stalks away, lashing tail* -TranceGemini
<watches in awe and fear at TranceGemini, then wanders off to do whatever she's told me to do> ;) -Diptera
Joe? What Joe? We don't know no Joe around here. -RiffRaff
Sorry, count me in on Joe's side. Most women, unless they've *demonstrated* technical competence, I'll doubt. A guy, I kind of expect these things of, just because they're expected of *me* by the women all around me. Yes, I'm stating something that can be construed as sexit, but I'm basing it on observed patterns of behaviour. The only thing wrong, perhaps, is that it's posted on a site where the only women viewing, would be more likely to break that stereotype and therefore get offended when it's stated. -namor
Trance, Once you're done smacking namor how about spreading the love??? <bashful grin> -DragonMageWTF
umm, Reverse Sexism is like Reverse Racism, it's NOT being sexist (not being sexist to males instead of females, that's just called sexism). You really shouldn't expect anyone to know anything, regardless of sex or race or color (unless your purple, then you MUST know how to fly) or planet of origin or level of sanity, etc...This isn't the 1940's anymore, there are plenty of men and women who do everything. I know plenty of men who don't know anything about a circuit breaker (read a couple of the posts on here and just take a guess how many starfish couldn't flip a breaker). -squatchie666
humm nice firestorm here today. -Deadagent
TranceGemini, you should know better then to point to those things here. -Deadagent
In fairness, I know where the circuit breaker is in my home, I have no !@#$ing clue where it would be in this building.. I'd probably head down the stairs and neep at the building managers. -illiterate
Id let you in the fox hole dude.. but... yea.. CD terrifies me. but here - take the teleporter - its not set to a particular co-ordinate and can't be programed but, well anywere is better then here right? -Harm
Sorry what? I was too transfixed by Trance's tits... -Bynar
Namor: *SMACK* Hey, guys, thanks, I know my tits are awesome ^ ^. My coworker Tiana read this after I commented and added, "You've just proven that men *are* that stupid--cuz I don't know any woman who doesn't know where her circuit breaker and fuse box are. And usually it's we women who're fixing it...cuz we get tired of sitting in the dark; we eventually want the ability to READ." ^ ^ Ell oh ell. -TranceGemini
*warms hands on TSC comment flames* I'm immune to the whole "sexist" thing, I play by both sets of rules. ^^ -TheMage18
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106.
An apology and an explanation...
.. regarding my post earlier on Tuesday:
Everyone PLEASE understand that I was NOT bashing females in any way. I re-read my post and am still not getting how everyone took it so wrong. Here's what I meant:
I know all the employees at the location mentioned in the post. All I was trying to say was that I expect the GUY to know where the frelling breaker box was. It's a small building with only a few rooms. Hell, he is the warehouse guy who is in charge of shipping. He operates machinery, etc. One would THINK he would be capable of finding the breaker box. Emphasis on the fact I am talking about a SINGLE INDIVIDUAL.
The comment I made about if the two ladies that worked there didn't know whre the breaker box was, again, I was talking about THE TWO INDIVIDUALS, not all women in general. I KNOW the two ladies and they are absolute SAVIORS in that office when it comes to the day to day operations (frequently finding and correcting errors that the male owner makes). If THEY (again, refering to the two female individuals in that office) couldn't find the breaker box, I would understand. I don't expect THEM to know where the breaker box is, but I DO EXPECT them to know how to do their job.
I hope this clears things up. I am the farthest thing you will find from a sexist. Trance, apologies if I offended you but I think you read a little more into that story than was meant. :) Namor, thanks buddy! :)
[By: JoeLugian]
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No prob. I ordinarily object to anyone basing job descriptions on whether you have an innie or an outie in your underpants but I think your emphasis on "Keep in mind, this is a GUY" derailed your message. I know where our many breaker panels are at work but I'm the IT department, therefore I'm responsible for *everything* electrical <sigh>. But I also put in a Saturday at work just labeling the panels so I could tell what was going on. That part is pure control freak & it knows no gender. -Tekkie
My friend, a simple rule for life: Never expect less of a woman than you do of a man.western culture's biggest secret is that the weaker sex is the male one. if you don't believe me, shove a canteloupe(I'm being merciful here) 2 feet up your @ss, then push it back out. If you can do this routinely 3-4 times in your life, you will be the equal of the female of the species. Of course you have to do your tech job every day up to the 35th week without a glimmer of what you are experiencing.Never , ever expect less of a woman than you do of a man. The women will make you pay and they will be right to do so! -mwad
OK, again: I do NOT expect less from a woman than a man. I just expected MORE from THIS guy and would COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND if the two that ladies I was refering to didn't know where it was. I wouldn't hold it against them nor would I praise them if they actually knew! It's not a male/female thing! It's directed at the individuals at the aforementioned location. -JoeLugian
OK since Joe has restated is comment to make it easyer to understand here's the translation: The freaking guy on the phone is the guy you would ask "hey where's the breaker" the women he was refering to are the ones you would ask "hey where do you keep the paper?" or "do you have those TPS reports done, did you get the memo" -drachen
In case I wasn't as clear as it sounded in my head when I typed it, I don't have a problem with your post. ;) And I'd be just as frustrated with someone who works in the plant but doesn't have a clue about the breaker panels. What if there were an emergency & the person with the braincell were missing? It's common sense for folks to educate themselves about the environment they're in. -Tekkie
Hm. Just checked the comments on the previous - I disagree with the smack I got. Anyone want to argue, then go for it. -namor
Joe, the problem I had was your statement of 'Guys I expect to know this stuff... ' That to me says you expect men to know about technical things. In my view, that is a sexist statement. I won't say you are sexist. I don't know you. Also, I'm not going to be looking at you from now on as 'The Sexist Pig' guy. Everyone says something off-the-cuff at times. -FreakyFerret
Could we wind this back a moment. Was i really the only one who read Joe's post as a light hearted tale and not a heavy swing at the opposite sex. Last time i checked this was called Tech Support Comedy, he made a slight slip of the keyboard but he obviously didn't mean it, he has been here long enough for me to know that. Cmon people this isn't a flame board please stop being so touchy. -Armakuni
Never mind that - does anybody have footage of mwad with the canteloupe, 'cause that certainly sounded like it was coming from somebody with experience... -Diptera
Sorry guy, I was just breaking your balls over the "this is a GUY" part, no harm intended on your part I'm sure. -NOFXfan
This is my first and last comment on this subject: Armakuni - bloody well said! -Gromit
Thanks Armakuni. And to everyone else... -JoeLugian
So, what have you got against INDIVIDUALS! (Splinter Cell creeps to the lart shelter staying in the shadows the entire time) -maciarc
LOL ROFFLECHOPTER! !!! The PC smacktards strike again. Even if it was a gender oriented post who cares. way to ruin someones tech comedy experiance you guys! I think you guys are just looking for a new Eggshen. -putahtek
Fact or Crap: Political correctness is for soccer moms and the priesthood. -putahtek
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107.
One of the funniest things I have ever..
...read. Just got this on TechTales:
Original goes where???
This story is somewhat OT, but is very much in keeping with the spirit of this excellent site.
Copiers have been our offices for what? 30yrs?
Still, one woman called saying that the office copier "ate" her very important original. Needless to say, my co-workers and I where somewhat mystified. Did the Docfeeder jam? no.
So that leaves only the platen glass which, of course, doesn't move on modern copiers.
Seems she put her "very important" document into the manual feed tray... with the top, docfeeder open of course, and out the otherside comes a sheet with a solid black image where her document used to be.
We still laugh about this today.
Nice self LART.
[By: JoeLugian]
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Very sweet. Oh, what I'd pay to see people's expressions when they do these things... -teivrann
That's easily as good as 'Hey sonny, can you help me with this machine? Yes sir, Mr. President, you put the paper in here and press this button and the shredded waste goes into the trash! OK, now I just need it to make two copies...' -TieDyedDinosaur
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109.
New Laptop
It's arrived! I have a question. Can someone tell me why under computer properties the clock speed of the proc is less than half that of the rated processor speed even when plugged in? It's a Pentium 4M 760 (2Ghz) processor but it's being reported as 798Mhz. Can you tell it to run at full speed or does it speed up as you need it? Thanks in advance for any and all info!
[By: JoeLugian]
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Maybe intel's re-introduced the "Floating Point" bug to this year's models? -ShujinTribble
iirc, modern laptops speed up the clock when needed. -pcgod
Can you say "SpeedStep"? Automatic CPU throttling based on active load.... -Grue
And when you max it out, it reads...? -Geminii
Just ran across this myself. 1.8GHz Pentium M running at 263MHz (I Kid You Not!). Cure for me was going into Power settings and changing to 'Presentation'. It'll drop your battery life, but make it come up to speed better. -CTYankee
Both machines I have will run at a lower speed than advertised if it fails to boot properly. You have to go into the BIOS and change the clock multiplier value. I don't know if that would be the same in this case. -Jay911
Your chip automatically slows down when not needed. This can be a pain in the ass for most games. If you launch for example, Unreal Tournament, it starts up, gets your clock speed and sets all its internal timings based on (in my case) a 383mhz processor, and then the game starts and the CPU goes back to 1.6 ghz and everything moves weird. Solution: When you need to know the max speed for something like game to detect correctly, run SETI@Home, or Folding@home (they peg the CPU @ 100%). When you don't need the power, don't care what the speed is. It will scale up automatically. -snJimboip
My Toshiba has a setting in the bios that can be set to max processor speed. Maybe yours might too. -kryliss
If you are running under linux, you may need to reconfigure when powernowd gets started/stopped. I just bought a laptop and set it up so that when it is on AC power it does not scale the processor speed. -pcmacman
Thank you everyone for all the help. I like the idea of it running slower when I don't need the power to save battery life. But snJimbiop made a good point: I will be playing games with this thing and want to make sure it't screaming when I start it up. I wonder if Intel has a utility that can set the proc speed from windows XP and not have to go into the bios. I'll start checking.. -JoeLugian
You need to run 'Whip 3.3' to make the horsie gallop! -TieDyedDinosaur
OK, I'll agree. But, why does my laptop always say 2.79G, no matter what "cr@p" I run. -DizzyDan
It's actually kind of XP having a funk.
The processor is quietly throttling up and down as needed but XP seems to pick a random figure to display half the time.
My AMD64 has so far run at 100mhz and 800mhz even though it's going flat chat -fearmyroot
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110.
For sale:
(This is OT and probably should be in the forums but I wanted to give it a jumpstart here first.)
I have for sale a slightly used Sandisk SD (Secure Digital) 802.11b wireless / 256MB Combo card. I used it in my dell Axim X30 and it works great, I just got my hands on a new X30 with builtin Wireless so I don't need it anymore.
This Combo card usually goes for $95 - $125 online. I am asking $50.00. Includes Protective carrying case, driver disk and manual (all original).
Anyone interested, please contact me at tonym2@tampabay.rr.com. I can easily accept PayPal but will accept cash (of course) or check (I will send item after check clears).
Thanks for your attention.
[By: JoeLugian]
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I have a slightly used cat for sale. It lives out in the drainage trench. Looks sort of rough but seems to function well. Going cheap! -TieDyedDinosaur
Sorry, I really should try to resist these opportunities to make a snide 'contribution', but it's been a while since I had a real good LARTing, so... -TieDyedDinosaur
I bid 5$ for the card..and 150$ for the cat. Its hard to find good pussy these days -neuman1812
You think pussy thats been in a drainage ditch is good? Dude raise your standards, or offer less. :D -burrkiss
Don't you just call it "pre-moistened, experienced" and put it on ebay? -namor
Sorry, Sandisk card is sold. Thanks everyone for looking. :) -JoeLugian
The cat is still there. Anyone who wants it can leave the money under the doormat and 'catch a little kitty':?, -TieDyedDinosaur
Did you notice today's Woot? (www.woot.com) -normntaz
TDD, your 'cat' is going 'cheep'? This may come as something of a shock to you, but what you've got there is a budgie. This may explain it's disdain for cat-food being matched by a hunger for bird-seed. Also, you don't see a feathered cat every day of the week, now do you? -Gromit
i assume the wifi/flash drive has been sold...? -omegawolf
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111.
I have to brag...
I just recieved the order confirmation of my new Dell laptop. here are the specs:
Dell Inspiron 9300
P4M 2.0Ghz (533Mhz FSB, 2MB L2 cache)
1GB RAM
100GB HDD
17" WUXGA LCD with True Life (wide screen)
ATI Mobility Radeon X300 128MB Graphics Card
8X DVD +/- RW Drive
80WattHour Battery
Intel ProWireless 2915 Internal wireless a/b/g card
Built in 10/100 NIC and 56K Modem
Windows XP Pro SP2
Minimal factory installed software
2 year On Site Next Business day warranty
I wanted a desktop replacement laptop that would be decent for some gaming. I got a very good deal too from my Dell business sales rep.
Sorry, just had to brag.: )
Oh, it doesn't ship until the 20th. DAMN!
[By: JoeLugian]
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only the X300 pfffft (yes yes I'm jealous) -NOFXfan
I got my dell (Inspiron 9100) about eight months ago. When I placed the order the estimated delivery was going to take about three weeks. After two days I got an update reducing that to one week. The next day I got a phone call to arrange delivery. -pmillipede
<SPROINGGGG!> -CyBear
I'm thinking that when I get it and am setting it up, I am going to set the computer name to "MACDADDY" :) -JoeLugian
Machine is sweet but the X300 is a bit underpowered for gaming IMO. Other than that, it kicks serious ass. -DavidHM
madmaxx68 just got his. Same except nVidia. -NightSteel
Heh heh -- just placed an order for a 9300 today myself -- slightly different specs -- didn't lay out for the full 2.0 gig, but I did splurge on the video (and the accident damage protection . . . ). Hope one of us didn't get a better deal than the other -- I found a web coupon for $750 off from Dell Home. -Big Bad Mojo
http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/?t=archives&date=2002-11-09
That about says it all. -Mathias
Trust me, for the gaming that I do, the X300 will suffice. I don't plan on Doom3 at 1600x1400 with full AA. : ) -JoeLugian
Young Grasshopper, The speed of the machine is not your undoing, it is the sushi at your side laced with triptophan. :) -Chronotis
"Do you think your speed has anything to do with your processor in this place? You think those are gigs your saving? Hmm... Again!" </poor matrix parody> -maciarc
;_; I wanna new laptop!!! -TheMage18
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112.
Silly assed movie
Well, I finally got to see the movie "Hackers" over the weekend. Yes, it was the first time I've seen it. How totally ridicules was it? If it weren't for Angelina Jolie, I would have turned it off in the first 5 minutes. :)
[By: JoeLugian]
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OK yes it IS dated.. but the music is cool and angelina... OHH the wetware. leather... < drool> sorry, were was i ? OH yea.. angelina in leather < drool> -Harm
See, that's what you get for applying logic to a movie. Movie's are entertainment, and hence, fall outside the realm of reality. And yes, Angelina is the only reason I even watch it anymoe. -Bobsentme
It is basically a story written by someone that did not understand computers, produced by someone that didn't understand computers for an audience that didn't understand computers. By starfish for starfish. And, yes, angelina was hot. -ecoli
ecoli - Wait... Aren't you talking about "Wargames", now? -ShujinTribble
I still like it. Sure, it's not 'real' - but if they kept to that, it wouldn't be cool, nor would it have Angelina in it. It's better than Swordfish for technical reference, at least. -namor
Oh, did one of the 'Hackers' get a BJ while trying to deduce a 128-bit DES key? -TieDyedDinosaur
that was Hugh Jackman in Swordfish -areatech
Okay, all together now, open the dictionary and look up 'mcguffin'... after all, the studio couldn't admit it was just an excuse to put Angelina into slinky outfits and provocative situations <grin> -CTYankee
I've been hacking gibsons with my ibook since I saw that movie. not only does the LCD screen project 3d images onto my face, but navigating file systems is done via a 3d fly-through of a virtual city. You've gotta do a righteous hack if you wanna be elite. -modeski
I actually liked the movie Hackers, just as I liked Wargames and Sneakers. They're just flights of fantasy to provide mindless entertainment. It's like in the Net, she uses a Duo 280c but apparently doesn't need the modem dongle for it. Brain off, entertainment on :) Besides if I wanted a hardcore hacking extravaganza I'd go to DefCon :) -fearmyroot
It's like Star Trek, Entertaining, but there are only so many shuttle crashes and holodeck malfunctions that one can take :) -Jamm
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113.
New web browser...
I live in the central Florida Area. Out of Tampa there is a radio station, 93.3FLZ. The MJ Morning show is one of the best I have heard. I actually agree 99% of what is discussed on that show and listen to it regularly on the way to work.
On the way to work on Friday I was listening and the Host, MJ Kelli was talking about the "new" web browser out there called Firefox and how he's switched because it's much better than IE. He kept on the fact that it was brand new and that it just came out. Even the "web savy" member of the morning show that takes care of the day to day content on their website (www.mjmorningshow.com) didn't know what it was.
That's not the funny part.....
The next day, My wife and i are heading to WalMart to do our weekly grocery shopping and she blurts out this little number:
"Have you heard about the new web browser that was competing with Internet Explorer? MJ says he uses it and that it's a lot better than IE blah blah blah..."
I told her, 'yea, Ive heard of it. been using it exclusively for almost 2 years now ever since it's Beta version of .8. It's now at version 1.0.3. And while we are on the subject, there are alot of other web browsers out there besides IE (I list off a few)....."
She's like "Oh, well then I guess you have heard of it..."
Yes, Honey. I have. : )
[By: JoeLugian]
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This is the gist of stories that always make me remember the Terry Pratchett line... "Being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the century of the FruitBat" as a comment about Luddites. -TieDyedDinosaur
It's the same sort of idea behind forwarded jokes/pictures... "OMFG LOL THIS IS TEH CUTE LOL !!!11!!1" - thanks, but chances are anything good on the internet, I saw a *long* time before you, friend. -namor
I'm not a huge fan of MJ Kelly. But then again, I mostly listen to country and 80s music. I've found him too coarse. -TechieSidhe
TechieSidhe - country music...COUNTRY MUSIC??? As in:- Big hats, bigger hair, banjos & incest? Nooooo, tell me it isn't so! -lineswine
There are very few things in Country music that are worth listenin' to. I favor The Dixie Chicks...and not just cuz I wanna boink Natalie Maines...I mean...^ ^ And it was funny, I knew FF had been out a long time when I got it but my much more tech-savvy friend (at the time) kept saying, "I'm so glad you're finally getting up-to-date, stop using IE, etc, etc" till I pointed out that the person who convinced me to switch WASN'T him. =P -TranceGemini
I wouldn't complain -- at least Country Music actually qualifies as "music" -- unlike (c)rap! (Rap ain't music -- it's bad token rhyme set to a [usually stolen] rhythm track. Music requires three things: melody, harmony, AND rhythm; sometimes can get by with two of the three. Rap only has rhythm -- and often, as I said above, unoriginal at that!) -Captain Trips
I experienced this first in junior high school. Metallica's "...And Justice For All" album had just come out and was getting the airplay I always thought Metallica deserved(up until the next album). I was walking down the hall between classes and hear one prep say to another :Wow, have you heard this new band Metallica? They kick so much ass" or some such. They had no idea why I literally fell over laughing. Some people just have zero research skills! -GargoyleTS
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115.
A Big "Thank You" to Lindsey from RR...
.....Tech Support.
Welcome to TSC Lindsey! Let me know when you finally make it to this site! And thanks for your help this evening!
[By: JoeLugian]
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And then you can post humorous stories about the call from Joe! -TieDyedDinosaur
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116.
I was inspired
With all of the talk about the latest TSC get together, I decided to go out and buy the book of which our own Snowcrash gleaned her nick from (the title). To be honest, I never heard of that book until it ws discussed here on TSC. I have read the first chapter and it looks great! Thanks everyone for turning me on to this piece of literature!
[By: JoeLugian]
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After this one, check out cryptonomicon. -illiterate
My personal favorite: The Fuck Up - http://tinyurl.com/5tad6 -Painkiller
Diamond Age is good, too. -docbrown01
I have Diamond Age, Cryptonomicon, and Snowcrash. Have read them all. -Veinor
I really dislike Stephenson. Good story, well written, and usually one gaping plot hole big enough to drive the QE2 through. Bugs the hell out of me. Snowcrash is OK... Cryptonomicon had me going "WTF!!??!!?!" about 3/4 of the way through, Zodiac just totally threw me for a loop near the end, Diamond Age left a lot of loose ends and left me wondering... it just bugs me. That is all. -chazz
I too only read the book after finding out our 'Crash's nick was based on a novel. I'm sorry to say I'm not overly impressed with Neal Stephenson as an author, IMHO he hangs on William Gibson's coat tails a little too much. The basic premise of the book was a pretty good idea, but he never really went anywhere with it, and the central characters were a little 2D for my liking. Also I didn't think the plot needed all that religious baggage, it over-egged the pudding. I know its harsh to judge an author on just one book, but it really put me off reading anything else he's put out. Maybe if I hadn't grown up with the world of 'Chiba city and The Shades, I'd have enjoyed it a bit more. -Digital Dogcow
I read Cryptonomicon and enjoyed it in spite of some of the holes that chazz mentions. Maybe it's because I'm not as much of a writer, myself. speak of Gibson, though - his latest left me with a worse feeling than Crypto. -namor
Actually, Milaar named me. We'd both recently gotten done reading a lot of Stephenson. If I had been reading somethign different, I'd probably still have this name. :) -snowcrash
Painkiller, I just got that today and am looking forward to reading it. Judging from the blurbs, it sounds like my life, which sometimes has something of a "theatre of the absurd" feel! -AllStationary
Y'all have *got* to love The Deliverator, though....Stephenson's just so obviously pushing it past the edge and over into satire. And if you like that part of the book, try "The Road To..." books by Robert Ludlum. His rep is for violent action spy stories, but in "The Road to..." stories he purposely pushed it over the edge for fun. -CTYankee
Anyone tried "Permutation City" ? -Geminii
A list of good books like this is good to have, copied this to the break room, http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?p=30218#30218 -Disallowed
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117.
Veritas Backup Exec PITA
Hello everyone, I know this isn't the place for this but I need help quickly as my job may depend on it...
I use Veritas Backup Exec 8.6 to backup 4 of my servers. I set up 4 backup jobs (one for each server) that run every night 30 minutes apart. Each job is a "backup to disk" job meaning that each job creates a ".bkf" file on a disk THEN a 5th job runs a few hours later and backs up ALL the BKF files to tape. There are 2 types of Jobs: daily and weekly. Every nignt the "daily" job runs and creates a 'B2D0000.bkf'at the time it runs (example, 8:30pm on Monday) on Tuesday the Tape job runs and backs up that file to tape then on Tuesday night at 8:30pm, the daily job runs again and overwrites it. The weekly job does this same thing except on a weekly basis. Here's the issue:
I need to get a file off of a tape for a week ago. I grab the tape from last Thursday (hasn't been overwritten yet) and restore the correct .bkf file for the server. I then try to restore the file I need from that .bkf file but Veritas gives me several errors, mostly of which are 'There is an inconsistancy on the backup file". If I try to restore from a .bkf file that is still on the disk, it works but .bkf files from tape seem to give me this issue. I am guessing that Backup Exec THINKS that the file is the one that was just created during last nights backup but in reality it was created a week ago. How do I tell Backup Exec that I need it to read this file?
Any and all help will be much appreciated. I am at the end of my rope here...Thank you all for listening and sorry for the length.
[By: JoeLugian]
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dunno anything about that software, but perhaps changing the date back? Also, turn on your icq, ya lugian ;) -Chronotis
Joe, when you restore the file try to re-catalog the backup file. I don't use veritas, but I think the ntbackup is the same. My guess is that the catalog only has the latest backup since you give it the same name and location. If it won't catalog, try giving the restored backup file a different name, then catalog it. Hope this helps -TechDaddy
Thankd, Techdaddy. I'll give that a try. -JoeLugian
I use backupexec and definatly, if you overwrote the file, it thinks it's the last one it made. (poor coding there?), anyway on the devices tab,right click the device you have replaced the media for (file system backups are also backup devices in this program...) and choose catalog. I don't know how long this will take for a filesystem backup, probably not long, but it takes forever on large tapes!. If you need more help, just whiteboard me between 1:00 and 4:00 PM EST I'll be onsite then, sitting right in front my servers... -garwain
Garwain, I will defiantely try what you said. If you want, you can even ICQ/AIM me as I have it up all day. Thank you! -JoeLugian
Yes, the above answers are correct. Veritas stores catalog information when it creates the backup file based upon the volume name. If the volume name, file name, or tape lable is the same then it is looking for the wrong file. You will need to get veritas to verify the file that you restored by running a catalog on it and then you should be able to restore the file. Might I suggest that you take a hard look at your backup stratagy? The method that you're using is pretty complex. Anything that complex is sure to fail often. -scooby111
^^^^What they said, and ALWAYS verify your backup tape. Especially if it's a multi-volume tape backup. Sure, it puts more wear and tear on your tape drive, but if tape #2 is bad you're fsck'd. -VIPERsssss
Scooby, I appreciate your advice. Yes, was able to catalog (finally) the latest restored .bkf file (I think the others were corrupted) but when I went to resotre a file from the BKF, I got a "An Inconsistancy in the media" error and of course, the restore didn't work. As far as I know, backing up BKF files isn't something new or overly complex. I like having a recent backup at my fingertips hence backing up to disk first (quick and easy restors from there) I didn't think that backing up a BKF file would do any damage. The only thing that I can think of is that all the BKF files I am backing up are on a SnapServer. This is also where I sent the restores of the BKF files. Possible that the BKF file is getting corrupt while it gets restored over the network? Gonna try it by restoring to a local disk.. -JoeLugian
Update: I tried last Friday's BKF file restored form tape. No luck. Will try previous friday's BKF file on monday. Wish me luck.... -JoeLugian
Silly question, Joe - are you sure your tape drive's OK? Sometimes they can write (and even verify!) OK but try to restore from tape and you get problems if the drive's marginal or the heads are about up for a clean. Do you have another drive? -Gromit
I don't pass out Karma lightly. <loads karma directly into TCP/IP stack> BTDT, got lucky and recovered most of the data. Take some breaks to clear your head and take notes of what steps you've already taken. You don't want to repeat them once you start getting tired. -VIPERsssss
*Starts shoving Karma into the stargate* STAND CLEAR! -halfstarfish
Most probable cause is the tape is bad. Veritas will throw errors when reading the files off of tape if the tape's degrading. Retire your current tape set and purchase new ones and that should resolve it. -TheMage18
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118.
The stupid rich lady
This story is not "computer" tech, but my dad is an Automitive tech for the local Mercedes/Volvo dealership and this story comes from him.
Later last week, a 2002 Volvo S60 come in on a tow truck. It belongs to the wife of the owner of a local independant insurance company. The reason it was towed in was "The car just stopped running on the interstate and would not start again. So, she called the roadside assistance that the dealership provides. My dad gets the car into his bay and opens the hood then attaches the analyzer to the car's computer. No codes, nothing seems to be wrong. Then he sees the problem....
The frigging car is OUT OF GAS!!!!!
That's right! This lady had her car towed into the dealership because it was out of gas!! HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU NOT KNOW THE CAR IS OUT OF GAS?? Hell, it flashes a nice amber light at you AND beeps!!! I have lost all faith in humanity......
[By: JoeLugian]
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"But it still runs when those lights are on, so they must not really mean anything". -TieDyedDinosaur
My sister-in-law walked home from the mall a few weeks ago because she could not open her car due to the fact that the remote opener wasn't working. And yes, the key WAS on the keyring. You think it's an urban legend, until it happens to someone you know. -QuinTech
Two years ago, one of my boy scouts did not know what a manual can opener was. Today he is a pretty good cook. -LaserGuru
I guess she figures if the car is so expensive, it can make it's own gas. Just wait until she gets her first Check Engine Light, you could sell her a new car and make a killing :). -AgentV3
Sadly to say, I was one of those people who was truly confused by the little light near the fuel gage. It would come on and the car would die. I would call my husband and explain the car died, he would then enquire if the little light came on before it died and he would suggest I push it to the nearest gas station and see if it would take gas, thankful it was a really small car. Now, you need to understand I personally changed fuel and fluid hoses, clutch, fuel injectors, and wiring harness on that car, I just didn’t get the concept of having to continue putting in fuel. Since those early years, he has since trained me to put fuel in the car when it is still half full. -DizzyDan
Oh, and AgentV3, if it had been a check engine light, I would have know what to do about it. It's amazing how fast that little light will come on when the thermostat for your cooling fan takes a hike. -DizzyDan
hrm, needed the AA equivelent I have 3x, 2x were for lockouts (dang pickup without a remote, and cell calls don't mix...) and the other time was when my alt gave out... it took a total of 3 minutes (with radio and AC off) from the time the light came on until the engine died! When the light came on, I thought I could at least get to my office, charge the battery, then get to the garage! My mistake there... -garwain
Quintec: I've had that problem MYself. for some reason the cars battery cable (postive if you care) got torn and I didn't know it and the car's power would intermitently cut in and out while trying to start the car. I thought it was the battery so I was leaving work to go to the autopart store to get the battery charged/replaced and the remote wouldn't work cause the car had no power. I breifly considered finding a coat hanger or a slim jim(about 30 seconds) then I relized I had the key. It took a more confusing problem(the battery cable thing) to make me forget the obvious solution the the more imediate problem. and I severly larted my self for it. The chicks dig the peglegged guys anyway right? right? :( -drachen
Are the roadside assistance guys also starfish? Most of the guys I know who do that sort of gig check the obvious things, like fuel, before towing. -karlata
Ex-twatboss's-son - ran his car for two months with the oil light on because "it kept on going, so I assumed the light was wrong." £2500 later, new engine :-) -smellystudent
My car not only turnes on a light, flashes an "E" in the display and goes "Bing"... It also has a voice prompt say "Fule Level is low". It's a japanese car built for americans. -Dj
Dj -- does it make you feel fule-ish when it does all that? My car lights up an orange light... and it's close enough to the fuel gauge that I can tell right away what it means. -chazz
Ever try to diagnose a bad ground? Especially with Neons, a bad ground will cause lots of wierd gremlins. It happened to my brother, a ground wire had worked it's way loose and suddenly the car wouldn't crank. We literally stumbled onto the bad wire and fixed the problem. I have a 2001 Neon myself, and if it gets a CEL, I can turn the key three times and it'll display the OBD-II codes on the digital odometer, pretty cool, though a flashing CEL on the Neon means extreme danger, stop engine now (usually during a misfire problem). I'm saying if she pulled a CEL, and it happened to be a problem that causes the engine to run rough or stall (E.G., cam or crank position sensor, throttle positon sensor, or even a Manifold Absolute Pressure Sensor if equipped), would probably be convinced she needs a new car if she thinks running out of gas warrants a trip to the dealer (though by doing so, she probably chipped off about 20-25% of the fuel pump's life, it needs gasoline to keep it cool). -AgentV3
On my first car, I saw a light come on on the dash on my way to work. Didn't recognize it, but there was a garage a block away, so I'd figured I'd pull in there and look up the light in the manual. Not fifty feet later - *BANG*, and the factory-fitted engine became a factory-fitted anchor. Build quality, bah. -Geminii
My father had a car that as soon as the fuel guage touch the Empty line, the engine would stop (Datsun 180B). My current car still has 20 litres when it is on the Empty line, and a further warning at 5 litres remaining. So I have plenty of warning. BTW, I had to help dad push that car a number of times. -Wraith556
Okay I have a confession to make. While driving a rental car a little over two years ago I was unable to get the key to turn to start the car. I was also unable to get the keys out. I ended up calling AAA to help me out. While waiting I noticed the problem. Without thinking I turned the car off while the car was still in drive. I finally realized the shift was still in D when I shifted it to park. Then the car started no problems. I embarrasedly called AAA back saying they weren't needed. Hey gimme a break, I wasn't used to a floor shift! -TheJman
At least her car has a gas light. Mine doesn't, and I found that out the hard way once. After I just barely made it home with no gas (had to restart the car six times) I decided that was never gonna happen to me again. -TheJman
Apparently, my wife doesn't think that warning lights are important. Recently, she got a "check engine" light while driving to the store. Instead of calling me to check it out, she went to the store, did the shopping, and drove home. It wasn't until she had been back about 1/2 hour that she mentioned the light. I went out to check it, and the car was dead (dead battery, luckily). I told her that she could have been stranded, or seriously damaged the engine, and she needs to let me know right away the next time it happens. -docbrown01
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119.
Fun with comments
While searching for another way to switch SMTP servers on the fly for Outlook (I already use 2 hosts files that get renamed with a batch file) I ran across this page. Please read some of the comments below the script. I love the one :
Comment: my name is alan and l belong to aol my e-mail is midusf123@aol.com and l have accidently deleted an e-mail from babara.walker@sjvarghese.com
can you help me
And this one:
Comment: I have been using Outlook Express. Lately I have been unable to send out mail. I have checked my settings over and over.
Thanks
Elaine
This one takes the cake:
Comment: How do I know if I set up outlook as my default email? Because i am having a hard time with it it worked before and now I can't get it to work. I don't want it as my default email I only wanted to know how to use it so I can put it on my resume
Equally as good:
Comment: accidently I have deleted my emails at outlook express and i want to know a free way to retrieve them , can you help in this pls.
Read 'em all! You love 'em!
[By: JoeLugian]
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Here's the link. Sorry... http://cwashington.netreach.net/depo/view.asp?Index=242&ScriptType=vbscript -JoeLugian
I especially like the guy who accuses the script writer of personally killing his AOL email out of the blue. -Digitalutah
Wow, just wow. I knew stupidity was out there. I'm just speachless. Wow thats morons on parade in a whole new level. I'm truely amased the people can do work meaningful enough to make a wadge. Something has gone horribly arry with evilution. -virusjtg
Does anyone else think that "I am alan of AOL" is remarkably similar to the Borg? -namor
As you mention it, did you find a decent way of changing servers on the fly? -smellystudent
Nothing that will solve all of our problems. I have several salesmen who use Earthlink (company provided) dialup when they are on the road but want to use their own DSL/Cable whne at home. Earthlink just sent us a notice that in the near future, the SMTP server will be changed to 'smtpauth.earthlink.net' and will require SMTP authorization. That's the thing killing my batch file, Cbale/dsl SMTP doesn't require auth, earthlink does. No way of turning that on and off easily without going into account setup. Something that works pretty cool is this: http://mailutilities.com/ars/
-JoeLugian
"No, $1000, $1000." -Geminii
"Almost everyone who posted above me is a complete idiot." Ha Ha Ha Ha well at least ONE of them isn't beyond all hope. -Digital Dogcow
Truthfull starfish posts...
-Enigo
Ok, fess up - which one of you posted the comment under the name "Joe Starfish"? That aside - OMG!!!!!!! My favorite comment is "And people wonder what happens when you introduce a mass of people with the IQ of a peice of toast to Google." -redevil34
If you bother to check their e-mail addresses, the majority are Aohell Lusers, and the rest just make up for it in sheer stupidity ;) -kuijen
This is why I am slowly losing my mind these days. 80% of the calls i handle these days come from fishies like this. Still, on the positive side this sad state of affairs has killed of my last bit of care for the Users and their problems. Now I just don't give a fuck. (I guess my training is complete ;O) -QBC
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120.
Dammit!!
My Eagles looked like crap most of tonight! They couldn't get it done and now I get to hear it from all the frigging Pats fans at work tomorrow. Ugh.....
[By: JoeLugian]
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and some pats fans on TSC! GOPATS -neuman1812
From a neutral point of view (I'm a Brit, after all), I've watched most of the televised regular season games, pretty much all the televised playoff games. I felt that McNabb didn't seem up to the job, that T.O. did - despite his injured ankle. Tom Brady & Deion Branch had outstanding games. -lineswine
Mcnab is probably hiding from the fans right now. -THETECHFROMHELL
Rush was right...now were is that lart shelter!!! -volmtech
why wait for tomorrow? hear it from the pats fans at TSC now :D gotta hand it to Owens though... that is one tough dude! but whats gonna be running aroung my head for all of next week is "Brady to Branch.... Brady to Branch" :D -slowANDeasy
There was a football game on today? -Starfury
What really hurt the Eagles was they appeared completely oblivious to the fact that time was counting down the last three times they had the ball. Freddie Mitchell catches a pass and does his little dance and stuff, instead of /running/ his ass back to the huddle. Another thing, at 3:30 left in the 4th quarter, down by 10, is that not no huddle time? Every opportunity was given to the Eagles to win this game, and they managed to strike each opportunity down with an apparent lack of care. -snJimboip
Well if the Eagles are anything like the Redsox you only have another 62 more years to go! -Dangermouse
Football? What's that? -chazz
Chazz - from what I can gather it's an organised fight between two gangs of armour-plated gorillas, punctuated by a pigs bladder that keeps getting in the way. Hope this helps. <Hope also that I can reach Pond Life in time....> -Gromit
I'm a Pats fan, but anybody who wants to flame McNabb is welcome to try to do his job or STFU. He got them to the Superbowl, now didnee? </rant> -CTYankee
Lousy clock mgmt on Reid's part combined with subpar play on McNabb's part cost them the win. Where was the urgency? Down by 10 with 4 minutes to go and the Eagles are acting like the 2nd quarter is ending, not the 4th. -viennasausage
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122.
I did it again!!
Posting this from my test system at home that I just installed Mandrake Linux 10.1 on. I am happy to say that the network is working great but it seems that the old, spare, test hard drive I am using is having seek or read issues, it's painfully slow!!
So, a big thanks to all of you who chimed in with your suggestions and a special HI to Mango (Graham) who sat through the entire install with me via AIM.
[By: JoeLugian]
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He gives me too much credit...I'm still working on my own install :-) It's been 20 minutes remaining for about the last 40 minutes. -Mango
YAY! Got mine working! (And using it to post this!) -Mango
i guess you got the dhcp working :p i just posted a fix for you in the message board. btw I was getting linux withdrawls and installed knoppix 3.6 on my lappy. got everything working except sound :P i am posting with it right now infact -SGTARKyTEK
The DHCP wasn't working on my test machine at my office, plus it was Mandrake 9.2. Here at home, I just installed Mandrake 10.1 and it seems to be working fine. Thanks! -JoeLugian
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123.
I did it!
I finally got Linux installed. I am posting this from a test install of Mandrake Linux 9.2. The only problem is when I activate the NIC, after I apply teh settings and close out of setup, the connection shows a status of "down" again and I lose network connectivity. I DO have to enter the ROOT password to enter the NIC and network setup. I am guessing my default user doesn't have the permissions to use the network. (Right now, the config screen is still open, if I close it, that's when I lose network connectivity.)
Any ideas on how I can fix this? I am such a n00b.....
[By: JoeLugian]
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1) yes, you shouldn't normally use a login that has permisions... "Thou shalt not take root in vain". 2) from a command prompt, su to root and do "ifconfig eth0 up" after the change... or at least do "ifconfig -a" to see what it has been setup to. 3) This should be posted in the forum if it's not urgent. -Dj
Might want to start a thread in the Message board. This is gonna get long. -Psudo
OK, heading to the message boards.... -JoeLugian
sudo is ypur friend, btw. stiops many a nasty slip, like rm -rf stuff while root:) -timelady
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124.
Linux Conundrum
Most of you saw anbd responded to my post last week about me giving Linux a try. I tried to install Debian and during the install, my harddrive failed (hard).
I did my best and scanned the Debian install manual, I understood about .01% of it. Makes me leary of trying to install it again since it seems geared to individuals already familiar with installing Linux.
I rememebred that I downloaded Mandrake Linux 9.2 last year and decided to try it. Well, right now it is currently installing on a test system here at my office. I know that the newest version of Mandrake is available (10.1) and will probably start downloading the free version of it when I get home tonight.
So, my fellow TSCers, my questions are:
1. What distro's does everyone prefer.
2. If you had to pick between Debian and Mandrake, which would you use?
3. What are the differences between mandrake 9.2 and 10.1? Are they as different as ME and XP or something along the lines of 98 and 98SE?
I want to thank everyone in advance for your input.
[By: JoeLugian]
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If your trying to learn linux, I would say one of the best distro's is Gentoo. They make you do everything yourself, but the Gentoo installation handbook does an extremely good job of getting you up and running. Just be warned that you will spend at least a weekend in front of a command prompt when you install it the first time. -Evan
Give Knoppix a look too, it's available as a live CD (boot off the CD and get a full Linux distro including Xwindows.) -EvilOtto
I've never heard of Gentoo, I will look it up and give it a try. I have tried Knoppix Live CD but I want a more "permenant" solution. UPDATE: Mandrake 9.2 is installed and I am feeling my way around. First thing I am trying to wrap my head around is the file system. I have 3 partitions acording to "DiskDrake": "/", "swap", and "home". As far as I can tell, /root is rigth above "home", correct? I wonder what "/" is..... -JoeLugian
Joe - / is everything, *EXCEPT* for the others. Make sense? :) /home is a separate partition, so it's an exception... root's home directory is part of / Swap is a separate partition just for, well, swap. -namor
Joe, one of the interesting things about the linux filesystem is you can have subdirectories located on a completely different hard drive (or computer for that matter!) than the parent directory. So as was already mentioned, /home is located on a different partition on your hard drive, but is still considered to be be a subdirectory of /. Confusing, I know, but you'll get the hang of it. I've been playing around with Gentoo off and on for a number of years now, and would be glad to help you out if you need it. -DreadPirate
mandrake is a decent distro for an intro. i used it for awhile but these days run mepis, suse and slack at home. i've found suse's support to be excellent but prefer slack out of all. also,*linux for dummies* is said to be an excellent book but it comes w/ redhat, which i do NOT recommend. regardless, we're all here if you need an assist and good luck.
-omegawolf
they can pry debian from my cold dead fingers. but start with fedora or mandrake. later the better, like all software imho:) once you comfy with that, play with debian (knoppix is debian based) -timelady
I'm going to school for a CS degree, one of my majour focuses in this is Unix coding. So, I'm pretty familiar with the ways that a lot of the distros handle their modules what the ups and downs are. I'd be more than happy to talk to you about this in a better place, feel free to message me Skaboy4242 on AIM and I'll be more than happy to try and help. BTW, if anyone else wants to message me for any reason please feel free. -Snic
DEBIAN, once you get the hang of it, I think the package manager, and the way it handles releases is the best. Run the stable release until your familiar with Linux, then run the unstable version after you get some time under your belt. Get an Debian book from Oreilly, that should get you on a good start on how to install and the major differences between it and other distros. But like everyone else, I recommend it because I use it. -Hawk
Mandrake or Debian? hmm... I'd have to go with Debian. My experiences of Mandrake are less than favorable I'm affraid. Hopefully a new HDD is on it's way :) -fearmyroot
debain is my favorite. I use knoppix to install it. yes you can install it to the harddrive. dont go near gentoo unless you want to totally geek out, keep in mind it will take well over a day to setup. that is because it optimizes every piece of software to your processor type? -SGTARKyTEK
I use Gentoo on my workstation. I like it, but I wouldn't really recomend it to someone that's just starting out. The learning curve is too steep. I've always suggested using Mandrake or Redhat (Fedora now) to people wanting to start out with it. This way they have the easy to use configuration with the point-and-drool interface for when they're just starting up, and they can still edit config files by hand if they're feeling bold. After that's mastered, switching to a "better" distro won't be such a slap in the face. -pcgod
So far I've tried Debian, and right now the only issue I have is no sound, but I think I will try Suse next. Heard nothing but good things about that one. -ShiftedBeef
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125.
Learn what you are selling....
Anyone else get these idiot salesholes that try to sell you something but have no idea what they sell? Case in point:
last week, I get a call from a nice young lady, she tells me that her company is a reseller for Dell. I tell her that I buy direct from Dell already. She tells me "Well, I'll bet I can save you money even though you buy direct." So I'm like, OK, here's the specs on a workstation I purchase a few times a year. Give me a price. As I give her the specifications, she has to stop me every 2 seconds with questions like: "What was that? 2.8 Gigabits?" ME: "No, 2.8 GigaHERTZ, that's the processer speed." Her: "Oh." Me: 30 Gigabyte Hdd" Her: "30 gigahertz?" Me: "NO!, 30 Gigabytes! the size of the harddrive!" Her: "Oh, anything else?" Me: Yea, 512MB of RAM" Her: "Hold on...512 Megas?" And on and on. She had NO concept of what she was selling. EVERYTHING was new to her. I won't be buying from her.
The next call I got today, actually a voice mail. I have the capability of exporting it to WAV and will try to get it on my website today for all to hear. It went something like this:
"Hello, Mr. Lugian. This is Kristin from MSI International and we have a software called PowershopCRC and we are wondering if you are happy with the software you are using or if you are looking elsewere. Either way, please give us a call back so we can waste your time...blah, blah....."
I mean, "they have a software" congratulations, you stupid bint! She never even let on what KIND of software or what it does. Just "We have a software" Really, does she NOT realize how freaking moronic she sounds.
Hell, I was in sales for 10 years of my life. It was outside sales so I was in front of the customer (mostly industrial chemical plants and power plants) every day. If I didn't know what my product was or how it fit into their process, I would get laughed out! Someone needs to make these salesholes understand how dumb they sound. I'm thinking of calling her back and making her cry......
[By: JoeLugian]
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Here's the file: www.geocities.com/tonym_1999/saleshole.wav -JoeLugian
She sounds way to perky for me to ever want to deal with, unless said dealing with includes a chainsaw and an icepick. -torgo
holy fsk o_0 -modeski
You know what I like most about AT&T's Legend and Merlin II systems? Nearly every phone had this little button on it that said "Drop". And when you pressed it, it would chirp at you and then disconnect the caller. Sure, you could just hang up normally, but it was so satisfying to hear the little chirp as the voltage went to 0 VDC and the circuit died. Oh, the things that entertain the phone geek. ;-) -OhioTech
Reminds me of the call I got from a satellite company offering me their digital TV packages, I told the saleswoman I work for Comc**t and I get free digital TV and Internet, she says even AFTER I said that that she can still offer me great deals, I said better than FREE? No she says but they're still GREAT deals, I bet she still hasn't gotten the point!! -Navman
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126.
Using Linux
I have taken that first step into another world...
Right now, I am using SLAX Linux (Live version on bootable CD) and Konqueror to post this! To me, Linux is very different and I feel like such a n00b. : )
Right now, trying to figure out how to install this on the hard drive as to speed up using the OS, right now it is slow due to waiting fro the CD to spin up and read data when it needs to.
If anyone wants to know what I am using, go to http://slax.linux-live.org and check it out. It's only a 180MB download ISO image....
[By: JoeLugian]
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i use knoppix alot. and it does have a hard drive install proceedure. -SGTARKyTEK
http://slax.linux-live.org/doc_install.php#inst2disk - or just get Slackware ISOs and install that directly. -namor
Welcome to Linux. <insert flame war on distributions> =). -seventh
Welcome to the linux community ! Happy configuring ! ;) -kennz
Most "Live CD" type Linuxes aren't really designed to be installed on a hard disk. You can do it, but it would probably be worth getting a distro that is designed for that (Red Hat, Mandrake, Debian, etc.). Good luck and welcome to the dark side <bg> -ThirdOfFive
If you want to run a distro from the hard drive, I agree with the others that you should get a distro designed for that. Personally, I'm really pleased with SUSE 9.2. I'm a Windows admin, and I've found the SUSE implementation of KDE to be very friendly and usable. -anonymanx
I've found that RedHat (Fedora Core) or Mandrake are good for beginners. Personally, I can't stand them, but then again, I like doing things the hard way. -pcgod
i'm your debian type - debian unstable:) but for just starting, try fedora, mandrake, or suse:) i'd probably head suse.... -timelady
Enjoy! I just finished setting up a KVM so I can switch from Linux computer to Windows computer. Learning to use Linux is one of my new year's resolutions. -Mango
Ahhh Slackware. Having played around with most of the common distro's, I found slack to be one of the best. Takes a bit of getting used to but :) Enjoy playing with the LiveCD, they're good for figuring out what goes where. -fearmyroot
Thank's, Everyone for your words of encouragement. Currently, I have Mandrake 9.2 and Debian on CD ready to install. Since more than one of you suggests Suse, I will be downloading it today.
-JoeLugian
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127.
Taking the Plunge....
..ok. So I saw an article in the latest issue of MaximumPC where the editor used only Linux for 6 months (totally foregoing all windows machines). I have always wanted to learn about Linux and tonight I make the first step: I am installing Debian right now......
I have no clue how this will end up because this is very new to me, I know absolutely NOTHING about Linux. Everyone, please wish me luck....
[By: JoeLugian]
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I've been swapping back and forth for a while now. If you want some pointers, I'm happy to help. -TheMage18
In November I set up my home PC to dual boot WinXP-Pro and SUSE 9.2 Pro. I use Linux 99% of the time, but still have Windows for job-related uses and to play a few games. KDE is a nicely done interface - you'll be fine. Just don't be afraid to reinstall, reconfigure, experiment... -anonymanx
Used Gentoo for a while for my main system... done Slackware before (from scratch to full desktop is a bit of a task). Ask in the forums for some stuff if you want. -namor
Been using Suse 9.1 and 9.2 pro fpr a game server here, and also dual booting with 9.2 and winXP. I agree with anonymax, you have to experiment with it to get used to linux, but it's worth it. Only reason I still use WinXP is to play some of the newer games out there, otherwise I'd be linux only here.
-AirForceTech
What a night! Got through the initial install and was installing/configuring packages. Since I have no idea what I am doing, I told it to install everything. While I watched what seemed to be thousands of lines of installing apps and modules, the HDD goes "FWING! SCRAPESCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE" and the install screen give me "/del/hda ERROR" lines scrolling by so fast it was almost blurry. Long story short, HDD damn near exploded during the install! Good thing it was an old 10GB I had laying around that I was using.....Oh well, Back to SLAX Linux (pocket sized OS on bootable mini CD for me!) -JoeLugian
Enjoyed the MaxPC article, also. I can only hope that Will keeps at least one Linux box on the side... Anywhoo, good luck with your plunge into Linux. I myself still don't know nearly all there is to know about Linux, and am always trying to further my knowledge of it. I subscribe to Linux Journal, which seems to have a well-rounded balance of Linux how-to's. Maybe someone else has some other suggestions on how to make the transition smoother. -LinuXtreme
I probably don't need to tell anyone this, but throw OpenOffice on there if you need to interact with Microsoft Office users. The only issue I've had with it in a year or two (on my older RH9 box and on my Windows machines) is that some Powerpoint operations don't translate properly. Otherwise, I can use files from any OpenOffice installation in any version of Microsoft Office I've used so far. -Jay911
If I can give no other advice (and, let's face it, I'm lazy so I probably won't), the two best resources for finding answers to your problems are http://www.google.com/linux and http://www.tldp.org/ (The Linux Documentation Project). The HOWTOs there are excellent. In 6 years of using linux exclusively as my main box it has very rarely let me down. -pcgod
i'm a debian dweeb of several years standing, i do installs weekly as prt of our project. email me if you need to:) and welcome to the funnest version of the best o/s ever! -timelady
oh, and for learning - your local LUG (linux users group). they usually have mail lists, and meetings:) oh, and giyf! -timelady
Joe, right there with ya. I installed Debian(?) on a virtualsystem in VMware.
Then I thought....i got a cursor, now what? anyone got an idea for study material? -Psudo
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128.
Is the server down??
God, that is my most HATED question from my users. Makes my frigging blood boil when ever I hear it.
So, yesterday at about 3pm, I get a call from one of our newer salesmen. Granted, he's not as computer literate as I'd like a user to be but he's smart and does what he's told when he has an issue.
"Good afternoon, IT" I say as I answer the phone. "Joe, hey it's Alfie".
Me: "hey, Alfie, what's up?"
Alfie: "Is the server down?"
A vein appears across my forehead and my eyes turn blood red as I put my fist through my solid wood desk.
Me: "Alfie, first of all, that question is the fastest way to piss me off. Please tell me, what CAN'T you do???"
Alfie: "Well, I am trying to get my e-mail and I get this error - cannot find server."
Me: "Aha, you can't get your e-mail. Ok, how is this computer connected to the internet?" (Some of our sales reps do have their own broadband cable or DSL or thay can use the dialup Earthlink account we provide for them)
Alfie: "I am using my Comcast cable connefction."
Me: "Great, let's make sure that it is working correctly. Can you get to the interent? Try going to www.google.com"
Alfie: "Ok. Hmmm. Oh, wait. I see. the Comcast is connected to my wife's computer, not mine."
Me: "If you are not connected to the internet, that would be why you cannot get your mail."
Alfie: "Allright, I got it. Sorry to bother you.."
Is is just me or does the phrase "Is the server down?" piss you guys and gals off as well?
[By: JoeLugian]
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yes, but usualy because it's asked by paper certs who will argue that there coudln't possibly be anything wrong on their end.... -leonine
Not any more because the POS server we use goes down all the time. -Taterlain
I often get 'Is there something wrong with the internet?' This pisses me off to no end. -steveO77
the one that gets me is "Is the internet down?"
-Newfie
"Is the internet/server down?" Absolutely HATE that phrase, either of them. Anyone who has ever seen the movie "Scanners" will be familiar with how I feel when that question gets asked... -hkypipe
For me it's either "it don't work" or "you don't know what you are talking about". -ShiftedBeef
"Yes, it is" *click* It gets them off the phone. -JH
"It no work, you fix" grips my shit. -lineswine
I hate it when they throw "Again?" at the end. We almost never have server/internet outages but to hear these ass clowns you'd think it happened every 15 minutes. -FrazzledAdmin
I hate that phrase. I normally tell them, "look next to you. Is the person next to you working?" The answer is normally yes. If the server were down, I tell them, the answer would be NO. -TechieSidhe
So is the server down or not. Sorry Joe but I am a sucker for a good beating. Especially after today 2 fiber lines cut and 1/2 of the eastern seaboard without Email. So LART up guys and dolls it's gonna be a long ride -Dangermouse
*grabs large baseball bat and...WHAM WHAM WHAM* Server's down now!!! hahahahahahahaha -JoeLugian
In a word? "Yes" -Amiga5000
I know that's one of scooby111's 'Must.. Control.. Fist.. Of.. Death!' phrases. Which is why I ask him that every chance I get. *grins* -NightSteel
The two I get are "Is Outlook down?" and "Is the Internet down?" I hate those two questions. On the second I always say "No, the Internet is not down. There may be a problem with our connection, though." -sassicatz
"Is the server down?" is a major peeve, but it's still behind "click it off". That one makes me foam at the mouth for some reason. -ShutUpAndHangUp
Either "No" *click* or "We have four thousand servers - which one are you interested in? -Geminii
I don't let that question bother me because its the one way I can find out if the server IS down. -Starfury
Yeah, that'll get my shorts in a wad quick...but I had a call one day "Is that server going to be down long?" I asked: "Which server?" "The one with the internet on it?" I shall scream until the blood comes from *MY* ears! -CiscoJones
I understand how it makes you all feel, but I think the problem lies in the error message provided: "Cannot find server" - Now I hate "friendly" error messages as much as most everyone else does, as I want to know what is going on in my system. But maybe you should be able to switch that on, the default being "Check your connection to the net" or something. -Jay911
Yes. I get pissy if I hear it. -rockytech
The only server I have ever seen go down was a really cute waitress. Maybe they are looking for the same one. -atomicbill
The one I hate the most is "Is the coast clear?" I don't understand why all these guys think I'm a weather man! Uh. BBunny? Honey? Why is that clueX4 in your hand? -Rabbitt
Not really; but then again most of my users don't ask that unless mult people at the office are having problems. And then it frequently IS the server. Or the switch. Or the router. -kman52000
I get "Is the internet down?" a few times per week. My answer is usually just to respond with "No, I can access it", and wait for the starfishies to clue in. -HidariMak
Yes... I almost ALWAYS get "Is (system) down tonight?" that ends up being the app is broke or they're stupid and can't login right. -TheMage18
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129.
I need help in a big way..
I am so sorry to post this here, I know that the Message Board would be the best place to do this but I need help fast:
I have a Windows XP Professional machine (SP1) that is jammed with spyware and trojans. The latest version of Spybot (1.31tx) with all updates says it's clean but in just a few minutes, the pop-ups appear again. Here's what I have done so far:
1. Installed Spybot S&D 1.31tx and all updates
2. Turned Off system restore
3. Ran Spybot S&D 3 times already, after each time, machine looks clean but Pop-ups come right back
4. Windows XP Firewall is running.
5. Updated and ran McAfee Virusscan - results seem to find no infections but I am not near the machine, it is in a remote site. More on this later.
Since this machine is not in my office, but a few hundred miles away, I usually use either Dameware or VNC to remote in to do what I need to. Both worked fine yesterday but today, neither work. The Kicker? I can't even PING the machine YET it has internet access and can see the rest of the network just fine (User can use Outlook / Exchange to get e-mail).
What in the hell can this be? I am at a loss. I tried having them sedn the machine to me to clean but since it houses the UPS and FED EX programs, thay cannot let it go, I have to fix it from here. Any ideas, I could sure use some...Thanks in advance.
[By: JoeLugian]
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CoolWebSearch -- use HijackThis to see what's being loaded. Most likely it's BHOs -- you can turn off Third-Party Browser Extensoins and sometimes that will allow you to clean things up. But it's gone low-level enough that you're likely to have to go to the site... or get someone with really good instruction-following ability to deal with it. Oh -- have you tried AdAware on it? Spybot misses a lot of things that Ad-Aware picks up. http://www.lavasoftusa.com for AdAware -- you want SE. -chazz
Also check the Add/Remove Programs Control Panel. I've seen things listed in there that Spyboy and Ad-Aware don't pick up but they can be uninstalled. -CoryB
Some of the newest forms of CWS and VX2 uses a hidden dll to run at startup, therefore it will try to recontaminate your machine, even in safe mode. Check registry and use the CWS hidden dll finder. Find the name of the dll(it's usually random) and delete it using the recovery console. -BayAreaTech
Depends on what you want the result to be. If you want to speed it up, I'd go into msconfig and clean it out. It also sounds like they have a firewall since you can't ping them. Delete the startup folder in the all programs listing will help too. Oh and running your anti spyware progs in safe mode might help too. -ShiftedBeef
Thanks, everyone. I have tried everything listed above except using AdAware. This will be my next step. I really want to know why I can't even PING the damn machine even though it has no problem seeing the network and works jsut fine (except for the pop-ups). -JoeLugian
We had a machine that got SP2 for XP installed on it and the defaults for the firewall and such shut it off from the network from us, but it was able to see everything just fine. Might want to check that as well. We have also seen VNC not work in some environments and other programs. -DesertDBA
You may want to check the registry HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE > SOFTWARE > MICROSOFT > WINDOWS > CURRENT VERSION > RUN and delete any keys that don't need to be there. I've found even after running the spyware killers stuff will linger. You can also look in the HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE > SOFTWARE section of the registry for leftovers of nasty programs. Worst case: backup all importnat data, nuke & pave. -Starfury
Try this. The newest mirical from microsoft....
http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyID=321cd7a2-6a57-4c57-a8bd-dbf62eda9671&DisplayLang=en For more information, look here http://microsoft.blognewschannel.com/index.php/archives/2005/01/06/microsoft-anitspyware-first-impression/
-Mathias
There are also some malwares that Adaware, etc. don't recognize or clean. Check what processes are running and Google any you don't recognize. You may have to clean some things manually. -sassicatz
check to see if the IP has changed. Also, if you have the firewall running you wont be able to ping it or use vnc unless you open the ports. -xtc46
May be a silly question, but is the target machine behind a firewall and that's why you can't ping it? -mccallister
check the services to see if "Messenger" is running. It's an MS app that allows network admins to send pop-up messages to users on their lan. Unfortunately, it's also become a wonderful little tool for jerk-offs to send unwanted pop-ups to targeted computers from the internet. If it's running, just disable it. -squatchie666
I've had Webroot's Spy Sweeper find things that Spybot and Adaware missed. Look in ALL the Temp directories (especially user one), seen crapware leave it're reinstall there. -nursejoan
Wow, all great suggestions. Thanks guys and gals. To answer a few questions: This particular machine is not behind a firewall, I can ping and get to all other machines at the site, just not this one. I checked the IP address, it hadn't changed. I would disable the messanging service but, as the network admin, I actually use it and the popups are Internet Explorer windows, not messenger boxes. This is a real head scratcher. Tomorrow I am going to try the new Beta version of Microsoft's Spyware killer, the updated versions of Hijack This and CW shredder and clearng all temp caches. Thanks everyone!! -JoeLugian
Start with HijackThis. Run it from its own folder, to keep your file structure clean. Then run it again and see if anything has managed to reinstall itself. Failing that: Try HKLM (or HKCU)-Software-Microsoft-Internet Explorer - Main. I found some lines of corruption in that key that made it re-infect itself each time IE was used IF it was connected to the Internet. If FireFox was used, or the ethernet cord was out, there was no change. Took me 5 freakin' days to solve it. Also check the SOFTWARE sub-hives for obvious crap entries (name is that of some spyware, values inside tend to be strings of 2-char HEX values. Haven't translated successfully yet, but I know that when they're gone the re-infection stops. GOOD LUCK! -CTYankee
start with ad aware, then try to use hijackthis. also try to get hold of cwshredder at www.spywareinfo.com -slowANDeasy
You might try the winsockfix tool I've had that work on a couple severly hijacked units. Also I've had to disable the system restore to kill some of the little hijackers. -spudstatetech
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130.
Slow...
Anybody else notice TSC was running extremely slow for about an hour?
[By: JoeLugian]
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yes....slow to non responsive. It happened yesterday too. -leonine
It has been rather intermittent both today and all day yesterday, ever since the power problem/restore. Hawk is doing the best that he can, I'm sure, to keep the site up and running. Thanks Hawk for all of the great work!!!!!!!!!!!!! -ecoli
The server tried to contemplate zombies, goats, and a japanese sexual act at the same time. -TechieSidhe
Yea i see its running slow aswell, but unlike our customers i wont neep at Hawk. He provides a great service to us at little to no cost! -Servo
I just thought it was the work station. -persephone
I wanted to make sure It wasn't just me. I feel better that I now know other's were having the same issue. Thanks. : ) -JoeLugian
leonine, you just described my first wife to a tee...
-TeamWolfguard
Thanks TechieSidhe, now where is that bottle of brain bleach and a funnel??? -ecoli
teamwolfguard - lmfao, better luck w/ the next one. -omegawolf
actaully all the servers resources were occupied trying to make a cup of tea </bad hhgttg reference> -DedSysOp
Zombie Goats Perform Japanese Sex Acts, page 4. I may need a magnifying glass for this one. -clockkingfl
It's beacuse all you people keep using _my_ TSC bandwidth. (unlock the door or there will be splatted maciarc all over the front of the LART shelter!) -maciarc
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132.
I love being the hero....
So I get a call from a customer of my Dad's, she has a PC that for some reason will not connect to the internet via her DSL connection. She tells me that she's contacted her DSL provider and verified that the modem is online and working properly, still not able to browse the internet or get e-mail.
She then tells me that she did have anotehr "tech" out to work on it but wasn't able to get it working, he installed Norton Antivirus and personal firewall, then uninstalled them when he was still unable to get to the internet. All in all, he charged her over $100 and STILL did not fix a damn thing!
Enter Joe (me). I take a look at the machine (1.5 year old E-machine - Celeron 1.8Ghz, 128MB ram, 40GB hdd, Windows XP Home) Not too bad, she's had it for all this time but never rally used it until recently (had sick relatives, 2 jobs, no time to dedicate to using her PC, now relative died, she has only one job and things are better).
The first thing I notice is that it's extremely slow. Even after Boot up, it never seems to be ready to be able to do anything. I try to open Taskmanager and, after 5 minutes (no exaggeration) it opens up and there are, literaly, 60-70 processes running!. I try to kill the ones I KNOW are trojans, spyware, etc but they keep coming back as soon as I kill them. I tell her that this PC is really laden with Spyware and trojans and, if she has no important data, a nuke and pave would be the easiest thing to do. She tells me that she's never even done anything on it, hell, there isn't anything in her MyDocuments folder! Just then, I get the "Your computer will shut down in 1 minute" box. Holy crap! the sasser worm? that thing still around? No I KNOW I want to do a restore since I don't have mny sasser fix with me
So I get out the restore disks (as this is an e-machine, it's nothing more than a Ghost image) Get it reinstalled and plug in the DSL modem. Freshm install, right? Should be good to go, right> WRONG! Immediately I get AGAIN "Your computer will shut down in 1 minute". I like WTF?? This is SP1! Does the damn restore image have the Sasser worm? Can't be. So I unplug the DSL modem and reimage the computer a second time. After it reinstalls, I Install Norton Antivirus 2004 (she had purchased it earlier) and Service Pack 2. THEN plugged in the DSL> modem. All works great.
What get's me is that this so called "tech" couldn't even see that this computer had spyware and trojans galore and just left it. I hate wannabe's....
[By: JoeLugian]
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Latest test results show that an unprotected/unpatched XP SP1 machine will be infected in 4 minutes or less of being put online. And I'd be hauling that other "tech" into small claims court for that $100. -RiffRaff
Definately "small claims" the other tech. I reinstalled a PC with clean XP/SP1, no AV no Firewall, and, in a moment of lucid idiocy, connected it to the internet. As Emirel would say :BAM: Sasser. Okay, lesson learned (this time). -ecoli
I've heard of an unprotected computer being infected in minutes but I'd never thought I'd actually see it happen before my eyes. I thought sasser was dead anyway. Boy was I wrong! ; ) -JoeLugian
Saw that article, pretty impressive/scary. http://tinyurl.com/5y7tc -redevil34
The simplest thing to do when you are reinstalling XP and don't have the latest patches is to simply turn on the XP firewall. As crappy as it may seem, the XP Firewall stops the MSBlast and Sasser (and variants) from infecting the machine. -snJimboip
I think a better course of action is NOT to rely on M$ to keep Windows secure. Go with third party products. A good software firewall, up-to-date virus protection, and don't use IE for browsing (insert obligatory Mozilla Firefox plug here), is a very good start. -Wraith556
Go one more step, Wraith. Install Linux. -maciarc
Unfortunately, for gaming it is a Windows world. -Wraith556
Sasser / Blaster will *never* die. And I've seen it happen a hundred times (hey we're onli.......crap what's this all about?" -Phssstpok
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134.
Selling a computer? Make sure you......
...remove all personal items FIRST.
A little backstory: I do some PC work on the side - Virus/spyware removal, home network setup, basic troubleshooting. You get the idea.....
True story, happened today:
Yesterday, my boss comes to me and asks "Do you want to do a side job for my stepdad? He just bought a used Dell laptop from ebay and needs it nuked and paved. The previous owner left some pretty graphic images of HERSELF in the MyDocuments folder!!! Check them out!"
So, morbid curiosity gets the better of me and I go looking. Oh my frigging GOD! She is a BEAST of a woman. 300+ pounds, hairy, and ugly. TONS of "webcam" shots of herself and a few sent to her (obviously) by a few male acquaintences (none of which had anything to brag about, if you know what I mean).
So, after I get done with puking, I start to nuke and pave the machine - knowing I am doing the world a favor by erradicating the planet of these horrible images. (Sorry, didn't keep any. ;)
[By: JoeLugian]
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Sounds like they bought that PC from my ex-wife. ;) -Amiga5000
LOL @ Amiga5000 - you crack me up.
-jard
So, it was a puke and pave, then? -RiffRaff
I was teaching this SF how to set up a password on an app we use. She put in "bbw". O_O -modeski
VERY familiar story. You won't imagine how many people trade-in PCs with porn on them. -ch41nbr8kr
Sounds like she made a "huge" mistake! But it was "big" of her to leave them for you to see!<runs like hell to the bad pun LART shelter> -rokitt
Riff: You beat me to it :) -Armakuni
It's like a traffic accident. Sometimes, you can't NOT look. -teivrann
sounds like something to add to CD's disgusting porn references (obese zombie goat bukkake) -leonine
Leonine - obese shit-eating zombie goat bukkake...(grossed anyone out yet?) -CommanderData
Tell me the StepDad left some serious negative feedback?? guuuuuuuuuuh... /cringe -mousie
She probably has her own website. In fact I think I've seen it (tubgirl.com). </Goes to rub glass into eyes> -scooby111
Thank you for NOT keeping any. Beauty may be only skin deep but ugly goes clear to the bone. -atomicbill
Umm... CD, I understand that "shit-eating" is not a term used in porn site descriptions. I understand that the equivalent term is "scat". So that would be zombie goat scat bukkake... and now I'll go wash my mind out with bleach. -chazz
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135.
What the hell is your laptop for???
Ok, so 2 months ago the company I work for purchases 55% of another company along with two other inventors. To prepare for this, I was put in charge of purchasing Desktops and laptops for the entire office and salesforce as the previous owners of this company decided to take all assets with them. (all we got was people, desks, offices and inventory. NO other assets.)
I was asked by the two new partners, when ordering their computers, to get for them laptop's along with docking station and 17" LCD monitors so when they were in the office, they could dock and use the network without having to re-attach tons of cables. No problem. I order them what they wanted.
I contact Dell and get them Sweet 2.8Ghz Latitude D505's 512MB RAM, DVD/CDRW drive, 60GB HDD, Built in WiFi. I mean these things are SA-WEET! They arrive, I configure them for in office and well as out of office internet connectivity (new earthlink dial up accounts and terminal server clients.) This was done 2 months ago.
Today one of these owners is at our corporate site for a few meetings. He comes into my office and says this:
"Joe, is there a computer around that I can use to check my e-mail?"
"Sure, but where is your laptop? I have it configured so you could just plug it into our network here and get your e-mail like you normally do using Outlook."
"My laptop? I didn't bring it. I hate carrying it around. too much trouble."
WTF do you mean "too much trouble" ?? We spend $3000k+ to get you a kick ass laptop computer, go through the trouble of configuring it so you can get online and work from WHEREVER you are in the fucking world but you can't be arsed to carry it around?? WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU WANT THE LAPTOP FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE?????
Am I out of line to let this piss me off? Jesus H Christ! I cannot believe these people exist. This guy makes a shitload of money and is part owner of a 20 million dollar a year business yet he doesn't see the advantages of having a portable computer. Geeze, I can't believe this! The other partner uses his laptop like he should. Brings it down here when he comes in for meeting, takes it home, on business trips, etc. Why can't this guy??
[By: JoeLugian]
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Because the other guy is the brains of the outfit? -flapjackboy
owner=right to be incompitent? -xtc46
Why don't you recommend MandrakeMove at your next meeting? It'll solve their issues and will not require them to lug a notebook everywhere. -ch41nbr8kr
Joe, after meeting you at the gather, I can just hear your voice yelling! LOL -TechieSidhe
Yo Joe. you could always "Donate" said laptop to a good home. you knwo the adopt a laptop plan -Dangermouse
If the other partner is cool, see if you can get him to start making fun of the SF partner. Peer pressure might where where logic fails. -VIPERsssss
Yes, you're right to be pissed off at this. Not because "he doesn't see the advantages of having a portable computer", but because he specifically requested such an expensive item, with clearly no need to use it. -karlata
Vipersssss, that is a good idea. The other partner has a good sense of humor. i think I will try that! TechieSidhe, Yes I was so damn mad that I had to into my boss' office and close the door to rant. He just laughed and said "I see your point and agree with you" there just isn't anything we can do about it. -JoeLugian
Joe, please refer to our previous employer... let me refresh your memory.. the company president who demanded a laptop and never took it anywhere. Morons, they are. -Bradford
Funny thing, Bradford, that this isn't a from our former employer. This happened TODAY! Frigging unbelieveable! -JoeLugian
D505's are OK, but I love my D800. The 128MB graphics card is worth the money. Just tell him no and order him a desktop. It's not like it's out of your budget. -scooby111
BTW, I just picked up that phrase somewhere, no idea to whom the original credit belongs... -namor
If he doesn't want that laptop, let me know if it has a serial port and MS Office 2K3 and XP Pro on it. -cecil36
One word. Craig! haha (joe will know) -Chronotis
usually they have a butt-boy or admin assistant or what ever they call it that carries the laptop for them right? -SGTARKyTEK
Replace the laptop with an etcha-sketch and see if they notice. -Wraith556
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137.
NT OT - Which should I buy?
Hello all!
I am thinking about buying a console for most of my gaming needs (I will still use my PC for some games) and am wondering which Console offers the most bang for my $149.99: the Xbox or Playstation 2?
I like the Playstation 2's controller and it seems to have more games plus I can play my older PS1 games on it. On the otherhand, the Xbox touts better graphics and HALO / HALO 2!
So, whick one is the favorite of the folks here at TSC?
[By: JoeLugian]
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Buy both, power up the dremal and get yourself some paddle bits and an all in wonder; find a full size tower and goto work. I'm currently putting in a GC, PS2 gen 2, and xbox not to mention a decent system in the same case. ;) -nullroot
GCN with Super Smash Bro's Melee -Lehk
Joe, in making your decision, consider what company you're supporting when you buy. -NightSteel
check out the Crystal X-Box. For 249.99 CAD, you get the limited edition Crystal X-Box, Fable, Crimson Skies and I believe XBOX Live free for x months. XBOX's graphical potential is greater. -Bunglehawk069
Get an XBox, chip it, stick in a 200Gb drive, and link it into your network. Makes an *excellent* media centre cos you can play divx/dvd/rm/any format basically from your computer without using any of its processing power. -modeski
PS2 is better imho. It all depends on the type of games you perfer to play really. -Taterlain
Don’t you just love TSC recommendations? Sometimes I can’t tell if people are kidding or if they really did figure out Nuclear Fusion. Buy the PS2. -mellowfellow
My understanding is that there are more games for PS2. PC is actually the better gaming platform, though -- PS2 is necessarily hobbled by being old tech. I understand also that MS has said XBox 2 will not play XBox games. If I were a hardcore gamer -- I'm not, don't have the time for it -- I'd spend the money on a Radeon or nVidia card. -chazz
the easy way to compare (i own a ps2 and a cube myself) check out games you want that only come for one system or the other. if a lot of games only come for Xbox go that route (there are only 2 games out that i want to play that are xbox only and i rarely play my PS2 right now anyway) the other advantage, you can rip music into the Box and play to whatever soundtrack you want. -rhiannon
that's just it, Chazz, I am trying to get myself out of spending $2000+ dollars on a new system 9I tend to buy the best of the products out there) and get me a console that will quench my thirst fro games. There is no way I am spending $2500 on a new pc with 3+ GHZ proc, 1GB ram, 200+GB HDD, and a ATI Radeon x800 or nVidia 6800GT to play Doom3. Screw that. My PC is fast enough for everything I do EXCEPT play games. Why should I fork out thousands for a system and a Vid card that will be obsolete in a year. $150 for a console is much more affordable. : ) -JoeLugian
Oh, I do plan to upgrade my PC in the next year or so, I just don't have the cash for my dream system now, but I want to play games now... -JoeLugian
I tend to base my game console decisions on the games I like to play and what are out / will be coming out for the console. In this case the PS2 made the most sense since I am an RPG junkie, have small hands (I'd have to replace the Xbox controller), and my reflexes in FPS are craptacular. Xbox just doesn't have enough games that I want to play to warrant the purchase. -Sien
Ps/2 for gaming, xboxes make a good media server (apart from the bloody thing frying my 60gb deathstar) - but i'm not a console man, so plase take above with a tsp of salt. -trs998
I like my Xbox and games for it, but I'm not a huge gamer. PS2 has some nice stuff, though, but it's limited, to me. And if you like to play - check out the mods, like XBMC (Xbox media center) - if I can get wireless to the thing, I'll be trying to get it to play movies from my file server. -namor
PS2 online is free, you have to pay to use xBox online. Plus I just like PS2 better. That's what I reccomend. -JH
my favorite console is my nintendo gameboy advance SP. It's pocketsized, excellent battery life, and has an awesome library. Here's a hint on buying a system: Everyone has their favorite, but when it comes down to it, it's aallll about the games. Check the games for the systems, buy the one that has the most games you think you'd like or would like to play. -CarbonTetra
I agree. XBox is great if you want to hack it and add to it. PS2 is great for simplicity and control. GC is good for playing with your buddies on simple games. GBA SP is Shiznit on the go. -MaskedMarauder
it all depends on what games you like, if not at least try to find friends that have what system you like. -RandalGraves
Neither of the above. Buy a powerkite & get some fresh air, exercise & scare the livin' shit out of yourself at the same time - wheeeeee! </not a gamer> -lineswine
I've heard there is an issue with PS2 and dual-layer DVDs. Sometimes they won't play at all. Other times they might not play the 2nd layer. A 15 or 18 month, or even a 2 year old system, just has to update the graphics card. The "plain" 6800s have plenty of power, and cost two-thirds of a GT, and about half an Ultra. The extra power of the 6800 GT/Ultra is not worth the extra cost. Doom3, FarCry, UT2004, HALO, BF1942 and many other games run great. -Wraith556
PS2 for the great Kids games (Tech Ogre Jr. is Goofy Golf addict) and older games. -TechOgre
The XBox has the better lineup of sports, racing, and FPS titles, while the PS2 has the better selection of 3D platformers and Japanese-styled RPGs. The "official" PS2 online strategy is free, but includes dialup users, and there are free alternatives to each. The PS3 is supposed to be fully backwards compatible, while Microsoft is reportedly working on making the XBox2 backwards compatible (with the former video card provider dragging their heels, and neither unreleased system having official specs yet). XBox is moddable with a very large number of homebrew projects, and includes a hard drive and support for the hard drive in its games. Most XBox games support 5.1 sound and a larger percentage of them compared to the PS2 support HDTV display, whereas the PS2 doesn't. If you don't know what your personal list of "must have" games is for each system (www.gamerankings.com may help), hopefully what's here should. -HidariMak
Halo 2 is goregous! -areatech
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138.
A Shout out to TechiSidhe and Clockkingf
Hello! The gathering is almost upon us! Will you guys be joining us Saturday? TechieSidhe, you promised us baklava!!!
Remember, we have changed the location. (Hooters on 98N at I4 at 11:00am) Please e-mail me if you need directions.
Hope to see you both there!
[By: JoeLugian]
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I know! LOL I'm gonna do that Friday night... I'll be at the Hooters with bells on! -TechieSidhe
TechieSidhe are you going to have bells on your...never mind (runs away) -Starfury
He said Hooters. Imma be there gettin my cold on -Dangermouse
I am so glad you will make it. So far the list goes like this: Myself, Ecoli, Chronotis, Dangermouse, Objekt404, Normntaz, and TechieSidhe. Just need Clockkingfl to show and everyone that showed initial interest will be there! C'Mon Clockkingfl!! -JoeLugian
FRAG! I hate being this far north. :( I wish I could make it there. -MaskedMarauder
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139.
Ok, Who's In for the TSC Central FL BBQ?
I'm trying to get a list of names for the BBQ on Novenber 6th here in Lakeland. If you are planning on attending, please post a comment to this post. Here's a list of members I know are coming:
JoeLugian (myself)
Ecoli
Chronotis
So far, that's it. I am pretty sure TechiSidhe is going to make it (and bring Baklava!) and I think Objekt404 is planning on atending but I havent heard any definates from them yet.
So, please, if you will be joining us, let us know. We would love to have everybody attend.
If anyone from out of the area wants to attend, please let me know and I can help arrange accommodations.
Thank you for your attention. I now return you to the regularly scheduled programming here on TSC. ;)
[By: JoeLugian]
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I can offer my place if someone wants to come in and stay. -TechieSidhe
If I am over this Flu i'll be there. This is Florida, it's not supposed to get cold here. Ugh <achoo> please take a sanitary wipe now -Dangermouse
If I could, I surely would, get to that barbeque like all techs should...</bad aerosmith ripoff> -HappyCrappy
Yeah, I got a couch I can loan out if the return trip is too much. -ecoli
I'm sure I can make it. -clockkingfl
This is great! so far I have 7 definates! Is there anyone else that can join us? -JoeLugian
I will be there! :) -Chronotis
I think Eggshen hinted he might be coming the other day <eg>. Pity I'm an ocean away, or I'd come. -Splunge
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141.
Yay! I'm a star!!!
Ok, So I finally broke down and bought me a star membership. So, how does it look? (just waiting for the Hugh Jass jokes).Oh, and just a remonder that Ecoli and I have started the signup for the Central Florida TSC BarBQue! We are hoping that all members in our area (and even some from OUT of our area) will be able to atend. Open to everyone so please, join us if you can! Map and direction can be found at www.mongiello.net! Hope to see you there!!!
[By: JoeLugian]
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Holey Shit would you look at the size of his...... star. ;-) Congrats man, welcome to the celestial spheere! -wolfprince
You butt stinks more now that it's larger -mccallister
welcome to the celestial spheere! -THETECHFROMHELL
Hope to see ya'll there! :) -EggShen
honey why are you concered with the size of his......oh i understand. -rhiannon
hmmm, does this mean the infamous EggShen will be at the BBQ?!?! Geez, if I lived in the US, I'd be there just to see the fireworks! -Splunge
Lovely Star! Welcome to the club! -Tekkie
Thanks, everyone. It feels great! :) -JoeLugian
Great looking star Joe. Welcome to the real galaxy. -Rabbitt
Well, ya know, Splunge, I can bring my practice katanas (wooden)...there would not be fireworks, but.... -TechieSidhe
As previously stated, I'm no longer doing the huge ass schtick... welcome to lighting the path out of the darkness... -HappyCrappy
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142.
WEP and WPA N/S, need advice
Any wireless techs out there? What is the difference between WPA ans WEP? Is there a way to make it so that a potentioal user on my wireless network can enter a password to gain access to the woreless network? The idea of a 26 digit HEX 128bit encryption key will do doubt confuse the hell out of my users. What is teh best/easiest way to secure a wireless network so that not anyone driving past with a sniffer or wireless network card can find and hop on my network? Thanks in advaance for any and all help.
[By: JoeLugian]
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unplug it and use cable :P *runs away* -modeski
(clarification: unplug power from AP) -modeski
/waves LART "You'd better run!!!" : ) -JoeLugian
Securing a wireless network is impossible - for that matter, securing a wired network is impossible. But, to answer your question as best I can, use 128-bit WEP and filter by MAC address. Also turn off broadcasting and that's about as good as you're going to get. At least in my limited knowledge. FWIW, that's the way I have my wireless setup at home. -CoryB
Thanks for the response, Cory. For WEP, using my Linksys WRT54G wireless router, I used it to "generate" a 128bit key using a passcode. The key is a 26 digit HEX code. I have to put that into the config of the wireless card in the client computer, right? I was hoping there was a way to use a simple password instead of HEX code... -JoeLugian
http://tinyurl.com/4tw4n seemed like a good place to start. Google + WPA vs. WEP revealed a lot of information. -devzero
Just cruising through my little hometown of about 30,000 I was able to detect dozens of wireless APs. Half were unsecured and about a third still used "linksys" as their name. Given the easy availability of wireless APs, you don't need to worry about some random wardriver looking for a little free bandwidth. -nuqlar
128-bit wep is fine for commercial applications and public networks. If you want true security, use WPA. It uses a rotating key and hasn't been broken yet. There are a couple of commercial applications out there that can help you with your password question. For the most part, they are complicated systems that require a couple of QOS queues. -scooby111
you can use a plain txt key instead of hex. you can use 64 bit encryption. you can post the details on flyers round the neighbourhood too;) seriously - wpa really good but not yet supported by all hw. wep with mac filtering is your best bet..... -timelady
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143.
NS - Quick question:
What utilities/programs does everyone use to combat Viruses and spyware? I currently employ AdAware6, Spybot 1.3, CWShredder and HiJackThis, along with AVG virus scanner (Or McAfee or Norton if it's installed on the infected machine) The reason I ask is because I have a couple of machines that I cannot seem to clean. Viruses and Trojans keep coming back. Both are Windows XP machines and have the latest updates (Except SP2, haven't gotten around to getting it installed on them). What else is out there and what else is better than what I am using? Thanks for any and all advice.
[By: JoeLugian]
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testing out a app called Prevx ( http://www.prevx.com ) which is the reason for my forum post about good sites to test it on, still not sure how good it is if at all -s0nix
Remember to turn off System Restore -satanstech
Spybot 1.3 and Spywareblaster 3.2 on a fresh install seem to be everything I need... -teivrann
Norton 2001 AV (I have yet to be infected with a virus while running NAV), AdAware 6.0 and SpyBot 1.3 as regularly scheduled maintenance. I keep HijackThis on hand in case I need it, but so far I've only had to use it on other people's computers. I also keep an updated version of F-Prot AV for DOS on hand at all times. -RiffRaff
AVG - Adaware - Pest Patrol : That seems to keep me good.
-jard
Firewall? -ecoli
adaware has a new SE version. You might want to try that if you still have version 6 -LiQUidICicle
AVG, Ad-Aware, SpyBot. General computer competence works well. -Bunglehawk069
I have had some machines that Adaware and Spybot could not clean completely. I have gone as far as slave the HDD and search for *.dll and then deleted ones that would not delete before. This generally does the job. I have also deleted the wrong .dll so be careful. -Rabbitt
Both of my personal machines are running XP with SP2. Both have Spybot and AdAware, one has Norton 2003 (NAV and the firewall) and the other AVG 6. -Jay911
www.pestscan.com is good. ALSO....
haven't seen a tool for it yet, but there are some spyware (?) keys showing up in the Registry that are a bunch of pairs of digits/chars (only A-F...Hmmmmmmm)...I haven't written a program to puzzle them out yet, but (after backing up the registry, then deleting them from the live registry) have been able to cure some serious problems by deleting them. I think they're spyware keys entered as ASCII code numbers. -CTYankee
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144.
I GOT ONE!!! (NS)
I wa talking to a buddy of mine last night and got him to send me an invite to GMail!! Woo! I'm in!
[By: JoeLugian]
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I've been trying to give mine away to friends and all... usually goes like this: "You want a gmail account?" Friend: "What's gmail?" Me: "WHAT?" <sigh> Seems only techs really know or want so much... -namor
And not even all techs. I mean, you haven't seen me with my hand out, eh? I have six email accounts now, thankyouverymuch, and with my own email server (or two, or three) on line I don't need Google's gigabyte of storage in exchange for them reading my mail. -chazz
Good For You. -paranoidepiphan
Sucker! -billybien
i've had a g-mail account for 2 days. How do you get invites? My inbox has been empty since I opened the account. -LiQUidICicle
You know, I don't know what the fuss is all about. With my SBC account, I have 2G storage, spam filtering, web mail access, etc. Add POP3 access to the account and I have as much storage as I've got blank CD/DVDs. Well, I guess we all have to have something to strive for... <g> -virtualchoirboy
damm you all !!! I want one :'( *crys* like a luser waiting to be LARTed -s0nix
just managed to get a Gmail account thanks to fellow TSC member, if I get any invite going, I'll post on the new messge board -StuffT
I got a gmail account solely for bragging rights. It's not like I'll use it for anything other than TSC anyway :-) and I have 2 domains of my own with an technically infinite number of incing email addresses and any number I wish to set up of outgoing email addresses. -OgdenTechGuy
one of my linux buddies offered some, and i got one! which i promptly created in my husband's name, as a pressie:))) i'll get one at some point, but my dude deserved something nice more... -timelady
A nice gmail account would seal my geekness. :) -Wolffarmer
a friend of mine sent me an invite for gmail yesterday ... i'll let you guys know when i am able to invite -melsie
I would take a GMail account...if anyone happens to "find" one about thats not being used -Crashville
I gotta say I agree with Chazz. -snowcrash
Ditto - I agree also with Chazz & Snowcrash, myself alone (6 accts including 2 on my own domain server). To much work - *sigh* -GuruTechy
Hmm.. Although I have my own domain, my own server etc.. for some reason there's a sort of attractiveness to the idea of being in early on the whole gmail thingie.. The possibility of having a good @gmail adress y'ken.. *coughs*
-shayera
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145.
I need a little help (NS)
Sorry to be posting something like this here but I am at the end of my rope. I think I have a Frame Relay problem but my carrier can'r seem to find the problem. I only find out about the problem when my remote site calls me and tells me that they were "kicked out of the computer again". Is there a utility that will activly ping a remote subnet or a remote IP address and log any inturruptions in the connection? I could really use something like this to figure out if my Frame connection is going down or if I have another network problem. Thanks in advance for any and all advice!
[By: JoeLugian]
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Windoze: "ping -t [I.P.] > pinglog.txt" Realos(unix) "ping [I.P.] > pinglog" -Dj
Thanks, DJ. I was hoping to run something all day to see if the frame did go down. How big do you thing that pinglog.txt file would get if I ran it for 8 hours? Can you set the interval of how long between pings? -JoeLugian
On unix, you could pipe it through gzip, "ping [I.P.] | gzip -9c > pinglog.gz". Sadly windows zip can't do that (That I've bothered to find out, since I use CygWIN), but either way it should produce less than 10MB/hour anyway. As to the delay, unix ping accepts a "-i [seconds]" switch, Windoze dosn't. If you absoulutely *must* add a delay under Win, I'll happily email a .bat to do that for you. -Dj
DJ, I would *love* that .bat file. I downloaded an eval version of Intermapper, thinking nit would help. It's a pretty cool program but fairly complex. I am trying to learn it between putting outr fires here. Thanks! -JoeLugian
The ping solution is a good hack. For a more long term solution try nagios (nagios.org) on a cheap linux box. It's been a life saver for me. My boss think's I'm phychic. -VIPERsssss
Dammit. I keep forgetting how bland dos is. There was a command under dos 6.x that I could use to delay for x seconds (choice), but it is no longer included with current versions. (I once created a menu with screen-saver using this). Unless you are willing to use a 3rd party wait/sleep command, there is not much I can do. If you can't go linux, but want unix power, get CygWin. Wooo. Er... do you have perl or something already on this pc? -Dj
sleep is in the Windows reskits. You can download some resource kits for free off the MS site. The bat file is basically four lines: ":head", "ping [ip] >>logfile", "sleep [msec]", "goto head". Ping will create about 60-80 chars per ping, this batch file tries 4 times per iteration; you can do the math. You might want to replace this with tracert (for Windows) or traceroute (for Linux); that will tell you _where_ it's breaking, but will take more time doing so. Syntax: "tracert [ip]" -chazz
I've often used DJ's solution, Joe, but never for long enough to discover the filesize limit. Worth a try though.. -Gromit
You can always just put it in your ping command "ping -t -w 20000 > pinglog.txt". That will wait 20 seconds between pings. You can also just run a scheduled job to test every so often and run 500 pings. Just when you do, use the append to log function ">> pinglog.txt". In any case, an 8-hour pinglog will only grow to several hundred kilobytes in size. You can also set up a batch job to do it all and even timestamp it for you. Post this on the message board and I can give you the syntax.
-scooby111
Or Whiteboard me and I'll send you a link.
-scooby111
Sorry, scoob, but -w is a timeout, not a wait. it will still ping at 1 second intervals if it can. and chazz, I had something slightly better to produce just one line per iteration it looks odd but: "ping -n 1 [I.P]|find "Re"|find /V "Sent"" and also add "echo. | time|find "current"" to include timestamps. Like I said before, this will produce about 10MB/hour at 1-second samples. -Dj
Guys, I can't thank you enough for all the suggestions. I never thought of the batch file, that's a great idea to have a single ping loop after a short wait, more of what I had in mind. Right now, I am using an eval version of InterMapper. It's a network monitoring application that is doing what I want and a lot more. I am having a hard time figuring out how to use it, but I can see if and when the link dies. Right now, it is showing the link up for 21 hours. That is exactly how long it's been since the frame actually did go down yesterday at 4:20pm. (Hmm, went down at 4:20pm... weird...) : ) -JoeLugian
there is a program called look@LAN that may help, i don't remember if it did logging but i would imagine it would http://www.snapfiles.com/get/lanlook.html -Lehk
http://www.tools4ever.com/products/free/freeping/ -Packet
Thank you Lekh and packet! Those are great tools and I'm using both right now. Thanks again, everyone!! -JoeLugian
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146.
The case of Firefox and the disappearing
...bookmarks. Sound slike a bad episode of Scooby doo. Anyway, has anyone had this happen to them yet? Yesterday in Mozilla Firefox, I had a slew of bookmarks. I've been usng Firefox for at least 6 weeks now ans never had a problem with it. This morning I open Firefox, click Bookmarks and they are all gone! I have no clue what happened. No weird crashes, no new programs installed. Anyone else experience this?
[By: JoeLugian]
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I've been using Firefox for several versions now and never had this happen. Only problem I've had is the odd page that is written for IE only and won't display properly in Firefox. -Gerund
Nope, not had that happen yet. However, similar experiences with IE have gotten me in the habit of backing up such things, so even if I do lose them, it will only be for as long as it takes me to import them back into Firefox from the backup file. -RiffRaff
I haven't experienced that yet because like Riff, I've had that happen enough with IE I'm not leaving anything to fate. Check out MozBackup... good for backing up Mozilla, Firefox, and Thunderbird profiles... -teivrann
I've had that happen once on my home machine. I now export them to a file for backup. My work machine has working favicons which occasionally disappear for no reason apparent reason. -CelticSkyhawk
Dear Sir. I have your bookmarks. Send me 10,000,000 dollars in unmarked bills by four o'clock tomorrow or, every ten minutes, I will chop off a toe and mail it to your loved ones. We are serious. </ransom note> -DracoSuave
Are you possibly logged on under a differant id? -WinterWolf
I had that happen onece... pissed me off. Now I back up my FF bookmarks >:-| -Coward
Firefox bookmarks are stored in at c:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles\default%\bookmarks.html – This is the default Firefox profile path. If it got corrupted, or another profile was loaded, they could be gone. If you see more than one profile, just copy the correct bookmarks.html to the other one. -scooby111
Did anyone else hear Dr. Evil in their head when reading DracoSuave's comment? :) "One millllion dollars!" -Jay911
Did you go into a different user account? That would make your bookmarks gone. -MGNLucifer
I have had this happen to me with both Mozzilla and Firefox. What I did was make sure the browser was closed BEFORE I let my wife switch user profiles to her Email. I also backup my bookmarks occasionally. -BionicHobbit
No, I wasn't logged in under a different ID. It was very strange, All I did was reboot! -JoeLugian
My bookmarks went poof when I went from firefox .8 to .9.3, but to my happyjoyjoy I found them in a directory next to the profile directoy..
In my case :
c;\documents and settings\[username]\Application Data\phoenix
I think phoenix here is a nod to the phoenix bird rising from the ashes really :) -shayera
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147.
Firefox .9 FIRESOMETHING
Anyone use this cute little plugin for Firefox? It changes the name on the title bar randomly each time you start the application or open a new window. This morning I started Firefox and the titlebar says: " TSC-Tech Support Comedy! - Mozilla PowerStarfish" ?? Power Starfish?? Oh jeeze....
[By: JoeLugian]
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IF you put in any address it'll default to the nearest (relative) pr0n site : ) Starfish internet, We KNOW what you really want! -Cooki3
I use it! Commenting from Mozilla Superdonkey at the moment. -pcmacman
I thought about it, but it seemed a bit frivolous to me. I do however have a theme (Qute) that has a starfish for the favourites icon. -robbor
http://texturizer.net/firefox/extensions/ <--- all sorts of nifty plug-ins for firefox. firefox seakoala signing off! -marionette
I don't do frivolous. *Looks at rippling water effect on desktop* oh, wait... -CommanderData
I don't do frivolous either. Pssst... Hey CD, where'd you get the rippling water effect? -Wraith
Mozilla Firepanda here. -phsspok
<looks at rippling water effect on desktop> Oh crap- it's a STARGATE! -LaserGuru
Why in god's name is it doing -that-? -iFox
I was in the pilot for Firefox 9, The character I played, Dogcow McCoy, his background was he was raised by circus performers According to the show, he was the deadliest canibovine in the world with a leatherman wave. If we woulda got picked up, they would have worked in a gimmick where every episode I beat a student do death. -Digital Dogcow
Leatherman wave? Is this a tool, a hairstyle or an alternative lifestyle? -LaserGuru
And why is beating a student to death a gimmick? -LaserGuru
(a) http://www.leatherman.com/products/tools/wave/default.asp (b) Its not really a gimmick, I just made it a contractual demand. -Digital Dogcow
I am the Mozilla Firespider! Fear me and.. uh... give me cookies! :) -bracketmonkey
I never learned any sort of wave since my wrist never acted double-jointed. I leave that for the drag queens on the pride parade floats. -teivrann
Mine's Mozilla Powerpig at the moment <G> -BritishBunny
I'm still using Firefox 0.8, waiting for the Firefox 0.9 port for BeOS </listening.to.the.deafening.roar.of.silence> -objekt404
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148.
Where are they?
Anybody remember a couple of members here named Caffienehead and Techiegoddess? Anyone know what happened to them? Haven't heard from them in a while....
[By: JoeLugian]
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*Tosses the duct tape into the trunk, and shuts it* What? *thump* Oh, Never *thump* heard of *thump thump* them. Hey, WHATS THAT!?! *drives off in a hurry* -Bobsentme
I haven't heard from ShiftedBeef for a while... -ShiftedBeef
Remember em yup! but both AWOL. along with TSC's resident enfant-terrible Vertigo. -Digital Dogcow
And while we're on the subject, whatever happened to MadJack, Foyle ,Alik@t, Loren, maidtina, notpitr & Paul(ie). Bunch o' goddam slackers!. -Digital Dogcow
And where the heck is Veinor? One person we don't miss? Eggshen. -Veinor
The Coyote? (of course, he's infamous for showing up for a few days, dazzeling us with incredible stories, and dissapearing again) -wolfprince
At least Coyote told us he was departing, aw-ooo. The rest, uh, I don't recall receiving notice on. I wonder about Robeart, Shoefly, and Akirafan -- cuz they was my coworkers. :) -Mushroom
Was? -LaserGuru
i remember them too-where are they i will kill if they dont come back. -postal tech
I used to work with CaffeineHead... every now and then I hear from him, but it's been a while now. -teivrann
And deltree/y and ladysethos and Grembo and CelticSkyhawk and grahamboyes, etc. -Tekkie
How about Persephone, I wish we would get some more updates from her. -jard
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149.
Got Paper?
So at 5:05pm am getting ready to leave when my phone rings. It's a user at one of my remote locations (in a time zone one behind mine).
JR: Joe, I'm having a problem with the 420.
ME: The 420?
JR: Yea, the genicom!
ME: OH! The Okidata ML420 Printer (we just replaced an old Genicom with a new Oki) ME: What's Wrong?
JR: It's got an alarm light on it.
ME: Does it have paper loaded in it?
JR: Yea. I was printing fine when it just stopped and showed the alrm light.
ME: Turn it off and back on again.
(phone get's put down, I hear him walk across the room. Walks back, phone gets picked up again)
JR: Let me let you go so I can put some paper in it
ME: Good idea.
[By: JoeLugian]
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Yeah, 420 has more than one meaning in that office, I think... -teivrann
LOL @ teivrann! You beat me to it! -Tekkie
420 just doesn't work without paper. *toke* -Jerbear
Oh, ha-ha-ha... make 420 jokes at 8:00am, so I have to sit & think about it all farking day before I can do anything about it. -Beeker
www.420.com -Phssstpok
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150.
This site is affecting me!
Ok, I had a weird dream last night: I'm sitting at home, browsing TSC. It's more like a chat room than just a series of posts, anyway, I mention that I just got a new photo printer and CommanderData mentions that she has a few photo's she wants printed out. So I tell her to come on over (no small feat since I'm in Florida and she's across the pond in England!) She shows up at my doorstep with her digital camera in had. I let her in and let her use the printer while I continue on TSC. She prints out a few photos in poster size (apparently I bought the mac-daddy of photo printers, the print was 24in x 48in). She thanked me. We said our good-bye's "See you on TSC!" Then she left. (BTW, in my dream, CD was about 5'5" tall, shoulder length red hair and cute as hell.) How accurate was my dream, CD? :)
[By: JoeLugian]
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dude if your dreaming about cd then you need a vacation. -postal tech
Dude....screw the vacation....what kind of pics were they that she couldnt take them to Boots to be printed off :D sorry CD...had to ask -nomoretears
Per CD's profile - 5'9' brunette. Sounds like your image was from the picture she uses on the profile page. -technaround
Dreaming about CD is fine. The day you have a dream about postal tech is when you quit your job, leave TSC, and become a monk in upper Mongolia. <shudder> -Magenta
Ah, hell. That last post was from me. Forgot to log out as her after the last comment she made. -RiffRaff
Alright, G-rated geek dream! :) (How often does that happen?) -snowcrash
Any dream I might have about CD is none of your business. <blushes> Actually, that would be more of a nightmare. I can only imagine a Tasmanian Defil of a girl with raging hormones running around with a Biro stuck up her nose and flames shooting out of her eyes. <shudder> <G> -scooby111
Actually, I'm a 5 foot 9 red-haired wench with glasses (I had me hair dyed recently). I could go on with a physical description (bra size etc) but there'd be too many wrecked keyboards due to drool damage (I have curves, I have LOTS of nice curves) -CommanderData
Oh, and according to fuzzyom - I am stunning, and he reckons you might have been dreaming of Willow -CommanderData
I had a dream about tech supporting last night.. I was yelling at some guy because he wanted a connection number in Bavaria and we didnt have any. I think I was talking in my sleep as well.. Somehow I had 3 people at the same time on the phone too... weird -rockytech
*DROOOOLLLL* I like nice curves......:) -JoeLugian
Somebody take a digital camera to CD's BBQ! -CyBear
Tee Hee - no need to dream....We've sorted out a babysitter, so LadyLineswine & I are definitely turning up to "The Great West GeekFest" (copyright Lineswine 2004) that will be the English leg of TSCBBQ 2004. -lineswine
Hey CD - shall I bring a webcam with me? We could sort out a webcast of the event.... -lineswine
Mhmmm Willow.. -shayera
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151.
Sometimes, I love my job...
...Let me rephrase that: I ALWAYS love my job but today I got another one of those perks that just makes it even better. Currently have a sales meetiing going on. The majority of our salesforce is in the office today and tomorrow to listen to a few of our vendors pitch/present new products. I was summoned to the conference room to help the vendor hook his laptop up to our ceiling mounted projector so he could show a PowerPoint presentation. He rewaeds me with a brand new Ashworth golf shirt with his company's logo! I love free stuff!
[By: JoeLugian]
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With the sales force in-house, who's out in the field telling lies to the customers and making life bad for field service? -Bioguy
Free stuff = good thing. Vendors are always supplying lunches at the various sites almost daily, I can't wait to get promoted to tech from helldesk. -Starfury
Lucky you. All our schwag is internal, pretty much... that and we get some shirts with the rollout of new "solutions", but... -namor
Not only this, but since our company is an "industry leader", we tend to go a little bit overboard with our own marketing items: shirts, golf bags, keychains, calendars, hats, umbrellas, etc. I have tons of company stuff! This place is the best place to work in the world! We even get free breakfast every Friday morning, a corporate membership to Golds Gym, at least once a month, our whaerhouse manager BBQ's ribs for us for lunch. I could go on but I'd just make you all jealous! :) -JoeLugian
and now you have some positions that just became available! How thoughtful of you to share :) -ttech
We get either doughnuts or bagels on Fridays. No corporate anything, thankfully. Makes it easier to take home pens or whatever "accidentally". -snowcrash
And here I am workin' for the state.... -kman52000
...oh wait, that's right, we get 10 - 12 PAID holidays a year, plus accrued sick and leave time.... -kman52000
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152.
Not a story, I need some help..
...Do we have any Dell techs out there? I have a Latitude C640 who's hard drive took a major dump. A new one is already on it's way from Dell. In the meantime I thought I'd try to recover some data off of it if I could. It will not boot from the HDD so I am trying to boot from CD but I am getting this: "CDBOOT: Memory overflow error". I get this on every bootable CD I have tried. Any suggestions? I originally thought it might be the IDE interface but I put a hard drive from another C640 I have here and the computer booted no problem. Can anyone help? The Dell tech I talked to said he never heard of that error before and a Google search doesn't bring back much. HELP!!!
[By: JoeLugian]
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Hrmm. Haven't heard of this error before. Do you have access to another modular CD-ROM? If so, try that. I've seen weirder things before, like a bad battery in a modular bay that prevented the machine from booting up. -h3x0n1c
No, I haven't tried that yet. I will now! Thanks!! -JoeLugian
look on dell's website for a bios update. there may be a glitch with your bios causing problems with certain bootable cds. worth a shot. -LiQUidICicle
Nope, didn't work. Same result. :( Thanks for the input though... -JoeLugian
I just recovered data from a compaq laptop by putting the hdd in a PC. Had to use an adapter ($12.00) but was able to recover all data before the drive died completely. -reboot
Yep. That adaptor is a must-have for anyone who works with laptops. I highly recommend obtaining one. -RiffRaff
Can you try to pull out the HD and then boot from the CD? If you can then the HD is probably fried and only specialists can: http://www.ibas.com -Dr Jerkyl
First off, thank you everyone who has responded (so quickly too) to my cry for help. In the past hour, I have obtained and installed a BIOS update which solved my booting to CD porblem. I just tried booting to a ERD (Sysinternals) boot CD and found that even it will not see the HDD in the system. ;(. Oh, ans yes, I will be purchasing one of those 2.5" HDD to 3.5" HDD adapters very soon! Thanks again everyone! -JoeLugian
Instead of (or perhaps in addition to) the 2.5 to 3.5 HD adapter, I would recommend a set that allows you to hook the drive up as an external USB 2.0 device. It would be a power pack with a power connector and a data cable with a USB 'A' connector on one side and an IDE drive connector on the other. Plug in, instant external drive with no drivers under Win 2k/XP. Seen it for $33 on eBay, haven't located a direct purchase vendor for it yet, though. -BayouTech
I've got those, they retail for $59.00 but will hold any ide device, Hard drive, cd, cdrw, dvd, you name it. Very handy. Let me know if any of you want one. -DataSolutions
To get your data out, I suggest trying the tools from this site: http://www.r-tt.com/ . I installed the demo software and it looks good. Haven't tried it yet, though. -CTYankee
I've recovered data off 2.5" laptop HDs before. Many computer stores will sell an external box for 3.5" & 2.5" HDs. They connect through one or two USB ports (1 for power, 1 for data). Place HD in the box. Plug into USB ports. Copy data like any other disk. -Wraith556
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153.
Ole Dopey me...
Yes, I too have my starfish moments...We got a new HP Laserjet 8150n big-assed laser printer about a month ago. Noticing that, on each printed page, text seems "raised" and it is easy to wipe off or smudge the print. I called HP tech support. After an easy 3 min wait, I got an ENGLISH speaking person who told me to check the fuser area, that these printers ship with spacers so that certain parts don't get damaged. (I DO remember removing several packing pieces from inside the printer) I look in there and notice THE TWO GODDAMN BRIGHT ORANGE PACKING SPACERS THAT SEPERATE THE FUSER FROM THE GODDAMN ROLLER!. I remove said spacers and print is perfect. I then told the tech about this site. :)
[By: JoeLugian]
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Been there, done that. We have big orange labels on our fuser locks- they remove the labels. -LaserGuru
Yes...and these type of calls make for excellent call times on their side. PEBKAC is wonderful. -DDFR
We have 8 of those 8150s. After about a year, we started having problems with one of them and when I called tech support, it turned out someone hadn't removed those same spacers. My question is HOW did it work for the first year? -sassicatz
The fuser works through heat and pressure- one roller has a heat lamp, the other is spring loaded. The locks open the spring loaded roller so it does not flatten out during shipment and storage. The rollers may still tough- there is just no real pressure. Short, light runs will work, but heavy runs will have problems. After some wear and tear you might have problems. -LaserGuru
Did you talk to an agent in the states or canada? There are only two centers that handle these ones and I work on the Canadian side, most of my team mates know about this site already. (Ps - don't forget to make sure your envelope levers are in the down position or you will be calling back in 10 000 pages for smudge printouts again :)) -frprinterwiz
LG, that is exactly where we saw the problem witht he print - on heavy runs (Invoice printing). One or two page jobs we saw no difference, but big jobs, bad print. -JoeLugian
In the 'Old' days there was a game called find the Pin, this involved removing all the pins from a new shirt before putting it on... (My best score was 1 missed pin...) -Wonko The Sane
The 'New' version is find the transport clips in the printer, my best score is a pile of Blue tape, & Orange clips which are twice as heavy as the printer they were removed from! -Wonko The Sane
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154.
Joke
One of Microsoft's finest techs was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then at the target again.He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine. The trouble must be at your end!"
[By: JoeLugian]
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ROFLMAO! ROFLMAO STILL! -MaskedMarauder
OMG.. thats all I have to say! -haplo1024
MWAH HAH HAH HAH! -CommanderData
LOL. That one never gets old. -scooby111
The ultimate tunnel vision... heheheh -teivrann
ROFLMAO..... THAT is classic -duckhead
NO sir, please contact the bullet manufature and have a relacement sent out if its under warrenty -LowLevelFormat
You'll have to call the bullet's OEM. -Mushroom
Bullets are from OEM?? no no my fine mushroom friend, there the conductor of transparent matter from 1 point to another, yah know like how yah DSL works, yes yes you guessed it, Bullets replacment? call your ISP -LowLevelFormat
And when the empty headed people
In the world can't agree,
There will be an answer, *lead it be*. -omegawolf
*LOL* at OmegaWolf -CTYankee
I think I served with him... -Spyder19
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155.
Who needs power?
This was relayed to me by the IT manager in my company (he is in another branch). He got a call from one of our outside salesguys that went something like this: Salesguy: Hey, Having a problem with my laptop (new Dell Inspiron). IT: What's the prob? SG: When I press the power button on my laptop, the power light flashes for a sec then goes off, it won't turn on! When I left a little while ago, it was on. I thought the screen saver kicked in but then I noticed it wasn't running. When I came back, I tried to turn it on and it won't. The IT manager then tries a few troubleshooting things: Checks to make sure the AC power cord is plugged in to the wall and the laptop (possibility of a dead battery). Press and hold the power button. Nothing worked. IT: Well, can you check the outlet that the AC adapter is plugged into? SG: It's plugged in, let me turn on a light to look back there to make sure. Wait, the light won't come on. Hey! The TV won't come on. Hey! The digital clock on the desk isn't on! The power's out here! Long story short, he left the laptop on for about 4 hours and the power went out during that time and drained the battery.. Moral of the story: Make sure your HOUSE has power before you call the IT department!
[By: JoeLugian]
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Is this where we tell him to take it back where he bought it and tell them he's too stupid to have a computer? -robbor
Yes -RTFM
I have heard the "Take it back, you're too stupid to own a computer" story too. Please believe me, this actually happened. :) -JoeLugian
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156.
Another plea for help...
I do some tech work on the side for a small business. THis business has Verizon DSL business class with a static IP. I set up their network using a Linksys BEFS41 router between the DSL modem and the 3 PC's in the network. All 3 pc's can hit the internet and get e-mail, what doesn't work is that, starting a week or so ago, I cannot PING the static IP address (and subsequently, remote in with PC Anywhere). 2 calls to Verizon tech support and I get told the same thing: Router is mucking things up. How can this be? If I cannot even get to the damn MODEM's Static IP, how can the router (which is 'inside' of the modem) cause the IP to "disappear" from the internet? Any ideas?
[By: JoeLugian]
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Unsure how Verizon works... I'll assume no PPPoE, so - can you trace or hit the gateway/next hop? -namor
The modem doesn't have a static IP. The firewall / router does, in theory, and I presume you set it up so that it uses static IP rather than asking for one. (Telus will sell you a "fixed IP", which is still dealt to your machine by DHCP with a 168-hour lease... so it's not really ststic, though it acts like it. I don't know if Verizon does the same.) It is possible that someone at the client site went into the router, and in the interests of "greater security" turned off ping response and closed the pipeline you went through to get PCAW to work. -chazz
i thought all DSL was PPOE? or am i just confused? -MrThou
you're confused. Not all DSL uses PPPoE, it's just more prevalent there; I believe it's that a lot of dialup providers were the ones to start on DSL, and it makes more sense from an administration sense (fitting into existing billing/authentication systems) to go with PPPoE, than with cable, which didn't necessarily have any such preconceived notions or systems. -namor
I think Chazz is right: there are 2 types of DHCP (cuz we use the second one in commercial accounts): Dynamic daily or weekly leases and "Persistent" leases (sometimes confused with static) which still answers to DHCP. -goblin69
Thanks for the Info :D -MrThou
in some cases the Linksys may be set to not return ping requests. On the router's setup pages, look for an option that says Block WAN Request: Enable Disable -itsnotmyrouter
i do residential tech support for verizon, and i'm not too sure about business customers, but all of our older static residential customers all have static IPs which are manually entered rather than DHCP leased. Another possibility is if you have a westell 2200...it acts as a router when in pppoe mode and needs to be set up with forwarding rules if you want to be able to accept incoming connections. -Deimios
btw, if you're west (i.e. former GTE customer rather than bell atlantic), then there's no pppoe -Deimios
On M$, at least, it's possible to 'reserve' an IP in an address range to a given MAC address, so it'll continually get that addr back. This way it can 'live happily' within a DHCP scope. -CTYankee
Thnaks to everyone for your responses! I have found the problem and fixed it! (It was the "WAN" setting in the linksys reouter that was blocking ping responses. Thanks again for all of your help, everyone. I love this site! -JoeLugian
yeah, by default almost all routers do not respond to ICMP. This is a good thing, and if you have port forwarding setup correctly, you don't want them to. It's extra security for people pinging random IPs, looking for vulnerable computers (basically, if it's not a company and you get a response, it indicates a computer with no firewall) -Coyotebd
sorta sounds like a eu i had.....linksys router block multicast....you have to disable that or the firewall will block your pings.... -jas75249
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157.
Canadian Weather Guide
Ok, seeing as it is cold in most parts of North America....I'll offer up the great Canadian temperature conversion guide for F-C conversions:
50° Fahrenheit (10° C) Californians shiver uncontrollably, Canadians plant gardens.
35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C) Italian cars won't start, Canadians drive with the windows down.
32° Fahrenheit (0° C) American water freezes, Canadian water gets thicker.
0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C) New York City landlords finally turn on the heat, Canadians have the last barbecue of the season.
-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C) Mt. St. Helens freezes, Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door to door.
-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C) Santa Claus abandons the North Pole, Ottawa's Rideau Canal opens for skating.
-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C) Ethyl alcohol freezes, Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C) Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops, Canadians start saying "cold eh?"
-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C) Hell freezes over, Toronto Maple Leafs win Stanley Cup.
[By: JoeLugian]
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! harsh!!!!!! careful joe!!! might hafta come down there and give ya the beats, b'y!! -mousie
Hell yeah! Southern Poofs! -DracoSuave
Hey, the Leafs could be worse, we could be the New York Rangers :) -Bunglehawk069
MY NAME IS JOE!!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!
hmm i could really got for a beer now... and a beaver tail eh? -Harm
I've heard that one about Maine as well, just with a different accent. What's that aboot, eh? -NiMoyad
I dunno, its -20(F) here, and i am in the mid west... here, it gets hot enough to kill people, then cold enough to kill people less than a month later. SICK! SICK i tell you. And for those lucky enough not to know, -20(F) is REALLY f$cking cold when there is 15mph winds -crackshot
hahahaha that cracked me up -discordkitty
we dont say ABOOT. we say ABOAT. we do not say ABAAOOOOOUUUUUUUUT like our american neighbours. :) *pls take no offence I have many american friends and relatives whom i love dearly* -TekkieGrl
Yeah i'm in SW Ontario..same deal.. hot as hell in the summer, and humidity that results in liquid air, and in the winter...well, they're shoveling the ROOF at work right now, need i say more? -Ticketman
Really farking cold in Minneapolis/st paul today high of -something F with a windchill below -28F. I'm getting brain freeze just walking outside. I get it when the outside of windows of my car are frozen, but the inside? (I'm from california, coldness is new) -nm
The book "How to be a Canadian" has a similar temperature chart. Hilarious book, give it a read. -thx1138
Think Positive! The Leafs can win it this year before hell freezes over!! Go Leafs -AngelicTech
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158.
Just a poll
Reading the comments on RedSwingline's story "It Won't Move Forward" I am curious: What is the configuration (specs) of your computer(s). I'll go first: (1) AMD Athlon 2500Barton 512MB (winXP) (2)AMD Athlon 1900 512MB (winXP) (3) Intel P3 512MB (winXP) (4) AMD K62 533 256MB (winXP) (5) Intel P3 500 256MB (winXP) (6) Intel P166 32MB (DOS/WIN311) (7) Intel P233 32MB (win95) What's your's??
[By: JoeLugian]
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(1) AMD 2400, 640Mb (2)Intel 75Mhz, 156Mb -MightyMouse
AMD Athlon 600mhz 396mb RAM, 120gb HD, WinXP Pro, 64mb Video card. My only system. And it's not that great. Sigh. The joys of being a low-paid tech. :p -SwedishChef
Compaq Presario 1220 with 98Mb RAM is my main system, had to sell a lot of stuff recently and had some hardware failiours but we also have a XP 1770+ that's a games machines ATM. -fearmyroot
1) P4 2,4G; 1024MB; 2x120GB HD; Nvidia T4600-128; Audigy Platinum; Cd-rw + DVDrom; B7II-RAID mb; WXPh. 2) PIII 500M; 512MB; 2x30GB; ATI Radeon 64; SBLive Platinum; CD-rw (old) + DVD-rom. And an old 486/50 with 3x512MB HD + 32MB RAM... -Dr Jerkyl
PC partner, 486sx 25mhz 2048k mem, 64k svga vid. -KuroTaka
AMD K62 400, 128Mb RAM, 20Gb drive + 2Gb drive (soon to be transferred to my parents PC), 8Mb SIS6326 Vid Card, TV Tuner Card, SB Live 5.1 dig, Win 98SE/RH8(rarely used) -Splunge
1) p4 1.8, 512 mb ram (XP) 2)AMD 450 mhz, 132 mb ram (98) 3) P2 233mhz, 64 mb ram (98) 4) commodore 120 mhz, 32 mb ram (Norton Commander) -CyberGrandma
(1) AMD Duron 800, 512Mb, 110 Gb HD (2) AMD Duron 1100Mhz, 256Mb, 30Gb HD (3) Celeron 700Mhz Laptop, 128Mb, 10Gb HD - All WinXP Pro -ElPolloDiablo
1) P4-M 2.0Ghz 40 GB internal, 200 GB on firewire, Radeon 7500, 768MB DDR-RAM, XP/SuSe 8.2 2) P4 2.26 B, 80GB, ti4200, 768MB RDRAM, XP/SuSe 8.2, 12k 3dmark2k1 if anyone cares --Big friggin gap -- 3) PII450 (on a 440BX), Geforce3Ti500, 53GB total, 256 PC100, 98 Gold/SuSe 8.0 4)P90, some 8MB video card, 2GB HD, 64MB RAM, 95B 5) Mac Classic 6) Apple II
Hell yeah! -nm
(1)AMD 2100 1GB DDR RAM 120GB RAID W2K Server (2)AMD 2100 768MB Ram W2K (3)500mhz W98
(4)500mhz 256MB W2K (5)500mhz 256MB RedHat 9.0 (6)Compaq laptop -RedSwingline
1. AMD 1800+ XP 1Gig Ram 80 Gig HD Runing Win2K Pro/Server/Advanced Server/XP Home/XP Pro (maily Win2K Pro. 128 MB AGP Vid Card, Water Cool/4 Cathode lights
2. AMD 2200+ XP 512MB Ram 32 MB AGP Vid Card WinXP Pro 80GB HD
3. PIII 800Mhz 128MB Ram OnBoard Vid Linux RedHat 20GB HD
4. PIII 800MHz 128MB am Onboard Vid Linux SuSe 40GB HD -linuxrules
1) Athlon XP 2000+ (1.67Mhz), 256MB SDRAM, 40GB HDD, 128MB ATI Radeon 9500, 24X CDRW & DVD-ROM, Zip 100 ATAPI, WinXP Pro 2)IBM Thinkpad R40e: P4 1.8Mhz, 256MB DDR, 16MB ATI Mobility, 20 GB HDD (only 4200RPM...bah!) CDRW/DVD-ROM, WinXP Home. I LOVE that laptop... -PaseoGuy
1) AMD 2500 Barton, ASUS A7N8X Deluxe, 512 MB of RAM, GeForce 3 2) PIII 933 ...on some ASUS board, ATI Radeon 9500, 256MB RAM -Techromancer
The full spec of my home rig is on my profile page, but in summary: XP1700(Palomino), 768MB, 1x40 & 2x80(RAID 0)G (Win98 & 2000pro dual-boot). -Wraith556
1) PIII 1ghz on Abit SE6, 512MB, ATI AIW Radeon 7200 (the first one), SB Live 5.1 w/Live Drive, DVD, CD-RW, 100gig, USR 56k, 3Com 3C905B Ethernet, Adaptec DuoConnect (USB2.0 + Firewire), Win98SE/Win2k, MS Explorer 3.0 mouse, SK-6000 combo ergo keyboard w/touchpad, Viewsonic 21" CRT, HP 970Cse inkjet, HP Scanjet 6200Cse, Imation 6in1 media reader, AL ADA880 digital speakers, Netgear RT314 router, Alcatel Speed Touch Home DSL modem, 2) no laptop, 3) no test machine (whaaa!) -BayouTech
p4 2.6/HT, 512RAM, DVD +R/+RW, 9800 Pro, 80GB HD, XP Pro, DVD Drive, SB Live 5.1 -Bunglehawk069
My computer has Skynet printed on its sides. MMMUUUUUWWWWHHHHHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HA. -Bioguy
Just 1 - p4 1.8 GHz, 1 Gig of Ram, cdrw/dvd combo drive and a cdrw (24x) drive, zip 250 drive, 80 gig HD (running dual xp/mandrake 8.0 OS's), turtle beach santa cruz with altec lansing ada885's, nvidia 128 meg vid card, plus cable internet -PCRaevyn
You really want this? Jeez. OK. My home dev box: P4 1.6, 256MB mem, 40GB HD, ATI AllInWonder 8500DV, Envision 17" LCD. My work dev box: Athlon 1.66, 256MB mem, 60GB HD, GeForce 3 and NEC 18" LCD. Other boxes include a 1.4 otherwise identical to the work dev box, lying in pieces on the floor, and machines ranging from 533MHz (Alpha, running Debian) to 90MHz (Pentium, running OS/2). -chazz
My main system is a netpliance iopener win98, 32 megs k62 downclocked to 200mhz that keeps rebooting every few mins and i cant use, access to fearmyroot's XP 1700 running suse 8.2/win XP and the family's p133/suse 8.2 server and firewall -maidtina
1.) Athlon 1800+, 512Mb, 60Gb, dual display, XP Pro/RHLinux 8.0. 2.)Athlon 800, 256Mb, 40Gb, 2k. 3.)K6-2 450, 256Mb, 40Gb, 2k3 Server (webserver) 4.) K6-2 450, 256Mb, 160Gb, 2k Server 5.) P2-233, 256Mb, 20Gb, RHLinux 8.0 6.)P5-200, 128Mb, 30Gb, W98SE 7.)p5-100, 128Mb, 10Gb, Novell 5.2SMB 8.)K6-2 450, 128Mb, 20Gb, 2k (wifes computer) 9-11)p5-100, 128Mb, Various HD's running 98, 2k, RHLinux 8.0 12.)P2-233 Laptop, 256Mb, 10Gb, 2k/RHLinux 8.0 -ecoli
As they come to mind, all active 1)AMD 900,528mb,100gb,2Ksvr 2)AMD 1800,728mb,90gb,2K/XP 3)G3 350,528mb,50gb,X.2svr/X.3svr 4)G3 300, 256mb,4gb,X.2 5)LT P4 1.8,528mb,40gb,XP 6)LT PII 266,128mb,4gb,RH 7)LT PII 366,196mb,10gb,98(hardwired in truck) 8)Dual PII 300,256mb,6gb,XP 9)PPC 300,128mb,4gb,9 10)LT G3 500,256mb,20gb,X.3 11)G3 300,128mb,6gb,9.2 -Wolph
k6 2-450 as main, a P2-266 as a DJ/music box in the works, an old Mac as a test bed in the basement, my domain running off of a 133 in CD-Rom tower in the corner, a stack of P166-200's downstairs and others in various states of repair. I don't have enough power outlets to have it all running. -namor
i personally only have 1 amd XP 1800 ( 1.53) win xp home ( shutupp it came with the system) gforce 4 440 256 PC2700ram ( i need to upgrade but im broke)Audigy x gamer. and networking gear... some computers in the household are better then mine.. - but i traded off computers upgraded for paintball gear. -Harm
1) Intel P4 1.7(old socket interface), 512MB 800mhz RDRAM, Intel 845GB, winxpp.
2) erm, pentium 2 500 i think, 512mb, win2k server
3) msi mega pc - p4 2.4, 1gbram, winxpp -Quinn
(1) AMD 1800+ (Win2k) (2) P133 (Win95) (3) Sun IPC (FreeBSD) (4) Mac 5260 (OS 8.5) (5) Mac 5260 (OS 9.1) -TechOgre
Linux running on a $10 Walmart watch ;) -OzarkBard
(1) AMD 2800+, 512mb RAM, 200gb, DVD, CDRW, 19" LCD, WinXP Pro, 56k dialup (cries). (2) Thinkpad 600 PII-350, 128mb RAM, 32gb, DVD, Red Hat 9 [alternatively, 10gb Win98 on a second hard drive I can swap in/out]. -Jay911
(1) AMD AthlonXP 2000+, 384Mb, total of 60Gb hard disks, CD-ROM and CD-RW. (Debian Linux) (2) Dual Celeron 466, 128Mb RAM, 30Gb hard disk. (FreeBSD) (3) P100, 64Mb RAM, 4Gb hard disk. (NetBSD) (currently down) (4) P133MMX, 128Mb RAM, 20Gb hard disk, CD-ROM. (Win98) (5) 486DX4/100, 24Mb RAM, 4Gb hard disk. (OpenBSD) (6) Fujitsu LifeBook S6120, dual-boot WinXP Pro and Debian Linux. -EmleyMoor
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160.
New Virus
Anybody else getting pounded with the new @Swen virus? I've got 5 in MY inbox this morning already. Tries to disguise itself as a Microsoft Update. If you haven't seen it, update your virus scanners and warn your users. It can come in via E-mail, Irc or Kaaza..
[By: JoeLugian]
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Would that be Worm.Automat.ABH? I'm hitting 1 spam, 1 worm. 1 spam, 1 worm. 1 spam, 2 worms. :-/ -Calydor
Oh, and BTW - Snot-on AntiVirus crashes after the first 10! -Calydor
think our abuse mailbox got 500 copies yesterday. Joy. -namor
I don't know about the resat of you, but I am getting pretty damned pissed off at these frigging virus writers. Why can't they use their powers for good instead of making my Sys Admin life a pain in the ass???? -JoeLugian
"Balance, there must be." /Yoda -phanatik
rolled into work this morning to find 1 copy of that message, and said to myself Where the HELL would M$ get my email from, deleted the message, and checked the windows update site... and now the AV system is going crazy deleting these attachments... -garwain
I swaer if I ever meet someone who claims to be a script kiddie in real life, I will take him to Mexico and kill the bastard. -nm
Have to scan tonight, saw one earlier, but had not opened it, just deleted, system didnt boot to normal mode (98SE) twice last night, would to safe mode, removed a few ghosts in dev mmgr, and then it booted to normal mode ok, will run AV tonight and see what gives, it was strange ... I hate virii writers, can't they use that brain power for some good for a change? Argh ... -chattech
One of my users actually had it forwarded to her by someone who works at Microsoft! This MS employee later had to send out a bunch of apologies when she realized what she'd done... -Ant
We've been getting buried by that fucker... No way to filter it, either. Bastards. -RiffRaff
Must be lucky as I have not seen it yet. Will definately have to keep a lookout now though. Thanks. -TheSingingTech
I use Mailwasher to preview all my email. 1st kill the spam. 2nd check any suspicious content (ie: emails claiming to be M$ with a non-M$ email address, that has to be a giveaway, more-so if these emails have an attachment, typically about 200k). 3rd Remove repeats. Then allow remaining material to download to my email client. -Wraith556
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161.
The SoBig.F Virus
Is anyone else out there getting hammered by the SoBig virus? My e-mail server is getting pounded with about 100 an hour. Luckily, I have the latest Defs and McAfee Groupsheild is blocking them all but I'm getting all the alerts! Just curious if anyone else out there is getting hammered like I am....
[By: JoeLugian]
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on some machines we are, mostly those who are on listservs have been getting notices from relay points. -DMenscha
I deal with the EU's, but enough are getting... sadly, our mail server doesn't have anti-virus, but we're starting to block some based on the headers alone. I more wonder how many network issues I see are an indirect result. -namor
We're at a very large Uni and that virus, as well as the Blaster worm of last week, have both had a devastating effect on our network and our email servers. Also, the kiddies will start coming back starting Friday; all 25,000 of them, and they will all bring laptops and other computers to campus that likely have not been patched. More extremely stressful days ahead... -ltu1542hvy
My webmaster@windos2000.net is getting hit... sucks because it's a web-based e-mail and I can't block them.
Luckily lately i've been getting the ones where it's just "See the attached file for details" message WITHOUT the 100KB virus, so i don't get killed after 40 messages. -catman1229
For your digestion. There is a program called Mailscanner. If will play nicely with any Linux based sendmail server. When you use it, configure it to block all .pif attachments. At that point, so.big, becomes a so.small problem.
-DataSolutions
Add .scr extensions to the .pif extensions to block. -ltu1542hvy
Would a symptom be lots of access attempts? ZoneAlarm hit a new record last night. 185 attempts in under 90 mins. Over 2 attempts a minute. However, didn't affect downloads. -Wraith556
Its so bad our normal cue is 2 or 3 and it is now up to 15... not to mention that our network had some major slowdown because of the traffic... -rockytech
JoeLugian -- Counting sobig messages, reported bounces of sobig messages, and sobig messages with no attachments, we had 600 of them come into only two aliases today -- the sales alias and the support alias. Wraith, ZoneAlarm's having a tizzy is almost certainly due to MSBlast. -chazz
I haven't been able to read TSC for three days because our network has been FUCKED.... SOBIG is the least of our worries.. Fools haven't considered unpatched workstations a risk and we have ground to a halt three days straight due to LOVSAN and NACHI.
I guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing airplane glue. -DarthDOS
This morning I had over 400 emails with the sobig attachment in my Inbox!!! -ltu1542hvy
Nope. -snowcrash
*blink* There's a virus out? (All 15 companies I work with are patched, blocked and running as normal.) -scooby111
Thanks chazz. There must still be a lot of unpatched PCs out there. At work SoBig has tried to get in but our company's mail gateway automatically removes any attachments with the extensions of .exe, .pif, .scr, and others. -Wraith556
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162.
No Power
A little background: I am A Sys Admin for a mid sized company and I support our office users as well as our sales reps in the field all over the southeast United States. One sales rep called in late Friday telling me that he can't turn on his laptop. Pressing the power button, he tells me it feels like it will not depress, like the button mechanism is worn or broken and therefore will not power the laptop up. I tell him to make sure he holds the button for a few seconds. He does, no go. I tell him to ship it to me UPS red so I can have it today (he shipped it yesterday) to take a look and see what I can do. I get it a few mins ago. I remove it from the box, set it on my desk and press the power button. Sure enough, no power. I then fish the power supply out of the box and plug it in to the wall and laptop. Hit power button, the laptop comes to life!. I switch it off and remove the battery. The battery has a built in power indicator on it. I press it's button and the indicator lights don't even come on! battery was COMPLETELY dead! This is NOT this guy's first Laptop computer. This particular one did belond to another salesman who left the company and since it was better than the one he currently had, I gave it to him (like a hand me down) so I KNOW he understands the concept of charging the battery periodicaly! WHAT IS WITH SOME PEOPLE!!!! I guess he takes his car to the shop every time he runs out of gas too....
[By: JoeLugian]
Comment on Story
Comments
What is this "E-lec-tric-ity" you speak of? -Bioguy
It is that which keeps the cat from biting through the second lamp cord... -2ndClassCitizen
Why can't you just 'beam' some power to him wirelessly? -scooby111
I actually had one EU tell me he needed a battery that lasted longer. I asked, "How long?" His answer, "As long as I need it." Unhunh, I'll definitly include that requirement in my next RFQ for laptops. -Foyle
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163.
Why can't they remember??!??
Just had another one from this guy. You might remember, I submitted this story a month or so back. Same situation, Same user: AD called me on the intercom: "Joe, I think there is somethign wrong with my keyboard"
Me: "What?"
AD:"I canot use the numbers on the right side."
Me:"AD, hit the NUM lock key." (I have gone throught his about 5 times with him since I've worked here the past 3 months, SAME situation.)
AD:"I did, It's not working."
Me:"I'll be right there.."
I get there, he's on the phone with a customer. I pull out the keyboard tray and hit the NUMlock key, light comes on, keypad works. I say nothing and walk away..
He's a nice guy and does his job very well here. WHY IN THE FUCK CAN'T HE REMEMBER HOW TO DO THIS ONE SIMPLE TASK????????
[By: JoeLugian]
Comment on Story
Comments
They can't be bothered with it. As long as they have the handy-dandy technical reference---you. They are either too important to commit something like this to memory, too lazy, or too stupid. Either that, or they just like to hear your voice. -scooby111
Because he's an EU, & his limited brain capacity is already full with the other complex tasks it has to handle, like breathing, wiping his ass, brushing his teeth & making toast. -Digital Dogcow
Reminds me of an user I had to day, who couldn't connect to the network. Had her reseat her ethernet cable and she was like "I would've thought about that at home, but not here. I guess it's because I have you to call." -kman52000
...and of course, he was the guy in college that spent his weekends huffing paint in the dorm... and now gets paid twice as much as you do... -OzarkBard
He's a real NUMnuts -Veinor
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164.
They Never Learn
It never ceases to amaze me that people who work on a computer everyday fail to retain ANYTHING taught to them.
I Had this "desk call" earlier today: Our dispatcher comes in to my office" AD=dispatcher ME=me:
AD: Can you help me, Great Plains is messed up, I can't enter or lookup orders.
ME: I've been working with and setting permissions today, what can't you do?
AD: Enter or view orders using Transasctions ->Sales -> Entry. I had access earlier today but now it won't work.
ME: Let me check your permissions....yep, you should have access, lemme see what you are doing.
So I follow him to his desk
ME: Ok, show me what you can't do.
AD: (Clicks on Transactions ->Sales ->Transaction Entry. Screen comes up, clicks on the order number field. Types the order number on the NUMBER PAD but no numbers appear in the field)
AD: See, It's broken I can't access orders.
I calmly pull his keyboard tray out an extra 2 inches and hit the NUM LOCK key, turning it ON.
ME: Try it now.
AD: Hey it works! I didn't press that button. how did it get turned off?
ME: You probably bumped it earlier.
AD: NO, I didn't
ME: you had to have hit it, otherwise, it would have stayed on!
AD: No, I never touch that button.
ME: Whatever, it works now, Bye!
After relating this story to my IT Director, he tells me that AD does this usually 2 or 3 times a week. SAME PROBLEM, SAME FIX. Really, why can't some people get it????
[By: JoeLugian]
Comment on Story
Comments
Because they are brain-damaged morons that are mentally, socially, morally and genetically inferior to radiation-mutated horseflies, but nonetheless still breed faster than same? -TechnoVampire
That's why, for stupid things like that, I end with "If that ever happens again... just hit this button, and it'll fix it. Okay?" Usually works. Reinforce exactly what button to hit, and they'll tend to remember. -infinitywpi
Great Plains? As in Great Plains Distributors? Tower Hobbies? -Jeckler
Hehe, never mind, I think I spelled it worng. I need to go home. -Jeckler
Solution: one 8x10 frame, one sheet of paper (orientation landscape) with the words "NumLock Key" in 72pt Arial, mounted directly above the monitor (or simply stapled to the luser's forehead)... -hkypipe
Jeckler: more like Great Pains :) -Wiser
us a post-it note, they understand post-its -davonds
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Customer Misconceptions
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1.
Internet Explorer IS the internet! I can some what understand this one - Seems that the typical user has no clue that there is more than one browser available to them. Internet Explorer IS the internet and that's how you get to it. Installed Google Chrome (as user was always getting infected with fake virus scan trojans). Told her to use it for causal browsing. "OK, so how to I do the internet now? I open up IE then open Chrome?" "NO, Chrome IS your new browser, just open it and surf the web normally" "How do I do that?" "Just frigging double click the <deity be darned> icon on the desktop" Sheesh!
[2010-02-15]
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2.
More like a telemarketer misconception: That I will believe you when, even though your accent tells me that you are defiantely of Middle-Eastern descent, that your name is "Ken McCoy". And when I get your e-mail outlining the IT security service that your company provides that I won't delete it.
[2007-01-29]
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3.
More of a TCS Member misconception: "That the United States is the most awful place in the world." It's not a quote, but the sentiment is the same. I was just looking at the Soapbox and saw something I just can't stand: the bad-mouthing of my country. Just to inform everyone that doesn't live in the U.S., that the earthquake that struck south Asia was plastered all over every news outlet I saw today. Even the rinky-dink local paper in my city had it in 4000 point type across the top of the front page this morning. Bottom line: of you don't know what you are talking about, keep your mouth shut. I'm sick to death of the entire world dumping on my counrty. When there is need in the world, who is the first country to turn up with help? THE UNITED STATES! /end rant.
[2005-10-09]
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Tech Rules
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1.
This is a MUST TRY for any self professed geek: Try the demo of MaxiVista at www.maxivista.com. I am using it right now with a spare old P-II Laptop and it works GREAT! It will allow you to stretch your desktop from one PC to another like a multi-monitor setup only it uses a network connection. I am also going to try it using a serial cable/null modem.
[2004-05-27]
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2.
I have lost all hope for humanity and all faith in people. If even HALF of the stories posted here are true, then I can't understand how, as a species, are able to go about our daily lives....The stupidity and daftness that some people demonstrate never cease to amaze me. I am so glad I do not have a phone support job. Those of you who do, you're better than I am! I would not last 5 minutes. : )
[2003-10-23]
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3.
Not so much a rule but an idea I just had reading a story about a tech who doesn't make much money:
We, as supporters of technology, should go on strike one day and leave all the frigging clueless bastards (that make 100x more than we do) to fend for themselves!
Screw you, Mr CEO who can't figure out your e-mail! If you can't do it and I can show you how, why in the hell do I make suck a measly little paycheck compared to your 6 figure salary?? YOU NEED ME, PAY ME FOR WHAT I'M WORH!!
Us techs need more money for doing what we do! We provide a service that non tech people would be lost without! I say we strike and let them come groveling for our help! HAHAHAAHAHAAH!!!
[2003-04-21]
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4.
If you are going to post anything on this site, please learn how to spell... I cannot tell you how embarrasing it is to see a "tech" rant about a "luser" when they can't even spell a simple word like "Tuition", i just saw it spelled "tuishon" Made me want to LART The tech. I am not talking about simple typo's, we all do that. It's the out and out inability to spell that takes credibility from the poster.
[2003-04-16]
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Customer Types
1.
The "I got another virus" guy
Typical Monday for us. We usually get between 2 and 5 "I got a virus" e-mails and phone calls on Monday morning from our 90 sales holes that work out of their homes. This one is a type that gets infected each weekend by just browsing Facebook. "I didn't do anything or click anything, it just popped up". Sure sparky. Malwarebytes returned close to 800 infected files, this wasn't a drive by. You did something then kept doing it. Sadly, this isn't the first time he's been infected, we get to clean his machine on an almost weekly basis....
[2010-02-15]
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Co-Worker Types
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Can't follow simple instructions
They type of person who, when you explain how to do something, cannot grasp the simplest concept. I thought these types of people only existed in a Dilbert comic http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20041205.html
Boy was I wrong
[2004-12-06]
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2.
The "Jones-er"
This is the guy who, when he can't get to his favorite website to check for new submissions starts to get frantic. Oh, wait, that's me! (I hate it when TSC is down!) So glad it's back up!!
[2004-11-01]
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Customer E-mails
1.
Subject: Actually, A Boss e-mail
Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia -
Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies:
"I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says:
"I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
[2006-02-27]
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EUPOTD (End User Phrase of the Day)
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Not one I heard myself, just saw this at another site. Go here: http://www.clientcopia.com/top.php and check out #2. I fear for my kids education when they get to High School...
[2005-12-29]
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