Tech Stories

2. Thanks, Liz! It's rare that we can celebrate the actions of another, so when a chance comes I take it. We had cable turned on finally here in Chez Lusus, and it's because of force of power through ComC@st. Not *MY* first choice, but when you have a choice between bad and really bad, you know. So when I had followed the pre-installation instructions (move the TV away from the wall, have all the netly stuff handy, don't be a dick, etc) the installer was *genuinely surprised*. That was an open door, and before long (with me staying out of her way) we were sharing stupid user stories and getting along fine. So hey, if you're reading, Liz! Thanks! You rock. [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments I hope you don't live in Chicago cause otherwise this will be the only positive experience you have with Comcrap. -Aelin236 Oh no, I recognize this wasn't in any way shape or form representative of normal Comcast practice -- But I had to give "mad propz" or whatever the kids say these days. I fully expect painful anal dilation on my next interaction with their "techs". -Lusus

3. IT "colleges"? So I’m sitting here laid up with a bum knee watching my favorite antidepressant on TV (COPS), and because it’s on Fox and it’s the middle of the day, they’re showing ads for those... I guess they’re colleges. You know the kind, the ones that promise the moment you graduate you’ll have a high-paying important role in IT. One frequently repeated idea is that these schools “only teach you what you need to know”. Now, before I get too snarky, I’m sure that there ARE some successful graduates of these places, possibly even some fine members of the TSC community. But seriously, should these people REALLY be saying that there’s a complete specific skillset for IT? *MY* experience is that every day you’re learning something new about something that broke, or how to interact with the users, or deliberately reading and keeping up with the state of the field. These comments make it seem like once you’re done with their program, you can stop learning and become like some of the problem IT people that we all know and love. Am I just reading too much into crappy mid-day advertisements? Do these schools actually produce “professionals” of any sort of quality? Am I just crabby because my knee is swollen like a basketball and I can’t stand up? I dunno. Just a rant, thanks for listening. [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments My prime client did hire one of these guys, because said guy was quite up-front about it: said the course was crap, they gave you a book and turned you loose in the lab. A "teacher" was there to answer questions if you had any, but it was all up to you how much work you did... and you got the same diploma at the end whether you did the work or played Doom all day. Like anyone motivated but self-taught, the guy was a decent mid-level programmer, but still pulled enough junior-programmer tricks that in the end we had to let him go... -chazz They're probably about as promising, career-wise, as these "schools": http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-stupidest-video-game-school-commercials/ -MeanDean I actually did this back in 2000 through Ikon. They had a "Tech 2000" program that basically taught you how to pass the A+, Novell Netware and MCSE 2000 tests to get certified. Luckily for me I was already a PC enthusiast and was WAY ahead of everyone else in the class who seemed to be "career changers" Cost was $13.5k and was worth about half that to be honest. Got me my first job though... -JoeLugian Certs are kinda fun. I'm HIPPA, SOX, ISO, and Six Sigma friendly. I've cleared Top Secret (exp.) in the military, and Confidential (exp.) in the USGS. (oh wait, did I say I had a certification? nope. but it gets you through the resume churn.) -AngrySup

4. Nothing is too simple to confound NT/OT I live in a small apartment complex that has an on-site laundry facility that is protected by a simple combination lock. You know the kind, 5 buttons above the doorknob that if pressed in the correct order allow you to turn the knob and gain the priviledge of feeding quarters to the Holy Washing Machines. Today, as I was wandering to the recycling bins to dispose of the day's pound of Xmess-related junk mail, one of my fellow residents asked me if I knew why the door wasn't opening. I inquired of him what combination he was using, as it had been changed recently, but he was using the right one. "Odd," I said, "It worked for me yesterday." And I turned the knob. The door opened obligingly. "Oh, I have to turn the knob?" my neighbor asked, amazed. "I thought it opened itself, you know, like Star Trek or something." I can imagine people being confused when confronted with something unusual, like, you know, C++ when all you know is Prolog, but a freakin' DOORKNOB? And you're going to try and operate a washing machine next? Good luck, boyo! I split before he asked me if it mattered which way he put the quarters in. [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments Of course it matters! If you put the quarters in one way, it washes your clothes. But, if you put them in a different way...your clothes get washed. See? Completely different! -docbrown01 This kind of individual is easy to spot, they are the ones wearing the ping clothes! -ecoli I've always hated that phrase, "But it worked for me yesterday". And they keep saying it like that's the source of the problem. -Biosynthetic I always interpreted 'It worked for me yesterday' as 'I'm pretending it worked for me, so whoever came after must've broken it andyoucan'tblamemebecauseitwasn'tmyfault.' -LDFeral I like to tell them its like a light bulb blowing out. Well it worked yesterday. docfl -docfl Knob can't use a knob -PoglaTheGrate

5. ...In which I am a ninny I apparently should not try to install software before breakfast. As I try to install a large patch, I reach the point of clicking the magic "Install" button, which is greyed out. "Hmph," I mutter, "How odd." Admittedly this is stuff done by volunteers so I figure it's kinda sketchy someplace (and they used Comic Sans for the message windows), so I check the forums for similar problems. No dice. Check other forums, ask Google, still no help. The only common solution for the software is a complete uninstall followed by a eries of tedious reinstalls with reboots in between, which I REALLY don't wanna do this early in the morning. Bahhhhh twiddle poke ponder... At which point I realize I have about 140meg of free space on the drive. Gee, do ya think that might have something to do with it... I look at the installer and yep, a little tiny note in the bottom corner of the window with the required/available info, which I completely failed to see. Dammit, and I'm usually pretty good about that sort of thing. Clear up an Imperial Arseload of space (why do I HAVE some of this crap?) and the patch loads, but won't activate completely, and I seem to be on the reinstall route ANYWAY. Pfagh. In the time it took to write this bit of bile, I've gotten through the first two steps of reinstall, with one huge buttnugget of a patch to go. Good thing breakfast is bread, cheese, and a tomato or it'd be cold by now. [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments nice breakfast.... -Stryker One I don't need huge sweet brekkies, just something tasty. And it turns out the thing I was trying to install has system reuqirements that were Not What They Said on the Tin, which means it's... Functionally unusable. Thank dog I made backups. -Lusus

6. I feel almost disappointed... So I went to my client's place today, fully expecting fireworks, cat5 hanging from the flickering lights, bodies in the corner from the way they'd described their problems... and found... Nothing wrong. Everything had been plugged back in right, everything had net, everything was fine EXCEPT the NetGear router I had supervised the purchase of had been replaced by a LinkSys. The NetGear was sitting on the desk, unused. Seeing no need to faff around with anything, I left the situation untouched. But here's the funny thing: The other tech had configured the wireless with all the passwords that I had set for the NetGear, including renaming the router's ID as... NetGear. So now there's a LinkSys router that goes by the name NETGEAR. WTF? I guess I can kinda understand, since it would be less confusing for my client (who still has trouble comprehending copying things to/from a USB stick, and the fact that the mouse pad does not dictate the distance you can move the pointer on screen) but it just seems... Wonky. 'Sokay, I made some cash and got some nice Laguvalin Quarter Cask out of it. [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments Why would anybody replace a NetGear with a Linksys? That's like replacing an an apple with a brown spot with a moldy apple core. -linuxmatt I know, right? And there was NO REASON to swap out routers. I figgerd there was no reason to faff around with stuff so I didn't. I'm just happy I didn't have to deal with a cesspool of "Well THEY said" crap. It works, I won't have to faff about with it until they call me again, and cash beside, I'm happy about that because godalmighty these people really drive me up the wall. Of course, that can be said for any end user. That's why we're here. {sigh} -Lusus Replacing a Netgear with a Linksys is about as sensible as chopping up a lifeboat to make a raft with. -Gromit It sounds like the "tech" made the change so that they could prove they did something, and get paid. Maybe? -docbrown01 Funny, I prefer Linksys over Netgear. I've never had good luck with Netgear equipment; it always dies soon after warranty. But I'm still running a server with a Linksys 10/100 Ethernet card, after *12 years*. -Transkaren A std. linksys is fairly awful - one that has been flashed with one of several 3rd party firmware is TONS better. As for Netgear? Good out of the box, but have a tendency to die soon after the warranty has expired. -lineswine

7. Why he has job and I do not? In order to provide SOME cash to the dinner table during my unemployment, I take on freelance enduser support jobs. Basically hooking up people's cable internet, helping them figure out how to use their new computers, all the stuff that basically I'm GOOD at but no one is hiring for in my area (except St. Ream, which I avoid on purely moral points). A few months ago I had set up a long-time client with their new laptop, old desktop, and wireless at their new condo. Simple technically, difficult from a language standpoint because they do not speak tech AT ALL. But again, I'm good at it and I got them going and all happy and WOO HOO until... They got a new roommate. Who needed internet access. Rather than following the simple concept THAT I EXPLAINED and THEY WROTE DOWN of running a cable from the existing hub to the new computer (new box had no wireless capabilities), the new roommate brought in their "IT guy from work" who has apparently bollixed EVERYTHING up to the point that NO computer has net. I'm bothered not so much about the fact that I have to go fix things, it's what I DO, you know, it's that this has gone on for a WEEK and the "IT guy from work" has been unable to return the simple 2 computer network to a useable state. He's apparently older than me, and I'm coming from the TAIL end of the "put things back where you found them" educational system. BUT they know my rates, and I'm going to go step-by-step over every bit of cable in that condo to make DAMN SURE nothing's been hosed, and that network WORKS. Unlike Captain Snotbrains over there, whose job I SHOULD HAVE... Bitter? Me? Naaawwwww.... [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments Find out where Cpt. Snotbrain works, make sure he's not a mover & shaker, then submit your resume with a cover letter explaining how he messed up a working system and you cleaned it up....PROFIT! <Me, Evil? Nahhh, just pragmatic> -CTYankee Second the notion of trying for his job. -Loren Third that idea! -virusjtg F* it, shoot him in the head, then take his job! -Wolfie0827 1) Great ideas (well, maybe not busting a cap in his ass, but anyway); Thanks. I'll document the situation and see if I can use it to my benefit. 2) Further amusement: The actual network owner is on a business trip; her psychotic ex is sort of handling things in her absence. I have no point of contact for him! She's consistently failed after several requests to provide me with a POC. I have no idea how to get in touch with said ex, so I might just have to wait till the proclaimed last minute to deal with this. Sheesh. People think I do this for them because I care about them and the sad truth is I do it for the computers. Poor things have no choice i the matter (or DO they???)... -Lusus This happens so often it's crazy. Be sure to let us know what the problem turned out to be. It's always hilar- I mean, useful, to learn the different ways things can get messed up. -linuxmatt

8. Oh yay, you mean it gets BETTER? Managed to finally get in touch with my client, and we've scheduled a chance for me to come fix (if need be) her network on Sunday, which is oddly her OMG NEEDZ TO BE DONE NAO date from previous communications. New info has been provided, in that a) Her ex is stile somewhat hostile, b) Her roommate is hostile, and c) the network in theory seems to be working. Sometimes. In response to some comments I got from my previous post on the subject, I'm taking a camera and documenting what needs to be documented, partly because I might try to get Asshat's job, but more now because I suspect SOMEONE is going to make this come back and bite me in the ass. Not from my original client, as she's...not sharp but not hostile, but from the other tards involved... Wish me luck this Sunday, gang, cos I think I'ma need it. [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments Take the guns-leave the Canoli. Video camera for the soundtrack might be helpfull too! -jerrybear put tape seals on the cabling, and lock down the admin passwords. -McSmiley sounds like asshat has a modem and router both doing dhcp, and using the same ip on both. -beatmewithstick beat, I think you're right. From rereading emails and reviewing what they've told me, the Idiot has tried to run two modems at once on a residential account, and then tried to cover up for what I am rapidly beginning to suspect is either passive-aggressive behavior on the part of the roommate, or some sort of weird romance effort on the Idiot. We'll see on Sunday; I'll keep everyone updated... Possibly with a large amount of NSFW language. -Lusus

9. Well, one out of two ain't bad... While my drought of employment continues unabated, I am pleased that SWMBO has taken on database responsibilities at her current gig, and has undergone the first week of training on said system. Meant she was gone for the better part of this week, and will be gone again for several week-sized chunks over the next month or three, but the associated pay increase is good for us, and the associated potential for second-hand stories promises to be equally beneficial for the community at large. Without going in to TOO many details, this involves a large record-keeping system that has the same name as a certain meme that means the same as "Excelsior" or "Very good win". Starts with an "E". Ends with a picture. I don't know who or what lurks here so I ain't jinxing it any more than that. But anyway, yay 50% of team Her'n'Me! [By: Lusus] Comment on Story

10. Ladles and Gentlemints.... Looks like the congealed karma from my previous requests might finally be hitting the right consistency to lubricate the sticking wheels of JOB for me. This coming Friday, after literally months of resume submissions, I have an INTERVIEW. In one of the most IT-job-poor areas around, I have an interview for IT Assistant for a small School Of A Non Traditional Type. It's only part time, but that's okay, cos that can lead to bigger things and heck... I forget what working is like, honestly. Amusing also is the fact that the day it was posted (Tuesday), I submitted my resume and cover letter and all that happy horse sh!t, checked back at the listing on Wednesday morn, and it was closed already. Color me disappointed as I figured it was another case of "We just posted it publicly to be all legal, we were just filling the position from within" that I see far far too much of. For shizzles and grizzles I check my work correspondence account and lo and behold... After less than 24 hours, they want to talk to me. For a job that not only could I do half asleep, but that I'd actually enjoy doing. To be honest, I've been getting more and more anxious and depressed about not having work in my, nay, OUR chosen field, and was getting ready to reclassify as a gravedigger, but coming here and reading the posts and stories and comments kept my head above the 6 foot mark and for that I say thanks, all. Now the big question is, can I successfully disguise myself as an employable human being for the interview? Do people still wear "shirts" and "pants" these days? [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments Grats! - and yes ppl still wear shirts and Pants - athough you can get a rather nice utility Kilt these days. -Harm Yeah, shirts and pants, and shoes! (some people are touchy about sandals!) Also some of those old school managerial types like you to have neatly coiffed hair. Go figure. And cover any tattoos that you might have. They still get stupid about those sometimes. Here is a Job Pony Keg-O-Karma for luck. -ecoli I wanted to be a gravedigger once; turns out they used backhoes. How, I ask you, can I be a hunch-backed gravedigger with witty bon mots (mumbled to myself) whilst driving a backhoe? -LDFeral Well, you could try turning up in a see-through blouse, miniskirt and hobnail boots, but the school would need to be of an extremely Non-Traditional Type to let you in... -Gromit For added effect try a tie, some people appreciate it, it's like ketchup for salt for clothes not everyone needs it but most appreciate having it there. -0gr3 Lusus: one of the questions they may ask you during your interview is what you have been doing with your time since you began unemployment. Make sure to mention more than just job hunting. Make reference to reading books/manuals, learning, maybe expanding your cultural horizons (vai musuems, even virtual ones), anything other than just "job hunting". It shows initiative and demonstrates that you refuse to be lazy. -unrenowned All excellent ideas, thanks. ecoli: The fur is of the argumentative type. I'll be lucy to keep it vaguely under control. LDF: You could always become a Fiber Optic Cable Finder with a backhoe... 0gr3: Yep, the tie is a given. unrenowned: Oh, I have all manner of fun things I can mention - photography, honing skillz, flogging cats... Again, thanks for the advice, gang. -Lusus Good luck! -MadJack

11. Please? I so badly want this jorb. I don't submit stories often because, well, without a job it's hard to generate 'em. BUT. Thanks to the magic of that list by that guy named Craig, I have a lead on a job fixing and assembling FruitWare (no os wars, please) for a local company. I know FruitWare, I can caress the flanges of the case and make it do my bidding. Not a Genius, because that's below me, okay? But I have lived and breathed (and literally bled for) the Fruit for virtually all my professional life. I'm not beggin' for karma here, even though it seems to work, but... Okay, I'm beggin'. A year and a %^& half without work and having my fiance pay for everything is wearing thin on both our nerves. I really want this jorb. I really NEED this jorb. Because if this don't go, man, I don't know how long it'll be before I see another position I fit. Dammit, job searches should not be like Tetris at lvl55...And again, OS war comments can go to /dev/null. [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments Karma Kumquats have been loaded and are ready to fire... -AmazingKreskin I was going to joke about OS here, but this is not the place... karma in transit. -chazz Karma Kannon loaded and ready! Calculating trajectory...and...BOOM! -NetOwl iKarma grenades lobbed in your general direction! Good luck! -docbrown01 OS wars have no place, when it comes to job/no job - good luck! -Grue Tetris at level 55 is nothing. Flip the counter over 99. Now that when it is hard. -DarkRookie Good iLuck to you. Make sure your application gets reviewed by 2 or 3 people. Do a bit of research on the local operations. Talk with a few people. Dress for success! -Xal one Keg-O-Karma on its way!! Good Luck! -ecoli Job karma headed your way. Best wishes. -Ramblin New England Nutmeg Karma freshly grated and on the way! Just the thing to sprinkle on FruitWare to expand the taste. All the best, and knock'em dead! -CTYankee Ultraviolet-clearance karma loaded into the transdimensional collapsitron, good luck, friend citizen! -Diptera Here's a KarmaKitten®. I know what a year and a half looking for work is like and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. -sassicatz I'll place a couple KarmaTribbles on the transporter for you. Don't worry, you only need these two, they're already pregnant with good karma. -TechieSidhe Sending all I can spare. -Stryker One *casts karma* -rosemetal OS War Comment.....Good Luck! -Hawk Karma... job... you... send... ing... -PoglaTheGrate All the best with it :) -starfishmagnet Karma, Karma, Karma -VIPERsssss Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, mushroom, mushroom! -unrenowned < slides a tall, frosty mug o' karma down the bar of life> salud! -beerman

12. Hoping *I think*... Good to see the recent spate of TSC folken getting positions... Yay team! Now I hope that some of that rubs off on me. Yesterday submitted resume and such for a computer repair position, which sounds promising. The one problem, it's a startup. I worry about the potential lifespan of startups. Anyone have any insight/advice/stories about being employed under such conditions? [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments If they want you to take a high % of your pay in stock, buy your own parts, and bring coffee and donuts in bulk, RUN!!! -jerrybear Every company was a startup at one time. If you find out it's run by a 16-year-old high-school dropout...well let's just say my boss turns 30 this year (this coming Saturday, in fact) and his company has been around just shy of 14 years now. So you really can't judge until you see it from the inside. -OgdenTechGuy Better rule of thumb seems to me, accepting equity as part of compensation is fine, within reason, unless they spring it on you suddenly. If paychecks are late, you're in trouble. Do not take inventory instead of salary, especially if it is offered -- if they can't sell it, how can you? -chazz I've been involved in three startups - First lasted just 3 years (boss was spending money he didn't know he hadn't got), second one I started up myself and it ran successfully for 13 years until my co-director raided the profits for his French cottage (bastard) third one I started up in 1998 and is still going strong. -Gromit Generally, if they make it to year five, you are okay. Problem is that you don't find out they aren't going to make it until year 4.5! < To the LART shelter, PLEASE! > -TubPorsche my advice? give it a shot, work hard, help it suceed if possible, keep reume updated -HappyCrappy Well, if your options are: a job that may not last very long OR no job at all, I think the decision would be pretty easy. -Stryker One I think Stryker nailed it for me. Thanks all, let's hope this cat gets back in touch with me... -Lusus

13. WHY do they do this??? From email: "got some items hanging on from when you were here working on my laptop. Please give me a call when you have a moment please." No description of a problem. Her original problem? THERE WASN'T ONE. She thought it was slowing down, so I did spy/ad/virus scans and found nothing, at which point she admitted that she may have been IMAGINING the slowdown. I don't even want to consider what her imagination has cooked up this time unless it's very Lovecraftian and involves tentacles. Thankfully I'm in the middle of finals this week so won't be able to get to her till next Monday... [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments Lovecraft wrote hentai? Wait, what? <Holding the LART shelter door closed is dirty pool, man.> -charred Heh. I *told* you tentacle porn was to blame for everything today :P -rosemetal Lovecraftian is so .... Gothic. Hentai tentacles, on the other hand, are downright ... Ecchi! -TieDyedDinosaur Hentai Tentacles? Now *THAT'S* love! -Biosynthetic I thought LACK of enough QUALITY tentacle pr0n was to blame for every disaster and humanity's current state. -Necros

14. Help a new guy out. Greets all, long time reader first time poster, sorry about lack of formatting, no money, no star, etc, you know the drill. So. My entire career has consisted of customer support in some form or another, and the vast majority of that has involved technical support, again in some form or another. I've done it all, from Windows 3.1 to NT4, Mac in all forms, and pretty much every *nix you can think of. I've done physical network gigs (okay, I pulled cable), and even once held the esteemed title of National Systems Support Administrator (fancy way of saying "downstream bitch-monkey"). Eventually I burned out, fast and hard, and went through the Dark Period that I'm sure some of you (if not all) are familiar with. Upon surfacing, went back to school and am very close to a degree, and am looking at my skills and talents... And am torn. Do I really want to go back to IT/IS/TS work? It's what I'm good at, and although it tore me apart once I've matured vastly in the time since. I'm not as... self destructive as I once was, and can not only handle but serve Black Dishes of Pain. I suppose what this really is is a karma request, but you, the noble reader, get to choose if it's karma for me to get back into the field, or to manage to stay the heck out of it. This has been heavy on my head as of late (of, yes, I'm unemployed for the time being) so obviously I'm... trying to do something. [By: Lusus] Comment on Story Comments If you wanted to strike out, you could try an independant computer repair. but that's just my $0.02 worth -AdmiralLaurie Do you mean freelance, or find a local shop looking for capable folk? Either way, I'm already doing freelance support for people, but nothing enough to support my various habits (like, say, eating). As for local shops... Not a lot in my part of town sadly, but it is a good idea. -Lusus My .02 - stick with IT and work your way into management. </stops to shield himself from the unmentionable objects being thrown in his direction> ... Seriously though, you've worked from the ground up, been through the burnout process, and have obviously pulled your way through. These are exactly the type of people we need in management positions. Those who have been there, know how rough and demoralizing it can get - but also how rewarding. The best managers I've every worked for are the ones who had been through something similar - the worst are those with no tech experience at all. We need more of the good ones. Anyway, that's my ramble. Best of luck in wherever you chose to go. -Ramblin I'm with Ramblin on this one. *ducks* Frankly, if you've got the tech skills you say you do, then put it to use showing the PFY's the do's, don'ts, and "never agains" of the trade. Never Otis the tech unless absolutely necessary, protect/shield the ones who truly need it. Take some courses on basic management in several forms: time management, interpersonal communications, public speaking (for those group meetings...), and maybe one or two courses that teach that managerial lingo... *ducks* ... So you can understand the lingo (if you don't already). -unrenowned And last but not least: remember to praise them when they do right. It's something little, but big to all of us, that make us want to stay at our jobs and to keep doing better. Sometimes (read: sometimes) it's the ONE thing that can be done to keep that "miracle" tech on-board even when an offered pay raise won't.... Food for thought. -unrenowned I sympathize with you. And if my Ectokarma was working better, I'll slime you until you drown. I'm still trying to break trough as independent businessman, and let me tell you: it's very hard, but it can be very satisfying. My advise would be: if you see a chance, take it. If you get a chance to go back to IT support, take it but keep your eyes open for a better chance. Or, if you can advertise yourself as a consultant, do it. Don't close any doors unless you see a better door open. Good luck. -TheGhost *casts generic karma* the above suggestions are great, but I wish you all the best for whichever way you end up deciding to go. Just remember, the dark side has cookies! -rosemetal Job karma on the way and a sign from which ever higher power that you may believe in that you are on the right career path. -THETECHFROMHELL Great Scott, I go away for a few minutes to watch Jeopardy, pet a cat and start dinner and I already have support. Thanks for the backing, gang. I suppose now I have to share some stories from my ignoble past... <goes to plug in the external storage brain> -Lusus Offers Karma of Confidence & Sane Evaluation of Alternatives. With those two, you can make the right decision and feel good about it. -CTYankee Another thought: if you go the Tech route, run, don't walk, to Bob Lewis' website, sign up for his newsletter KJR (Keep the Joint Running), and read the archives. One of his points that's stuck with me is 'Praise in public, criticize in private' -CTYankee

Customer Misconceptions

Tech Rules